Chapter 4
One day Sai and Hikaru were on their way to a bookstore to check if there were any new arrivals (manga in Hikaru's case, go books in Sai's), when Sai spotted on the street a boy who wore Haze's school uniform. He pointed him out to Hikaru, who just hmmed a little and continued talking about the manga he was planning to buy. Sai kept on watching the boy, though, and suddenly he gave a start.
"Hey, look!" he pointed. "He went into a go salon!"
Hikaru paused. "Oh? Well, so what?"
"If he plays go he could join our club! Let's go take a look!"
Sai was clearly, once again, getting overly excited about such a little thing, Hikaru thought, and said as much. Sai didn't listen but dragged him onward down the street. "You've never been to a go salon before, have you, Hikaru?" Sai went on. "All the more reason to visit one!"
He opened the door and pushed Hikaru inside.
Hikaru didn't find the place overly impressing. It was something like a small, shabby cafe, except that on every table there was a go board. The customers were mainly old men – they, and the boy who had come before them, seemed to be the only ones there under the age of fifty.
"Welcome!" an old man – what else, Hikaru thought – behind the desk said. "Did you come to play?" He paused as he saw their school uniforms. "Or are you friends of Mitani-kun?"
The boy, hearing his name, glanced at them and shook his head. He was sitting alone by a table, clearly waiting for some players to finish their game so that he'd get an opponent.
"We just thought to drop in, as my friend's never been to go salons," Sai said. He smiled at the other boy. "Would you like a game?"
The boy gave them a lazy look, glanced then at the games being played, and possibly decided that he'd anyway have to wait a while. He shrugged. "Why not. Care to bet?"
Sai frowned. "No. Besides, my friend hasn't played that long yet."
"Maybe he should play with someone else, then," Mitani said, leaning back in his chair.
"What, me?" Hikaru looked at Sai. "I thought you wanted to play."
"Sure I do! But you should play against as many opponents as you can. How much is it?" he asked the old man behind the counter, and took out a 500 yen bill when he said the price. "Wouldn't you reconsider?" he said to Mitani. "I'm sure you could have a fun game… with enough handicap stones, that is, he's played just for a few months. Though he is good for that." He looked again at the old man. "Do I have to pay if I just watch?"
"What?" Hikaru put in. "I thought you just paid – you paid for me? You don't have to, I'm not…" Sai pushed him to sit on a chair.
"Come now, do play a game!"
The smile on his face was – once again – too sunny for Hikaru to say no. Possibly it had an effect on Mitani too, or at least the other boy straightened his back with a sigh, and grasped the bowl of white stones. "How many stones do you want?"
They spent a while figuring out the right handicap, and started the game.
Hikaru figured soon enough that he was no match to this boy, even if he had a bunch of handicap stones. Still, he noted that Mitani didn't seem to be playing seriously – it seemed he'd just agreed to the game to pass some time, and was hardly thinking about his moves. Hikaru looked at him through slit eyes as he leaned on the table and watched the board with lazy eyes before placing the stone on it.
He would not lose to a halfhearted opponent like that. Absolutely not.
Hikaru turned his attention back to the game. He might not want to lose this game, but as it was, willpower alone would not be enough to keep that from happening, the way things were going. Then his opponent made one more of those halfhearted, half-thought moves, and he blinked. There.
He slammed a stone on the board, connecting his two groups. It was Mitani's turn to blink, and slowly he straightened his back. From then on the fight started properly. Hikaru couldn't anymore tell who was winning and who losing, but he knew he had caught up tremendously with just one move. And, he knew as they reached endgame, he wasn't playing badly. He did have a chance if he was careful.
The game reached its end, and they started to count the territory. "52 moku," Mitani said, and Hikaru grimaced.
"50," he said. Damn. "I thought I might have enough…"
"That was an excellent game, Hikaru." Sai's voice was somehow strange. "Wish I could say the same about you." He was staring at Mitani, and something in his eyes made Hikaru wary. It reminded him suddenly of that day at the school festival, when Kaga had made him so angry. "Would you play a game with me next?" Mitani was about to decline, but Sai added with his sweetest smile, "You can have as many stones as Hikaru had against you. And yeah, we can bet, if you want to."
Sai got his game. It did not take long before Mitani was staring at the board with a sweat drop glistening on his forehead.
"You think," Sai said quietly, leaning across the board, "that I didn't see what you did? Hikaru won that game, but you moved the stones while you were counting the territories."
"What?" Hikaru breathed next to him.
"And that is so petty I don't even have words for it. Why? Why would you cheat in a game like that? …no, why do you cheat at all? Is it just a habit?" Sai was shaking his head at him. "Let's go." He stood up and started putting the stones away. "You too," he said to Mitani who just kept on sitting in his chair. "Or do you want me to tell them you were cheating?" he whispered, indicating with his head the other customers, and finally the other boy got up.
They went out, and Mitani was still quiet. Hikaru, on the other hand, had a deep frown on his forehead. "You cheated?" he burst out when they came out. "For real? How dare you!"
Mitani gave him a lopsided smile. "What about it? True, maybe there was no point, as we weren't playing for money. But still, it would have been annoying to lose."
"That's not…" Sai started to say, but Hikaru cut him off, practically seething with rage.
"Annoying!? Maybe it's annoying to lose, but it'd be totally shitty to win like that! And that's not all, it's… it's… just disrespectful, toward go and all go players to do something like that! As if you weren't taking go seriously! Is it just a way to make money for you? That's disgusting!"
Sai was watching him with slightly wide eyes. Mitani's expression remained aloof.
"I never knew there were so many go freaks in our school," he finally muttered. "Are you finished yet?"
"Go freaks? I'm not…!"
"Yes we are," Sai cut him off. "Finished, I mean. For now. But you… come to our go club. We're meeting tomorrow after school." He frowned as Mitani was about to say something. "Come there. Or I'll go to have a word with the owner of this go salon. I wonder if they're already suspecting you. I saw the way he was looking at you when you mentioned betting."
"Well, whatever." The boy started to walk away, his bag hanging on one shoulder. "Maybe."
"Why did you invite him to the go club?" Hikaru asked as they watched after him. "He's a cheater!"
"Yes," Sai said. "And we need to teach him to stop."
"Hmm." Hikaru snorted. "I wonder if there's anything you can do about it." As they continued their way toward the bookshop, he yet muttered under his breath, "And I am not a go freak!" Sai hid his smile carefully.
...
Mitani did appear at the go club next day. Tsutsui was happy at first, seeing a new member, but noticed then how Hikaru was glaring at the newcomer, and Sai too had a strangely serious look in his eyes.
Seeing his wondering look, Sai explained, "I caught him cheating when counting the territories."
Tsutsui's eyes widened a little. "Then why…"
"Why am I here?" Mitani snorted. "I'm happy to go. This looks like a pretty pathetic club." His eyes stopped on the single cup on the shelf, and a wry smile tugged his lips. "I guess you won that for them," he said, looking at Sai.
"That was a team tournament," Sai levelly. "We won it together."
