November 2022

Jay sat at his office, writing a monthly report to his commander. Endless reports were something he didn't truly love to do, but he had started to get used to it. At least it felt easier than in the first months. Thinking backwards, these months as a sergeant had gone fast. He was surprised how smooth the change has been so far. Sure, there had been moments he had been ready to give the sergeant's insignia away, but in the end of the day everything had been good again. He had clashed with Adam a couple of times and once with Hailey, but nothing major. If he was honest, he had known those clashes would be coming. He loved Hailey, but damn that woman was stubborn.

Jay looked through the open door. They had an open case and everyone was working in it. He stood up and walked to the bullpen, sitting on Hailey's desk corner. Hailey looked up and smiled. Some things never change.

"What do we have?", Jay asked, wanting a briefing.

Team briefed him and they went through the options. They had one suspect in custody, but there seemed to be more.

"I think we need to bring Hernandez in. It's worth a try", Kevin proposed.

"Bronson is in the cell, if we can get something from him, we can use it against Hernandez", Kim chimed in.

Jay scratched the back of his neck and thought.

"Okay, Kim, Williams… you press Bronson. Others, go get Hernandez. Be careful, he could be erratic."

Hailey hopped into Vanessa's car, leaning against the passenger seat. Vanessa put gear on drive and followed Kevin and Adam.

"God, I hope we are able to wrap this case before the weekend. I really could use some spare time", Hailey said.

"Me too. I would love to go somewhere to dance. Little partying, you know", Vanessa answered.

"Yeah. No. Definitely don't want to party. I mean sleep, food, chilling…beers in Molly's at most", Hailey laughed.

"Oh, you mean quality time with your soon-to-be-husband?", Vanessa teased.

"Well… Have you seen him?", Hailey winked.

"Hailey! You can't ask me if I have checked out my sergeant", Vanessa giggled.

"Speaking of husbands and wifes… The wedding. Have you found shoes? That dress is amazing, Jay is gonna get a heart attack when he sees you in it!", Vanessa continued.

Hailey smiled. For years ago she would have been so terrified if she had been getting married next month. Hell, years ago, there would not have been any chance she would be in that kind of situation. But that was before she met Jay. Of course, they were partners first and even when she fell in love with him, all this would have terrified her, and when they started dating, she still had many challenges to be loved. But somehow that man had healed her heart and soul. She knew the scars were still there and it's not as she would let many people close, but Jay had cleared his way through all the walls she had built around her. Jay was her anchor, her safe haven. She knew it sounded cheesy, but she didn't care. Thinking about marrying him didn't scare her.

Their talk about perfect shoes interrupted quickly as they arrived at Hernandez's house. Putting their vests on, they made the plan with Kevin and Adam.

Vanessa and Hailey circled behind the house, stepping to the back door.

They heard when Kevin announced themselves and ordered their suspect to open the door, and when nothing happened, they heard Adam breaking the door. Vanessa heard a rattle from inside.

"He is running", Hailey reacted and kicked the back door open. They stormed in and just then Vanessa could see Hernandez coming and immediately firing towards Hailey who was in front of her. Second later Kevin and Adam appeared in the room and more shots were fired.

Stepping to the room Kevin could see Hernandez firing towards Hailey, who had been first through the back door. Like an instinct, Kevin fired his gun and could see Hernandez to fall. Back of his head he could hear another shot, Adam fired his gun. Turning his gaze, he saw Hailey lying on the floor and Vanessa to rush to her. It felt like a dream, a very bad dream.

Instincts kicked in again and Kevin called the backups and the ambo. He saw Adam checking Hernandez and shaking his head. Shots had been lethal. Kevin didn't care about it, he hurried to Hailey. Vanessa was already pressing Hailey's side, near her hip, just below the vest. Hailey was pale but conscious. There was a pond of blood below her.

Adam rushed outside to direct EMD's and backups. Kevin squatted next to Vanessa. They heard Hailey whisper something.

"Jay… tell Platt to go to him… She can…", she tried to say.

"Shh, save your strength. We got this, just hang in there! Ambo is here in two minutes, you are gonna be okay", Kevin tried to reassure her.

