Remember To Look Up At The Clouds At A Picnic, You Might See A Kunai
Rated M
For their third date, about a week after their second, Tsukuyo turned up at his doorstep carrying two medium sized bento boxes and a sheepish smile. What she hadn't expected was for Sadaharu to open the door for her with one of his giant paws and lick her face when she walked in.
"Sadaharu, Gin-chan says you have to stop trying to eat the guests, uh-huh. It's bad for business!" Kagura called out from the sitting room.
The young red haired girl and Shinpachi were dozing on the sofas with sleepy eyes but they smiled warmly at Tsukuyo as she came into the room.
"Ah, Tsukki!" Kagura smiled at her.
"Tsukuyo-san," Shinpachi said with a yawn, "Morning."
"It's err...gone midday..." she replied as she put down the boxes onto the table. "Is err...this a bad time?" she asked, looking around the room but saw no sign of Gintoki.
"Sorry, we had a long few days...and nights," the young samurai said and sat up.
"A job?"
"Hmmm," he nodded.
"Oh..."
"A kid went missing," Kagura explained.
"Turns out he was kidnapped by his own father," Shinpachi sighed. "And held hostage for a week. When we found the little boy last night he was pretty badly hurt and the Shinsengumi arrested his dad. The kid's in hospital. I think...Gin-san blames himself for not finding the boy before he got hurt...y'know."
"But...Gin-chan couldn't have done anything. We only got the job two days ago and the kid had been gone for a week," Kagura exclaimed.
"Yeah...but you know what he's like," Shinpachi sighed.
"Stupid Gin-chan," Kagura yelled.
"He's still asleep..." the young samurai said, "Kagura-chan, don't shout..."
"Oi...what's all the noise," Gintoki drawled, sleepily as the door to his bedroom slid open. "I told you guys...don't disturb me even if another war breaks out..." he was kneeling on the floor, dressed in his pyjamas and his eyes were barely open. "Huh?" he looked up and rubbed his tired eyes, "Tsukuyo?"
"Err...hi..." she said, sheepishly. "Sorry, I didn't realise this was a bad time, I'll come back tomorrow. I should'a called first..."
"Eh? What're you talking about? Why would you need to call? You got a job for us? Sorry, we're taking a few days off. Actually, you can come join me if you want a nap..." he suggested.
"I err..."
"Whatever this is, it smells good, uh-huh," Kagura declared, sniffing at the two bento boxes on the table and Sadaharu nodded in agreement as he too sniffed them.
"Oh...err...one's for ya guys," Tsukuyo blushed and handed Kagura one of the boxes.
"Food?" Kagura's blue eyes lit up and Tsukuyo nodded. "Free food?" the girl asked and Tsukuyo nodded again. "Waaa...Tsukki's the best!" Kagura exclaimed.
"This is for Sahadaru..." Tsukuyo mumbled, embarrassed as she took out a fairly large wrapped pouch from her sleeve.
"Wait...food? You cooked? You can't cook," Gintoki yawned.
"I err...didn't. Hinowa did...most of it..." she admitted.
"Whoooaaaa..." Shinpachi exclaimed. He'd moved to sit beside Kagura on the other sofa and they took off the lid to reveal the beautifully made food inside.
"Here, Sadaharu," Kagura tipped the food from the pouch into the metal bowl. "We eat like kings today, uh-huh!" she grinned.
"I'll get the chopsticks!" Shinpachi ran off to the kitchen, suddenly feeling energised.
"You guys woke up fast," Gintoki mumbled.
"I err...thought...we could go for a...a picnic...since it's my turn to pick err..." Tsukuyo said to him. "But I figured it'd be rude not to bring food for everyone...so...I err...don't really know the surface very well so I don't know anywhere we could go. An' if ya had a long night then I can come back some other time an'..."
"I know a place," he said, interrupting her.
"ITADAKIMASU!" both Shinpachi and Kagura yelled eagerly a moment later when he returned from the kitchen.
"Waaa...sooo good..." Shinpachi said with a dazed look on his face.
"Tsukki and Hinowa-chan are the best! Gin-chan, don't screw this up!" Kagura said with a mouthful of food. "Seriously, don't screw this up! Really don't!" she added, glaring at him.
"Shut it, brat," he grumbled.
"Shinpachi..." Kagura said, still chewing. "If Gin-chan screws this up, you can date Tsukki, right? Or Hinowa-chan? Then we can eat this good all the time uh-huh."
"I...I...I can't do that!" Shinpachi exclaimed, embarrassed.
"Damn right he can't, he's not a toy boy," Gintoki glared at the young samurai.
"Eeehhhhhhh?!"
"Erm..." Tsukuyo blushed awkwardly, not knowing exactly what to say to that.
"You're not a cougar, are you?" Gintoki asked her.
"W...w...what?!" she yelled, "'Course I ain't!"
"Looks like you're outta luck, Patsuan," Gintoki said to him, smugly.
"W...I...err..." the young samurai stammered.
"Go find your own girl," the silver haired samurai yawned and scrubbed a hand through his hair. "A real one, not an idol," he added.
"W...w...w..." Shinpachi continued to stammer, "B...but...Tsukuyo-san...isn't really my type...not that she's not a nice person, I mean...I just mean..."
