Chapter 4 – A Lovely Potion

-:-:-

Jay slotted into things as though he'd always been there, which was likely his intention. Jay enjoyed the more intimate aspects of human relations, though Mal suspected that was his attempt to gain control over the shit Jafar threw at him. It would have been easy for him to entirely ignore that part of himself, but instead he flirted shamelessly, and beyond using that as a distraction tactic for easy scores, he aimed it at Mal, his leader.

Dumb shit even meant it too. Underneath all that boasting and cutthroat behavior, Jay really was a softy. It was why he'd put Carlos under his protection so many years ago.

Mal didn't have a full story on how her crew was operating now that they were situated in Auradon because she respected their privacy, but she had a feeling that whatever casual relations – kissing and shit – that Jay and Carlos had attempted back on the Isle were nonexistent here. It wasn't a surprise given how temperamental Carlos could be in concern of his safety, but it did explain how eager Jay was to join Mal and her boyfriends. After all, she'd acquired Doug and Chad not long into their stay, so she hadn't been turning to Jay for sexual attention either.

So Mal wasn't shocked by Jay's enthusiasm. Once Mal explained that their relationship was a secret (save from Doug's family), and that it entailed like, emotional shit sometimes, Jay was all for throwing himself entirely in. Mal suspected out of all of them, Jay was the most hopeful in regards to finding some kind of redemption. Evie might be the one with all the fairytales and romance novels, but Jay was the one that took them to heart. He'd never admit it, but he wanted happy, squishy relationships, and now he could get it. Mal had already vetted the other two, which meant he could just as easily give Chad a handjob as he could snuggle him into submission, the blond prince blushing furiously all the while.

They started wearing their Tourney gear back to Chad and Doug's room after practice so that they could shower together, and Mal would often get to listen to their moans over the soft spray of water. Of course, Jay was always sure to give Doug the same amount of attention he gave Chad, because he was fair, so the dwarf-kin would often come back to the room from band rehearsal or debate team and be greeted with Jay's eager mouth.

They made the loveliest picture, Doug stretched out on his bed, Jay safely nestled in the v of his legs, mouthing at his bared groin while Doug whimpered incoherent nonsense. Were Chad not already napping off his shower activities, Mal would have toyed with him, just to keep her hands busy.

"I like this," Mal declared later, when they were walking back from dinner, Evie and Carlos already safely escorted to their rooms. "Now I don't have to worry about one of them being neglected."

With Jay around they had even pairs, so no one had to sit and watch on the sidelines, they could just experience.

"I like this too," Jay murmured, less confidently than Mal.

He still wasn't used to being as open with his delights as she was, mostly because he was used to any positives in his life either being used against him or taken away completely. It was strange to think that they could have nice things out here and not actually have to worry about them getting hurt or damaged.

"Do you think Evie will be upset?" he asked a little later. At Mal's questioning look, he elaborated, "She really wants a prince, and you have one."

Strange, to think that Mal hadn't considered that. It wasn't that she didn't want Evie to have anything she desired, because Mal… cared for Evie. When she took over Auradon, it was her very intention to ensure Evie had anything she could possibly want, because Evie was going to be Mal's queen.

It would be symbolic, of course, and Evie could take whatever pets she wanted, but-

But Chad was Mal's. She didn't mind sharing him with Jay and Doug, because she knew they cared for him and would take care of him. Evie would take care of him too, but-

She only wanted him for his title. And Chad was- he wasn't like other princes. He wasn't strong. He was sweet and kind and loved animals.

But more importantly, he was Mal's.

So Mal took in a slow breath, shaking her head. "Nope," she decided. "This school's full of princes, she can find a different one."

"Maybe we should set her up with Ben," Jay mused. "You want her to have the best, right? Well, he's the best."

Ben… wasn't horrible, Mal supposed. Doug and Chad seemed to think highly of him.

"Audrey," Mal pointed out as they climbed into Doug and Chad's room through the window. The other two were still at dinner, keeping the would-be king and his would-be queen company.

Jay made an unhappy sound. "I dunno, man. Don't you have like, a spell that could fix that?"

