you only have to let the soft animal of your body
Spruce is not speaking with you.
He throws himself into battle against the first wild pokemon he finds and does not stop battering away at it until he's won. He flings himself into one battle after the other. Your other pokemon hang back, worried and confused.
Nightshade decides to go back into his pokeball and you can feel him shiver under your hands as he goes. He didn't sustain a single injury during those gym battles and his guilt is as heavy as a raincloud, weighing him down. You can feel it.
Berry is too tired to keep his eyes open. He goes back into his pokeball to rest. He leaves you with a soft nudge against your side and a whispered, Listen. It's good advice but you don't know what to listen for. The road past the Oreburgh Museum is a dead end but Spruce is battering at it like it will lead somewhere.
He doesn't listen to you when you ask him to rest and only comes back to let you use potions on him. Guilt is weighing on you as well. Guilt and fear in a mixture that bubbles acidic in your body and matches your new sunburns in depth of pain. There is something heavy in his eyes even as his body moves lightly. You fear that it's hatred. You would deserve it.
You watch him fight until you can't take it anymore. The ponyta he's battling falls, defeated. Before he can throw himself into the tall grass for another battle you pick him up physically and pull him back. He twists in your arms but you hold tight and he doesn't struggle hard enough to hurt you. You make it to where your backpack is and put him down. He turns away at once and it feels like a knife to chest or even worse.
Spruce?
Are you alright, are you hurt?
No answer. You pull out a potion anyway and spray them on his wounds with trembling hands, the sight of several burns at his side a new knife. You use a super potion. The burns heal and fade right before your eyes, as if he was never hurt in the first place. The sound of his ribs caving in plays again in your mind in high definition. You bite your lip and feel it split beneath your teeth, blood burning your tongue.
You take out another potion and grip it with white-knuckled hands, bending over him.
I'm sorry, you whisper through furiously muffled sobs. I'm sorry Spruce.
I couldn't protect you.
You go still. Those words had come from both of your mouths. You lift your head up to lock eyes with Spruce who whirls around to look at you, lamplit eyes wide.
Me? Protect me?
You swallow down the lump in your throat and force yourself forward.
Yes. I failed you. I should have been more careful —
Spruce interrupts you with a nudge against your face, confused.
No. I was supposed to protect you. I was supposed to be strong. I am the one who failed. I'm sorry.
Something is off here. You squint at him through your tears.
What? No.
Yes, says Spruce patiently.
No, you tell him, equally patient. That is not — that's not how this works.
I wasn't strong enough, he says. I was weak. If you are displeased with me —
You rear back as if you've been slapped across the face. Displeased?
He winces and lowers his head. If you are disappointed.
This one hits even worse. You choke on your next breath.
Disappointed! I would never be disappointed with you!
Never? says Spruce. There is something pained and hopeful in his eyes. He takes a deep breath. Really? Never?
Never, you assure him. Spruce I thought — I thought you would be disappointed with me.
Spruce sits up straight in the circle of your arms and blinks at you, the look on his face uncharacteristically grave.
No, he says firmly. No.
Oh, you say and feel the world resume. Oh. That's...that's good.
With your exhausted and frayed mind, there is nothing else you can think to do now but gather him up in your arms. Spruce lays against you still for a moment before his tail begins to lash, his energy returning. You let him down and take in a slow, deep breath to stabilize yourself.
Let us take a moment to regroup, you tell him.
Spruce bounces up to your lap again.
Huh?
Communication is important. We must talk about these things in the future so we do not misunderstand one another.
He lets loose a rumbling purr and flops down.
Okay.
You pick up the rest of your pokeballs and let the rest of the team out. Nightshade hides under your jacket. Berry ambles over and flops down on your lap right beside Spruce.
He yawns.
Oh good, Berry says. You listened.
You did. And you continue to do so.
