They stand there frozen. Their bodies are in a state of rigor. The silence just lingers after she says Hi. The delivery guy cuts between them. He doesn't know what he is witnessing, he just knows the air is thick. He simply says excuse me and walks between them. Liv can hear the questions in her head but she can't get them to come out of her mouth. Fitz finally breaks the silence. Someone has to.
"It's you," he says so soft and faint. Liv doesn't respond. She doesn't know what to say. She doesn't know what she should say. Fitz continues to ramble on, "I thought I was crazy when. I thought I was losing my mind. I thought I couldn't be so lucky to have you back again."
Liv just stares at him. She walks a few steps closer as if she needs to look at him more magnified. The delivery guy interrupts again, "Excuse me Mrs. Emory, this is the last of the items."
Liv finally comes to herself. She steps back into her body, "Oh that's good. Thank you! Do I need to sign anything?" She asks, never truly taking her eyes off of Fitz.
"You can just sign here and we are done," he says. He passes the pen to her, waiting for her to sign. Liv's hands are shaking. If truth be told, every part of her was shaking. Fitz notices, looking at her, The delivery guy asks, "Are you okay?"
She takes the pen, trying to calm herself. "I am fine," she says signing. She looks at Fitz as she says this.
The second delivery guy comes out of the room, they both bid her a good afternoon as they leave. And now the reality is staring at them again. It's just the two of them and they are frozen again.
"Fitz," she finishes.
"I know you have to be wondering what I am doing here," Fitz says.
"What are you doing here?" She says. "How did you…."
"Remember the other day you had some things delivered and there was a bit of a traffic jam and I…"
"It was you," she says softly. He looks at her a little surprised."I heard your voice but I thought the universe was playing an evil joke on me after all these years."
"I saw you and I told myself it was just my imagination and there was no way you were this close," Fitz says. They both know there's no easy way to talk to each other. "And then I saw you on the television the other night at the game and I knew it was you."
"The game," Liv says, almost momentarily oblivious of her present life, "The game," she says shaking her head. "I had no idea I made an appearance."
"You took my breath away," he utters. Liv looks at him incredulously. "You always did."
"I don't know why you came looking for me but you can't be here. I don't want you here," Liv says sadly. The words hurt her more than she can bear to even utter them.
"I had to see if it was you. I had to see you," Fitz says.
"You saw me. You can go now," Liv says turning her back to him. She wraps her arms around herself. She wants so much for him to go to her, take her in his arms and make this moment a sweet one.
"Livvie, please look at me," he pleads moving closer to her space.
"Don't," she says, feeling him all around her.
"Look at me," he says again. She can feel the stern heighten in his voice.
She can't help but let the tear fall. She doesn't want to show him her feelings, her pain, most of all, her….heart. She turns around slowly. "You have to go. You can't be here."
"Do you know how long I've waited for this moment? How many times I dreamed about this moment?"
"Fitz, I don't know what you want me to say. You want me to say I'm happy to see you. You want me to say I've waited for this moment for so long. I waited for everything that happened in the end to be a dream but it wasn't. You moved on, you got married, and you went on with your life," she answers him.
He looks around at the photos that adorn their walls, "Mrs. Russell Emory. Looks like you went on with your life," he says almost angrily. The jealousy is raging in him seeing their wedding photo and honeymoon photo. He glances to see one of particular photo of them on the beach. He walks over to it, holding it in his hand. In the photo, she is running towards the water, and she turns with this childlike smile. She looks so carefree and happy. It was the perfect capture of her essence, her spirit. The mermaid was going toward her ocean. He hated Russell in that moment for being lucky enough to catch that moment. He got to be there with her. "You definitely went on with your life," he says sadly as he
"I had to do something," she says as she steps back, arms folded.
"We need to talk. We need to talk about everything. You wouldn't let me explain it all, even when I came to France. You wouldn't let me."
Liv shakes her head, "What more was there to say Fitz?
"That I love you and I know I hurt you but at the time, I had to do it and I couldn't tell you why," Fitz says with desperation.
Liv catches her chest. She lets the presence of his words register, he loves her. "I didn't want to hear your reasons Fitz because it wasn't going to change anything. Was it?"
"You know me," Fitz starts.
"What does that mean?"
Fitz carefully sits her picture down. "You know I had my reasons for hurting you. I loved you so much. You know me."
"I knew you," Liv says. "At least I thought I knew you," Liv says angrily. She can't hide her hurt. She can't hide her anger, "You promised you'd never hurt me."
