Insert AN
Padmé effortlessly glided through the water, focusing on her strokes and kicks. Having spent many of her summer months as a child on Varykino in the lake country of Naboo, she tended to excel at swimming. Now, she did it to physically exhaust herself so sleep would come easier during the long nights of her incarceration at Vader's estate. Nothing else seemed to help. She had tried sleeping pills, excess amounts of wine, and even long soaks in her bath, but those would temporarily relax her, not help her actually fall asleep and stay asleep.
Sleep was her refuge, a place where her mind could wonder and be free. It was her comfort, the realm where she could go far away, free of the maniacal Darth Vader. Though lately he had been rather elusive. After being at his estate for a little over a week, she hadn't seen him since his visit to her room where he had promised that she would hate him even more when he eventually took off his hood. If the man wouldn't get so angry or be so cryptic in the way he talked, he would be someone that she might be able to tolerate in the most unsatisfactory way, instead of outright hating him.
But for now, at least, she was free from his words and his presence. It was more likely than not that he was off world somewhere, trying to stomp out whatever cells of the Rebellion that he could find. It surprised her that he didn't grill her for countless hours over the composition of the insurrectionists, though it was entirely possible that he already knew that she had been told very little about the various cells that were scattered through the galaxy. That had been Bail's intent all along, but little did he know, Vader had suspected them all before they had done anything significant. How omnipotent was the ghoul that he was able to know more about an organization than its members before they did anything of note? It had to be that there had been highly sophisticated surveillance equipment utilized in the monitoring of various senators. That would be the only way Vader had known what she had said to Bail, there was no other explanation.
As aggravating as Vader was, the Rebellion aggravated her more. They could have slipped her word that she needed to run, to get off planet to rendezvous with whatever element that she could, but they didn't do that. They didn't warn her, and now, she was stuck here for merely warning them. She didn't hate them for it, they still had a massive undertaking ahead of them in order to combat the Empire, but it would have been nice had they not left her behind to rot away in the most exquisite home she had ever stayed in.
However, as exquisite as it was, it was still a prison. She had ceased looking out her window as there was seemingly always one or two of the smoky armored Stormtroopers patrolling the perimeter, looking for whatever unknown threat there was. None of them had spoken a word to her aside from the trooper that had given her the advice of following the rules, but she had no idea which one that was. They all looked so damned similar aside from slight variations of weapons, not that she wanted to get to know them. If they were Lord Vader's personal guard, which they seemed to be, then they were the zealots of the zealots. The ones that would always back their commander, regardless of the type of monster he was, which made them monsters in their own rights.
Padmé began to feel lightheaded, which signaled to her that she was pushing her workout to the limit. It didn't help that she had lost most of her appetite since her confinement. Dormé and Threepio tried their best to get her to eat more, but she simply couldn't muster more than a few bites of food at every meal. It would eventually get better once she was more acclimated to her new life She would pull out of the depressed state and adapt to this, just as she had adapted to various other challenges that she had.
Having had enough, once she reached the edge of the pool, she grabbed her gym bag of clothing and went to the adjacent shower room to clean off before she figured out what to do with the rest of her day. Thankfully, the showers next to the indoor pool were as hot as the shower in her room. They weren't as spacious, but that simply allowed steam to fill the stall more quickly, allowing her to get warm after jumping out of the pool. She briefly washed her hair and scrubbed herself down before toweling off. After making a half hearted attempt at brushing her hair out, she dressed in her skin tight exercise attire and went to leave.
Before she opened the door, she heard a splash as if someone had just jumped into the water. That was odd, Dormé had declined the invitation to swim with her today, and to her knowledge none of the guards were allowed to use the facilities to work out. She carefully cracked the door open and peered out to watch a jaw droppingly muscular man make powerful strokes under water to the far side of the pool. Whoever he was, he was fast and even from underwater she could see the bulging muscles on his arms as he effortlessly swam. He didn't have as much grace in the water as a professional swimmer, but he appeared to be the type that was more of a utilitarian swimmer, doing it for some need, not for spectators to watch him.
When he surfaced at the far side of the pool for a breath of air before he dove under again, she instinctively closed the door to a bare sliver, not wanting to be caught staring and had a sneaking suspicion that whoever the hell this was, he wouldn't take kindly to having his privacy violated. What the hell was he supposed to do? The showers were unisex, and the only way she would be able to leave the pool would be to wait until he was underwater, swimming away from her. She peered back out from the sliver of the cracked door to watch him speed under the water towards her.
