Author's Note:

Ok, so good news I posted a chapter today! The bad news, there is no lemon. I started writing this chapter today and 6hrs later realized this part of the story spoke for itself. Now when I say this took me 6hrs it really did. I do a lot of editing once I finish each chapter. I reread what I write probably like a dozen times fixing grammar mistakes, missing words, and feeling if each situation needs more context. Sometimes I may go and add more dialogue, move parts of the story around, take things out. It takes a lot to imagine what these characters would say to each other and how they would handle these situations. Once I do all of that, I post on here on AO3 and then edit it again just in case I miss anything. Maybe a need a beta reader or something. It's exhausting.

When I say it's exhausting, what I mean is that it's mentally exhausting. To help me get in the right mind frame for these scenes I listen to my favorite movie soundtracks. I love music and to me music has the power to move me to tears, to move me to feeling that I can do anything. For this chapter, I listened to Cloud Altas and Interstallar. I love both of these movies.

So anyway, I feel good with where this chapter went. This is more character development and reflections on Sesshomaru's part.

In the beginning, I also wasn't sure if this story would be four or five chapters long. So, I said four just in case it was but now it will be five chapters. The next chapter will be the last and will contain their mating night with plenty of lemony goodness.

Chapter 4

Sesshomaru watched as Rin soaked in the hot spring. Once they had reached the cave, Sesshomaru led Rin over so she could undress and helped her into the spring. Without the natural sunlight peeking through the opening of the cave at the top, it was very dark. So dark, Rin could not see. It was only Sesshonaru's demon eyes that allowed him to see where everything was. Once he had settled Rin in the spring, he had started a fire so she could see.

Watching as Rin relaxed and seeing her illuminated by the firelight, Sesshomaru felt peace overtake him. His young mate, his world, she didn't realize what power she held over him. Sesshomaru let out a deep breath he did not realize he was holding and felt all tension leave his body.

Sesshomaru also knew what the other great leaders of the other lands would say upon hearing his decision of taking a human wife. None of that would matter though, there no was no one that would tell him what to do. He was the ruler of the western lands and he can do as he please.

But…. Sesshomaru also knew what it meant to take a human for a mate. Humans live such short lives compare to youkai. He had been alive for well over a few hundred years now. Rin on the other hand…. he did not know how much time Rin would have. To him, her life span may only feel like a fraction of a tiny moment in his life span. The day that Rin would leave this world, Sesshomaru did know what he would do with himself when that time would come.

To lose a mate after having spent centuries alone…

The pain….

Sesshomaru knew that the pain of losing his mate, the pain of losing Rin, could most likely end his own life.

Or…

Or drive him into insanity.

Sesshomaru clenched his jaw at both thoughts. If there was a way to extend Rin's life, he would find it. If there was something he could do, anything he could do….then he would do it.

He would not be without his Rin after having spent so many centuries alone.

"Lord Sesshomaru?"

Sesshomaru shook himself from his thought at hearing Rin's sweet voice drift to his ears.

"Please come back to me, you look so far away," Rin said looking at Sesshomaru in concern.

Sesshomaru stood and made his way to Rin. He knelt next to the spring, so he was within reach of Rin. He watched as she stood up from the hot spring, her upper body being exposed to the cool air, and made her way closer to him and reached out a hand to cup his face.

"You were lost in thought, what troubles you?" Rin asked softly searching his face for any clues.

Sesshomaru studied Rin's oval face and not wanting to concern his mate only said, "Things that may or may not come to pass."

"You do not need to carry the burden of such heavy thoughts alone; I am always here for you as your mate and soon-to-be wife."

"Come, you have spent enough time in the hot spring. Any time more spent may make you dizzy." Sesshomaru said coming to stand and offering a hand for Rin to take.

"Were you not going to join me?" Rin said cheekily and leaning forward to give Sesshomaru an ample view of her damp breasts pushed together.

"Do not tempt this Sesshomaru, doing so may result in having you never going back to the human village you are fond of." Sesshomaru said allowing the red to show to in his eyes.

"Another time then," Rin said smiling, taking the offered hand from Sesshomaru and stepping out.

"This place is beautiful Lord Sesshomaru, how did you manage to find this?" Rin asked squeezing the water from her hair.

"I found this place while scouting for a location for our mating night. I want us to have privacy and assumed this place would be pleasing to you."

Rin stopped squeezing her hair and blushed, "It's beautiful my lord. It also helps that there is a hot spring as well."

