Lmfao, guys, I read that a lot of men were really controlling (I'm sure not all men were) but. That's Bryan. Controlling. I'm not sure exactly how long he'll be around but you'll see Arizona Gravitating towards Callie.
To the guest who said, and I quote, "I really like this story, but by God do I hope that Bryan dies soon (painfully too)" I laughed out loud. I hadn't planned on killing the man, lmfaoooo
I'm doing something right because he is not supposed to be a likable guy. So that's good :)
/
The nights seemed to leave Callie restless lately, now more than ever. It was at 2 am that she felt everything and felt nothing all at once. And at other times, her dreams woke her up at night.
The thoughts of never being good enough, the idea of never being able to live up to her own standards. The very notion that she was failing her daughter and demonstrating just how worthless women really were to society. Showing her that the possibility of her accomplishing anything worthwhile was so farfetched that... That she might as well not even dream.
They didn't want to hear your dreams.
They would never want to hear your dreams.
And on mornings like those where the thoughts consumed her... she would get up and start her day. She'd get dressed- looking her absolute best- and would turn on the radio while she made breakfast. It was a silly tendency, to have the radio playing at 6 am- but it helped to rid of her mind of such horrid thoughts.
Rose's father was good man. He was an amazing father, and he was all the things that make a man a wonderful husband. He was financially supportive and strong, he wasn't overly affectionate- just enough- he always made sure that she and Rose had everything they could possibly need; even after his death. But he would taunt Callie for her ambition; mock her dreams as if they were nothing. He didn't believe she was smart enough to be a doctor- he didn't think women were smart enough to be doctors. He did however- think she was the perfect nurse.
Women weren't intended to be doctors, that's what nurse were created for.
And she felt so bad for feeling ashamed of being nurse! There was nothing wrong with the career of a nurse... it's just not what she wanted. But Carlos wanted Callie to be practical; women doctors didn't exist. And never would.
After the wedding and her pregnancy Carlos urged Callie to stay home. Who was going to raise Rosalie and tend to her? So, she quit her practice, stayed at home, and tried to be content with what she was told to be happy about. She had a family. And though she could never put her finger on it- she felt as if her marriage were missing something. Like her family was missing something.
Even with Carlos sleeping right next to her, she felt lonely.
And it wasn't that she didn't want a family, it was that... this wasn't how she wanted it. She wanted her career, and she wanted the family she had always dreamed of. Which- used to consist of a man like Carlos- but lately, Callie had been having other thoughts.
Thoughts that involved a blonde haired, dimpled smile, impossibly blue-eyed neighbor of hers. Thoughts that she didn't think were natural.
Rose had just finished her breakfast and had made her way to the family room to play with her dolls when the doorbell rang. Callie wiped her hands on her apron, she had just finished rinsing the dishes.
She wondered who it could be at the door this early in the morning, but in the back of her mind she knew. Arizona Bryant had been by to see her every day since she moved in. And as much as she wanted to complain, as much as she wanted to make it seem like a burden.
Seeing Arizona was the highlight of her day.
She lifted the bottom of her skirt and made her way around to the front door.
"Hello, Arizona," Callie greeted,
"Does Rose prefer Salisbury steak or beef stroganoff?" Arizona asked as she stepped inside the house freely with Bethany following close behind and automatically seeking out Rose.
"Uh...I think-" She had never thought about it before,
"Do you prefer Salisbury steak or Beef stroganoff?" Callie had to smile. She could see the wheels turning in Arizona's head, see her mind moving a mile a minute. The blonde was blushing and babbling, hands moving along as she talked in circles.
"Arizona- "Callie tried again but she was still talking.
"Now, I know what you're thinking, Calliope," she rambled. "You're thinking I'm silly to be making such a fuss about a dinner that is 4 evenings away. But see, I just want everything to be perfect. And I want you and Rose to enjoy yourselves-"
"Arizona," this time Callie emphasizes her words by grabbing Arizona's wrist, causing her to cease. "Arizona," she says a little softer. She finds herself wanting to calm the blonde down, so she allows her hands to slide downward a bit, threading her fingers through Arizona's.
