Hey everyone!
This chapter is... well it's a pretty long chapter because i have no restraint while edited and refuse to let my boyfriend help me :D
I couldn't seem to find a perfect spot to end a chapter. Don't forget to leave a comment!
"What can we do for you gentlemen?" I called out. Solas put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed telling me to be nice. He was right, with the Templar's there we wouldn't be able to cast. Or at least Solas wouldn't be able to, I still had the magic that wasn't called from the fade and my staff blade.
"We came to find the elf mage who stepped out of line and attacked one of our own." My eyes narrowed.
"And what, pray tell, are you going to do to said elf when you find them?" I called back. They took a step forward but we didn't budge.
"Bring them to justice under Templar law." A shiver I couldn't repress went through me. I knew very well what they meant by Templar law. Many of the Templar's from the Crescent moon bandits claimed to abide to this law. Any time one of us did something that apposed them they would punish us badly. Solas squeezed again and I rolled my shoulder to dislodge his hand.
"And if I refuse?" They smiled at us as they took another step.
"We use force and take you in dead instead of alive." I could feel my eyes begin to bleed red as the words left his mouth. I could feel my power ripple through me and wash over the clearing in a challenge I dared them to accept. The recruit and one of the Templar's stumbled back.
"Maybe this is a bad idea..." The recruit said, his whole body shaking. Solas again tried to pull me back but I was too far gone. The greens of my eyes had gone a full red. I pushed another more powerful wave of my energy at them and past the trees all the way to Haven. It was my last ditched attempt at stopping myself from losing control. With any luck Seb would feel it and come running to stop me.
"Sybel please, you have no armor and we have no swords. This is not a fight we can win." Solas tried to reason with me. I just turned to him.
"Don't come near me once I start moving. If Seb doesn't come in the next ten minutes run back and get him. Do not engage me, do you understand?" He had gone completely still at seeing my eyes.
"Solas, please." My voice was coming out in a strained whisper. It was taking all my strength not to attack him.
"Yes. I understand." His face had become a cool mask
"To answer your question. Not everyone who has a horrendous past ends up like me." He laughed in spite of himself and backed away. I threw my staff to the side as I walked to the Templar's and let myself lose control
Everything was moving fast. Much faster than I thought I could move but I guess this Elven body was better then my human one. The first Templar fell before he could scream and I ducked as the second swung his sword at my head. My hand shot out like a viper and stuck his leg, breaking it. I grabbed his sword and decapitated him in one swing. The third one was a bit tricky. He was an older Templar and was skilled, I blocked one of his attacks and gritted my teeth from the force of it. We matched blow after blow for a couple minutes before he spoke.
"How does a female elf mage learn how to use a sword?" My laugh ripped its way through my throat at his question.
"Do you know who I am pathetic human or did the little royal boy not tell you?" The Templar's eyes shot to the boy for just a moment before turning back to me.
"No, he said nothing of it. I have a feeling you are about to tell me." I could hear the footsteps of someone running away as I went in for another blow.
"I'm the Heralds twin sister, you threatened the wrong women." Fear at what he had done flashed on his face and then shock as I blocked his next attack and kicked him hard in the head. I stood over him as he laid on the ground, my sword went straight into his mouth.
"What a fitting end for a man who never asked the right questions. Goodbye Templar." The words where spit out like venom and I drove the sword into his mouth and his brain. I could hear heavy breathing and footsteps coming from behind me as I tried to stop my body from moving. I looked up and sucked in a sharp breath as my eyes fell on Solas who was still standing in front of the cabin. Each step felt like agony as I struggled to regain control.
"Why did you not run?" My voice was broken and I could feel my red eyes well up as I fought the urge to kill him. The footsteps where getting closer now and with every step the person took I could feel myself losing more control. The sword twirled in my hand casually as I stepped closer.
"There was no need for me to." The tears where falling down my cheeks as I took the last step in front of him.
"Why?" I said in a growl. My control all but gone as I stood in front of him.
"Because I finally found someone who is just as much a monster as I am and hates it." My eyes grew wide as my arm swung the sword down to hit one of the only things I began to care for in the world.
Before I could react my blade hit another before it hit its mark and a boot kicked me back a couple feet. When I stood and looked at who saved Solas I sobbed. Seb was standing in front of him smiling like the idiot he was.
"Well that was close, why don't we get the real Sybel back, shall we?" He stepped forward and waited for me to move.
"Have I ever told you how much I hate your face?" I called to him holding myself back with a new resolve.
"Have I ever told you how pretty you look with the red eyes?" I snorted and lurched forward and met his sword.
"It has been a while since we did this dance. We should do it more often when you won't kill everyone in site." I choked out a laugh and my body moved to attack again. Seb matched each attack with just as much force as me as he tried to wear me down.
"Just disarm me already!" I shouted at him as he danced around another one of my swipes.
"And miss the opportunity for exercise and training?" He said before thrusting his dagger forward enough to slice my cheek. It was a sobering pain as it allowed me to gain some form of control.
"Again." Seb didn't ask questions as he lashed out a bunch of tiny cuts to my face and hands. I finally gained enough control to drop to my knees and drop my sword but knew it wouldn't last long. Seb slid over to me and ripped my sleeve up and aligned our tattoos.
It took a good couple minutes for me to finally gain control over my body. It wasn't like I was ready to kill everything that moved anymore but I couldn't get up and walk around. I could here Seb talking to Solas, no doubt trying to explain why I had lost control and how I got like this.
"Seb..." I whispered from my still prone position in the middle of the clearing. His head snapped up and sprinted over to my side.
