Author's Note: Ha ha. It's been a hot minute, hasn't it? Well um. If any of you are still reading. Enjoy!
(+ the song used is still Perfect Christmas by S Club 7)
Gustavo had to squint upon arriving on set. The whole set was a piercing white, from white lights and white props – even the few Christmas trees around were covered in fake snow. And all four members of Big Time Rush and all four members of his girl group – which he really hoped would've had a name by now – were dressed from head to toe in the color. "Alright," his voice echoed, causing all eight of the young adults to jump "this is supposed to be Christmas, let's try and look jolly!"
They were sat on white stools in a semi circle, each sat with whomever they shared their vocal part with. Upon his direction, on one end, both James and Delia flashed super large, super charming, super fake smiles. Next to them sat Logan, who'd merely straightened up, and Quinn, who shifted her slight lean from the right side to the left. Auden and Kendall looked to each other with confused expressions, Gustavo overhearing Kendall mutter "What does that even mean?", and on the other end, Lainey and Carlos sat happily smiling – and actually seemed genuinely happy, unlike the smiles he'd gotten on the other end.
"Look at Lainey and Carlos, act like that!" he directed.
Auden asked "Can I be Carlos? I want a helmet."
As Quinn nodded eagerly at Auden's comment, Logan interjected "The song is kind of sad though, isn't that sending a mixed message?"
"I don't care what kind of message it sends," Gustavo explained "So long as we get this video done in time for the Holidays!"
Kelly then stepped in behind Gustavo, her voice kinder as she reminded "And the girls haven't ever done a music video, so boys, we'd appreciate it if you kept your shenanigans to a minimum."
There was a collective "Awww" from the boys, while Lainey and Kelly both shook their heads in unison.
They spent four hours that morning filming footage, and while it had all gone off fairly smoothly – a fact which had surprised everyone involved – upon looking over what they had gotten filmed that day, Gustavo angrily cried "I can't use any of this!"
"What's the matter?" Kelly inquired, leaning over his shoulder to look at the shots they'd taken.
"Look at them!" he cried, tossing his hand not to the performers on the video, but rather at the young group of eight who'd just changed out of their wardrobe "They have no chemistry at all! It's a Christmas love song, and I don't think any of you even like each other!"
Quinn rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest as she replied "Well that's probably because you put James and Delia together and they're the two fakest people ever manufactured."
A hand flying over her chest, Delia cooed "That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me."
"It's not just the good looking robots. You're just as guilty!" Gustavo thrust a finger in Quinn's face, which she swatted away. "Not only did you not even look at Logan the whole time, but it doesn't even seem like you're friends with the girls!"
Auden interjected "Well it's not like we're four hockey players from Minnesota who were best friends and all happened to be good singers. We were assembled. It's stupid to think that we'd automatically like each other. In fact, I don't think Delia actually likes anyone at all." Delia merely smiled and nodded.
Lainey then spoke up "It's not like we've even really had time to get to know each other. Ever since we landed in LA it's been nothing but rehearsals and press etiquette classes and talking to focus groups about a name…"
"And how exactly is that whole name thing coming?" Auden asked Gustavo, her obvious annoyance with the fact was becoming more and more of a bother every day.
"Maybe," Kelly interrupted, "The girls just need some time to get to know each other better."
Gustavo sighed. "Okay, fine. You have the rest of the day off, since you weren't going to give me any useable footage today anyway. But when you come back tomorrow you better be willing to at least pretend like you enjoy each other's company!"
"So, since the girls are gone," Kendall questioned, raising an eyebrow, "does that mean we're done for the day, too?"
"Cause I'd also like to get to know the girls better, if you know what I mean." James chuckled softly, nudging Kendall's elbow with his own to drive his point harder.
"Yes! Fine! Whatever!" Gustavo cried, throwing the various sheets of paper he had in his hands in the air. "We wasted an entire day of shooting anyway!"
And that was how the group of eight twenty-somethings ended up in the girls' apartment, sitting on the floor in a circle with three bottles of tequila in the middle. "So everyone knows how to play?" Auden clarified.
"Yep! Someone says something they've never done, and if you have done it, you take a drink!" Carlos chirped.