"I know," Fitz says, defeated.
She walks over to the massive fireplace, that has the glaring reminder to Fitz of what he's lost. Her wedding picture to another man. Liv turns to him, "I knew a man that made me feel like the most loved woman in the world. He protected me. He pampered me and my world was his world."
"I am that guy," Fitz says.
She corrects him, "You were that guy." She studies his face. She knows he's hiding something from her. Part of her wants to hear it and the other part doesn't. She finally asked a question she's wanted an answer to, all these years. "Why that night?" Liv says.
Fitz is confused at first. He looks at her. "What night?'
"Why did you choose my graduation night to hurt me that way. You knew you wanted a break. You chose one of the happiest days of my life to break my will and break my heart."
"There's so much to explain," Fitz says. He wishes he could make her understand.
"It doesn't matter now Fitz," she points around the room. "We lead different lives now."
"Because I was a coward," Fitz says. Liv looks at him as if she won't disagree with the assessment
Before Liv can say something, her phone rings. She looks down at it, annoyed that he's calling again but grateful at the same time for a reprieve. She looks up at Fitz, "I have to get this."
"Okay," Fitz answers. He's not leaving, not yet. He's determined to make her listen. He knows it's probable him, her husband.
"Russell," she says, as she glances at Fitz. Fitz begins to walk around their sprawling living room. He tries to act like he's not really listening. He can see Liv's touches all over the room. It's her style and her warmth. He can't help but smile. She tries to lower her voice, "Now is not a good time to talk about this. We can do this when you get home,'' she looks over at Fitz. "I'm not blowing you off. I just don't think," she pauses. She and Fitz catch each other's eyes. There's a longing in their glare. "Yes," she sighs. "I am here. I just don't think we should try to sort this out on the phone."
Fitz puts his hand in his pocket, walking to another spot in the room. He notices a design Liv has framed on the wall. He smiles. He notes the writing in Italian, Sei un sorprendente progettista! Ci mancherai. l'America non ti merita indietro. He always knew she was good, better than good. There's his girl taking Europe by storm. The only problem is, she's not his girl anymore. They are strangers.
"Okay," Liv finishes. "I'll be waiting," she says. She's trying to get him off the phone. "Lo so," she answers. They hang up and she turns to Fitz.
Fitz senses something is going on, "Is everything okay?"
Liv tries not let on to the problems in paradise, "Everything is fine."
Fitz accepts the answer for now, looking back to the picture on the wall, "It's beautiful. Was it your first design?"
"It was the one that got me the job there. They wanted me to remember it," she says humbly.
"What does it say?" He asks. He's so proud of her. This is what he knew she could do.
Liv takes a breath, "It says, You are an amazing designer. We will miss you. America doesn't deserve to have you back."
He walks up to her boldly. Liv wants to move but she can't do it. He gently strokes her face with the back of his hand, "I never should have let them keep you."
Liv closes her eyes. She hasn't felt his touch in 9 long years. She thought she couldn't remember it but there it was, the slightest touch but so familiar. "You have to go."
"When can we talk?" Fitz asks.
"We can't talk, Fitz. There's nothing to talk about," she tries to argue again.
"I live in this little community. We both do. We won't be able to avoid each other. I'll see you and you'll see me. The past is here and we need to deal with it. Clearly fate wants us in the here and now."
"I can't. We have to forget the past. We have to live our lives and not hurt those we love the way we hurt each other," Liv says. She closes her eyes, "It's the best thing for all of us."
"You expect me to walk out of this door and act like you aren't standing here in front of me. You expect me to forget you and forget us. I haven't been able to do that. And you haven't either no matter how you try to deny it. You expect me to act like you and I don't share something bigger than us."
"If you ever cared about me, you would walk out of that door and we will be the adults we have to be and let the past be the past," Liv says, putting her face in her hands. She can't look into his eyes. His eyes say the words he isn't saying and she can't hear it.
He gently grabs her wrist, "I'll go," he says. "I'll go."
She looks up at him, letting out a breath of relief. The tears are trickling down her cheeks. He takes in the beautiful curve of her face that has matured a little but even more beautiful than before. Her skin is still flawless. He can still smell her scent that drove him wild, jasmine and honey. And her hair always smelled of coconut. He can still capture the scent lingering through his nose. Her beautiful doe eyes, searching for answers in his. Her lips, round and plump. He wishes he could just kiss away the pain.
