Spot asks, "Do we have to eat in here?"
Cadpig all chipper says, "I think it's kinda sweet!"
Spot sighs in disbelief.
Rolly then asks Cadpig while in sunglasses, "Cadpig, whats going on with you?"
Cadpig tells him, "What do you mean?" while smiling.
Annoyed by her happiness, Rolly says, "Seriously? The room was cute? This place is sweet?"
Spot then tells her, "I am personally offended by this place. I don't know what you think is nice about it."
Lucky looks at all of them confused while Rolly says, "This place is disgusting. It is gruesome."
Cadpig still all happy looking says to all them, "It is charming. It is quaint. It's like out of a story book." She says sighing in her usual chipper cute self.
Lucky then jumps in saying, "Cadpig! What the hell is the matter with you?"
Cadpig gets a little stunned and then says, "Ugh! Okay! Mooch is flying in to come and get me and I'm going to go live with him for a little bit."
Rolly and lucky are a little shocked by what they heard. Rolly then said to her, "Well that is not happening! And I am appalled that my sister has turned into a selfish, duplicitous whore."
Just then a waitress who turns out to be the love interest for Lucky, that goes by the name of Two-Tone, comes by them.
Rolly then greets her, "Oh Hello!"
Two-Tone then gasps, "Lucky! Hiiiii!"
Lucky then a bit amazed and shocked to see Two-Tone lives in Schitt's Creek, and that she works in this restaurant.
"Oh Two-Tone!" he says smiling a bit, "Um! Very nice to see you again, I didn't know you lived here or worked here!"
"Oh yes I do Lucky!" She says cutely amazed at his appearance. "I've lived and worked here for nearly a year now, and love it to death! I feel twice as much knowing that your here now!"
"Ehhhh, well yeah Two-Tone I can't say I disagree with you there." Lucky then says. "I mean as much as I want to catch up with you especially perhaps after work maybe, I have a bit of a headache and am going through a lot right now. We all are as a matter of fact!"
"Awww! Lucky" Two-Tone says while petting him, "Well I hope I can cheer you up as well as the rest of yall to stat of saying that I will be your waitress today."
"I did read about you guys." She says while handing them their menus. "And everything you have gone through. And I can imagine how supper crappy it can be."
Lucky then says to Two-Tone, "Yeah, super crappy."
"Yeah!" Two-Tone says to Lucky and them, "I had a second cousin in Elmdale who did telemarketing, he made a ton of money. It turns out his entire business was illegal, and he lost everything."
Lucky then responds, "Hmmm, well we lost Everything cause Cruella bamboozled us via the Revenue. Now she finally has the barn. So now we have to live with our Aunt and Uncle. So yeah not quite the same."
"Yeah! But mind yall, he went to prison which is terrible but... he is learning Spanish! No mas, le duele! I think it means 'Stop. It hurts.'" Two-Tone says in such a cute voice and accent.
"Well! Wonderful anecdote." Rolly tells Two-Tone, "Could you give us a moment please?"
"Oh sure!" Two-Tone said, "Whenever your ready? Oh and before I forget Lucky! Here's some aspirin. And heres my number too! I wanna catch up with my cutie pie and help cheer you up from your misery."
Lucky shakes up in joyousness and says, "Well uh, gee thanks Pearl! You know I'd love too! As happy as I am to hear that, everything I'm suffering through right now had put me under pressure, so yeah I'll give you my number and you can call or text me. Either that or I can do so for you."
"Awww that's my cute Lucky star!" Two-Tone says, "Time so serve more people." she walks off giggling cutely.
Rolly then scolds Cadpig on her actions, "We will not let you abandon us like this Cadpig."
Cadpig says back, "I'm not going to be here and pay the price for our life choices here Rolly."
"Well that's just the act of a spoled puppy." Rolly says to her.
"Yeah!" says Spot, "I think its unforgivable!"
"I think you all are just super jealous cause my ass is getting out of here." Says Cadpig folding her menu up in front of Spot. Cadpig then adds to Spot, "Also, you have a big thing of dandruff on your eyebrow."
"Hey! Don't do that!" Spot shouts.
Lucky then says to everyone, "Alright you guys stop!"
Rolly tells Lucky, "The world is falling apart on us Lucky and I'm dying inside."
Lucky then tells him, "Well you know what, I'm feeling a little queasy myself." He then swallows the pill of aspirin Two-Tone gave him
"Well!" Says Lucky, "Brisket! What else is new?"
Cadpig opens her menu some more in front of Spot again which makes Spot angry.
"Give me some space!" Spot grits at her.
-Later back at the Motel-
They come back only to realize their doors are gone.
"Lucky. OMG" Rolly points out as he notices the problem.
"Ummm" Cadpig says in confusion.
Rolly and Lucky come toward their doorway. "These rooms did have doors didn't they."
Lucky says, "Yeah, it's a hotel, they're hotel rooms."
"It's a motel! These are motel rooms!" Spot corrects Lucky.