"Gin-chan," Kagura began sounding perfectly childlike. "Isn't Ketsuno Ana kind of an idol?" she asked.
"Idiot, she's the weather girl," he snapped, "Not an idol. There's a difference."
"Ooohhhhh," she nodded.
"B...but...you still have a crush on her!" Shinpachi yelled at him.
"All men have a crush on the weather girl at some point in their lives," he said.
"Eh?" Tsukuyo blinked.
"Err...I mean..." Gintoki stopped and then looked up at through remembering that she was standing there. "Err...hi Tsukki..." he muttered and closed his eyes. "I'm sleep talking, ignore anything I say..." he said in a half asleep sounding voice.
"IDIOT!" she yelled and threw a kunai at him.
"WAAAAA!" he yelled and he was thrown, tumbling back into his room from the angry force of the kunai.
"Gin-chan's dead," Kagura said, disinterested.
A moment later, after pulling out the kunai from his foreahead and with a trail of blood slowly making it way down his face, Gintoki stumbled to the bedroom door and looked at Tsukuyo. "So, a picnic huh?" he asked as though she hadn't just attacked him.
"Why don't ya go on a picnic with the weather girl?" she asked and crossed her arms.
"Why would I wanna do that? She's not the one who came to ask me, is she?"
"So ya would if she was?"
"That's not what I meant! Argh, I'm too tired for this, my brain isn't awake yet," he said, resting his head in one hand.
"Ya brain's never awake," she retorted.
"Ouch," he grumbled. "It's not like it's illegal for a guy to have a crush on a pretty girl, is it? And I've been watching her morning show for years waaay before I even met you...and why I am even having this discussion? What are you even mad about? Gimme a hint, I'm really damn tired here..."
"Tsukki's jealous, uh-huh," Kagura declared.
"Eehhhh? How'd you know that?" Shinpachi asked her.
"I watch a lot of tv," she shrugged, "On tv, if a guy says something like that, his girlfriend always gets jealous, uh-huh. Tv says so. And Tsukki is Gin-chan's girlfriend, isn't she?"
"Err..." Tsukuyo stammered.
"So, you're jealous, huh? Why didn't you just say so?" Gintoki sealed with a grin.
"I...I'm not..." she exclaimed, flushing a bright shade of red.
"Guys like it when girls get jealous, y'know...unless you're gonna kill me...oiiiii...put down the kunai! Don't...waaaa!" he yelled before she threw another kunai at him and he just about managed to duck out of the way. "Geez, when you get jealous you really flip, huh," he grumbled.
"I AIN'T JEALOUS!"
"Sure you're not," he rolled his eyes, "Anyway, just relax, all guys get crushes on women on tv. Like Shinpachi and his stupid obsession with Otsu-chan, it's harmless."
"OIIII! Don't mock my genuine, genuine love for Otsu-chan!" Shinpachi yelled, indignantly.
"Its creepy, uh-huh," Kagura told him, matter of factly.
"So is Gin-san's crush on the weather girl!" he retorted, "And it's not creepy!"
"Will you stop bringing that up!" Gintoki yelled back. Then he was forced to duck again when Tsukuyo threw a third kunai at him. "And will you stop throwing those at me?!" he exclaimed, "I get it, already. You're jealous, geez. But I'm not going out with the weather girl, am I?
"G...going out..." she repeated, still flushed red.
"Exactly, so just calm down already."
"D'ya mean...goin' out today for a picnic or goin' out as in..." Tsukuyo mumbled quietly.
"Both, I guess, aren't we?"
"Oh..."
"Well, that's what you call it, isn't it?"
"Err...I guess..." she replied, "Not like I'd know."
"Unless you'd rather I went out with her and you could be my concubine," he mocked.
"That's never gonna happen! I'm no one's concubine! I'm the Shinigami Tayuu, damn it!"
"Mistress, then?"
"That's the same thing!"
"Waaa...you and Ketsuno Ana...now that'd be a really, really...OIIIII!" he yelled, avoiding another volley of kunai. "Fine, fine, I surrender! I surrender! Please don't kill me, Tayuu!" he yelled. "Fine, I promise I won't watch her on tv at a low angle anymore! No more low angle! I promise!" he said, with his hands over his head.
"Why're ya watching it a low angle anyway, ya jerk?"
"Low angle is ways best!" he insisted.
"Do I even wanna know why?" she asked, exasperated.
"Probably not. You'll just throw more kunai at me. How many of those do you even have? Are you all out now? Oh...wait, right, you're a walking armoury, so you've probably got more."
"Yup, still got more," she said, smugly and crossed her arms.
"Nice Tsukki," Gintoki said, mocking and patted her head tentatively.
"I ain't a dog," she grumbled.
"Nice Tsukki," he repeated.
"Cut it out," Tsukuyo snapped.
"Still wanna go out today?" he asked after a grin.
"Eh?"
"For a picnic," he clarified.
"Ain't gonna ditch me f'the weather girl, are ya?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.
"You're never gonna let me forget this. And no, I'm not," he sighed. He walked back into his room, retrieved her kunai that she'd thrown at him from where they'd lodged in the walls and then handed them back to her. "And if you think I'm that kind of a jerk, what're you even doing here?" he asked, "D'you really think I'm that low?"
"No..." she admitted, pursing her lip and turned away.
