Chapter 4: Two Voices

He reads the pages of the file, reclining on the bare bed in the north wing of the temple.

Two younger brothers, one 15 and the other one 12 years old. The father is missing, the mother is dead.

He reads the same paragraphs over and over.

She worked part time without the authorization of her school that she used to attend and at the same time manages to be top of the class. All this while playing mother and father of the other two.

Gojou rereads the file he stole from the administrative room. He looks at a photo of a smiling Miwa on the first page and begins to feel a tremendous annoyance.

What an unfortunate life.

The file doesn't specify much about the death of Miwa's mother, only the year of her death. By that time, she was a tender thirteen-year-old. Gojou wonders how she has managed to survive since then, if Miwa had fled social services or if the system had forgotten about her and her siblings.

She seems to be the nicest girl he has ever met. Enthusiastic and cheerful, with a lot of drive. That pleases him. But something doesn't fit, he doesn't know it for a fact but he can taste it. Miwa has to have an explanation.

He'll meet with her shortly to go out to celebrate her birthday so he must return the file. He takes a couple of pictures of it to check again later and takes a shower, then sneaks into the administrative office and walks candidly toward the exit. Miwa will be waiting for him by the entrance in a few minutes.

Everything arose suddenly, unfolded in front of him as if fate made way for him to spend tonight by her side. Or so he thinks as he sees her naive smile and decides to ask what he's been thinking all night.

She mistakenly believed that he had forgotten. In all that time he hadn't mentioned it again, he greeted her from time to time and did not actively seek to pursue her to fulfill that ominous phrase that he left her that day.

See you, Miwa. Then you'll tell me about that nightmare in more detail.

Maybe he was just waiting for the ideal moment, maybe he had even orchestrated it. She had no way of knowing. The reality was that he only took advantage of the opportunities that came his way.

And there, trapped in the most remote part of the Karaoke Bar Roseo, she doesn't know what to answer.

He sees, despite the low light, the way her cheeks suddenly turn pink right after asking that question.

It intrigues him, he waits for her answer with a slight smile on his face and the appetite of a predator. Miwa babbles something under her breath and then regains her composure to pretend to be oblivious.

"Dream? Uhm… I don't know," she manages to say before he continues speaking.

"'Gojou-sensei', that's what you said that afternoon. What did you dream of? It must be something interesting, your cheeks were almost as red as now. Are you ashamed of it? Was it a wet dream?"

Miwa's expression of panic is so evident that Gojou assumes it is an answer in itself. He doesn't need any further confirmation, he knows.

The knot returns, worse than ever. Her stomach hurts in a way she has never experienced in her life and she doesn't know whether to run. She's so ashamed that there are no words to explain that dream to him. But her anxiety is overshadowed by Gojou's light laugh.

"Easy, it's normal. I've had one or two of those too. At least tell me if I was good, from what I managed to hear it seems that we had a good time."

Miwa sinks her head against her chest. Doesn't know what to say. He already knows, he really can see everything and she comes to fear that he even has the ability to read minds.

"I'm... sorry, sensei."

"Huh? You shouldn't apologize for something you have no control over. Unless you are one of those people who realize that they are dreaming and manipulate events at will. Can you do that?"

Miwa denies, she can't even look him in the eye and he takes her chin to face him.

"Relax, I'm flattered."

"Hey?

"For a girl as pretty as you to have wet dreams with me boosts my ego. But tell me, how was I?"

Gojou's insistence for an answer forces her to give up.

"Y-You were good… very good, sensei."

He laughs, he's amused by the plum tone of her face and how she avoids looking him in the eye. He rests a hand on her bare knee and Miwa's heart thumps into her ribs.

"Cool. But real experiences are usually better."

Confused, she watches the hand that stroked her knee under the table, candidly returning to his soda. What she hears seems like a lie, she believes there's an underlying proposal but the idea isn't computed into her brain.

An intrusive tickle disturbs her, her body reacts to his touch almost instantly. He smiles and the whole room lights up. He knows that every girl there wishes they were in her place, but she doesn't know what to do.

"If you want..." he continues in a whisper, "of course."

She is terrified, the tachycardia increases, the music stops playing completely and she feels that there is no one there but Gojou and her.

"Y-yeah…" Miwa whispers under his spell.

"Then we have to order another cab."

Automatically picks up his cell phone. He's relaxed again, extending his arms over the back of his seat. Miwa feels Gojou's thumb brush her shoulder and tries to understand what is happening, what is about to happen.

He wants to do it with her… Now.