"Can you stand?" He asked, concern dripping from his voice. All I could do was nod my head. He helped me up and walked me into the cabin. I could feel my hair falling into my face from my tie and I was grateful for it. I didn't want Solas to see me so weak and helpless. I stumbled into one of the chairs next to the fire place and Seb lit the fire, not even hiding that he had magic in front of Solas and knelt down in front of me.
"Sybel, I need to go outside and get rid of the bodies. When I'm done I'll need you to fix the snow." I nodded and rested my head on the back of the chair as he left to clean up my mess.
"He said that this was the longest you have ever been like this and to watch that you don't suddenly die." Solas said from behind me. I let out a small laugh and curled up in my seat.
"If you wish to kill me because I'm too much of a liability then I will understand. I wouldn't want something like me around either." He scoffed at my suggestion and walked around to face me. His hand came up to move a piece of hair out of my face and knelt down in front of me on the floor.
"You would rather die now then keep fighting what ever ails you? That doesn't sound like the Sybel I've been getting to know." I shrugged as I picked at the frayed bits on the arm rest.
"I didn't say I would rather die, I said if you felt I must die then I wouldn't hold it against you. I'm always weak after it happens but this time I can barely walk or even talk. I wouldn't be able to fight you off." The numbness was starting to leave from my fingertips and some emotion was creeping its way into my chest.
"Your brother didn't tell me how this happened to you, just said that if you felt I needed to know I would know." I rolled my eyes and pulled back my right sleeve more. I couldn't suppress the sigh that escaped me when he cold fingers touched my heated skin.
"I was experimented on when we where with that bandit group. They mixed lyrium and something else together to make our tattoos, mine was the only one to take that they could tell. They theorized it was because of me being a mage but Seb is one too. We keep Seb's magic a secret for obvious reasons." He actually paid more attention to the tattoo now and noticed the power that was seeping from it. After he was done looking at it he slowly healed the cuts on my hands.
"So when ever your emotions go out of control, what ever it is takes over and causes you to hurt people regardless of your feelings for them." I nodded and looked to the door as Seb came back in.
"You might want to hurry up before the weasel comes back." I forced myself to get up and walk out the door. My hand shot out and a fresh blanket of snow dropped on top of the blood soaked ground. I moved my hands this way and that to force imprints into the snow to make it look like three sets of prints came into the cabin and nothing more. When I walked back I found Seb walking up to Solas with his hands extended, blue light shining from his palms.
"Seb NO!" I yelled at him before he got to him. Seb froze and looked at me.
"What do you mean no?! No one has ever found out about you and now your pulling back on me wiping his memories? Why?" He was right but I just couldn't wipe Solas's memory of today, it just didn't feel right. 'Because I finally found someone who is just as much a monster as I am and hates it.' The words wove into my mind and I looked firmly at Seb.
"I don't think Solas of all people is going to rat me out to the Inquisition." I put my hands on my hip and stood my ground. I wasn't about to have one of my only friends have there mind wiped.
"Sybel please, rethink this. This could go extremely bad for us in the end if people know about you." He stalked right up to me going nose to nose. I glared at him and refused to back down.
"And what if its different this time? So many things are different, some are small and you wouldn't notice it but there are other bigger things that are different this time." I was trying to word things that only Seb would understand but he kept looking back to Solas, making sure I didn't say too much.
"Syb don't give yourself hope. You know how this will end, things will not change to the extent I see you hoping for. This will never work!"
"So you're saying to forever play by the book? To never hope for anything else because there is a chance it could go wrong? Should I just stay locked away then and wait for all this to pass just to die in the end anyways!? I won't do it Seb! Because if I can't hope for something better than being locked away with you for the rest of my life then it's not worth living." I ripped up his hand to shove it in his face. "You know this is killing you! You know in the end I'll be alone with no one to be beside me that I trust, so why not branch out and be close to people who know? I get there is a large chance it will blow up in my face but if I don't try then we would be no better than the kids stuck being experimented on by bandits." I walked away and flopped into the chair and held my head in my hands. I needed to breath and steady my racing heart or I would lose control again. A long pause followed my emotional blowup and I waited for Seb to blow his gasket.
"If that's how you feel then I understand. I won't push the matter with you further." I looked up in shock as he left the cabin. The room filed with silence for a moment before Solas spoke.
"I don't understand what just happened but thank you." I just nodded and stayed where I was. I was too drained physically and emotionally to do anything.
"I felt the mark's magic the other night." He tensed slightly like I was going to out him. "I know that it is killing him slowly and so does he. It's always been me and Seb for as long as I can remember. None of the village kids ever wanted to play with us, the adults never paid us any mind. Our own parents would have rather leave us to our fate than help us. It is hard for us to trust people let alone talk to them. I just don't want to have to hide from everyone anymore so consider yourself the test run." His eyes where sad but I figured that was from him having to leave me behind in the future too, instead of being sad to hear my miserable life.
"I look forward to proving him wrong." I smiled at him as he said it and rested my head on the chair again. I knew in the end he would leave me behind but I couldn't help but hope, and if it happened then I would deal with what came after. I was brought out of my thoughts by his hand on my face as he healed the rest of the cuts. Something pulled in my chest at feeling his calloused fingers graze my skin but I pushed the feeling down. Friends, I could be friends with the Dreadwolf.
We sat there for an hour or so before I heard someone coming through the door. Solas had been reading out loud to pass the time until my body wasn't so tired.
"Ah it's just you two, good, I needed to talk with you." Liliana's voice drifted through the tiny cabin in the dark and I motioned for her to come in and take my chair but she kindly declined.
"What can we do for you Nightingale?" Solas asked as I poked the fire and threw another log on.
"We had a young recruit that you happened to have an encounter with come screaming through Haven saying Sybel was a demon. I came to see if she really did butcher three people." I let out a laugh and turned to her.
