I do not own any piece of this show whatsoever.

Today begins as the start of my second day in hell, it wasn't the best start.

I awoke with a shrill screech as my alarm blared at me in a shrill human like screech for a few seconds before stopping. On the bright side I learned that it's not very hard to hang from the ceiling when you have clawed appendages with great gripping power. On the less bright side falling the 7ft from the ceiling did literally nothing to me in terms of damage other than being startled by the fall, so it was nice but aggravating.

I sighed as I got up and headed over to the clock to make sure it was off and not snoozed, long story short after fiddling with it it was, in fact, snoozed. Thank the great asshole himself that I figured out how to work that thing. After turning on the lamp and being blinded I learned something new about having a giant eye. I have a giant pupil that can open really really widely, and going from what I now know was pitch black darkness immediately into a moderately dim room is an incredibly bad idea. I rolled on the floor for a good few minutes and by the time I was done it was around about 7:40ish.

After calming down I couldn't help but to sigh and take a moment to seat myself on the floor by my wooden stand. You know, I can't really call it a stand can I? When I said it looked like it was supposed to have a tv sit on it I mean that the doors below the part where the tv would go are about a foot big from top to bottom and side to side. There are two of those doors that open outward that held the microwave and minifridge before I moved them. The minifridge is still under there, but I moved the microwave on top of the wooden stand. I'm just going to call it a stand. I stopped caring.

Anyway on the menu today is 'RAMEN brought to you by MICROWAVE!' In all honesty though behind the microwave there was a plate, bowl, a pair of cups, and some wooden utensils. There really was a lot of shit in this thing though. For example there is a pair of 1 liter jugs and a funnel labeled 'drink' and 'dirty'. The 'drink' jug is mostly full of regular water while the 'dirty' jug has bits and pieces of all sorts of things inside, like bits of food and junk, it wasn't very full really. I used the water from the 'drink' jug to make myself some microwave ramen.

After eating I decided to explore what else is inside my stand and to be honest I didn't really expect there to be a good amount of notebooks behind the mini fridge. From the first few pages of one of them I got that it was some guy's rune notes, and they were interesting. To say that they were easy to understand would be stupid, but the guy had good handwriting and was the kind of person who just wrote down everything that was said while being lectured. Gotta admit, that is actually really hard to do without falling behind and keeping pace with the discussion.

There were like 8 filled out books on notes and shit from lectures with a good amount of pages with diagrams and shit on them. One notebook seemed to be dedicated to taking note of all the different runes the guy learned, and it was pretty extensive. Oddly enough my eye started to hurt for a second looking at them all, but they slowly seemed to kinda ingrain themselves in my mind after a few seconds of staring. Weird stuff, but just because I memorized what they all looked like doesn't mean I understood what anything meant. There were a few empty notebooks and a couple black pens there as well. There were 3 more notebooks, but they were empty.

After my exploration it was around 8:20ish that I decided to head out for the day. I began by climbing the ladder to my trapdoor to the ground floor. To pup this in perspective the next occupied box below me is occupied by Johnny followed by a ten foot drop to the floor. I chose this spot because of a combination of it having a neighbor, and instinct. Yeah I never really got into those did I? To be brief my first instinct is to run and hide and after that is a weird sense of serene uncaring that doesn't seem to end. I think that's what kept me from freaking out more and blowing the job opportunity presented to me yesterday. In addition to that I just seem to know that I could easily climb these boxes without the ladder with or without my hands and the drop wouldn't mean shit to me. It really conflicts with the few human instincts I had left that said otherwise, but I stopped caring at this point.

Once I hit the ground floor I stopped my musings and made my way deeper into the warehouse dorm to get to the communal bathrooms. To say it was surprising would be a bit of a lie, but not for the reasons you would expect. In all honesty I did not expect to see that the showers were not connected to the male or female restrooms and were, in fact entirely open and communal without a divide between male or female. It was a very large open space with showers that opened from a locker room. It wasn't incredibly packed, but it was a bit busy and I saw many different beings in many shapes and sizes. It was less sexual and more chill than anything, as if it didn't really matter who saw what, which calmed me down a bit. Oddly enough many lockers and showers had names on them, including mine. Now this wasn't crazy amazing, I would have just thought that they were being considerate, even if it's hell. What confused me is the fact I was next to Roxxie and only a little bit down from Johnny. In addition to this Roxxie apparently had just finished her shower and was putting on her clothes when she spotted me and flagged me down.

