Chapter 4 - You May Call Me Bwynvienne

Before Shinji could get too carried away, Asuka reached out and slapped him across the back of the head. He stopped screaming and winced, bringing a hand up to where he was slapped, and gave her a confused look.

"What are you, stupid?" she asked. "Can't you work out who this is?"

Shinji blinked owlishly at her, to which Asuka gave an exasperated groan and picked up the contract. "Look, right here," she said, pointing at a certain bit of text.

If at any time the details of this pact are called into argument, or an attempt to alter the pact is made, an agent of the Infernal Administration must be at hand to oversee the negotiations.

Now Shinji felt dumb. That had been the line that had impressed upon the both of them that whoever had created the contract had put time and effort into it.

"Oh," he lamely said. "Um... sorry."

"At least one of you has a decent head on their shoulders," the newcomer remarked as she hopped down off the back of the chair to sit in it properly. Asuka turned her attention back to the woman. Or rather, as Shinji swiftly noticed, the woman's hair. He carefully prevented a chuckle escaping at what appeared to be jealousy.

The woman smoothed out a crease in her pants before speaking. "You may call me Bwynvienne." She gave a slight tilt of her head in greeting. "Since there appears to be both a dispute over the contract, and an attempt to alter it, I am here to adjudicate."

"Straight to business then?" asked Asuka, to which Bwynvienne nodded. The girl then handed over the contract before retreating to the other couch. "We need to dissolve this contract. To cut a long story short, monsters are attacking, we're fighting back in giant biomechanical robots, and we're the only ones capable of piloting them."

She pointed at Shinji. "Without a soul, Shinji here has been rendered almost completely ineffective, since he can't use one of the robot's primary tools. I want to give him his soul back."

"You should have thought of that before signing," Bwynvienne remarked as her gaze swept over the contract. She suppressed a smirk, but Shinji didn't understand what there was to grin about.

"Well neither of us even knew that the soul existed," argued Asuka. "Or that something I found on the internet would actually work."

"Internet?" Bwynvienne frowned, looking up at the two teenagers.

"A world-wide computer network system," Shinji explained. "It lets us electronically communicate all across the globe."

"Oh, that. We have something similar, it's just called something else."

"Anyway," continued Asuka. "I saw somebody give someone else a contract that looked just like the one in your hand. I found a copy of it on the internet and showed Shinji because it looked ridiculous."

Shinji jumped in with his side of the story. "I printed it out, signed it, and mailed it to Asuka. She signed it then sent me the promised chocolate."

"You obviously didn't believe your soul was worth much if you sold it for some confections," Bwynvienne quipped.

"We didn't believe the contract was worth much," Asuka corrected. "We thought it was just a product of somebody with a vivid imagination and too much time on their hands."

"Hrmm." Bwynvienne put the contract down and leaned back in the chair, bringing her hands together in front of her face. She tapped her index fingers together. "An interesting story, but there's one problem with it. You're lying to me about something."

Asuka flinched slightly as the woman leaned forward and levelled a steely glare at her. "W-what?!" she stammered. "What am I lying about?"

"Don't try and play dumb. I've had hundreds of years experience in the Infernal Resources department. I can tell when somebody's not being straight with me. You claimed that neither of you knew the soul existed, but we both know the truth, don't we?"

Shinji turned a shocked look onto his roommate, who blushed and looked away. "Is... that true?"

"...Yeah," Asuka dully replied, before she looked up angrily. "But it wasn't out of malice, it was a NERV security thing! I wasn't allowed to discuss anything about being a pilot. Hell, I even had to give you a fake name! I couldn't work out what to say when you asked me, so I decided to be careful by lying to you."

Shinji stared silently at her for a moment, before sighing and rubbing the back of his head. "Well, I can't say I would have believed you if you had told the truth. Not without a way to back it up."

"Which I wouldn't have been able to give anyway." Asuka turned to Bwynvienne. "Wait, I gave a false name. Wouldn't that make the contract void, since 'Agatha' doesn't exist?"

Bwynvienne smiled. "Actually, our paperwork allows for... alternative names. Aliases and such. My full and official name is far longer than just what I've told you. Infernals live a very long time, and pick up quite a few extensions to their names. Even if you're only writing it once, some names can take up a paragraph or more. Besides, you received the contract, signed it, and delivered the good requested in trade. For the purposes of the contract, you are Agatha."

"Oh. Shit."