"So what did you need to do? Some test or something? Solas is kind to spirits but not demons." I laughed again at the idea of me being a demon. Although I did kill those people, it was in blinding rage and my own power that caused that.
"None of that will be necessary." She said holding up her hand and shacking her head. "I can clearly see that you are not an abomination. I will ask what the two of you are doing here." She walked over to the fire where Solas was standing with his book, a small smile playing on his lips. The very lips that could spin such believable lies.
"We were sent by the alchemist to find his masters work to improve our potions. We have been here since this morning and still haven't found it so we are talking a break." She nodded to him in understanding.
"So you thought it might be in the books?" She looked at all the books on the floor.
"Yes, we have looked in almost every place but alas it eludes us." I said, getting up from the chair. My limbs cracked and twinged from being so still for so long. Liliana looked around the room with her expert eyes and after a moment she walked over the basket we had originally found the notes under. Solas had put them back under there incase this very moment happened.
"No one ever looks under the baskets." She said as she plucked the notes off the bottom and waved them at us. I made a show of rolling my eyes and Solas walked over in excitement.
"Great, I wasted most of my day off in a stuffy cabin. Thanks Solas. Can we go now? You owe me a drink for all this." Solas gestured me to go first and started to walk to the door.
"I will get you two ma' falon for the trouble. Liliana, shall we accompany you back? Or are you staying for a bit?" She looked around the room for a tense moment before coming to the door.
"I will enjoy the walk back with you two. There is nothing I can see that would cause me to stay behind." I refrained from loosing a breath I was holding and walked into the sunny evening rays. I could see her looking at the extra set of footprints and hoped she would think it was the recruit just spying on us and spinning a lie.
She said nothing about it as we made our way back and instead talked with us about the potions the alchemist could make and asking us to come with her as she dealt with the recruit. By the time we got back to Haven the sun was about to set. We walked through the training camp and everyone stopped what they where doing to watch us. I guess the boy must have come back screaming his brains out to everyone and anyone who would listen. We found him sitting in a tent with the Commander and the Seeker, babbling about how I had moved so fast and how I chopped a man's head clean off with a sword.
"Enough." Liliana commanded, walking closer to him with a scary type of calm. Cassandra backed away and came to stand next to me with a questioning look. I shrugged my shoulders and felt a pang of guilt. The woman was starting to trust me and as much as I needed to hide my little incident it still made me feel bad to lie and frame the boy. The boy saw me behind her and started to scream and beg for his life.
"I said enough." He paused at the irritation in her voice. "Now, you said Sybel ripped apart three Templar's. Said she was some sort of demon and that she was going to kill you. Yet she stands here looking perfectly fine. I found her in the cabin you said she was in with Solas but there was no bloodshed or dead bodies outside. The only thing I found was a third set of footprints going up to the door and leaving. So either Sybel is a crazy good mage who can clean up her mess and weld a sword and Solas is working for her or you spied on them and came back here screaming about something that didn't happen." Her voice was dripping with venom as she explained everything. We had done an amazing job of covering everything up if we tricked the Nightengale into fully believing in us.
The boy was beginning to panic and rightfully so. He had no proof. The Commander had started to explain that the three Templar's he was claiming died where never here to begin with, never existed in this camp. I caught Solas's eyes looking at me with a funny look and I just gave him a 'I'll tell you later' look back.
"So Sybel, would you like to have a hand in picking his punishment?" Liliana said turning to me. I shook my head.
"All I want is to head to the tavern for a drink, plus I don't think I would be very good at picking punishments. I would have him working in horse shit for months for the shit he spread." She nodded and dismissed us. I didn't fully breathe until we where inside the gates of town.
"Can we not do that again?" Solas asked as he led me to his cabin instead of the tavern. I nodded and followed him inside and sat at his small table.
"So may I ask how everyone forgot about our friends?" He asked as he grabbed a bottle from across the room and poured us our drinks.
"You can. You earned the right to know after today." I took a long drink from my glass and the bitter taste of wine filled my mouth and I moaned as it settled into my empty stomach. "Me and my brother have interesting magic to put it lightly. You have already seen most of mine but Seb is the opposite. Were I lose control he is in control. He can wipe people's memories and make people think anything he wants. He can't do it to everyone but most people are weak enough in there beliefs to be controlled by him." I took another drink. Solas had just sat back down with a plate of bread and fruit and I
snatched a couple slices of the bread.
"So your brother was going to wipe my memory of what happened to you but you stopped him?" The question was more of him stating the fact and I nodded my head as I spread jelly on my bread.
"Do you think me weak-minded?" Solas asked as he took a drink of his wine. I nearly choked on my bread.
"Gods no! I meant only weak-minded people can be controlled by him. I don't think he could make you do his bidding. I think you are too strong for that." He smiled behind his glass and my heart skipped. That smile on the other hand could probably make me do many things. I shook my head clear and finished the bread and moved on to the fruit. Friends Sybel, friends.
"So what other talents do you have? Besides losing control and moving like a skilled thousand year old warrior." I laughed and popped a berry in my mouth.
"Some things are better figured out than told." He gave me a funny look and plucked a berry off one of the vines. "What I mean is I would rather you hold a stronger opinion of me and know me better before I tell you everything." He failed to hide his look of surprise before asking.
"So what ever you're not telling me about yourself is more interesting than extreme power and mind control?" I bit my lip and tried to think of how I would word these next words. If I flat out told him I could see the future upon command then he could think I would find out about him. Not that it mattered to me about his plan since I already knew what it was but for him to know I knew could change a great many things.
