A/N: This was supposed to be a premise for a Ted/Lucius fic I don't think I'll ever have the time to write, but who knows? I hope you enjoy this!

Title: where you need to be

Summary: Lucius is Sorted… Will it be Slytherin? Or something else?

Genres: ? (I have no clue, honestly these genres are very limited)

Characters: Lucius, Sorting Hat

WC: 530

Lucius sits perfectly still as the Hat is placed on his head. According to family legend, the Hat should even have to touch your head. It'll just scream SLYTHERIN at the top of its lungs as soon as your around. Which is why Lucius starts to panic, just a little bit, when the Hat descends upon his head and he can't see anything but black. Merlin, when was the last time this thing was cleaned? He hopes he isn't getting lice from this thing.

Lucius Malfoy… I've Sorted one of you with the same name before.

Lucius is startled at first—it isn't everyday a magical Hat talks right into your head—but he quickly gets over it. Instead, he replies right back, in thought. 'Yes. I'm a Malfoy. Now, put me in Slytherin.'

The Hat chuckles, and Lucius panics just a bit more. Yes, I can easily see why you belong in Slytherin.

'What are you waiting for, then?" Lucius thought-growls.

Don't you think it would be too easy if I put you in Slytherin.

What the flip is the Hat talking about? Lucius belongs in Slytherin. Heck, he was raised to be as Slytherin as possible. Slytherin is basically attached to his very name! 'No! Just sort me already!'

I don't know. Fate owes me, surely she won't mind if I play with her timeline a bit.

Clearly, the Hat was talking to itself. Lucius had no idea what the heck was going on. Who was Fate? What was this 'timeline' nonsense.

Yes. I know exactly what I'll do.

The Hat seems positively gleeful, and this truly worries Lucius. 'What are you going to do?'

I'll put you not where you belong, but where you need to go.

But by the time Lucius understands what has just happened, it's far, far too late. He doesn't know where he was truly supposed to go, but the Hat has completely messed up everything, and all events that happen from now on are set in stone.

"HUFFLEPUFF!" the hat yells at the top of his lungs, and the room goes completely still.

Never, in the History of Wizards, has a Malfoy been Sorted into Hufflepuff. Ever. There've been a few Ravenclaws, but every one is Slytherin. Gryffindor and Hufflepuff are completely out of question. Lucius gets up shakily from his seat, and starts to make his way towards his new house.

It doesn't make any sense. Lucius has literally no defining Hufflepuff characteristics. He isn't nice, he's isn't kind, he has no patience, and he isn't accepting at all. His new housemates, on the other hand, are and all start clapping when he takes his seat.

"Welcome to Hufflepuff, Lucius!" one of them tells him.

"Don't talk to me," he growls. The girl recoils.

Lucius doesn't eat during the entire meal. What had once seem absolutely delicious now tastes like dirt to him. He has to force himself not to cry during the entire meal, all while silently cursing the Hat that has now ruined his life.

It's a change, that's for sure. Whether it's good or bad, not many can tell. Lucius doesn't think it is but time will tell...