FOUR

"You're making this personal."

The words danced in her head as she laid on her bed, wrapped in a towel, warm, and flushed from the shower. She felt hot tears of indignant fury stream down her cheeks as she stared blankly at the ceiling. How could he say that to her? After all she-after all they had been through?

A sob ripped from her throat and the force made her body bounce on the bed, only for her to freeze when she heard the sound of her front door shutting. She sat up quickly, glancing from nightstand to nightstand as she heard heavy footsteps quickly coming down the hallway.

"Scully?" Mulder's familiar voice called out, and she half considered that, despite the comfort of it not being a home invasion, maybe she should keep looking for her gun anyway.

"What, Mulder?" she snapped, moving so her feet were dangling off the side of the bed while she was clutching her towel to her chest, not having enough time to grab a robe.

Suddenly he was in the doorframe, his eyes widening and darkening at the sight of her. But instead of letting her get dressed, he closed the distance, coming to stand right in front of her knees. "Mulder," she admonished, surprised at his sudden proximity to her.

"Scully, I'm so sorry," he lamented.

"Don't you have somewhere to be?" she spat, not prepared to let a simple apology excuse what he'd said.

"I'm exactly where I need to be right now. There's nowhere else I'd rather be," he stated firmly.

She didn't respond and Mulder was silent for a moment as she just stared forward, looking through him. Then she felt one hand cup her cheek and coaxed her face upwards towards him. "You've been crying," he whispered, his face taking on a perfect mask of sadness and regret.

"How could you say that to me?" she asked, her voice cracking as a tear slid down her cheek, his thumb not quick enough to catch it before it hit her chest. "I thought I meant more to you than that. After all we've been through."

"Scully," he whispered, sitting down next to her on the bed. He was so close that his body moving against hers started to undo the fold of the towel, dragging it down slightly before she brought her hand up and clutched the fabric to her chest. Her nudity was the least of her concerns right now. "You're so much more than you could ever know."

"You don't give me a chance to know, Mulder!" she snapped, her voice rising. "Ever since Diana Fowley came back into your life, you've made me feel like second best. A consolation prize. It's obvious how much you prefer her to me." She didn't care if she was being catty, she was sick of holding her feelings in.

"Last I've checked, my name is on most of those files," she continued. "I have a file dedicated to me because of my personal interest in our work. What has she done other than turn our lives upside down?"

"You're right," he agreed.

That had been what she wanted to hear, but wasn't expecting, and it caused her to turn and look at him. He was so close to her and he was looking at her with such tenderness and affection. "Diana is insignificant compared to the way I feel about you, Scully. You have to know that."

She felt her breath hitch at his admission. "The way you feel about me?" she repeated, her voice breathier than she'd wanted.

Instead of answering, he leaned forward and pressed a warm kiss to her lips. It caused her to gasp and he took the opportunity to slip his tongue into her mouth and deepen the kiss, gliding his tongue against hers tentatively. When she opened her mouth more in acceptance, he took initiative to put one hand on her waist as the other slid into her hair.

Mulder was kissing her and the thought made her feel light headed. Not only was he kissing her, but he was phenomenal at it; she'd never felt so aroused by just a kiss alone. He pulled back when he needed a breath, but barely took time to do so before his lips were at the column of her throat.

"How could you ever think she'd mean more to me than you?" he asked, nipping and soothing her skin.

Scully barely felt coherent as she felt her body humming in response to his touch, her core aching with throbbing need. "You don't listen to m-ah!" she whimpered as he nipped at the skin beneath her ear.

His hand tightened in her hair and the feeling of the strands being pulled made her whole body shiver, much to his delight. Mulder pulled away to look at her, his face only a few inches from her own. "I hang off your every word, Scully. Without you, I'm lost."

He pressed his mouth to hers again, and this time he brought a hand up to hers and loosened her grasp on the towel, causing it to flutter down into her lap. His hand quickly found her breast as if it was second nature, and he tweaked her pebbled nipple while exploring the weight in his palm.

He moaned into her mouth and she felt her arousal start to dampen the towel she was sitting on. Mulder pulled away again and rasped, "I'm going to show you how much you mean to me."

Scully's brain could hardly focus on what he was saying since she was so drunk with lust. She watched as he fell to his knees in front of her and parted her thighs, baring herself to him. "You're so beautiful," he praised, using two fingers to tentatively part her labia. She gasped and her toes clenched as she felt him gently press into her with one finger, her heat clamping down on the digit.

His eyes fluttered shut as he pushed in deeper, curving his finger right on her g-spot as if he instinctively knew where it was. A breathy, high-pitched whine left her lips as her body reacted to the sensation. "Is this okay?" he asked huskily, his voice lower than she'd ever heard before.

It sent a bolt of arousal down her spine, and she had no doubt he felt her get wetter around his finger. "M-more," she begged.

He nodded and slid a second finger in, stretching her walls around him. Scully's head fell onto her shoulder as her back arched slightly, wanting to bring him deeper in. Her eyes had closed for only a moment before she felt a new, inexplicably wonderful sensation erupt on her clit. She opened her eyes an was met with the sight of Mulder with his mouth on her, his eyes boring into hers while he continued fucking her with his fingers.

"Oh my god," she moaned, undulating her hips against him in needy desperation.

She usually only could come this fast when she was by herself, but she was being driven crazy, overwhelmed and fully consumed by Mulder. Those lips she'd spent so many years looking at were currently playing with her clit and driving her wild. His tongue was dancing between pressure and gentle flicks and she swore she was incoherent with lust.

"Do you have any idea the things you do to me?" he rasped, the vibrations against her making her legs quiver on his shoulders.

She did have an idea, she could feel the bed move from the way he was grinding against it. As if his hips were desperately mimicking what his fingers were doing. She could tell he could barely contain just how much he wanted to fuck her, but he was putting her first and it made her feel loved.

"You're incredible," he groaned before flicking his tongue against her.

Her breath started hitching and she began squirming on the bed uncontrollably, her orgasm building rapidly and she couldn't handle how much she wanted it. Mulder picked up on the signs of her impending orgasm and became unrelenting in his efforts, his tongue not letting up while his fingers rubbed against her g-spot.

She gasped a lungful of breath as her orgasm tore through her, feeling like her entire body was set ablaze from Mulder's touch. Her hands clutched the bedspread while her hips bucked against him and her legs shook. Mulder rode out the orgasm with her, hips grinding against the mattress in desire of his own climax.

He pulled his mouth off of her and grinned at her breathlessly, her arousal coating his mouth. He kissed the inside of her thigh lovingly before whispering her name, "Diana."

Scully's eyes shot open as adrenaline coursed through her body. Her towel had fallen off because of her ministrations and her hand was shaking in between her legs.

Her face crumpled as her fantasy shattered around her. Mulder wasn't here, and none of that was true. She couldn't even convince herself she mattered to him more than Diana in her own fantasy.

It had felt like they'd been getting closer, like there was a chance something might happen. But she was never one to listen to her heart before her mind, and she'd waited. Now, by the time she'd finally allowed herself to acknowledge just how much she loved Mulder, she was too late.

It was all far too personal for her now, and she felt her heart start to ache in her chest.