"It's more dangerous for me to tell you what it is now than it would if I told you later. I know I told you I would explain everything but it would be safer for me and my brother if I didn't tell you. It's not mind altering and doesn't put me or anyone in danger when I use it so I hope that's not a problem." He nodded in understanding and drank from his cup.
"There are many things I have not told you about myself that I would never say. I would even say this is a part of befriending someone. Understanding that there are things that either person will never tell the other." I nodded and fidgeted in my seat. All this secret keeping was starting to weigh on my mind the more and more I was around him. I knew all his secrets already and he knew none of mine. This friendship was probably the worst to pick out of all the others I could have picked from.
"Do you really think you are a monster?" My voice came out in a whisper, like if it was any louder he would grow fir and fangs. His eyes grew dark for just a moment before he put his mask in place.
"Everyone has a past Sybel. Even more are trying to atone for what they have done. I am no exception." I swirled my drink for a moment before drinking it in one gulp. My heart started to feel too heavy for a casual drink so I said goodnight. Before I left I couldn't help looking back to him.
"For what it's worth, I'm glad our paths crossed. We may think of ourselves as monsters but I think there always has to be a monster in every story. Sometimes the monster in a story is just someone who is trying to do the right thing." I hoped it helped him but knew Solas would still hate himself no matter what anyone told him.
About an hour later Seb came home and flopped onto his bed. I jumped onto his bed and curled up next to him, he turned his body to lay on his side facing me.
"Penny for your thoughts?" I asked and he chuckled
"I have to head to meet the Chantry mothers and I won't bother to ask you to come since there will be a shit ton of Templar's there." I nodded my thanks and waited for him to continue. "I already told them I would prefer to deal with the mages than Templar's and Cullen freaked out. Then we have to deal with time magic and I'm not looking forward to seeing what the crazy time rip will show me with you." He gave a big sigh and scrubbed at his face. "Can we just be at Skyhold already?" I laughed at that. I also wished for the big castle.
"Just get Sera, talk to the old ladies, get Blackwall, Bull and Dorian, deal with the time travel and get the mages." I poked his nose and he batted me away.
"You're forgetting someone Syb." I rolled my eyes, he meant the enchanter and wished he would just forget her.
"Do you really have to invite Vivienne? She always hates me." He laughed and tugged at my hair.
"Maybe she wouldn't hate you so much if you didn't side with Solas on so many things."
"At least the stuff Solas fights for makes sense." Seb gave me a look and I sighed. "I'm sorry I haven't been the best companion the past bit. I've had a lot to think about since we came here. I just don't think we will ever get back home and I'm just trying to make the best of my life here." He nodded in agreement and understanding. He was also making friends with the people in the inner circle. I think he was even hitting on the lovely ambassador.
"Just promise me in the end you will make the right decision." I couldn't speak so I just nodded and listened to him talk about the little things that seemed to be different so far that he noticed, or things that the game never portrayed. I wasn't long before I fell asleep beside him listening to him talk.
I woke up the next day to Lana shrieking. It turns out, it's not normal for siblings to sleep in the same bed and she thought we where secretly seeing each other. We quickly changed and I went to see everyone off. To my surprise I was the only one not going to see the mothers. I waved and seen them all off before heading back to see if I could help around the town.
It turned out there were a lot more things that needed help around Haven than I thought. For three days I hung out with Lana, brought in fire wood and helped in the barns. Learned some boring literature from Josephine and how to dance. On the final day I was in the training yard helping some mages with there spells when I saw my brother's banners come over the hill. I squealed and ran to meet them at the barn. When they all dismounted I flung myself at my twin and he caught me easily in a bear hug and spun me around. When he put me down we could hear a cough come from behind us.
"Oi, is that your girlfriend? She's pretty." Sera called from a little further down the line. Cassandra and Varric laughed and Solas tried to hide his smile behind his hand. I gave them a rude gesture and walked up to meet her.
"My name is Sybel, I'm Sebastian's twin sister." Her face went a bit red when she shook my hand.
"You are a mage my dear?" I could hear Vivienne ask, moving to stand next to Sera. I held back my eye roll. It was obvious with the staff on my back but I just smiled at her.
"Yes I am."
"But not circle trained I'm guessing?" I stiffened and felt Solas walk up behind me.
"Yes Sybel is an apostate like me, as most of us are now lady Vivienne." I looked up and smiled at him. Seb wasn't the only one I had missed the last couple days.
"A shame. It would have been interesting to see how much further you would have went in your training if you where in the circle." I felt Solas grab my arm and move me behind him, it was like he could tell I was seeing red again.
"Yes well, we shall continue this conversation later. I need to steal Sybel for a moment." Seb gave Solas a thankful look as he led me away from the large group and into town. As we walked away all I could hear was my brother speaking harshly to Vivienne.
"I've already told you Vivienne to never talk to my sister about the Circle. I will not warn you another time." I smiled and kept walking. It was nice to have Seb try to avert people from talking to me about such things. I already know I would never have made the Harrowing and the constant closeness of Templar's would have my nerves frayed. Solas brought me outside of his cabin and we sat on the ledge.
"Would you like me to talk about the one thing she is afraid of?" I smiled at him and listened to him talk about the Fade until the sun went down then went to talk with Seb back in our cabin.
"Where are we heading next?" I called from the door as I took my boots off. I could see Seb drinking an ale as he looked over a map.
"Redcliffe. I'm just trying to think of who should come with us." I striped down to my under clothes and put on a pair of doe skinned britches and thin white cotton shirt. I brushed out my hair and walked back over to sit down at the table he was at in front of his bed.
"I am going to assume we are coming back before the time rip so Varric would be less annoying then Sera in a post apocalyptic world and from what I can remember Solas is good to have with the lightning. Cassandra would be needed but if you wanted something with a harder hit we would need to snag Bull before we make the second trip to Redcliffe." He nodded and finally looked at me, fear was shinning in his eyes.