Mitani shrugged. "Whatever. So. Now I'm here. What do you want me to do?"
"You…" Sai started, but right then Kaneko walked in.
"Hello!" she exclaimed happily. "Sorry I'm late! What, a new member?" Her eyes stopped on Mitani.
"A cheater," Hikaru muttered angrily, and ignored the glare he got from Mitani. "I don't know why Sai insisted on getting him here."
"You just have to tell to everyone you meet!" Mitani exclaimed.
"Embarrassed?" Hikaru snorted. "You should be! You're…"
"Calm down, you two!" Sai cut him off. "Mitani-kun is a good player," he said to everyone. "I really don't understand why you would do something like that," he went on turning to Mitani. "You have skill in go you wouldn't have developed if you didn't genuinely like the game. Where is your integrity as a player? Don't you want to…"
"Did you bring me here just to listen to sermons?" Mitani cut him off. "If so I'm off. And I don't really care what you tell and to who." He stood up and grasped his bag.
"Why are you in such a hurry?" Kaneko said. "Before you go, let's play a game, why don't we? If you're not too scared to play without cheating." She sat down smiling lazily at Mitani. "Leave him for me," she whispered with a wink to Sai and Tsutsui. "I'll fix him."
"What was that?" Mitani gave her a suspicious look, but she just kept on smiling.
Sai… didn't really understand exactly what happened there, but somehow Kaneko was true to her words, even though she had to resign in the first game. She clearly got on Mitani's nerves, sometimes getting under his skin with a single word, but still, the boy kept on coming back to play her. Days passed, and one day Sai walked in to Hikaru and Mitani playing a friendly game. He said nothing, just watched, and after that Mitani had become a regular member of the go club. If he still cheated, Sai never caught him in that.
...
Soon it was time to send the registration for the summer go tournament. Tsutsui was in – he said it'd be his last tournament in the middle school, in winter he most likely would not have that much time for go anymore. Hikaru was doubtful of whether or not he wanted to take part. "Of course you should play at the tournament!" Sai exclaimed when they were talking about it. "You can't know how much fun it is before you try!"
"I guess…" Hikaru didn't sound quite convinced. "But what about others? Our club has more members now. If they want to play…"
"Then you just have to play it out!"
That's what they ended up doing, and somewhat to his surprise Hikaru ended up as the third board in the tournament. Sai was beaming with joy, and Hikaru couldn't remain quite immune to it either.
"Just you wait, we might yet bring another cup for the shelf!" he grinned to Sai, who was still babbling on how much fun it was to be playing at a tournament.
"Yeah… maybe." Sai gave him a quick smile. "But that's not the main thing. I just wish you'll get far cause then you'll get to play many games! And that's what's the best thing about tournaments; playing against many different opponents."
...
On the morning of the tournament Sai woke up quite cheerful. He was going to watch the tournament together with Akira, and he could see a fun day waiting for them. He hadn't yet told Akira that Hikaru was playing in the tournament; just said that he had a surprise waiting for him. And he was sure Akira would be surprised – during the past month Hikaru's go had progressed immensely. Sai had been playing with him when he just could, and being at the go club really helped too, giving him opponents of his level and a bit stronger to play against. Hikaru had even started taking go classes on his own. Sai grinned as he thought about it. Hikaru had a gift for go, that was clear. And, though he still tried to claim he wasn't that interested about it, it was easy to see it was just pretense. One of these days Hikaru too would make quite a player, he knew that.
He just hoped he'd be able to make Akira see it too. He'd tried to tell him at times about Hikaru's progress, but Akira didn't seem to be interested. "It's great if he has really started playing go," he'd said. "But what about it? I doubt he'll ever be at pro level."
He entered the shower, trying to figure out how to get Hikaru and Akira to be friends. As he was spreading the shower gel on himself, he suddenly noticed something. Frowning, he ran his hands over his chest again. For some reason the skin on his chest, around his nipples felt sensitive and tender to touch, and a little puffy. He finished showering quickly, grasped his towel and examined himself in the mirror.
Was there some slight swelling on his chest, or was he just imagining things? …probably. It was most likely nothing. Or perhaps it was somehow related to puberty? About time, if so. He wrapped the towel tightly around himself and headed to his room to dress up. It was going to be a fun day, and he wouldn't let anything ruin it for him.
"It's funny to think that it's already been a year since we met," Akira said to him when they entered Kaio. "I'm so happy I decided to come to see the games then. I had thought I wouldn't – I wasn't really that interested to see how Kaio wins, once again. But then I had this crazy idea that maybe they wouldn't win, and…"
Sai gave him a surprised look. "You wanted to see them lose?"
"Well, I…" Akira looked a little uncomfortable. "Of course not. But it's just that… the Kaio go club wasn't quite what I'd imagined it to be. We didn't really get along that well… and I couldn't help feeling it'd be good – for some of them – not to win for once." He grinned at Sai. "And then you were there, and I forgot all about them."
Sai gave a little laugh, blushing. "You know, that sounded a little…"
Akira blushed too. "You know what I mean," he muttered, looking away.
"Of course. Look, there they are!" Sai waved at the members of Haze go club. "Hi!"
"Hi!" That was Hikaru, waving back, but then he noticed Akira behind Sai's back and his grin faltered.
"Oh, is he in their team?" Akira muttered to Sai. "Still short of members?"
"Nope." Sai smiled at him over his shoulder. "They played for the third board, and he won. All set?" he said to Hikaru.
"Sure!" The boy was grinning again. "You were right, this is kinda exciting. I can't wait to get started!"
One of their opponents was eyeing Sai. "Aren't you the one who was in their team last year?" he asked.
Sai nodded. "Sure he was," Hikaru exclaimed, now grinning at them. "And you're lucky we're being nice and not having him in our team this time."
"And that's Touya Akira," another boy murmured. "Those two'd make a scary team. I don't think they'd even need a third player."
Sai glanced at Akira, a little embarrassed. The other boy seemed quite unruffled, he probably was more used to this sort of thing.
"Well, you'll just have to be content with us," Hikaru said, echoing unconsciously a Kaio team member's words from the previous year. His grin had disappeared, leaving a little frown on his face. Sai knew him well enough to see he really was annoyed, though he couldn't quite understand why. Just because Touya was there?
He decided to move on. "Good luck," he said clapping Hikaru's shoulder. "And to you too," he added to the other members of Haze's team, Tsutsui and Mitani.
"Thanks." Tsutsui gave him a smile. "I must admit it'd be great to have you in our team – though who knows, it just might be my place you'd be taking."
Sai returned his grin. "Never that, don't worry. I'll be back soon, we'll just have a look around."
The games started as they were walking around. "Do you want to go to watch Kaio"? Sai asked quietly.
Akira shrugged. "I could take a look. But if you want to go to watch Haze, you can do that."
"Great! I want to see Hikaru's game, I know it's going to be fun! Would you come to watch it too? Who knows if they'll get to the second round, so this might be the only chance."
"I guess I could," Akira said after a short hesitation. "You don't sound overly confident about them, though."