Next to Carlos sat James, and next to him, Delia, followed by Auden, Kendall, Logan, Quinn and Lainey, who sat on Carlos' other side.
"Alright since it was my idea, I'll go first." Auden decided, "Let's start out easy. Never have I ever walked out of a movie theatre because I didn't like the movie."
At this, Quinn took a shot. "Really?" she asked, eyeing everyone else in the circle. "I'm the only one?"
Kendall then spoke "Never have I ever had a crush on a friend's parent."
Delia and Carlos both took a shot.
Eyes glaring at Auden, Logan stated "Never have I ever played a drinking game while under the legal drinking age."
Auden shouted "AT ME NEXT TIME MITCHELL" before taking a shot, as did Kendall and Carlos.
Quinn, shot to her lips, mused "You know I'm younger than she is, right?" before taking it. She took a moment to let it settle before sharing "Never have I ever sent food back at a restaurant when they got my order wrong." Delia, Carlos, Logan and James all took a shot.
On Lainey's turn, she said "Never have I ever cheated on a test." Everyone but Logan and Delia took a drink.
Carlos thought for a moment before taking his turn. "Never have I ever…kissed someone on the first date." Kendall, James, Logan, Auden and Quinn all took a shot.
After finishing his shot, James raised his finger in the air. "Okay but never have I ever had sex on the first date."
Auden was the only one to take a shot, causing her to then cry out "You bunch of party poopers!"
There was a slight smirk on Delia's face, but it fell quickly as she took her turn "Never have I ever looked through someone else's phone." This caused Auden, Quinn, Kendall and Logan to all take a shot.
Coming back to Auden, she thought for a moment, deciding to spice things up a little "Never have I ever worn someone else's underwear." Quinn and Logan both took a shot.
Kendall thought for a moment, before deciding on. "Never have I ever played this game with girls before." Auden, Delia, Lainey and Quinn all did a shot.
On Logan's turn, he said "Never have I ever peed in a pool." Which caused Kendall, Carlos, Quinn and Auden to all take a shot.
Thinking for a moment, Quinn decided on "Never have I ever had sexual thoughts about someone in this room." To her surprise, everyone took a drink.
Lainey thought for a moment, before stating "Never have I ever sent nudes." Kendall, James, Auden and Quinn all took a shot.
"Never have I ever had sex." Carlos smirked, knowing he was the only member of Big Time Rush who hadn't. He watched gleefully as his friends took another shot.
Eyes narrowing, Logan stated "Delia didn't take a drink."
"You're correct." She stated simply, shrugging, while keeping her eyes fixated on the carpet.
Logan wasn't buying it. "Bullshit."
Her eyes still never coming off of the floor, she replied, fairly calmly "Not that whether I have or not is any of your business, but I haven't."
"But you have had sexual feelings about someone in this room…" Kendall tried to egg her on.
She did finally break her gaze with the carpet to look Kendall in the eye "I'm sure you're well aware of the fact that someone is capable of sexual feelings without having had sex. I was a teenager when Big Time Rush debuted and I certainly thought Logan was the cute one and I may have had a wandering thought or two of him in my youth, but that does not at all correlate with my sex life."
Feeling semi-flustered, Logan questioned "You thought I was the cute one?"
With a sickeningly sweet smile and tone, she replied "I did. But are any of us proud of who we were at sixteen?"
"YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Logan got ROASTED!" Auden cried.
Delia shifted uncomfortably as she suggested "Let's get back to the game, shall we? I believe it was James' turn…"
Having been distracted by the conversation at hand, James blurted out the first thing that came to his mind which was "Never have I ever taken it up the ass!"
This earned him a lot of confused looks "Dude," Carlos shook his head, "Why was that the first thing that came to you?"
"Well I haven't!" he argued. "Now drink up you heathens!"
Auden and Kendall both took a shot.
"Kendall what the fuck…" Logan muttered.
Eyes wide, James cried "Wait wait wait, I know it wasn't Lucy - and it sure doesn't sound like Jo."
"I have a whole secret sex life you know nothing about…" was Kendall's vague response.