Maybe a friendly interdiction? No, that wouldn't work. Vader's estate wasn't a social club, it was a beautiful military compound where the commander of the entire damned Imperial military hung his hat when he wasn't out terrorizing some planet out of pure joy. From what she saw, he appeared to be attractive, and his hair was fairly long, just brushing his shoulders. That ruled out military, there wasn't a member of the military that she had seen with hair that long, unless he was part of some clandestine unit. No, Vader wouldn't allow someone like that to use his personal… No, it couldn't be Vader. Could it? He certainly appeared tall enough and his shoulders were wide and powerful.
She pushed her head against the door frame and whimpered as she felt a wave of desire crash into her. If this really was Vader, he was an incredibly attractive man by most standards, even without having seen his face. She did catch a glimpse of scars on his body, which undoubtedly were from countless battles where he had either too much skill or luck to die. More likely skill, the universe didn't give luck to heinous people. At least she didn't think it did. Why did the gods curse her to have her warden, her tormentor be so fucking attractive?
Padmé knew she would have to act quickly to escape, not knowing how many laps the Sith Lord would do. When she heard him surface at her side of the pool, she clutched her gym bag in one hand and held onto the doorknob for dear life. She counted to five seconds and then opened the door slowly to see him swimming to the far side. Without rushing, she quickly closed the door and began to step as lightly as she could in her trainer shoes to the exit, making certain to always stay behind him. She reached the door seconds before he surfaced again and quickly slipped through and shut the door carefully.
Terrified, she waited to hear for angry curses or shouts at her, but there were none, not even footsteps to the door. After she breathed in relief, she headed out to the hallway on the second floor and took the lift to the fifth floor, needing to change out of her workout attire and into something a little more appropriate. As far as she knew, she was still a gods damned senator, and wouldn't become a complete slob in her manner of dress. Once she arrived at her room, she finally felt the overwhelming desire that had washed over her subside, and did her best to not think of Vader's rippling muscle as much as she could. Without seeing his face, it was still difficult to determine his age, but she figured that he was closer to hers than she originally realized. How someone so young could attain so much power in the Empire baffled her.
Putting those thoughts from her mind, she chose a sensible but elegant dress with straps for shoulders. She slipped out of her workout undergarments and into her usual lace ones, needing to still feel feminine before she put on the dress. It was deep blue with a white trim, perfect for a day dress at her prison. After she applied some modest makeup, she pulled the chair out from the desk and tried to decide what to do for the rest of the day. It was after lunch time, but not terribly close to dinner time, so there wasn't an entirely large number of activities that she could perform.
An idea popped into her head. What if she went for a stroll on the massive rooftop? She had only been up there once, and Threepio had been right, there was a large amount of shrubbery and trees to help maintain privacy. Standing up, she clicked her way in her heels to the lift and hit the button for the rooftop. She began to walk counter clockwise around the massive estate, looking out at whatever scenery she could see through the fauna, and down at the courtyard garden. She saw Threepio in the vegetable area undoubtedly harvesting a few delicacies to go with their dinner.
Once she made a full lap, she ran out of things to look at and began to let her mind wonder. Daydreaming was another source of escape, albeit not as good as sleep because her conscious mind would still know where the hell she was at, but it did help some. She let her mind wonder to her time as a junior senator, eager to change the galaxy into a place where people could live in peace and harmony. That was long before the CIS launched their offensive against the Republic's territories, but much had occurred during that year. It was the first year she had taken a lover, which of course ended badly for her. She apparently wasn't sexual enough for his needs, which infuriated her. Why men always had to focus on one thing baffled her to no end? It of course was for the best.
Her mind drifted to the goodwill mission when she was twenty one, the very mission that she had been on when she had met Anakin, the bastard. A wonderful man, but still a bastard. He had been sexual, but had been the only man that she considered to actual make love to. How she wished things had turned out differently. No, she wouldn't allow herself to cry over him, she cried enough these days and it wasn't healthy to continue to bombard her mind with negative thoughts, that was certainly the way to end up on pills for melancholy, that's if Vader would even allow that. Then, she thought of the dreadful senator that had worked hard enough to earn the right to bed her. He simply wouldn't do either, as he left her stating that they should be friends. It angered her more than made her fall into despair because he was truly an ass for saying such a thing almost right after she slept with him.
Finally, there was Darth Vader. She never thought she would have such feelings for him, let alone any man, except Anakin of course. Vader was just so intoxicating and somehow knew how to push all her buttons at the same time, confusing the utter hell out of her. If he wanted to be cruel to her, then he should just be cruel. Conversely, if he wanted some sort of relationship with her, he should abandon being a brute and work for her affections. Ha. Like that would ever happen. He could buy all the roses and orchids in the galaxy and it still wouldn't be enough for her to abandon her hatred for him. But there was still her desire to make have passionate sex with him. Every time he made an overture to her, she wasn't resistant, she willingly gave in and enjoyed the hell out of the moment.