"Oh, it's not that… I know they'll do their best, but I'm not sure if they are good enough. But even so, what does it matter? I like watching their games."
"Yeah…" Akira gave a sigh, and Sai glanced at him.
"Is something wrong?"
"No… just thinking about how different your club is from Kaio's."
"Well, Haze is a smaller school to begin with," Sai started, but Akira shook his head.
"That's not what I meant," he said quietly, but didn't say anything more. Sai might have asked what exactly he did mean, then, but then they arrived to Haze's table, and the games demanded his attention.
Hikaru's opponent seemed to be pretty close to his level, Sai noted to his satisfaction. The game had started evenly enough, and he was playing quite solidly. Sai nodded approvingly at his moves. He might yet win.
He noticed Akira coming to stand by his side. He let the other boy watch a moment, and whispered then to him, "Keep in mind he's been playing for barely four months."
Akira nodded slowly. Standing behind Hikaru's opponent they could watch the boy's face as he played on, and even Sai was impressed to see how total his concentration seemed to be. He knew Akira had to see it too, for there was new seriousness in his expression as he watched the boy play. Hard to believe, isn't it? Sai thought, smiling to himself. That this is the same annoying immature boy who usually with his first word manages to make your blood pressure rise? He had known Hikaru would be far better than Akira expected, and he was delighted to see that Hikaru was playing an excellent game for his level.
He had barely time to think that when Hikaru made a move. Akira raised his eyebrows and glanced at Sai, who had something of a grimace on his face. "Okay, I admit he's got a long way to go," Sai whispered to him, seeing him looking.
"And I admit I understand why you're so excited about him," Akira whispered back, and was rewarded with one of Sai's brightest smiles.
They turned to watch the game again in silence. Hikaru must have noticed by now he had made a mistake. He had moved to another part of the board, doing his best to secure his territory there, and Sai figured he'd probably manage to do that. Even so, he was now slightly behind.
Akira's interest, he noticed, was fading. The boy was now watching other games played at the table, and at times his eyes wandered toward the other tables. Sai thought that perhaps they should go to watch other games, for a change… but on the other hand, he really wanted to see how Hikaru's game would end. He gave the board a glance, and blinked. His hand reached to poke Akira softly, as he couldn't tear his eyes away from the game. "Look!" he whispered fervently.
Akira turned back to him with a frown. As he looked down at the game Sai saw his eyes widen a little. That bad move – as the game had proceeded, that stone stood suddenly at an ideal place. Akira glanced at Hikaru, and Sai could all but see the gears turning in his head as he wondered if the boy could have planned it. Sai was wondering the same thing, but… no, that was highly unlikely. It had been a bad move. But to be able to turn a bad move into a good one like that… Sai smiled brightly as Akira gave the boy a thoughtful look.
In the end Hikaru managed to pull a two and a half moku win. Mitani won his game too, and realizing they were going to move to the next round Hikaru jumped to his feet, giving a whoop of joy. He highfived Sai. "We rock!"
"Shh!" A judge gave him a sharp look. "There are still others playing."
Hikaru gave him a little sheepish grin and quieted down. On the next round his opponent was clearly better, and he was forced to resign before the end. Mitani was the only one to win his game this round, so that was the end of the tournament for them.
"You were right!" Hikaru said to Sai as the second round was over. "This was fun! Shame we didn't get farther, I'd liked to play more."
"We can still watch, that's fun too," Sai said, and Hikaru grinned. "Yeah!"
The third round was just about to begin, and they headed to follow the games. Hikaru wanted to see the games of the team that had beaten them, while Akira decided it was time to take a look on Kaio's play. Sai couldn't quite decide what he wanted to do, so he just wandered around, taking peeks at the games and enjoying the atmosphere.
The event ended in Kaio's victory, as expected. "You played really well today," Sai said to Hikaru when they were about to leave. "Next time we meet, we'll have to go through that first game of yours. Actually, both of them. There's a lot you can learn from the other game too. Could we do that tomorrow? I don't know when I have time next week…"
Hikaru nodded, still in quite cheerful mood. "I can't wait for the summer vacation, so we can meet more often!"
"True," Sai nodded. "It'll be great, we can play go every day, if you want! I wonder…" He glanced hesitantly at Akira. "Would it be okay if he came to the go salon sometimes?"
Akira gave him an unreadable look, but smiled then, if a little tensely. "Of course. Anyway, it's public place, anyone can come there."
"I guess I could," Hikaru said a little indifferently. "Some day."
...
It took a long while before Hikaru agreed to follow Sai to the go salon, but one day when the summer vacation had already started he finally gave in to Sai's nagging, and they entered the place together.
Hikaru shot a glance around. This place was clearly of a higher class than the one and only go salon he had visited so far. Still, he noted, the customers were the same: oldish men. Sai was waving at Touya and walking toward his table. Hikaru followed him and nodded his head slightly to Touya.
Sai sat down and looked at Hikaru who was still standing. "What'd you like to do?" he asked. "I've promised a game to Akira… do you want to watch? I think you should play as much as you can, though. There are many good players here."
Hikaru shot a glance around again. He didn't really see anyone who'd look like such a great player to him – just old geezers. Then he noticed a young man, at most perhaps about 20 years old, who was watching a game. Not that he would have seemed like someone overly strong, but at least he was decades younger than most of the other people around.
"What about him?" he asked, nodding toward the man. Sai followed his gaze.
"Oh. Ashiwara-sensei, you're here too!" Sai exclaimed. The man looked up and grinned at him.
"Hi, Fujiwara-kun! Yet another game that leaves the ordinary mortals to wonder?"
"Don't be joking, Ashiwara-sensei! But… I was thinking, could you play a teaching game with Shindou?"
"Teaching game?" Hikaru glanced at him
"Sure!" The man came to them smiling widely. "Shindou-kun, huh? I'm Ashiwara Hiroyuki, 3-dan, nice to meet you."
Hikaru looked at Sai. "A pro?" He bowed his head a little. "Shindou Hikaru. Nice to meet you too."
They sat down by the next table. Hikaru watched from the corner of his eye as Sai and Touya started their game. They both had been chatting happily as they sat down by the table, but now their expressions had changed. Both were completely focused in their game, and Hikaru figured they probably didn't even remember where they were anymore, lost in a world of their own.
"…Shindou-kun?"
"Huh?" He looked up, realizing that Ashiwara had been talking to him.
"I just asked if you've known Fujiwara-kun long," he repeated.
"Oh, since they moved here from Kyoto," Hikaru replied. "He was in my class in elementary school."
"He's really a great player, isn't he?" Ashiwara went on lightly. "I'm so happy Akira-kun met him. Those two are like a refreshing rain for the go world."
"Mmm," Hikaru uttered, not really keen on the topic.
"So how long have you been playing?"
"Oh, about five months, I think. Though the first month or two I was really just reading books."
"Five months?" Ashiwara gave him a questioning look. "Are you sure you wouldn't want more stones…?"
