Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Star Wars Story. Just a fan wanting to write.

Chapter 4

"NO… mummy!" I scream.

I am in a nightmare… a familiar nightmare depicting the day I became Empress Palpatine. I was five when they came for me… the day my parents were murdered, and I was taken to Snoke. I am reliving this again. It's happened so many times before.

I glance to my left looking on the floor of Ochi's ship. There lay my father's corpse, his throat had been slashed. The blood formed a puddle on the floors beneath his body. A high-pitched scream leaves my lips as I reach for my mother.

"Mummy" I scream, tears flowing down my small fragile face.

Ochi holds me back grasping my shoulder and I struggle against his grip to get close to her. He was threatening her. I didn't pay attention to the things he was saying then, my sole focus on getting free from him and running to my mother. But now I wished I had heard the things he had said to her. She looked so frightened, but not for herself rather the same child he was holding away from her, her daughter.

This nightmare would end shortly, it always does. I fight and scream, crying desperately for my mother. Until he is about to stab her with his blade several times. A total of 11 to be exact. I have counted it in my dream, the number never changes.

I watch him plunge in his blade then pull it back out, repeating the process over and over again.

"NO" I cry harder realizing she would die… realizing I would be losing both of my parents.

My mother is hunched over leaning against Ochi. She no longer had the strength to hold herself up. But I remember the stare she gave him in her final moments, a murderous one… I have that same look.

As he removes the blade one last time, he moves away allowing her to drop to the ground. She is clutching her abdomen that was now covered in blood.

Ochi then releases his grasp on my shoulder, and I run over to her. This was the last time I saw her. Her face was unnaturally pale, and she was shaking.

"Mummy" I quietly cry. I didn't know what to do. I was only a small child, so I try to help her stop the blood. I remember my memories of this moment. I remember thinking if the blood would stop, she wouldn't die. I was wrong. I take my small delicate hand and place it over one of her many wounds. The blood still seeped out.

She takes her hand away from her abdomen and places her bloody palm on my tiny cheek.

"Rey my love… be brave. Don't let them change who you are… my beautiful… strong… girl" she has a hard time getting out the words. She was slipping away. Her cold palm still on my face. I can see her lips beginning to turn blue.

"So full of the light… don't give in to darkness" she whispers.

I realize now what she meant then. She knew exactly who I was… who I would become if I gave in. I constantly wonder if I would have been a disappointment to her. I had given in to the darkness after all. But the question had always been had I given in or was I forced?

Her hand drops from my cheek and I knew that she was gone. I throw my body on top of hers and continue to sob. The small white and tan robes that I was wearing now stained bright red… from my mother's blood.

After a few moments had passed I felt the rage well up inside me. I jump to my feet and turn to my enemy… the murderous monster who had just killed my parents. To me as a child, he looked like a snake. He frightened me when I met him, but now after he took my parents from me, I was no longer afraid. I wanted to kill this creature… It was the first time I wanted to harm anyone.

I charged at him. As little as I was then, it didn't stop me from jumping on him. I scream at him as I cling to his small stature.

"I hate you. I HATE YOU" I pound my tiny fist against his face. I was doing nothing to him.

His hands lift up reaching and grabbing just underneath my arms and he launches me away from his body. I half expect to slam hard onto the floor of his ship, but I don't hit anything.

I am falling, and I am no longer a child but as my grown self. I can see nothing, everything is black… darkness surrounding me. My breathing becomes panicked, and my heart is racing. I haven't experienced this in my nightmare before, this is something new. I hear my own hoarse fearful cry as I fall into nothingness.

Suddenly I smack hard into water. I feel my body being dragged down deep below the surface from such a high fall. As I begin to slow down, I reposition my body and attempt to swim up to the surface for air… but I can't. Something is stopping me… holding me down. I feel trapped. I look down to see who could be doing this… but nothing is there. No one is holding me.

The bubbles escape my lips and float up in front of my face as I swim harder… faster… desperately trying to get to the surface to the bright light above me. I am running out of air, and it becomes harder to swim.

I feel the release and I paddle my arms as fast as I could. I break the surface and gasp for air having been under the water for what felt like eternity.

I look at my surroundings and I am in a dark cavern, the source of light I tried to swim to came from a small circular entrance above me. I see the moon above, the light it gives off helps to calm me.

My breathing has slowed, and I start to swim to the edge of the water, but my arms and legs feel 50 pounds heavier than they normally did having struggled to get to the surface.

My hands reach up to the elevated rocky surface and I pull my body up. I lay down on the hard floor. I didn't feel like I could move. I needed to stop. I close my eyes; I was so exhausted.