"I don't know if I can do what I have to do." I gave him a sad smile and held his hand.
"You're going to have to if you want to side with the mages. It's either time ripe where no one gets hurt or a big battle where people will die to get the Templar's." He nodded again and squeezed my hand hard.
"How much would you hate me if I made you stay behind?"
"You wouldn't get the chance to find out. I'm going with you and you can't force me not to." He sighed and muttered about how it sucked his mind tricks wouldn't work on me. I laughed and ruffled his hair as I left to head to the new bed that was in the other corner of the room.
"So when do we leave?" I called from my bed.
"Tomorrow." Was all he said and I turned over to get some rest.
The next day I brought my pack down to the stable where everyone was meeting and saddled my horse.
"Sorry I haven't been down to see you. I was busy with some things." She snorted and ate the apple I snagged from the table this morning. Everyone else started to pile in to get there horses ready and Seb barged into my stall, almost earning him a kick from Buttercup.
"Please reconsider." He whispered in my ear.
"You know you will fail if I don't come. Who else is going to shove you back after everything goes to shit"
"You saw it?" My eyes narrowed at such a blunt wording for it and I nodded my head in answer, I had the vision for it this morning. He loosed a breath and walked away to find his horse. I jumped on Buttercup and found Solas staring at me.
"What was that about?"
"Nothing, Seb is just in a bad mood and doesn't want me to come." I rode Buttercup out of the barn and into the chilly air.
The ride to the Hinterlands was faster than the walk. We made it to the crossroads just as the sun was setting and rode the next day until we made it to the gates of Redcliffe.
"Seb wait! Something doesn't feel right." I shouted out to him as we rode closer to the gate. I was getting the feeling like I was forgetting something really important from this mission.
"She is right, something feels wrong." Solas said as his horse became nervous.
"We will dismount and walk the rest of the way then. Be ready for anything." Anything was what happened. The rift opened as we walked a little farther and spooked the horses. We had to let them run so we could fight the wave of demons running at us. I realized too late that it was the rift I was forgetting about. The time moving fast was ok but when time froze for a couple seconds it felt like my lungs where going to burst. When Seb finally closed it all of us where exhausted from fighting.
"What the hell was that?" Varric said as he got his horse and calmed it down.
"I don't know but we are about to find out." Cassandra said as we all walked into the camp. The first thing we heard was children's laughter, then people talking and doing chores. It was like the moment we walked through the gates we where in a different world. A world where the sky didn't rip and demons weren't killing everyone. We went to the tavern after asking one of the guards to fetch Enchanter Fiona for us. Me and Seb tried to sound shocked when she said the rebel mages where now under the control of a Tevinter Magister. We met with Alexius and Seb talked with him as we all hung back. Solas looked like he had a sour taste in his mouth as we listened to them speak. Felix snuck the note to Seb and got carted away by his father and Seb told us to go to the Chantry. When we walked in we found Dorian just as he was finished killing a demon.
"Oh good, your here now. Could you help me close this?" We all jumped into the fray as another wave of demons came through. Time once again was slowing down and speeding up as it did outside the gates and Seb closed the rift with a snap.
"How does that work exactly? You don't even know do you? Just wiggle your fingers and bam, rift closed." I laughed at the description because it was so accurate. I loved Dorian. He always had such a blunt way of saying things. Everyone was so busy talking about time travel that they didn't notice me collecting the items the demons dropped. Some of them had gold! I was just finishing up grabbing the last item when everyone turned to leave and Seb started laughing at me.
"I know you get bored easily but are you seriously picking up things when we are talking about time travel?" Another laugh and I shrugged.
"There is a giant tare in the sky from the fade and you want me to be surprised about time travel? You guys are crazy if you are surprised any more." I said with a huge smile. Varric shook his head at me and led the way out of the Chantry.
"The fact that you aren't surprised Frosty, means the world is more messed up then you think."
"The world was already messed up Varric, most of you are just seeing it now instead of before like the rest of us." Solas laughed at me as we left to make our way back to the crossroads.
We made camp for the day at the edge of the Crossroads and Cassandra sent a raven to Haven to explain what we had learned in Redcliffe. I was just finishing up pitching my tent when Seb called that he was going to hunt for our supper to save us some money and Varric went with him. Cassandra claimed she needed to do more paperwork so that left Solas to hang out with.
"Do you want to come into town with me? I need to sell some stuff and maybe get a new staff." He gave me one of his rare smiles that went to his eyes.
"Of course. Someone needs to come with you to make sure you don't get into trouble." I rolled my eyes and walked with him to the vendors. By now I had found and sold enough to have a good amount of gold burning a hole in my pocket. Solas left me for a little bit to find something as I walked along the shops until one caught my attention. I shouldn't have been seeing this staff till later in the game when I was a 'higher level' but here it was.
"Excuse me? How much for this staff?" The man seemed to be wondering the same thing and was scratching his beard.
"Hmm I don't remember having it. How about two thousand gold?" Solas came back when the man said the price and made a sound like I was being ripped off but I knew better. It looked like a regular staff but this was Mindchill, A rare staff you find in a random chest and one of the better staves in the game. I handed him the money and took the Staff from him and sold him my other one. Solas kept looking at me like I was crazy to spend two thousand gold on a staff when Seb freaked out. He had come back with food and noticed the staff.
"Where did you get that you little shit!" He ran over and grabbed it from me and looked at it closely.
"I don't understand what is so amazing about this particular staff." Solas said as he passed everyone else to put something in his pack.