That made her feel some angst towards Anakin, him having been her only true man. He was good to her, risked his life for her, and made love to her in a way she never thought possible. She was casting all of those remarkable traits aside for a monster that made people suffer just by his mere presence. Fuck, it was so damned frustrating and not fair.
Padmé felt a cool breeze and noticed that the sun was dropping rapidly. It was nearly dinner time so she figured she might as well go inside to poke at her food with disinterest. After taking the lift down to the first floor, her heals echoed in the great hall as she strowed towards the dinning area. Dormé was already seated, resting her hand on her head, not noticing that Padmé had entered the room. She quietly walked towards the dinner table and pulled her chair out and sat down.
"Are you alright, love?", she asked, wondering what was bothering her handmaiden.
Dormé looked up in surprise. "Padmé, I didn't notice that you came in." She sat up and smoothed out her dress. "Sorry, my mind has been occupied with thoughts."
"Thoughts of what?", Padmé asked, curious to know what was on her friend's mind. Whatever it was, she terribly hoped that her handmaiden wouldn't ask for clemency and to be permanently released from this confinement.
"Nothing special, she said as she swirled her wine. They were served red wine this evening, so their protein would probably be red meat. "I just know that you're so out of it considering the circumstances that we're in, but as you know, Threepio and I haven't noticed you consume enough food to keep you healthy. It just worries me is all", Dormé said as she stared at her plate. "I wouldn't mind if you would just let me into that brain of yours so we can figure this out."
"Dormé, darling, please look at me", Padmé whispered. "I'll get over it, just please let me try and get through this myself." It was sad that her handmaiden took her duties with zeal, but that had been mapped out in her brain since she was a young teenager, pounding in her responsibility to her Lady. Though, Padmé would have to keep her word that once she was more used to this hellish arrangement, she would get a grip on reality and have to function in order to maintain her sanity. The last thing she wanted was to whither away to skin and bones, forcing Vader to take drastic actions such as placing a feeding tube in her belly to ensure that she become health again.
Threepio came out with their plates and wished them a happy meal. Both women were angry at Vader, but Padmé couldn't tell if Dormé was angry with her for getting her into this mess without talking about it with her first. She essentially doomed her friend to a similar fate as she, except with privileges to leave the estate.
Padmé carved into her steak and took a few bites, realizing she needed some protein to recover from her workout, but still not feeling very hungry at all. She placed her silverware down on the table and took small sips of her wine while her friend dutifully at most of her meal. How was Dormé able to handle this better than her? Maybe because she wasn't being seduced by Vader, that had to be it. Vader's overtures were exciting and blood pumping, but she still detested the very ground he walked on.
"Now that he's back, how're things going with you and Vader, Padmé?", Dormé asked quietly, jarring Padmé from her internal monologue. It was if the woman knew her very thoughts and decided to ask such a question.
"Well, I didn't realize he was back until after my swim. I had been showering when he decided to do some laps himself and was barely able to escape without him seeing me", Padmé admitted.
Dormé stopped herself before she took a sip of her own wine and set the glass down. "You saw Vader without that ridiculous getup he wears all the time? What did he look like?" Of course, she would ask such questions.
"He looked muscular, far muscular than I realized. He had long hair and scars over his entire body", Padmé said as uninterestedly as possible, although she felt a slight tingle just mentioning what she saw. Damn him to all the hells.
"I figured he would be muscular, he's so damn big", Dormé whispered. "What did his face look like? Was it like the evil monster we've all assumed?"
Padmé cleared her throat. "I didn't actually get to see his face; I was a little busy trying to avoid him noticing me. I'm sure I'll find out soon enough and I'll hate him even more than I do now as he suggested I would." She didn't understand how that would be possible, she had never hated anyone so much in her life, it seemed like just seeing his face would merely have the ability to know who she was hating.
"Well, I imagine that you'll figure it out soon enough", Dormé muttered into her wine glass. "But at least if you saw him to have that good looking of a body, he may have a good looking face." Padmé's eyes shot up and her friend had the tiniest of a mischievous smirk on her face.
"I never said he was good looking, damn you, I said he was muscular", Padmé chuckled.
"Padmé, you and I both know that muscular means good looking", Dormé replied. "No woman has to be an expert at men to realize that."
"You would be the expert on me, now wouldn't you", Padmé retorted, still lightly chuckling. It felt so good to have a lighthearted discussion, it was nearly liberating.
"I am not an expert, I'm merely a connoisseur", Dormé defended. "Besides, you know I don't sleep around very much, I just like to go on dates, although I'm not certain how that'll work if there's one of these damned Death Troopers lingering about the dinner table."