I continue to lay there but I begin to feel water dropping on my face. Please don't throw me back underneath the water. I jolt my eyes open, but I am not in the water but instead laying in a vast open space in the night, rain falling hard and lightening striking in the distance.

I use my arm and push my body off the ground so that I am standing. It was so hard to see with the rain falling around me.

Behind me I hear the familiar ignite of the saber. I twist my body around to see who it was, but I didn't have a chance.

I jolt awake in my bed, sitting up gasping for breath. I throw the covers off to the side running for the washroom. I felt so nauseous, I always did after witnessing their murder. But with the added exhaustion of struggle in the water, I needed to throw up.

I make it just in time. I hadn't eaten much that day, so I only throw up acidic bile. It burns my throat.

I stand up composing myself, one hand wiping my mouth the other clutching my stomach as I exit the bathroom.

You've looked better

Oh god. Did he hear me puking my guts out? My cheeks begin to redden in embarrassment.

"I've felt better" I reply. My eyes glance down at my feet. I felt nauseous all over again.

You tore your stitching

I see him motion at my side where the medic had stitched me from Vicrul's wound. He was right, the stitching had ripped open at some point while I slept.

I look over to my bed. It had been completely turned upside down probably from thrashing around as I attempted to swim in my nightmare. I see the spots of blood stain the once pristine white sheets.

"Apparently" I say.

I walk back into the bathroom grabbing a small towel placing it against my hip to wipe away the blood.

I look at him… really look at him. He looks tired, the dark circles under his eyes have grown larger than the last time I saw him. His robes look dirtier and his hair a little more dishevelled. However, he still has a calm composure about him.

"You look tired" I question him.

He doesn't break his glance away from mine. He ignores my remark moving on to something else.

You had a nightmare

How did he know this? I would have notice him in my quarters the second I jumped out of my bed running to the washroom… he wasn't there then. I look at him confused.

"How…" I couldn't finish my sentence before he interrupted me.

I sensed your panic

My eyes widen with frustration. He can't be able to feel my emotions through the force. It was impossible for the force to connect us. The first time I met him, I was meant to kill him. If I can't stop this connection… Snoke would find out. I attempt to push him away, and out of my head.

You want me to leave?

"You can't be in my head" I quietly say.

I don't mean too

"You just admitted that you sensed my panic from my nightmare. Are you saying the force just magically brought you here or did you attempt to find me?" I ask him.

Ben's eyes shift sideways away from my infuriated stare. He doesn't respond and he gulps at my words.

"That's what I thought" I say.

The nausea had subsided, but my mouth felt dry and foul. I push past him walking around to grab my water off of my workbench. I clench the cup in my hand before bringing it up to my mouth for a drink.

"Snoke already wants you dead. If he figures out your somehow… we are connected through the force… he won't stop until he kills us both" I tell him.

I turn around to face him after putting down my water. My hands reach behind me and grip the edge of the work bench. I felt concern for him… for Ben Solo, a man who is supposed to be my enemy. I have felt the wrath of Snoke, he was merciless. Even if Ben was my enemy, I wouldn't wish that pain and torture against him.

Then don't let him find out

I let out an annoyed laugh to his response, rolling my eyes at him. It was hard enough to hide things from the interrogation from my knights let alone keep anything from Snoke. I wonder if he was stronger than I was… maybe he would be able to keep out Snoke if he wanted.

"I have a training session with my knights tomorrow" I say.

You mean an interrogation

"That seems like the more appropriate term… yes"

You can't keep them out

Ben was questioning my ability with the force. I should be able to keep them out, but I can't seem to build the wall strong enough. I was shuddering thinking about how I am confirming my weakness with him. He now knows that if he were to press hard enough, he could break my barrier.

"I can actually… just not entirely when they all attempt to pick apart my brain" I reply. I quickly realize my lapse in judgement of who I was conversing with.

"Why am I telling you this" I ask him angrily. I wasn't angry at him, but rather myself for divulging such privy information.

I don't know why, you probably shouldn't

"Will you use this against me? You're probably as strong as all of them combined… If you get the chance, do you plan on picking my mind apart Ben Solo?" I question. I was serious, it was a question I wanted an answer to.

I don't think I'll need to

He wouldn't have to because I was already giving away secretes… telling him too much.

Something has happened and I feel a slight disturbance in the force. He twists his body quickly looking behind him, but I wasn't sure at what as my visual of him is in my quarters.

Don't use your rage to keep them out…

Ben is no longer here. He has disappeared again. But something about the way he had left me worried. Something had… or was happening wherever he was.