Those blue eyes are staring into her soul. Those eyes that she remembered that first pierced her heart when he first said hello. He's aged a tiny little but it's only made him more handsome, more gorgeous. That boyish smile seems to pronounce itself even more. And that little dent in his cheek that she used to massage with her fingertips when he slept, it's still there. Her nose is invaded with the scent of cedarwood and anise. The cologne she bought him, he still wears that kind. God why won't this man let her go. They stare at each other for what seems like eternity, not knowing what's the appropriate thing to do. Fitz finally breaks the silence.
He takes her face in the palm of his hands, "I owe you the truth. I owe it to you and I owe it to us. I'll wait for you. When you are ready, I'll be ready." Her tears are hitting his hands.
She pulls away from him, "Please go," she pleads.
He walks toward the door. He stops staring at the photo of her from the beach. He goes into his pocket, taking out a card. He places it on the table next to her picture. He turns back to her, "You are still the world's most beautiful mermaid," he says. Her breath hitches. She thinks to herself, how can he remember. He turns around, looking at her. The confidence in his voice is strong and assured. "I'll wait as long as I have to." And with those words, he leaves.
Liv slowly walks over to the table. She picks up his card. She knows this could be the start of something very dangerous for both of them. There is a part of her that wants to know the truth but there's another part of her that wants to hold on to her anger because if she does, she can protect her heart. She holds the card to her lips. She's finally reached that part in the story where she can no longer run.
Fitz, Mellie, and Cyrus are having dinner. Fitz was so preoccupied with seeing Olivia, he forgot all about dinner so they ordered from the best Chinese restaurant and are sitting around eating and talking. Teddy has talked and eaten himself into a semi coma. Now he's playing on the floor where the adults can see him. Cyrus can see that something is weighing on Fitz's mind.
"I can't believe you are going to teach law," Mellie says to Cyrus.
"Well, not teach but steer it. To be honest, I think it's perfect for me right now. They have agreed to let me be on campus Monday - Wednesday and catch a train back to New York for the long weekend."
"They wanted you quite bad Cyrus," Mellie says.
"It was basically not an interview. It was a, "What can we do to get you to say yes?" Cyrus bodes.
Mellie smiles, "I think this is going to be wonderful to have you so close. I know Fitz would love it and so would his mom," Mellie says, as she grabs a hold to Fitz's hand. She can tell he's been preoccupied. "Honey, you okay?" she asks.
Fitz finally zones in, "I am fine. I just had a long day that's all. Pretty eventful," he says, taking a sip of his wine.
Cyrus knows his nephew. He can tell he's in a mind battle. "Anything we can help with?" Cyrus asks, knowing this is not work related. He's only seen his nephew with that look in his eyes once and it was Olivia. This definitely has something to do with Olivia.
Fitz scratches his face, "No, I don't think so," Fitz says. He looks over at Teddy, "Teddy, come show Uncle Cyrus what sounds a dinosaur makes."
Cyrus obliges, he can tell Fitz is covering, "Let's see if there's an actor in our future," Cyrus says.
Teddy comes over, Mellie says, "Fitz he shouldn't do that at the dinner table."
"He loves it, watch his face light up," Fitz laughs as he is trying to stop the images that are flashing in his head. The images of Olivia's broken face.
Teddy starts making his Rahhhhh sounds for Cyrus which makes him delight in the child's innocence.
"They gave me a big case today," Mellie says to Fitz, trying to get his attention.
"They did, that's great," Fitz says.
"They are taking on BP Chemicals. We are talking about an Erin Brokovitch sort of case. I know I can do it," Mellie goes on. Once she talks about work, she's totally immersed in it.
Fitz smiles at her. He feels guilty for his thoughts right now. He feels guilty that the last woman he wants to see right now is her. He wants to see his Olivia. He wants her there so he knows it wasn't a dream. "Of course you can do it. I am so proud of you," Fitz says. In that moment, he remembers saying those same words to Olivia, the night he broke her heart.
Cyrus is now playing with Teddy. Mellie reaches over, and kisses his lips. "I was thinking we would celebrate tonight."
Fitz tries to act turned on, "Oh yeah! Like what?"
"You don't sound very excited," Mellie says.
Before he can answer, Cyrus pipes in, "Did you say BP Chemicals? This is not the first time they've been in legal trouble. That could be a really big win for you."
"I know, it's gonna be a lot of long hours and I won't be home a lot. I just hope my wonderfully sexy husband is going to be patient with me," Mellie says as she kisses his cheek.