"You don't understand! This is Mindchill. Me and Sybel looked for it forever so she would have a crazy powerful staff. Where did you find this!" Seb was practically drooling on it so I plucked it from his fingers.
"At the stalls down the road. The guy didn't even know what he had and sold it dirt cheap." I put it on my back and walked over to Varric and helped him pluck the birds they caught.
As night fell so did the sounds coming from the crossroads. Solas was telling me more stories about a battle from long ago that he learned about in the fade while Seb and Varric chatted about something on the other side of the fire. Cassandra was to the left of us sharpening her sword when I heard a snap behind me.
I turned to look at what it was but it was too dark to see anything and I focused back on the story. The back of my neck started to tingle like someone was watching me and I rubbed at it to relieve some of the tension. Seb looked up and noticed my movements and stood up and walked over to me.
"What do you feel?" He asked as he knelt down beside me. Everyone looked at us but I only looked at my twin. If I lied and said it was nothing I could very well let someone in our group die if it wasn't nothing.
"I feel like someone is watching me..." I said in a small voice. I didn't like how blunt he was being lately. He drew he daggers and shouted into the woods.
"We know you're out there! You can either walk away with your life right now or die by our hands." The silence that followed afterwards was long and I almost told him I must have imagined it when there was the sound of people moving through the bushes.
Everyone stood and drew there weapons as at least ten bandits walked into view.
"There are only five of you and you think you can take all us on?" He laughed at Seb and motioned for the other bandits to attack.
The small camp was filled with shouting as the men came running in to attack. Solas grabbed my arm and pulled me back to stand behind Cassandra and started blasting the group with his electric blasts. I shot multiple blasts of ice at the bandits feet closest to Seb and popped barriers up along everyone. There leader yelled to kill the mages first and four of them rounded on us. Varric shouted for us just as a bandit came swinging with a large hammer right at our heads. We ducked and I stabbed the large man in behind the knee with my new staff blade, Solas lit him on fire as he smashed into the ground. Varric shot down a couple that where flanking us and Cassandra kicked one into Seb's daggers. The fight was going in our favor until the leader stepped out of the shadows right behind me.
"Let her go!" Seb yelled but the leader just laughed and held a dagger to my throat. I froze and held up my hands, dropping my staff.
"Good girl, you understand how this is going to go don't you dear? You all are going to hand over all your gold and valuables and I'll let this little lady go." My brother took a step forward and I yelped as the blade went in farther.
"iras?" Solas asked in elven and I looked at him with a smile. Visions of all possible outcomes flashing through my head. I braced myself and answered
"dirash em. tundra." Solas looked shocked but held up his hand and blasted me with an electric shock. The bandit dropped me in surprise and Seb threw one of his daggers square in the mans chest just as Varric shot a bolt into one of his eyes. Cassandra ran to me and rolled me over.
"Thank the maker you are alright!" Cassandra shouted. I dipped my head back to Solas and smiled.
"Solas, remind me not to bother asking you to be gentle if you're just going to be rough with me." Solas rolled his eyes as I laughed and Cassandra hit me.
"I thought Solas killed you! Do not do that to me!" She helped me up and I gave an apologetic look as I brushed dirt from my armor.
"Sorry Cassandra, to be fair I didn't know Varric also knew what I said."
"I learned from Daisy a couple years back, she only taught me the basics so I understood enough of what you said to act on the plan." Cassandra glared at all of us and stomped over to the closest body to begin searching it.
"I am surprised Varric, most elves don't even know elven." I agreed and went to help Cassandra.
"You pick up on it the more you are around people who speak it and learn the occasional word." He smiled and left to move some of the bodies we emptied
We made quick work of the bandits and dumped them a little ways into the woods outside our came. I began summoning water while they moved them to wash away the blood and Solas dried the ground. After a couple of minutes we finally sat back down and all looked at each other, not knowing what to do.
"So is anyone going to ask the question?" Cassandra asked as she cleaned her sword to start sharpening it again. Me and Seb locked eyes from across the fire, hand slowly moving to a better position to knock out Cassandra if he needed to.
"What? How are we still alive?" Varric joked from his spot next the Seb.
"No Varric, I know we are all skilled fighters and can handle our own in a fight but I was wondering how Sybel is still alive from being electrocuted and why Solas did it without thinking." I tried with all my might to hold my laugh behind my hand. Seb moved his hand back to rest it behind him.
"I know Sybel joked about me hitting her hard but I asked her where to hit and she said to hit her. I knew I could hit her without harming her and make it look like I hit her hard. Thus causing the bandit to drop her. The fact that Sybel was able to joke about it after just means I didn't hit her as hard as you think." He gave me a half-hearted glare and I winked at him.
"Well can we not do something like that again? I would rather know what the plan is next time."
"We will keep that in mind the next time one of us has a knife to our throats Seeker." Varric said with a thick sarcastic tone. We all laughed but Cassandra just huffed and walked over to her tent.
The next day we got word that we where to head to pick up Blackwall and then head to the storm coast to talk with Bull while the rest of the group thought of a way for us to get into the castle to stop Alexius. It was pretty easy to get Blackwall to join us and he came with us to the storm coast after killing a couple bandits in front of him. I had to admit it was a bit hard to call him Blackwall when you knew his real name but I gladly didn't slip up this time.
The whole journey to the storm coast Seb was chatting it up with him like he was his biggest fan and yes I don't have a problem with him but I would never kiss his ass the way Seb was. I kept quiet the entire ride to the coast thinking about our time here. I missed home terribly as we rode in the cold rain all day.