Setting aside a pang of angst for her friend, Padmé perked up at her friends remark of the lethal looking guards. "Death Troopers?", she asked. "That sounds a little ominous. How on earth did you find out what they were called?"
Her friend shrugged. "While you were on your swim, I may have exited the premises on the east side. I was promptly spotted by one of them and escorted back inside, but I managed to have a short chat with him. He was really polite about it, and when I asked him about his armor, he just told me that it's what all Death Troopers wore", she said as if she popped out for a quick caff.
Well, at least Padmé knew how effective the guards were at guarding the perimeter from escapees. "Now there's a mystery solved, but I wonder what makes them so elite to be able to be assigned to Lord Vader's personal estate?"
"I'm not sure, but if I do that again, I'll ask. Again, he was really quite polite about it, which was surprising. I figured I would have been accosted and thrown in a dungeon", Dormé said.
Padmé took a sip of wine. "They must be under strict orders from Vader to treat us a certain way, which is nice I suppose. It would be much worse if our guards were vicious to us", Padmé remarked.
"Yes, indeed", Dormé said.
The pair finished their wine and decided to retire for the evening. There really wasn't much else they could do, nor were they dressed for any athletic activities. They made their way to the fifth floor and have one another hugs and kisses on the cheek before heading into their rooms.
Padmé flopped down on the bed and flipped on the holoprojector. There was some mindless program on that appeared to be a romance film, but Padmé was in no mood for anything involving romance. She quickly flipped to a news station and the reporter was again running a story on how the treasonous senators fled Coruscant, listing their names and to be on the lookout for them if anyone outside of the system encountered them. Padmé's name was again left off the list, in fact every night she had watched the program, there was no mention of her name at all.
It was odd, she had been a treasonous senator, one that blatantly defied two warnings from Vader before she began her clandestine activities, and then had been the cause of the other senators fleeing the planet. Why wasn't there a mention of her? Dammit it was confusing. She mindlessly continued to watch the program as it shifted to other topics, hoping to nod off from her earlier physical exertion, but sleep never came. She flipped off the holoprojector and doused the lights, again trying to fall asleep. After a while, she opened her eyes and looked at the chrono. An entire damned hour had passed, and she was still no closer to falling into the blissful state where her mind could leave the walls of the estate. Dammit.
Realizing she was still in her dress, she stripped it off and slipped on a nightgown and put on a robe that went down to her knees. She debated what she should do. There weren't many books in her possession, and she had read them all anyway. Then, she remembered that there was a library on the fourth floor. Maybe a good read would help her fall asleep.
She crept out of her room and down the hall towards the lift, momentarily pausing to look down the other wing, where the lair of the beast was. Had he retired for the night? She hoped so, the last thing that she wanted to have happen was run into him as that wouldn't help her fall asleep at all. Shaking off the thought, she went to the lift and went a floor down, feeling lazy that she didn't simply take the stairs. She wondered down the hallways, looking at the variety of the rooms. There were rooms for everything and anything, but she still couldn't find the library. Once she rounded the corner placing her at the rear of the estate, she found it.
There were double doors that reached to the top of the ceiling, signifying the importance of the room to Vader, making her wonder what the hell kind of library it really was. Padmé pushed one of the doors open and stepped inside, quietly closing the door behind her. The library was massive with the ceiling pushing up to the fifth floor. Rows and rows of countless books adorned the walls, with rolling ladders placed on each wall to be able to reach the top shelves. Padmé would have figured that the air would be quite stale, until she noticed a temperature and humidity controller on the wall. Whatever was in here, Vader wanted it to be preserved for all time.
Curious, she began walking along the walls, looking at the variety of books. They seemed to be arranged by category, versus alphabetically. They contained books that were in other languages, some she recognized, others she did not. There were fictional books, intergalactic law books, books on all manners of science and biology, various histories of worlds that she both new and others she didn't and many more categories. Almost too many to browse through. A person would have to know where each specific category of book was in order to find anything relevant to what they were looking for.
Along the far wall were books bound in leather that looked ancient. Curiosity got the better of Padmé, and she walked to it. Again, some of the languages she could recognize, others she did not, but one thing was for certain. These books appeared to be about the Force, both the Jedi and the Sith. What would Vader be doing with books on the Jedi? A particular book caught her eye. It was written in Mid-Basic, a language that she had studied as a girl. It was far older than the Galactic Standard Basic, which was formed about fourteen thousand years ago.
Padmé took out the massive book and hefted it. It had hundreds of cloth pages and looked older than she could possibly know. She went to sit on a chair, and then noticed something interesting. There was a book on lectern, open with half a page written. A quill with a small jar of ink sat next to it. She carefully set the book she was holding down on an end table in between a pair of wingback chairs and walked to the lectern. On closer examination, she didn't couldn't read any of the symbols written in the book but noticed that they were similar to other books that she had seen on the shelf.
