(Or "Booty is in the eye of the beholder")
"WELL THE LAST TIME YOU REMEMBER, ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE WERE ON THE RUN FROM A HORDE OF DEADLY SHARKS...or is it, ON THE SURF? EITHER WAY, THEY WERE SURFING AWAY FROM THE SHARKS, WHO GREW CLOSER AND CLOSER BY THE SECOND..."
"Bullwinkle!" Rocky exclaimed. "I've got an idea!"
"You'd better do it fast!" Bullwinkle replied, noticing that one of the sharks held a knife and fork, and another was seasoning his rear end with a salt shaker.
"QUICKLY THINKING, ROCKY SPUN AROUND WITHIN THE OCEAN, AND GATHERED UP ENOUGH STRENGTH TO PRODUCE A SMALL WHIRLPOOL THAT LIFTED UP THE SHARKS AND TOSSED THEM HIGH INTO THE AIR...CONVENIENTLY LANDING AT A BEACHSIDE SUSHI STAND..."
"Suuushi, get yer sushi, here!" The vendor of said stand hollered, sharpening his sushi knives.
"ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE WERE NOW FREE TO SURF THE BEACHES ONCE MORE!"
"COWABUNGA!" Rocky exclaimed. "Hey, here comes a really huge wave!"
"Let's go surf it, dude!" Bullwinkle replied, making the "shaka" surfer hand sign.
"MEANWHILE BORIS AND NATASHA, EN ROUTE TO KILLING MOOSE AND SQUIRREL, HAPPENED TO COME ACROSS ONE OF HAWAII'S NUDE BEACHES, AND SAW...way more than they thought they needed to see that day, especially from Captain "Wrongway" Peachfuzz..."
"HEY! YOU KIDS BETTER GET BACK HERE WITH MY CLOTHES!!" A completely naked Peachfuzz hollered, chasing some small children who'd taken his clothing, but then he got distracted. "—CHEESEBURGER!!"
"PEACHFUZZ RUSHED OVER TO THE CLOTHED SIDE OF THE BEACH, AND FREAKED OUT A WOMAN EATING A CHEESEBURGER WITH HIS NUDITY."
"Again I say, EW!" Natasha hollered.
"Though he vas een Navy, he sure like beink commando!" Boris replied.
(*ba-dum-tsss!*)
"HEY YOU TWO!" The blonde, female nude beach lifeguard hollered, rescue can covering her body parts. "THIS IS THE NUDE BEACH, we don't allow clothing here."
"Okey." Natasha shrugged, unzipping the back of the only purple dress she'd ever worn in her adult lifetime. "Eef I must, I shall—"
"NATASHA IMMEDIATELY TOOK OFF HER DRESS AND UNDERCLOTHES, HANGING THEM ON A NEARBY TREE BRANCH. WHEN BORIS SAW HER, HE PRETTY MUCH HAD NOTHING TO SAY."
"HUMINAHUMINAHUMINAHUMIMAHUMINAHUMINA—" Boris stuttered at the sight of Natasha's gorgeously bare, curvy, naked, pale, need I say, immaculate body.
"Vat?" Natasha asked, one of her thin, curvy eyebrows raised. "I have sometink on face?"
"Uh, nossink." Boris replied, his white face now red. "OKEY NOW EES MY TURN!" Boris removed his clothing (sans his little fedora hat) placing it next to Natasha's. "I always vanted to go au natural..."
"COMPARED TO NATASHA'S, BORIS' BODY...WAS NOT THAT GREAT."
"EY!" The now completely naked Boris shouted at the narrator, making "muscular" poses and sucking in his gut. "All bodies are beautiful.."
"Uh..." The Narrator dry-heaved. "You sure about that?"
"Don' leesten to him, dollink.." Natasha gave Boris a peck on the cheek. "Ju perfect da vay ju are.."
"AND SO, BORIS AND NATASHA SET OFF ONCE MORE, NAKED AS JAYBIRDS, TO CAPTURE THEIR NEMESIS...nemeses? Nemesisses?! Oh, it's nemeses? I knew it.
MEANWHILE, OUT ON THE WATER ARE ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE, STILL HAVIN' A GREAT TIME!"
"Aw yeah Rocky, check out this big air!" Bullwinkle exclaimed to his friend.
"Let's see it, buddy!" Rocky replied, placing his flight goggles on.
"BORIS AND NATASHA INCHED CLOSER TO THE SHORELINE, EACH HOLDING ENORMOUS MACHINE GUNS, BOTH PREPARED TO GUN THE MOOSE AND SQUIRREL DOWN. BUT ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE WERE ALREADY HIGH ABOVE THE STRATOSPHERE, THANKS TO THE MIGHTY MOOSE MUSCLE OF BULLWINKLE. BULLWINKLE DID A FLIP, THEN PREPARED TO DESCEND DOWN INTO THE OCEAN, WITH ROCKY HOLDING ON TIGHTLY."
"Yeeee-HAAAWWWWW!!" Rocky exclaimed as he and Bullwinkle went back down.
"THE RESULTING SPLASH WAS ENORMOUS, SO LARGE IT CAUSED A TIDAL WAVE TO COVER BORIS AND NATASHA AS WELL AS THEIR MACHINE GUNS! WHEN THE WATER CLEARED UP, BULLWINKLE AND ROCKY LAY ON THE BEACH, SURROUNDED BY THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE, NATIVE HAWAIIAN AND TOURIST ALIKE, WHO HAD SEEN THEIR MONDO WAVE!"
"Uh, like you dudes okay?" A surfer asked.
"WOOOOOOOO!!" Rocky and Bullwinkle hollered once they came to, and gave each other high-fives.