Cadpig says all worried as she runs inside, "What if they took our stuff!". Spot then says, "What stuff? There's no stuff to take."
Rolly then notices bits of pieces of paper written on them with all their pictures on them and their fake last names.
"Uh, Lucky Cadpig and Spot, Idk if yall have them too. But yall may wanna take a look at this."
Lucky notices the papers on the wall. The papers have their pictures with their names under them. Lucky Schitt, Rolly Schitt, Cadpig Schitt, and Spot Schitt.
"What!?" Lucky interjects. "What is all this!? who wrote this. Lucky Schitt!? Cadpig Schitt!? Rolly Schitt!? And Spot Schitt!?"
"What the fuck!" Spot and Cadpig exclaim as they come in and see the papers.
"Oh NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO." Lucky shouts as he gets in the process of gathering all them up and tries to suspect who did such a thing.
"Uncle Beamer! Son of a Bitch!" Lucky says.
Lucky comes in and slams the door to Coco's office.
"Hey! Lucky! Please be so kind not to slam the door please!" Coco says to him. "Aunt Coco your so happy to have doors, I believe we need to have a moment to talk here please! First of all what's the meaning of all this. Yall seriously calling US Schitt now?" He asks her. "Oh I didn't draw those." Coco says. "They were in our room. I belive one of yall did this. What kind of sickie dogs are yall? I mean Shit you two never like to eat on the floor after all. I bet you spend all day off the floor and sit in that chair all day. Is that what you've been doing since yall got his town?" Coco then points out. "Well sorry to be rude but I do not believe that's any of your business Lucky. Lucky points out to her. "Well I'm not buying this Auntie" Lucky tells her. "Whatever is fine but i"m afraid I'll have to keep them as a souvenier for your Uncle as he drew em like the sweet Picasso that he is now how else can I server you? Oh wait! Hmm let me guess, dooooooooooooooooors?" She asks him. "Yes its about doors Auntie! Yeah, my doors are gone, our front door, somebody stole our doors!" Lucky points out. "Did you have anything to do with this Aunt Coco!?" Lucky asks her in anger.
"Hmmmmmm maybe?" She says. "Auntie!" Lucky getting all more frustrated.
"If you must know Lucky, your Uncle and I had a little discussion earlier and I must say, I'm not too happy with you upon this matter." Coco says.
"Go find your Uncle! He's got quite the meeting for you Lucky!" directs Coco to Lucky. "He lives just down the street, you make a left out of the motel and then another left. It's a house with a truck in the driveway." Shes saying as Lucky makes the route for it.
"There's a bumper sticker of a naked Cruella" Coco says as Lucky heads out. Lucky all angrily disgusted and weirded out goes all, "UUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHH!" Angrily pulling at his ears with so much anxiety going on in him.
"Hey look you Luckster! You listen to me!" Shouts Coco to Lucky. Lucky then says, "No, I seriously can't believe I let you guys back into my life again! Uncle Beamer shed his hair all over the bed in me and Rolly's room. He wouldn't get out when we needed privacy. What are you guys trying to do to us. Revenge?" Lucky asked his Aunt.
"Lucky, your attitude is askew and I believe that since you and your bro sis and chicken friend are in custody with me and your Uncle and yall will live under our rules. End of discussion, I've got work to do Lucky. You may go see your Uncle now." Directs Coco.
Lucky then leaves muttering "This is the Schitts alright! UUUGGGGGGGGGH" he then looked around to see if nobody is near and then finds something to fist his hand to punch to within his anger. He punches some fence by the park and looks for his uncle.
Back at the motel, Rolly screams cause he looks through his jar of kibble and his kibble is gone.
"Oh my God! NO! NO! NO! NO!" He shouts as he looks at his jar.
"What?!" Cadpig exclaims.
"Agh!" Spot interjects.
"My kibble. It was here. It's not here." Rolly cries.
"Well where did they go?" Spot asks.
"I don't know. But I'm very hungry." Rolly cries out.
"Rolly we just had lunch like 30 minutes ago." Says Spot.
"I DON'T KNOW!" Rolly exclaims.
Rolly points out to Cadpig, "First you threaten to abandon me. And now my precious kibble is gone!"
Cadpig nearly puts her hands on her ears and says, "Okay, you are being super dramatic right now!"
"SHUT UP! And look for it!" Rolly shouts out. Rollys screaming continues as he looks in the drawers and they aren't there.
Lucky walks up to his Uncle's truck carrying Beamers stupid creations of him and his pup friends where he sees Beamer washing his windshield. When Beamer sees Lucky approaching him, he goes and hides behind his truck.
Lucky growls as he sees his action, "I see you Uncle Beamer behind the truck!"
Then Beamer comes out and says, "Yeah! Of course you see me! I'm working on my gravel!"
Lucky says, "Well stop that and look at this!" He shows his Uncle what he is doing to his pups calling them Schitt.
"First of all, what in God's name is the matter here! What do you think your trying to do do us?" Lucky in aggrivation asks his Uncle, "Lucky Schitt? Rolly Schitt? Cadpig Schitt? Spot Schitt?".