Was Vader writing this book? If so, what about it required it to be written in a seemingly unknown language? She began flipping through the book and noticed that every few pages had a crudely inked picture, with small footnotes beneath them. Were these events that Vader had experienced? She flipped back to maybe another one hundred pages and froze when she saw a large arachnid, and below it the outline of what appeared to be a woman. The handwriting was different, as if Vader had been less patient when writing about whatever this was. She desperately wished that she could read the language to figure out what was going on in his mind. To understand the monster, the horrid creature that had taken her life from her.
"It's written in an ancient Sith language called ur-kittãt."
Padmé gasped and whirled around having frightened by the sudden appearance of the Sith Lord. "Must you sneak up on people like that!", she scolded. "Milord." She added as an afterthought.
Vader chuckled amusedly. "This is my estate. I go where I wish and speak to whomever I wish."
Of course, he does. Padmé briefly closed her eyes so she wouldn't roll them at Vader. She may be in hot water enough for being in here, even though Threepio said it was permissible. When her fear and anger subsided, her curiosity returned. "What's this about, Milord?"
Vader sat in one of the chairs. "This is probably the first time you've asked a question without being afraid. I'm impressed, Senator."
Padmé felt a sudden regret for even trying to have a conversation with Vader, the damned pig.
"In answer to your question, it's a journal of my experiences along the path of darkness. I've had so many, so I must chronologically enter them in case I need to refer back to them at any given time", he said.
"So, it's basically a diary then?", she asked. How cute. The mass murderer kept a diary.
"I suppose one could call it that, if they could actually read it", Vader said with a clear tone of annoyance which indicated to her that she was pressing her luck. Fine, maybe he'd kill her and she'd be out of her misery.
"What makes it so important that you have to write it in, whatever that language was called?", she asked, still anxious to get some perspective on him. The more perspective she obtained, the higher probability she could turn the tables on him.
"It's written in the ancient tongue of the Sith because there's only one other being in the galaxy that knows how to read it, and he has never shown the inclination to visit here. That and I can leave it out without having to fear that someone will be able to read it, Senator", he said with no small amount of smugness to his rough tone.
This time Padmé huffed and rolled her eyes. "Your droid did say I was allowed in here, Milord." Seriously, double standards were horrendously annoying.
"Indeed, and he was correct. What brings you in here at this hour, Senator? Can't sleep even after your swim earlier?", Vader asked. What? He had known she was there the entire time? Did he intend to have her see him and was she supposed to have looked at his face?
"Milord, I didn't realize that you had come in while I was showering. I promise I didn't see your face", she said hurriedly.
"I honestly didn't sense your presence until you were leaving. I was more distracted than I normally am", he growled. "My time away didn't go as well as I had planned, and those cursed friends of yours managed to escape."
Good! She hoped they all escaped, every last one of them, just so they could begin to terrorize Imperial installations and personnel. Maybe blow up a capital ship or two. "I'm sorry to hear that, Milord. I hope your next mission is successful", Padmé said sweetly.
"Ha!", he barked. "You are many things, Senator, but being able to pretend about my aspirations isn't one of them. Before you say anything else, I am not here to quarrel with you. I had sensed you moving about and merely wanted to check on you."
Okay, that wasn't something she expected. That was sweet, how could a Sith Lord be sweet? "I appreciate your concern, Milord, but I'm fine", she said. "I apologize for being disingenuous about your future success." What? Did she really apologize to that thing? The time away from normal people, aside from Dormé, must be really getting to her.
Vader waived her apology off. "It's of no concern. So, did you enjoy what you saw?"
That brought back a memory of Anakin saying something eerily similar when she first met him and it made her feel entirely confused. She lumped it up attractive looking men being overly confident in their abilities to arouse the opposite sex. "I found you to be in excellent physical fitness, if that's what you are asking", she replied, unwilling to give him anymore than that.
The damned Sith Lord chuckled again and stood up. "I think we both know that you liked what you saw, Senator", he said as he slowly walked to her. She could feel her pulse increasing and her knees slightly trembling. How he could always have this effect on her was infuriating. "There's no use in denying it, I could feel your desire for me." He brushed a lock of hair behind her ear. "And I enjoyed it", he whispered.
Oh gods, just please someone stop this. "I'm sure you did, you enjoy things that inflate your ego", she replied as she took a step back but was blocked by a bookshelf, unable to retreat any further.
"My ego has nothing to do with it. However, my attraction to you does", he mumbled as he pressed his lips to her forehead. She felt his full lips brushing over her skin and could hear him sniffing her hair.