• ● • • ● • ●
At the opening of Oreburgh Gate someone slams into you, barely manages to catch themselves before you both fall, and then decides in a fit of genius to lift you off your feet. You heard the familiar footsteps come running so you don't bother bracing yourself. The sky spins just the slightest bit though and Barry's voice is megaphone-loud in your ears. Ah, this is friendship.
Your first thought is, Huh? He stayed? Your second thought involves landing logistics and how many bandages you have in your bag at this very moment.
Barry surprises you by letting you down before you both hit the ground. You think it's because he has realized the ground here is solid rock and not the soft grass you are both used to. He laughs at the look on your face.
"Whoops! Glen! You got the gym badge, huh? Lemme see!"
You did get the gym badge so you let him see it. It sits in the first slot of your badge case, polished to an incredible shine.
"Wow," says Barry squinting. "That's uh — that's really bright! How'd you get it so...shiny?"
You explain to Barry that Nightshade had liked the squeaking sounds the badge made as you cleaned it. He'd ended up singing along as you polished so you had kept going until you no longer could.
"Wow," he says. "Sounds like you! Anyways, wanna grab some lunch? I got some pecha smoothies from the shop for you!"
Your eyes shine brighter than the badge in your hands. You nod with more energy than you thought you were currently capable of.
You decide to have lunch on a nearby rock that takes a little climbing to get onto. Your teams crowd around you and Barry goes through his food at mach speeds, dodging the sneaky grabs of his pokemon even though they already have their own meals. When he's done, he turns his eyes to your plate. The ever familiar question comes.
"You gonna eat that?"
You let him have part of your sandwich in exchange for the rest of his smoothie and his pokemon attempt to snatch that sandwich from him too. You look on sagely, taking slow bites of your own food as your pokemon watch on with mild horror and entertainment. Spruce looks like he wants to join in but is barely holding back.
He's fine, you tell them. It's just karma at work.
"I heard that!" yells Barry and turns around with indignant noise. In that split-second of distraction, his starly swoops in and leaves with victory held tight in her beak. "Nooo!"
You take another bite of your sandwich and turn your head to the face the very interesting wall when he looks at you, eyes wide and lower lip wobbling.
"Glen," he whines.
Wow, that sure is a rock. Think that might be stone right there, hmm.
"Gleeeen."
You hand him your salad.
Blatantly fake sniffles rise from the side. You won't look, you tell yourself. It's all over if you do.
Another sniffle. A pathetically sad noise.
You let him have the other half of your sandwich and he bowls you over with a cheer.
"Thanks, Glen! You're the best!"
Lunch ends as chaotically as it started. You stand before the opening of Oreburgh Gate once more. Barry talks as you walk, swinging your hands as he keeps up a steady stream of chatter that ends with the following.
"So, yeah. I went to Route 207, but you can't get through there without a bike. I made my team battle and toughened them up, so it wasn't a total waste. So right now I'm going back to Jubilife City."
He comes to a halt right where the Gate begins and lets go, grinning at you.
"Next stop, the Eterna City badge! I'll see you there! Ten seconds before I dash! Nine...Eight...Bah! Who's got time to count?!"
And then he's off like a rocket to blaze his path forward.
You enter Oreburgh Gate at a more sedate pace.
This time you want to explore.
The rocks off the side crumble and you pass them by with a feeling of pride. Your first step towards becoming strong was shaky but you got past it and this was proof. Nightshade wriggles in his pokeball so you let him out. He flies forward on silent wings as you get deeper into the cave system.
His directions are invaluable even though he startles people as often as he startles himself. Down in the lower level of the caves, the air is cooler and there's a deep blue lake. You take off your gloves to run your hands through the calm waters. You do a spot of fishing and watch your bobber bounce in the water. You catch nothing at all.
It's nice to take your time like this, moving at your own pace.
Part of why you wanted to become a trainer was to explore hidden places and see what they held. Berry nudges at bioluminescent plants with fascinated eyes. In the caves you find a pearl so big you have to hold it in both hands and a TM for the move Flash.
