April 26th 2017
3:38am
"Ari!" Yakko called to Ari from a rooftop as she walked by.
She rolled her eyes and tried to ignore him.
"Ari!" Yakko called, louder this time.
She again ignored him and kept walking. That didn't last long before-
CLANG
An anvil landed just inches in front of her and lodged itself into the concrete ground.
"HOLY SH-" She covered her mouth and looked up.
"Ari!" Yakko waved.
"DID YOU JUST THROW THAT AT ME?!" Ari yelled back.
"We need to talk!"
"UH." She looked at the anvil again. "YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT WHY YOU JUST TRIED TO KILL ME?"
"Nahhhh! Something else!"
"What do you want?!" She yelled angrily.
He hopped down. "I require your expertise!"
"Well jeez Yakko, I'm a little busy. Can't it wait?"
"Please?" Yakko begged. "Please? PLEASE?! E?!" He increased the volume of his voice with each request.
Ari covered her ears. "Ugh, please don't do that." She glanced at her watch. "Alright fine, but whatever you want, can you make it quick? And then I want you to-"
"Go right back to the tower." He said, finishing her sentence. "I will! Promise!"
"Promise?" She repeated, raising an eyebrow.
"Cross my heart and hope to die a slow and painful death." He said, placing a hand over his heart.
"Whoa, chill. Alright, what do you need?"
The large metal door in front of them was illuminated by a single red light. The building around it was tucked away in a corner of the studio lot Ari hadn't seen before.
She glanced at the door and looked at Yakko, confused. "That's it?"
"What do you mean that's it?" Yakko asked
"You wanted to show me this random door?"
Yakko scoffed "Uhhhh, I want you to open it Ari."
She took a hard look at it, there were no labels on it, no signs or markings of any kind to indicate what could be on the other side. Other than the large letters on it saying "TOP SECRET: DO NOT ENTER" of course.
"What's on the other side?" She asked
"You tell me, 'Security Guard'." Yakko berated. "I thought you were supposed to walk these buildings! Have you been shirking your responsibilities Ari? For shame." He clicked his tongue in disappointment.
"Oh don't you even start." Ari chastised. "Jarrord didn't tell me about this place and I need to know what doors I'm opening before I let you go running off into random buildings, not that I should even be letting you do that in the first place. Heck, I'm not even sure if I'm allowed in here."
Yakko sighed. "Fine, if you must know, I'll tell you what's back there." He motioned Ari to come closer and whispered in her ear. "It's all the Oscars that Leanardo DiCaprio was robbed of."
"Ok. I'm leaving." She started to walk away.
"WAIT-WAIT-WAIT OK I'LL TELL YOU."
"I don't have time for games tonight Yakko." Ari said sternly
"Fair enough, let me tell you a really quick story first."
Yakko grabbed a chair and opened a giant storybook, he flipped through the pages quickly.
"Let's see here… ah there it is!" He cleared his throat and smirked. "Now this is a story, all about how." He paused for dramatic effect. "My life got flipped, turned upside-down."
Ari bared her teeth."IF YOU WEREN'T LIKE 12 I WOULD HURT YOU."
"Actually I'm 14 and a ½."
"WHATEVER."
"Alright." Yakko closed the book and looked her in the eyes. "Let's get serious."
"Oh wow really?" Ari asked exasperated. "And here I thought we were already doing that."
"Behind this door, lies something valuable. Something legendary. Something that belongs to us."
Ari raised an eyebrow.
"The studio stole it, and I want it back."
"Hmm" Ari hummed. "Got any proof?"
"Proof." Yakko rolled his eyes. "Ari, you know I only make bread on the weekends."
Ari squinted in confusion. "...Wh-"
"I don't see why you can't just believe me." Yakko interrupted. "I'd believe you if you told me the same thing."
Ari stared at him judgingly.
"F I N E." His body drooped sadly. "I don't have any proof. You got me. Are you happy now?"
Ari smiled. "Yeah, I think I am."
Yakko frowned. "You're a cruel woman."
"Just doing my job bud. Wouldn't want to 'shirk my responsibilities' now would I?" She said matter-of-factly.
Ari walked away, feeling satisfied that she successfully avoided what could have possibly been a disaster. She reached for her keycard to enter the next building on her route but missed it.
'Whoops, That was weird…' she thought.