"You know I support you, no matter what. Teddy and I will be just fine," Fitz says as he subtly pulls his cheek away. He looks over at Teddy, wanting Cyrus to let him piggyback ride. "Honey, why don't you get him settled for bed. I need to talk to Cyrus a little bit about some family matters."
"You know he likes for daddy to give him a bath and read his favorite story," Mellie says.
"I know but I really need to talk to Cy," Fitz says.
"Okay," she says reluctantly. She looks over at Teddy who has opted to play crash the cars with Great Uncle Cyrus. "It's time for your bath and nite nite," she says to Teddy.
"No, I want Daddy," he says defiantly.
"Sweetheart, daddy has to do some things. He will tuck you in," Mellie says calmly.
Teddy goes running to Fitz's leg, "I want you to daddy."
Fitz puts him up on his knee, "I promise I will come tuck you in. Daddy just needs to talk to Uncle Cy okay. Be a good boy for mommy," he asks. Fitz looks at him, he whispers in his ear. Whatever he says makes Teddy giggle.
"Okay daddy," he says.
"That's my boy. Hug Uncle Cyrus goodbye," Fitz says.
Teddy goes and gives Cyrus a hug, "Bye Uncle Cyrus."
"Bye little guy. Next time I come, we will go on a real horseback ride," Cyrus says.
"Yay," Teddy says as Cyrus puts him down and he goes to Mellie.
"See you soon Cy," Mellie says as she takes Teddy up stairs.
Fitz waits until there is no sign of Mellie. He looks at Cyrus, "You want a real drink."
"Sounds like I will need one," Cyrus says as Fitz gets up going in the direction of his office. Cyrus just knows to follow. They go into the office. Fitz goes to the wet bar and pours two glasses of scotch. "You've been in a daze all night. What's going on?"
"I saw her today," Fitz starts, sitting across from Cyrus.
"You saw who today?" Cyrus asks.
"Olivia, I saw her," Fitz answers.
Cyrus drops his head. He looks up at Fitz. He shakes his head, "You think you saw her. We talked about this. It's just your mind having fun with you."
"No, she's here. It was her. She lives 4 blocks over. She is here. I saw her. I talked to her. For a brief moment I held her," Fitz says with a wistful look that Cyrus recognizes. It only comes with the mention of her name.
"Are you shitting me?" Cyrus says.
"No I am not," Fitz says. He gets up. He's nervous and anxious. "I took a chance. I knocked on her door and there she was. She was just as beautiful as ever. My heart stopped beating Cy."
Cyrus gets up. He soaks in the moment. "What did she say?"
"She's married," Fitz says sadly.
Cyrus can see the sadness in Fitz's face, "So are you."
"She's married to a basketball star," Fitz further explains.
Cyrus can't help but laugh at the irony of that, "Olivia Pope is married to a basketball star. Olivia, take no prisoners in a debate. Olivia who can debunk any theory you have. Olivia who wore you down to a lovesick puppy is married to a basketball star."
Fitz can't help but smile at Cyrus' last description of her, "Yes, and a very famous one."
"How did we not know she got married?" Cyrus asks.
"I don't know," Fitz says as he grits his teeth. Fitz looks at Cyrus as if only Cyrus can talk him through all the feelings that are walking around his mind, "She's right there."
"What did you two talk about?" Cyrus asks.
"We couldn't talk much. Her husband was gonna come home soon. I couldn't pack everything into an hour or two. As you can imagine, she didn't want to hear what I had to say. I begged her to let me explain. I have to tell her Cyrus but it could do more harm than good." Fitz says as he drains his glass pouring another.
"Are you sure you want to travel down that road? It could open a bigger can of worms, especially for her," Cyrus says.
Fitz starts on his second glass, "But if I never tell her…"
Cyrus stops him, "Then maybe your chance won't ever come again."
Fitz looks up at him, almost embarrassed by the truth. "I know. I know I shouldn't think like that, but seeing her again. Looking into her eyes, she still loves me."
Cyrus tries to be the voice of reason, "And you still love her but you both chose to move on with your life. You can't just forget that."
Fitz takes a hard breath, "You think I don't know that. You think I don't know that I have a beautiful son and wife upstairs that I made a commitment to. I know that but I made a commitment to her and I broke it when I shouldn't have all because I thought it was the right thing to do."
"You were in a hard place Fitz. You tried to do the right thing."