"Nah, it's okay," Hikaru said. "It's a teaching game, anyway." He was still glancing at Sai and Touya's game, but told himself then to concentrate on his own game. If he ever wanted to catch up with those two…
He paused. Catch up? What was that about? Now that he was truly learning the game, he understood much better how far away those two were from him. Was he too now obsessed enough about a board game of all things, to harbor such dreams? He gave the thought a little lopsided smile, wondering what on earth he was even doing in this dusty, tobacco-smelling place, when he could be running with a ball out in the sun. It was summer, too!
But then he looked at the checkered board in front of him, and knew exactly what he was doing.
They played the game and discussed it long afterward. Ashiwara was a good teacher, Hikaru figured, and it crossed his mind he probably should count himself lucky to be getting a free teaching game from a pro like this. Otherwise… he decided that the young pro had to be the second most good-natured, carefree and naive person he knew. (The first, of course, being Sai.) But, he admitted, he did like Ashiwara.
When they were done talking about the game, Hikaru turned to his friends. He saw that Sai and Touya too had finished their game long ago, and were apparently now discussing some pro game. He watched them a while quietly, for a moment forgetting his opponent. Then he realized that Ashiwara was watching him.
The man grinned at him when he glanced at him. "They're still quite far away, aren't they? But I'd say… they'd better be looking behind. Because if you truly played your first game just a few months ago…" he shook his head, and grinned again. "The go world should be sitting tight, is all I'm saying. I'm not sure if it's going to survive three players like this."
Sai noticed that they were finished and turned to them. "Did you have a good game?" he asked Hikaru, who nodded.
"Yeah."
"I'd say so too," Ashiwara agreed. He stood up. "We never knew exactly what walked in when Akira-kun first brought you here, you know? And I've a feeling here's a similar case." He winked at Hikaru. "Work hard, and you'll do it."
"Do what?" Sai asked Hikaru, curious, but the boy just shrugged as if to say he had no idea what the man was talking about.
Ashiwara left to play against other customers, leaving the boys alone. "Would you two like to play a game?" Sai asked hopefully.
"Why not," Hikaru said. "I feel like I could play some more."
"If you want to," was all Touya said. Hikaru grimaced inwardly at the amount of handicap stones he needed for a real game with Touya, and grimaced again, this time outwardly, when he lost despite all those stones. Touya had remained quite expressionless during the whole game and their discussion of it, and he didn't really have a clue what the other boy was thinking. Sai seemed to be pleased with his game, but he had a feeling that Touya wasn't, still, overly impressed.
He bit back a sigh. Long way to go, huh? But, he thought, remembering Ashiwara's words, step by step he would yet reach them.
"By the way," Touya said as they were cleaning the board. "Tomorrow is the last day to apply for the pro exam prelims."
Hikaru paused. "What?"
"I guess you won't be taking part into the test this year either," Touya continued talking to Sai, who shook sadly his head.
"No. My parents aren't changing their minds."
"What!?" Hikaru repeated. "What are you talking about? Pro exam? But you can't take it yet, you're just kids!"
"Of course we can," Touya said. "There's no lower age limit."
"But…!"
"Touya would have probably passed the test already a year ago," Sai said. "But he chose to wait for me. But my parents…" he sighed.
Hikaru was glancing from Touya to Sai and back. "You're joking, right? We're still in the middle school, how could you turn pro? Isn't that something people do when they're adults?"
"I told you there's no lower age limit," Touya said, annoyance in his voice. "The youngest pro ever was 11 when he got started."
Sai wasn't really listening to them. "You shouldn't wait for me," he said quietly to Touya. "I mean it. There's no telling how long you would have to wait. And it's not like we couldn't still play together. I'll catch up to you if I some day do become a pro."
"When," Touya corrected him sharply. "When you become a pro. And no, I'm not doing it yet. Let's wait a year. Maybe, once we're finishing middle school, they'd be more open to it."
Sai sighed. "Maybe." He sounded quite doubtful.
Hikaru still just stared at them, not quite knowing if they really were serious.
...
"So… " Hikaru said to Sai when they left from the go salon, "when you were talking about turning pro, you actually meant doing it right away? Why didn't you tell me!" he exclaimed as Sai nodded, but calmed down right away. "Would you… really be able to do it already?"
Sai nodded again. "Touya would, I know that. And… I might be a tiny bit better than him."
"Of course you are," Hikaru said automatically. He paused to think about it for a moment. "So if you turn pro… you wouldn't have to go to high school?" He grinned. "That'd be great!"
"I wouldn't have to," Sai said, "but I would, anyway."
Hikaru gave him an astonished look. "What? Voluntarily.?"
Sai laughed out loud at his expression. "Of course! Education is important, Hikaru!"
The other boy grimaced. "Maybe, but I still don't have to like it. I hate school! Thank god for vacations… hey, I was going to ask, how about going to the beach some day?"
"I… I don't think… you just go if you want to," Sai said, not looking at him.
"What, why?" Hikaru gave him a confused look. "I thought you like swimming!"
"I do… but… I don't like beaches. The sand…and salty water…"
"We could go to a pool, too."
Sai's smile was quite strained. "I don't know. Maybe some day. I'll think about it. I just wish I could make my parents understand how important go is to me," he returned to the earlier subject.
"Yeah. They don't play go, do they? Otherwise they'd realize how good you are. It's kinda stupid." Hikaru fell quiet, watching the blue sky above them and wondering what his parents would say if he wanted to become pro. He didn't really have a clue, but he figured that if he really were good enough, most likely they wouldn't be against it.
To become pro. It sounded like a wild dream. But… from what Ashiwara had said… maybe it wasn't impossible?
When they parted, Hikaru was still dreaming his wild dreams. Sai, on the other, wasn't feeling quite as optimistic. His life, at the moment, seemed to be heading into a completely wrong direction in all accounts. He couldn't believe he'd ever become pro. At least not without going against his parents and angering them – and he didn't want to do that. And also…
He swallowed. He would have really wanted to tell Hikaru the truth when the boy talked about going to swim, and ask his opinion, but… he just didn't find the courage to do that. As he came home he headed straight to the bathroom and locked the door. He took of his shirt, and looked at himself in the mirror.
He wasn't imagining it. No matter how strongly he wanted to deny it. He placed his hands against his chest and felt about, carefully, and it was unmistakable; something that felt a little swollen and tender under his palms. Now the mirror told it too: there was soft curvature on his chest. Something… very much like the beginning of breasts.
He pulled the shirt back on. Maybe it was just some hormonal imbalance that'd go away. The doctor had said he'd be hitting puberty soon… that there'd be changes. He really had hoped for changes toward better. Of course not, with his luck.
"Did you have a good day with Shindou-kun?" his mother asked as he came out of the bathroom.
He managed a weak smile. "Yes, mother." She smiled at him and went her way.
Mother, he wanted to say to her back, what's happening to me? Why am I growing breasts?
For a moment he wondered what she would say to that. How her face would look. It was almost comical.
Boys don 't have breasts, darling. Now, get rid of them right away.
