Chapter Four: The Warthog Rampage
"Did you put an A.I. on the car?" Comodoro asks and turns to see that Luca is still looking at him while playing with the knife
"No ..." Sarge said looking at the lit Warthog "Lopez ... Someone is driving the Jeep."
"Why in Lopez?"Kaguya asks.
"I built a remote on Lopez ..." Sarge said.
"Okay, I get it. You built a remote control for the jeep in Lopez," said Simmons.
"You kidding right?" Commodore asks and feels that someone runs the edge through his armor "you know I'm not going to let you cut off my finger ..."
"Then give me the right to your weapon and finally we will be friends .." Luca said with a threatening tone.
"nope ..."Commodore said, keeping calm.
"Yeah. But there's no way anyone figured out how to turn it on. I hid it in a place no one would ever look at. Unless ..." Sarge turns to see in Donut "Hey, Pretty-in-Pink, were you messin' with my robot?"
"What are you asking me for?" Donut said.
"Hey Luca stop torturing this prisoner. We have a hacker among us! "Sarge yells in alarm. Luca puts her knife away with a growl in her mouth.
"So someone else controls the jeep right now? And the big gun attached to it? "Grif said asking fearfully.
"I think so ..." Kaguya said looking at the warthog's weapon
"Oh, get a pair, you bunch o' Barbies. Even if they've figured out how to turn it on, they'd never know the set of code words to control it. Only me and my diary know that. "Sarge said proudly.
"Diary? Hahaha, what do you write your feelings in?" Commodore scoffs.
"I only write parts that I hate blues!" Yells Sarge and see Commodore"Luka hit him again!"
"Yes sir.."Luka hit Commodore.
"¡Ey!"
At the Blue Base.
Church was annoyed by those beeping noises.
: Did you hear that? "Said Church annoyed that he is still hearing the beeps
"Yes... but what is ir transmitting to ... That may be listening to us ... We'd better turn it off "said Alicia alter and looks at Tucker
"Oh no! I turned it on, someone else turned it off!" Tucker complains
"Are you really not listening to anything?" Said Church annoyed.
"All I hear is that voice, you know, telling us to kill all of our friends before they have a chance to kill us." Caboose said. Everyone looks at Caboose. "Wait, don't you guys hear that?"
"Oh man, I can't take this anymore. Tucker, you're going to have to do something, man, this beep beep is going to drive me crazy," Church said.
drive me crazy
drive me crazy
The echo of the voice transmitted towards the Warthog.
"Drive" Warthog said activating.
"Jumpin' Jehozafats, they've cracked the code. Those dern windtalkers.!" Sarge yells looking at the Warthog.
"Umm ... what's wrong?" Commodore asks looking at Sarge and then at Warthog who began to move "SANTA MARIA MADRE DE DIOS!"Commodore scream in spanish.
The Warthog lunges straight at Doc and hits him. Doc lands in the driver's seat while continuing to drive with him.
"Ahhhhh!" Doc yells
"Hey, he's taking the jeep!" Donut yells.
"Help, this jeep is kidnapping me!" Doc yells scared.
"DOC!" Commodore shouts scared and tries to move but something stops him that he tripped.
"Dont move. let us take care of it! "yells Luca, stopping him.
"That Jeep is possessed!" Anna yells scared.
"Hey Sarge, new rule. How 'bout we just don't take any more prisoners, since we seem to suck at it?" Simmons said suggesting new rule.
"In agreement with Simmons ..." Kaguya said agreeing "We are unlucky ..."
"And if you don't let me save you, goodbye to your friend's life ..." Commodore said, who seemed to keep fighting to free himself.
"Shut up!"shouts Luca and looks at the others "What are you waiting for. Catch the Jeep!"
"But how. And now he's going too far ..." Grif said.
"THE JEEP WANTS TO KILL ME!" Doc yells scared.
"He keeps driving more and gets closer to the middle of the desert ..."Donut said. "Now he's taunting us. This is just embarrassing."
At the base of the Blues.
Caboose is kneeling in front of Church.
"I see a switch down here." Caboose whispers loudly "It's not very big."
"Hmmp it really looks small ..."Claudia said, participating in the joke.
"Shut up both of assholes!" Yells Church.
"Well, move it ..." Alicia alter said. "If you don't let me operate on it" said Alicia alter with a tired tone
"Be careful that this switch is very delicate and I don't want you to break it Alicia ..." Said Church
"Stop that weird innuendo!" Screams Grace flushed.