Spruce recovers his confidence. He runs forward and backward, engaging in battle where it suits him and soon enough you can see his improvement turn visible. And so can he.
While the rest of you wander about, Spruce practices his spark until it becomes second nature and also until it tires him out completely. But you can tell he doesn't really want to rest, looking up at you with glittering eyes. You decide it's time to leave. A quick visit to Jubilife City's pokecenter will have him right as rain and you can let him battle as much as he wants afterwards.
As you leave the lower levels of the cave to come back up to surface level, you can hear a conversation going on that strikes you as slightly...off.
"Still no badge?" sighs a voice you recognize as being the hiker from before, the one who stands at the start of Oreburgh Gate. "What a pity."
"Um, yeah." says a younger voice, one that sounds sad and uncomfortable. "Sorry. I know you were rooting for me and all."
You walk a little closer and stand stock still as a heavy sigh comes from the side. From your vantage point, you can see the kid's shoulders slumping even further. He wears a camper's outfit and his hands are stuffed into his pockets.
The hiker claps a hand onto his shoulder. You tense, hands flickering, about to open your mouth.
"Now, now none of that," the hiker says, voice calm. "You did your best didn't you? And I'm sure you've learned a lot about yourself and your pokemon in the process."
The conversation has taken a sharp right, veering completely off from what you were expecting.
The kid looks as startled as you feel, looking up with wide eyes. "Huh?"
"Don't beat yourself up about losing. It happens to the best of us, even champions," the hiker continues. "When you're ready, just give it another try!"
A tentative smile makes its way onto the kid's face.
"Yeah," he says softly, already sounding much happier. "Yeah okay. It's not over until it's over, right?"
"Exactly! That's the spirit."
"Thanks. I'll try again sometime and let you know if I ever do beat the gym leader. You'll still be here, right?"
"Of course," says the hiker. "I'll be right here cheering for you! Take care of yourself, kid."
What...was going on here?
Were regular adults just this nice?
You take a route that goes around to get past the hiker and his camper companion, trying not to stare too much. From here you note down the resemblance between them and sigh in relief. So they were relatives. That explains some things. Not the niceness.
Or maybe this is just how things are in the outside world? It's a nice thought.
You're so busy pondering over this fact that you barely notice you've made it out of the cave. The sun informs you of this fact by viciously assailing your eyes with light. You wonder if the grass and trees were always this colorful, if the sky was always this blue.
Nightshade gives you a low chirp of sympathy and disappears into his pokeball. You get moving, memorizing the newly vivid landscape as you make your way through it. The journey back to Jubilife is a peaceful one and although entering is still a jarring experience you acclimate faster than you did the first time.
It's almost familiar, the sight of bustling people and pokemon, the tall buildings, the crushing noise, Mr. Looker in an alleyway.
Huh?
Mr. Looker?
You squint on your way out of the pokecenter. Either he feels you staring or he just has an excellent sense of his surroundings because the minute you step forward to see if you're seeing wrong he is looking right at you.
"Ah, hello!" he says, walking over and coming to a stop a bit further from you so you don't strain your neck looking up at him. "How have you been, young Glen?"
You tell him you've been good. He tells you to be careful and look out for shady adults.
You spare a moment to wonder how Mr. Looker sees himself. He leaves and when you finally do catch sight of shady adults, hearing the name Team Galactic flutter on the wind like a flag, you also wonder for the first time and definitely not the last just how bad his luck is.
• ● • • ● • ●
There are two of them. You get close enough to stare at the light reflecting from their outfits and hear what they're talking about.
Professor Rowan is there, which makes you calm at once. Lucas is also there.
Zen follows effortlessly.
"Now, now, now, now, now! Professor Rowan, you must comply. Hand over all your research findings. For free, naturally. Failure to comply will result in a painful time for your assistant," one of the men in strange uniform threatens.