Maybe the growth would go away on its own. He wouldn't yet tell her. Or anyone else. Not until he absolutely had to. It meant no swimming, which was sad, but… he could live with that.
...
The summer passed, and nothing changed. At least not toward the better. Sai had started wearing quite loose shirts. He was beginning to get quite worried about what he would do when they would go to swim at school – maybe he would have to pretend to be sick. But how often would he be able to do that?
Maybe he should ask his mother if they could go to meet doctor Akimoto, although it wasn't time yet. He would rather talk first about this with him than with a school nurse.
That would be the smart thing to do, he knew that. But somehow he never said anything. Every day he thought about it, but then decided to wait until the next day. As if anything would change overnight.
He was spending his every free moment playing go these days. It helped to distract his mind. He met with both Akira and Hikaru as often as he could, and to his joy Hikaru's game kept on improving. He loved watching Hikaru play – the boy really could get so engrossed in the game it was simply beautiful.
That seemed to be the only good thing in his life these days, though. He thought about the lipstick he had once bought, and his mother's endless sermons of what boys did and didn't do. Was it possible he had somehow brought this on himself? Should he have tried to be more boyish, doing boy things? He still played soccer with Hikaru at times, though. And they did go to watch those stupid action movies. And sometimes they played with his model planes and video games. And thinking about it, the world of go was a male dominated world, too. Wasn't that boy enough? Why did something like this have to happen to him? Had some wicked god been listening in when he had blurted that nonsense about it being easier to be a girl?
He snorted, well understanding how ridiculous his thoughts were. But still he wondered if maybe he should somehow try, just in case, to change himself to a more boyish direction. Who knew, perhaps things like that really could have an effect on hormones, or something. He just didn't really know exactly how to do that. Letting his mother finally cut his hair might be one thing, and it surely would make her happy. He was desperate enough to actually consider that, but in the end decided it was nonsense. Still, he couldn't help feeling he should do something.
Both Hikaru and Akira seemed to have noticed there was something troubling him. Hikaru would suddenly punch him in the side when they were walking on a street, tell him to cheer up. "Is it that go pro thing?" he'd ask. "Don't worry about it so much, you can do it some day!" Akira would just watch him with quiet eyes, and tell him that if he wanted to talk, it was alright.
He didn't. Or maybe he did. Yes, he did want to talk about it with someone, but… not with them.
"Mother," he said one day. "Are you sure there's nothing wrong with me?"
She gave him a strange look. "Why on earth are you asking such questions? Of course there's nothing wrong with you!"
"Shouldn't puberty be starting soon?"
Akira's had, he had noticed, in fact already nearly a year ago. He was still growing taller, and his voice had been cracking already at the time they first met. And though Hikaru was coming behind, he was clearly changing too. As were pretty much all boys in his class. He was the only who still sounded like a girl… if anything, his voice had got higher.
"Oh, darling, don't worry. It'll start when it will start. It's all very natural, nothing you should worry about."
What's natural about me, he thought glumly, but said nothing. In his room he took out his diary from its hiding place. He thought of writing something about Hikaru's progress, or about the past school week, but instead he found himself writing something completely different.
I hate my body. These days I'm not even sure if it is my body, it feels like a stranger. As if one day I woke up and found myself in a wrong body. Or maybe it didn't happen so suddenly… I'm not sure when it happened. But this body of mine… I don't get it. It feels wrong. It is wrong, and I HATE IT.
The pencil's tip broke as he wrote the last words.
Somehow he survived that autumn. The pro test passed and he tried not to pay too much attention to it, or to the fact that Akira still had not taken it. At school, when they changed clothes for PE, he tried to observe his classmates as inconspicuously as he could, and saw that they really were all turning into young men. He was a little relieved, though, to notice that at least two other boys seemed to have some kind of mild swelling around their nipples – so small that he probably wouldn't have noticed anything if he hadn't been looking. He was quite sure the boys themselves had noticed, for they were awfully quick to change their shirts.
Perhaps, he told himself, it really was perfectly normal and nothing to worry about. He decided to wait, yet. Time would, surely, bring about a change.
So he firmly believed, but nothing seemed to be happening. The other boys' breast growth seemed to have stopped on such a mild level he wasn't sure if he could call it that, but in his case there was constant if minor growth.
One day when he came home from school he found his parents discussing something quite animatedly in the study. There were papers on the table, and to his curiosity he spotted the folder with his medical information among them.
"I just don't think we should rush with—" his mother was saying, when her eyes fell on him and she fell silent in mid-sentence. "Sadao! Why are you here already? Weren't you supposed to meet Touya-kun after school?"
"He called me, he's sick." He eyed the papers curiously. "What were you talking about?"
"Oh, we… nothing, nothing." She started hastily collecting the papers from the table. "We were just going through all the papers and seeing if there was anything old that could be thrown away."
"Most of that old trash could be thrown away," his father grumbled. She shot a look at him, but still put all papers neatly into their own binders and folders.
"So, how is Touya-kun?" she asked, turning to Sai. "I hope it's nothing serious."
"No, just a cold." Sai's eyes were resting on his medical binder. "He should be alright soon." He went to his room and started right away doing his homework, but the image of all those papers spread on the study room table didn't leave his eyes.
And one night in early December as he came home from the study group and found the house empty, he went to find that little key his mother held in her room. He walked to the side-board where all the Very Important Papers were held, and opened it. For a moment he paused, looking inside. There was the binder that belonged to his father – he'd better not touch that one. Some papers of his mother's, other binders he didn't know… ah, there. The simple black binder that held his medical information.
He took it in his hand and hesitated yet a moment – but a very short one. Carefully he opened it and took the papers out, scanning them with his eyes. There were the ones from last winter, the prescriptions when he had been sick. He looked deeper, glanced at the oldest papers, his birth certificate among them.
A word caught his eye on one paper, and he took it out, frowning. Surgery? It was a medical report.
Patient: an 8-month-old boy with PAIS grade 2 … corrective surgery… hypo… hy-pos-pa-di-as…
His frown deepened. Hypospadias? What was that? He turned the paper in his hand. It was about him. It did have his name on it… but… why didn't he know he'd had surgery when he was a baby?
And what was PAIS?
He placed the paper down and grasped another, dated the year he was born. He read on, but it seemed to him it was written in some foreign language and he didn't understand anything.
A door closed. Steps approached, came to an abrupt stop.
"Sadao!" He turned to look and saw his mother standing in the doorway, a shocked look on her face. "What are you doing?!"
A moment he just stared at her. "Mother," he said then, his voice sounding strange to his ears, "what is this partial androgen insensitivity syndrome?"
"Sadao…" his mother breathed. A moment she seemed somehow deflated, as if she were just about to fall to the floor like an empty balloon. Then she walked to him and took the papers from his hands. "Why are you looking at these?"
"Why wouldn't I be!" Suddenly he was yelling. He jumped up and grasped the papers back. "They're about me, aren't they! What's this… what's this PAIS thing? Why didn't you tell me I have it? And why didn't you tell me I've had, had that… that surgery… hypo… hypo-whatever it was? What is it? What's wrong with me!"