Shinji was thinking the same thing about another potential avenue being closed down. "Well... are you able to help us at all?" he asked of Bwynvienne. "It's really important that I get my soul back. I can't do the job I was brought here for."

"I understand that," Bwynvienne replied, before letting out a sigh accompanied by a small shake of her head. "Unfortunately, I'm unable to void this contract."

"Why the hell not?!" Asuka exploded.

The literally flame-haired woman gave her a frosty look. "The contract can only be voided during the cooling-off period, or if it is discovered that one of the signers was either under duress or maliciously ill-informed about the contract. Both of you read and understood the contract just fine, neither of you were forced to sign, and we've settled the lie of omission in a satisfactory manner."

"Wait, how do you know neither of us was forced to sign?" Shinji confusedly asked. "We didn't see you when we put our signature on the contract."

"When a contract is being signed, we are given pertinent information about the situation to ensure no duress or lies. If one of those had happened, the contract would have never come into effect. You may not see the Infernal Administration, but rest assured we see you."

"That's... not very assuring," Shinji mumbled.

Asuka's eyes widened. "You mean you knew already exactly what I was lying about?"

Bwynvienne nodded. "Correct. I simply wanted you to come clean about it."

The younger redhead collapsed back into her chair and groaned. "So what the hell are we supposed to do? He needs his soul back and I can't give it to him. Just how long are we going to have to wait?"

"Five years. After that, the contract's lock wait expires and a new pact can be formed."

"Great, we might all be dead by then..." Asuka's eyes stared blankly at the ceiling for a few seconds, then she got to her feet. "Wait, can't we just make a new contract? One where I give him back his soul in exchange for..." She waved her arms about. "...something?"

Bwynvienne shook her head sadly. "While that would be a way to deal with your problem," she cleared her throat, and began to sound as if she was quoting something, "no party to a contract involving a transferral of souls may enter into another such contract within five years of entering into the first."

Once again, Asuka fell back into her chair. "Well we're screwed then."

"Hang on," Shinji cut in. "If the contract is only active for a certain amount of time, wouldn't I get my soul back anyway once the contract dissolves?"

"No. The transferral of a soul is permanent," Bwynvienne clarified. "The contract itself is there to stop rapid soul collection; something we once had problems with a very long time ago." She gave a helpless shrug. "I wish I could help you, I really do. But these things are taken very seriously. It would require the intervention of somebody much higher up the Administration's ladder to even consider prematurely dissolving the contract, and they're all too important to waste time on insects like you. Their words, not mine, sorry."

Shinji slouched forward and sighed. "It's fine... it's not your fault."

Asuka looked like she was about to say something, but before a sound could leave her mouth, the front door of their new apartment opened and three men in black suits stormed in. Shinji and Asuka got to their feet to see what the commotion was, but the agents of Section Two were already at the entrance to the lounge room, aiming their pistols at the back of the Infernal's head. The one on the left, as far as Shinji could tell, was the same man who had carried Misato to her apartment.

Bwynvienne turned in her seat and glared at the intruders. "If you don't mind, I'm in the middle of a meeting," she said in the tone of an angry teacher catching a student talking during class.

The tallest agent seemed immune to her matronly glare, as he shouted, "Step away from the Children and place your hands behind your head!"

She slowly stood up, keeping her eyes on the agents, and crossed her arms as she stood before them. "I don't appreciate interruptions, young man."

The agent placed his index finger on his weapon's trigger. "Final warning. Move away from the Children!"

Bwynvienne's response was to simply keep staring at them.

"Open fire!"

The leftmost man's eyes widened and he lowered his weapon as he turned to the tall agent. "Wait, you idio-"

Five shots rang out through the apartment. Bwynvienne's hand flashed out as Shinji and Asuka dived to the ground. The agent that Shinji had recognised snatched the pistol from the tall man's hands, setting the safety on it before putting it in his own holster.

"You're a goddamn moron, Yoshida!" he snarled before turning to the third agent. "You and Kojiro! Negligent discharges!" Kojiro bowed his head in shame.

The two teenagers slowly got to their feet as the man harangued his fellow agents. As Asuka stood up straight, Shinji saw that her head was directly in line with Bwynvienne's right hand, still clenched and held out to her side, and he paled. His reaction was swiftly mirrored by the girl as she noticed just how close she had come to death.

