(During Episode 04)
(See the end for Notes)
Part IV - Where I can find you
Cuddling on the couch couldn't last forever and they almost put themselves in an awkward situation with Sam. Thanks to all the silence around and Bucky's good ears, they didn't.
When Sam walked back into the living room, Bucky was in the middle of a drink, still in the couch, and Zemo was at the counter, preparing something that Sam didn't pay attention to.
- Got something? - Bucky asked.
- Nothing. - Sam replied while siting at the table in the other side of the room, openning the notebook. - I'm going to check with Sharon again or maybe the web gives a clue.
- Right. I'll give a little more time and go next check outside again.
...
Sam couldn't see that coming. He would doubt if the best choice was the other men arguing or non-stop-talking topics that had nothing to do with "the mission".
...
Zemo didn't stop what he was doing in the counter when he uttered for Bucky:
- May I ask... why did you chose Romania to hide after that incident with Hydra and SHIELD?
- I didn't knew at that time, I thought it was almost random. But now I know why. I have romanian heritage, my grandparents came from there to US when my mother was still young, they taught me the language and always told me many stories from there. - Sam tried to understand from where a "calm Bucky" came from, but kept quiet to see to where this was going.
- So, you have eastern european blood as well...
- That's why the culture and languages spoken in this part of continent became so familiar and easy for me, yet Romania has predominance of latin in it's language, not slavic... wich sounds weird, being surrounded by slavic contries and the balkans... I guess I skiped the History Classes...
- There's still divergent arguments about Romania and it's diversificated culture, many unconsider as a slavic or balkan because it's language roots, many judge by it's geographic location and some specif points of it's culture, so it's balkan. But serbian and ukrainian are spoken there too.
- What's the point?
- Very prominent languages of my country, together with sokovian itself, russian and german. Мені прикро, що ми не зможемо возитися із Семом, промовляючи щось із цього, а не цього разу. *(I'm sad that we won't be able to mess with Sam by speaking some of this, not this time.) - Zemo started in ukrainian, waiting for what could be Bucky's answer about that.
- Не знаю, чи збирався він точно переживати чи злитися. Ми не маємо часу на жарти, але було б добре, якби мали. *(I don't know if he was going to be worried for sure or get pissed. We have no time for jokes, but would be good if we had.) - For the baron's surprise, Bucky was in.
- Я можу звикнути до цього, ти говориш прекрасно, Джеймсе. *(I can get used to this, you speak beautiful, James.)
- Він все ще нас слухає, Земо. *(He's still listening to us, Zemo.)
- Чи можу я турбуватися? *(May I concern?)
- Судячи з його обличчя ... Я справді намагаюся не сміятися. *(Judging by his face... I'm trying hard not laugh, really.)
- Судячи з вашого обличчя, це не спрацює занадто довго, шановний. *(Judging by your face, this won't work for too long, dear.)
- Стривай, як ти мене покликав? *(Wait, what did you called me?)
- Ти червонієш. Просто кажу. *(You're blushing. Just saying.)
- Це ніяково! Я не ... просто ... *(It's embarassing! I'm not... just...)
- Не використовується? *(Not used?)
- Зовсім не. *(Not at all.)
- Вам не подобається? (Do you dislike?)
- Ну ... ні. *(Well... no.)
- YOU GUYS REALLY SUCKS TOGETHER, C'MON, STOP THIS SHIT! ARE YOU FLIRTING OR FIGHTING?! - Sam's loud voice came from the other side of the living room, so annoyed at that point.
- We're just remembering some of the languages we do have in common. - Taking the whisky bottle, Zemo crossed the space between the counter and the couch, serving again Bucky's empty cup.
- Мислите ли да ће приметити ако променимо језик, драги Џејмс? *(Do you think he will notice if we change the language, dear James?) - This time, Zemo's words came in serbian.
- Од украјинском на српском, ни на који начин. *(From Ukrainian to Serbian, no way.)
- Do you really want to keep it going?! If you want to fuck so bad, no need to talking shit in any language while I'm here, just get yourselves a bedroom! - And for the first time in maybe all their friendship, Sam could watch Bucky burst in laughter.
- The man that's always telling me to chill out and relax and talk a bit more...
###
They took serious Sam's advice, but not when he was around. The Falcon didn't see when the soldier and the baron went for the bedroom. They actually wanted one last moment to fall asleep together, less than two hours and everything would be broken, probably forever.
They got much more than they expected, even five minutes of fun with no tension. Now, laying on the bed, sleeping was not how they gone. What they embraced was one more time to feel the other in complete intimacy, holding in memory every kiss and touch, every shape of the other's body and how they fit in every part of their skins.
Them both would, eventually, realize that this time was so different from the ones in Sharon's party. Like they really belong together, like that was not new and they were used to love each other.
...
Pieces of life were falling down all over the place.
...
Bucky didn't care about the cold ambient temperature and even then he was carefully wrapped in the blanket with the Baron, caressed gently against the other body, feeling pampered. And he treasured that.
- I'm glad that I can cherish you with me for a moment in a lifetime, James... and if time was not an enemy by now... I could even pretend that I deserve to keep you with me...
Bucky no longer knew what he was willing to admit and did not want to hear that someone he needed to lose, wanted to remain as the person who could have had this done and just didn't do.
- You're clever and brilliant, torn apart the Avengers all by yourself, using nothing but your mind. I'm a crazy (and sometimes dumb) man with strength. So what can I offer at all?
- You can't be this insecure just because someone didn't value you in the last moment. - Zemo didn't need to hear everything, was all in the soldier's eyes and how the pain easily shows in his voice. - You don't see yourself under the light. Crazy and dumb, yes. But far from being stupid. You saw the world changing by over a century, you were in the middle of one of the most advanced organization wich almost ruled the world...