"Good to know," he said. "'Cause I could do with a nice day out after the crappy night I've had," he said, stretching his arms above his head.
"If ya were that kind of a jerk, I'd just kill ya," Tsukuyo remarked.
"And people say I'm violent," Gintoki said, sarcastically. "Alright I get it, you get jealous easy. I'd say it was kinda sexy if you didn't just threaten to kill me."
"I..."
"And as much as I love pyjamas, I don't think I should go out in them," he said, looking at his green pyjamas.
"Err...no..." she agreed.
"I'll get dressed," he said. He then gave a chaste kiss and turned back into his bedroom and closed the door.
Tsukuyo sat down on the empty sofa and watched the two young Yorozuya members as they pretended to act as though they hadn't just been watching them and listening intently to every word. They were gobbling down the food gracelessly, and loudly declaring their adoration of the food, the woman who made it and the woman who brought it to them. Even Sadaharu joined in with happy 'woofs' and 'yips'. She tried not to laugh. She really did. It wasn't easy.
A moment later, the dishevelled, silver haired samurai stumbled out of his room, still in his pyjamas and dragging his clothes along with him. "Urgh...I really need a shower..." he mumbled. "Sorry, I stink...there was a fight last night...and an explosion...it was a smoke bomb...but it really stank..." he said, making his way to the bathroom. "Anyway, I won't be long," he added.
"Stinky Gin-chan," Kagura chortled.
"Shut it!" he yelled from the bathroom.
After he came out of the bathroom, smelling like clean soap rather than a day old explosion and dressed in his usual clothes, he and Tsukuyo left Kagura and Shinpachi nursing their full stomachs on the sofas. Then, Gintoki burst into the bar where Otose was standing smoking.
"Oi, granny, I'm going out. Where's that old blanket o' yours?" Gintoki demanded.
"Ah, good afternoon, Gintoki-sama," Tama greeted him, sweeping up as usual.
"What? What'd you need a blanket for?" Otose blinked at him, confused. Until she looked over and saw Tsukuyo standing nervously by the door holding the bento. "Oh, I see," the old woman smiled at her, "I'll get it," she said, leaving the bar.
A moment later, she returned from her house and handed him an old faded blanket as well as a carton of strawberry milk. "Here," she said. "I heard the weather's gonna be nice today," she added, shrewdly.
"...Alright, what're you after?" he asked her, glaring at her suspiciously.
"What'd you mean?" she asked, innocently.
"You never give me strawberry milk...ever. Not without a huuuge mark up price. So, what's the deal?"
"No deal," Otose shrugged.
"Seriously?!"
"Well, you could pay the rent on time this month," she said, quietly.
"I KNEW IT!" he yelled, "This is a bribe! Do I look like a crooked cop to you?"
"Idiot! You should pay your rent on time anyway! Why should I have to bribe you?! I just thought...it's a warm day, and you're gonna be outside...you need to drink plenty of fluids...preferably not alcohol."
"You're acting nice...it's scary..." he shuddered and took a step back from her. "It's really damn scary. Did you hit your head?" he asked, "Did the tobacco finally make you loopy?"
"Tobacco doesn't do that! Geez. This is the thanks I get for being nice," she hit him over the head.
"OWWW!" he yelled.
"Otose-sama, I believe this is a good use of the phrase 'no good deed goes unpunished'. I learned it recently," Tama declared.
"Well, it's not really..." Gintoki mumbled, rubbing his head with the hand that wasn't balancing the blanket and the carton of milk. "I mean, I'm the one getting punished here..." he trailed off.
"Whatever, just get outta here already," Otose shoved him over towards the door. "If there's a woman willing to put up with you, don't leave her waiting," she said and he glared at her.
"Oi!" he yelled, indignantly.
"Get outta here, you damn perm head!" Otose pointed at the door.
"If you're coming back here tonight, bring me some earplugs!" Catherine called after him and Tsukuyo blushed.
"Get your own damn ear plugs, you pervert!" Gintoki yelled back at her.
"I'm not a pervert! It's not my fault you two are so loud!"
"Whatever. No one says you have to listen. Damn perverts," Gintoki grumbled as he made his way over to Tsukuyo at the door. Then he put his free hand around her waist and led her over to his scooter by the wall.
He dumped the blanket onto the back of the scooter and tied it down with a rope he kept handy to tying things down to the small vehicle. Then he secured the bento as well and picked up Kagura's red helmet and handed it to Tsukuyo. "Might be too small, try it," he said, "It's Kagura's."
"Eh? What do I need this for?" she asked, confused.
"Road safety," he mumbled.
"Eh? We're goin'...on that?" Tsukuyo eyed the scooter warily.
"Yeah. What's the problem?"
"Err...I've never...used one o' them b'fore..."
"You're not driving, it's fine," he said, putting on his own helmet, "Don't worry about it, were not going that far away," he said.
"...Mmmm," she shrugged and tried on the helmet.
"Too small?" he asked.
"S'fine."
"Damn, you got a small head," Gintoki rolled his eyes. "Hold this," he handed her the strawberry milk.
"Wh' for?" she asked, taking the carton and then squealed in shock when he lifted her up with a hand on either side of her waist and sat her on the scooter. "Kyaaaa! What're...y...ya doing?!" she yelled.