Sesshomaru handed Rin her satchel containing her yukata, he watched as she pulled out a medium-size cloth and started drying herself. She had just reached for her night yukata when Sesshomaru grabbed her wrist to stop her.

"My lord?"

"I wish for you to stay like this," Sesshomaru stated.

"You wish for me to remain nude for the rest of the night? I may get cold." Rin said already feeling the chill from the night air creep in.

Sesshomaru grabbed her hand and led her over to the side of the cave where a large smooth rock extended out. Sesshomaru sat on the edge and pulled Rin into his lap so she was sitting with her arm to his chest and her legs across his thigh. He scooted them further back so his back rested against the cave wall. Using moko-moko, he shielded Rin's body against the cold tucking her head under his chin, and started running his claws through her long hair.

"Are you still cold?"

"No lord Sesshomaru, I'm much warmer. Thank you." Rin said burrowing her face into his silk robes, grateful that he had removed his armor.

"Will you tell me what troubling thoughts you had earlier that took you away from me?"

Sesshomaru suppressed the sigh that wanted to escape from his lips. He should have known that Rin would not let it go. How many times did he witness her relentless spirit when she first joined him? He recalled the time when she went looking for herbs for Jaken when he had fallen ill, she almost perished down the mountainside. Even though Rin was young and small at the time, she did not let anything ever hold her back.

Deciding to only share a certain amount of what he had been thinking, Sesshomaru answered, "I only thought of our future. You being my mate and future wife will change your life. You open yourself to ridicule and mockery by taking me as your husband in your human life and possible danger among the youkai in my life."

Silence then filled the air, neither speaking. Sesshomaru continued playing with Rin's hair almost in a comforting gesture to the both of them.

"I am the Daiyoukai of the Western lands and others will see my choice as weak. Others may wish to end my life for such a decision. Others may wish for me to renounce my claim on the lands and live in exile."

Sesshomaru felt Rin's breath hitched and her grip on his robes tighten. She still did not speak.

"If you choose to carry my offspring, they will be hanyou and will face prejudice as Inuyasha did. Others will not be kind to our offspring. Any enemies I have may come after them. We will be punishing our children for something they did not do. Our children may suffer in this world because of our choices."

Sesshomaru smelled salt in the air, and it was not the salt from the hot spring he was smelling. His words had caused his mate to cry.

Tightening his grip on his mate and wrapping moko-moko around her fully, Sesshomaru spoke softly, "I do not mean to frighten you, my mate. I only wish for you to understand the decision you are making, the decision we are both making. Our life will not be easy."

"You can still walk away from me; you can live a normal life in a human village. Be with your own kind." Sesshomaru said offering Rin one more chance to go back to a human existence free from youkai.

Sesshomaru stopped speaking, allowing Rin time to process his words.

"Since when was my life ever normal?" Rin whispered.

"My parents and brothers were murdered right in front of my eyes. I lived in a village where they beat me. I died and was brought back to life by a mysterious demon. I then started following this mysterious demon and a little kappa demon traveling the countryside. My life was filled with danger all the time following you, but I never wavered. I choose to stay with you because I felt safe." Rin said in a small voice, her voice breaking at the end in a whimper.

"I don't care that any of our children will be hanyou, I don't care if they have your ears or Inuyasha's ears. Or if they have moko-moko, or your poisonous claws. I don't care about that. I don't care about a normal life. I only want you."

Sesshomaru listened to Rin's words and was surprised to feel Rin push away from his chest and seeing her eyes filled with tears looking at him.

"Do you not want me to bear your children? Would you not love and protect them?" she choked out.

Sesshomaru cupping Rin's face in his hands, "I would have no other bear my seed. No other is worthy of such an act."

Sesshomaru then pressed his forehead to her's, "How would I not love and protect any of our future children? They would be a part of you, a part of my mate. I would give my life for them and you."

Carefully wiping away the tears from his mate's eyes and knowing that he needed to make her understand, "I would only want you to bear any child of mine. Nothing else would please this Sesshomaru than knowing you would choose to willingly carry my seed."

Rin answered after a few moments of taking deep breaths to calm herself, "I would carry no other but yours's lord Sesshomaru."

Rin pressing her hands to Sesshomaru's chest, "You speak of things that may or may not occur. You cannot compare one person's life journey to another that has yet to begin."

Interested in what Rin meant, Sesshomaru inquired, "Explain."