- Did you remember that SHIELD and lots of people, governments, tried for decades to find and destroy Hydra and they couldn't, was Hydra's itself that took the wrong decision to expose. Yet thanks to Romanoff, YOU took only one year to find and understand everything about Hydra and how it worked, took the control of their most powerful weapon and dismantle what was left of the organization WHILE you were doing the same to the Avengers. You didn't put down one Empire, you put down TWO at the same time. I feel stupid when I think about it. - Bucky tried hard to change de directions before he had to listen more of Zemo's feelings, because he wanted that feelings so bad and couldn't help knowing they do exist and must to be stolen from his life.
- Was a sucession of incidents since they send you to kill Nick Fury that gave me the pieces to do that...
- The same pieces were given to thousands or millions, but you were the only who took them and used them. Could have been a lot of these people with superpowers or a high developed structute like Wakanda or governements with armies and systems of intelligence and spying like USA itself, but wasn't. Was only ONE man with an impressive determination and brain who did.
- I don't know why did you start this subject, but it doesn't make you neither stupid or only a powerful weapon. Pay attention to the words you're using for describing yourself. Didn't anyone pointed this?
- I never did talk to one more than the strictly necessary most of time. I talk such things with you only.
- For someone with trust issues , don't you think you're going too far with the person that you shouldn't?
- I already went too far with you a little time ago...
- So... Since we're talking about Hydra, you know that I only delay them a little. Is ingenuous to think that such strong and settled organization with associates all around the world is over.
- Supramacists, as you say. Your concept is actually right. Conquerors. I want them down, to fall and never rise again... I went from a fight to another fight my whole life, but was not MY fights. I guess now I'm going on for the same road... maybe for the rest of my life, but at least, is my fight.
- Is not the Avengers fight?
- The left members of Avengers are my... "friends", or something. But I'm not depending on them to go on with this, I'm fighting with whoever can help. It includes you, if you don't do anything stupid to put yourself in check.
- I won't ask you to trust me personally, I can't ask such thing from you, but... count on me with any and everything about this. This is my work. I already told I'm not leaving this unfinished. I'm patient, no matter how long it takes, I'm on it.
- The Super Soldier are the first and biggest part of your work. Why you didn't answer Sam's question about me?
- I already told it too. All of the other with the serum, every and each of them, wanted power. No matter their reasons, they wanted, they chose. And except by Steve Rogers, all of them were sooner or later, corrupted by this power. Some of them less, a lot of them more. You saw this happening with the ones from Siberia project.
- I did, and?
- You were the only who never wished power, who never had any choice and you are the living person with the serum in your body for the longest time. You already had time enough to be corrupted too... but you didn't. You're probably the same dumb you were before the serum, but with many problems of an old man.
- Oh, thank you.
- It's true, James. You cannot be the same that you were before the war, but you're not only the powerful weapon. You have it, but you're not it. That's why you're so terrible at using yourself.
- What?
- You could have beaten up all the Flag Smashers by yourself alone... if was your old self. Because that one didn't care about how much strenght to use or people getting hurted and dying. For someone who knows how you were used to fight, you look weak now. Because you are carefull, and being carefull is part of your intrinsec values. Finding a ballance between your values and your strenght is discovering who you are now and what's your own code and morals.
- Shouldn't be you the person allowed to deal with my inner questions...
- You allowed me some hours ago...
- That's right. What more do you have to say about this last topic?
- Your anxiety didn't came exactly by the PTSD... is recent, isn't it?
- How the hell can you know this?
- Observing.
- I got the anxiety after... after he left.
"Steve Rogers, even if I don't like you, you should be here helping your boyfriend go through his disorder until he get over it... why did you left?"
- There's something I can do to help with this? Time is rushing, only a little moment is left, but... I'm not sure, maybe there's something.
- Yeah, I want you to do something for me...
- Anything if I may.
- If or when they come for you, no matter "who"... please, run. Just run. I'll find a way to mess things out, so run. If you don't, I'm afraid that I won't be able to see you again. - The soldier finally let go what was disturbing him so much, not trying to run out the things anymore, there was no place to run about losing someone again.
- I'll go. But not too far, or else you won't find me anyway.
- Then go to where I can find you, for somewhere that makes sense for me but not for the others.
- I already told you where. You will know to where you'll have to go. Even if it's just... to say goodbye.
Bucky grabbed his arms tight around Zemo, didn't intend letting him go, not anymore, yet he needed. Couldn't let him go, but was the only way for not really losing him. Not seeing him end up killed.
"I never expected that I would break because of you. In so little time, my enemy no more. But wasn't you, until now, who decided to hurt me. I could even believe that you want to stay where I am. I can't be so naive..."
###
When Bucky watched John Walker rise with the blooded shield, terrified he realized that he needed to bring to surface his old self, he needed to find that point Zemo was talking about, a self-conscious Winter Soldier. Also, he knew if Zemo would be left to be found, Walker would definitively murder him.
"If I let you die, I won't be able to forgive myself. If I really can find you where you are supposed to be, my broken heart will be gratefull forever for you not abandoning me, even when this can coasts the most precious thing one should have... their own freedom."
###
Notes: The Ukrainian and Serbian languages were spoken in Sokovia according to MCU. As well, in real life they may found being spoken in north and west Romania's borders, respectively.
I don't speak serbian and my ukrainian is so poor that I had to use Google, sorry.
I still couldn't watch Episode 05, working so much that I chose to watch when I got time to really pay attention. I decided to edit this chapter, that was already done since Tursday 15, before watching, because it bothered me a lot leaving an unfinished work.
Yet, I took my position about this story - no matter what's going to happen in the series, IF I have enough return, after the show ending, I'm going to take my own view and create events that fits in a sequence.