He sat on the scooter in front of her, "Hold on," he told her.
"To what?!" she demanded, still blushing.
"To me, what else?" he scoffed.
"Eh?" she blinked as the scooter engine spluttered to life. Startled, she threw her arms around his waist and closed her eyes.
"Not that much, I need to breathe!" he choked.
"Have fun!" Kagura waved from the balcony. "Don't stay out too late! Don't cause any trouble!" she added, sounding like an annoying parent.
"They're not kids, Kagura-chan," Shinpachi rolled his eyes beside her.
"Arrrp!" Sadaharu added.
"Erm...Gin-san?" Shinpachi asked, flushed. "Should err...s...should we stay at the dojo tonight?" he called.
"He really just shouted that...oh my god..." Tsukuyo mumbled, embarrassed. She leaned her forehead against his back and wished with all her might that their odd shouting conversation would end.
"Do they need to stay at the dojo?" Gintoki asked her.
"I don't know!" she hissed, "I can't believe that kid just asked us...this is so embarassin'...just...drive...please..."
"Patsuan, Kagura! Don't eat the gorilla lady's cooking! Whatever you do! Don't do that! And take the mutt with you!" Gintoki told the young samurai who nodded despite his furious red blush.
"Haaaaaai!" Kagura waved at them again.
"Bring earplugs! You damn perm head!" Catherine screamed from the door to the bar.
"Alright, that's enough, we're outta here," Gintoki declared, annoyed and he revved the engine to muffle anymore of their comments.
"I know you heard me!" Catherine yelled.
"Can't hear you!" he shouted and sped off down the street with Tsukuyo clinging onto him.
"Slow down, we're gonna craaaaash!" they heard her scream.
He drove them to a secluded field overlooking the city and shaded on all sides by a forest with a trail through it just wide enough for the scooter to drive through. How the place wasn't packed with people, Tsukuyo didn't know, especially on such a warm sunny day.
"People usually just go to the park," he shrugged when she asked. "This place is a bit far outta the way and it's pretty well hidden," he said taking off his helmet then hers and then he helped her off the scooter.
"Ya can see the whole city from 'ere," she remarked, standing on the edge of the hill and looking down at the busy streets of Edo. "Never thought it was that big...makes Yoshiwara look tiny," she mused. Having lived in the walled city for almost all of her life, it still surprised her just how big Edo was and just how chaotic. There was still so many things she hadn't seen and until fairly recently that hadn't ever bothered her.
"Guess it is...tiny, I mean," he said, struggling to untie the blanket and bento from the back of the scooter. "Yoshiwara isn't the world, y'know," he remarked.
"Was for me...f'years."
"Well, not anymore. Ahaha, got it," he said, grinning in victory when he freed the blanket. He tossed it to her and she caught it, fumbling a little in shock. "Go pick a spot," he told her.
"A what?"
"Go find somewhere to sit," he shook his head, incredulously.
"Oh...right..."
"Check for poop before you put the blanket down."
"W...seriously?" she grimaced.
"Yeah, sitting on a pile of poop isn't fun."
"Ew..." she muttered, meandering around and taking tentative steps for fear of stepping in anything unwanted.
Some time later, after they'd eaten, they were lying on the blanket and sipping from the almost empty carton of milk, Gintoki stared up at the sky. Tsukuyo was lying parallel to him with her head resting on his chest and her legs stretched out over the blanket.
"A kunai," she declared.
"What is it with you and kunai?" he mumbled, handing her the milk carton.
"But it looks just like one!" she said, pointing at a cloud in the sky which she claimed looked exactly one of her beloved, deadly weapons. She took a drink from the carton and then looked up at the cloud in question again. "See! It's just like a kunai!" she insisted, drawing the shape with her index finger.
"No, no way. No way is that a kunai. It's a parfait. A chocolate parfait," Gintoki said.
"How is that a parfait?!"
"It just is."
"Ya got parfaits for brains, that's ya problem," she said.
"Well, you got kunai for brains, then," he retorted.
"I'm fine with that."
"You would be," he snorted.
"Then, how 'bout that one?" she asked, pointing at another large, fluffy cloud.
"Easy," Gintoki grinned. "It's the flying Nimbus from DragonBall!" he said.
"That's a lazy answer! The Flying Nimbus is just a cloud!"
"Exactly. And that's a cloud up there too, so why can't it be the Flying Nimbus?"
"'Cause the Flying Nimbus is yellow, ya idiot! That cloud ain't yellow!"
"Waaa...Wait...how'd you know all that? How much JUMP did you read last week? Have you been reading more?" he stared at her.
"Erm..."
"You have, haven't you?" he threw his head back onto the blanket and closed his eyes.
"...Not much...I...I was workin'...but..." she said, embarrassed, "Seita started reading JUMP a while ago so I...borrowed..."
Before she could say anything else, he leaned over her and kissed her. Though it was a fairly awkward position for him to be leaning over her and twisting a little, it didn't stop him. With one hand tilting her face towards him he kissed her like a man posed and she kissed him back eagerly after she'd recovered from the initial surprise.
