Jest Chapter 4, a pride and prejudice fanfic

~~~J~~~

Mr Darcy returned to Rosings and managed to gain his room, with Lady Catherine being none the wiser about his absence.

He poured himself a large brandy, and retrieved the copy of the speech he had worked on over the last few days.

He read it as he sipped his drink, trying to see if he had made a mistake in the delivery. But no, he had repeated it almost verbatim. He had certainly been accurate in all the salient points.

Darcy was too engrossed in his perusal of the note, to notice his cousin's entrance.

Colonel Fitzwilliam cleared his throat. When that had no effect, he commented cheerfully, 'that must be some epistle, to have you so oblivious to all else.'

Darcy was startled at the interruption. 'What are you doing here?'

'I came to see if there is anything amiss with you. Aunt Cat was most put out with you for not attending tea.'

'I was busy,' Darcy tried to put off Richard curtly.

'I can see that.' Richard looked at his cousin speculatively. 'I wonder what was so important as to risk our aunt's ire.' Without warning he snatched the paper from Darcy's loose grip, and started to read.

Darcy tried to retrieve his note from Richard, but his cousin held it out of his reach. Knowing from experience that it was pointless to try to stop the Colonel from doing what he had set out to do, Darcy just sighed and sat back in his chair. Perhaps it was just as well. Maybe Richard could assist him in making sense of what had happened.

Colonel Fitzwilliam finished reading and laughed uproariously. 'Surely, you jest. No one would propose in such an insulting manner.'

Mr Darcy's initial reaction to his cousin's laughter was to be offended. Then he remembered that Elizabeth had reacted in an identical fashion.

'But all I did was to explain how much I love her, because, despite all the obstacles which I can see, I still wish to marry her.'

'There might be obstacles, but did you have to use words such as degradation and inferiority? How could you possibly expect a lady to react favourably to your suit when you insult her.' Richard swiped at the tears of laughter which he had been unable to repress. 'Mind you, you could insult Miss Bingley all day, and she would still cheerfully accept your proposal, as long as she was assured of the position as Mistress of Pemberley. But a lady who had any kind of pride and sense of self-worth would eviscerate you, if you spoke to her like this. Or worse, she would laugh at your presumption to think that you are her superior.'

'What do you mean?'

'I presume that the lady with whom you are in love, is Miss Bennet, the lovely lady currently staying at the parsonage.'

'You are correct.'

'Then why do you call her inferior? She is a gentleman's daughter and you are a gentleman, and the son of a gentleman. In that you are equal.'

'But her mother is the daughter of a tradesman, and Mrs Bennet is mercenary and her manners are atrocious.'

'How can that be a degradation? Aunt Cat is the daughter of an Earl, and she is mercenary and her manners are atrocious, despite having the best schooling that money can buy.'

'You should have seen her youngest sisters, how they were flirting and throwing themselves at the officers of the militia, particularly Wickham.'

'How old are those sisters? Since Miss Elizabeth Bennet is not yet one and twenty, they must be quite young.'

'I believe they are fifteen and seventeen.'

'Quite young and silly then. Did any of them agree to elope with Wickham or anyone else?'

'Not to my knowledge. Why?'

'I wondered what makes them worse than Georgiana?'

'But they have no propriety.'

'Georgie learned all about propriety, but she still agreed to an elopement.'

Darcy looked chagrined. 'I had never thought of it that way.'

'What else?'

'Their estate is entailed to Collins.'

'Aunt Cat's parson?' At Darcy's nod he asked, 'how can you blame the family for having had a misogynistic ancestor?'

'But they are poor. As I understand it, Mrs Bennet squanders every penny the estate earns. The girls have no dowry.'

'Do you need any more money? I would have thought that an annual income in excess of ten thousand...'. 'Nearly thirty' muttered Darcy. '...was enough to live rather comfortably.'

'No, but society expects me to marry someone of similar wealth and status.'

'Do you truly care so much about society? Considering how you complain about having to deal with those mercenary, unprincipled and debauched libertines; your words, not mine; I did not think their expectations would matter to you.'

'The family has no connections.'

'Is there anybody in society, whom you would like to know, to whom you do not have a connection already?'

'No.'

'Is there anything about Miss Bennet that is objectionable?'

'Not at all. She is the most wonderful, witty and caring woman I have ever known.'

'Deuced pretty too.'

'That too.'

'Then why would you want to insult her? If you are serious about wanting to marry her, you had better ditch this travesty of a proposal and come up with something better designed to win her favour. Especially since she does not particularly like you.'

'What makes you think she does not like me?'

'The way she keeps needling you.' Richard grinned at the perplexed expression on his cousin's face. 'Do not worry. I noticed that you like her, but she is not over-fond of you. Therefore, I have begun a campaign to make her more favourably inclined towards you. I have been singing your praises to her.'

'Oh?'

'Indeed. I have been telling her what a wonderful and considerate brother you are to Georgiana, and how you always take good care of your friends.'

Darcy became suspicious. 'Did you give her any examples of the care I take of my friends?'

'Naturally. She seemed most impressed about the time you extricated Bingley from that fortune-hunter.'

'Damn. That was how she found out that I separated Bingley from her sister,' muttered Darcy.

Colonel Fitzwilliam looked horrified. 'That was her sister? Darcy, I am sorry. I did not know, since you never mentioned any names.'

'Do not concern yourself, she blames Bingley more than me.'

'How do you know?'

'She told me after I proposed to her.'

'You already proposed to her? Please tell me you did not use these words.' Richard waved the paper he was still holding.'

'I did say all of that,' Darcy admitted dejectedly.

'And you are still alive? I would have thought she would have eviscerated you for insulting her in such a way. What happened?'

'You do not think she accepted my hand in marriage?'

'I believe that Miss Bennet has more pride than that. I cannot imagine her meekly accepting a man who would denigrate her.'

'It seems that you know her better than I do.'

'So, tell me, what happened?'

'She thought that I was joking, and thought it a most amusing jest.'

'Did you try to disabuse her of that notion?'

'Miss Elizabeth thought that Mrs Collins had put me up to it, to cheer her up. I was going to pretend that that was the case, when the lady herself arrived, and corrected Miss Elizabeth's perception. After that…'

'Tell me what happened,' asked Colonel Fitzwilliam, before he poured himself a drink, refreshed Darcy's, and then sat down to listen to the whole sorry tale. When his cousin finished speaking, Richard commented, 'all things considered, that went better than I would have expected. But if you are going to speak to her in the morning, you had better get it into your head that you are dealing with a lady who is at least your equal in everything but wealth.'

'Do you truly believe that?'

'Indeed, I do.' Richard smirked. 'I suspect that mother will love her.'

With that comment, Colonel Fitzwilliam left his cousin to consider these new ideas. While he loved Darcy like a brother, he was aware of the man's flaws. Hopefully Miss Bennet would provide the impetus to help Darcy to change.

~~~J~~~