"The evening will be perfect," she laughs, "and you can't go wrong with beef stroganoff," Callie winks.
Arizona nods slowly, her mouth going dry,
"Ok," she whispers.
Arizona felt embarrassed, barging in as if this were a life-or-death emergency. She stuttered something- she wasn't exactly sure what- but she thinks it was an apology. It had been so long since she and Bryan had had dinner guest over-, she was just so excited. Except for Bryan's partners, he didn't welcome people into the house often. And Arizona found herself to be quite clumsy around them. Both vocally and physically.
She dreaded them coming over, but she would never tell that to Bryan. When the partners came over, she felt on display, like she and Bethany were his trophy family.
Eyes locked. Fingers grasped. They stand there for a moment. Until Callie let's go and Arizona can breathe again.
Slowly, "I'm awfully sorry for interrupting," she mumbled, noticing the mess in the kitchen.
"Don't fret about it, Arizona," Callie grins. She takes a quick look over at Rose sharing her dolls with Bethany. "They've already became so acquainted with each other," she looks back at Arizona, "Stay a while,"
She pulls a chair out and Arizona sits. It takes a moment before Arizona thinks of something to say,
"Did you enjoy being a nurse? It seems like an awfully big job," She asks curiously. She found herself wanting to know more about Callie.
"It was okay. I really wanted to be a doctor," Callie whispers, "But, if you can't be one. Marry one, I suppose." It's a joke, but it comes out bitterly.
"Would you- "Arizona pauses, she doesn't want to say anything stupid, "Would you try going back into the medical field after Rose starts school?"
Thinking, "You mean as a doctor? Not as a nurse?"
"Yes,"
"It's awfully hard, Arizona," Callie sighs, her mind wondering to all the obstacles she'd have to endure- not only as a woman, but as a Mexican American woman as well. "Almost unheard of."
"I believe in you,"
It's that small sentence that brings a smile to Callie's face. And it's that smile that makes Arizona smile. Arizona finds herself looking down, not at the ground but at Callie's scarlet red lips. She finds herself-
"Uh," she shakes her head, shakes the thoughts, "I see you've settled in nicely,"
Callie gets up for a moment, grabbing two cups and the matching saucers from the cabinet. She poured the water from the tea kettle on the stove and placed one in front of Arizona. Then she sits back down.
"It didn't take as long as I thought it would," Callie glanced over, looking through the kitchen window to see what Rose and Bethany were up to, "Could you imagine having four?" She laughed and Arizona smiled weakly,
"Bryan wanted that many... 5 actually," Arizona answered thoughtlessly.
Callie blinks, "You're both still young. Bethany would make a great older sister,"
"Yes, she would," Arizona smooths her dress down a bit before speaking again, "But I'm not able to have any more children." She's not sure why she's told Callie that. It's a shameful secret she hasn't shared with anyone, a secret that she and Bryan don't ever talk about.
"Oh, Arizona," Callie reaches over the small table, taking Arizona's hand in hers. "I'm so sorry,"
"It's quite alright... I've never been one for a big family. Bryan however, it was all he talked about while we were dating."
Callie's not sure what to say, she wants to comfort Arizona, but she doesn't know how.
Slowly, "Bethany is perfect. You were blessed with one absolutely, amazing child. He should be able to see that... he's lucky to have her... and so lucky to have you."
"Sometimes… I don't think…" She stops. She cant possibly say it out loud. She's never said it out loud. And to Arizona's surprise, tears are rolling down her cheek. Just a few. And she's able to wipe them away but not before Callie notices.
"Arizona..."
"I'm fine, Bryan doesn't like to talk about it... but what would talking help?"
Callie scoots her chair closer. She extends her arm slowly, cupping Arizona's cheek; the same way Bryan had the other night, but this felt...
