Hey everybody,

first of all: Thank you all so much! You have no idea how much your words mean to be and all your kindness made me really happy and gratefull, so thank you guys! And yes, this week was better, it was still tough and there are still a lot of things I have to figure out, but it is not as overwhelming anymore and I'm pretty sure I will figure all those things out. Thank you all so much for your loving support, in times like this people like you make life really so much better and so I'm really happy I can also share something with you and give something back!

I hope you'll enjoy the next chapter and I'm looking forward to next weekend ;-)

See you!

Chapter 3

-Sanji-

I don't feel my legs.

What?!

I can't move them.

What the fuck…?!

And the way Chopper looks, I doubt it will change.

Shut the fuck up!

By now, Sanji stood in the galley, just seconds after Zoro had thrown them all out - well, he had actually only thrown a chair, but it came to the same thing – Zoro's words of still occupying his mind.

He could hear the others talking to Chopper, who was standing next to Robin at the closed door to the sickbay, but Sanji barely listened to them.

"What's going on?"

"What did he mean by that?"

"Is it true? Is it permanent?"

"Come on, just say something."

"Chopper." Everyone stopped talking as Luffy suddenly raised his voice.

Sanji as well lifted his head and looked at the man they were all following.

"You should go to him." The voice of their captain was unusually calm.

"What? But..."

"You can explain what this means to us later. But now Zoro needs you."

Chopper nodded briefly, took a deep breath, and went back inside. On the other side of the wooden wall, it remained silent.

"But Luffy," Nami said aloud after a moment, "he just threw us out. What if he's going for Chopper's throat now?"

"He won't," Luffy simply replied and sat down on the sofa, his hat pulled deep over his face. This Luffy was not the funny rubber boy, but the serious captain. Fuck!

"But what the hell does this mean?" Usopp asked uncertain. "Does this mean Zoro will never be able to walk again?"

"No! That's bullshit!" Sanji hissed too quickly and too loud. "Of course he will, he'll be just fine! After all, we're talking about the stupid Marimo."

"It's not that simple, Sanji." Robin sounded calm, but he could feel the subliminal tension in her words as she gazed through the hatch back into the sickbay before heading to the table. "Even our swordsman is not immune to injury. We have to wait and not jump to conclusions of any kind until we hear what Chopper has to say."

Brook sat down next to her, a cup of tea in his hand. "True words, my dear."

"How can you be so calm?!" The navigator huffed, slapping both hands on the table. "If what he says is true, it means..."

"Nami!" Luffy sounded determined and serious.

Surprised, Nami looked at him, but he didn't say another word, simply leaned against the back of the sofa with his arms crossed.

Franky sighed and dropped on the sofa next to his captain. "That means we can only wait until we know more. At least, he's finally woken up."

Usopp was still standing at the wall like ordered and not picked up yet, but Nami just grabbed him harshly by the arm and dragged him along to the table.

Sanji, meanwhile, walked back into his kitchenette, because he had been preparing dinner when Usopp had stormed in to let them know that Zoro had woken up. Not that he could really focus on it now.

Seconds ago it had been loud, everyone had been talking at once. Now it was quiet. Only the sizzling of the pan and the occasional movement of a chair disturbed the silence. Nothing could be heard from the room next door.

After a while, Franky got up.

"Come on, Usopp," he grumbled.

"What? Why?"

"Just get up."

Sanji heard them talk but didn't turn around. Cooking was the only thing that could help him right now, soothing his troubled mind.

"Sanji, we're going to miss dinner, can you put something aside for us?"

He briefly looked up. The cyborg had pushed up his glasses and looked at him with depressingly serious eyes.

"Sure, no problem."

"Great, thank you. We'll probably be up all night. So you don't need to put somebody else on night watch, Nami."

With that, they left.

"As if anybody would be sleeping tonight," Nami grumbled, accepting the cup of tea Robin offered her.

"What do you think they're up to?" muttered Brook.

"It doesn't matter." Sanji's voice could not have been colder.

He absolutely didn't give a damn what those two hobbyists were once again plotting in their confused thought processes. He could hardly comprehend how they could actually leave right now to do something else. But then he realized that they were probably doing the just same thing he did. He cooked, they tinkered, it wasn't that different.

For three days all of them had done nothing but waited.

Actually, the last three days had been not that unusual, they had left this cursed island behind and set course for the new world again. The atmosphere on board had been good, despite the unconscious swordsman.

They were used to Zoro sleeping back to health, sometimes over several days. It actually wasn't anything that uncommon, although Sanji could not recall him sleeping for almost three days straight.

However, what had been unusual was that, according to Chopper, the injuries had not been serious enough for Zoro to sleep for so long. Now they knew Chopper's concern had not been unjustified. Now they knew the injuries had been bad enough.

"Oh, fuck!"

"Sanji, what happened?"

"Nothing, nothing. Don't worry, Nami. I just cut myself."