He was relentless as he mapped out her mouth and her lips with his tongue and hand at the side of her face moved to tangle into her hair and hold her close. She was just as unyielding and she clutched hard at his shirt, arching up into him and the embarrassing though of kissing outside, even though there was no one else there, was suddenly very difficult to voice. Her neck began to ache from craning up to meet him and she scrambled on the blanket without breaking their kiss so that she could lie directly beneath him. With his help, they managed to move and he was able to rest over her with a leg between hers and one hand still cradling her head. She let out a satisfied moan into his mouth now that she could reach around to rake her hand around his back
When they were both gasping for air, he pulled back and rested his forehead against her for a moment before he dropped his head onto her shoulder. "Don't suppose you're feeling adventurous and you wanna have s** outside?" he mumbled.
"T...t...that's...we can't! That's p...p...public i...indecency..." she stammered, "W...we'll get arrested!"
"By who? A tree?" he scoffed.
"I...I...we..."
"Probably right, though. That's one thing I've never been arrested for and I'd like to keep it that way. I'd never hear the end of it," he mumbled. "S'your fault. You shouldn't say things like that."
"I didn't...I mean...all I said was I'd borrowed Seita's..."
"STOP!" Gintoki exclaimed. He pushed himself up on his hands and stared down at her. "Don't say it again!' he said, sternly.
"Eh?" she blinked, stunned. "Seriously? Are ya gonna do that...every time I say I read some J..."
"Damn right I am," he said, unashamed, stopping her before she could finish her sentence. "You complaining?" he asked.
"No," Tsukuyo snapped and then blushed at her rapid answer.
"Never seen anyone get hooked on JUMP so fast," he muttered, nuzzling his nose along her neck.
"I ain't...hooked...I just..."
"You're totally hooked, admit it," Gintoki snorted.
"I...I just..." she blushed.
"What? I didn't say it was bad. I think it's hot," he said, unashamed.
"Erm..."
He rolled off her and lay at her side, curling up and resting his head on her shoulder whilst slinging an arm over her waist and letting out a deep, tired sigh. "You come up with the best ideas," he whispered, "This is nice."
"Hmmm," she agreed.
"I was gonna throw a load more out," he said, suddenly.
"Eh? Throw what out?"
"JUMP," he explained, "But you may as well give them to Seita. Didn't know he was reading it."
"He'll like that," she smiled.
"Uh huh," he drawled.
A while later, he was still lying there his eyes closed, curled up at Tsukuyo's side, neither of them willing to move. At least for a while he'd drifted off into a light sleep but then he woke with a deep sigh an he opened his eyes.
"Ya okay?" she asked, quietly.
"Why wouldn't I be?" he replied.
"Ya fell asleep."
"Sorry. Been a long few days."
"Yeah, they told me earlier..." Tsukuyo said, tentatively. "I didn't know. I was chasin' some stupid drug gang outta Yoshiwara."
"Well, it's not like you're psychic, how would you know what I've been doing?" he mumbled, snuggling closer to her. "Wasn't a fun job," he admitted.
"Ya don't 'ave to tell me anythin' if ya don't want to. I just...ya been quiet for a bit...is all..." she said. She didn't want to admit that she was worried and sound like a mother hen, but he must've understood because he quickly interrupted her.
"Quit fussing already, no one died or anything," he told her. "Had worse jobs than that I guess, but...it just really bugged me."
"Why?" she asked, "You found the kid right? Shinpachi and Kagura said..."
"Yeah, we found him. After his old man locked him in a cage, starved him and beat him up for a week," he answered.
"Oh."
"Some people just shouldn't have kids, y'know. That little boy last night...he idolised his old man, even after the jerk almost killed him. Why have a kid if you're just gonna hurt it? People are just..." he trailed off with an angry grimace.
"I know," Tsukuyo said. Living in Yoshiwara, she'd seen all sorts of horrific things that humans were capable of inflicting on one another, so she really did understand why he was so conflicted about it. "I don't get it either," she told him.
"I almost killed him...the old man, I mean. Pissed me off so damn much, wasn't really thinking."
"S'understandable," she sympathised, "Why didn't ya? Sounds like he deserved it. Prob'ly would'a been doin' the kid a favour."
"Kagura and Shinpachi stopped me. Stupid idiots...running in front me like that. Could'a killed them too. The kid...he was watching, and he begged me not to do it too. Thinking about it, the last thing he needed was some crazy monster killing his dad in front of him no matter how much of a b******* he is...but he still begged me not to after what he'd been through. I don't get it."
"Me neither."
"I never had any parents so I really know how much a kid would love them. But...there's gotta be a limit, right?"
"Dunno," she said, trying not to sound angry at her own parents, whoever they were. "Don't really remember my parents. They sold me, so they can't 'ave cared all that much. Whatever reason they had for doin' that, I'll never forgive 'em. Some things can't be forgiven. What that guy did to his kid is unforgivable too. Maybe one day, that kid'll realise that."
"Parents are b*******," he said. "Yours and his...well, his mom was ok from what I saw. She's the one who came to us. She left her jerk of a husband and that's how he got revenge. But at least that kid won't be alone when he wakes up."
"He's in hospital, right?"
"Yeah."
"Will he...be okay?"
"Doctor seemed to think so. But that kinda thing's gonna mess a kid up, right?"
"Poor kid," she whispered.
"The dad's in prison now. People who hurt kids don't do well in prison...or so I hear," he mused.
"Let's hope that's true," she said, pursing her lip and he nodded.