Mal considered this, then started searching through her spell book, settling on Chad's bed near – but not cuddling – the small stuffed mouse Mal had restored for him the week before. Jay had accidentally found the thing at the bottom of Chad's dresser when looking for a pair of extra socks. Originally, it had been half-burnt, wilted and ashy, like it had gotten thrown in a fire.

Chad had immediately been on edge, fluttery and disconnected in the way he got when he was very nervous.

"My um- mom made it for me," he explained. "When I was little. But after she died, my dad- well, he accidentally threw it into a fire and that was all I was able to get out…"

It did not take a genius to determine that it wasn't much of an accident, but Chad seemed so very attached to this thing his dead mom had created.

Mal invented a spell to restore it to its original form then and there, and Chad might have started crying, hugging the dumb toy to his chest like it was the greatest treasure in the world, and maybe they had cuddled him while he babbled incoherent strings of thanks, but that was a story none of them were going to share because it was theirs and theirs alone.

Since Mal had fixed it, the mouse had moved to live on Chad's pillows, the prince savoring it any chance he got with little care for how it made him look. It was but one of the reasons Mal couldn't pass Chad over to Evie. She wouldn't appreciate his stuffed mouse cuddles, Mal was almost sure of it.

"Hm," Mal said a few minutes later, pulling Jay from his half-hearted attempts at homework. "I think I might have something that will do the trick."

Immediately, Jay's pencil was abandoned so he could crowd close to Mal. "Don't leave me in suspense," he pressed. "What's the plan?"

-:-:-

"A love potion?" Carlos echoed, seeming dubious. "You want to dose Prince Benjamin with a love potion?"

"If he's in love with Evie, he will date her," Mal surmised. "And then Evie will have the best prince of all, and be the best princess of all."

At least until they took over and established a new world order, but even then, Evie might want to keep Ben as a status symbol.

Carlos considered this with furrowed brows. "Okay," he allowed. "Are you going to tell Evie about this?"

Mal shared a look with Jay. For all their planning, they hadn't really covered that.

Jay shifted his weight in an anxious tell. "I mean… she'd probably be happier if she thought it was real, right?"

"Her reaction would be more genuine," Mal mused.

Carlos frowned. "Evie's the best liar I know. We wouldn't need to worry about her having a genuine reaction."

He made a fair point, which brought them entirely back to withholding the information purely for the potential positive emotional impact it could have on her, which meant they cared about emotions.

"But…" Carlos continued, seeming unaware of this dilemma. "The more hands-off she is, the better protected she would likely be. It's not like anyone would find out about it, but if they did-"

"She wouldn't be implicated," Mal surmised. "Then we'll do it without her."

"Wicked." Jay grinned, seeming genuinely excited by this prospect. "When should we get started?"

"Immediately," Mal decided. "If we follow the recipe right, we can dose Ben before the Tourney game on Friday."

"And who said love was dead?" Carlos deadpanned.

Probably someone from the Isle. It sounded like the bitter sort of vitriol they would spill.

-:-:-

The thing about potion components was that a lot of them weren't terribly difficult to come by. They were standard ingredients made special by the magic of the enchanter, so for the most part, making love potion cookies wasn't all that complicated.

And then they got to the point where they needed a tear of genuine sorrow.

"Fuck," Mal hissed, glaring at the ingredients list. Mal had conditioned herself to be mostly apathetic as a survival instinct. Most of them had. It was the only way to get through the daily horrors of the Isle without losing their sanity. It made things like genuinely experiencing grief difficult.

Tears couldn't get you much of anything. At most, they could be used against you, render you vulnerable at an inopportune time, or damage your reputation.

Mal purposefully did not think about the few times Chad had cried, from happiness or nightmares or in the shower when he thought they couldn't hear him, because his dad really was a piece of shit sometimes. People like Chad needed to cry, they deserved it.

Mal was not one of these people.

The three of them stood there, ruminating in silence, before Carlos eventually sighed.

"I'll be right back," he said, pulling an empty vial from his backpack. He disappeared into one of the many storage rooms and Mal and Jay made a determined effort not to pay attention to any sounds that came from that direction.

