Chapter 3
Everything hurt; from the ends of her hair, to the tips of her toes, but she could feel the biggest regret of her life despite the Crucio that seemed to live in her veins.
She was going to die-and Harry didn't even know she was in love with him.
But of course she was, she already knew that; but that never mattered in the end, not when Harry James Potter would always almost-die every year or worse- get expelled. What good could a confession, or her adolescent infatuation be to him when he had bigger things to worry about like staying alive and finding pieces of Voldemort's soul?
Knowing how she felt would just make things worse, or at the very least, too awkward for the three of them to share the tent and get on with the war. Ron would literally fly off the handle he had already let go of recently, Harry would withdraw, internalizing the implications of her coming along this quest. He would also worry more about Ginny, whom she knew he checked every night on The Marauder's Map before he went to sleep.
The last thing Harry needed was the burden of her feelings, complicated as they were thanks to her constant nagging and worrying. She knew she was no one's ideal girlfriend, what with her plain looks, bossy personality and book smarts. She was great for help and support in a pinch, but a snogging partner or comfort to the cares of the world she was definitely not.
Harry needed someone who could make him feel good about himself, who could comfort him and make him feel special.
Hermione Granger was definitely not that girl.
Still, as she realized with a distant sort of horror that the high-pitched screaming in the background belonged to her, she wouldn't change a thing about their relationship. She loved him, and she was sure he loved her as a best friend, and that would always be enough for her. She would always be in his life, and he in hers, and she would love his children like her own. It didn't even hurt, really, that she knew he would marry and father someone else's children, since she knew how much it would make him happy.
All she wanted was for him to be happy, to be safe and to get the family that could accept all the love she knew he had deep inside him, buried under the abuse of the Dursleys, the expectations of Wizarding Britain, and the machinations of one Albus Percival Brian Wulfric Dumbledore.
She had to survive this, and figure out how to tell him he had a Horcrux in his head, that they would find a way to get it out without killing him, that she would be with him until the very end, whether that was minutes from now or years down the line.
She had to get it together, try to keep the fraying edges of her mind from unraveling like Neville's parents, somehow get out of this horrid situation and save Harry since he had so much to live for after such a horrible childhood.
But how could she, when she could barely even scream now, and she was sure she'd lost control of all her bodily functions. Draco Malfoy, whom she knew was standing in the corner watching, would love to tell all the other Slytherins how that mudblood Granger soaked his sitting room carpet in spit and piss as his aunt put a wand to her.
I'm so sorry Harry. I'm sorry, I can't hold on. I need to go. I can't do this anymore. It's too much.
Please go! Get him out of here, Ron Weasley! Get him out, please!
There's a Horcrux! There's a Horcrux in your head and you need to get it out first!
Please, somebody, anybody, tell him about the Horcrux and help him because I can't-I can't anymore!
I'm sorry, Harry, oh, I love you, I loved you more than I could say, but it's not enough. Oh, Harry, I-
Someone had saved her. Maybe it was even Malfoy. For some reason she was back at Hogwarts, in the Infirmary, and she was recovering from the Cruciatus. Harry and Ron would have gotten out too, and they were being healed and fed before they would finally go off to find the rest of the horcruxes!
Yes, there was a chance! She could check the Restricted Section on how to extract the last one from Harry while they were recovering and maybe he didn't have to die at the-
"Harry James Potter! I'm so glad you're alright! Where's Ron? How did we get away? Oh, Harry, I thought we were going to die!"
She checked him over, like she usually did, as if he was the younger brother her mother miscarried when she fell during Hermione's first bout of accidental magic. Her hands searched his hair for bumps, her fingers tracing the skin of his face for cuts and wounds, careful not to touch the scar on his forehead. But she would eventually get to that always, carefully, parting his hair just to see if it would change and she wouldn't have to see him die to see the horcrux removed.
Today, it was certainly different. She couldn't place why, no matter how high she reached up to-
Hermione's heart rate sped up at an alarming rate just as she felt her stomach drop, and she finally realized that she and Harry were not alone. He wasn't even Harry. He was Lord Hadrien James Potter, and she was still locked in the nightmare.
Take me back. Take me back to the war!
She didn't notice that no one was speaking or moving, and at that moment, she couldn't tell whether she could handle anything anymore. What was she doing? Why was she in the Infirmary? What just happened?
She felt something begin to crawl in her veins, in the blood beneath her skin, a soft tingling that reached from the back of her head down to her fingertips. There were too many people.
Even Sirius was here!
Professor McGonagall looked so disappointed, and Luna was surely tired of all the trouble she had caused. What should she do? If they forced her out of Hogwarts, how could she finish everything she needed to do?
"I...I…" she stuttered, finding it hard to breathe. She had to gasp and every intake of breath didn't seem enough.