"Oi Runt get ya scrawny ass oer here for I jus take ye kicken en screamin." That was an all around odd sentence that confused me for a second before I skittered over. Skittered, That word seemed a bit too appropriate to me and I didn't know why. "Morning Roxxie, what do you need." I said with a bit of a bounce, why am I bouncing? I watched her once straight and wet fur suddenly puff back up after shaking "I been told ta give ya yer soap an shite. Apparently I gotta take ya te orientation else they'll tan me hide." she said sardonically. After this I took what she gave me and showered quickly, nothing interesting other than the fact she gave me strawberry scented shampoo to use and that anatomy is weird in this place. At least I'm mostly humanoid, I was able to confirm that I was not ahem terribly small below the waist, much to the bemusement of the people adjacent to my showering.

After getting out it seemed that she didn't seem to feel like talking more and just gestured for me to follow. Now I could say that I got to know her and see interesting sights about the warehouses and different areas, but that would be a lie. The only thing we did was walk over to a small building off Phillips office warehouse that apparently they seemed to do paperwork and anything official. Like orientation. Oh she also gave me a hair tie to put my hair into a low ponytail, love this bitch.

Now I've been through this kind of thing once at UPS, and it was not all that different other than a few extra rules that we apparently couldn't break on penalty of death or firing. These rules were as follows, under no circumstances were you to open the packages, nor see who their from. Apparently that gives deniability or something. Another rule is that unless you absolutely HAVE to you never speak to anyone on the way to a client. Not even each other.

Then we were fitted for some uniforms, now this would be an incredibly boring process that most would be unconcerned with, at least in my experience. They were just black button up shirts with the company logo, a red 3D crate with some black slacks. We also had a plain black hat that seemed to have things written on the inside. With runes this kind of thing is incredibly quick and takes no time at all. First we walk in front of the rack and a uniform is set in front of us before taking a knife and spilling some blood on it. This would be a bit hair raising, but we were the ones holding the knife and it's not a new process for me.

Huh. I haven't really thought about that in awhile have I? … I don't know how to feel about that and I've decided to repress it for a while, anyway the uniforms themselves conformed themselves to our exact proportions after that and we were told to wash them at the end of every day since we weren't getting another. I haven't really talked about the guy giving the orientation have I? So his name is Dale, yes the Dale Phillip talked about and he's a bit surprising all things considered. He is a cyclops, like me. Yeah it startled me when the guy Philip said helped toss out those gang members was another scrawny cyclops. Now I'm grey with red accents and black hair. Dale, on the other hand, is only black with white hair and appears to be heavily tattooed with golden runes that seem to sparkle. His eye is, oddly enough, red with a black sclera. It's honestly a bit intimidating added into the fact he has about a foot on me being about 5'5 or something. The weirdest part about all of this? He reminded me of someone and I could not for the life of me tell you who. Also apparently he was our runic instructor. Not magic, just runes. He was very insistent that magic was incredibly complicated and he was not going to deal with teaching the, in his words "Ignorant imbeciles about how the hell a fireball is completely different from an explosive rune." So I had that to look forward to next Wednesday, it's currently Friday.

So after the orientation he sat us down and gave us something to chew on. "You ignorant fools are unlikely to survive the first few weeks." He said a bit blandly. "It's not really your fault at all, it's simply the fact that even if death is not the most permanent solution here you will likely die frequently enough to simply quit outright." he said twirling his finger in the air, which I noticed are much more blunted compared to my talons. "Now to begin with we are not just delivery people. We also work as hell's official postal services which is quite the honor for us." He said smirking proudly, I wondered how this came to be before he cut off my thoughts "Because of this you all are usually paired off with a more experienced employee and you both will be sent on more dangerous jobs as a result. Now here is your first choice here at Hells Delivery Service. Would you rather be a delivery man or a postal worker." he said as he placed two pieces of paper on two different tables. Now I probably should have noted this earlier, but there's about 15 of us here of many different body types and shapes. Most went to be postal workers and a good third went to be delivery men and women. "Everyone except you may line up in whichever you feel best suited to working." He said startling everyone as they traced his finger to the direction it was pointed. I had to suppress a gulp as my mouth dried a bit before I croaked out "M-me?" I said with trepidation. "Yes, you. We have something a bit special planned for you Runt." he said ominously. I had a bad feeling about this.