This was for the greater good. For Evie. Evie deserved the best. Mal couldn't be that for her, even if she wanted to. Jay was no better, but had given up before he'd even started. It was a wonder he'd managed the courage to talk Carlos into kissing.

It was just the hand they were dealt.

When Carlos returned five minutes later, his eyes were red and shiny and the vial slightly filled, and none of them said anything when Mal emptied the clear contents into the cookie batter.

Sometimes, Mal wished Carlos was her boyfriend so she could drag him into a hug and make him accept her affection. He was so smart and clever. He deserved so much more than Cruella De Ville.

But there was only so much she could do when he was hiding away from them, so she'd have to settle for hoping Evie could manage the emotional fallout while Mal took care of their unit as a whole.

"Viola," Mal murmured an hour later, one full tray of love potion cookies successfully completed. "Time to knock Ben's socks off."

"Man, I hope this works," Carlos murmured, tugging at his sleeve.

"It will," Jay chirped, but that was a feigned confidence more than anything else. If Jay was worried, they wouldn't actually know it. It wasn't in his nature to give such things away.

Then again, it wasn't really in any of their natures.

-:-:-

Dosing Ben should have been harder.

Just another point against dumbass Auradon.

Mal was able to goad the crown prince into eating a cookie of suspicious origin, turn his gaze to where Evie was lingering just across the way (completing a separate task on Mal's order) just as he was biting into the damn thing and wham, the prince was ready to sing love confessions in front of the entire school. Way to go Ben.

"I'm so confused," Chad said later when he was standing on the sidelines watching the show unfold with Mal. "I thought Ben was dating Audrey."

"Guess they broke up," Mal hummed, grinning at her crewmate's expression of wonder and delight as Ben went on about how his love for Evie was ridiculous.

"…I guess," Chad said, seeming torn between following Mal's easy confidence and watching Audrey's expression get more and more furious.

"Evelyn Hatzfeld," Ben began after he body surfed his way into the stands. "Will you go to coronation with me?"

Evie clapped her hands together, eyes sparkling in wonderment at her sudden change in fortune. "Yes, Ben. I'd be honored."

"Hear that?!" Ben cheered just as the crowd broke into an enthusiastic yell of support.

They were so entuned to their celebration that Mal almost missed Audrey cutting her way through the crowds until she was stealing the microphone from Ben. "And I will be going to coronation with Chad!" she declared.

She went to- Mal wasn't sure, kiss him maybe, but Mal's dragon instincts flared to life in a second. She was prepared to shove herself between the princess and her claim when Chad took a step back, plucking the microphone from Audrey's hands. "Um… sorry, I can't do that. I um… I-"

He floundered, trying to stay loyal and keep things a secret, and Mal knew enough was enough. She leaned over, smiling sweetly as she spoke into the microphone. "He's dating me."

Chad was confused for all of a moment before he processed what Mal had said and lit up like a bonfire, his smile brilliant and wide. "Yes!" he cheered. "Mal is my girlfriend, so I'm going to take her to coronation." He spent a moment grinning at her manically before he remembered Audrey was still there. "Um- Sorry, Audrey. You're really great-"

"Save it," she snapped, and then she was stomping away, the crowd moving hastily to get out of her warpath.

Chad awkwardly handed the microphone back to Ben, turning his attention to Mal with a flush. "Um… thank you. I know you didn't want-"

Mal silenced him with a kiss that had the rest of the crowd cheering, one that Chad in all his sappiness eagerly melted into.

"Come on," Mal said when she pulled back, stroking his cheek. "Let's get the others and celebrate."

"Yes," Chad said, somewhat dazed. "I mean, cool, and yes."

"Cool and yes," Mal hummed in agreement, savoring an afternoon well done.

She really took the best care of her things.