"Lady Granger, please, you must lie back down…" she heard someone say. She wasn't sure who, but she realized how close she was to Harry-Hadrien. Why didn't she see that he was too tall, and that he wasn't thin and his shoulders gangly? Or that his cheeks and face were more filled out, and that he didn't look like her Harry at all?
She saw a flash of light on her left, and a strange, tall witch with very short hair raised her wand.
No!
"Miss Granger, watch out-!"
Weeks later, when she was finally able to process enough of what had happened to her, Hermione would be secretly relieved and horrified that she didn't splinch herself or the Viscount of Grimmauld when she apparated in a full-blown a panic attack.
"Where is my son?!" Sirius Black could not help but raise his voice, Japanese Magical nobility and Hogwarts Headmistresses be damned. This was the first time in almost a decade that he did not know exactly where Harry was, and it was made clear that he had not improved in his paranoia one bit since that fateful Halloween that marked James and Lily's death.
There was a loud crack from outside the door, and the noise made him reach for his wand, uncaring whether the school's special wards would blast him to smithereens for doing magic under its roof when he was neither a student nor an instructor.
The witches around him turned to the sound, and he purposefully put himself between them and the door even as he felt more than heard the loud banging on the door.
"Open up, Black! I know you're in there! What has happened to the boy?!"
A voice he had not heard in years had him raising his wand. Behind him, the French healer pushed the Japanese witch behind her then began to stride forward. He tried to hold an arm out to stop her, but she batted it away.
"Lord Black, do you know who's trying to tear my Infirmary door down?" Minerva asked, and Sirius knew, but he also couldn't say if he wanted to open it.
But it seemed Hogwarts' wards had finally made themselves known, and he knew that he could yell himself blue and he might as well be holding a dead branch.
"Yes, I know him. And you do, too. He means no harm. To any of you, at least." he sighed, and waved the French witch away tiredly, who nodded and returned to Jingu's side.
"Minerva, if you would be so kind as to stun us if this escalates…" he looked back and threw open the Infirmary door, and a man clad completely in black stormed in, the back of his coat billowing dramatically. His hair was cropped short, unlike the time they parted a decade ago, where it was long and greasy. There seemed to be icicles hanging to the tips of his bangs, but there was no denying that look of rage that had always been directed at him since they were young boys.
Ever since that fateful Halloween, Sirius thought that his childhood nemesis was always ready for war.
"Where is he, mutt?" said the man named Severus Snape, who smelled like he had been high up on a frozen mountain just before he appeared in Hogwarts' halls. Sirius never knew that Severus could appear immediately like this, and that the old Slytherin would know that something had happened to Harry. "I told you to watch him!"
But it made sense, since he put totem charms and other devices on James' son, that Severus had laid his own protections on Lily's.
"If you would calm down, Snivellus, then you could be useful for once and help me find him!" Sirius growled back, realizing that after all these years, Severus Snape exceeded him in height, and had taken on a wiry strength.
Not that it mattered. He could still pummel the slimy git into the ground, blood oath or no. The pact they made years ago didn't mention anything about a good brawl-but he doubted they'd survive it both if they did it in Minerva's Infirmary.
"Lord Black! Mr. Snape!" the two former students of Professor McGonagall stopped their manly show of intimidating the other and separated, Sirius realizing he had taken Severus by the man's collar while the taller man was pushing down on his shoulders. Their hands were on their way to each other's necks. "You will cease quarrelling this instant and come help us find the children!"
Sirius found five witches staring at him, Minerva looking like that time she discovered he was hiding his animagus ability. The French healer was still able to keep that bored look of contempt quite well, and of all the things, the Japanese witch he was escorting on her visit looked fascinated.
"Apologies, Minerva." he heard the Slytherin's smooth apology from beside him, and he had to force himself to calm down. Once they found Harry and the little chit, he could pay Snivellus back for the insult. "I did not realize you were with Black. I had some protections on the bo-on Mr. Potter. I must find him at once."
The oldest witch in the room made a sound that every Hogwarts student in the room both former and current bracing for a lecture, but didn't register with the foreigners. Sirius knew that was the sound the headmistress made just before she gave everyone their deserved dressing-down, and had to stop from flinching.
But it seemed that the older witch had to glance at the others in the room, and Sirius realized that she did not want to dress him down in deference to his guest.
"I hope you will forgive us, Minerva. You know after what happened to James and Lily that I-" Sirius was not able to finish his thought, as he suddenly found himself looking down at Jingu, who had unwarrantedly taken his hand and Severus' as well into hers. He had yet to be in such close proximity to the Japanese witch, keeping his distance even when entertaining her as a guest of the Wizengamot and the Sacred 28 Families. The amount of magic she held in her body was immense. She was one of the most magical persons he had ever met-even moreso than Arianna Dumbledore, or his grandfather, Arcturus Black.