"Why me?", she whispered. "Surely, there are thousands of other women that you could be with. So why me?"
"You're a desirable woman, a very desirable woman", he hissed slightly. Possibly annoyed at having to explain his position. "When two people desire one another, it's only natural that fate brings them together." Fate. The same fate that condemned her to live in this beautiful prison forever.
"Maybe it was fate", she admitted. "But possibly it was just a random meeting that has led to something else." She sucked in a breath as she felt him undo the tie to her robe with one hand, just to slip both around her waist. "Maybe a good random event." Force, could she not control her mouth?
"Senator", Vader began. "That remark is somewhat surprising coming from you." His voice was becoming less harsh and more sensual. It made her beath shallow and her body ache as he rubbed her back slowly with his hands. It felt divine, like there was electricity crackling up and down her bag, making the skin extra sensitive. "Was viewing my body that much of an alluring experience for you?"
"It was", she breathed. "That and every time you touch me. I still hate you, but at the same time, I can't get enough of you." At least she had the presence of mind to say that she hated him. Not doing so would've been a terrible mistake, he didn't need to think that he had her body and her mind.
Vader paused his rubbing for a moment. "Maybe then it's best if we don't", he muttered as he tried to pull back.
"No!", she exclaimed as she grabbed his robes. "You already know that I hate you, there's no reason why we can't take this a little further." Damn, she was in need. She wasn't certain she could go all the way with him, at least maybe not tonight, but she craved his touch after being absent from it for a week.
Apparently, that was all the encouragement he needed. He removed his left hand from her waist and used it to pull her head back by her hair as he roughly kissed her. Her body exploded in warmth and she screamed into his mouth at the rough touch. His tongue dueled with hers and his hand roamed her back, rubbing her roughly. The bookshelves squeaked from movement as they made out in an unbridled frenzy, with Vader breaking just long enough to kiss her cheeks or bit at her neck, just to have his lips return to hers again.
Padmé lost all track of time as she willingly gave into her own lust. She could feel her lips begin to bruise from the amount of force that they were using. She whimpered as she felt the hand in her hair tighten, the stimulation only increasing the amount of pleasure that was firing through her brain. At this moment, she didn't care if he was a monster, or that he had imprisoned her, at this moment she was a woman in need, and he was the man that could fulfill it.
Again, he wasn't entirely overt with her. He didn't fondle her breasts or her ass, he simply rubbed her back with his right hand while keeping her head pulled back with his left. The taste of his lips and tongue was marvelous, his technique so much more advanced than hers, but he didn't seem to mind. No, if anything he seemed to be becoming even more aroused at her lack of experience, her clumsy kisses. Even with this, she felt like they were entirely compatible. Like he was someone that knew how her body would react, how her mouth would move with every kiss. He was either damned intuitive or simply lucky at being able to know how to act like they had been doing this for years.
When they finally broke, he stepped back a half a pace, both of them absolutely breathless from their assault on one another's lips. She could still see the fire in his eyes, shinning in the black abyss of his face. Oh, how she wished she had seen his face when he was swimming.
"Something's changing inside of me that I don't know how to explain", she whispered, her voice cracking. "You're such a monster, but I can't find enough hatred in my heart to be revolted by you entirely." It was ineffable, simply the most confounding feeling that she had ever felt.
Vader nodded. "I understand what you're saying", he replied, as if to keep her from running off.
"Would you really kill me, even if you had to?", Padmé asked.
"You should know the answer after I kissed you like that", Vader said as he took another half step back, as if offended by her question.
That floored Padmé. The other times that he said he wouldn't kill her; it was simply because she pleased him. "I hear what you're saying, but I need you to answer the question with a yes or no", she pleaded. She heard him swallow as he stood with his chest still heaving.
"No", he replied simply.
She felt the corners of her mouth pull up ever so slightly at the response. Such a morbid question was met with a declaration that was romantic to her, one that made her heart just a little softer. She still hated him, but not with her entire heart, just most of it.
"Just don't push me", he growled.
It was Padmé's turn to chuckle. "Milord, you know I'm incapable of promising a thing like that, we're still enemies after all", she said as she shook her head at the macabre conversation.
"I suppose we are", he said as he turned to leave. "Get some sleep."
She said nothing in response, her brain still overloaded with dopamine from their passionate kisses.
Once she left, she groaned at the admission she had made. He wasn't supposed to think that there was any type of emotion for him but hatred and revulsion. That's not to say she felt fondly towards him, she didn't. There was just this feeling of something that she couldn't explain, something that was beyond physical lust.
Shaking her head in frustration, she picked up the book that she had set down earlier and placed it back on the shelf, intending to come back some other time to read through it. All that she wanted to do now was go back to her room and lay back down in bed. The entirely hot kissing session had drained her physically and emotionally, so she would most certainly be able to slip into the blissful state of sleep if she was lucky.