"Does you have sensory plates? What nonsense ..." Alicia alter said. all the blue soldiers did not notice the movement of the Warthog.
"Sensory plates ... just turn around .." Church said.
"Turn around ..." The Warthog turns around returning to the red base.
a small metallic noise is heard. the sound of electricity is heard. Church looks at Alicia "Don't tell me you broke it?"
At the base of the Reds.
The Warthog is in front of the group.
"Oh man, now what?"Doc said scared. As soon as the reds were stopped and they stood firm for any movement that if the demon's vehicle acted.
"That doesn't look good. Nice kitty, nice kitty" Grif said scared as he pulled away.
"Oh no..." Commodore said looking at the vehicle.
On the blue base.
"I see Well, I see two cables down here. One is green, the other red ..." Said Olga who is kneeling together with Alicia
"Come on guys, take the one that goes to the switch and pull it out," Church said
"Hey, I don't know which one goes there," said Olga.
"Better leave it to me ..." Claudia said approaching Church.
"Wow it looks like there are three girls doing foreplay ..."Tucker said aloud. "Bow-chick-"
"Grace ..." Alicia Alter said. Grace interrupts raising her kukri towards Tucker's neck
"Withdrawn what I said!" Yells Tucker
"Girls. It's my body just look at the red wire!" Yells Church.
At the Red Base.
"Target: Red ..." Warthog said pointing at Sarge.
"oh no" Commodore said looking as the turret started to aim "Doc friendly fire!"
"Sarge you better run!" Ruu-Ruu yells.
"Fudge pump!" Yells Sarge
Commodore heads Luca and runs to jump on top of Sarge dodging the shots from the Warthog
The Warthog proceeded to run Sarge over until he pinned him against the wall of the red base.
"Shit ... Sarge are you okay?" asks Commodore who is on the ground
"I can't believe my own creation wants to kill me!" Shouts Sarge
At the Blue Base.
"Remove the wire red godamitt!" Yells Church.
"okay" said Alicia alter who cuts the wire
The Warthog is still moving and charges Sarge until it reaches the base wall.
"Oh, I'm immobilized!" Shouts Sarge trapped. the Warthog again emits marking noise.
"Eliminate red target" the turret begins firing and progressively approaches Sarge's head.
"You're gonna kill him!" Said Grif.
"What a way to go. Killed by my own mechanical creations. I'm sure there is a philosophical lesson to be learned from all this. "Said Sarge caught.
"Ahg !!! Filthy machine !! Move!" Shouts Commodore trying to move the warthog "if you die I will have a band of paperwork"
"That senile old men shouldn't join the army?" Grif said.
"That your keywords don't make sense?" Kaguya said.
"Are you better off as an engineer than a front-line officer?" Ruu-Ruu added.
"Something about the dangers of technology and the unshakable pride of humanity?" Simmons said
"No, something about hiring better help that doesn't stare at you die!"Sarge said shouting angrily. "And being helped by a blue that saved my life is an outrage for me !!
"I'm not a damn Blue!" Shouts Comodoro and I saw that the shots were getting closer
"Okay, we have to do something here guys" Simmons yells.
"You're right. I want Sarge's armor," Donut said.
"We must move that possessed machine!" Anna yells trying to push the Warthog.
At the Blue Base.
"Okay, Church, are you ready. I'm going to pull the cable "Alicia Alter would say
"Grif, if you see Lopez, tell him I forgive him. Tell him ... he was like a son to me," Sarge said looking at the reds. "And also tell Ruu-Ruu that he was my number one .."
"don't die old man !!" Commodore said pushing the Warthog
"I thought Simmons was your son ..." Kaguya said.
"No offense, Simmons." Sarge excuse Simmons "Lopez, Ruu-Ruu and me just ... understand each other better," Sarge said.
"No. you didn't take me to a Grifball playing field !!" Ruu-Ruu yells crying.
"Got it? He refused to speak English!" Yells Simmons offended.
"Yeah, and he got away the first chance he got," said Grif.
"And now he's trying to kill you with a remote control jeep," Kaguya said.
"That's kind of understanding." Luca said sarcastically.
"Ahhhh, what a little rascal," said Sarge.
On the blue base.
"Okay, nothing's wrong here. One, two, three!"yells Olga and pulls the cord, there is a small electrical sound and the beeping stops.
"Hey, it stopped." Grace said.