On the verge of hyperventilating, she watches him send a message with the easiness of someone who just ordered a pizza. Miwa begins to doubt if she understood the situation correctly, or if she's just having strange ideas.

"Was it the first time?"

"I'm sorry?"

"The first time you dreamed it."

"Ah... Uhm... No..." she answers, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear in a gesture that does little to hide her nervousness.

Gojou's white teeth gleam under a smile. What he just heard excites him.

Miwa intrigues him. He and many others believe that to be a sorcerer you must have a few loose screws. She seems to be one of those many exceptions to the norm, but he's not sure.

At some point Utahime gave him the same impression, but then he knew. He knew she had loose screws, just like him. Miwa's case is special, because out of all that bag of lunatics who call themselves sorcerers, she's the only normal one.

There is something in her that he doesn't understand, that cannot be explained and he longs, without realizing it, to know the madness that she keeps so hidden inside her. Being that good isn't possible, but it would break his heart if she was just a good actress. Miwa has to have something dark hidden; no one is that pure.

He's seen her for a while, ever since she threatened him at that meeting a while ago, but he completely forgot her name.

After hearing her dream about him, seeing the way her legs moved one against the other and her face all red, he couldn't help but get a dirty idea that he couldn't get out of his head. Because when Gojou Satoru has something in mind there is no force on earth to deter him.

He knows that he doesn't have to waste time, that as a sorcerer his time will eventually come and he will die, and that by then he must have a mantel of students ready to fight back. But he can't help but take advantage of his remaining hours in Kyoto to investigate her.

The idea excites him. She wants him too and it's palpable.

Also, it bothers him that Kyoto's College has such boring students. She would be a perfect fit in Tokyo and could even make a lot of friends. No one there would have allowed her to spend her birthday alone, much less one as special as this.

Miwa needs to have fun. She feels repressed.

Academically Miwa is a prodigy, practice is what has her stuck. She's extremely intelligent, but lacks experience, she lacks madness.

He would have done anything to explore her potential if she had fallen into his hands. If only he had seen that blue hair bathed in cursed energy first, he would have her. But no, and perhaps now it suits him that she isn't his student.

It suits him because after thinking so much about that dream he began to imagine it, and he liked what he found in his imagination.

He feels that it makes her nervous, that his exaggerated confidence unsettles her. Then he smiles at her again trying to calm her down. Expects her to flinch at any moment and then wonder if she's a virgin. Maybe she is, and that'll slow the process down a bit, but it's nothing that he can't patiently accomplish.

"Our cab's here," he informs her, leaving enough money on the table to pay for their dinner. "If you wish we can go back to the College," he assures before getting up, but she denies, her face on fire.

She needs more time with him. She longs for it.

As they leave the bar, he opens the door of the cab for her. She feels that everyone is watching her, that everyone knows what is about to happen. And while the paranoia consumes her, Gojou surrounds the car and as she gets up, he puts a hand on Miwa's knee. He gives the driver a direction and the car moves forward.

He doesn't touch her too much, it's just there. It feels possessive, Miwa is about to explode… As soon as he moves his thumb, she shivers.

It's too fast… Miwa thinks starting to anticipate what will happen shortly. But to refuse would be to lose the opportunity of a lifetime.

She would at least like to have a chance to kiss him before they get to this point, tell him she likes him, and hear him say something similar about her. Was she expecting too much? Perhaps it was foolish to expect something so traditional from someone so unorthodox. She should be happy, ecstatic, but something is not quite right and she doesn't know if it's just her. If she is what's wrong in this equation.

Miwa avoids looking at the driver in the rear-view mirror, she doesn't want to see him. The embarrassment doesn't wait, her face is engulfed in flames. Gojou looks at her from time to time, and when he does, he squeezes her knee to make her feel safe. But it fails to instill much calm.

"Where are we going?" Miwa asks him in a whisper.

Gojou leans towards her, close enough to breathe in the scent of her shampoo.

"It's a nice hotel that I've never been to, but it has good reviews on Google Maps. Also, it's not too far from the College if for some reason we decide to go back."

He sits back in his place and glances at the driver. He is looking at him, seems to suspect something. He may think Miwa is a minor, but he has a margin of error of one day. Maybe he heard him mention College and made a strange idea. Either way, he's not too wrong.

This is bad, but Gojou doesn't seem to be disturbed in the least. He likes intense emotions, otherwise he can't feel anything. There are no middle terms. Either it is a superficial, almost insignificant feeling, or a fiery emotion that consumes and burns.

The Prince Kyoto Takaragaike . A four-star hotel complex with exterior architecture that gives the impression of being in front of a medieval castle with modern touches.