"Nothing's wrong with you, dear," she said in a calming voice. "We didn't tell you because… well, there was no need. Everything is alright now… we didn't want to upset you over nothing."
"What's alright?" he whispered, whole body shaking. "I am not alright! I've felt that for long, that something's off! And you… you…" he felt the tears rolling down his face. His mother reached out her hand as if to wipe them away, but he turned and ran before she could touch him.
He ran upstairs, into his room, and didn't stop before he'd reached the bed. He dove into it and drew the blankets over him, covering himself completely, grasping tight his pillow and curling up as small as he could.
"Sadao…" His mother walked to him and sat down on the bed, placing a hand on his shivering shoulder. "Listen, darling. We just wanted what's best for you. This PAIS thing… it's so mild you don't have to worry about it. It's just grade two, on a scale that goes up to seven. That's almost nothing, right? The hyposapdias was a minor thing that was completely corrected when you were small, I didn't think it worth mentioning. It was nearly just a cosmetic thing – it's just that the fancy Latin name makes it sound more serious than it was."
"You still haven't told me what those things mean," Sai muttered from under his blankets.
His mother gave a deep sigh and her hand retreated from his back. "PAIS," she said, and her voice sounded troubled, "it's kind of… something of a… an intersex condition."
"What?" Sai breathed into the pillow he was hugging.
"But as I said, yours is very mild. It's not serious. It's simply that your body isn't quite responding to androgens as it should."
"What did you mean by intersex?" Sai asked, sitting up. He looked at his mother, still wrapped in the blankets.
"It's… it's not…" His mother really seemed uncomfortable. "Maybe that wasn't the right word for me to use. I'm not… too good in explaining this. How about we go to meet the doctor and he'll tell you everything? He'd do better job about it, I might say something wrong."
"What, like the truth?" Sai sniffed his nose. "No doctor's ever told me anything, either."
"Hush now, darling." She touched lightly his cheek. "It's alright, believe your mother. Let's talk when your father comes home. And then we can meet the doctor, and…"
"Father's not coming home before tomorrow," Sai muttered.
"Well, yes." Her eyes were troubled, not really looking at him. "But… don't worry. All is going to be fine. Now, let me put these away…" She collected all the crumpled papers from the bed and gave him a smile that attempted to be sweet. "Supper is ready soon, and…"
"I'm not hungry." He lay down again.
His mother sighed. "Now, Sadao… don't take it so. You'll see yet you're upset over nothing." A moment she stood by his bed, staring at his unmoving form, but as he said nothing she finally walked out with the papers.
Sai didn't go down for the supper, didn't eat anything his mother brought up for him. He stayed in the bed, staring blankly at the wall, not responding to anything his mother said or did. Night came, and at some point he fell asleep. He slept tight and deep, a dreamless sleep as if completely exhausted, and in the morning when he woke up somehow he was still tired.
He went downstairs, feeling dizzy and fuddled, and ran straight across his mother, who must have been waiting for the sounds of him getting up.
"Sadao, darling." She came to give him a hug. "I'm so sorry, I never wanted to cause you any distress. You believe that, don't you? Listen, I've spoken with your father, and he agreed that we'd better let the doctor do the explaining. We're going to meet him tomorrow, all of us together. You don't have to go to school today, we…"
"No," Sai said quietly. "I'll go."
"Are you sure?" She watched him worriedly. "Maybe it would be better for you to stay home and rest."
Sai just shook his head.
...
At school it didn't take Hikaru long to notice that something was off. Point 1: Sai seemed somehow even more pale than usual. Point 2: he didn't talk in the class. At all. Point 3: he didn't want to play a round of speed go during the break. That made Hikaru worried.
"Are you okay?" he asked with a frown. "You look kinda pale."
"I'm fine," Sai muttered, staring at the floor without any expression.
"Sure?" Hikaru reached out and touched his forehead. "You don't feel hot. But…"
"I said I'm fine," Sai repeated, and Hikaru fell quiet, confused at the way he'd snapped.
"So… would you like to do something…?"
Sai just shook his head, and Hikaru left him alone, though he was still giving him worried looks.
Sai sat alone in the corridor, trying to think, unaware of Hikaru's looks. Then he got up.
"What's it?" Hikaru was right away by his side.
"Need to go to the toilet," he muttered and walked away. Hikaru was left standing in the corridor, watching after him with a confused frown.
...
Sai didn't go to the toilet. Instead he headed to the computer room, which luckily was almost empty. He sat down by a computer apart from the other kids, and went online. The use of internet on the school computers was quite limited, but at least he could use a search engine, and hopefully open at least some of the links. He wrote partial androgen insensitivity syndrome on it carefully, one sign at a time, and hit search.
Partial androgen insensitivity syndrome (PAIS) is a condition that results in the partial inability of the cell to respond to androgens … impairs the masculinization of male genitalia in the developing fetus … the development of male secondary sexual characteristics at puberty…
The pictures were blocked. Which, he thought, probably was a good thing.
He went on reading the article, wondering, trying to understand… but in general the text seemed to be filled with such strange words that he felt he'd need a medical dictionary to follow it. It felt to him he had barely started to read it when the bell rang, announcing the end of the break.
He clicked yet one more link, but that one didn't open. A quick search gave him an address, though, and after short consideration he wrote it down. Just in case.
He stood up and, before closing the browser, cleared the history. He grasped his backpack and started heading out of the room, but paused then. He didn't feel like he'd be able to concentrate on the periodic table and elements right then. He had too many questions without answers.
...
Hikaru could hardly help noticing that Sai was missing during the chemistry class. As soon as the lesson ended he rushed out of the room and set out to look for him, but couldn't find a trace anywhere. No one had seen him. Even the teachers didn't know where he had gone. There was no sign of Sai during the rest of the day. Hikaru hanged around at the go club a while, but Sai didn't come – then again, he hadn't even been going to come then, as he had been going meet Touya after school. Once it was clear he must have left the school a while ago, Hikaru left too, and got home as fast as he could.
The first thing he did was trying to call Sai's mobile, but there came no answer. He left a message, a very short and tense, "Sai? Call me." Next he called Sai's home number, but there was no one home. Then he dug out the phonebook and, after a frantic search, found Touya's home number.
A female voice answered after just a few rings. He asked after Touya, but the woman told him that 'Akira-san' wasn't home – he was going to meet a friend of his at the go salon.
"Fujiwara, right?" Hikaru said, wondering about that 'Akira-san'. Did they have servants or something? "Actually it's him I'm trying to find, but he didn't answer the phone. Does Touya-kun have a mobile? Can I call him?"
The woman gave him the number, and he thanked her hastily and pretty much slammed the phone down. Touya too answered right away, as if he had been waiting for a call.
"Is Sai there?" was the first thing Hikaru said. There was a moment's pause at the other end.
"Shindou?" The tone was a little annoyed. "No, he's not. He seems to be late."
"He left from school in the middle of the day and said nothing to anyone. And he's not answering his phone. He's not home. Or at least not answering the phone there either."
