Drift POV
Crosshairs and I decided to watch T.V. with Jamie in her room tonight. As usual, she's on her phone as we watch T.V. I try to relax, but I just know she's going to end up crying.
I hate how I'm right, and how Jamie was watching T.V. the past ten minutes before Crosshairs, and I hear her whimpering.
I ask her what's wrong as Crosshairs turns on the light. Of course, Jamie won't answer and is trying not to cry. I move to the edge of the bed with Jamie on my lap. She hugs me and lets herself cry. Crosshairs sits next to me; I know he hates there's nothing he can do right now. I let her cry for a few minutes, failing to realize it's likely the others hear her.
Optimus opens the door enough to see what's going in but quickly closes the door.
I wait a few minutes before I try to get Jamie to talk.
"What's wrong? I don't like how you won't tell us anything."
"Come on, you know we want to help you," Crosshairs insists.
"What can you do?" Jamie sobs, "no human wants to talk to me, and I know it's partly my fault for being too shy to talk to them to the point I have bad anxiety."
I fear there's more she's not telling us since she thinks we can't help her.
Crosshairs POV
Optimus texted me to keep him updated. Drift knows that's why I'm texting as he comforts Jamie. I hate I'm the one deciding, but I tell Prime he can come in. Everyone will want to show Jamie we love and care about her, but she's not going to like knowing how many friends are watching her cry.
Optimus walks in and takes Jamie from Drift. Neither Drift nor Jamie care, and Jamie continues to cry while Prime hugs her close.
How long have you been avoiding crying?
I see Sunstreaker by the door, not liking what he's seeing.
"Out," I whisper.
"I want to help," he whispers.
"Not now," I tell him and shove him out the door, which might come back to me later. I know Prime is trying to get Jamie to calm down before saying anything. He tries what Drift does to calm her down while standing up. Drift feels bad he can't calm Jamie down.
"I stayed away from her for too long," Drift says sadly.
"I don't think she wouldn't be crying right now if we were with her the past three months."
Optimus Prime POV
This is all the times she kept herself from crying, all the emotional and mental pain she's been feeling. I don't think she knows I'm holding her or that Crosshairs and Drift are in the room. While it hurts to hear Jamie crying like this, I'm happy she is while we're here to calm her down. I wait a few minutes, but I don't think she's calming down. I have her look at me.
"Jamie, listen to me; you know how much we love and care about you."
I want to know what is on her mind, but I need to get her to calm down.
"Let me take her," Drift insists.
I let him take Jamie and watch him sit on the bed before leaving the room.
The others are waiting in the hallway by the room. They know what's been going on. I hate telling them we're having a hard time getting Jamie to calm down. They don't agree with my decision not to let them help or that Crosshairs left the room.
"Drift is going to see if a bath will help. I've never seen her cry like this before, and it's not the first time she's cried while Drift and I are with her," Crosshairs explains.
Drift POV
I'd rather not do this while Jamie is distraught and unable to answer me, but this should help her.
I like the bath bombs humans have made. I have a few for relaxing. Now that I think about it, I should have gotten Jamie into taking baths with these a long time ago. Also, a bath is good for her back.
Jamie is slowly calming down as I leave her laying on the bed as I prepare the tub.
"Let's try a calming bath," I suggest.
Jamie is calm enough to be aware of what I'm doing and tell me if she wants to or not. I'm glad she wants to try a relaxing bath. I got her to laugh a little when I said I wouldn't get in the tub with her. I don't care that she didn't give me permission to get in the tub with her. At least she's not bothered I'll be seeing her nude. I don't want to leave her alone for now.
"Alright, this should get you to relax," I tell Jamie as I put her in the tub. I hate I see the sadness in her eyes.
Hopefully, this will get you to relax and fall asleep. Maybe I can get you to tell me the rest of what's bothering you tomorrow.
I know it'll mean more crying, but I don't think I can avoid my girl crying in the near future, even if I don't try to get her to talk.
Crosshairs is the only one waiting by the door as I walk out a half-hour later.
"She fell asleep in the tub, exactly what I was hoping would happen," I tell him, "I put her to bed."
Crosshairs takes me by the wrist and leads me to my room.
We sit on my bed, and Crosshairs hugs me. I can't keep myself from crying.
"I hate the sadness I saw in her eyes," I sob, "I've never seen that before, even during her previous depressed periods."
"We've been through this several times before; even though this is the worst, you have to believe she'll get through this," Crosshairs tries to comfort me.
"No...it was like she's dead inside."
Crosshairs POV
I know how he's feeling, I saw it in her eyes as well, but Jamie goes through this several times a year. Add she's been trying to talk to people and make friends, adding to her anxiety. He knows I agree with him, Sunstreaker and Prime. This is a complicated situation. I hate watching Jamie be so distraught, and I don't think she'll end this adventure, but I don't agree with her not talking to humans in her dimension.
My turn to get Drift to relax. I could suggest a bath like he did for Jamie and leave him alone, but I want to make sure he gets to sleep. He decides to take a bath; I leave the room to talk to Prime.
Ratchet and Prime are talking about how we can possibly help Jamie.
"I fear this is going to be more frequent," Ratchet frets.
"It's going to take time to get Jamie to stop separating her dimension and the others, to understand she has many friends. However, I don't want her to stop trying to make friends in her dimension," Optimus explains, " I just wish I knew what we can do to help her."
"Can we even help her considering how old she is?" I ask.
"That's partly why I'm saying she should forget it," Sunstreaker jumps in, "and it's already hard knowing how much emotional and mental pain she's in. I hate how much more was added the past three months."
"I just don't know which way is right health-wise," Ratchet regrets.
I'm not sure what else to add to this conversation. I go back to my room for an hour.
I knock on the door and hear a depressed 'come in.' Not sure how long Drift has been out of the tub, but he's in nef listening to a depressing song.
How many times have you listened to this song?
If they say
Who cares if one more light goes out?
In the sky of a million stars
It flickers, flickers
Who cares when someone's time runs out?
If a moment is all we are
Or quicker, quicker
Who cares if one more light goes out?
Well I do
A powerful song that, like many other things around depression, did nothing.
Just 'cause you can't see it doesn't mean it, isn't there.
I walk towards the bed and see tears rolling down Drift's face.
"She'll be ok," I assure him as I sit on my knees by the bed. I know he wants to be in Jamie's room, but it's not a good idea while in a depressed mood, "you want me to stay in her room tonight?"
"No," he replies in a sad tone as more tears roll down his face.
"I doubt she'll wake up in the middle of the night, but she should be ok with me being with her."
Drift sighs and rolls over. I'll take that as a yes.
I turn off the music and leave the room.
I hate I have to tell Prime about this though I'm not sure what he'll be able to do.
I hate how much my two best friends are struggling.
I'm not sleeping tonight. I sit at Jamie's desk, thinking about how I could help her until I hear Jamie snoring. It's an odd way to know she's dreaming. I hope it's a happy dream.
With that, I go to sit in Drift's room for a while. He's the one I'm worried about.