Chapter 3
Even Heroes Have Needs
Sometimes having a lot of money can be good, but oftentimes, having very little is bad. Today the Bikini Warriors and Reuben were running low on money again.
"We're totally broke," sobbed Fighter.
"So what now?" asked Mage, blinking a few tears from her eyes.
"Well, without cash, we can't afford to stay at any inns, but we gotta think like Aladdin instead," said Reuben.
"Who's Aladdin?" asked the Bikini Warriors.
"Oh, he was a thief, but he always looked to the bright side of life with a smile on his face," replied Reuben.
"That's, uh, reassuring for someone who's a thief," said Paladin.
"Yeah, I guess," added Dark Elf.
Then Reuben had a plan, he gathered his four lady friends together.
"Rather than take something that belongs to someone else, we can search a dungeon that has a massive treasure horde containing lots of gold and loot for us to sell to the highest bidder. That way, we'll be able to live like kings and queens in our own estate," he said in an audible whisper.
"Oh, I see what you're getting at, Reuben," replied Paladin, her eyes lighting up with anticipation.
"Of course. If we enter a dungeon, we'll be able to grab up the treasure and make it our own which any group of bandits left behind before moving on to their next raid," added Dark Elf.
"All right, then let's go everyone," said Reuben, and the five adventurers marched off to find the Bandits stronghold.
Once they arrived they could see the bandits moving about on their patrol, while keeping a low profile.
"So, how are we gonna get the gold for ourselves?" asked Mage, who seemed nervous.
"That's easy, Mage. You and I will hold our ground, while Fighter, Paladin, and Dark Elf create a distraction to draw them away from the entrance to their base. Once the main force is away, You and I will slip into the entrance undetected, and take out the reserve force. After that, the three of them will meet up with us after we leave a trail of our footprints for them to follow to their treasure room. When we've got as much of the gold we can hold, that's when we'll retrace our steps with the loot we've acquired," explained Reuben.
"Got it, Reuben. Let's do this," whispered Fighter.
The five of them got into position, for the plan to play out as best as they could. Then Paladin remembered Reuben's alternative for improvising a way to get the bandits' attention, and knew that if things went south in a hurry, she'd have to outfox them with her flirtatious mannerisms. Once she saw the signal, she joined Fighter and Dark Elf and drove most of the guards away from the stronghold, giving Reuben and Mage an opening.
"Now's our chance. Let's go!" said Reuben.
The two of them raced through the unguarded front entrance and were now deep underground in the stronghold. Using her water spells, Mage was able to take out most of the torches, except for one that was in Reuben's hand. Then they slowly walked down the room searching for the treasure in the long winding corridors. At last they could see the bandits' leader counting his well earned belongings, just in time for Reuben to toss his torch into the water below, causing a loud hiss of steam to echo.
"What was that?" the bandit leader asked.
Before he could react, Reuben silently drew his sword, until he saw the head bandit walking past him and Mage, then he clonked him hard on the head with the pommel of his sword, and dragged his unconscious body away so that he wouldn't be a tripping hazard for the rest of his friends. Finally, the remaining Bikini Warriors arrived and were quite surprised to find the Bandit leader lying unconscious in his bed, as if he were asleep.
"Good, you guys made it, but you do kind of look like you had a bit of a fight ahead of you," he said.
Dark Elf smiled at him.
"Don't worry about it, Reuben. This plan of yours was actually perfect, thanks to your idea of having Paladin improvise so that we could eliminate the other bandits," she said.
"Yes, saying that I could improvise was actually a smart move on your part, Reuben," agreed Paladin.
"Well, at least we managed to take out the bandits before their leader found out what was going on outside," said Fighter.
Soon they gathered up as much of the gold coins as they could, and stuffed them into a pouch that they hoped would contain it all in one bag. Then they gathered up the many gemstones to put into a separate sack so that they could be sold to the nearest shopkeeper. As they walked out, the bandit leader slowly but surely began to stir, and sat up rubbing the back of his head where he had been hit, but Mage cast a sleeping spell on him to put him back to sleep, before he got a chance to stop them. Once they had left, the five of them exchanged a high five with each other, until Dark Elf gently kissed his forehead.
"That was a cleverly laid out plain you had, Reuben. In fact, your strategy was able to get us a motherload of treasure for us to find, despite our low funds," she said.
"Yeah, if it hadn't been for our distraction, things would have gone south in a hurry for all of us," added Fighter.
"At the very least, we bought you and Mage as much time as we could," agreed Paladin.
All right, then let's find us a sweet hotel, after we sell all these jewels we found," replied Reuben.
So they did just that, and soon they arrived at a fancy hotel that had a swimming pool for them, just as Fighter swam up to Reuben.
"Hey, Reuben. That group of bandits we fought against was actually pretty intense, but thanks to Dark Elf's healing magic, we were able to out fox them with everything we had," she said.
"Yeah, they'd have been done for if it hadn't been for your brilliant plan," added Dark Elf who sat next to him.
"Well, with lady luck on our side, things should be all right by tomorrow," replied Reuben, who was now lying on his back looking up into the sky above.
"Besides, we're all really happy to have someone like you on our side, fighting to protect those who are in danger of being ravaged by the darkness," said Mage.
"And that's something we love about you, thinking of ways to ensure that we're out of debt, especially with your unique talents aiding us against a common foe," agreed Paladin.
Reuben smiled at the Bikini Warriors as they all sidled up to him, even allowing them all to kiss him individually one by one. Soon a courier came by with a message for Reuben.
"I apologize for my interruption, but I was asked to give you this letter. The messenger didn't want me to divulge the details but they asked me to give it to you. That's all I was told to do, sir, so enjoy the rest of your day," he said.
Reuben looked at the letter, with the words, "From a Friend" written upon the envelope. That night, he and the girls went to bed in their room, but this time, Dark Elf decided to sleep with him in the same bed as she pulled the covers over them. Tomorrow would be a rather interesting day for them, as they would continue the fight against the darkness that would dare unleash a terrible calamity upon the world.