"You cheated!" Gintoki yelled.
"I didn't! You just stink at this game!"
"Oi!"
"Anyway, ya can't cheat at eye spy!"
"Well, you found a way!"
"Idiot, there's no way...wait...are ya sulkin'?" she scoffed when he crossed his arms.
"No," he snapped.
"Ya are, aren't ya?" she laughed at him, stunned.
"Shut it."
"Ya really are a sore looser," she laughed.
"Shut it!"
"So...what's that one?" Tsukuyo asked, pointing at one of the many building they could see from atop the hill.
"Coffee shop," he answered.
"Another one?"
"There's a lot," he shrugged.
"Then...how 'bout that one?" she pointed at another.
"Gengai's workshop."
"Gengai? Who's that?"
"Well...people say he's the best mechanic in Edo, but I say he's just a robot loving crackpot," Gintoki replied.
"Oh," she furrowed her brow. "And...that one?" she asked, pointing again to yet another building.
"Casino. Are you gonna ask me about every single one?"
"Well, I don't know what they all are!"
"Fiiiine...pick another one."
"Err...that one."
"Huh, funny story about that one, actually..."
"If ya push me off..." Tsukuyo exclaimed.
"Relax, I won't do that," he rolled his eyes.
"Aren't we too old to be sittin' up a tree like this?"
"All men are boys at heart," he shrugged.
"How'd you even talk me into this?" she asked, incredulously as she shuffled tentatively. He was sat on a large branch about half way up a very large tree with his back resting against the tree trunk and with Tsukuyo leaning against him, sat between his legs and his arms were around her waist. "Why did I even agree to this? This is stupid," she mumbled.
"What? Climbing trees isn't stupid. Everyone does it, it's fun. I spent half my childhood up trees," he snorted. "You never climbed trees before?"
"No trees in Yoshiwara," she shrugged.
"All the more reason to do it now then. And look, the view's nice, isn't it?"
"...I guess..." she admitted, "But the view was nice down there on the ground, too."
"You jump over buildings and run across rooftops every day, how are you scared of sitting up in a tree?" he asked.
"I ain't scared! I just...I do those things all the time, I know if a buildings' gonna collapse or how not to fall off of it when I'm runnin' on it. I don't trust a tree enough to sit in it without fallin' on my a**."
"You're seriously overthinking this. It's just a tree," Gintoki scoffed. "It's not a creepy evil tree with giant teeth like in 'Mass For the Dead'. It's not a Predatory Plant. This isn't the Great Forest of Tob. It's just a tree. Sheesh." *1
"The...eh? What? What're ya talkin' about?"
"It's a game. Doesn't matter. Point is, you're not gonna fall on your a**.
"What if ya just drop me?"
"Why would I drop you on your a**? You have a nice a**, why would I do that?"
"Quit talkin' 'bout my a**!" she blushed.
"You started it," he said and she grumbled, unable to deny that fact.
"If you say it's a kunai again..." Gintoki said with a sigh.
"I wasn't gonna say that," Tsukuyo insisted.
"What is it then?"
"...An arrow head..." she answered, looking up at the clouds again.
"That's practically the same shape as a kunai! You might has we'll have just said it's a kunai! You're really obsessed. It's creepy. Why are you so freaking obsessed with kunai?!"
"But it's a pointy looking, triangle shaped cloud! It's a weird cloud! What else could it be?"
"Anything else!"
"Like what?"
"Err...erm..." he scrubbed a hand through his hair. "An onigiri? Or an alien spaceship?" he suggested, "Oooh, yeah that's it. It's the little triangle spaceship from that old crappy video game...Asteroids, that's it. It's the triangle space ship from Asteroids!" he declared, proudly, "Hah! And all those little clouds are the asteroids it's gonna fire at!"
"I still say it's a kunai," Tuskuyo said, pedantically.
"Crazy kunai lady," he grumbled.
"There's no way that's true. No. No way," Gintoki shook his head, vehemently.
"It is," she insisted.
"You're telling me...when you were eleven..."
"Ten," she corrected him with a smug smile.
"No...no way..."
"I really did. It wasn't my idea, I heard the courtesans talkin' about it, they said it'd be a good idea but they were too scared they'd get caught if they did it. I hated that b****. We all did. She was cruel. But her top client was pretty rich so even Hinowa couldn't do much against her. But he was really old and he kept his pills in her rooms 'cause he was there a couple times a week an' apparently he really, really needed them."
"So you actually..."
"Yep," she nodded and he burst out laughing.
"I...shouldn't laugh at the guy...I guess it wasn't funny for him but...it's just the thought that YOU actually swapped out his...his viagra pills for..." he chortled. "So...what happened?" he asked, "Y'know...after they figured out he couldn't..."
"He blamed her," Tsukuyo shrugged. "She lost all her standing in Yoshiwara. Maybe it was kinda cruel...but she used to beat women half to death just 'cause she felt like it," she explained. She left out the fact that she herself had been beaten by that courtesan and revenge had been on the forefront of her mind at the time. No one had found out that it had been her who'd switched the viagra pills for indigestion pills, and if anyone had suspected, they hadn't ever come forward about it.
He stared at her for a moment like he understood and then smiled again. "Ah, little rebel Tsukki," he laughed.
"Think ya can beat that?" she asked.
