Buck's P.O.V.

Almost as soon as Chris saw Kennedy she was attacked at the knees in a hug and drug over to where the boys and May were. Chris wanted to introduce her to all of his friends. After a first couple of minutes it seemed like the girls were forgotten about, and had started a conversation.

"So have you two been talking during the past couple of days that you haven't told me about." Is Eddie gonna be on this all night?

"No...I just happened to run into her, and invited her. I figured everyone would enjoy it." He still sent me that look, but thankfully left it at that. I did not want to hear about how much they think me and Kennedy would go well together. I was trying really hard to keep my distance. What happened tonight was a coincidence, and besides this was mainly for Christopher. That's what my relationship with her should entail; that's all it should entail. I look back over to where the person in question was to see that she was now talking to Maddie, and had also been looking my way. She sends me a quick smile before walking over here.

"You good there? You seemed a little dazed." Damn...she's good. I can't exactly tell her that I was thinking about her.

"Yeah I'm fine just...a little tired." Sure tired let's go with that.

"I hear you. Emotions can be very tiring." Why did she assume it was because of emotions...oh right it's sort of her job.

"Yeah...it's a lot of work, but Dr. Matthews is great."

"I know...but if you need to talk to someone else I'm open. It can help sometimes to have more than one person, and since you aren't comfortable telling everyone yet."

A week or so later

Buck's P.O.V.

"I couldn't even call you to bail me out of jail." I couldn't get that conversation out of my head. I screwed up didn't I? Now I couldn't even go to someone because all the people who I would normally go to either hate me or can't talk to me because they are with someone who hates me. Why am I always such a screw up? I finally had something going for me: family, friends, a job I loved, and I messed it up. I really messed up; like always.

"if you need to talk to someone else I'm open"

I couldn't...could I? Would that cross a line that might hurt Christopher's therapy? But she was the one who suggested it. Maybe she was just being nice...but what if she wasn't. Kennedy would tell me if we were starting to cross a line...right. I guess I could just call her and see where it goes. Here goes nothing I guess.

"Hello? Buck?" Oh crap.

"Uhh...hi Kennedy how are you?" Seriously Buck? How are you? What are you thinking?

"What's wrong?" Damn it. How does she do that?

"Uhh...is that offer to talk still up?" I could hear her sigh. Did that mean that she was just offering to be nice, or was she busy?

"Where are you?"

"Uh...near the Santa Monica pier...why?" What was she doing?

"Meet me by the aquarium. I was planning on walking on the beach if you want to join me...and talk." I guess I really didn't have a choice now. I asked for her help, and she was willing to help me. It's not like I could say no now.

"Yeah...sure...see you." We both hung up, and I started on the 5 minute walk towards the aquarium. Truth be told I was already making my way to the beach. As soon as I turned the corner my eyes landed on her. Kennedy was wearing a light blue flowy dress and white sandals. Her hair was down in slight waves. Damn it...what did I get myself into...boundaries Buck...boundaries.

"Hey, there you are. So what's up?" She had met my eyes, and smiled before motioning towards the entrance to the beach. Where do I even start?

"How much do you know about what's been going on?" That way at least I won't have to repeat information that she already knows.

"I only know that you haven't been around Christopher a lot in the past week or so, but that's about it."

"Well...uh...I was injured a couple months back, and when I was able to go back to work I ended up needing to go on blood thinners. Bobby ended up benching me."

"What did you end up doing?"

"I filed a lawsuit against the city. I didn't do it for the money; I just wanted my job back…" I was about to continue; tell her about how I told my lawyer all sorts of personal stuff, but she interrupted me.

"Why?" Huh...why what? She saw my confused look

"Why was it so important for you to be back on the job?" Because it's who I am; it's all I am.

"I don't know...I just don't know who I am when I'm not a firefighter; I'm nothing more than that." I expected to see pity on her face, but she just nodded along: even smiled a bit.

"Do you want me to go deep into the rabbit hole on this, or just the here and now?"

"Let's start with now." We'll see about this rabbit hole in a bit.

"My advice to get back into the good graces is to meet with each of them individually, that way it's 1 on 1, and explain to them what you were feeling and what was going through your head when you did it. Obviously, add an 'I'm sorry' in there too, and if you're meeting for food you pay." Sound advice...I guess maybe…

"And what about that rabbit hole?"

"You need to find who you are." What?

"I know who I am." She gave me a look that told me she knew better, and she probably did.

"Alright, who is Evan Buckley?" Ha...easy.

"A firefighter."

"No...that's what you do; not who you are. Who is Evan Buckley when he's not at work? What does he like to do?" Uh...oh…

"I don't really know." Kennedy nodded slightly as if she expected that answer.

"You need to figure that out. Start to try new things, and find something that you could talk to anyone about for hours. That's when you know you're crazy about it." Huh...I wonder…

"What about you?"

"Huh"

"What are you crazy about?" Her smile brightened almost immediately. I guess that's how I'll know if I find it.

"You figure yours out, and then we can tell each other together." Smooth...now she's making sure that I do it.