"Finally. It was getting annoying," Claudia said
"Oh God yeah! Finally! A little peace and quiet I thought that would drive me crazy! ...Hey. Why can't I move my legs? "Church said that he can't move his legs." Hey, what the hell did you make me blonde bitch! "He yells at Alicia
"hmm Olga, Claudia I told them that I was going to remove it ...I think we damage their motor skills "said Alicia alternately
"Well try to help ..." Olga said throwing the broken red wire.
"Now what?" Claudia said.
At the Red Base.
The Warthog stops firing. "Signal lost .."
"Wow!"yells Grif in surprise. "Wow, that was close. Are you okay, Sergeant?"
"Ah, horse puckey, I'm fine. Although I have to admit it, maybe I'm a little disappointed." Sarge said disappointed.
"All right, sir.I know you said a lot of things that you didn't mean. People say crazy things when faced with their own death. "Smmons said
"And that's what they pay us for ..." Commodore said tiredly and sits down on the floor "after this I want a beer ...or some mate ... "
"Ahem ... we told you not to speak ..." Luca said looking at Comodoro.
"Damned it..." Commodore said in a cold voice.
"No..I had it under control!" Yells Sarge
"Well, not as controlled as it seemed ..." Anna said.
"He was a worthy opponent, to be sure, but right at the end he was beginning to show signs of weakness. Cracks in the armor, so to speak".Sarge said proudly while he was still caught being little squashed in the front of the Warthog.
"You threatened it with your gaze so that the Warthog would fear you!" Shouts Ruu-Ruu cheerfully.
"What? You can't fight a machine gun, "said Grif.
"Yeah, Sergeant. I know you're tough and all, but it's a bit hard to beat hundreds of armor-piercing bullets using just your face," Donut said.
"Yes ... Do you want me to move the vehicle?" Commodore asks.
"Dont worry. Commodore,. i take care it ..." Doc said and looks at Sarge. "Guys, guys, it's okay, I've seen this before. Sarge just had a very traumatic experience. We all have ways of coping with stress."
"Oh yeah? How do you deal with it? "Said Grif.
"Oh, I have my own system that works quite well for me. ... By the way, the driver's seat of the jeep will need a thorough cleaning," said Doc looking at the back of the seat.
"No wonder no one gets on the Warthog for weeks because of the person who always leaves trash ..." Simmons said looking at Grif.
"Hey don't look at me. Blame it on Maia ..." Grif said.
"And she also throws garbage ..." Kaguya said.
"Ah of course we do. We must feed the earth to progress the air ..." Grif said
"Rather you want to poison the environment!" Yells Simmons
At the Blue Base.
"This is great, this is just great. Thank you very much Olga, Claudia and the stupid Blonde Mastermind Now what am I supposed to do? My lower half is damaged. "Shouts Church angrily
"good if someone had let me remove the cable ...we wouldn't have this problem "complained Alicia alter.
"This doesn't seem like a big deal. You hardly ever used your legs anyway. I've never heard of a grown man asking for so many piggyback rides," Claudia complained.
"Hey, I already told you: that was for science," Church said.
"I ... don't even know how to answer that." Claudia said.
"I don't think any of us will." Grace said.
"Why don't you try walking on your handsthen you could use your feet to make sandiwiches and ... eat sandwiches ... and, you know, the important stuff. "Caboose said
"I think he means having sex," Tucker said.
"No, the motor capacity of the legs are vital for soldiers" said Alicia alternates
"Shut up!" Shouts Church angrily. "Alicia get on your knees and do your thing. Claudia and Olga help her repair the problem you made!"
at the Base of the Reds.
"If you're a doctor. Could you stop checking Sarge's spines ..." Simmons said.
"Oh right. Sorry." Doc accidentally shoves the Warthog towards Sarge again.
": Oh, hot buttered lug nuts!!"Sarge yells in pain.
"Ooo gee I'm so sorry. I was just in the wrong gear, let me just..." Doc accidentally punches Sarge again.
"Yoh, geez! There goes mah last kidney! I was saving that one for a special occasion."Said Sarge
"The third time is the charm?" Doc said
"Doc ... Don't you want me to take it out?" Commodore asks "You're going to end up killing him ..."
"No no. Let him kill," Luca said sarcastically.
"Get out of the jeep now!" Kaguya yells angrily
"I'm so sorry guys. I was just trying to help. Really!" Doc said.
"Oh, is that all? I for one was totally confused. I thought you were savagely trying to kill our Sergeant by ramming him over and over with a six thousand pound steel death machine. Now that we know that you're just trying to help, by all means, please continue.. "Grif said sarcastically.