-:-:-

Out of respect for Chad and Doug's paranoia, the majority of Mal's clothes stayed in her original assigned dorm room. The two Auradon boys were worried about random security sweeps (apparently Auradon did exhibit some amount of sense after all). Finding a girl's sketchpad in their room was one thing, finding a girl's underwear was a recipe for 'media disaster', Chad had explained with an embarrassed flush. Apparently, while teenagers frequently canoodled in Auradon, they weren't supposed to be open about it.

Jay preened, because apparently they didn't give a shit if two dudes made out with each other so he could hide stuff in Doug and Chad's dressers, though Doug had assured Mal that this was because it was plausible to pass Jay's clothes off as their own. As though Doug would willingly go sleeveless.

Jay had been begging for the dwarf-kin to try, it was still an ongoing battle. Chad and Mal liked to watch from the sidelines while Doug got all blush-y.

Mal was digging through her drawers to refill the duffle she dragged back and forth from the boys' room when Evie crossed to her, the princess likely finished with her task of basking in the united adulation of the Auradon kids. She didn't say anything for a moment, though that was not uncommon. Evie, much like Carlos, was a creature of tactics, of putting thought into her words. It was Jay who rushed in without thinking, but Evie was careful, because Evie wanted to do things right.

Mal also suspected she didn't want to commit an error so egregious that she ended up banished again, like Mal would ever do that to her. She knew what isolation did to Evie. Banishment wasn't a trial Mal would throw at her even in jest.

Just as Mal was zipping her bag shut, Evie cleared her throat. "You're dating Chad?"

"I claimed him," Mal explained, because dating seemed so juvenile. "But 'dating' is the Auradon term that will keep Audrey off his back." And away from what was Mal's.

Evie didn't say anything for a moment, her brows furrowed. "…were you getting him for me?"

From anyone else, it would be a bold question. For a crewmate to demand such a thing from their leader bordered on insubordination, but Evie wasn't just anyone's, she was Mal's. That meant she was one of the best, and as such, she should be rewarded appropriately.

The unfortunate fact was, Mal was pretty sure she had never intended to share Chad. She was a greedy creature at heart. In truth, she didn't even like sharing Evie with Ben, it was just the knowledge that this was the greatest present she could give Evie that allowed her to make it through the day with limited irritation.

Well, that and her bounty of distracting pets.

A lie, then, was in order. Something small. It didn't matter anyway. "I thought about it," Mal admitted. "But I didn't think he was good enough."

She held onto her indifference, noting somewhat curiously that the words hurt to say. Objectively, Chad wasn't the best prince, but Mal cared for him a great deal, and the prospect of him not being good-

It was a lie. She needed to stay focused.

"It doesn't matter now anyway," Mal hummed, shrugging her bag onto her shoulder. "You have Ben." She offered Evie one of her rare smiles, something genuine, just for her. "I knew something brilliant was going to come your way."

Because Evie herself was brilliant. At some point, the universe had to recognize that.

Well, the universe and some enchanted cookies.

That seemed to earn Mal a sincere grin, the tension melting from Evie's shoulders. "Thanks, Mal," she said, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "Are you going to be with him?" she asked, gaze darting down to Mal's bag.

The half-Fae shrugged. "He's needy, but entertaining," she allowed – both true, though not nearly as unappreciated as Mal made them seem. "Will you check on Carlos?"

Evie gave her a weird look, but nodded. "Of course. Is um… is Jay doing something?"

Knowing the horny bastard, he was likely doing several somethings right now.

"Probably." Mal made a face. "You know how this shit goes. You're better with delicate stuff than he is."

At least, as far as Evie knew. Mal was beginning to get the opinion that Jay was incredibly good at interpersonal interactions but had hid this skill as a matter of necessity. It was expected for Evie to be good with emotions, it was expected for Jay to be a brutal fighter and wicked thief. His reputation did not allow him much room for flexibility.

Except for out here. Out here they could be whatever they wanted. Evie could be smart, Jay could be kind, and Mal-

She could have things, if she wanted them. Have things and protect them and claim them without fear for their ruin.

It was something to think about.