There was a moment's pause in the other end. "Why would he do something like that?"
"I don't know." Hikaru had a bad feeling. A very, very bad feeling twisting in the bottom of his stomach like a snake. "Something's wrong. He was… he was somehow down the whole day. Didn't talk to me. Didn't play go during the break. Just sat and stared into nothing, and… I don't know. Something's wrong," he repeated.
"I'll try calling him, too," Touya said. Hikaru nodded, though the other boy could hardly see that.
"Call me if you catch him. And if you don't, too!"
They ended the call. Hikaru remained by the phone, waiting. His mother peeked at him from the kitchen.
"Hikaru? Want to taste the curry I'm making?"
He shook his head. "I'm waiting for a call."
"What's going on?" she asked. "Is everything okay?"
"I don't know. Why doesn't he call already!"
"Who?"
"That idiot!" He glowered at the phone. "Call already!"
"I don't think glaring at the phone will make whoever it is you're waiting for call any faster," Mitsuko said reproachfully. "Why don't you..."
The phone rang, and Hikaru grasped the receiver. "Yes?" His face fell. "It's for you," he said darkly. "Don't talk long!"
She shook her head at him and took the receiver. Hikaru stood next to her as she chatted with her friend, tapping his foot, glancing at the clock. Finally she gave a sigh. "Listen, I'm actually in the middle of cooking. How about I'll call you later?"
She gave him a look as she ended the call. "What on earth is so important?"
"Sai is," Hikaru muttered. He waited a moment, but couldn't then suppress his impatience anymore.
"Did you get him?" he asked at the moment Touya answered.
"You just can't start a phone call with giving your name, can you?"
"Did you?!"
"No," Touya sighed. "And he really should be here by now if he's coming." Hikaru could hear the frown in his voice. "Don't you have any idea where he could have gone?"
"He said nothing." Hikaru ran his hand through his hair. "I don't know. I'll… I'll go to look for him."
"Where will you look?" Touya sounded skeptic. "This is a big city…"
"Everywhere!" Hikaru exclaimed. "Call if you find him! And if this number is reserved, it's just my mom, so call again later."
Touya had barely time to say anything before he dropped the receiver down and rushed to the front door. "Mom! I need to go out!" he yelled, pulling his shoes on. "Don't talk all evening on the phone! If Touya rings, or Sai, especially Sai, then… well, then… take a message!" He grimaced. "Why don't I have a mobile?" he muttered angrily. "Mom! I want a mobile phone for Christmas!"
His mother came to the hall, too. "Where are you going to? Hikaru? Don't stay out long, the supper's…!" But Hikaru was gone already.
He set out running, but slowed down soon. Touya was right, Tokyo was more than a big city. How would he ever find one boy there? He didn't even know where to start.
Some place related to go? But the safest bet was Touya's dad's go salon, which was where Sai was supposed to be and where he wasn't. No… most likely wherever he was, it wouldn't be connected to go.
He wasn't kidnapped or something, was he? Anyway, his parents were really rich…
He considered a moment and decided he'd better go to check Sai's home in person. Maybe someone had come home and could tell him something. Surely Sai's parents had to know where their son was.
It took him a while, but finally he arrived at Sai's home. He pushed the bell at the gate, and now at least Sai's mother was there, letting him in.
"Shindou-kun," she said, but there was something strained in her smile and she seemed tired. "Sadao is not home. He went after school to meet Touya-kun."
So much of them knowing anything.
"Yeah, but… I just spoke with Touya and he's not there."
"He's not? Maybe he's just late." Her tone was light, but she was frowning, and she went straight for the phone to call him.
"No answer," she muttered after a while. "Well, maybe he doesn't hear it." She smiled again at Hikaru. "I'm sure there's nothing to worry. He's surely just late. Maybe there was something he had to do first, and he didn't remember to mention it. It's surely alright."
Hikaru gave her a look. She kept on smiling at him that same strained smile, and something in the way how she kept on assuring him that all was fine led him to think that maybe he'd been wrong. She did know something.
"Is something wrong?" he asked slowly, and her smile faltered a little.
"No, nothing, of course not. But I'm really quite busy, Shindou-kun. And as Sadao's not here…"
"I'll be going then," he muttered. "Umm… may I use the phone first?" Getting the permission, he called to Touya.
"He's not home," he said. "Yeah, yeah, it's me. I thought I'd check. No, they don't know anything… I'll keep on looking. Bye."
Only after he'd left he realized he hadn't mentioned Sai leaving from the school in the middle of the day to his mother. Shouldn't the school inform her about things like that? He would have thought so, but apparently they hadn't.
He stayed a long while standing by the gate of Sai's home, simply because he didn't know where to go. And maybe Sai would be coming home? Minutes passed by and there was no sign of the boy. He glanced at his watch. Half past six. Not that it was that late, but if Sai had left from school around noon, he'd now been missing for six hours.
Should they call the police? Though wasn't that Sai's parents job…
No point just hanging around there. He started, slowly, heading toward the subway, and not knowing what else to do went home. Anyway, he should check if someone had called him.
There had been no phone calls. Hikaru hovered by the phone, biting his lip, racking his brain to figure out what to do next. In the end he called Akari. The girl didn't know anything about Sai, either. "You mean he's missing?" she sounded worried. "I saw him at school in the morning, but he didn't seem to even notice me… is something wrong?"
"That's what I'd like to know! Don't you have any ideas?"
"No… but if he's down, maybe he'll go to some place he likes. Have you checked everywhere?"
"Everywhere he likes? I don't even know all places! Besides, you'd think he were at the go salon then, or something, and…"
"Maybe he wants to be alone?"
Hikaru paused. Be alone? Where would Sai go if he wanted to… He had an idea. "I gotta go." He slammed, once again, the receiver down.
"Hikaru! Stop manhandling the phone like that!" His mother had appeared from somewhere behind his back. "What's going on? Something about Sai-kun? Hikaru…"
The boy didn't stop to explain. He was already at the front door, pulling shoes on. "I gotta go," he repeated.
"Hikaru! The supper!" But again the boy was out already.
The park. That little park where they used to play, with the pond and all. They hadn't been there for a while. But Sai had liked the place, hadn't he?
It was his best bet. His only bet, really.
He ran all the way to the park. There weren't many people around – the day had been somewhat chilly and rainy, not really a time for hanging around in a park. But by the pond, sitting on a bench, he saw a small huddled figure, and rushed to it.
"Sai!" he yelled, and the figure glanced at him. "Sai." He came to a stop, panting. "Where have you been! You've got any idea how worried I've been? Why don't you answer your phone?"
"Sorry."
Hikaru let out an exasperated breath. "Sorry, huh? What the... So, what's going on? Why did you leave like that from school?" As Sai still kept quiet he shook his head in annoyance. "Is it about the pro test thing? Did you have a fight with your parents?"
