Here's some fluff on a rainy Sunday! Oh and as always - no editing just vibes*~
He's the one that brings it up at the end of a text he sends her about work.
The Moon Dust Drive In.
Noah is obsessed with idea and Eli mentions his interest after never having them in Italy. He knows his son is going stir crazy with being locked in for so long and she knows it's the same with her own child. He asks her in a text pretty outright with no explanation or expectations really.
"Drive In outside Jersey this weekend? Fri or Sat you and Noah pick"
She feels her heart drop but then as soon as she reads her sons name it warms at the mention. He tries to include them both whenever he is off and wants to make plans for Eli. He's never parented alone and not with a young teen in a city he no longer knows during a world disaster so he leans on her for her advise and parenting expertise as best as she knows, and he knows. He's thankful for it and most of all for her at this time.
He also knows they could use the distractions, both of them and their sons. Plus she is one of his only friends in the city now. Fin is nearly a newly wed and his children have moved on and around many times over. There isn't much linking him outside of the job other than her, which is big enough to make him feel totally overwhelmed by this side of them both.
The drive out of the city they talk about soccer, school and whatever clip she can hear the boys watching from the back seat fills the watches as Elliots eyes look in the mirror back at their boys quickly as his eyes resume back to the road.
In so many ways he is exactly what she remembers, it's just the who that is so different. The core of what he is: a good man, a loving and protective father, a dedicated detective -its all there. It is completely him and what she's always known and remembered of him even in times when all she could feel in her heart for him was hate and remorse.
It's the who he is now that stirs her up a little. There were times over the years she would try and envision him so many years after they left each others lives. Her assumptions and wildest thoughts could never have conjured this version of him. So raw and so honest. His words are few but so blunt and filled with hope sometimes that it leaves her left speechless. She is the one now that doesn't know what to say. It is complicated but now its really not.
He catches her looking at him and smiles out the corner of his eyes at her."Have we ever seen a movie together ever?" He asks quietly, genuinely curious and not shakes her head and smirks at him before responding, "And to think its going to be a movie about talking cars.." she looks over at him with soft eyes and a playful look that he can't get enough of.
"They are actually robots and they don't talk, Mom. they speak in code and are assassins," Noah says rather matter of factly as his eyes stay on Eli's phone screen held out between them.
"I can't wait," Elliot says smiling back at her.
Once they get there the boys can't wait to unload their chairs and blankets and set up in front of his truck.
Noah asks to go to the snack bar before leaving the car. The sky is just now getting dark and Olivia goes to get up out of her seat and grab her purse.
"No I'll go too, I'm going to bring my ball.." Eli says as he opens the door quickly and goes to open the trunk.
Olivia looks at Elliot with a concerned look but he nods giving her a silent assurance that his son is old enough to be responsible enough to look out for her son. She knows she has to give him a little freedom to be his own little person and Elliot nods at her before looking back at them.
"No playing near any of the cars, masks on now...get us a popcorn and two pops with whatever you guys want.." she watches Elliot go into his eyes jacket breast pocket and take out cash for them both.
This is the first time they've been alone in a long time in a car. What they don't bring up at first is the one thing she knows sits heavy between them.
The letter.
It becomes a silent truce they form of the things they cannot speak outwardly but feel so deeply and mutually in silence. In long glances and awkward pauses. What they do is talk about is family, work when it bleeds over into the conversation but never about the past. It's something he knows hurts her and has healed over into thick scars.
But they have family now and are trying to move onward and heal for them more than anything. Plus Noah has taken to Eli as the cool and slightly older teen.
Luckily Eli no stranger to siblings enjoys being the older one in this instance. He suggests to Noah they bring chairs because it's 'going to be lame as hell' watching a movie with their parents.
"My dad never stops asking questions like pay attention to the shitty movie and.." The language and attitude makes Noah laugh only egging him on more.
"Eli.." Elliot warns once at the swearing.
"At least yours pretends to pay attention all my mom does it sleep and those loud snores.." Noah opens his mouth and closes his eyes mimicking and also embarrassing her.
"Noah..." now it's her turn.
The kids are outside with snacks and blankets after dropping off their own snacks in the car.
"Really? Coffee? My kid doesn't even drink pop…" She says looking over trying not to smile at her son outside on a lawn chair chatting and taking sips of the coffee that Eli ordered for them.