It broke his heart to hear how Hailey still thought what Jay would need. Kevin had gotten her message. Like Hailey, Kevin knew this was Jay's worst nightmare. No matter how unflinching the sergeant was usually, this would send him to the edge. Platt was one who could ground him even a little bit.

They saw Hailey begin to drift to unconsciousness. Kevin took his phone and dialed Platt's number.

"On it. I will send him safely to the Med. Take care of our girl", answered Platt before Kevin could say anything, ending the call.

Older sergeant never stopped to amaze Kevin. How she already knew what to do?

"Hailey, please, you need to stay awake… please", Vanessa pleaded.

Minutes had never been so long to Kevin. He saw Hailey to fight against exhaustion and tears falling to Vanessa's cheeks. She constantly pleaded with her friend to stay with them.

"Hailey, stay awake.. you can't do this to me. I need you. Jay needs you. Remember, the wedding", Vanessa became more desperate, when Hailey seemed to drift deeper into unconsciousness.

Kevin was sure he could see a faint smile on Hailey's lips when Vanessa mentioned the wedding.

Paramedics entered the room and took the lead. Kevin saw them working around Hailey and gently pulled Vanessa a little further. Vanessa was now sobbing uncontrollably.

They followed paramedics to outside, Vanessa hopping with them to the ambulance. Hailey was now so pale and unconscious. She looked so small on the stretcher. Kevin fought against tears, clapping the ambulance door for signaling it to go on and commanding all units to secure the ambulance on its way to the Med via his radio.

Platt walked to the bullpen and saw it was empty. Jay was not in his office. She found him from the observation room to see how Kim and Williams interrogated the suspect.

Jay could see something was wrong. Platt was too serious and looked upset.

"Who?", he asked, knowing something had happened.

"Jay, it's Hailey. But she is alive, on the way to the hospital."

It felt like the world had stopped moving, like someone had punched him to guts. Hailey. His Hailey. Hailey was injured and he had not been there. He hadn't protected her. That feeling was unbearable.

"Which hospital?"Jay asked, already going.

"Med. I come with you, grab what you need"; Platt answered grabbing him by the arm.

Jay stared at her, his face blank. "Okay, but I'll drive."

Platt prayed in her mind that she would be alive after that car drive, but nodded to him. She knew better than to argue with him now. They hurried to Jay's truck.

Kevin stood looking at the fading ambulance, the sirens were on. He felt someone put his hand to his shoulder, and turned to face the newcomer.

"What the f**k went wrong?" Adam's voice was full of pain.

"Dunno. Maybe nothing. You know these things just happen in our line of work."

"Hmm.. Jay?" Adam couldn't even make whole sentences.

"On the way to the Med with Platt", answered Kevin.

"Good. He's gonna be totally out of control… Maybe it's a good thing that the bastard is already dead." Adam looked towards the house, where the shooter still was.

Kevin nodded. "Let's go,we are useless here, I wanna go to the hospital."

Both men walked towards the car, their shoulders tense. They didn't want to think about what could wait for them at the hospital. Adam dug up his phone, he needed to call Kim. He wasn't sure if anyone had told her and Williams what had happened.

Vanessa stood behind the glass doors of Baghdad. Arriving at the Med had been blurry. Familiar faces, all the running, voices giving orders. Stretchers were rolled to the emergency room, doors had been closed leaving her behind them.

She was crying, she didn't know how long she had cried, but tears didn't seem to run out. This was her fault. She was Hailey's partner, she was supposed to watch her six all the time. She had let this happen. She had failed Hailey. How she was going to face Jay? It would be hard to face him as her commanding sergeant, but even harder to face him as Hailey's fiance.

Vanessa could hear someone running towards her.

"What happened? Where's Hailey?" the voice asked.

Vanessa turned to look. Will Halstead stood there, his look full of worry.

"Hailey has been shot."

That was all Vanessa could say. She nodded towards the room. Will entered into the room, leaving Vanessa alone.

Jay parked his truck in front of Med, not caring if it was one of the doctors' parking lots. He ran through the sliding doors, Platt following him more calmly.

Jay had been at Med so many times that he knew where Hailey would be. She spotted Vanessa and strode towards her.

Vanessa saw Jay and Platt coming. She tried to pull herself together. This was her fault, she needed to face Jay, she thought.

"Jay… I'm so sorry! This is my…", she whispered in tears, not able to continue.