Miwa watches the hotel lights from the cab window as Gojou pays the driver and gets out when a valet opens the door for her.

She stands still. Her feet are cemented on the sidewalk outside the hotel and she struggles to normalize her heart rate. It's not until Gojou's hand lands on hers and like a bindweed intertwines his fingers with hers that she awakens.

Miwa's hand feels small, his fingers are long. But she's warm, Miwa always feels warm.

"Getting cold feet?" Gojou asks her, noticing the way she breathes so deliberately while looking at the hotel.

Perhaps it was here where their journey ends, he tells himself. She doesn't take a step in either direction. She doesn't go backwards or forwards.

"No."

He is amazed at the confidence in her voice. He already knew that he had gone too far. As usual. He transgresses every limit and for someone as correct as Miwa Kasumi, this is wonderful. A great discovery.

Gojou likes this kind of woman.

He leads her by the hand into the hotel. Miwa never saw so much luxury in her life. Everything is excessively elegant and she wonders if it's a five-star hotel. She also thinks of the immense expense Gojou Satoru makes for her. This seems excessive to her.

"A suite," Gojou says after greeting the receptionist.

Miwa hides her face in shame, they have no luggage. The woman who talks to Gojou knows it, smiles in a particular way, clenches her teeth and nods with great effort. She knows better than herself what they're doing here.

When she comes out of her reverie, Gojou holds a card in his hand. He has the sweetest smile she has ever seen painted on his face and she follows him as he guides her by the hand through the corridors. Once inside an elevator, Miwa's heart thumps inside her chest louder than before. This is the first time that they are completely alone and the pressure begins to play her dirty. Her hand sweats from nerves, her fingers feel slightly damp, and she's afraid he will notice. She is so restless that she feels a very particular discomfort inside her. The most severe knot she has ever felt. She's slightly scared, but tries hard to be brave, to at least push her feet to keep up.

Gojou's legs are so long that she would have imagined rushing behind him. But Gojou walks slowly, as slowly as she seems to need to get used to the idea that tonight she will be his.

Gojou stops in front of the door. Until now, he hadn't stopped to see the number of the room. At that moment, standing in front of the door, he sees it.

"Did you know that 108 is a special number?"

"Huh? It is?"

"It's the number of Buddha's reincarnation. Mala also have 108 basins and 108 energy channels converge at the heart chakra. Also, there are 108 Ramune soda flavors and 108 Burger King locations in Nagasaki… Interesting."

"Is that all true or you're making it up?"

"Do you think me capable of making something like that up?" He looks at her over his shoulder and realizes that Miwa can no longer see him in the eye.

She believes him capable of making it up, they have told her at some point. 90% of the things that come out of Gojou Satoru's mouth are nonsense. But it seems incredible to her that he has the ability to invent so many things in such a short time.

"No, sensei."

"Well maybe I was exaggerating about the soda flavors," he laughs.

He swipes the card through the reader, opens the door, and his smile widens. Miwa steps inside and knows that every item in that room is worth more than everything she owns. It's too much, but it is beautiful. The bed is surely a king size, located next to a gigantic window that occupies the entire wall. The curtains are open and from that floor they can see the tops of the cherry trees that adorn the entrance of the hotel. There is a wide three-bodies sofa with and two smaller ones next to it. A bar, a huge TV and to her right, next to the door, a bathroom as large as the room she has at school.

Gojou walks over to the couch and sits down, knowing that from the look Miwa has on her face, she's not ready for him to show her the way to bed. He pats the cushion next to him, inviting her to sit next to him and she obeys.

"Nervous?" He asks candidly.

Miwa looks at him, she wants to tell him yes, that it's the first time and that she's terrified, that she would rather go back to school and have another date until they eventually reach this point in a less hasty way, that she wants everything to unfold naturally. But she doesn't, her tongue sticks in her throat and a sudden fear forces her to deny it. She's afraid of being left with nothing if this situation is brought up to him, and going from having been the object of Gojou's wishes to being absolutely nothing. Maybe, if she is determined, she can feel good about this, even if that is all she has of him.

"What a bad liar you are. You know we can come back whenever you want… It's not fun if it's not mutual, you know?"

"It is mutual," Miwa answers. She's honest, her entire body has been throbbing since he laid a single hand on her. She reacts to him with embarrassing ease, even though her mind is not quite in tune.

After listening to her, his body reacts too. The heat that rises from his chest spreads and ventures to take her by the chin once more. She opens her eyes expectantly; she blushes instantly and allows herself to feel Gojou's fingers caressing her skin.