"Is it bad?"

"Nah, just a scratch, barely bleeds."

He was supposed to be delighted that Nami was actually worried about him, but he was much more annoyed with himself. He hadn't cut himself in years, something like this only happened to amateurs and charlatans, not to a professional like him. He didn't make such mistakes, not him.

After a while, Brook got up to set the table while Sanji was almost done.

At that point, Chopper also came back; quietly, he closed the door. He said nothing but jumped on the sofa next to Luffy, who simultaneously got up and went towards the sickbay without asking even one question.

"Wait, Luffy," Chopper muttered, looking up to him. "It was quite exhausting for Zoro. He's asleep now. Please wait, at least until after dinner."

Only now did Sanji notice that Luffy hadn't even whined once while he had to wait for dinner but had just sat there quietly. If he was honest, Luffy's behavior was the scariest thing about the whole situation. A serious Luffy was always a cause for concern. If even Luffy lost his good mood, the Marimo seriously had to be in a bad shape.

"Doesn't matter, you guys can start dinner without me. I'm not going to take long; Zoro can sleep afterwards."

Sanji almost dropped the bowl he was holding. He had never seen his gluttonous captain refuse a meal, now he was really worried.

A few minutes later, the remaining five sat down at the kitchen table, but none of them were really hungry.

"So, how bad is it, Chopper?" Sanji asked, toneless. Normally he wouldn't sit at the table with the others, but eat after the official meal, but today was nothing like it normally was.

"Well, it's a complete paralysis of both legs due to a spinal cord injury. There's nothing to sugarcoat about that." Chopper's response was sad, but calm, almost rational.

From the room next door nothing but dull voices could be heard.

"Can it be treated?" Nami moved her salad from side to side without actually eating anything.

"We can work on the mobility of the legs through physiotherapy, but that's probably about it. Since I do not have the necessary equipment, I cannot say what has damaged the spinal cord - although it is most likely due to a vertebral fracture - but I can say that it has not been completely severed, as other abilities are still intact that would otherwise not work."

"But will he ever be able to walk again?" Nami asked the question they all were thinking.

"Well, to be honest..."

A loud bang made them all flinch.

"I said NO!" Luffy's angry, loud voice echoed over to them.

Sanji and Robin exchanged a quick glance as he already jumped up and rushed to the sickbay, Chopper right behind him. As he opened the door he first saw Luffy standing in front of him, his hat had fallen to the ground, he was breathing heavily, a clenched fist still raised.

Then he saw Zoro.

He was lying on the floor, his legs entangled with the blanket, a trapped foot still hung at the height of the mattress. With both arms, the swordsman lifted his upper body off the ground and looked at his captain, his right cheek still reddened by the blow.

"Luffy, Zoro! What the hell?!" Nami's voice was clearly too loud.

"This is not your decision!" Zoro replied, completely ignoring Sanji and the others as he stared furiously at his captain.

"But I'm the Captain!" Luffy was angry, as angry as they had rarely experienced.

"Then behave like one and make reasonable decisions!"

The swordsman turned to the side, keeping himself in that half-seated position, his legs still entangled uncoordinated with the blanket.

"I already did and end of story!"

Luffy turned around, grabbed his straw hat and left the sickbay, slamming the door shut behind him.

Frightened, they all stared after their captain. But then Sanji noted how the otherwise elegant swordsman, painstakingly and awkwardly tried to free himself from the blanket.

Lifeless his right leg fell to the ground.

"Oh Zoro, let me help you." Chopper was already rushing towards him.

"No," the elder growled crudely, "I'm fine!"

"But, Zoro," Nami said in a scolding, yet compassionate, tone, "don't be so..."

"Just leave!" The other rolled on his stomach and pushed himself up with his arms.

"I'm so done with your pitying glances!" His voice was freezing cold. "I don't need help, so just get out!"

Robin, too, wanted to object, Sanji could see her serious, anxious gaze, so he decided to interfere.

"You heard him. Let's go before dinner gets cold."

With the exception of the swordsman, everyone looked at him with surprise. Sanji, however, kept his eyes on Zoro and noted to the others to leave. As they door closed behind them, he could see the other sighing in relief, still lying on the ground, only then did he seem to notice that Sanji was still there.

"What the hell do you want?" His voice sounded more threatening than a blade on Sanji's throat could be.

"Nothing," he replied, trying to sound calm, and pulling up Chopper's office chair. With his arms folded and his legs crossed, he took a seat and looked down to his favorite enemy.

He knew that Zoro did not want pity and would not accept any help. Even hurt, even unable to do anything, he still had his damn bothersome pride and incredibly annoying honor.

"So, show me how you need no help."

Angry, those green eyes glared at him as the other was still cowering on the ground.

"Asshole."

But then Zoro actually turned away and robbed back to the bed.

Sanji leaned against the chair and fumbled for his cigarettes.

"Chopper doesn't want people to smoke in here," the swordsman grumbled, reaching for the bed.

