AN: Well looks like the cat. erm I mean wolf is out of the bag. Let's see what Meridian thinks of that. Thanks for stopping by if you could please read and review.
Rating: This is rated M for a reason, part of it is the language, and future violence. Another reason is lemons, or sexual content as you will. There will be that and it starts in this chapter. If you do not care for that you have been warned. However there will be no other warning, I will have a note made in chapters with particular lemony scenes in them.
Chapter 4
March 18, 2006
"Holy shit, Jake?" He backed up head down. I looked into the wolf's eyes which were Jacob's eyes. I took a shaky step forward.
"Its okay, I'm not going to scream." I looked down as something fluttered at the corner of my eye. It was the fabric of Jacob's shirt and shorts. Jacob lifted his head looking at me quizzically his head tilted slightly to the side.
"Do you have clothes with you?" He nodded his head.
"Get changed and we can talk." He wined then loped off and I wondered if he would ever come back. I stayed there feeling shaky and definitely shocked to the core of me. So it was true, my family in Sweden had secrets they tried to keep from me. They would meet late at night when I was supposed to be in bed. As a little girl I thought their fanciful stories of shape changers was just that. I had heard them tell about how they themselves changed but again I thought it was just stuff and nonsense. When I was eleven and after visiting my relatives I did research on Nose mythology and read about all sorts of things. Taht had gotten me interested in other mythologies. So now I knew it was real, or at least he was really a wolf, a werewolf, a wolf shifter? I had no idea what to call them.
"Marra snap out of it." Someone shook my shoulder gently. I blinked and looked up at Jacob who was wearing a ripped pair of shorts and no shirt which showed off his amazing body to great effect. Concentrate you idiot, you can let your crush for Jacob examine him later.
"Sorry went off into my own little world there. Sooo your a wolf? Werewolf? Wolf shifter? What exactly do you call yourself? If you are a werewolf then why can you change at will? Does it hurt? Do you feel the urge to howl at the moon majestically at night? Can your bite infect others? Do you-" Jacob put a finger up smiling.
"Okay in order, yes, yes, no, Werewolves, I have no idea, no, sometimes though I wouldn't put it that way, no. I also really don't want to talk about this its not-" It was my turn to put a finger up.
"Don't you dare Jacob Black, I'm not running away screaming in terror, and you owe me an explanation." He sighed deeply.
"Why didn't you? I mean why didn't you run away screaming?" I held up my fingers counting out reasons.
"One wolves are predators and if I would have run your instincts to chase me would have kicked in. Two I'm not an idiot you shifted right in front of me so I knew it was you. Three you weren't immediately growling and in a menacing posture. Four your my fired and I made you upset so I would be a total bitch if I just walked away from you." He looked surprised which made me giggle.
"Surprisingly well reasoned." I scoffed at him and gave him a dirty look.
"Are you calling me stupid Jacob Black, because they last time you did that Billy had you picking up trash from the beach for two days." He winced in remembering.
"No just I would imagine that somebody who was facing a werewolf wouldn't be so calm and collected thats all." I snorted again.
"Well I wasn't, you scared the ever loving shit out of me, but I can think fast due to the tight spots Dad and I have gotten into at times. So I told myself to think through the shock and now we are here, me not ran off and screaming like a little girl." That made him laugh which it was intended to do.
"Okay I can admit you've got pretty solid guts. So I guess I do owe you an explanation." So he told me as we walked down the beach me kicking a stone every now and then. He told me of the cold ones, of his tribe and the sacrifice of the third wife. He explained about the Cullans that they were cold ones which made me think about Jotunhiem or Utgard were the frost giants dwell. I wondered if they were based off these cold ones, these vampires. He explained that the Cullens being here had triggered the change. "Its like this building within you, it builds and builds then suddenly you change." He spoke of the pack and about not wanting to be alpha.
"So how are you dealing with all of this? With Bella and her dating a vamp, with these changes?" He shrugged but looked tense all the same.
"I cope, shifting helps, I can run the feelings off." He said looking away. He wandered over to a log of driftwood what was rolled close to the ocean. He sat hands clasped loosely between his legs. I sat on his left watching him. He swallowed a few times and blinked hard.
"I'm sorry for asking Jake, I just wanna make sure your doing okay. With Harry dying, Bella pining after him, and you having to save her. On top of you becoming a werewolf, if it were me I'd be a mess." He nodded only slightly trembling.
"I can't really let my emotions out without changing, its hard I just don't know what's going on sometimes. Harry, I mean he was a second father and now he dies. I feel guilty because I'm torn up about it but Sue, Leah, and Seth must be going through hell and I should be fine. I'm worried that Bella cliff diving was either her trying to relieve some stress, or her trying to kill herself. Alice coming back is worrying and now they're off on some road trip. I don't trust the Cullens however much animal blood they drink they're still dangerous. Sometimes its just too much to deal with but what exactly are my choices, I can only be there for Bella, hopefully the vamps will stay away, but Harry, he's gone and he's not coming back." This last was said as tears streamed down his face and him trembling harder. I scotched a little closer and put a hand over his.