The game continued for a few more rounds before they decided to take a short snack break, ultimately deciding that Truth or Dare was the better game for once everyone was fed. Delia was in the girls' kitchen putting the shot glasses in the dishwasher when Lainey stepped in. "Hey, are you okay?"
Her reaction time was a little slow due to the shots she'd taken, but she did manage to turn around fairly easily and respond. "Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"
Walking closer to the redhead, Lainey ran a hand through her thick black hair as she explained "Well, you know, everyone was ganging up on you for being a virgin."
There was a stiff moment of silence, before Delia admitted "I wasn't entirely thrilled with the reception. Though that's mostly because my virginity is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to my romantic past-"
One of Delia's few rare moments of something resembling humanity was cut off by the sound of Auden screaming "WHERE ARE THE FUCKING MARSHMALLOWS?!"
And suddenly it was as if Lainey had never been talking to Delia in the first place, as her voice was once again sickeningly sweet as she called back "Here in the kitchen! May I inquire as to what you need them for?"
Auden came charging into the kitchen, with Kendall on her heels "This bitchass boybander thinks he can fit more marshmallows in his mouth at once than I can which is clearly ridiculous."
Kendall then spun Auden around, hands on her shoulders and his face so close she could taste the tequila from his breath as he quipped "Denial isn't just a river in Egypt, Cassleman." He held one of his arms out in Delia's direction, and the redhead happily placed the bag in his grasp. "You're going to eat those words. And significantly less marshmallows than I can."
"Bring it on." Auden threatened.
Lainey and Delia both decided to leave the room before everything was a sticky marshmallow mess.
They two ladies reentered the living room, Delia with a large porcelain bowl of popcorn in her hands, as they opted to sit on the furniture this time, rather than on a circle on the floor.
"So how are we doing this?" Quinn asked, moving to take a seat on the couch, grabbing a small handful of popcorn in the process.
"We can just sort of go around in a circle again and whoever's turn it is can ask whoever they want whether it's truth or dare?" Carlos suggested.
With a shrug, Quinn replied. "Works for me." Eyes darting to Lainey, she asked "You wanna start us off?"
"Sure." Lainey smiled. "Um, Carlos, truth or dare?"
"Dare!" the boy replied almost immediately, slapping his helmet onto his head.
"I dare you to…" she thought for a moment, eyes glancing around the room for inspiration, before deciding "Lick the inside of your shoe."
Carlos smiled at her "Really? That's all? No problem!". He did as he was dared, causing Lainey to wrinkle her nose up in disgust.
As Delia was sitting next to Lainey, she turned and asked "Lainey, truth or dare?"
"Truth." She smiled.
"If you were stuck on a desert island," Delia started, "And you were stranded with only one of the people in this room, who would you want it to be?"
Lainey bit down on her lip, before replying "I mean, Logan's really smart, right? I'm sure he'd be pretty useful in that kind of situation."
"Well thanks." Logan smiled. Realizing it was his turn, he turned to Quinn. "Quinn. Truth or dare?"
"Truth."
"Since you never had any sexual thoughts about us, which member of Big Time Rush would you say is the 'cute' one?"
Quinn shrugged. "When I was in high school, most of my friends had a crush on Kendall."
"Hooooo Kendall!" Carlos grinned excitedly. He then glanced around, looking for this friend. "Kendall? Where did he go?"
Delia explained "He and Auden were putting marshmallows in their mouths just a moment ago."
Carlos gave a small happy shrug.
As James had been sitting next to Logan, he asked "Delia, truth or dare?"
"Truth."
"Okay, so," he shifted in his seat, "How come you thought Logan was the cute one and not me?"
Delia stared back at him, puzzled. "I'm not entirely sure how you expect me to answer that. I suppose he seemed more boyish and accessible?"
"But now that you're like, an adult, and you've seen us in real life, I'm hotter, right?" James questioned.
Quinn threw a pillow at him. "You're only allowed to ask one question! Wait until your next turn!"
Carlos looked at the tallest girl, grinning. "Lainey! Truth or dare!"
"Truth again, I guess?"
"Do you believe in love at first sight?"