The professor catches sight of you as you approach and greets you warmly.
"Ah, Glen," he says, entirely unconcerned about what's going on. "Well? How is the pokedex progressing?"
You show him the three pokeballs on your clip and your record of seen pokemon on the 'dex, feeling a little guilty about the low numbers. The professor doesn't seem at all worried about your lack of apparent progress or the current situation. He congratulates you on meeting new team members and looks intrigued when he catches sight of your badge case in the process.
"Hm! That's Oreburgh's gym badge, I see. But didn't I give you your first pokemon only recently…?" he mutters, eyes thoughtful. "Perhaps being a trainer is like second nature to you."
Here the other man interrupts, having grown tired of being ignored. His voice is loud and dripping malice.
"Oh, professor of pokemon must you be so difficult?" he says with an exaggerated sigh. "We are speaking to you on business. Because this is work for us. What we're saying is — we demand you comply with our demands."
"Quiet, you lot!" snaps Professor Rowan.
You jump on reflex before realizing where you are and who you're with.
"Why must you be such a nuisance?" the professor continues. "Let me list some lessons you still need to learn."
Professor Rowan stands with his shoulders squared and stance perfectly even. Lucas gestures you over and the both of you huddle behind the professor's back as he verbally tears his aggressors to shreds.
You have the feeling Professor Rowan has done this before.
"First," says the professor. "Don't loiter about for no good reason. Second, don't interrupt others while they are attempting to converse. Third, if you don't get your way don't raise your voice to be intimidating. Fourth, don't think you've grown strong just because you're in a group."
Professor Rowan...he's not holding back at all.
What is going on here exactly?
This you say to Lucas who answers you with a baffled shrug. He seems somewhat out of it, not entirely focused on what's going. Maybe he's used to this sort of thing too if he can daydream during what is essentially a shakedown in the quieter part of the city where people don't often frequent.
"Fifth," you hear the professor say, still going strong. "What is with those outlandish outfits you have on? My goodness...you call yourselves adults?"
Having said his piece the professor turns to you and Lucas. "You kids, don't grow up to be like these sorry specimens."
You peek around him to where the men are standing, their uniforms shimmering in the sunlight. You avert your eyes so the reflection of light doesn't take out your eyes. There is not much you can say here, really.
"Eeeeeh!" one of them shrieks in fury, having caught sight of your face and the expression on it. "You had to make this personal! You have forced our hand into making a show of force! We will make you regret insulting Team Galactic!"
"Lucas," Professor Rowan sighs, shaking his head. "Give these thugs a lesson in civility, please."
Lucas's faraway gaze returns as he answers. "Huh? Oh, right. Sure thing, professor."
He turns to you, looking a bit more awake. "Glen?"
You can feel Spruce sparking excitedly in his pokeball so you nod.
It's the first time you've fought alongside another trainer and the experience is new and thrilling. The Team Galactic people don't seem very put out about fighting younger trainers and the one who sends out a glameow looked very excited to cause some damage.
You don't know how much damage a glameow can do and are appropriately wary. The battle is faster and more vicious than you're expecting. After a few testing blows have been exchanged, the Galactic people decide to get serious. The one with the glameow has an odd light in his eyes. His pokemon's claws are very sharp and its eyes glimmer with intent. It dodges the sparks Spruce is generating and goes straight for Jewel, raking three sharp lines across his chest.
Jewel staggers back with a pained chirp and you can tell Lucas wants to switch him out. You decide to step in. Spruce has finally built up enough charge and he slams into the glameow's side with a sharp crackle, scorching the ground and singing its fur as the electricity hits. Jewel has enough energy to direct a desperate water attack at the other pokemon on the field, a skuntank that doesn't even bother dodging.
There's a look of relief on its face as it gets recalled.