She gazed at the two of them from her diminutive height, switching from one man to the other, and the space between them. For some reason the gleam in her eyes discomforted him. He heard Healer Durant groan.
"I am so moved by your love for Hadrien-kun, my Lords. Your auras fairly crackle with power-never have I seen such bonds of magic! Rest assured, the House of Amaterasu will help you and your husband find your son, Black-sama, Snape-san." she said, her very small hand tightening around his.
Sirius thought he was losing his eyesight and hearing, the edges of his vision darkening as his ears started ringing. H..husband…?
"Black, who in The Bloody Dark Lord's ballsack is this woman?!" he heard Severus bellow, but it sounded quite far even if the man was standing next to him.
Sirius could say he felt none too different when he found out his best friend had died.
Sirius supposed something had to give, eventually. He was glad that it was finally Minerva McGonagall and Poppy Pomfrey who did, when Luna Lovegood had to help the two cackling women to sit on Hermione's empty hospital bed.
Finding someone in the British Wizarding World was not usually that complicated as tracking spells and other means of scrying were available. He had known where Harry was from the moment he laid eyes on the boy, and this was the first instance Sirius had no idea where his son was in almost eighteen years. Even when he belonged to James and Lily, Sirius knew where Hadrien James Potter was at all times.
He had hoped he would hear something on his communication mirror, but every time he looked, the mirror only showed a swirling mass of grey and white as if he only bought it that moment. There was never a time in his life when he could not see Harry in the mirror whenever he called. His son was very faithful in answering calls.
Harry had not just one but two portkeys on him and Sirius' worry only grew with each minute as the House Elves reported that Harry had not appeared safe and sound at Grimmauld Place, or Black House. They assured him that Harry was alive and well, as the Potter and Grimmauld estates had not rearranged their powers at all-only that he was very much distorted from their view and magic.
What protections Snape had on the boy he didn't know-but their Vow made sure that both of them would not voluntarily harm James and Lily's son.
Whatever Snape had given the boy seemed to have become ineffectual as well, and it only deepened his worry.
It all had to do with the Granger girl.
How could she have disappeared with a pop?
He knew no wordless spell that could displace a person from one location to another instantaneously, and wordlessly, at will, especially one as heavily-warded as Hogwarts. Only activated portkeys could transport people and only to a specific location. No spell or artifact could also shed magic that rendered such old and robust tracking useless unless they did that in ritual. Harry had all manner of protections, both known and unknown to the boy since he came under the Black Duchy purview.
If he hadn't seen it with his own two eyes, he would never have believed that Harry and the Granger girl had simply disappeared in a swirl of magic. Whether the girl pulled him in with her or Harry reached out he couldn't tell-but after this, he was not letting his son out of his sight as long as Voldemort was still out there.
If educating the boy at home was an option, he wouldn't even have let Harry go to Hogwarts.
Could Granger be an agent of Voldemort? But Severus would have told him if that family was allied with that side. The family had not even registered a seat on the Wizengamot when the girl was born. He and James were there when Death Eaters had killed that Muggle family and left an orphan witch. How they knew Granger was a witch before she had even been born was still something no one had figured out yet, after all these years.
"Just a little further, Black-sama, I think they're quite near. Your bonds aren't that stretched anymore." Jingu's voice from behind him snapped him out of his thoughts, and his hand gripped the handle of Harry's Firebolt tighter. A few meters to his right were Severus and his passenger, Annadelle Durant, who came in case the children needed healing. Or defending.
"Thank you again, my Lady, for helping me locate my son. And for your earlier help at the castle as well." he said, and realized that this was the first time in a very long time that he took a witch for a ride on a broomstick. He tried to stop himself from snickering despite the situation. Knowing that Harry was near was undoubtedly making the Duke feel quite better.
For some reason, he decided to glance at Severus, and found the dour man staring at him as if he was a misbehaving student. Could the man have known his inappropriate thoughts?
Impossible. Despite knowing the man had never taught a class in his life, Sirius always felt that if he and Severus did not make that Vow long ago, he may have gone on to be an academic.
But that was neither here nor there, and when this was sorted out, he would take advantage of being in the same country as Harry's other guardian-if only to get a much-needed update on his hunt for Voldemort's shade.
"They're near, I think you can call out for them now." he heard the witch behind him say, and she began to call out. "Hadrien-kun! It's us! Please call out to us!"
Sirius slowed their pace, which Severus seemed to match, and then he heard his son's voice again-and he would be damned if he was going to cry in front of the Slytherin of all people.
"Dad! We're down here!"
Sirius didn't know whether he jumped down from 50 feet in the air to see his son again or if he managed to land himself and Jingu safely. When he realized his surroundings, he was clasping his boy in his arms, and he was sobbing as Harry thumped his chest.