My mind seemed to bounce between the missed comforts of home and the life we now lived here. I wish Solas was riding next to me but he was also talking with Blackwall and Cassandra refused to talk to me. So I rode Buttercup at the back of the train of our group and sulked. My mind finally drifted to Solas and how close we where getting. From small talk to staying up each night talking about the meaning of life or meeting in the fade to show me pieces of lost knowledge he found. There where times that he would kindly decline our hang outs to be alone but they where pretty rare. I felt bad stealing him away from his true purpose. I never thought I would feel bad about stalling his plans to destroy the world.
The more I thought about it the more depressed and irritable I became. I hated when I got in these moods, they would last for days sometimes and all I wished was to be by the water to calm myself. As much as I loved the rain, it was doing nothing to help my mood. I would rather not yell at anyone or get emotional for no reason so I made a point to stay away from everyone so I wouldn't snap.
We finally made camp and met with Scout Harding to get an idea of how bad it was here. We where a full day ahead of schedule for meeting Bull and the chargers so we took the day as a break. I was about to ask Seb if he wanted to go down to the water and relax with me but found him still talking with Blackwall and Varric. I also didn't feel like seeing Solas so I walked out of camp and up the hill to over look the ocean, hoping it would be close enough to calm me. It wasn't. I was completely soaked from the rain by the time I made it to the top and went to the ocularum. We had grabbed all the shards from the Hinterlands and I wanted to mark all the ones here as well.
"Do you feel the strange power coming from the skulls?" I jumped and spun around to find Solas directly behind me. He smiled when I glared at him.
"I will have to remember that you can not hear me in the rain ma' falon." My heart squeezed at him calling me that. I laughed nervously as I looked through the skulls and wrote down there locations.
"Add beside the oceans crazy waves and howling winds to that list of things to remember." I folded the map and put it in my side pouch before turning back to him. "Is there something you needed?" He gave me a funny look and walked to stand more beside me, looking out to the water.
"Did we ever need a reason to seek each others company the last couple weeks?"
"True. I thought you would want to be alone as you often do." I shouldn't have said that. I knew he wasn't really leaving to be alone but to send messages to his spy's. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for that to come out the way it did. I indulge in too much of your company as it is. If I hung out with someone like me I would run for alone time as well." I turned and gave him a smile but he frowned at me.
"Do you truly think that about yourself? That you are a burden more than a friend?" My smile dropped. I did often think that way, thinking the only person who truly wanted to be around me was my twin.
"Yes." Was my only reply as I turned back to the water and fiddled with the end of my braid. I didn't know what else to say. How does one tell someone that they don't feel like they belonged here, belonged anywhere If I was being honest. My thoughts must have been painted on my face because his next words shocked me.
"I would rather your company than anyone else in our group. You do not want knowledge to push your own personal gain, you ask for it just so you can learn. You do not wish death on people who would have you killed but to have them right there wrongs. You also take things into your own hands so no one but you will get hurt. Even though you have been hurt and almost died you came back from it again and again, you want to help others instead of hating the world. It's hard to not like these quality's in a person."
"I am none of these things you see in me. I have wished death upon many who have wronged me. Me putting myself in danger is stupid and reckless and just proves I put my life lower than everyone else's. The only reason it looks like I keep coming back perfectly fine is because I really am still broken and no matter what I do I can't become more shattered than I already am. I also hate this world. If I could I would smash it to pieces and make a new one." I snapped out the end of my rant and walked away before I could say more. I didn't understand what had come over me as I was listening to Solas talk about me like I was the best person ever. I didn't hear him follow as I stomped into camp.
"Hey Harding? You got a spare bow I could use and a bag?" She was shocked at my question but went to a tent that held all the spare equipment and came back with a bow and quiver full of arrows and a large hunting bag.
"Thanks, can you do me a favor and not tell my brother I'm going into the woods? I don't want him to worry about me and I need to blow off steam." She nodded and went back to her post as I stalked into the wood. I could hear Solas finally coming back into the camp and ask Harding where I was going but she didn't answer him. Good, I didn't want him to follow me either.
I jogged for a couple minutes until I was at the base of a hill and surrounded my trees. I lifted the bow and grabbed one of my arrows and followed the tracks of a goat. There was a quiet that always came over me while I hunted. Like there was nothing wrong in the world. No scared past, no demons trying to kill me and no crazy mood swings that make my head spin or confusing feelings for a certain elf. Just a girl out hunting for food.
It was a couple hours later I was silently stalking through the trees and was about to take a shot at my third goat when I heard a snap behind me. I spun and aimed at the thicker part of trees the sound came from. I could hear the footsteps moving closer and recognized who it was and fired my arrow right in there path, stopping them from moving.
"What do you want Solas?" I called out and he walked out of his hiding place twirling the arrow.
"I didn't realize you where so good with a bow. What other weapons can you use?" I ignored his question like he ignored mine and pulled another arrow from my quiver and shot the goat I was hunting without taking my eyes off his. It went down after a quick bleat. I walked over and skinned it, then gutted it with the small dagger I kept in my boot. I was half-way through cutting up the meat when he finally walked up beside me.
"I am sorry if I upset you." I cleaned my knife and put the meat and pelt in the small bag I carried with me and walked away. He followed after me and grabbed my hand.
"Why are you walking away from me?"
"Because Solas, I don't think it is wise for us to get any closer than we already are." His brows were raised in shock and he took a step closer. I froze in place, not knowing what to do. Something like this never happened in the game. I thought if I backed down then he would agree like he would in game. He took a deep breath and reached up to cup my face. Friends didn't touch each other like this I thought as rain pelted down on us and thunder rumbled in the distance.
"Why are you running from me?" He tilted my face so I was forced to look at him.
"Because I'm scared." The words left my mouth before I could think to stop them. I could see the shock cross his face.