"Well if you must know Luckster, that is my toast on a souvenier to now raising you and your siblings and chicken!" Beamer points out.
"You are NOT calling us, 'The Schitts' Uncle Beamer this isn't funny! We are DEARLY! If you want to change our names for your sake you might as well call US 'The VanderCremes' cause thats what you and Aunt Coco were back at the mansion." Lucky states to his uncle.
"Oh I'm not changing your names, I love yalls names, especially 'Slut' the chicken!" says Beamer. Lucky barks and growls. "SPOT!" Lucky grits.
"Don't you snap at me you young Luckster!" Beamer says as he glares at his nephew close up. Lucky, while still angry, holds back putting on a little fret face after that reaction.
"By the way, good news for you guys! I talked to your Aunt Coco about that bathroom window." Beamer says to Lucky.
"Okay! Well that's the least of my concerns right now! Especially now that weve got THESE out of the way!" Lucky says as he shakes the drawing in the air throwing them out.
"Oh is it really? Well I DID have this feeling that you wanted to see me about something! So why don't we address your concerns shall we?" asks Beamer.
"THE DOORS!" Lucky points out, "Oh!" Beamer exclaims sarcastically. "I want my doors back, before it gets dark. Spot is afraid of moths." Lucky tells his uncle.
"Oh! Hmm." Beamer says, "Well heres the thing about that Lucky, you did a bad thing. And those drawings I made of you and your friends was just part of the punishment. But the thing was, you disrespected me in front of your brother, sister and chicken friend. And being the only one of the quad that came to your Aunt and I's mansion that one time in your own experience; after what you did to me here, with observance now they think less of me."
"I seriously doubt that's possible." Lucky states to his uncle, "And to be honest you were kind of panting behind our necks back at the motel."
"Lucky, when I was a kid and I did a bad thing, my father took the doors off of my room; and he said to me 'Beamer! Privacy is earned!'", Beamer explains.
"Okay! First of all, if I'm not mistaken, I'm pretty sure you and Aunt Coco gave me plenty of privacy back at that mansion." Lucky states to his uncle, "Second, I am having such a horrible time following what you are saying. What the hell does this have to do with privacy?"
"Nothing!" Beamer says, "I just got mad and I took your doors."
"Oh Screw you Uncle Beamer!" Lucky angrily says, "After all yall are the same dogs that never like to eat on the floor. Yall have that weird cocktail kibble you never let me enjoy for myself, and always had rules for manners for the meals yall made. Yall twist me out on watching my favorite superhero of all time 'Thunderbolt'"
"And now were here in this 'town' of yalls!" Lucky continues to state, "You shed your hair all over the bed, you remove our doors, you stench up the bathroom."
"Well who let yall stay in the room?" Beamer explains to Lucky, "I even booked yall in without a reservation as a family gift, so yall could have a peaceful home after Cruella destroyed yalls lives. But right now your acting like an intruder to our town."
"Oh, Oh I'm an intruder." Lucky says.
"Yes Luckster you damn sure are, scolding me like that in the motel!" Beamer points out to Lucky, "Now listen to me when I say, your Aunt and I are now in charge of you Rolly, Cadpig, snd Spots predicaments. And if this is the treatment you guys are going to give us, this is the result, and yall will have the doors back in further notice."
"Well Look, Uncle Beamer." Lucky calmly tells his uncle, "If you took offense to anything I said back at the motel, just KNOW it wasn't personal."
Beamer calmly says, "Alright. Apology accepted." Lucky then points out, "Well that was less of an apology and more of an explanation."
"Well then the less I accept your apology." Beamer says in return. "Which it wasn't." Lucky says. "So thank you again for that apology." "Well that was no apology and I can't do this anymore." Lucky says back.
Beamer gets back at Lucky and grabs his collar stopping his path, "Ah-Ah-Ah. Where do you think your going, and what do you think your doing?" Lucky looks in confusion. Beamer picks him up and looks close in his eyes, "Alright my dear 'merficul' nephew, this is the deal: This is where you live now. You, your brother, your sister, and Spot. Me and your Aunt are now officially your guardians and we are going to be sure your lives get better as yall face this rollar coaster in life. Any disrespect you give us, will result in any punishment like this until further notice. And finally I want to make clear, don't call us 'The VanderCremes' any more alright, we are "Schitt' now. You may find it humiliating, you may find it disgusting, you may find it funny, like it or now, I don't give a shit what my family or any other dogs or people out there think! Beamer and Coco Schitt is our names, and we are proud of it!" He remotely explains to his nephew. "Do you understand me?" Beamer then asks Lucky. Lucky a bit satisfied but still baffled by everything, obeys and nods.
"Now this conversation is over Lucky, I have got some errands to run. Enjoy yalls stay!" Beamer says as he then puts Lucky down then Lucky sits down for a minute, while Beamer gets in his truck and drives away.
Afterwards, Lucky makes his way back to the motel and on the way sees the drawings Beamer made and angrily kicks them out of his path.