When she got back to her room, she flopped face first on the bed, her mind still tangled with conflicting thoughts of her capture. If he said that he wouldn't kill her, maybe he would eventually let her leave this prison. No, it was best not to think of such things. There was no use getting her hopes up just to have them dashed if she was still here years from now. She crawled underneath the covers and tried to quiet her mind.
But she couldn't. Her thoughts began drifting down various rabbit holes. One being that of the last, man she had kissed so passionately. Anakin had been similarly aggressive with his kisses, similarly patient with her inexperience. But the trouble was, she couldn't for the life of her remember what his lips tasted like, and even the sound of his voice seemed to be fading from her rapidly. She tried to focus on him entirely, trying to pull some of the memories from the deep recesses of her brain. Then, she found one. The moment that he turned to her after killing the spiders, his eyes had looked like they were burning, but were quickly doused back to his normal color. Then after he had cut her free, she remembered when she kissed him deeply. She smiled that she had been able to pull the memory from her mind, even though it had happened three years prior, but for some reason she felt disturbed.
Was it guilt that she was feeling? Guilt that she had sworn that she would never want another man again? Of course, she had a man, another senator, but he was a sniveling coward that had broomed her once they had fucked, but Vader was not a sniveling coward. He was a man, maybe not as much of a man that Anakin was, but he was still a very powerful man. Someone that she could see giving herself completely to, regardless of her feelings for him. Maybe that did make her feel guilty, even a small sense of betrayal towards Anakin, but he was gone. He had been gone. If he wanted fidelity from her then he should have stayed in the picture.
Frustrated again, she willed her brain to stop thinking about either of the confounding men, so she could go to sleep. It wasn't easy.
…
His eyes. Padmé bolted upright from her bed, her heart pounding in her chest. Anakin's eyes. She had thought about them last night, how they had briefly appeared to be scorching before they returned to their normal color. The more she thought about it, the more they appeared to be like Vader's eyes. She had always been curious if Anakin was a Sith, but now her thoughts were beginning to lead her to thinking she was right. No, it couldn't be. He was too damned kind to her, he never threatened to take her life, even in passing. In fact, he had saved her life not once, but four times that night. Each time proving his strength and power in the Force, each time being someone that she knew she would be safe with.
Vader had said that there was only one other being that could read the strange language that was in his journal. She surmised that person was Emperor Palpatine, so if Anakin had been a Sith, logic would dictate that he would have been able to read the same language as well. Either he wasn't a Sith, or he had been one and was dead. She groaned and fell back onto her pillows, cursing herself for many of the decisions that she had made since she joined the Senate. One of which was going to Kashyyyk and the other was foolishly joining Bail's Rebellion.
Speaking of which, she wondered which senator hadn't been able to escape Vader's clutches while the rest had fled. Certainly it wasn't her that he had been referring to, so it could have been any one of them besides Bail, since he was the first that had knowledge of their discovery. Whoever it was, they were likely dead or wishing that they were dead. Vader never appeared to be the type that would allow such a person to live after being confirmed as a traitor to the Empire, but there was nothing she could do about that.
Climbing out of bed, she stretched her muscles and when she yawned, she felt the slight pressure from her lips still recovering from kissing Lord Vader like he was about to leave forever. She groaned at the memory, not wanting to become aroused again so early in the morning. There were much better things she could occupy her mind with, she told herself. More important things, like trying to figure out what to eat or what dress she should wear for the day. Those things were necessities, being turned on was not.
Needing to get some light into the room, she threw open the drapes and looked out into the courtyard, admiring the beauty of the various plants and trees as they glistened in the morning dew. Sometimes since she had been brought to Vader's estate, she forgot she was still on Coruscant. While Not even speeders flew overhead, and the nearby ocean provided plenty of ambient noise to make her feel comforted due to the lack of familiar hustle and bustle of the sprawling cities. She looked over to the fountain and paused. Vader was sitting there, staring into the fountain much as she had been. His shoulders were hunched over and there was a slight slope to his back. He had never appeared this way before and Padmé couldn't for the life of her figure out why he was doing so now.
In a flash, she threw her robe on and grabbed her slippers and headed down the hall to the lift to head outside. She hurried down the grand hallway to the arched glass double doors that led to the courtyard, hoping that he hadn't moved on with his day. Fortunately, he was still sitting there in the same position that he had been. Being extra careful, she silently crept up to him.
"It's unwise to sneak up on a Sith Lord, Senator", he growled.
Well, there went the idea that she could get a side view of him while he was in that state. She expected his back to appear ramrod straight and his shoulders to be thrown back now that he knew he was being watched, but he stayed slightly hunched over.