Fitz sighs, "And I pushed her away."
"What's next?" Cyrus asks.
"I told her we needed to talk. I asked her to give me a chance," Fitz says as he leans back on his desk. "That's how we left it."
Cyrus is in deep thought, "You have to be careful. This could be a pandora's box for you and Liv. Unresolved feelings have a way of making new feelings."
"You think I should just live 4 blocks away and act like she's not there?" Fitz asks.
Cyrus laughs, "I know you better than that. I am asking you to think clearly and don't just jump in heart first. You have to use your head before a lot of people get hurt." Cyrus looks at his watch. "I better go. My flight is at Noon tomorrow. I have a home finish packing up. "
"When will you be back officially," Fitz asks.
"In two months or so. I have to look for a condo. We have to look for something in New York too."
Fitz has the look of a child that needs his dad to tell him what to do next, "I'll be on the lookout for condo's for you."
"Thanks and promise me you won't do something totally stupid. Be smart and be careful," Cyrus says.
"I'll try," Fitz starts. Cyrus gives him a stern look. "Okay, I will," Fitz corrects.
He and Cyrus go toward the door, "This is going to be one big hormonal shit show," Cyrus says as they go out of the door. They are met by Mellie. They both look a little startled.
"Mellie," Fitz says.
"Cyrus are you leaving?" Mellie asks.
"Yes, I have a flight tomorrow but I will be back," He says as he side-eyes Fitz.
Mellie gives him a hug as they walk Cyrus to the door. "Let me know when you are back in Santa Barbara," Fitz says.
"Will do," Cyrus says.
Cyrus leaves and Fitz turns, still very deep in thought. Mellie can tell something is on his mind, "Fitz is everything okay?"
"Everything is good. Everything is gonna be fine," Fitz answers. He starts up the stairs. He turns, "Is he asleep?"
"He's almost in dream land," she says. She is looking at him worriedly, "He's waiting for you."
"I'll go tuck him in," Fitz says. He stops on the stairs, "I almost forgot, Abby wants us to have that triple date on next Saturday."
"What is this for?" Mellie asks.
"She wants me to meet her friend who she said would be a great architect for my restaurant venture," he answers.
"Well, I trust Abby. She's a smart girl. This girl must be good too," Mellie says.
"Yes, I hope so. I'll RSVP with Abby," he says as he turns to continue up the stairs..
"I'll be up in a minute," Mellie says. She watches Fitz go up the stairs. She knows something serious is on Fitz's mind. But, what is it?
Olivia and Russell have gone out to dinner and they are back home. Russell came home and decided he wanted to take her for a nice candlelit dinner. Of course, that might not have been the best idea since he had to sign a few autographs and this was the first encounter with fans this way for Olivia. Russell seemed to be a natural. People noticed him in Italy but it wasn't the same kind of excitement that they have here.
Liv has been quiet all the way home. Honestly she's been preoccupied all night thinking about Fitz. Russell comes behind her, wrapping his arm around her, startling her a bit. "It's just your man," he says.
She lets out a soft laugh, "Sorry."
"Are you okay?" He says.
"I'm fine, why do you ask?" She says as she goes to the kitchen quickly for a glass of water.
"Listen, I know we didn't really settle this whole thing tonight but," Russ starts.
"I am going to work Russell. This is not the 50's. I am not Suzie Homemaker. I am not going to sit home and knit and wait for you. There's more to me than being barefoot and pregnant. I worked hard for my degree. I don't understand why it was okay for me to work back in Italy but here I must stay chained to the house," she says.
"I didn't say stay chained to the house. I said, let me take care of my wife," Russell says.
"Russ," she starts. She can see this is like a brick wall. "Nevermind."
He walks over to her, pulling her in his arms. "Did you see how the men, some of them were with their wives and girlfriends, were staring at your ass? I thought I was going to have to break a few noses."
Liv rolls her eyes shaking her head, "Wizard Star can't control his jealousy and breaks a few noses tonight on the 10 o'clock news. Do you want that kind of headline?" She asks. "Listen I can't stop folks from looking but I can stop them from touching," Liv says.
"I don't like it. You are mine and I want to keep you all to myself," Russ says.
Liv turns around, looking at him, "I am not going to be your prisoner." She's half playful and serious about it.
"I don't want you to be. I just don't want to share you," He says
"You don't have to share me with anyone Russell. I am your wife, no one else's."