"Its okay to feel what your feeling Jake, yes your emotions cause the shift but repressing them only hurts you." I squeezed his hand and looped my arm around his shoulders.
"I know but sometimes I feel so helpless. I'm strong and fast but I can't do anything useful. All I can do for Sue is tell her I'm here which I am but unless something catastrophic happens thats it. Bella has her own mind made up and unless the Cullens cross the treaty line I can't harm them." He balled his fists in impotent anger. I rubbed soothing circles on his back hoping that would help.
"I think your doing great, your trying to be there for your friends and that's all you can do. The fact that you care so much shows that you are a good person Jake. I know this doesn't help all that much but I'm here and I get feeling helpless. You have every right to feel what you are feeling and I hope you know that." He turned to me tears still flowing.
"Thank you, no ones told me that. You are a good friend, even though we don't see each other that often your always so good at talking to me. I really needed to hear that." He hugged me for a long time. I listened to his heart beating and inside I was cheering because I was in his arms. He smelled of pine wood, salt, and something wild. I breathed it in hugging him back hoping that he knew how much he meant to me. Soon enough he let me go and I looked up at him.
"You know I'm here whenever you need me, just give Charlie a call and-" He was looking into my eyes with an expression of intensity that I couldn't really understand.
"Thank you." Then he kissed me which was very surprising. He leaned in slowly watching my expression then he touched his lips with mine. I closed my eyes not knowing what to do or feel for a moment. Then fireworks went off in my head and I leaned into him. I breathed and felt him hold me and kiss me. It was definitely one of the best things I had ever experienced. One of his hands went to my hair which had come half out of its braid the tie being lost somewhere. He combed his hand through my hair and deepened the kiss. I had one hand on his chest the other cupping his cheek as I kissed him back. We broke apart and looked away a little blushing.
"I'm sorry but its just you," He said, "Ever since the seventh grade I wanted to kiss you." I laughed and smiled at him.
"To be perfectly honest I've had a crush on you since day one." I said looking away. He gently took my chin and turned me towards him.
"Really?" I nodded speechless with embarrassment. He leaned forward and kissed me again this time it was shorter but much deeper. He broke the kiss and grinned at me.
"Yeah when you wore long hair and didn't have the arms of a body builder I liked you a lot." I said blushing and trying not to look him in the eye. He chuckled and stood, holding out his hand he helped me up but when I was standing he didn't let it go and we started back towards his house. Along the way we shared kisses which had my heart beating with happiness and exhilaration at having him feel the same about me. Before we got within sight of the house he stopped me with a tug of my hand.
"Do you wanna come over tomorrow? We can talk more and I can show you my bike if you want." I looked up at him. He was smiling and seemed to have lost a little of the weight he was carrying emotionally.
"Sure I would love that, I'll bring a picnic, if you eat the way I saw you do earlier you must burn through your calories like crazy. He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.
"Yeah I do manage to scarf a lot down at one sitting." I laughed and shook my head.
"Well you do turn into a freaking huge wolf at will so it makes sense." I had also noted the unusual heat that emanated from his body. He tugged me closer and wrapped his arms around me pulling me in further.
"I'm just so surprised you still aren't freaking out, and that you let me kiss you." He grinned down at me.
"Oh yes because being kissed by a totally hot werewolf isn't every girls dream." I said sarcastically sticking my tongue out at him. He threw back his head and laughed hard and long. Tears came into his eyes and re removed one hand to wipe them away.
"Sarcastic much." He retorted.
"No not at all." He chuckled again.
"Be careful or you just might get tickle tortured." I fake struggled in his arms throwing my head back dramatically.
"Oh no anything but tickle torture." I said in a monotone voice struggling not to laugh. He let me go so I ran looking behind me and laughing madly. He gave me a head start but caught up with me in the end bringing both of us to the sand and tickling me mercilessly. I got a few in myself remembering he was ticklish behind he knees and his feet.
"Do you give up?" He asked with be breathless as he tickled my sides.
"Okay, okay I surrender I surrender!" I said breathlessly. He stopped tickling me and stood helping me up.
"I win." He declared with exaggerated pride.
"Oh yes go you." I joked. He swung our clasped hands as we kept walking towards the house.
"I forgot how much fun we have have when you visit." He said smiling at me.
"Same, I've missed doing this with you." We looked at each other but kept walking. He had been like a best friend to me when I had visited. I missed him badly when I left but it dulled and I was left with happy memories until I came back the the crush resurfaced with seeing him.
"Thanks again for being here for me. Your a good person, and I'm lucky to know you Mar." I smiled and stood on tiptoes to kiss him. He grabbed me up which made me squeak. He laughed and spun me a little kissing me as he did. I was in bliss, in seventh heaven right now. He set me down and we continued towards the house finally making it as Charlie came out.
"Wondered where you two got off to, Jake your Dad is inside sleeping. I got a call so they need me back at the station." I looked at Jacob who grinned.
"I'll see you tomorrow Marra, say around ten or so." I nodded and hopped in the car with Charlie giving Jacob one last glance. I started the car and we drove away me thinking about how much I enjoyed kissing Jacob.