Sirius did not realize he leaped from the broom and shifted into his Grim animagus form and bounded up to Harry as a dog and embraced him as a human.
"Dad! I'm all right! No harm done, just tired from walking!" he loosened his grip on Harry, and mimicked what Hermione had done earlier, checking his son for injuries. "Uncle Severus, you're here!"
He heard the crunch of leaves behind him. The man could wait his damn turn.
Sunset was near, and the setting rays fell on the sleeping form of the girl who managed to steal Harry away under a nearby tree. There wasn't an eerie glow of magic or shield around her anymore. The French Healer was kneeling next to her, casting diagnostic spells.
"Potter. Are you truly all right?" Severus said roughly from behind him. Harry pushed his father off gently and with wide eyes, nodded at the taller man. Sirius could tell seeing Severus was something his son didn't expect at all.
"I… I tried to contact both of you, but the mirrors didn't work, and the portkeys were basically dead. I figured you would find me eventually but I didn't like the idea of staying in one place."
Sirius supposed that while he and Severus never did get along, the man was just as worried for Harry as he was. He saw the tall Slytherin reach out to hold Harry's shoulder and squeeze, and Harry took a deep breath.
"Report what happened." said Severus, even as he saw Jingu fly down to almost ground level, only one hand on the broom and riding sideways. If he wasn't so relieved, he'd have the energy to be surprised she knew how to use one. She alighted daintily next to Healer Durant, whose wand was glowing, and there was a whispered conversation.
"I thought Her-Lady Granger was going to fall, so I grabbed her, then I felt like I was being shoved into a very tight space and released into this forest. I...I asked her what she'd done, but I panicked and…" Harry cast a furtive glance at the trio of witches under the tree. "I may have scared her. She began crying and saying things...then she fainted again. When I couldn't portkey or call you both, I decided to walk to a river to scry and see if I could find a way home."
Harry took a deep breath and looked at Hermione, whom Healer Durant had hefted into her arms.
"She doesn't seem well, Dad. She's been acting odd since we got back from break. I don't think she should go back to school." he said, just as Jingu and Healer Durant approached.
"We just need to bring her back to Hogwarts, deshou?" Jingu smiled and the two older men and turned to Harry. "Do you need a Healer too, Hadrien-kun? Anna-kun can check you over."
"I'm all right, Lady Jingu. Just tired." Sirius saw that his son was also having trouble looking at the Japanese witch. Severus was still manfully acting like her magic wasn't pressing his into retreat.
"You Britons are quite fragile, are you not?" said the Durant woman, who then transferred Hermione onto her shoulder like a sack of potatoes. "And have very interesting magic." She continued, tightening her grip on the girl's waist. The woman blew her bangs out of her eyes and put her other hand on her hip. "Let us get a move on?"
"Lady Jingu of House Amaterasu, I cannot begin to thank you for helping me find my son on your official trip to Britian, but know that the House of Black and Potter are in your debt." Sirius paused. Jingu smiled brightly at him, but a beat of awkward silence followed." We wouldn't have found him so quickly without you." he hoped his mimicry of her traditional bow was not too impolite.
Sirius kicked Severus' shin.
"The House of Snape thanks you as well, Amaterasu-san." came the strained reply from the dour Slytherin, who bowed slightly.
Jingu's smile brightened even more, and he watched in fascination as she bowed to him in her tradition, her straight black hair cascading down her shoulder like a waterfall. It was fairly mesmerizing. "Amaterasu-sama is my esteemed mother. I beg your pardon again for my earlier faux pas about your relationship, Black-sama, Snape-san. Please feel free to use my first name, in light of the circumstances."
Healer Durant let out a loud groan.
Sirius decided he shouldn't be in the direct path of the Japanese woman's regard for very long. He was beginning to think she had compulsion magic woven into her clothes. He very much wanted to use her first name.
"I also thoroughly enjoyed a ride on your broom, Black-sama." she continued, and it was Harry's shin this time that received two swift kicks from his guardians.
"Jingu, if you do not cease prattling this instant I will dump this child onto your head after I set you on fire." said Healer Durant, and something in her voice made Sirius and Severus slide their wands into their hands, as if they knew she would make good on her threat. Until that moment, he did not feel anything but a bored annoyance from the woman. Now, he was sure he felt latent bloodthirst.
His Auror instincts were on high alert.
"My apologies, Healer Durant. I have a portkey to Grimmauld Place, my personal home in London. You can Floo from there to St. Mungo's or Hogwarts, whichever you prefer."
Author's note:
As you can see, it's quite rough, as I have no beta. Will be re-uploading separately with better editing and fixes, but in the meantime, it goes here. Thank you for reading!