He takes her glass of water, drinking the rest, "I don't know if I like this little dinner Abby is setting up. How close will you be working with this guy?"
"You know how my job goes. I work on the plans and decorations. Once the job is over, I am done."
"I want to know about this guy," Russell says pointedly.
"You can ask him all the questions you want at dinner, within reason," Liv answers.
Russell, pulls her by the waist. He wants to go upstairs and settle down for the night, "I will."
Liv stops him, "I am going to your coach's dinner. Do this for me?
He takes a breath, "Okay, for you," he says trying to usher her upstairs.
"Give me a few minutes. I'll be up," she says.
"Don't take too long," he says as he stretches over to kiss her. She flinches a little which she hopes he doesn't notice.
She goes to their laundry room, closing the door. She knows that one place he wouldn't dare look for her. She feels like she's been holding her breath since Fitz walked back into her life. It's been playing in her head all afternoon, the last thing he said to her. Liv, what are you doing? She says to herself.
She lets her mind travel back to Summer 2001. Fitz decided to stay in DC that Summer, much to both their father's chagrin. Fitz whisked her away to Bethany Beach for the weekend. They didn't tell anyone where they were going. The beach is small and just big enough to still be private. The sun is setting and they are lying on a blanket. Her head is on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.
"I knew you said you were on the swim team in high school. But I didn't know you were that good. I could barely keep up with you," he says, kissing the top of her head.
She giggles, "I told you I was a water baby."
Fitz is in deep thought. He's never felt like this before about any girl, any woman. He feels like he's becoming obsessed with her. "Who was your first boyfriend?"
Liv looks up at him confused, "Where did that come from?"
"What?" He says with a grin.
"Just seems like an out of the blue question," she answers.
"I want to know," he says.
"Well, my first boyfriend was this kid named Toby Marshall. We were 15. He was the ultimate nerd, much like myself. We were each other's first kiss and it was truly a fail," she laughs.
"Why?"
"We both had braces. Let's just leave it there. We tried," she laughs. "What about you?" She asks.
Fitz sits up, "You had braces. I want to see pictures."
"Never!" she proclaims. "You will never see me with braces," she continues, slapping his stomach. "What about you? Who was your first girlfriend?"
Fitz takes a breath, "Melody Carmichael," he says. "We kind of grew up together, teenage love and then her parents moved and we broke up. Our parents ran the same circles so they couldn't be happier. She's a great girl. I haven't heard from her in a while."
"If she hadn't moved away, you think you two would still be together," Liv asks.
"Maybe, but it doesn't matter. I choose to think,I was meant to be mathematically challenged so I could meet this alluring mermaid name Olivia."
Liv looks at him. Her eyes always dance when she's looking at him, "She's alluring, really?"
"She's alluring and sexy and adorable. I love her mind the most," he winks.
Liv bites her lip. "You think I'm sexy or are you just trying to get into my swimsuit.
Fitz's hand travels up her thigh, as he caresses her ass as he travels up her back. "You obviously don't know how good you look in this swimsuit." She moves her knee in between his leg as she slightly brushes it back and forth on his dick. "Come on, you don't play fair."
She looks up, keeping her chin rested on his chest, "What's wrong?" She winks.
"You wore this little swimsuit and I do mean little and I've been going out of my mind. I have wanted to do all kinds of things to you," he says as he brings his hand inside of her swimsuit, massaging her breast. The v-drop in the front is perfect for him to get much a feel as he wants.
She lifts her lips to his as they gently kiss each other's lips. The kiss goes from slow and patient to fast and hungry Liv tugs his bottom lip as she sucks it in. He gently pushes her on to her back, as he breaks the kiss, licking and peppering her neck with kisses. She whispers in his ear, "I wore this just for you." She wants him. She knows she wants him. They've been taking it slow and tension is rising for both of them.
He swallows her into a kiss. It's all consuming and hungry. His hand is traveling all over her body as they are dangerously close to being indecently exposed. Fitz lifts his head, breaking their kiss. They both need air, "I can't wait to make love to you."
Liv catches his words quickly. They've always talked about having sex. He's never used the words, make love. "You want to make love to me."
"Yes," Fitz says with a look of want and need she's never seen before. "You know why?" Fitz asks.
"Why?" She says quickly.
"Because I love you Olivia Pope. I've fallen in love with you," He says.