Lainey glanced down for a moment, running a hand through her hair once more before admitting. "I used to? But I don't know if I believe it the way I used to. Like, you can definitely see a person and want to get to know them right away. I guess I believe in like...a spark at first sight? And if that spark is mutual, then maybe it can turn into love."
It was then Quin's turn, and even though she hadn't said anything to Delia about the whole situation yet, she was nothing if not a girl who lived for the drama. "Logan, truth or dare?"
"Truth." He shrugged.
Her eyes narrowing, she asked "Why did you make such a big deal about Delia being a virgin?"
Logan started stuttering and sputtering out random syllables in shock. "Ah, ba, well, I mean, that is, I guess, I don't…I guess she just didn't seem like the type of girl to wait to me?"
"And there's a type of girl who waits?" Quinn pressed, raising an eyebrow.
Logan threw his hands up in defense. "Hey, what happened to the one question at a time rule?"
"It's my turn." Lainey reminded him. "And either you answer her truthfully, or I'll dare you to."
"It's not like that!" Logan cried. "I guess that maybe I assumed that because she's basically the female James she's probably slept around a lot like he has!"
"But she's not the female me because I know I'm the cute one!" James argued, angrily pointing in Delia's direction.
Logan turned to face James now, questioning, "Is that really the argument you want to have right now?"
As Delia attempted to swat James' arm down, as he was still angrily pointing, Lainey mused out loud "Maybe these games weren't such a good idea…any of you guys want to just watch a movie?"
The tension in the room was undoubtedly still there as Logan slid a DVD into the player, but as the opening scrawl of Little Shop of Horrors came on the screen, the whole mood of the room mellowed. Quinn had actually never seen the film before, and it was an absolute favorite of everyone else.
Delia, Lainey and Carlos immediately began singing as Crystal, Chiffron and Ronnette out of habit. Quinn hushed them and reminded them she hadn't seen the movie before, to which the three responded by getting up and continuing to sing, but also doing the choreography. Logan rolled his eyes at the display, but James was smiling and nodding the whole time.
They did finally sit back down, allowing everyone to enjoy the movie. Quinn found herself diving for Delia or Logan's shoulder anytime any of the "scary parts" happened, and at the start of the last third of the movie, Carlos and James very dramatically belted Suddenly Seymore to each other, Delia and Lainey roping Logan into joining their greek chorus.
"Aw," Quinn cooed as Ellen Greene and Rick Moranis made out on the screen. "That whole number was so sweet."
"The absolute height of romance!" Carlos gushed.
More to herself than the group, Delia muttered "Yeah, unless he's gay."
"What?" Logan asked, turning his head towards the redhead as he quirked an eyebrow.
Not wanting to get too into her history, Delia supplied "I have what could be called a quantitative experience with being wooed by men who would later reveal themselves to be homosexual."
"Quantawhat?" James questioned, not following the chosen language.
Gasping dramatically, Quinn filled in "Delia's a hag."
Eyebrows knitting in concern, voice low, Lainey asked "Is...is that what you were getting at in the kitchen earlier?"
With a sigh, Delia reasoned there was no turning back now. "Yes. Unfortunately, every man I've ever dated was just wanting a beard."
Quinn started giggling. "I'm sorry," she immediately apologized, "It's not funny...but also? It kind of...is? Like...every single guy you've ever dated? How does that even happen?"
"Probably by accident!" Carlos thought he was being helpful.
As Delia rubbed her temple, Lainey put an arm around her shoulder comfortingly. "Well, if it means anything to you, Delia, it seems to me like you make a fantastic beard."
"One of the finest in the world!" Quinn cried in agreement.
When the other six arrived on set the next morning, they were surprised to find Auden and Kendall already there. When asked about the mysterious disappearance, all either had to say was "There was a score that needed to be settled." Naturally, everyone drew the conclusion that they had to buy more marshmallows and left it at that.
As Gustavo stormed onto the set, he asked "Listen up dogs – and girls who FINALLY have a name!"
Immediately, the eyes of all four members of his now-named girl group lit up.
"I need both Big Time Rush, and The Mondays to actually give me some useable footage today!"