"MEANWHILE, BACK ON THE SHORES, THOUGH SHE WAS STILL ON THE NAKED SIDE OF THE BEACH, NATASHA WAS FEELING RATHER UNDERDRESSED..."
"Ugh, beink nekkid ees give me heebie-jeebies—to coin Americanski phrase..." Natasha stared down at her wet, naked body and then at all the other men who were now gazing at her as well.
"IN ORDER TO STILL OBTAIN THE MOOSE AND SQUIRREL, AND STILL OBTAIN WHATEVER LITTLE SHROUD OF DIGNITY SHE HAD LEFT, NATASHA PLACED TWO LEAVES ON HER CHEST AND ONE OVER HER LOWER BODY."
"Dat's better." She replied, now feeling a little more comfortable.
"Ey!" Boris placed his hands on his hips. "Vhy I no git censor leaf?"
"I THINK YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHY..." The narrator chuckled, his finger poking Boris' stomach, which was large enough to cover his lower body.
"Oh qvit da fat shamink and les GO on vith STORY already!!" Boris stamped his feet, then sighed. "...hoo boy...perhaps ees right...I really haev to cuhtink beck on pierogis..."
"Ju eat kale salad lay-ter!" Natasha took Boris by the hand and the two ran across the beach. "Ve got more eemportant zings to do!"
"AND SO BORIS AND NATASHA REACHED ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE, BUT JUST SO HAPPENED TO END UP ON THE CLOTHED SIDE OF THE BEACH."
"Now Ees time to keel.." Boris unsheathed a machete.
"EEEE!!" A woman exclaimed in fright, pointing directly at Natasha and Boris. "NUDES!!"
(*screaming*)
"Okay.." Boris waltzed out in front of the crowds. "Can ANYVONE be tellink me vat ees problem vit' my gorl be showink her kitty, or I be showink LEETLE BORIS?!" Boris picked up his large stomach, freaking everyone out even more with what was betwixt his legs.
"YES, MILLIONS OF PEOPLE ON THE BEACH IMMEDIATELY TOOK NOTICE OF THE PASTY WHITE POTTSYLVANIANS AND THEIR EXPOSED ANATOMY."
"DON'T LOOK PUMPKIN!" A lady covered her young daughter's eyes. "You gotta keep your innocence while ya still can—wait, cover my eyes, on second thought I wanna keep my innocence, TOO!"
"Oh dear LORD!!" A man exclaimed, cowering at B and N's sheer paleness as well as their even paler body parts.
"Wow..." a teen boy gawked at Natasha, until his mother slapped him upside the head.
"Dude, seriously?!" A surfer exclaimed. "I'm like, calling the police..."
"WITHIN AN INSTANT, THE POLICE SURROUNDED THE NAKED BORIS AND NATASHA."
"I thought dey more progressive een Havaii." Boris gulped.
"Excuse me, madam..." one of the cops spoke. "You two are under arrest for public indece—"
"Vat ju vant?" Natasha asked, turning around.
"LIKE BORIS, THE POLICE OFFICERS WERE CLEARLY TAKEN IN BY NATASHA'S STARK NAKED, TOTALLY ROCKIN' BOD..."
"—HUMINAHUMINAHUMINAHUMINAHUMINAHUMINAHUMINA—" they spoke, clearly unable to say anything else.
"Ey MEESTER!" Boris exclaimed, knocking the police chief to the ground. "Nobody "HUMINA"'s at my gorl eh'sept ME!"
"THE POLICE CHIEF RETALIATED AND TACKLED BORIS TO THE GROUND—"
("OY!" Boris exclaimed.)
"THEN PLACED HANDCUFFS ON THE BOTH OF THEM."
"Perhaps I didn't make myself clear. YOU two are under arrest for public indecency by the order of the State of Hawaii police force." The police officer carried them off. "You have the right to remain silent."
"Ey NOW HOLD ON!! DEES NOT RIGHT!! Ju cannot take us to jail like dees, VE BUHT NEKKID! I VANT LAWYER!! EES WERY UNCONSTEETUTIONAHL!" Boris exclaimed flailing about, noticing that his and Natasha's clothing was left behind as they were forced to be dragged across the beach, NAKED to jail. "—EY! EY, STUPID! STOP DEES AND GIMMIE BECK MY DUNGAREES!!"
"Face eet, dollink. Only clothink ve gonna vear ees orange preeson jumpsuit." Natasha replied. "Ees juhst long arm of law."
"MEANWHILE, WHILE SHARING A SHAVED ICE, ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE JUST SO HAPPENED TO NOTICE THE COMMOTION NEAREST THE OCEAN..."
"Say, what's goin' on over there?" Bullwinkle asked.
"Some kid got stung by a jellyfish, I think." Rocky replied. "It's probably nothin'."
"Yeah.." Bullwinkle went back to licking his shaved ice, then he licked Rocky's.
"HEY!" Rocky replied. "That was mine!"
"What, I'm hungry." Bullwinkle replied.
"Again?" Rocky retorted. "But you just cleared out that other place's entire stock of poi!"
"I am a moose after all." Bullwinkle replied.
"You've gotta come up with a better reason—that line's startin' to get old."
"WELL IT LOOKS LIKE ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE HAVE GOTTEN OUT OF ANOTHER TIGHT SPOT ONCE AGAIN...EXCEPT FOR BORIS AND NATASHA."
"Ve ain't gonna be gone for long!" Boris replied, still being dragged across the beach with Natasha, as his huge stomach was pushed upwards...thankfully his lower body became pixelated. "I already git eh'scape plen! Ees een head even!"
"—BE SURE TO JOIN US FOR "Luau Who-au?" OR "Fright Said Fred"!"
"Vait, ees dat who ve sinkink eet ees?" Natasha pondered, looking up at the latter title of the next episode.