-:-:-

"I sort of feel bad for Audrey," Chad was saying later when they'd gathered in his and Doug's room for a post-game celebration. They were clean from the day's trials, and by Jay's request had traded pajamas. Mal and Jay, of course, knew the significance of someone else wearing their colors, and while Chad seemed to miss it entirely, he was more than happy to slide into Jay's large pajamas, hugging the soft material to himself.

Doug, being slighter, dressed in Mal's purple colors, and it was impossible to ignore the lovely picture the two presented when they cuddled next to each other, dressed like that.

"Bad?" Jay echoed around a mouthful of pizza, looking sort of smart in Sardinian blue and gold. "Why? She's a tool."

Chad tensed in a way that indicated he did not entirely agree with this, but mostly because he'd been privy to a worldview the rest of them had missed entirely. "I mean-" he began with a shrug. "Yeah, but like, I think that's because she's afraid of her grandmothers."

Mal paused, because by this point it was a well-known fact that Chad was afraid of his grandfather, and as such, was likely sensitive to other kids being afraid of their older relatives.

"Like," Chad continued. "When they visit for Family Days and stuff. She always tried to act cool, but they like, hold onto her too tight, so maybe…" He stared at the floor, then shrugged again. "I don't know, maybe they hold on too tight to her all the time, and that's why she's a tool." He dug his toe into the carpet. "Dating Ben seemed to be super important to her, so losing him like this unexpectedly, just like- it's probably not great."

Mal was not surprised that Chad, of all people, managed to have a bleeding heart for Audrey, because Chad was maybe the exemplification of all that was kind and good in the world. And normally Mal would think he was reading too much into things, but-

She was also best friends with Evie. She knew the signs of a princess that was living under the weight of too many expectations, and in light of that, a lot of Audrey's behavior made more sense.

"Fuck," she sighed, crossing over to where she had abandoned her shoes earlier and shoving them onto her feet.

"What's happening?" Jay asked, though he was putting his shoes on as well, always one to follow orders.

"We're gonna check on Audrey," Mal said, careful to keep the aggravation out of her tone because Chad was sensitive to shit like that.

"We are?" Chad was already following Jay's example because he took comfort in mimicking behavior when he was lost. "Really?"

"Yes, really," Mal said, watching as Doug stepped into his slippers because literally everything he did had to be adorable. It was like a law or something. "Come on. The faster we do this, the faster we get back to dinner."

"Neat," Chad chirped, and he didn't even stop to offer his arm to Mal, even though it was obvious he wanted to.

Finally, he was understanding compromises.

Mal led the way because it would be the most believable for her, a girl, to know where another girl's room was. This way she could pretend it was by random observation and not information she had painfully collected to keep tabs on any potential threats. Like Ben, Audrey had a room all to herself, likely because she had three kingdoms all to herself. That kind of shit got you perks.

Mal had been hoping her door would be locked when they got there, had pictured them knocking and Audrey ignoring them or telling them to go away. And then, by her wishes, they would do just that, and Mal could have sex with her boys. The cherry on top of the parfait that was her evening.

The door was, at the very least, closed when she got there, and she did knock, expecting nothing to come of it.

And then the door swung open as though it had failed to latch, and Mal was made privy to the warzone that was Audrey's room.

The place looked trashed, furniture toppled and books strewn about the floor, vases shattered into a million pieces. Mal could hear Audrey panting, the princess occupying the far corner of her room where she seemed to be ripping up sketchbooks or something, tears streaming down her face as she released incoherent sobs.

Well.

Maybe Audrey was a bit more invested in Ben than any of them realized.

"Audrey!" Chad was across the room in a minute, headless of the broken glass littering the ground. "Hey – stop! You don't need to tear up your sketchbooks-"

"I did everything right!" she snapped, fighting Chad when the doofus wrapped his arms around her for all of a second before she collapsed into him. "I did- he didn't- he seemed ha-happy with me this morning and when he says things I listen but he didn't- he didn't say that he loved-" She cut off with a sob. "He didn't- he didn't tell me. Why wouldn't he tell me?"

"Because he's stupid," Chad declared, easing Audrey down to the floor while she cried brokenly against his chest.

"Why are you here?" Audrey snapped when she caught sight of Mal and the others lingering in the doorway. "Did you come to laugh?"