"... ... Really?" Doc said.
"Get out!" Kaguya, Grif and Simmons yell at the same time.
"Guys we have decided seriously. Group reunion!" Sarge yells ordering all the reds to gather. "Who is in favor of expelling those hostages that bring bad luck!"
"We better exile that good-for-nothing doctor!" Shouts Ruu-Ruu
"but ... who would treat Maia?" Question Prim
"Prim hit me on the head!" Shouts Ruu-Ruu.
"Yes. give it a hit. Ruu-Ruu has Hitler's personality! "Sarge yells.
"Wait. She has a split personality?" Commodore said mentally.
"Umm ... Ok" Prim just gives her a little bump
"Give me stronger stupid princess!" Screams Ruu-Ruu
"okay..." prim just rose a little louder than knocks her out.
"What are they doing!" Commodore yells "You have hit your ally. You are crazy!" Ruu-Ruu suddenly stands up.
"Hallo!" Ruu-Ruu shouts with a German accent laughing like a psychopath. "Ich passe auf Maia auf"
"Good. Let's kick Doc out ..." Sarge said and then looks at Commodore.
"What are you going to do to me?" Commodore said.
"You will be locked in the well of doom!"shouts Sarge ordering Anna and Luca to open a steel lid from the ground that is a small bunke for one person.
"Very ... Good ... How do I get my rail gun back ..." Commodore said looking at Luca
"I'll take it."Luca said hugging his rail rifle "I'll look for a way to have access .."
"Take off all your armor up to the helmet!" Sarge yells pointing at Commodore.
"What?" Grif said looking at Sarge "are we going to rape him?"
"If they touch a single hair of me. All you will regret this !! "Commodore yells angrily.
"We're not going to do that!" Sarge yells. "REMOVE HIS ARMOR AND LEAVE HIM IN ELASTIC MESH!"
"Ahhh why didn't you tell us before?" Said Grif understanding.
"You already have my helmet ...but as long as I don't hurt Doc. I accept "says Commodore
"Yes ... but I think Doc is not going to be safe ..." Anna said looking where Simmons and Grif along with Kaguya escort Doc
"Hey? Hey! What are you going to do to him!" Yells Commodore
"Maybe they are going to execute him for trying to kill his sergeant ..." Luca said. "It's martial law ..."
"What the fuck !?" Comodoro yells that he was going to get up.
"Shut up!" Sarge yells, hitting him in the face with the butt " electrocute him!"shouts Sarge where Anna and Luca raise their electric batons that belonged to Exodus and forces him to enter the well.
"Ahh motherfuckers!" Yells Commodore.
"Very well ... I have repaired your motor capacity ..." Alicia said alter
"Okay now take a step ..." Church said taking a step but jammed his left foot causing a spark to the crotch in front of the three women. Black smoke comes out of their crotches on their faces. Olga and Claudia move back.
"Coff coff is too much!" Claudia coughs loudly.
"Hey quiet swallow quiet -." Tucker was going to give perverted comment.
"Coff Coff!" Olga coughs from the black smoke and looks at Tucker "If you're going to hint starting with Bow-Chicka-Wow-Wow ...Chloe will cut your throat ... "
"Ahhh come on ..." Tucker said disappointed
"Hmmm it's a very complete and complex system ... Whoever put it together ... It has a lot of robotics capabilities ... Or a good amount of money" said Alicia alter.
"It's crap!"shouts Church angrily. "Alicia fix my legs now!" Alicia would kneel in front of the crotch.
In the background they are approaching four people that would be Simmons, Grif and Kaguya who is accompanying Doc.
"Ahh..Church .." Caboose said. "I think you should know that the Reds are ..."
"Damn it, Caboose! In the short time I've known you, you've managed to call my girlfriend a whore, blow me up with a tank, shoot me in the head. so I hope it's not too much for me to ask, just for once, if you shut your damn mouth! "shouts Church without looking back.
"Hey Blues, we're here to-" Kaguya yells out loud and sees Alicia kneeling in front of Church "What the hell are you doing ?!" she yells in shock. "Alice, what are you doing? You're crazy, and there is also Claudia along with Olga WHAT THE FUCK!!!!"
"What the hell are you doing!" Simmons screams flushed.
Agent Alaska stared at where his ex girfriend was foreplaying along with two cobalt armor-clad women to men.
alaska felt jealous and angry "Damn ... nobody does that to my girl ..." he said angrily.
Thank you for reading the fourth chapter and leave the positive comments.