She reached for it again and caught nothing but air. She looked down and sure enough, her keycard had gone missing.
"Oh no!" She scanned the ground around her. "Where the heck did I-"
BEEP.
She stopped searching. "Ooooh, That's probably bad."
She turned around to see Yakko leaning against the door, keycard in hand, smiling at her.
"Yakko, give it back." She growled, holding out her hand.
"You know, that's very tempting but like your debit card that I'm also borrowing, I'll have to decline. Bye!" He opened the door and zoomed inside.
"GOD… damnit." Ari exhaled.
Ari ran for the door and just barely wedged herself between it before it closed. She pushed it back open and ran inside.
"Yakko! Come back here you little- whoa."
The room she was standing in was a lot bigger than she anticipated. It was a very very long corridor with doors on either side, the only light source coming from a slowly blinking red light on a high ceiling and some dim floor lights lining the walls, it stretched on for what looked like forever. No Yakko in sight.
"Oh great, another long hallway," Ari said sarcastically. "Let's hope it's not like the last one. I am NOT in the mood for that again."
As she speed-walked down the corridor she noticed that at first, every door had a keycard panel next to it, but as she got further and further down they started to disappear until eventually there were none left. Just door after wooden door with who knows what behind each one.
After a while, she started to think the hallway might actually be endless. She stopped in the middle and decided to try a door. No luck, it was locked. She tried several more and they too were locked.
"Oh my god." She exclaimed. "How many damn doors do you need in this place? I'm gonna be here all night!"
She took a seat in the middle of the hallway to catch her bearings. She sighed, but as she did, her nose caught the scent of something. Something sweet. She stood up quickly and followed the scent. She followed it down the hall until it stopped at a door, the very first one, all the way at the beginning.
"If he's behind this door, I'm going to go FERAL."
She tried the door and it was unlocked. She sighed with relief and opened it only for Wakko to come spilling out, nearly causing her to have a heart attack. He landed on the floor with a splat.
"JESUS!" She jumped back and held a hand to her chest.
Wakko unstuck himself from the floor and smiled. "Nope! Just me! You're really good at Hide and Seek, Ari! I didn't even tell you I was hiding and you still found me!"
"Hide and Seek? I wasn't…" She shook her head. "Nevermind. Where's your brother?"
"Dot's my sister actually." He corrected.
"No Wakko, where's Yakko?"
"Ohhhhh, I dunno?" He looked around. " I haven't seen him in forever. Except when he talked to me two minutes ago, but two minutes is a long time in dog years."
"I felt that." She nodded.
Ari patted him on the back and her hand got stuck to him. She tried to pull it off, it was no use. The more she struggled the more stuck she became. Her hand might as well have been cemented there.
"Um, Wakko?" She said anxiously.
"Yes?" Wakko responded.
"CAN YOU HELP ME OUT HERE?"
"With what?"
"I CANT GET MY HAND OFF YOUR BACK, IT'S STUCK."
"Ohhh, is it the honey?"
She stopped pulling. "the what?"
"I covered myself in honey." He repeated nonchalantly.
"...WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!"
Wakko put his hands on his hips. "So I didn't have to carry a giant jar all over the place, duh. It also makes the bees like me more. Honestly, I'm not sure what you're complaining about."
Ari nearly broke down in tears. "MY HAND IS STUCK WAKKO."
"OK, OK, I'll help you, you should really consider yourself lucky to be my friend."
Wakko pulled a crowbar out of who knows where and wedged it between himself and Ari. With very little effort, he managed to unstick Ari from him, in the process causing her to fly backwards into the room he was just in. Turns out, it was just a closet. She crashed into a shelf and a ton of various items rained down on her.
"Ow! What is it with you kids and throwing me into stuff? " She rubbed her head.
"That's the thanks I get for saving your hand?" Wakko crossed his arms and pouted. "Some friend you are."
"Oh, sorry. Thanks, I guess?"
Wakko smiled and wagged his tail. "You're welcome!"
She picked up most of the items and placed them carefully back on the shelf where they belonged, but one particular item caught her eye. A floppy disc. Scribbled hastily on the label in sharpie were the words "DO NOT USE." There was something written underneath it but in the dim lighting of the corridor, Ari couldn't see what.
"Huh, what the heck is this?"