"I figured it would be, but I also figured it would be worth the chance", she replied, hoping to strike up a conversation.
"The chance for what?", he asked harshly. Shit, shit, shit, she was making him angry.
"The chance to see why you looked upset. I've never seen you hunch over like that", she said nervously. Maybe she should just go back inside, it wasn't worth risking him fly into a blind rage at her daring to speak to him normally.
"Why Senator, that would imply that you somewhat care about me", he said wryly. "Come, sit with me." He patted the spot next to him and she rounded the bench and sat down, afraid to look at him.
"So, what has you upset?", Padmé asked, completely sidestepping his implication that she cared about him. She didn't. She was merely curious as to why the man she hated looked like he'd just lost a boxing match with a damned rancor.
Vader didn't respond for a moment. He just kept his hood pointed at the fountain, unable or unwilling to answer, for the time being at least. "I'm just lost in thought about last night", he admitted. "I wasn't certain how you'd feel about it once you woke up."
"Milord, that would imply that you somewhat care about me", she joked. "But we know that isn't the case."
She was jolted when he swore in some foreign language that she had never heard of and bolted up. "Senator, I may not be able to kill you, but you certainly make me want to at times. The things you say to intentionally provoke me would normally make me fly into a blind rage. I would kill anyone else that utters the things that you do. I would slaughter any other person that dared to betray their oaths to the Empire, but you, for some reason that confounds me, you're different!", he yelled at her. "Yes, there may be a part of me that desires you. There may even be a part of me that still cares about you, but you don't get the right to make assumptions about what I feel, not in the slightest."
Padmé shot to her feet. "Anyone like you would have been executed by the Republic if they had known your true intentions to overthrow the government after you took control of the military to defeat the CIS. Anyone like you that said anything remotely close to what you've said to me would never have been allowed to touch my lips, let alone my body. But for some reason, there is a small part of me that cares about you, even though I still hate you. Do you hear me? I still hate you!", she screamed. "I hate everything that you stand for, everything that you've done, everything that you're capable of. I also hate the fact that you have me here as a glorified prisoner that you can stick your tongue into whenever you're in the mood. I hate that I care about you!"
Vader growled and grabbed the front of her robe. "I will not be spoken to like that by a self admitted traitor, or anyone for that matter! I'm a gods damned Sith Lord, not some whipped pup. Yes, I do things that are evil, I even enjoy most of them, but some I am commanded to do! I have a master, one that I loath more than you loath me, so don't complain to me about being a prisoner here, when I've been a prisoner my entire life! You may think you know everything there is to know about me, but in reality, you know nothing! Nothing at all. Hell, the gods damned Death Troopers that roam these premises and that are undoubtedly listening to every fucking word we're screaming probably know more about me than you do!", he roared.
The hand that clenched Padmé's robes shook in anger. Padmé could sense hurt, an immense amount of hurt from him. Not just hurt that she may have caused, but years of pain that had reached a boiling point. He was right, there was something more than she knew that was inflicting pain to him. Enough pain to almost make her anger fall, but it didn't.
"If I don't know any of those things, it's because you don't tell me. You say cryptic things like I would hate you more if I saw your face, yet you don't afford me the opportunity! Maybe I would hate you more, but maybe I wouldn't. Maybe I would just see that you're some damned human that lives in the shadows because you're told to by your master. Speaking of which, you are right about something. I hate your master more than I hate you, by any stretch of imagination. That's something that we fucking have in common! We also care for one another in this sick and twisted game that we're playing. So why don't you do it, Lord Vader, why don't you take the gods damned hood off and finally let me see who the fuck I've been kissing!", Padmé screamed as she felt capillaries in her eyes burst. Her voice was getting horse and her hands were balled up into fists.
"I can't show you. Not yet", Vader said as he released her.
Padmé screamed as she began punching his chest in outrage. Outrage at him, at her situation, at everything. Over a week locked up in Vader's estate and she was already losing her mind. She had only interacted with him the first day he was here and the night before, but he was still driving her stark crazy.
Vader did nothing, he just stood there while she beat her fists into him. She figured that his muscles were so damned hard he probably didn't even feel anything at all.
After a minute, her punches slowed to a stop. She stood there shaking as her rage bled off into exhaustion, then to fear. Vader loomed over her, completely motionless and she was terrified at what he would do to her in response. He may not kill her, but she knew that there were undoubtedly ways for him to inflict an immense amount of pain on her.
"This is why I haven't shown you my face", he hissed.
With that, he walked around her and back inside of his estate, leaving Padmé confused and most of all, hurting that she had become so enraged at him.
Wait, what in the hell did he mean when he said he still cared about her?
Shit!