A cellphone rang, shattering the awkward silence in a manner similar to the gunshots. The angry Section Two agent brought out his phone and answered it, quickly moving it away from his ear as somebody screamed into it. He glanced at the other two men and motioned for them to leave. Yoshida seemed about to argue, but he kept his mouth shut as the three exited the lounge room. A moment later, Shinji could just barely hear a familiar voice chewing them out in the kitchen.

Bwynvienne disgustedly said a word Shinji couldn't understand but knew to be a curse, before finally unclenching her hands. Several objects dropped to the ground; bullets, just as he expected. What was unexpected was the shape of them: five perfectly flat discs about half a centimetre thick. He stared at the woman in awe and just a little fear.

Here was a woman with burning hair, eyes that seemed to bore into his skull, who could catch bullets out of the air, and was likely immune to small-arms fire. And yet she had the appearance and demeanour of a mostly-friendly middle management office worker.

"Now then," she said, turning back to the teenagers as her cheery attitude resumed. "Again, I apologise. You'll simply have to find some other way to deal with your situation."

"Maybe Doctor Akagi will work something out," Shinji mused. "She's the head of the science team after all."

"Hmm." Asuka folded her arms, apparently deep in thought as a finger began tapping on her arm. She looked up at Bwynvienne. "Can I ask you something?"

"You just did, but I'll let you have another one."

Asuka faltered for a second, before plowing on. "If soul contracts actually work, meaning they can be given and taken, why aren't we seeing people gaining immense wealth and power?"

"Simple." The Infernal woman grinned. "Soul contracts can only happen like yours did, with both people receiving something. And a human can't simply give and take 'power' like you're thinking. Only Infernals can transfer power, and even then only to another Infernal. Wealth on the other hand... well, there's plenty of ways to get rich."

"I'm pretty sure most people don't really believe in souls anyway, so they wouldn't bother with a contract," said Shinji. "And those that do wouldn't want to give theirs up."

"I suppose," replied Asuka. "But still, by now there should have been at least one person." She waved a hand at the contract on the table. "I just found that on the internet after all."

"I... suppose I should reveal something," said Bwynvienne, starting to look somewhat sheepish. "This contract you signed, it shouldn't even be on your internet. It's supposed to only be used by Infernals, and only in a certain situation."

Asuka looked down at the contract, then back up at Bwynvienne. She narrowed her eyes. "What kind of situation?"

"Think about it. How did you learn about the contract?"

"A girl told their boyfriend to sign it," replied Shinji. "Asuka watched it happen."

"Yes. While that was slightly different to how we Infernals do it, the basic principle is still the same."

"What principle?!" Asuka stomped her foot petulantly. "Stop beating around the bush!"

"Start using your brain, young lady," Bwynvienne shot back. "Giving their soul, and getting something in return. Sometimes power, sometimes wealth or status; or simply companionship."

Companionship. Things began to come together in Shinji's mind. "Wait a minute," he slowly said. He had a feeling he was going to regret what he was about to say. Or rather, Asuka would make him regret it. But it needed to be said. "It's a marriage thing, isn't it?"

"Oh well done!" Bwynvienne clapped her hands, a smile painted on her face.

"W-w-w-what?!" Asuka shrieked. "You mean I'm m-m-married to this idiot?!"

That... stung. While Shinji had known Asuka for a long time, considering how they had communicated to each other for most of their lives he wasn't sure if she considered him a best friend, let alone anything more. He hadn't even begun to think of anybody in a romantic way, but he wasn't closed off to the idea. But hearing Asuka's voice practically dripping with disgust while saying what she just said, though... it hurt.

And it seemed to show on his face.

"Oh shit. Um..." Asuka was clearly trying to backpedal, to ease the pain of what she had just blurted out. "S-sorry Shinji, I didn't mean it like that! You're a nice enough person, you know, and we've known each other for a long time and such... I was just shocked at the fact that we're apparently married! I've never even thought about such a thing and we're fighting a war against Angels and there's more important things to think about and-"

"I'm going to stop you right there," Bwynvienne interjected, raising a hand. "Let me explain a bit. There's a lot more to an Infernal proposal than just signing a contract. The contract is an ancient tradition that's somehow held strong in our society for millennia. It involves a lot of formality and ritual proceedings like getting the parents' approval, a very specific dance, some dangerous tasks, and so on. The contract signing is just what happens at the end of it, and seals the deal, so to speak."

"So... we're not married?" Asuka asked, a hint of hope in her voice.