"Eli grew up on espresso, plus how else are they going to stay up for a triple feature? He will be okay, mom…I promise," He smiles and casually pats her thigh.
She ignores the feeling that brews in her stomach before he reaches in the back and pulls out a blanket before placing it over her lap and dropping across his loosely.
"Snoring huh?" He asks taking a handful of popcorn and smiling at her lips. Watching the bashful and beautiful grin appear that she's trying so hard to fight.
This is flirting she thinks.
"Don't start, Stabler.." now she knows it's flirting on her part but with him she tries not reading into it too deeply.
"It's okay I snore too, you won't have to worry about keeping me up, Cap.." okay so this is absolutely flirting and she blushes at what he's insinuating and how he loves calling her that now outside of work settings when its just them. He is insinuating the two of them in a bed. sleeping together, sharing a bed and pillows and a blanket and body heat in the dead of night. She looks down at her body now with a warm blanket across them, his hand disappears under and rests on her jean covered thigh.
"I ever tell you how I'm terrified of scary movies?" He is trying to be serious but she can see the mischief in his eyes and a light she never got the chance to see during their last lifetime before this one that they shared together.
She shakes her head and can't help but feel the warmth of his hand radiating against her body.
"Is that what this is?" She whispers as she looks over quickly, at the back of their sons heads on the chairs in front of them covered in blankets and candy everywhere.
"Are you not scared of these movies?" He looks over at the screen. A giant robotic creature is eating an entire school bus filled with people before burning fire across a bridge.
"You don't need an excuse to get to first base.." She smiles. "And no I actually like scary movies, they are relaxing" he is the one smiling now until she starts to feel his hand move.
She feels him tighten his grip around the inside of her thigh and settle in the warm fleshy grove there. It's not anything sexual but it's an extremely personal gesture for him to being closeness and touching without any desperation or sadness attached to it. They have never done that.
He's doing it because she comforts him, and he wants to comfort her. She makes him feel good and she only knows that because it's how he feels to her too. He's doing it not just because he wants to but now because he can and he needs to.
She can feel the air change the minute he goes to talk and break the quick silence between them both.
"You read the part at the end of that letter right?" He says randomly as he turns his head to face hers but not letting his hand go from the warmth of her inner thigh.
It shocks her because they don't do this. None of it. But she has nowhere to run and they have both nowhere to go. They are out of distractions. She could feel this coming.
The end of the letter is what made her still when she read it alone a year ago. She remembers her tears falling over her lips and sliding off her chin, and how warm the tears felt down her cold cheeks in the winter air.
It was a letter meant for her eyes only. The speech he would never share or speak out loud to anyone but wanted her to finally know the importance she has had on his life and told her how he admired her bravery and was so compelled to try and be a better man, detective and human because of her. That she never left his mind not for a single day in his absence and hasn't stopped praying for her safety for a single night since they parted God must have chosen her to fulfil a special destiny that has given her grace, strength and dedication beyond measure. The end of the letter is what did it for her. Not his apology or his appreciation for who she is as a detective but more so her feelings as a woman.
It was simple.
I love you.
She looks over at him and wants to close her eyes. His gaze and the heat of his palm is scorching holes through her. "Yes I read the entire thing.." she whispers out.
"What did you think about the end?" He asks softly. He seems so unsure of himself and worried. He's speaking so, so softly and slowly to her. She knows what he's asking and all she can give him is her honesty.
"I loved it," she whispers as tears threaten to escape her.
"It or me?" He whispers back lifting his hand from her thigh and moving to the back of her neck, squeezing it so gently.
"Do I need to spell it out for you like this movie?" She laughs as a tear escapes the corner of her eyes like the laugh from her throat.
She feels like her heart could burst.
"I love you..I mean it. I always have and I know I always will.. just thought you should know that," he says smiling, his own eyes look red and watery and he keeps looking down at her lips.
She knows he won't kiss her here even if their kids are outside the car busy with the movie. But for the first time in their lives together she can feel it's there. The opportunity and promise of a kiss. That he wants to do it and she really, really wants him to do it.
Maybe not now but soon. When the opportunity is right just like her own mouth will speak those three words back to him too. She feels it in her heart and knows he feels it too.