Chapter 4
Note: Added Trigger Warnings for Eye trauma and self-harm in this chapter
I return to violence in the Cossack home, a fight already in progress. Ring Man stands with clenched fists over a kneeling Blues, who wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, hiding a grin. Ring Man seems unaware the first blow was given away. He'll figure it out soon enough.
Kalinka is not here. If she was, this would not be happening. Skull Man must also be gone, unable to stop the fight before it started. The other Cossacks bots are out of sight—intentionally, is my guess, in one way or another. A deliberate set-up. A dangerous one.
"Father and Alexei might not be willing to say it, but I will," Ring Man hisses. "Keep your hands off my sister."
Blues stands, holding his hands high and wide. "I ain't putting my hands anywhere they're not wanted, buddy."
Ring Man snarls, launching himself at Blues. A mistake. Blues easily ducks, sweeping Ring Man's leg in the process. He goes for the pin, but Ring Man's not an idiot. He catches Blues with the backswung elbow, and the fight goes to the floor.
I almost jerk myself free from my shadows before I think better of it. Blues and Ring Man fighting is an uncommon event, but this one is different.
This one is about Kalinka.
Blues gets in a punch. Ring Man knees him in the stomach. They break apart and roll back to their feet, Ring Man furious, Blues triumphant. He's misjudging this, too excited by a real fight to realize the depth of the mistake he's making. Blues' siblings are held at a distance, cared about but not well understood. Ring Man already lost his sister once.
He won't let Blues take her away again.
"You know, Ivan," Blues says, still grinning. "If you're so hung up on me dating Kalinka, you should have just asked me out yourself."
Ring Man goes rigid.
"Toad Man let your sad little crush slip," Blues added. "Not that it's much of a secret."
You little fool.
Blues doesn't see the blow coming. Ring Man has been holding back. He fakes another punch, twisting as Blues starts to block it. Ring Man slams his fist into Blues' blind eye, shattering his sunglasses.
He deserves this, I think, sharp and bitter. Until Blues crumples, clutching his eye. Until a sound Blues desperately tries to contain escapes his lips, somewhere between a whimper and a sob. He doesn't let go of his eye.
He doesn't get back up.
Ring Man's anger vanishes, and he takes a step back. "Papa? Papa!"
The shadows pull on me, keeping me back. Dr. Cossack comes quick, summoned by the urgency in his son's voice, Dust Man on his heels. The doctor drops to Blues' side without wasting time asking questions.
Dust Man turns his deep eyes on Ring Man. "Vanya, what have you done?"
"Blues," Dr. Cossack says. His touch is gentle, but Blues flinches away from it, curling into myself tightly. "Blues, you have to let me see."
He's panicking. Blues' breathing is quick and shallow, his fingers curling in. You have to stop him, he's going to —
Something dark leaks between Blues' fingers. Ring Man leans in, his eyes wide. "He's damaging himself!"
"Dima," Dr. Cossack says sharply, and Dust Man is there, pulling Blues' arms away, bending his stained fingers away from his face. "Help me get him to the lab. Blues, I know it hurts, but we need you to stand. Can you stand?"
"Papa…" Ring Man's tone has changed to horror. He doesn't understand this. He doesn't know what to do.
Neither do I.
Dr. Cossack wastes no time on anger, meeting Ring Man's eyes. "Tell Kalinka and Alexei to cut their shopping trip short. Blues, please let Dima help you stand."
Somehow, Dust Man does get Blues upright, though his feet barely touch the floor, his hands still clutching his eye. I follow them to the lab, my shadows barely any protection, no one aware enough to notice.
I should be more careful. I don't think about it.
Dust Man gets Blues in a sitting position on a table, sinking back into the background once he's sure the boy is no longer hurting himself. He almost trips over me on the way out, but he doesn't notice. He's scared, like Ring Man. He's never seen a robot do this to himself before. He didn't think it was possible.
I've seen too much to ever think that way again.
"Blues," Dr. Cossack says. He's got a flashlight in his hands. Blues sees it through the gap in his fingers and pulls away with a whimper, his back hitting the wall.
Cossack puts the flashlight down. "No tools," he says, offering open palms. "I won't touch your eye, I promise. I just need to look."
Blues doesn't move as Dr. Cossack gently touches his face. He lets the doctor pry his fingers away, cleaning them with a cloth. Blues' dead eye is black, filled with fluid, but it's stop leaking. His other eye is blue, wide with a terror no one else understands.
I can't look at it long.
"There's no debris," Dr. Cossack says. His voice is low and calming. His touch barely a brush, wiping Blues' face with care. "Your self repair will fix it, but we should keep it covered. Is that okay?"
Blues makes a sound that could be yes or no, but he doesn't stop Dr. Cossack from covering the eye with a bandage.
"This eye was never meant to be permanent," Dr. Cossack continues. "It's not properly connected to your internal systems, and that's why a direct blow caused so much pain. Your overloaded systems registered the eye as a foreign object, so your instinct was to remove it."
"I'm not crazy?" Blues' words are raspy.
Dr. Cossack frowns. "You're not crazy. If you don't want to fix it for good, that will continue to be a risk."
Blues' good eye darts around the room. It pauses on me and for a moment I panic, but it shifts unseeing, settling on the tools.
"How did this happen?" Dr. Cossack asks. "How did you lose your eye?"
Blues' doesn't look away from the tools. "Pliers," he says.
Dr. Cossack's hands still. "What?"
"I wouldn't hurt Kalinka," Blues says, his voice trembling. "So he used pliers."
Dr. Cossack jerks back in horror. It's too much for Blues, and he slips free and runs, Dr. Cossack in too much shock to stop him.
I don't follow him.