"Well...when Takasuki and I were maybe about eleven we shaved Zura's head and told him that he was dying of old age," Gintoki replied.
"...Really?" she laughed.
"Yeah, we always used to say he acted too old for his age," he shrugged. "We had him convinced for two whole days that he was at death's door before Sensei caved and told him he was fine and that his hair would grow back eventually."
"Ya really shaved his head?"
"His whole head," Gintoki grinned. "And he didn't even wake up while we did it. He sleeps like the dead, always did. It was a pain in the a** in the war. If you're getting attacked in the middle of the night, there's no alarm clock to wake you up first. One time, we got sneak attacked at night and when it was all over he was just waking up and he didn't have a clue what was going on."
"Bet he hated ya both."
"Oh yeah," he nodded. "But he got us back just as good. He tossed Takasuki into pile of manure. He stank for aaaageeees, it was gross. No one wanted to go near him," he said.
"What'd he do to ya?"
"Erm..." he suddenly flushed and looked away.
"What?" she asked. He was so very rarely embarrassed that she was even more intrigued.
"Well...it's stupid. There was this little river in the village not far from the school. We used to have a wash very night in it...so...we were there one night and Zura stole my clothes while I was in the water...all of them," he mumbled.
"He...stole ya..." she repeated in disbelief.
"Yes," he snapped, "Then he ran back to the school and left me there."
"So...ya had to..."
"I had to walk back through the village...back to the school...naked," he answered, blushing red. "And even at night there was always people still working in the village and..." he grimaced.
Tsukuyo looked at him for a moment and then bent over with laughter, unable to stop. "Y...ya were...hah!" she chortled.
"But at least I wasn't bald," Gintoki said.
"N...no...b...but everyone saw ya...naked!" she was still laughing.
"Yeah...okay, fine, they did," he grumbled.
"How long b'fore you went out again?"
"...'Bout two months," he admitted.
"Hah," she laughed again.
When the sun started to set and the air grew cooler, they drove back to Kabukicho. He dumped the old blanket onto the counter in Otose's bar without a word and ignored her odd smile as he and Tsukuyo left the bar and climbed the stairs up to his house. He also pointedly ignored Catherine as she yelled at him, demanding a pair of earplugs again.
"Ignore her," he said to a very embarrassed Tsukuyo at his side.
"But..." she mumbled as he opened the door and they both went inside. He locked the door and they took off their shoes and set down the bento box.
"Better yet," Gintoki said with a grin. "Why don't you scream even louder just to annoy her some more," he suggested.
"I...I'm not gonna do that!" she exclaimed.
"Oh, come on. She's just try'na embarrass you..."
"Well, it's workin'..."
"You can embarrass her right back. Think about it, if all she hears all night is..."
"No," she said, shaking her head.
"You can be pretty loud, y'know," he teased her.
"I ain't loud!"
"And she's got really good hearing," he continued as if Tsukuyo hadn't even spoken. "If you're even louder this time, it'll really..."
"No!" Tsukuyo repeated, "And who says we're even gonna..."
"So you don't want to?" he asked her in disbelief.
"...I..."
"You wanna just sit here all night and play chess or something?"
"Erm..."
"'Cause we can if you want, I mean, it won't be as much fun but..." he mocked.
"I don't wanna play chess! Don't even know how."
"Or you could go home? I mean, there's always work, right? You damn workaholic."
"Well, I..." she pursed her lip.
"I knew it. You sex fiend," he snorted.
"I ain't a sex fiend! And I ain't loud...I ain't gonna be...no...no way..."
"Kinda sounds like a challenge to me."
"Eh?" she blinked at him.
For the women who grew up in Yoshiwara, sex, they were told was for their 'client' to enjoy, not for them. Yoshiwara was a haven for men and a skyless prison for its women. She'd grown up with the courtesans telling her that her own pleasure didn't matter because the men certainly wouldn't care about it. From everything she'd seen, the men who came to her town were usually selfish and greedy, buying women for the night for their own needs and then leaving. What she hadn't expected was to meet someone who disproved the notion that all men were the same as that and that a woman was able to enjoy her self just as much as any man. He seemed intent on proving that, at least that how it seemed to her. Or maybe he just really, really wanted to annoy his landlady.
Tsukuyo was lying naked atop the soft futon, her wrists were pinned by one of Gintoki's much larger hands above her head even though she hardly had the energy left to try and move. His other hand and his mouth had trailed all over her body and how he held back, she simply couldn't understand. She could feel his hard, insistent arousal branding into her thigh or her stomach as he moved. But every time she'd try and move closer to him, he'd move away, tormenting her and likely himself in the process if the pained noises he made were anything to go by.
Despite her assurances that she wasn't going to further antagonise his neighbours, her throat was hoarse from screaming and her lungs were burning along with the rest of her body. Her first orgasm had rendered her a quivering mess and she'd muffled a hand at her mouth to try to stay quiet but that's when he'd pinned them above her head.
Her second hadn't been achieved quite so easily because he'd mercilessly pushed her to the edge only to bring her back over and over again until she begged loudly and it had left her thrashing beneath him frantically until she'd collapsed, bonelessly. At some point she must have been crying because she vaguely felt the tears trickling down her face.