She's rendered speechless by his words. She feels like she's dreaming this. They've been together 6 months and it's been the best 6 months of her life. She feels the same thing, even though she was afraid to tell him first. She didn't want to seem young and naive. Her tears are taking over. She couldn't have asked for a greater moment. He is waiting for her response although he's hoping the tears means she feels it too. "I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything. I just want you to know, this is not a game for me. I'm not looking to bag a freshman. This is real," he finishes.
She looks at him, still without words. She takes a deep breath, "I love you too. I've fallen in love with you too."
Fitz didn't hear anything after she professed her love. He pulled her into a kiss, kissing her for dear life. They engage in their tongue play until a couple walking by reminds them they have audiences.
Liv comes out of the memory almost confused. It's like she can smell the saltwater and the sand from the memory right there. It's like she was back there. She can barely breathe. Russell can be heard in the distance, "Babe, I thought you were coming up."
She quickly opens the door, "On my way." She closes the door to the room. She looks at her phone, wanting to send the text that could change everything. She put him in her phone but she told herself she would never use it and she wants to keep that promise to herself. She goes upstairs to join her husband.
Fitz has fallen asleep. He and Mellie had a round of sex after she gave him a blowjob. He felt guilty that he couldn't enjoy it because his mind was on one woman and one woman only, his Livvie. He dreamed of that night on the beach, when he first told Olivia he loved her. Mellie is holding him tight, drifting in and out of sleep. Fitz says, "Livvie," faintly.
Mellie eyes shoot open. She looks at him. She realizes he is asleep. Who is this Livvie? And why is he dreaming about her?
Abby is on the phone with Olivia. Liv looks outside her window. She won't let Fitz know that she sees when he passes the house. She doesn't want him to know she sees him and she's been watching. She can't figure out where in the Reserve he lives but she's been hoping she hasn't run into him. She's not ready. Right now she has to focus on this dinner and make a good impression. Little does she know, she's not ready for this either.
"I am going shopping to look for an outfit," Liv says.
"Liv you have great clothes. He's going to love you, no matter what," Abby says, looking over some papers.
Liv laughs, "This is not a date Abby, this is almost a job interview."
Fitz comes in, he's about to speak. He realizes Abby is on the phone, "It's not a job interview. Look at it as an ice breaker. I am telling you, he's going to fall in love with your mind."
"Abby, you are not helping this at all. I am going to be worried now if I say something stupid," Liv says nervously.
Abby passes him some papers, "Trust me, if he doesn't like you, I will never let him live it down. I will never forgive him."
Fitz can't help but grin. He mouths to her, "Is she cute?"
Abby stretches her eyes "He just asked if you are cute."
Liv stops in her tracks. "Oh my God Abby, he's there now."
"Yes he is," Abby laughs. She looks at Fitz, "Now she's freaking out."
"I am going. I will see you later before I am further embarrassed," Liv says.
"Wait, is hubby on board?"
"Finally," Liv says as she's grabbing her keys and purse to go out of the door.
"Okay, I can't wait to see you," Abby says. "See you tonight," Abby says hanging up.
Fitz sits in the chair across from Abby's desk, "So, we never talked about her husband. Sounds like he's a little controlling. Is that going to be a problem for me if I hired her?"
"He's not controlling. He's obsessive about her," Abby says.
"So he's controlling," Fitz laughs.
"Both of you are happily married, as far as I know," Abby starts. She notices that Fitz doesn't react to that statement. Abby finishes her thought, "Anyway, I think you guys are going to work really well together." Fitz is quiet, mind elsewhere. "Are you okay?" Abby asks.
"I'm fine. I just have a lot on my mind," Fitz says.
"Well, you want to talk about it?"
Fitz gets up. He walks to the window, looking out, "Has something from your past ever come back to haunt you?"
"A few times," Abby answers. She can tell he's bothered, "This must be something bad."
"I don't know if it is bad or good. I just know I've dreaded this day because I have to deal with it. I have to face it."
"Will it change your life?" Abby asks.
Fitz takes a breath, "That's the problem. I hope it does."
"Will people get hurt?' Abby asks, now more concerned than before. She can see that this is bothering him.
Fitz goes toward the door, "Yes, people will get hurt," he answers leaving and closing the door behind him.
Abby looks at him walking down the hallway. She's always seen Fitz in control. She's never seen him frazzled this way. It's alarming. Little doesn't she know, she's helping to bring that past to the present.
It's the next night. Mellie and Fitz are getting ready for this dinner. Abby set up the dinner at North Italia. She figures she would do something a little familiar. Who doesn't love Italian food? Mellie and Fitz are on the way in the car. Mellie has been unusually quiet the last couple of days.