It was in that moment she heard a high-pitched whistle. It was just loud enough for her to hear. Apparently, Wakko heard it too because he immediately started to wander off towards it. Without even thinking about it, she put the floppy disc in her pocket and followed Wakko and the sound.
Down the hallway, there was another door, not far from the one they were at. It was slightly ajar. Wakko pushed it open and he and Ari entered. On the other side, was Yakko, Dot, and a giant vault in a wall that Yakko was desperately trying to open.
"I knew that would work!" Dot exclaimed. She pocketed her dog whistle and went to grab Wakko's hand only to recoil back.
"Ew! Did you cover yourself in maple syrup again?"
"Honey." Wakko and Ari answered simultaneously.
"Great..." She put her palm to her face. "You brought Ari with you too I guess."
"That's right," Ari said. "I have some choice words for your brother."
"Save them." Dot interjected. "We need your help."
"After he stole my keycard?"
"And debit card!" Yakko added from the background.
Ari frowned. "Yeah. I don't think so."
Dot grabbed a box and pulled something out of it. "Would you do it for a Scooby Snack?"
Ari looked at her in disbelief. "A-are you joking?"
"Ok fine." She pulled out a second one. "How about two?"
Ari furrowed her brow. "NO."
"Geez, tough customer. How about thr-"
"I DON'T WANT A SCOOBY SNACK!" Ari yelled.
Dot tilted her head. "Weird, that always works when I do it with Wakko."
Yakko stopped trying to open the vault and walked over to the three of them out of breath.
"Whew! That thing just will not open up! It's time like this I wish I was a therapist. Oh, hey Ari."
"Don't you 'Hey Ari' me, you little gremlin," Ari growled. "Give me my cards back!"
"Ah, you see, here's the thing..."
"Oh my god, don't tell me you lost them."
Yakko clicked his tongue. "What? No no no no no, I have them, I'm just not going to give them to you."
Ari grabbed her net. "You're talking a lot of crap for someone in swinging distance, kid."
"WAIT!" Yakko held his hands out. "BEFORE YOU DO SOMETHING YOU MAY NOT LIVE TO REGRET LET ME EXPLAIN!"
She raised the net over her head. "You better start talking then, cause the net takes no prisoners!"
"OK OK. WE'RE TRYING TO GET OUR MOVIES BACK."
Ari stopped. She slowly lowered the net. "Y-Your what?"
"Movies. Y'know, the overly expensive moving pictures they project onto a giant screen?"
"I know what a movie is Yakko, I just didn't know you had any."
"We have a lot, for your information. They all got locked away except for one and we only got to keep that cause it was tied to our show. The rest weren't so lucky." He explained.
"Hmm, why?" Ari pondered.
"Well the big wigs said they didn't make any sense, but I don't buy it. I just think they're scared of our raw acting potential. Afraid we'll make their triple-A actors look bad." Yakko grinned.
Ari rolled her eyes. "Sure, sure. Why do you want these back so bad?"
"UGH. Why do you ask so many questions?!" Yakko sighed. " 'Why, why, why.' Is that the letter of the day or are you just brushing up on your Mindy impression?"
Ari raised an eyebrow. "Who?"
He stuck a finger in her face. "SEE!? THERE YOU GO AGAIN!"
"I'm just curious, Yakko! This is all new territory to me. I'm trying to figure it out."
"How about you figure this out instead." Yakko said, pointing to the vault. "I can't get the darn thing open and it's really ticking me off."
"Whoa, language." Ari said jokingly.
"Ha. Ha." Yakko laughed sarcastically. "You know I have more anvils right?"
"OK, I will take a look at it." She conceded. "Don't expect a miracle though."
Ari walked over to the vault. It was a pretty standard-looking giant vault in a wall at first glance. There was a wheel in the center that seemed like it opened it but of course, that was locked. There was no code wheel or keypad to be seen, instead, there was a screen at the bottom of the door, and something else propped up next to it. When Ari saw it, she freaked out.
"OH MY GOD, IT'S A MIRACLE." Ari exclaimed.
The Warners rushed over.
"What did you figure it out?!" Yakko asked anxiously.
"Oh yeah!" Ari said, picking up the item next to the screen and messing with it.
"Well? Are you going to share with the class?" Dot asked.
"I can't believe this. This is wild." Ari exclaimed.