"Fucking, no," Mal huffed, shifting uneasily. "We came to check on you, asshole."

That just made Audrey sob harder. "You know what's stupid?" she gasped. "You're the only ones th-that did."

Mal shared a look with Jay, the Agraben seeming to get the exact same vibes as Mal.

This wasn't a spoiled princess. This was someone consistently hanging on the edge of a nervous breakdown and conforming to ideals of perfection out of necessity.

Shit.

"Maybe everyone else thought you and Ben had broken up earlier," Chad said. "That you parted on good terms and that's why they didn't check."

"You're fucking stupid, Chad," Audrey murmured wetly.

"Hey, shithead," Mal interrupted. "You don't get to be mean just because Ben was a dick."

Not to Chad, at least.

Doug made a pained sound, and while Mal panicked for half a second, thinking he had cut himself on some of the loose glass and shit, she realized he was doing that thing where he quietly besieged her for patience. Usually this was for unnecessary Auradon shit that they had to do for some reason.

He wanted her to be nicer. Or just, not as mean.

Doug liked to ask for manageable things.

Mal sighed, then rubbed at her eyes. "Okay," she said, viewing the carnage. "Here's what we're going to do. I'm gonna fix this and then we're going to have a sleepover in Doug and Chad's room and cuddle and shit."

"I- I don't need your pity," Audrey gasped.

"Well, fucking tough," Mal snapped. "You're getting it. You think you're the only person here who's been dealt a shitty hand? We've all got fucking baggage." She forced herself to take a deep breath, knowing that she was likely disappointing Doug, and invented a new spell. "Tattered brim and broken sole, take what's broken, make it whole."

There was a flash of magic, and then the room seemed to revert to whatever it had been before. Like Chad's room, it was freakishly clean. Mal had a feeling that it was clean for the same reasons too.

These. Fucking. Royals.

It was like no one knew how to take care of kids anywhere. Except for like, Doug's dad.

"Come on," Mal said, motioning for Doug to help Chad with Audrey. It would probably be best for her to be surrounded by Auradon folk now.

For all of her snippiness, Audrey didn't fight them, following Mal's orders with Chad's handkerchief pressed to her mouth, stifling her small sounds of sorrow. They made it back to the boy's room without being noticed, and Mal wasted no time herding Audrey towards the bathroom and running a bath for her. Evie always liked those when she was stressed out. Mal knew that inclination didn't necessary apply to Audrey as well, but it wouldn't hurt to try.

"Why?" Audrey sniffed when Mal got the tub ready. "Why wouldn't he- I couldn't have been that bad."

"Because he's a boy," Mal said. "And contrary to what anyone else might think, he is just as capable of being stupid as anyone else."

"I was pe-perfect for him," Audrey crooned, rubbing at her eyes.

"Well," Mal said, swallowing her unease. "Now you can be perfect for yourself."

-:-:-

Audrey bathed in a daze, seeming not to notice that Mal was keeping her company. Silent tears rolled down her cheeks as she settled into the warm water, but eventually those died down too. Doug snuck Mal a bottle of water and urged her to get Audrey to drink it, likely because the princess would be dehydrated, and Mal wasted a moment kissing the boy in her colors senseless before going to do just that.

Halfway through the bottle, Audrey started crying again. "I'm sorry," she gasped, shoulders shaking as she looked at Mal with wet eyes. "I'm sorry I was a dick to you. My grandmas didn't want me to associate with any of the Isle kids, but obviously you're just-" She shrugged her shoulders helplessly. "You're just kids."

"Yeah, we are," Mal settled on eventually, running a careful hand through Audrey's hair. "Thanks for noticing that."

"Thanks for checking on me," Audrey sniffed, the princess' breath seeming to catch when Mal leaned forward to wipe her tears away, the same as she had every other time she'd done that.

In the end, Mal dressed her in a spare set of pajamas Chad had gotten for Mal that featured a bounty of cartoon dragons that he had been unspeakably proud of before coaxing the princess back into the main room.

She herded Audrey into Chad's lap, the prince nudging a plate of pizza into her hands.