Bwynvienne hummed, her head tilting back and forth as she thought. "The answer you're looking for is 'no'. You're humans, and not in the Lower Planes. Sure, if you came to the Lower Planes and people saw the contract, they might ask when the wedding is, but that's not likely to happen. Right now, in your situation, the contract is nothing more than a trade agreement that involves a soul."

"...You thought about that when you first saw the contract, didn't you?" It wasn't really a question. Now that Shinji understood what the contract meant, he was able to work out what Bwynvienne had been smiling about earlier.

Bwynvienne blinked at him, then turned to Asuka. "Sure you don't want to marry him? He's pretty smart. Not bad looking either, but then I can't really judge a human's appearance."

"Can we stop talking about marriage now?!" The Second Child was starting to turn as red as her hair, and Shinji's own faces was heating up too.

"Very well. I believe I've overstayed my welcome, if those gentlemen are anything to go by," said Bwynvienne, hooking a thumb over her shoulder. "I do apologise for not being able to assist in your case, but there is nothing that can be done at this point in time. If you'd like, I can come back when your contract dissolves to help arbitrate a solution."

"If we're even freaking alive at that point, then sure," Asuka darkly muttered.

"Well then." Bwynvienne bowed deeply before the two of them, and Shinji forced his eyes away from the woman's... chest. "Farewell to the both of you, and I do hope to see you again in five years time."

Shinji blinked... and Bwynvienne disappeared. There was no flash, nothing to suggest she had teleported or anything. She was simply gone.

There was a nervous cough from the lounge room entrance. Shinji and Asuka both looked over to see Kojiro standing there.

"Captain Katsuragi has requested your presence at NERV headquarters," he said after clearly looking around for Bwynvienne and seeing nothing. "Please come with us."

XXX

It was two hours after the incident at the pilot's apartment. The MAGI had detected a Pattern Orange there, but despite the Second and Third Children clearly talking to somebody, there was apparently nothing besides them in the room according to the security camera that had been installed in their lounge room before they had moved in. Section Two had been scrambled, and had very nearly accidentally killed the Second Child. Yoshida had been fired on the spot, while Kojiro had 'merely' had to deal with being put on probation.

And an irate Misato.

Two hours later and the captain was still angry about it; perhaps wishing that Yoshida could have been fired in a more literal sense. An artillery battery had been mentioned.

Shinji and Asuka had been rushed to NERV Headquarters, where they had had to sit through what amounted to an interrogation. Since the security camera had somehow been unable to pick up Bwynvienne, the two pilots had to try and recreate her side of the conversation. Fortunately, Asuka's memory was better than Shinji's.

"Can we please go now?" Asuka tiredly begged as she dramatically collapsed forward on to the table in the briefing room.

"Soon," Misato promised. "Section Two is almost done checking your apartment."

"Why?" Shinji wondered. "Nothing happened there besides us talking to Miss Bwynvienne."

"It's just a precaution."

"Well they'd better not be slipping any more cameras in, especially in my bedroom," said Asuka, not bothering to lift her head up. "Bad enough that you're spying on us, I don't want to have to worry about perverts too."

"They're not sneaking cameras into your bedrooms," Misato exasperatedly replied. "Give us some credit. Besides, you two are crucial NERV assets. We need to keep eyes on you. Why do you think there's always a Section Two detail somewhere near you?"

Asuka shifted her head slightly so she could stare at her guardian. "If we're so important, can we get paid more?" Misato just stared back at her until she shrugged as best as she could and said, "Well, it was worth a shot."

Shinji spoke up. "Would this be enough to prove to people that Asuka does have my soul?"

Misato opened her mouth, then closed it and thought for a few seconds. "Look, at this point I already believe you. Convincing Ritsuko on the other hand... I think only she herself would be able to do that. The moment everything settled down she left to look into the incident in her own way." She gave an encouraging smile. "Call me optimistic though. I think it'll just be a matter of time before she finds something science-y to prove it."

Asuka pushed herself up off the table so she was sitting properly again. "So is that it? Are we just going to sit around doing nothing until those black-suited morons finish messing up our apartment?"

"You don't have to stay here, but you can't go home." Misato paused, before giving a small chuckle at what she just said. "Go get some food or something. I'll come get you when we can leave."

Getting to her feet, Asuka said, "That's all I need to hear. Come on, Shinji. I'm feeling a little peckish."

XXX

"I'm no longer feeling peckish."