Sighing, Sanji put his vice away again. He tried his best to look relaxed, maybe even condescending, but in fact he just wanted nothing more than to embrace Zoro with all his strength and promise him that everything would be fine again.

But right now, there was no room for his own weakness, his own fears. Especially now, when the others misinterpreted their own emotions as those of the swordsman, so Sanji had to keep calm.

"You're enjoying this whole thing, right?"

To his surprise, Zoro's voice wasn't half as threatening as just a few seconds ago, while he tensed up both arms and pulled himself up at the bedside. With a quiet puff, his upper body landed on the soft mattress, face forward.

"Far less than you might imagine," Sanji replied calmly, even though it tingled in his fingers. It would be so easy to help the other if the Marimo would just let him.

But if he really wanted to help Zoro, he had to restrain himself and respect the other's feelings. If he were to intervene now, he would only do so to please his own conscience.

"You think I do?" The other murmured into the mattress and rolled to the side.

"Well, I don't know. Do you?"

"Fuck off."

But he could hear the slight smirk in the other's voice, while the Marimo hoisted himself onto the stacked pillows and lifted up one leg after another.

Sanji was almost impressed with how quickly the other was able to do it, but even that he wouldn't allow himself to be noted.

"What? You asked me."

With a sigh, the swordsman finally sat up and looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Even you can't be that stupid..."

"Well, at least I'm not stupid enough to mess with my captain."

The shadow of a grin he had just put on the other's face disappeared.

"What? Did you really think I'd let you get away with it that easily? I may have saved you from the others, but only for women I am a knight in shiny armor."

"My ass! Knight in shiny armor? You're a sadistic idiot and you like that I'm at your mercy."

"That's what you said now. Why should you be helplessly at my mercy?"

"I can't run away or fight with you, cook. Face the truth, I am at your mercy. I just never said I'm helpless." His words were cool, his gaze unimpressed.

But Sanji's heart was racing. He knew what Zoro was telling him and he was fucking right.

Shit!

"So that's what you were arguing with Luffy about?"

"We didn't argue. That would mean he would have listened to me and responded to my arguments."

"As if you knew how to argue."

"Shut up, dartboard brow, you've never won an argument against me."

"Oh, I did, the trick is not to let the other realize that he has already lost."

It hurt!

By now he had leaned both elbows on his thighs and grinned at the other, who grinned back no less dangerously. Their little quarrels were probably as pleasing as a pretty woman in a bikini, even if he would never admit it, but it only really became satisfying when they gave in to their adrenaline.

But that wouldn't happen.

There would be no fight. Zoro would not be able to fight. And this realization hit Sanji unprepared and hard. Zoro would never be able to fight again with his swords, not against him, not against the Marines, not against Hawk Eyes. Gasping for air, Sanji leaned back, looking for his cigarettes.

"No smoking." Zoro looked at him calm, why was he so fucking calm?! "If you're panicking, grab one of those damn paper bags, drawer at the bottom left." He nodded over to their doctor's desk.

Sanji looked at him, looked at their crew's swordsman, the first mate, the captain's right hand. His vision blurred.

"If you start bawling now, I'll throw you out."

"Not that you could," Sanji grumbled in a brittle voice, turning away, a huge lump in his neck and actually almost crying.

"Oh, that was below the belt, really hurt."

Sanji looked up in shock. He hadn't meant it like that, he hadn't meant to actually hurt the other, not right now, not in this situation.

"Oh wait, not like I can feel that anymore." A crooked grin crept onto the swordsman's narrow lips.

"Stop it!" Sanji was caught between laughter and crying, wiping away the tears. This stupid idiot! "How can you just joke about it? Dammit! Fuck! What a fucking hell!"

"Indeed." And now Zoro was suddenly serious again. "What a fucking hell."

For a moment they were calm. There were no noises from the room next door.

"Well, why did Luffy lose his cool?" Sanji finally asked.

Zoro looked at him.

"I'm sure you already guessed it, right?"

Sanji bit his lip. Of course, he knew what had happened. He was not an idiot - even if the mosshead would claim otherwise - he could only imagine too well how their conversation had gone. Slowly, he leaned back.

"But he's right, isn't he?"

Zoro raised only an eyebrow.

"No. You know Luffy is wrong."

He leaned forward as well, supporting his body with one hand. Sanji wondered if he would lose his balance if he didn't.

"Cook, don't be an idiot. Of course, this is nothing I want. Of course, I would rather do nothing else than to pursue my dream. But I can't do that anymore."

How could Zoro say that just like this, just this calm, this matter of factly? Sanji, on the other hand, could already feel his eyes hurting even more.

"I can't fight anymore. Unlike you or Nami, this was the only skill I could contribute to our crew. From now on, I will not only no longer be any help, but an additional burden. Face the truth, cook, you knew it all along. Like it or not, it's time for me to leave this crew."