The glameow goes after Spruce now and it's by sheer luck and the sharp increase in speed his training afforded him that it doesn't manage to sink snarling teeth into his body. He doesn't bother charging up for the next hit, using the flash of electricity to blind the other pokemon quickly before coming in for a final blast. The glameow falls.
Its trainer makes a furious noise and takes a step forward before being dragged back by the other one.
"You leave us no option," he says, barely managing civility, his hand still clamped tight onto his associate's arm. "We will retreat for now. We shall do so because Team Galactic is benevolent to all."
The professor scoffs as they withdraw.
"That lot..." he says, shaking his head. "They called themselves Team Galactic."
He turns to look you in the eye, his voice grave. "When pokemon evolve, they seem to release some type of energy. However, I believe that it's a mystic power far beyond our control. Team Galactic seems to be studying that power's potential. They want to know if it can be used as energy for something..."
He trails off, his frown even more severe than usual.
Lucas steps up to you, offering you a super potion with a warm thanks.
"Glen, did you know about this?" he says, voice quiet. "The professor studies the evolution of pokemon too. According to his research, 90% of all pokemon are somehow tied to evolution and there's more than one kind. His most recent research data hasn't been shared yet. Maybe that's why they tried to stop him here."
He rubs at his temples and continues, "I can't believe they tried it in broad daylight though...who knows how they might try to escalate things next time."
Professor Rowan sighs and walks over to pat Lucas on the back.
"It's all over, so you can relax now. Still, thanks to you two, nothing came of that situation. I appreciate that."
The professor then turns to you to convey his gratitude and there is a contemplative tone to his voice as he continues, "Incidentally, Glen. Kudos to your battling skill. It got me thinking. Why don't you collect all the gym badges of Sinnoh?"
You blink up at him, a little startled by the sudden change in subject. Lucas makes a short huh noise beside him.
"Doing so, you will surely encounter lots of pokemon. That, of course, means your pokedex pages will continuously fill up. In other words, it will be of great help to my research," Professor Rowan says before coming to a halt.
He clears his throat awkwardly and you can tell he's gotten worried that he's pressuring you.
"That said, I've given you your first pokemon and pokedex as yours to keep. You're free to do with them as you wish," he says, gruff and kind. "Take care now."
You wave as you watch them go, but your hand drops as soon as they leave your sight. You can feel your heartbeat thundering in your chest. The professor has already given you more than you ever thought to have. And now he's given something else. An excuse. A perfect set of blinders, a curtain to place your secrets behind and hide them in plain sight.
Something that will help the both of you because you want to help the professor, of course you do. You are immeasurably grateful to him after all. You will certainly do all you can to ensure this benefits him as well.
The plan that you've been fitting together in your head gains another puzzle piece and you can feel the click in your bones. And in a moment of serendipity, the last puzzle piece is placed right into your hands just a moment later.
• ● • • ● • ●
The Jubilife City Television Station is a massive affair, dwarfing the buildings beside it in size and presence.
The talent scout walks beside you, wringing his hands with excitement as he chatters on. You listen with as much good grace as you can even though everything about this place sets your teeth on edge. It will be worth it, you tell yourself. You will make it worth it. Eyes slide over the figure you cut and they feel like something acidic.
"You've got a great presence kid." he says, beaming at you. "You're going to be a huge hit, I'm sure of it! Everyone will know your name!"
*a/n: 1. i considered making the hiker at the beginning of Oreburgh Gate an evil guy who was out to get the coal badge from people who won it and pressured weak willed people into taking the gym challenge so he could steal their badges and sell them on the pokemon black market but he was so nice when i talked to him even though i expected a battle so i felt bad and scrapped that storyline (or did i?)
2. glen's thought process before entering Jubilife TV: a well-known trainer is a well-recognized trainer. a well-recognized trainer is in the public eye and cannot disappear unnoticed. this will add another layer of safety.
glen's thought process while inside Jubilife TV: i love suffering. read all about it