"TELL US, PLEASE." Wakko screamed "I FEEL LIKE MY HEAD IS GOING TO EXPLODE, Or..maybe I'm allergic to honey. I haven't decided yet, BUT PLEASE TELL US WHAT'S GOING ON!"
Ari smiled and turned around, she was holding a guitar of some sort in her hand. "They really got this thing locked with freaking Guitar Hero! I haven't played this in FOREVER!"
"...HUH?" The Warners said in unison.
"You know, Guitar Hero? The rhythm game?" She tried to explain.
The three looked at her blankly.
Her face drooped. "Oh my god, you guys don't know what Guitar Hero is do you?"
"Nuh-uh." The three responded, shaking their heads.
"Ohhhhhhh boy." Ari said, exasperated.
"Ari, I'm not sure if you were aware, but we've been locked in a tower for almost two decades. We're not exactly caught up to all the new hip tech of the 21st century." Yakko said.
"Guitar Hero is like 12 years old, and don't y'all literally own video game consoles?"
"We don't get out much." Dot explained.
"You know what, Fair enough."
"So." Yakko continued. "How does it work?"
"Now who's asking too many questions?" Ari grinned slyly. "Let me show you."
She flipped through the songs until she found one she deemed satisfactory.
"Oooh, Paint it Black. I love that one!" She exclaimed, but her smile quickly disappeared when she selected it. "Oh, of course."
"Of course what?" Yakko asked.
"The difficulty is locked on Expert. That's gonna be an issue." She explained.
"Afraid you're not up to the challenge?" Yakko playfully jabbed.
"You want to play it, tough guy?" Ari asked, holding the guitar towards him.
He held his hand up. "Oh, I couldn't possibly, I wouldn't want to embarrass you."
"That's what I thought." She turned her attention back to the screen. "Whatever, I'll probably mess it up but let's give it a shot anyways."
Ari started the game. The Warners each grabbed a chair and sat quietly as Ari started to explain what she was doing.
"Ok, so I'm not good at multitasking so cut me some slack if I mess something up. So in this game, you're pretty much pretending to play guitar. Each button on the top of the guitar they give you is color-coded to one on the screen. You press the buttons in time with the music, but you also have to strum at the same time or it won't work. Each song has its own-"
Although interesting to someone, I suppose, The Warners had all but tuned her out not long after she started talking. They didn't really care all that much about the ins and outs of Guitar Hero's mechanics. That isn't to say they weren't paying attention though, quite the opposite in fact. They were transfixed. Ari's fingers glided between the various buttons as her other hand strummed the fake guitar. It was almost hypnotic to watch. Although she hadn't played in years, it was clear she hadn't lost her muscle memory and skill.
She may not have noticed herself but as she played she would bounce slightly and her tail would sway to keep herself in time with the music itself and whenever she reached a particularly tricky part, she stuck her tongue out slightly and couldn't help but smile when she nailed it. She was...having fun. A rare sight to the Warners who really only ever saw her angry or upset in some way.
"And if you move this thing here like this." She continued. "You can actually distort the held-out note and make it sound really cool. Like a real Guitar! Oh wait hold on, Annnnnnd, that's a 100% right there!"
As the song ended, she set the guitar back down and took a bow. The Warners cheered for her.
"Wow, look sibs! Droopy can have fun after all." Yakko said.
"Yeah!" Dot added. "I always thought video games were for nerds and losers and you haven't really changed my mind on that, but it was neat anyway."
Wakko opened his mouth to say something but stopped, thought for a moment, and simply added. "What they said!"
"Aw, thanks guys," Ari said. "I-"
CLICK
Ari turned around. The lock on the vault door unlocked, and the door had opened slightly.
"OUT OF THE WAY." Yakko yelled.
The three rushed past Ari, knocking her over in the process, and threw the door open. Inside the vault was, well exactly what they said was in there, surprisingly enough. Reels on top of reels of various movies, tv shows, and other media meant to be projected onto a screen.
"Holy cow," Ari said, shocked. "Are all of these yours?!"
"What!?" Yakko laughed. " I wish! Imagine if WB let us make even half as many as what's here, we'd be rich!"
"If only…" Dot sighed.