"You are correct in that Inuyasha faced prejudice while he was young but Inuyasha had no one. His mother died and you both lost your father while he died protecting Izayoi. Our children will have two parents to take care of them. I know that you would love and protect them with your life just as you love and protect me."

"Rin, I…. do not know if I am capable of being an affectionate parent."

"Do not say such silly things," Rin said smiling.

Sesshomaru's eyes widen at her words. She remembered what he said all those years ago after she made the choice to follow him again after almost being taken by the group of monks. It was another time Sesshomaru felt his icy heart pull. Ever since meeting her that day in the woods all those years ago, Sesshomaru felt his heart start changing. Over the course of being in her presence, she had unknowingly started chipping away at his hardened icy heart.

The very heart he vowed that no one would ever see.

The very heart he vowed that would never love another being in his life.

He remembered feeling the pain that ripped through his chest at hearing her pleas for him to come save her. He knew she was better off with her own kind and he had almost left her behind but her pleas.

Hearing her cry out for him, begging for him to save her…

She had yet chipped away at another part of his icy heart at that moment.

This simple human woman did what no one other was capable of doing. Rin had done the impossible and finally allowed the great daiyoukai of the west to feel with his heart again.

When Rin had asked him the question of if he would still remember her after she died, he realized then that he could not see his life without her. At the time he did not know what capacity she would play in his life, only that the thought of her dying and not being at his side caused his heart to squeeze painfully in his chest.

Taking Rin's hands, he placed them directly over his heart, "What do you feel beating under your palms?"

Rin pressed her hands into his chest a bit harder and after a moment spoke, "I feel your heart beating. It is strong."

"This heart beats only for your and one day it will beat for our children."

Rin gasped out, "Sesshomaru…."

Sesshomaru knew he couldn't vow that their children would not go through hardships or that he would always be there to protect them, but he could at least let Rin know that only she and any future offspring would be the reason his heartbeats. That her and their children would be the reason he draws breath every day and that he would tear the world apart if anything ever happened to them.

Tucking Rin's head back under his chin, Sesshomaru started rubbing her back, "Sleep, it is late and the miko wants you back at first light."

He felt Rin grab onto moko-moko wrapping it around herself and quietly said, "Goodnight Lord Sesshomaru."

After listening to Rin's breathing slow down, he knew she had fallen asleep. Turning very carefully so they both laid on their sides with moko-moko acting as a cushion, Sesshomaru drew Rin away from him so he could study her sleeping face. Her mouth slightly open, long thick lashes framed her almond eyes, and her sharp nose that fit her oval face perfectly. Sesshomaru carefully outlined her face with his claws being mindful not to cut her.

Rin let out a soft sigh and reached out for his chest, grabbing a fistful of his robe, settling back down.

Sesshomaru used the rest of moko-moko to wrap Rin up so she would not be cold and pulled her back to his chest.

In that moment, the firelight gave out, the embers having no life left. In the surrounding darkness where Sesshomaru felt the most comfortable, he uttered the words, "I love you Rin."

Unbeknownst to Sesshomaru, a small smile danced across Rin's sleeping face.

~oOo~

"Ye be true to ye word, Lord Sesshomaru," the old miko Kaede said as he and Rin landed outside her hut.

"Hm."

Sesshomaru turned to Rin, knowing that she was going to most likely be unhappy with the next bit of information he was going to relay.

"I will be taking my leave of you today."

"My lord!? I thought you said were going to stay a few more days!"

"This Sesshomaru apologize for changing the time of my departure. As I mentioned yesterday, I need to leave to procure some items for our mating night. These items may take more than a few days to make hence I need to leave to ensure their readiness on time. I must also confess that I may be gone until the new moon while I wait for their delivery."

Sesshomaru stepped forward and placed his knuckles under Rin's chin, "Do you now understand why I wanted you near me last night?"

Rin whispered, "Yes my lord. Are you sure you cannot send Jaken for whatever it is we need?"

Sesshomaru allowed a small smile to play on his lips while angling away from the miko so she could not see his face, "I would trust no one with these items. You will understand on our mating night."

Sesshomaru smelled Rin's arousal and saw her blush, "I understand, Lord Sesshomaru," Rin said captivated by his words.

Dropping his hand and turning to the miko Kaede, "Miko, I entrust my mate and future wife to your care once again. Expect a visit from Jaken with a ceremonial kimono for Rin by the new moon as well."