"The Mondays?" Quinn repeated. "Is that us?"
"Yes!" Gustavo's voice boomed "Because you give me a case of them! Every day of the week!"
Kelly, who'd entered with Gustavo, smiled. "And it's catchy, memorable, and cute!"
Glancing at the other girls in the group, Lainey smiled "I like it."
"So how did last night go?" Kelly asked.
"Please tell me you'll all get along today." Gustavo almost sounded like he was begging, which caused them all to be a little confused.
With a smirk, James answered, "Well we all know Delia had a big ol crush on Logan."
Delia jabbed James in his lower ribs with her elbow, before turning and smiling sweetly towards Gustavo again.
"It was a little weird at first," Carlos admitted, "but then we watched a movie and the weird kind of went away!"
"Well, let's hope the not-weird shows up on camera." Gustavo mumbled, before yelling, "PLACES!"
The video opened on all eight standing sideways, doing simple choreography as soft "Do do dos" could be heard.
It then cut to Lainey on the stool, singing,
"Hello friend, it's me again
I just called to tell you,
Even though I miss you so
I've been thinking of you
All my dreams are coming true, at last...oooh"
The camera panned to Carlos on his stool, singing
"The perfect ending to a wonderful year
Will be to celebrate the good times with you here
Cause I know,
For sure,
I never wanted anything more"
As Kendall and Auden's voices blended on the chorus, the footage jumped from the two of them singing on their stools to Quinn playfully throwing the fake snow at Lainey, Carlos carrying Delia around on piggy back, and Logan and James decorating a Christmas tree.
"The greatest gift that there could be
Wrapped underneath my Christmas tree
Would be the same my whole life through
I'd spend the perfect Christmas with you
Though the winter seems so long
My faith in love has kept me strong
So if I had a wish come true
I'd send the perfect Christmas with you"
Cutting back to the stools, Logan sang,
"I can't wait
Till the day
When I finally see you
So hold on
I wont be long
Got so much to show you
All our dreams are coming true at last...ooh"
It panned over to Quinn as she sang,
"The perfect ending to a wonderful year
Would be celebrate the good times with you here
Cause I know
For sure
I never wanted anything more"
On the chorus this time, while alternating shots of Kendall and Auden singing again, Kendall and Carlos were shown throwing fake snowballs at each other, Auden and Lainey were seen making "snow angels", and Delia and Quinn strung lights on the tree that James and Logan had been decorating.
"The greatest gift that there could be
Wrapped underneath my Christmas tree
Would be the same my whole life through
I'd spend the perfect Christmas with you"
It cut back to the stools again as James belted a "Woah woah"
As Delia and James sang together, it cut to shots of Carlos & Lainey, Kendall & Auden, Logan & Quinn and James & Delia each meeting under the mistletoe, all looking up and getting what Kelly deemed was adorably embarrassed
"So when you ask me what I mean
To me the Christmas is complete"
It cut back to the stools again for Delia to sing
"Boy can't you see"
Followed by James belting
"You're the one thing missing for me"
As Kendall and Auden's voices could be heard on the chorus again, the video showed Quinn and Auden snacking on gingerbread cookies, Logan and Kendall drinking cocoa out of warm mugs, Lainey and Delia handing the others candy canes, while James attempted to lift Carlos up to put the star at the top of the tree.
"The greatest gift that there could be
Wrapped underneath my Christmas tree
Would be the same my whole life through
I'd spend the perfect Christmas with you
Though the winter seems so long
My faith in love has kept me strong
So if I had a wish come true
I'd send the perfect Christmas"
It cut to Auden back on her stool as she sang alone
"And if I had one wish come true..."
As Auden and Kendall sang the line "I'd spend the perfect Christmas here..." together, it cut to a short snippet of each of the four "couples" who'd been under the mistletoe earlier leaning in to kiss each other, each getting increasingly closer, before it cut back to Kendall on his stool, as he sang the last "with you…"
While more soft "do do dos" were heard and the eight were shown doing the same choreography from the beginning on the video, the camera panned up and faded into pure white as the music faded out.
"And that!" Gustavo cried. "Is what I call a cross promotional music video!"