Yakko gazed at a few of the reels and frowned. "Oh wow, look at this one." He picked up a reel and showed it to them. "Shot down in favor of Space Jam." He grit his teeth angrily. "SPACE JAM. I MEAN SERIOUSLY?! What kind of IDIOT would take Space Jam over US? I MEAN YOU'D HAVE TO BE A-"
"Look guys!" Wakko exclaimed, interrupting Yakko's rant and holding up a stack of papers. "It's Wandering Warners We! Or at least what they finished of it. "
"Whoa!" Yakko grabbed them and gave them a look. "I haven't seen this stuff in forever!"
"It's a shame it never came together." Dot lamented.
"Yeah… Whatever happened to Lakko anyway?" Yakko asked.
Dot put a hand to her chin. "Um, I think he's an accountant out in San Fran now."
"Huh, good for him. We should call."
The Warners collected all the reels that belonged to them, stuck them in a bag and slammed the vault shut.
"Well, are y'all satisfied now?" Ari asked.
"Yes, mam," Yakko said with a grin. "Couldn't have done it without you!"
Ari smirked. "Well, it's nice to be appreciated for once." She stuck a hand in her pocket. "Whoa. Wait what the heck?" She dug out the floppy disc she had pocketed earlier. "Huh, I thought I put this back."
Yakko looked at his watch and gasped. "Well Lassie, you're gonna have to take it with you. We're out of time."
"B-but it doesn't belong to me! I can't j-just steal it!" Ari stammered.
"We won't tell if you won't," Yakko whispered. "Let's jet sibs!"
Yakko opened a door that Ari was pretty sure wasn't there before and led the other two through it. Ari took a quick look at the floppy disc again and hesitantly shoved it back in her pocket and followed them. On the other side, was the front of the building.
Ari stopped. "Wait. How is that even possible?"
"How is what possible?" Yakko asked.
"How are we back at the front? I know dang well that wasn't the door to the building."
"I have no idea what you're talking about." Yakko said coyly.
The Warners yawned and looked towards their Water Tower.
"Well, It's been fun!" Yakko said. Grabbing Ari's hand and shaking it.
"Fun isn't the word I would use but ok." Ari responded. She cleared her throat and kept her hand held out.
He stared at it confused. "Uhhhh, Oh right!" Yakko dug the cards out of his pocket and handed them back to Ari.
"Thank you." She said sharply.
"Ugh, to be honest." Dot said tiredly. "I don't really have the energy to walk all the way home."
"Yeah." Wakko agreed. "Me neither."
"Hmm." Yakko thought. "You know what we need sibs? Motivation!" He turned back to Ari. "Ari, your shoe's untied."
"Wait for real? Gosh dang it." Ari looked down and frowned. "Uh, no they aren't."
She looked up and Yakko punched her point-blank in the face.
"OW!" Ari held her nose with both her hands. "WHAT THE HELL DUDE?"
Dot and Wakko looked at Yakko, confused. He held a hand up and whispered.
"Wait for it."
Ari held her hands out and looked at them. She wasn't bleeding, but it didn't stop her snout from feeling like it was. She tried to look at Yakko, but all she could see was red. Metaphorically speaking of course.
"Yakko." Ari said, surprisingly calmly.
"Yes, Ari?" He responded in a similar tone.
"You have approximately 10 seconds to take your siblings and go home." She continued. "BEFORE I DRAG YOU BACK INTO THAT GODDAMN TOWER MYSELF."
Yakko grabbed his siblings by the arms. "There it is! Our motivation!"
"I'll take it!" Dot said.
The three of them blasted off out of there and zoomed back to their tower.
"Goodnight Ari!" They said in unison, before blowing her a kiss and going inside.
Ari didn't move from where she was standing for a while. She was a cocktail of emotions, some good, some bad, some confusing. Above all else, she was tired and just wanted to go home.
She turned to walk back to the office when she accidentally kicked something. She looked down, it was the floppy disc. It must have fallen out of her pocket when she got decked. She picked it up off the ground, grabbed her flashlight, and shined it on the label.
Underneath the sharpie writing was proper text. It was barely readable but Ari could still see a few things.
"The Video Professor." She read aloud. "A fun-filled adventure in computer learning by..." She squinted "D-Dr. Otto Scratchansniff?"
She scrunched her face in and read it again. And again. And once more to make sure she had that right. Then she fell to the ground, flat on her back, and in a volume way too loud for 4 am in Burbank, California, she laughed. She laughed until she couldn't laugh anymore.