Chapter 4: Conversation
Eren watches the new soldiers collect their gear and clothes and everything they left behind, a few limp back to the castle, one has to be half carried, half pulled by his friends. The training is hard but Erwin told them to show no mercy and Levi and Eren made sure none of them would return without a few bruises. The last people on the training field are Armin, Mikasa, Levi and Eren. He can see their nervous energy, trying to find the courage to talk to him while Levi stands right next to him. Levi on the other hand has no intention of leaving without him, if Eren doesn't send him to go first.
Deciding that everything will go more smoothing and faster Eren turns to Levi and kisses him on the lips. That get him his partners attention. "Go on. I will catch up, save me a seat." Levi´s eyes sparkle and he, in return steals a kiss before he walks pass Mikasa and Armin who stare at them with wide, shocked eyes.
Eren looks back at Levi and waits until he is out of sight before he turns towards Mikasa and Armin. He was surprised by their abilities, especially Armin who had never shown any sign of fighting skills. Mikasa on the other hand was scarily good at it. She finished first place and as top rank she could have gone everywhere but she came here. Eren smiles a bit to break the ice and the two seem to relax a bit.
"So you joined up." Eren tries to sound casual, as if this conversation is nothing special but his voice is stiff and has lost most of his commanding authority he had shown during the training.
Armin just started at him, the reality of Eren being alive and well seem to hit him again. All soldiers where to preoccupied with combat training or the usage of the gear to think much about their teachers. "You are alive." His childhood friend finally got out and he could see tears building in the blue eyes.
"Yes, I am." What else is there to say.
"Why didn't you try to find us, or your parents? You said that you are part of the Survey Corps for three years. Didn't it occur to you to search for us after the fall?" Eren thinks Mikasa doesn't want to sound judging but he sees the hurt behind her grey eyes. Eyes that remind him of Levi.
Eren wouldn't take these words to heart, he had other worries during his time on the surface and yes he could have searched for his family but what is the use out of this. There is no way he can return to them, even when they are alive. He is a soldier now and honestly Eren doubts he would fit in. "I knew you two were alright." They look confused. "I saw you half a year ago, in the crowd as the went out for another mission. I knew you would join so I waited for you to come to me." It was true.
"Oh." Armin says with wide eyes. "Captain Levi´s girlfriend." Now it´s Eren´s turn to look confused. "I saw only your back and with the hair you looked like a girl, there wasn't much time before the gate opened and you left. So … you and the captain." A grim appears on Armin´s face.
"Yes me and Levi are together." Eren waits for a comment but it doesn't follow. He is thankful, he doesn't want to explain their relationship. They get enough wired looks from other people. It´s not so much the age gap of 5 years it's that they are both male. Eren swallows, he has to asks and what better time then now. "Are my parents … did they make it?"
Mikasa looked pained and it´s Armin who answers. "Carla died as the wall fell. A piece of the wall crashed your house and buried her. We couldn't get her out before Hannes took us away. You know the soldier, one of the drunk ones you hated so much for ignoring their duties. He saved us. And your father … he never came to wall Rose. We don´t know where he is. He is missing."
His heart gets pierced by a knife, at least it feels like it. His mother is dead. This strong woman who always laughed and smiled. Who was the meaning of home and family and warmth before he met Levi in the dark and cold underground city. She is gone. Maybe she shouldn't have asked but thinking about it, this information has no consequence for his life. He, Eren Jäger, the boy from Shinganshina is dead. The boy reborn in the underground city has no parents. It shouldn't hurt so much. Still it does, Eren had thought he was finished with his old life but seeing Armin and Mikasa again brings back memories and feelings he had thought lost. "We should go and get dinner. You must be tired and tomorrow will be even more difficult." Eren starts walking towards the castle, he doesn't want to talk or even think about his mother. He will start crying if he does and that is something he would only to in Levi´s arms, under the blanket, hidden away from this cruel world.
Armin and Mikasa follow a second later. They don't try to get him to talk about his parents or the fact that he had never start looking for the, not about his relationship with Levi or him being in the Survey Corps. They just follow him silently and as they reach the dining hall they stop at the table with the new recruits while Eren walks pass them and joins Levi, Isabel and Furlan who saved him a seat and waited for him with their dinner. They would talk about the training plan tomorrow. Plan ahead for the next mission or complain about the food, because Isabel had found out that there is a difference between food. That happens when food is available and not categories in ´eatable´ and ´you die when you eat it´. Eren knows that Levi will ask later but right now he can pretent that nothing had changed.