Sai's shoulders were shaking. Hikaru hovered behind him, uncertain. "Sai?" He gave a nervous laugh. "Hey, c'mon! You're not crying, are you? Saaiiii… if you keep on bawling that much people will…"
"What?" Sai turned sharply to look at him. His eyes were dark and shadowed, and angry. "If I keep on bawling, then what? People will think I'm a girl? Cause boys don't cry? Is that what you were going to say?"
"No… I mean, well…" Hikaru stuttered, taken aback. "I don't… I didn't really mean anything? Sai? I… what's wrong?" He sat down next to his friend and tried to look at him, but Sai turned his face away. "What's going on? Where did you go from school? Why did you leave like that? C'mon!" He gave him a soft punch in the arm. "Say something! How can I help if you don't say anything?"
As Sai just kept on sitting quietly he too fell silent. Long they sat there in silence, two small figures in the darkening December evening. Hikaru glanced at him from the corner of his eye.
"Sai? Shouldn't we be going home?"
"I'm not going home," Sai muttered.
"What? Why not?" Hikaru grinned at him. "Don't tell me you of all people are running away from home."
"I'm not going home," Sai repeated firmly, face still impassive, and Hikaru's grin died away.
"But…" He fell silent, not knowing what to say. Sai sat next to him, unmoving save the occasional shiver of his shoulders as he sniffed his nose. The evening was getting darker and colder, and Hikaru definitely wanted to get him away from the park, somewhere, anywhere else – it was truly a gloomy place this time of the year.
"I don't know about you," he finally muttered, "but I'm getting cold. Sai?"
"You can always leave." He had seldom heard Sai sounding so grumpy.
"C'mon!" He gave his friend an annoyed glare. "I don't know what's the matter, but sitting here won't solve anything. You can bawl all you want, but what will it help? Let's go now!" He jumped up and grasped Sai's arm. "Sai! Start moving! I'm not going anywhere if you won't, and I'm getting cold!"
Sai looked up at him. "I am not going home," he repeated yet once, quietly and strongly, his eyes hard.
"Well…" Hikaru watched him, totally at a loss. "How about you come with me, then? Are you hungry? Mom was talking something about supper. We need to call Touya too, he's been worried about you too."
Sai sat there quietly a moment longer but stood then up, saying nothing, and followed Hikaru.
"I guess we should call your mom, too," Hikaru said when they arrived at his home. "Tell her I found you. Is that okay?" As Sai remained quiet Hikaru dialed his home number.
Sai's mother picked up almost immediately. "Hi, it's Shindou. I… just wanted to tell you that Sai's here."
"He is?" The relief was clear in her voice. "Wonderful! I can come to pick him—"
"Actually, we were thinking that maybe he could stay the night?" Hikaru cut her off.
There was a pause in the other end. "The night…? I'm not sure if this is a good time for that. I'll…"
"Please? We'd like to play some more."
There was a long silence in the other end. "Could you give the phone to Sadao?"
Hikaru glanced at the boy, and offered him the phone. "She wants to talk with you," he said quietly.
A moment it looked like Sai wouldn't take the phone, but in the end he grasped it. "Yes?"
His mother said something and Sai listened, face expressionless. "I'd rather stay here," he said then. His mother spoke some more, but he shook his head vigorously. "I'll stay here," he repeated firmly and gave the phone back to Hikaru.
"I guess it's alright," Sai's mother sighed at the other end. "But I need to come to pick him up quite early tomorrow. Remind him he's got a doctor's appointment at ten."
"Okay! Thanks!" Hikaru ended the call and gave Sai a look. "Why do you have doctor's appointment tomorrow? Are you sick?"
Sai's lips tightened, but he said nothing. Hikaru gave him an annoyed look, beginning to grow weary of this. "Whatever. I need to call Touya too."
He was about to start the second call, but his mother stopped him. "Wait, wait, Hikaru. Is Sai-kun staying the night?" She smiled at the other boy. "That's okay, of course, but…" she paused, looking from one boy to the other. "What… what is going on?"
"That's what I'd like to know," Hikaru muttered, giving Sai a dark look.
"I don't know what's wrong," he told Touya on the phone. "But at least he's here. Will stay the night, he didn't want to go home." He felt a little strange talking about Sai when the boy was standing behind his back. "His mom comes to get him tomorrow morning, they're going to see a doctor." He glanced at Sai but the boy didn't react, just stood there with a sullen, closed look on his face. "Nah, don't be stupid, why'd we need you here? It's… hey, don't yell at me! …you think I'm not? Tomorrow? Okay, fine, whatever. Bye."
"Touya's coming here tomorrow, pretty early I think," he said to Sai. Sai kept still quiet.
Hikaru sighed, went to the kitchen. "How about that supper, mom? Enough for Sai too?"
"Certainly," she said, giving them a long look.
A little while later they were sitting by the kitchen table. Sai was eating his food quietly, one small mouthful after another, munching and gulping with what seemed almost automation. Hikaru's mother was watching them worriedly, her eyes wandering from one boy to the other and back.
"Look," she said. "I understand if you don't want to talk about everything with grown-ups, but if you've got some trouble… well, let me know if there's anything I can do, alright? Hikaru?"
"Sure." Hikaru nodded, not even looking at her. They finished the supper in silence.
"Aren't you going to tell me what this is all about?" Hikaru asked quietly when they were alone in his room. Sai sat at the edge of his bed, while Hikaru was sitting cross-legged on the floor. "You really can be stubborn!" he exclaimed when Sai still said nothing. "Well, whatever, let's not talk then. …want to play some go?" he suggested, not knowing what else to do. Sai shook his head.
"I'm tired. Could I go to sleep?"
"Already?" Hikaru gave him a look and glance then his watch. It was barely eight pm. But Sai really did look tired. "Well, I guess we could start making your bed…"
It was a restless night for Hikaru. He lay long awake in his bed, straining his ear to listen to Sai's breathing. He couldn't really tell if Sai, lying on a mattress on the floor, was asleep or not. The other boy was so quiet that every now and then Hikaru just had to take a glance to see if he still was there. When he finally did fall asleep he kept on being startled awake during the night, jumping to sit up and turning to look at the unmoving figure on the mattress next to his bed, fearing that Sai might have disappeared somewhere while he slept.
A/N: We kind of sped past Mitani here, but I didn't want to use too much time on his storyline. At first I was going to cut it completely out of this as he's not important to this particular story - I thought maybe he could just join the go club without being a cheater in this version. I don't know, maybe this short Mitani arc serves some purpose in here too (firstly, Hikaru's first visit to a go salon, secondly, showing how Hikaru's attitude has changed.)
And we're finally beginning to get started with the actual plot. ^^; So, AIS is the condition I decided to give Sai here. This is also why Sai isn't his real name in this fic. I figured his parents wouldn't give him a name that is an anagram of his condition…
I chose Sadao as Sai's real name, not only cause it begins with sa, but also because it's such a manly name. There are two ways to write it (I haven't yet decided which is used for Sai, it doesn't really matter): 貞夫 or 貞雄
貞 upright, chastity, constancy, righteousness
夫 husband, man
雄 masculine, male, hero, leader, superiority, excellence
Thanks for reading, once again!