Trying to Stay Positive
G3P0
Naruto grunts before collapsing on top of Sasuke. The pair take some time to catch their breath before Naruto pulls out. This is taking some time. They had been going at it for a couple months now and still no luck. Naruto won't tell Sasuke this but sometimes he misses making love with Sasuke and not making a baby with Sasuke. While Naruto loves Sasuke's determination, he also knows how far he can take that determination sometimes. The blond man sighs as he lays down next to his lover. With the way they were going at it, Naruto hopes it won't be too much longer before they conceive.
A few months later, Sasuke is pregnant again.
Sasuke recognizes he had it easy. He throws up for the third time this morning. He had never gotten this far along in either of his two previous pregnancies and had thus been spared the horrors of morning sickness. It's a good thing he knows the village like the back of his hand for his daily patrol as a police officer because he knows where to find a bathroom the moment he needs it. Which is often these days.
The dark haired man realizes he had it easy in a lot of ways. In the oiroke form, he's shorter, his build smaller. It takes him longer to do his rounds and it leaves him more exhausted at the end of the day. He doesn't know how Sakura kept up with the rest of Team 7 if this is what being a woman is like. Not only that, but his female form made would be evil-doers in the Leaf Village more inclined to fight rather than simply surrender like they would have when he was his usual self. Now Sasuke is a consummate professional and neither his pregnancy nor being in the oiroke state takes away from that. Still, he finds his punches lack the bite they used to and his kicks lack the sting that he's accustomed to. He has new found respect for Sakura, remembering how hard she punches when she's angry. In fact, him being female seems to attract all sorts of bad people...mostly men. Except for a brief rebellious phase as a teenager, Sasuke has always been an ardent traditionalist because that's how he was raised. Being the traditionalist that he is, even as a man, Sasuke dressed rather conservatively. Just because he was in a woman's body now didn't change that. Still, clothes that even Sasuke considers prudish would now garner unwanted attention. Is this what being a woman is like?
A fresh round of retching interrupts any further thoughts on the nature of being a kunoichi in the ninja world.
"You okay?" Kakashi asks as his favourite pupil comes out of the bathroom. That was the twelfth time today.
"I'm fine," Sasuke replies stoically.
After Naruto, Kakashi is probably the closest someone has ever come to understanding Sasuke. They both understood the pain of losing all of your precious people and, in Sasuke's youth, the grey haired man had tried to teach him to overcome it. Sasuke knows that Kakashi still lives with feelings of guilt from the time he failed to stop Sasuke from giving into his demons and heading off to Sound. His sensei may have given up on him once but the raven felt a wave of relief when the Sixth Hokage vouched for him on his proposal to restart the Konoha Police Force. 'Because only the best ninja can bring other ninjas to justice, isn't that right, Sasuke?' Kakashi said to him as he granted approval for the project. Sasuke was the only member of the Police Force but it meant the world to him to finally redeem his family name. He fit the role perfectly, almost like he was born and bred for it.
Kakashi shrugs. "Well, you let me know if you ever need anything," the grey haired man says in his own casual way that somehow manages to convey how much he cares for his favourite pupil. Sasuke knows that when Kakashi says anything he means anything.
Uzumaki Sasuke attends his prenatal visits. He tells Sakura his symptoms and she laughs. "Oh the joys of pregnancy!" his teammate reassures him.
He instinctively stiffens when she goes to examine him. He's still not comfortable with people other than Naruto touching him but he tries for her. After Naruto, Sakura is probably the closest someone has ever come to accepting Sasuke for who he is. Stubborn. Driven. Narrow minded. Flaws and all. He knows that, after Naruto, she was the last person to hold out for his eventual return. She had a crush on him growing up and although she is older and wiser now, she still cares for him deeply.
"Baby seems healthy," she tells him.
"You think so?"
"I do but...may I?". The pink haired kunoichi holds out her hand to touch Sasuke's pregnant belly. Not to examine him in a medical sense but to offer him a reassuring touch that this is in fact reality. She smiles even though at ten weeks there's nothing to feel. "I promise you, Sasuke, that I'll be here every step of the way."
Sasuke realizes he had it easy. In the middle of the night, he wakes up to the familiar sensation of something warm and wet between his legs. He races to the bathroom and bites his lip hard when he realizes what's happening. He doesn't cry because Uch – Uzumakis don't cry. Naruto had a long day at work and is fast asleep. He doesn't want to bother his husband. The raven cleans himself up and crawls back into bed, hoping to wake up and realize it was all just a terrible nightmare.
With his previous miscarriages, Sasuke felt no discomfort. He merely bled for a few days and then it over. This time he wakes up in pain. Sasuke U. has a very high pain tolerance, one developed through years of being both physically and psychologically tortured. This is different. This pain is so much worse. He manages to make his way to the bathroom and sees that he's bleeding quite heavily now. He grabs some over the counter pain medication from behind the mirror. He was so careful during the pregnancy about not taking anything that could harm the baby but now that this pregnancy ended in failure he figured it wouldn't hurt. He takes one. Two. Three. Nothing helps. He's too proud to call out to Naruto. He's too proud to cry out for help. He's shaking now from the pain. It is too much to bear. He collapses onto the ground, bleeding profusely.
Naruto finds him the next morning sprawled on the floor, pale as a ghost. The Seventh Hokage carries his husband in his arms as he races to the hospital. Sakura is on call. What follows next is a blur to Sasuke. The walls of the hospital are streaks of white as they move him somewhere. He is under a bright white light, his naked body exposed for everyone to see. He remembers people laying their hands on him, poking here, prodding there. Like he is merely a body and not a person. After that the world goes dark.
Naruto paces frantically outside of the operating room. Temari comes in an attempt to comfort him. Tenten stops by to reassure him everything is going to be okay. Shino sits with him in silence, a gesture that tells him he is not alone. As touched as he is by their presence, he only wants to hear from one person. After what feels like forever, Sakura exits the large doors of the O.R. "We managed to stop the bleeding," she tells him, her voice trembling with fear. The pair hug each other tightly, both in tears at the thought of almost losing their precious person all over again.
Naruto stays with Sasuke until he awakens from the anesthetic. The dark haired man says nothing. It is only on Sakura's insistence that Sasuke needs time to heal and a tired Naruto would not be able to support him in the way that he needs that the Seventh Hokage goes home for some much needed rest.
When he returns the very next morning, Sasuke is sitting up in bed. The man is no longer in the oiroke state, the jutsu dispelled on its own accord once there was no further use for it. He says nothing but, with Naruto, he doesn't need to. His eyes are deep wells of sorrow. The blond man takes his hand and holds it so tight it blanches the raven's skin. He kisses the pale skin, any reassurances that his Sasuke is still there. Sasuke is immune to it all. They sit there in silence for what feels like a long time.
"I'm - I'm sorry," Sasuke manages to choke out. His first words in days. And then the dam breaks. The once proud man is sobbing hysterically, tears an endless waterfall. The only thing Naruto can do is hold his beloved in his arms as Sasuke repeats 'I'm sorry' over and over again. The dark haired man is clinging to him tightly like a child who has done something wrong and is terrified of being punished.
"It's okay," the blond man says softly. He rubs his husband's back soothingly like a mother would to her hurt child. Naruto says the words he knows Sasuke wants to hear even though it breaks his heart to say it. "We can try again."