"Mellie is everything okay?" He asks.
"Everything is fine," she says looking out of the window.
Fitz laughs, "Mellie I have known you a long time. I know when everything is not fine. Something is wrong. Is everything okay at work?'
"Everything is fine," she repeats.
Fitz takes a breath, "Okay! I won't ask again. When you are ready to talk, we will talk."
"Who is Livvie?" Mellie asks.
Fitz takes his eyes off the road a second to look at her, "What?"
"Who is Livvie?" She asks again. He is shocked by the question. How would she know about Olivia?" "Cat got your tongue," she snares.
"I haven't heard that name in a while," Fitz says. "That's all," he says, feeling a pang in his stomach from the little white lie.
"Well you were dreaming about her the other night. I would think after I got on my knees to make my husband feel good, he would be dreaming about me and my mouth. Imagine my shock when he's calling for a woman named Livvie in his sleep."
Fitz doesn't know what to say. He can't ignore it but now is not the time to have this conversation. "Livvie is someone from my past that's all."
"And you are dreaming about her," Mellie says confused.
"Her name came up recently," is all Fitz can offer.
Mellie shakes her head, "Great."
"Can we talk about this some other time? Let's just have a good time tonight," Fitz says as he parks. He looks over at her.
"Should I be worried about her?" Mellie asks.
Before he can answer, Abby knocks on the window, "You are early," she says.
"We will talk about it," Fitz says as they get out and greet her and David.
"Lynnie is on the way. So we can go in. The table is ready," Abby says. "You two look great."
"Thanks Abby!" Mellie says. "Good to see you David."
"Good to see you and congrats on that BP Chemicals case. Abby told me," David says.
"Thanks," Mellie smiles.
Fitz has never been more grateful for David changing the conversation to one of her favorite subjects, work. "I told you I was proud. I just had to tell Abby about it."
Mellie reaches in, giving him a kiss, "Thank you!" Fitz just smiles.
They go inside the restaurant and engage in talk, waiting for Russell and Liv.
Liv and Russell make it to the restaurant. "Thank you," Liv says to Russell.
"For what?" He asks.
"For coming with me tonight and I'm glad you understand why working is very important to me," she says.
"I am trying to be open minded. I am the husband. I am the bread winner. I grew up with a mother that didn't work. She took care of me and my brother and my dad worked his ass off," Russell says.
"Your mother used to sew for extra money," Liv says.
Russell looks confused. "What?"
"Your mother used to sew for people. She did her own form of work. So, why you all were at school, your mother sewed and tailored."
"Who told you that?"
"She did," Liv smiles, as she gets out of the car. Liv texts Abby and tells her that they are coming in.
"When did you talk to my mom?" Russell asks. He is a little baffled.
"We will talk about this later," Liv says as she goes toward the door.
Abby gets the text from Liv, "They are here," Abby says getting up. She stops, turning to them, "Before they get here. You may see people stare and talk. He plays for the Wizards so he's a household name."
Mellie smiles, "Who are the Wizards?"
David laughs, "The Washington Wizards, the NBA. They are a basketball team."
"They just signed this hotshot player," Fitz adds on as he looks toward the door but he can't see anything. For some reason his heart is beating so bad. His ears are ringing.
Mellie looks over, "You okay! You are sweating."
"I am good," he says.
Abby gets to them, "Hey Russ!," she says, giving him a hug. "You ready," she says to Liv.
"As I am ever gonna be," Liv says as they start walking.
Abby whispers in her ear, "Great dress. You look sophisticated and hot."
"Shut up," she laughs.
Abby walks ahead. She gets to the table, excited. "Without further adieu I'd like you to meet my best friend Olivia Pope and her husband Russell Emory," she says as they come into view. "Please meet my boss, Fitzgerald.."
"Grant," Liv utters as Fitz chokes on his wine. Mellie turns to see if he's okay. Liv's legs are weak. She feels like they might give way on her. Time seems to stand still as they stare into each other's eyes. Liv's first instinct is to run for the door. Fitz becomes frozen as he can't believe she's right there. He can't believe the past he has to face is standing right in front of him.
"Olivia," Fitz answers as they shake hands and it's as if no one is in that restaurant but them. He holds her hand for dear life. He doesn't want to let go and she doesn't want him to. With their eyes, they both say what they can't verbalize, We can't do this!
Will they be able to get through this dinner?