"Scared if what ma' fenor." My face went red and I felt my whole body go ridged. He smiled and rubbed his thumb on my cheek in a soothing stroke.
"I know I told Seb that I was going to get close to people but I am afraid to get close... to you..." I didn't meet his eyes as I said it. I could feel his hands loosen on my face and I backed up out of his reach. I could feel how red my face was as I walked away without saying another word. I didn't look back even after he called my name.
The cold rain cooled my heated face by the time I got back to camp. I handed the bow back to Harding and dumped the meat on the table near the main tent. I slowly walked into my tent and peeled off the wet armor and underclothes and hung them up. When I finally found a dry pair of green leggings and a white cotton shirt I laid down in the firs I used as a bed. I laid there for a couple moments trying and failing to calm my racing heart.
Why did I feel this way? I had told myself in the beginning it was dangerous to get close to the Dreadwolf and I didn't listen. Was I really forming feelings for him? Was he really developing feelings for me? I could feel the blush creeping up my face the more I thought about it. My fingers caressed the spot he held so gently before scrubbing at my face like I could whip away the feelings and I swore. All this worrying was making me so tired. As my eyes began to droop closed I could have sworn I heard him say my name on the wind. I woke up a couple hours later to Seb moving my hair from my face.
"Hey twin, you want to come eat?" I squinted to see his face in the dark and realized I had been out for longer than I intended. "Are you ok?" I shook my head and sat up. I fixed my hair into its usual braid.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I shook my head again and walked with him into the camp.
The rain had stopped long enough to cook food and let us eat outside our tents. I grabbed the bowl of stew from Varric and went to sit down in my usual spot next to Solas when I froze, he looked up at me with a soft smile. I ended up sitting a couple meters from him and everyone else. I could feel everyone looking at me funny but I didn't care. After the way he talked to me in the woods I couldn't sit so close to him without blushing. Without thinking Seb left his spot and sat next to me and started talking about random things. I gave him a half smile and ate my food in silence.
When I finished I just got up and walked back to my tent without saying goodnight to anyone. No one bothered to check on me and I was grateful. I waited for everyone to say goodnight before I snuck out of my tent with my staff and made the small walk down to the beach. The moons where shining through the clouds as I found a large tipped over dead tree to sit on as I watched the waves roll in and out. I was smart and put up a ward to tell me when someone got to close.
After a while of watching the waves I got bored and walked over to them, getting my feet and the bottom of my leggings wet with the freezing water. I could feel the balmy wind rip at my clothes and my braid as I stared at the large waves crash just before my feet. I always felt better when I was near water. I know my magic had a hand in that and was grateful I had something to sooth me.
My mind began to wander as I splashed my feet around a bit. With the irritation gone and the soothing song of the ocean in my ears, everything I was feeling earlier didn't seem like such a big deal.
The alarm went off in my head as one person went through my ward and I sighed, already guessing who it was and realizing I was going to be dealing with things sooner than I thought.
"Do you ever look at the raging expanse of waves and water and feel your own storm inside calm?" I called over my shoulder as I took another step forward.
"I feel the same with thunderstorms." Solas answered from a couple feet away.
"I'm surprised you are following me. You are making me suspect you like my company more than you are letting on." I looked back at him as he was frowning at the depth of water I was standing in.
"I heard you leaving camp alone and I got worried." My heart hammered in my chest for just a moment before the waters calming effects took back over.
"Mhmm." Was my only answer as I walked down the beach in the ankle deep water. As long as I stayed in the water I would feel calm and in control.
"Sybel could you please come out of the water, you're going to catch your death in the cold." My laugh came out as light as I felt inside and I turned to him.
"You're telling the women who wields ice and water that the cold is bad? I've tasted your magic Solas. I think it's time for you to taste mine." I ran onto shore and grabbed onto his hand and pulled him with me into the water. He yelped as his feet touched the frigidness of it and I laughed.
"How are you standing in this? I get we can handle the elements better but this is almost too much for even me." I giggled and dared to keep hold his hand as I walked him down the shore.
"I told you, my ice magic does more for me than kill people or cool down a drink." He slowly got used to the temperature and didn't shiver as much.
"I'm sorry about earlier. I wasn't myself and knew I would speak and act in a way that wasn't me. When I'm like that I always go and do this, be by the water or in it but I thought I could make it until now to come down here. What ever they did to me changed something in my brain. Made me irritable, fighting everyone even when I'm screaming at myself to say something else. The only time I feel like myself, the way I used to be is when I'm like this." I gestured at the water around my ankles and took a deep breath. Loving everything in this moment. The frigid cold at my feet, the wind ripping at my clothes, the sound and smell of the ocean and the feeling of his callused fingers laced through mine.
In the water everything seemed easy, like feeling something for Solas wasn't such a big deal. Like I didn't have to be afraid of what would happen in the future or how I would get home.
"I understand. More then you think." He squeezed my hand and gently pulled me out of the water and towards the path back to our camp. I could feel the waters calming effect slowly leaving the closer we got to camp but I still had something I needed to tell him.
"Hey Solas?" I stopped him with a tug before we could enter the camp.
"Mhmm?"
"I don't think you are a monster as much as you think." There was a long pause before I felt him tug my hand closer to him as his other arm enveloped me in a hug. This time I hugged him back as he rested his head on mine and he took a deep breath before he spoke.
"I don't think you realize how much I appreciate the companionship you offer. I will never take from you what you are not willing to give me." I wished in that moment I could tell him everything. Tell him I knew who he was and that if we kept down the path we where on I would give him anything and everything. We stood there in each others arms for a moment in a comfortable silence until I yawned. Solas laughed and walked me back to my tent, kissed my hand and bid me goodnight before heading to his.