Miwa is soft and warm, she is tender.

Slowly he approaches to her mouth and feels Miwa swallow under his hand and a little noise comes from her throat. He stops and looks at her again.

"Could you… take off your glasses?"

Confidently, he releases her and with the same hand that cradled her cheek, he removes his glasses. He sees the astonishment through her gaze and feels satisfied.

His eyes are more beautiful than she had imagined, he is an angel, he is perfect.

Miwa closes her eyes and stretches her neck. Gojou places a hand on her leg and leans down to kiss her.

Her heart explodes when she feels him, his lips gently caressing hers. Extremely aware of that motionless hand on her bare leg, stroking her skin.

Gojou kisses her, then caresses her face again and lowers his hand to her neck. Feel the rapid beating of her heart under his palm. It turns him on and he tries to control the reactions of his own body, but he doesn't deprive himself too much and he strokes her lower lip with the tip of his tongue. Miwa receives him and after a moment imitates him. Her entire body throbs and burns uncontrollably. She wants him, she wants him too much.

His back is so wide and he's so tall that he almost completely covers her with his presence. Miwa's back starts to fall; her legs don't feel so stiff anymore.

He strokes her waist over the fabric of her innocent flowered dress and presses her digits with some urgency until they are both lying on the couch.

He parts his long white lashes and looks at her as he kisses her, her warm breath hitting his cheeks. He drags one hand to her knee and squeezes the bare skin with the tips of his fingers.

He feels hard and, if it were any other woman, he would have already started fucking her right there, but resists the urge and continues kissing her, touching her, setting certain limits until Miwa's hands reach his jaw. Feels Miwa's fingers crawl into his messy hair, sinking there, pulling him toward her.

He wants to touch her, he needs to touch her, but he doesn't want to rush into it and end up scaring her away.

Miwa feels the tickle of her lips colliding with Gojou's, their tongues touching, her body echoing heat in all directions, with such force that it suffocates her and she lets herself be carried away... she wraps one leg around him and Gojou takes it as an invitation that has been looking forward.

He ventures his hand under her skirt and she says nothing, but moans slightly under his kiss, under her breath, and it turns him on.

He can feel the fabric of Miwa's underwear, a simple cotton panty.

He leaves her mouth and kisses her neck, the urge to nibble her skin overpowers him and he feels Miwa's hands running down his back. He wants to settle between her legs and let her feel his own arousal, but he repels the desire again. However, he squeezes one of her breasts as he kisses her neck and feels Miwa moan and shudder beneath him. He wishes he could take that dress off her and see with his own eyes the treasure underneath, he wants to rip her underwear off and wonders how wet is she. He wants to feel it with his fingers, he wants to lick her to the depths of her body.

Gojou takes off his shirt and stands tall in front of her. Miwa breathes heavily and looks at his abdomen.

He's perfect. Everything about Gojou Satoru is perfect.

But this is too much, it's too fast. If she continues like this, she'll end up giving in and this is not how it should be, how she dreams it to be.

Even though everything seems dreamy, she can't help but hear a voice inside her begging her to stop. Her body says otherwise, she spreads her legs for him and Gojou sinks back into her in a hug, pressing over and over on her hips.

Miwa feels it, feels it almost completely and her body also begs for him. The skin cries out for him, begs him to surrender. She wants her first time to be with him.

"Please…" She begs suddenly and Gojou smiles, sure that now she is going to beg him to fill her. "Can we stop?"

Rejection feels like a bucket of cold water. He looks at her almost astonished, this is new. She seemed as excited as he a moment ago. He could swear she had started to move to his rhythm, and after hearing her stops immediately.

Miwa's hands gently push on his chest and he relents. He sits back down and waits for her to say something else to shake him out of his confusion.

Miwa starts to speak before regretting it. She cannot silence her inner voice and decides to listen to it, even if it costs her Gojou's warmth.

"You see... I... I don't have much experience. Well, almost no experience. And I think everything is going too fast. It's not that I don't want to! I really… really want to. But can we take things slower?"

Gojou has no expression whatsoever. He looks at her through his beautiful blue eyes and she's terrified of the answer she is about to receive, so, to alleviate the blow, she continues speaking.

"I would understand that you don't want to... maybe you think I'm dumb..."

"It's okay, just let me cool down."

He leans back against the couch and lets his head fall back, looks up at the ceiling, and takes a deep breath. Miwa is ashamed, she feels responsible for allowing herself to get that far.

"No problem, it'll be at your own pace," Gojou answers with a smile before putting his glasses back on.