"Ay, my lord," Kaede answered bowing low.

"Until the new moon my mate," Sesshomaru said raking his hungry eyes over Rin's body.

"Until our wedding ceremony, Lord Sesshomaru," Rin said shuddering at this heated gaze.

~oOo~

~Five Days Later~

Sesshomaru finally located the merchant he had been looking for. The merchant had actually changed villages. Sesshomaru had gone to the village where he believed the merchant to be only to find him not there. After inquiring with the other merchants in the area, they pointed him to the village he was currently standing in which only added more delay in his timing to procure these items by the new moon.

The current village the merchant was residing in was a mix of humans and youkai peacefully congregating. It was a marketplace. There were many stalls set up, each seller selling something different from the other. Although Sesshomaru did notice a few sellers selling the same thing trying to outsell each other by lowering their prices. Sesshomaru leisurely strolled by each stall, noticing one stall that sold beautiful hair ornaments. He made a mental note to come back to this stall after finishing up his business with the merchant.

Before coming to visit the merchant, Sesshomaru had stopped where Jaken was last left and gave him orders on what kind of kimono Rin would need for their ceremony. Sesshomaru made sure to stress that the kimono needed to be ready three days before the new moon to ensure that it would be in Rin's hands by the new moon. Jaken of course being a loyal and trusted servant groveled before his lord exclaiming that Lady Rin would have nothing but the best and was gone in a blink of an eye with Ah-Un.

The merchant had just finished up talking to a buyer when Sesshomaru finally approached.

The merchant seemed surprised to see him, most likely surprised to see a youkai more than anything. From what Sesshomaru had seen while observing the merchant all morning, his only buyers were humans.

"How may I help you, sir?" The merchant asked after getting over his initial surprise.

"Do you still create those….particular items?" Sesshomaru asked emphasizing the last part of his sentence.

He watched as the merchant's eyebrows draw in confusion seeming lost on his inquiry and then his eyes light up upon realizing what he was being asked.

Reaching under a hand under his stall, the merchant pulled out a box and opened it for Sesshomaru's inspection, "Do you mean these?"

Looking into the box, "Yes, those. I need to order at three of this one in varying sizes and one of these." Sesshomaru said while pointing to specific items in the box.

"I can do that; it will probably take me at least a month to have them ready."

Sesshomaru growled, "I do not have a month to wait. I need them at least three days before the new moon."

Sesshomaru grew aggravated, he had already lost five days and knew he needed to push the merchant harder. Sesshomaru wanted to have them ready at least three days prior to the new moon just in case the items did take longer to create. He did not want to take any more chances. Also, the fact that the need to rut with Rin was becoming more insistent. He would wake each day with his cock thick and hard and ready for his mate's ripe body. The coming days while being away from his mate was not something he wanted to deal with and hearing the merchant just say what he said was pushing the demon lord to his patience.

The merchant shook as he answered, "My lord, I am sorry, but I have other orders ahead of yours. I also cannot afford to shut down my stall. This is my family's only source of income as well as making these items."

Sesshomaru pulled a large bag of coins out from behind his armor, throwing it down on the stall, and asked, "Is this enough to get my order before the new moon? It is of the most utmost importance they be ready by then."

The merchant took the bag of coins and gasped in shock when he felt how heavy the bag was. Sesshomaru knew he overpaid him, but he did not care. Sesshomaru considered it compensation for having to stay near this foreign village. Sesshomaru planned on making sure the merchant was working on his order and did not plan on leaving until the box with all the items was in his possession.

"Yes! Yes, my lord! I can them ready by then! If there anything else, I can help you with please let me know my lord!" The merchant exclaimed out now more than willing to rush the order after seeing how many coins were in the bag.

Sesshomaru nodded, "I will be staying nearby in this village to ensure its completion," and turned to leave but was stopped by the merchant.

"Before you leave, what sizes did you need the items, my lord?" The merchant asked preparing to write down the specifications.

Sesshomaru thought and answered, "I would need….."

~oOo~

Author's Note:

Hm, what's in the box? Any guesses?

I hope I was able to convey a real conversation that I believe would happen between Sess and Rin. Sesshomaru being a logical person and Rin speaking from her heart. Again going back to the fact that Sesshomaru never pressured Rin into anything in her life. He ALWAYS allowed her to make her own choices even as a child. He always gave Rin an out.

Stay tuned for the next and final chapter when we find out what is in the box! I will start writing the last part this weekend!