Jay looked at Vanessa. When they had been speeding to the Med, he had been mad at Vanessa. She should have been the one protecting her partner. But looking at her and seeing how broken she was, he understood that this wasn't Vanessa's fault. If this was someone's fault, it was his. His fault. Hailey could die and it was his fault.

"Shh…. This isn't your fault. This is my fault. I ordered you to go to get Hernandez. I made the decision. I was the one who took the promotion instead of being Hailey's partner. If this is someone's fault, it is mine."

The heartbroken look on Jay's face and pain in his voice were so raw, that Vanessa felt her heart shatter once again. She looked at Platt, who's eyes were on tears.

"Jay no. Stop. This isn't your fault. Hailey would never want you to beat yourself like that. Please, stop", Vanessa pleaded.

She did the only thing she came up with. She stepped closer to Jay and awkwardly draped her arms around him. She was Hailey's partner after all, she thought. It was her job to try to do what Hailey would do if she could, and Hailey would do everything she could that Jay would not blame himself. It surprised Vanessa that Jay let her hug him. He didn't exactly hug her back, but stood there and let her comfort him. Or maybe she just comforted herself, Vanessa didn't know. They just stood there quiet.

Just when Kevin and Adam stormed in, Will came out from the emergency room. Everyone's eyes stared at him, like pleading the good news, scaring the worst.

"She is going to the surgery. The bullet went through but nicked the mesenteric artery. She has lost a lot of blood but she is stable now and they are quite hopeful. We can only wait now ", Will informed them.

Jay took a deep breath. Hailey was alive. She was alive but nothing was sure yet. It felt still like something had been trying to strangle him. Hailey was in danger and he could do nothing. He wanted to do something. He wanted to kill that piece of shit who did this.

"Where's the shooter?", Jay turned to face his team.

"Dead", Adam answered simply. "I don't know if it was Kevin or me, but it was clean shot. Just a little too late. If we were…"

"Do not", Jay interrupted him. "That can wait, and I believe you did everything right. Like I said to Vanessa, this isn't your fault, this is my fault. I am your commanding officer, I ordered you to go there."

"With all respect, sergeant, stop. That was a basic arrest. We all have done it hundreds of times. We all know it can go south whenever. We know risks. Hailey knew risks and if there is one person who doesn't want you to blame yourself, it's Hailey. If not otherwise, stop for her." Kevin's words were emphatic.

Jay stared at him, saying nothing.

Will cleared his throat. "You can wait in the waiting room. I will show you."

He wrapped her other hand gently around his little brother's shoulder, directing him to the waiting room. Others followed them.

Vanessa sat down, Kevin went next to him, putting his hand around her. Platt and Adam sat opposite them, talking something quietly. Kim and Williams arrived. Kim went to hug Jay, crying to his shoulder. Room was almost silent, they all just waited. Waited for someone to come and tell that Hailey was okay.

Jay couldn't stay still. Pacing back and worth, he looked like he could explode in any minute. Will looked at him. He was worried about Hailey, but right now he was almost as worried about his baby brother. Jay had gone through so much. There had been times Will had been afraid that he would lose him, that his recklessness would cost him his life. But then came Hailey. Hailey forced him to go therapy, Hailey made him trust someone again. Hailey was always there for him, Hailey made him believe in himself and in future. Hailey was Jay's love of life, Will was absolutely sure about that. Now Hailey could die and not Will was sure Jay would survive if it happens.

Will went closer and stopped Jay. He put her hands to his shoulders, facing him.

"Jay. She is strong and probably as stubborn as you. She will make it. She would not leave you, not like this, not now", he tried to console him.

Jay looked him into eyes. There were tears in Jay's eyes.

His voice cracked when he talked. "She can't die. I can't live without her. Will, I can't. We are going to get married next month. She can't…"

Will threw his hands around his brother, hugging him tight. Staying there, in his big brother embrace, Jay finally lost it. Tears began to flow down his cheeks, he cried, his whole body trembled. He cried for Hailey, for himself. It broke Will's heart, his usually so calm and strong brother breaking to the pieces like that.

Will stood there, trying to keep his brother together.

"You are going to marry that girl… and I am going to have best bestman's speech ever", he whispered. He hoped he was right. Now they just needed to wait.