Shinji stared at the two large empty ice-cream bowls on the table in front of Asuka. "I'm sure there's a logical explanation for that."

"Smart-ass," Asuka shot back, before stifling a burp. "Oogh, I've had worse, but I've also had better. Sure you don't want anything?"

He shook his head before resting his chin on his hand. "I'm not hungry right now," he replied before gazing out across the mess hall. This late at night, the two teenagers were the only people there. The chef on duty had quickly wiped an annoyed look off his face when Asuka had simply asked for some dessert. The ice-cream had been produced, Asuka had walked off happily, and the chef had returned to reading his book somewhere in the kitchen.

Asuka must have caught his expression, because she leaned into his view. "You okay?"

"Hmm?" Shinji turned back to her. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just wondering what they're going to do with me. There's no point in me being here if I can't fight. I'm pretty sure they'd send out Ayanami while she's still injured before they'd send me."

"You mean the First Child? I'd heard she was hurt, but just how bad is it?"

Shinji sighed as he recalled the incident in Unit-01's cage. "I don't know the details myself, but they had to wheel her out on a gurney. Bandages all over her, including an eyepatch and a cast on her arm."

Asuka's voice lowered to a dangerous tone. "What. The fuck?! They were going to make someone fight in an Eva in that condition?!"

"Probably," replied Shinji. "I'd just said that there was no way I could pilot after, you know, literally only just finding out that Evas existed. My... father decided I was useless and told somebody to bring Ayanami out."

Asuka blinked at him. "It was blackmail," she growled.

"What?"

"Blackmail. If the First Child was really in that kind of condition, there's no way she could have put up a fight against the Third Angel. She was trotted out in front of you deliberately." Asuka began speaking deeply, mimicking a male voice. "Get in the fucking robot, Shinji. Or we'll send this cripple out to die."

"Well it worked," Shinji bitterly said, eyes looking into the past. "When she was wheeled out I moved towards her to see what was going on. Something happened on the surface and the cage shook violently enough to knock us off our feet. I just made it in time to catch Ayanami when she fell off the gurney." Shinji stared down at his hands. "She was still bleeding. Some of it got on me, and she was clearly in pain." His hands clenched into fists. "I just couldn't let her go out instead of me."

He got an appraising look from Asuka. "So you took her place anyway."

"I wouldn't let her get hurt again just because I was being stubborn. So I got in the robot." He leaned back in his chair and threw up a hand in exasperation. "And then I went out and got my butt kicked. What a wonderful start to my NERV career," he finished with a groan.

"Yeah, I saw the footage," Asuka mirthfully replied, which made Shinji groan again; this time from embarrassment. "You moved with all the grace of a broken telephone pole." She held an arm upright, then slowly brought it down to horizontal, letting out a descending whistle that ended as her hand slapped the table.

Shinji covered his face with his hands. "Not my finest moment," he mumbled.

"Good news and good news, you two!" came a familiar voice from the mess hall door.

The two teenagers turned to look. Misato was headed towards them, weaving through the mess hall at a fast pace before coming to a stop at their table.

"I just got word from Section Two," she said. "We can go home whenever we want."

"Finally!" Asuka cheered, raising her hands to the heavens.

"What's the other bit of good news?" asked Shinji.

"I asked Ritsuko about Rei," replied Misato. "She said the First Child should be out of hospital next week."

Raising an eyebrow in confusion, Shinji said, "Huh? Already? She looked half-dead when I last saw her."

"Weelllll..." Misato waggled a hand in a so-so gesture. "She'll be out of the hospital, yeah, but she won't be fully recovered for a little while longer. Broken bones take time, you know."

"Ah, that makes more sense."

"Speaking of which, I forgot to say this earlier. Good work on catching Ayanami when she fell off the gurney. The doctors said the landing might have aggravated her injuries even more. Maybe even re-broken her arm."

"Wow, what a hero," Asuka remarked in a deadpan tone. "I sure hope you'll come to my aid like that."

"Of course I will," Shinji immediately replied, an honest tone of frankness in his words as he regarded the words of his friend with an odd look. "Why wouldn't I?"

Asuka began to blush at his sincerity and she quickly looked away. "Oh. Um..."

Misato glanced between the two of them and put a hand over her mouth to stifle a giggle. "Alright, enough flirting you two. Let's head home."

"Flirting?! With him?!"

"I-I wasn't flirting!"

Their guardian laughed all the way home.