Audrey stared at it blankly. "I'm not supposed to eat this."

"Special occasion," Mal declared, flopping down on Chad's free side so she could comfort Audrey and shit. "Your boyfriend was stupid, you get pizza."

"Ex-boyfriend," Audrey sniffed, but then she took a bite of the pizza, her eyes falling shut with a moan when the flavor hit her tongue.

In her peripherals, Mal could catch Doug flushing, and Jay wasted little time dragging the dwarf-kin into his lap for cuddle time.

"So what?" Audrey said when the food was gone, her gaze suspiciously falling over Jay and Doug before settling on Mal. "Are you guys friends?"

"We're Mal's!" Chad chirped, nuzzling Audrey's shoulder, an action the princess decided to allow with open curiosity. "She claimed us, so we're crew."

Audrey considered this, her fingers tightening around the edge of her plate. "…can I be crew?"

This startled Jay more than Mal. "You want to join us?"

"Sure," Chad cheered. "Why wouldn't she? We're awesome. And we cuddle and take care of each other and stuff. What's not to like about that?"

Audrey didn't answer, but Mal had a feeling that Chad had summed things up perfectly for the princess.

Mal considered the request, but already knew from Chad's puppy eyes and Doug's imploring stare what the answer was.

"Okay," Mal settled on. "You can be crew. But there are rules."

"You have to tell us if someone's fucking with you," Jay said. "So we can fuck with them back."

"And you have to check in once a day at least," Chad added. "And eat with us. Spend time with us."

"And it's okay if you're still upset," Mal added. "Just- one of us has to be there for you when it's bad, okay? That's a rule."

"Okay," Audrey sniffed, rubbing at her eyes. "I'm okay with those rules."

"Good," Mal declared. "Now let's cuddle on the bed, it's been a long day."

"Preach," Jay murmured, bodily picking Doug up so he could carry their slight boyfriend over to the bed, despite his insistence that he could walk.

Yeah, with a blush like that, Doug wasn't walking anywhere.

Mal was pleased to see Jay understood this.

And then Chad mimicked the behavior with Audrey, looking all determined and earnest, and Mal made a point to memorize Audrey's shocked expression and Chad's kind grin, knowing that she would draw both later, or maybe paint them. They were very cute.

Then again, Mal only claimed the best.

-:-:-

"Audrey?" Evie asked Mal later, after the princess had sat with them for breakfast while Evie spent the morning at Ben's table, hanging off the would-be king's arm and laughing with all his friends. "You're hanging out with Audrey now?"

Mal let out a noise of frustration, wishing Evie had just been there so she wouldn't have to explain this bullshit. "She's like you," she tried to clarify. "Or – her grandmothers are like your mom."

Evie just stared at Mal like she was something she couldn't comprehend. Slowly, her shoulders tensed, her lips straightening into a hard line. "No one is like my mother," Evie spat, and then she left with a flip of her hair, Mal staring at the silky tresses for far too long before she forced herself to turn away.

She had never been good at communication; it was what made her so grateful for Doug. Maybe she should ask him for advice, without like, being obvious about it. It wouldn't be good to show weakness. Or maybe she should talk to Carlos, who seemed to be closing more in on himself. Both prospects had merit, but Mal elected to go to Carlos. He'd belonged to her first, and he'd been getting quiet lately.

It wouldn't do.

-:-:-

Endnotes:

Bum, bum, BUM. Yeah, another fic where Audrey gets a mostly fair treatment. She'll really shine in the later chapters, but for now, hooray to Doug for coaxing Mal to act on her nicer instincts :)

Thanks to everyone for the feedback! I know this is a bit of an unconventional setup, so I appreciate you guys giving it a chance :D

Story notes:

I don't know if I've said this before, but it's my firm belief that Mal and the Core Four think doors are entirely overrated. It's why they use windows so much to get places.

Evie's surname, Hatzfeld, is from the real-life inspiration for Queen Grimhilde.

Sardinia is my name for Chad's kingdom, which is canon is called Cinderellasburg.

Until next time