It was a bizarre form of torture not to be able to touch him like he was touching her but from the smug look on his face he seemed to be enjoying immensely and she was helpless to do anything other than beg, although what she was begging for she didn't really know at this point. Was she begging him to stop or for more or simply to be allowed to touch him? She didn't know anymore.
After her third, she figured she must've blackout out and lost all sense of reality because when she opened her eyes again, he was lying beside her, rather than on top of her, twirling strands of her hair around his fingers and peeling away other strands that were struck to her sweaty skin. She hadn't even seen or felt him move at all.
"You back?" he asked as he started kissing down her neck. "You were really out of it," he added.
"...Hmmm..." Tsukuyo let out a shaky sigh. She was still panting heavily, her chest rising and falling with every breath she took. Just turning her head to the side so that she could look at him took ever ounce of strength she had left. "C'nt m've..." she just about managed to mumble.
"What'd you need t'move for?"
"F*** knows," she replied with a shaky scoff and he snorted.
He quickly rolled back on top of her and kissed her with a desperate urgency and with a very limp arm, Tsukuyo brought her hand up to one of his arms on either side of her and held on.
"Be lucky if I last two seconds after all that," he muttered into her lips, sounding strained. "'Cause...that was really f******..." he trailed off. He was as tense as a coiled spring above her and arms on either side of her were unyielding. As his tongue plundered her mouth and she tried to keep up, his desperation only became more pronounced and she could feel the trails of sweat dripping down his shoulder on her hand. She was already a fraught bundle of frayed nerves and how he'd last as long as he had, she'd never know.
But whatever was left of his restraint vanished quickly and without a warning, he grabbed her legs and brought them up over his shoulders and she couldn't even question it, mostly because she didn't even want to. She was far too exhausted to be embarrassed about it either. He pushed into her, hard and fast and muttered her name as he moved deeper and deeper inside of her.
She threw back her head and clutched at the sheets of the futon when he drew back and thrust into her again, forcing her already frayed nerves into overdrive. When one of her legs began to slide off his shoulder because she didn't have the energy to keep it there, he clamped a hand around it held it in place with a tight grip. He looked and sounded just as desperate as she'd been after all of his ruthless teasing earlier and his already jarring movements became increasingly forceful. She could tell he was close, so close that it was unbearable judging from his pained expression and he was breathing out disjointed curses as he moved.
With her limbs still feeling heavy and boneless and her nerves already overstimulated, all she could do was hold him. She managed to arch her back up enough so that she could meet his lips in a graceless, uncoordinated kiss but his next thrust threw her back onto the futon, knocking the air right out of her burning lungs.
A few seconds later after several more rapid, forceful thrusts, he exploded inside her and tensed all around her with a deep, shuddering exhale.
Finally, he collapsed onto her, dropping her legs from his shoulders and sprawling himself limply over her, trying to catch his breath. After a moment he had the energy to roll off her completely and he lay beside her.
"Hmmm," Tsukuyo let out what was, in his opinion, an adorable sounding sigh of contentment as she curled up at his side.
Her eyes were closed, her hair was a complete mess, her lips were red and swollen and she was covered in drying sweat just as he was but the thought that he was the one who'd caused all that was an amazing boost to his ego. "Now...I can't move..." he panted, staring up at the ceiling.
"Wha y'wanna d'that for?" she asked, sounding exhausted as she mimicked his earlier words.
"F*** knows," he replied, dryly.
"Heh," she let out a sleepy snort.
"Oi..."
"Wh't?" Tsukuyo mumbled.
"Wanna know the best part?" he asked.
"Huh?"
"You were really, really damn loud," he grinned.
"Urgh..." she whined and rolled onto her stomach so that she could bury her face into the pillow.
"I prob'ly was too...Wish I'd recorded it," he lamented.
"Eh? What? Tell me ya didn't?" Tsukuyo raised her head a little so that she could glare at him.
"No, I said I wish I had," Gintoki said. "Can y'blame me?! You were completely out of it for like five minutes...okay, maybe it wasn't that long...but still..."
Tsukuyo simply let out an embarrassed sounding moan and hid her face in the pillow again while he laughed.
"Otose-sama," Tama began from downstairs, "It appears as though their sexual activities have stopped. From the extended period of noises they made and their silence now, should I assume that both of them, or one of them is dead?"
"If they're not, I'll kill them myself!" Catherine yelled. She was clutching a pillow around her head to cover her ears and she looked extremely tired. "Those punks! I'll show them what happens when you annoy Latchkey Catherine! Just you wait!"
"Tama, they're not dead. But I'd say she's very very, very happy. And he's just gonna be a smug b****** about it," Otose said, wryly.
"Understood," she replied, "'Aaaaah and mmmmm and hmmmm noises mean that Tsukuyo-sama is very happy and Gintoki-sama is very smug. I'll add that to my data."
"Don't do that!" the old woman exclaimed.
"I'm never gonna get any sleep here anymore," Catherine whined.
"The data is added to to my memory banks," Tama declared.
"Delete it!" Otose told her, "Delete it already!"
1*. I just wanted some kind of reference for an evil tree so I googled it and this game was the first thing that came up lol. 'Mass For the Dead' apparently has evil trees called Predatory Plants.
A.N. Thanks to everyone who's reading and another big thank you to everyone who's reviewed :) I hope you like the new chapter. See you all next time!