Different.
She strokes her cheek, and without thinking Arizona allows herself to melt into Callie's touch. She could get used to being this close to a Callie and for a moment, she forgets what she was crying for.
Callie whispers, "You're okay," her movements are easy, keeping Arizona close with the radio playing lowly in the background. Something is telling Callie to move away, to let go of Arizona because.. because she just should. But she is drawn to this woman in ways she's never felt before.
Weakly, "I've never told anyone before he-"God, does Callie's hand feel good. She must stop to focus on breathing. Focus on anything but how hard her heart is beating. "He doesn't want anyone to know,"
"I'm glad you told me," she finally, finally, removes her hand. "I have trouble sleeping at night," Callie breathes, "I think too much, so much, that it hurts sometimes." She knew they weren't the same, not even close, but she wants to put Arizona at ease. "I just... I dwell on things, my mind races with what if's..."
The tears have stopped, and blue eyes are watching brown ones. She understands that- being scared of one's own thoughts.
"In fact," Callie continues to talk, seeing how it's slowly calming Arizona down. "That's why I moved her... one of the reasons. I thought a new place might help,"
"I get like that sometimes as well," Arizona gives a small smile. "Has it worked?"
"I think so," Callie smiles.
"Thank you, Calliope," She tucks a curl behind her ear, "For listening..."
"Always." She smiles.
It's the times of silence that Arizona enjoys the most. The brief moments of silence seem to say a lot more when they're shared with Callie.
"I should get back to cleaning. This kitchen is a wreak," Callie stands, not wanting Arizona to leave, hoping that she'll-
"Would you like any help?" She stands and smiles, "It's the lease I could do after barging in the way I did,"
"That would be great,"
They don't talk while they clean. Calliope wipes the counter down and when she looks up, she notices Arizona struggling to place the dishes in the cabinet above the sink. She watched as the smaller women balanced on her heels and stretched; trying her hardest to reach. She tried her hardest not to laugh as she watched Arizona struggle, but she couldn't help it. And after a few seconds she wiped her hands on the apron once more and made the short walk over to the cabinets.
She clutched the smaller woman's hips, to keep her steady as she tried to reach the top shelf. Arizona gasped from the sudden touch. "Careful," Callie giggles. Arizona's back is to her front and it takes Callie and Arizona a moment to refocus. But Arizona can barely remember what she was doing with Callie holding her so tightly.
"Here, let me- "she lets go and Arizona lets out a breath, Callie leans in, taking the glass out of her hand.
Things seem to move in slow motion for a moment, a moment where both women felt as if they could stay like this forever. But now Callie has let go of Arizona's waist but she's pressing against her...
Arizona doesn't stop her. She doesn't want to.
Callie's just helping her reach the top shelf.
So, she smiles and hands Callie another glass, then another until they're working together like a machine.
Once they're done Arizona turns around to move on to the next task but it's then that she's painfully aware how close Callie is to her. There's less than a few inches between them and Arizona can't seem to understand why the air in the room seems to be so thick...
They're eyes meet but this time they don't break contact. For a moment Callie notices just how blue Arizona's eyes are. They have got to be the bluest eyes in the neighborhood...
"Calliope," Arizona clears her throat. She needs to say something, needs to break herself away from this spell the taller woman seems to have her under. She wonders if Callie even knows what's she doing to her. "Um... did you and Rose have any plans today?"
"I don't know my way around just yet," Callie smiles,
She feels herself shrink a bit, of course Callie didn't have any plans, she barely knew where the local market was!
"I'm sorry, that was a silly question, "Arizona admits.
"No," Callie shakes her head. "It was valid."
This takes Arizona back a bit, she's used to Bryan antagonizing tone with her.
"We could go for a walk?" She suggests, "I can show you around the neighborhood?"
"That would be lovely," Callie grins, "Let me get my coat."
"I'll get the girls ready,"
Arizona couldn't lie, she was excited. It had been a while she and Bethany took a walk...