Chapter One: The Princess
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"Your Highness? Are you awake?"
Looking up from the heavy leather bound journal her grandfather had written a lifetime ago, to the holographic interface reading 8:33am 13.04.2007 on the projection screen. Sighing, the young woman engrossed by the work, pulled herself out of bed and walked over to the window.
The view from her window today was that of the dreadnought KRS-Tirpitz in low orbit over the super metropolis that Berlin had become for resupply for their long term patrol of the Centurion Relay, about 300 lightyears from here. If she recalled correctly, there was an early warning data collection facility was stationed out there on an inhospitable ice world called GR-214. Kit was there to keep tabs on the Citadel Species lines of communication. She wished them luck on her journey and fought back the envy she felt for them.
Sighing as she looked away from the vessel, Alexandrine Cecile Sofia von Hohenzollern set the journal of her Grandfather down on her drawing table and stretched her still exhausted body out.
She had awakened that morning to find the weathered journal sitting on her bedside table with a note from her father, wishing her a happy 18th birthday. It was a surprise to have been given such a cherished piece of Hohenzollern history, which was something which she would appreciate. In her family, there was not a lot of emphasis on getting to know who the Kaisers were. At least… it wasn't the case for her. She was the youngest child after all. What need did she have for the information?
The way in which Grandfather wrote about the state of the country… the world, was so pessimistic. It was like the world would never move out of the shadow of the Second World War. Then again, it must have felt that way living back then. The world in a constant state of tension and everyone – Germans included - fearing the new quarian arrivals. She had grown up never knowing a world where humanity had thought that they were alone. An alien race impossibly more advanced than them must have been such a shock to the species core.
The world wasn't perfect. She was old enough to see it. But compared to how it was fifty years ago, the world was at relative peace again.
The Soviet Union had been finally destroyed twenty-five years ago, The Federal Republic of Russia was celebrating Restoration Day – The day the White Russians assumed control over Moscow and started the process of deprogramming Soviet citizenry. France had Reunification Day a few months ago, celebrating their 20th year as a reunified nation. The Americans were making trade deals with Germany and the United Kingdom was finally approaching Germany without adversarial suspicion. Fascism in Italy, Hungary, Romania, Bulgaria and Spain collapsed in 1988, and constitutional monarchies took their place with exception to Hungary. The Chinese Union, the Republic of Korea and Japan were inching towards a normalization of relations after decades of mistrust.
Pushing those thoughts to one side, Alexandrine slowly sat up on the edge of her bed and stretched her body out. Her interface played EDM with the volume down. She looked to the door, the source of both the call and the knock.
"Yes, Marta I'm awake," Alexandrine called out as she stood up.
The door opened and Countess Marta von Schlieben stepped into her bedroom, a warm smile for her younger charge. She was a tall icy blue eyed blonde East Prussian Junker, dressed in a black and white long sleeved short skirt Prada dress with a jet black wide belt with a metal buckle to finish. Her hair was pulled back in a French twist.
Marta was brought into the household when Alexandrine was a girl. She was an educator, a moral compass and a friend to her. She was only about fifteen years her senior. Mother thought it would be nice if she had a governess and fashionista who was within her age range, someone who would not stifle her with previous generations hold overs.
While she may have held a title and travelled in the Prussian circles, Marta was a Junker in title only. She was warm and approachable, prepared to teach Alexandrine whatever she wished. At first she was just a governess, until Alexandrine decided that she wanted to go to a proper school. Marta advocated, and Alexandrine ended up at Enskilda Gymnasiet in Stockholm, Sweden. After her transfer to school, Marta became a tutor and assistant. In a way she was a quasi-lady-in-waiting in some aspects, as well as an ear to listen to the young princess's fears and aspirations.
Alexandrine smiled brightly as Marta cupped her cheeks and planted a kiss on the Princess forehead.
"Happy birthday, my dearest friend," Marta spoke through her bright smile as she pulled back and looked on the younger girl with pride. "I cannot believe you're on the cusp of adulthood. It feels like yesterday that I came to teach that child trapped in this mad home."
It was a strange idea that Marta presented. She did not feel like she was approaching adulthood. Taking Marta's hand, she allowed her friend to sit her down in front of the dresser table. Next to her, Marta opened a drawer and retrieved a cushion brush for her morning routine.
"Your schedule is a full one today, 'Drina," Marta continued; using her nickname as she pulled back Alexandrine's hair gently behind her shoulders. "Would you like a breakfast prepared to eat here? I imagine you won't have much in the way of time to yourself for today."
"No," Alexandrine said as she felt the brush gently work into her hair. "I should join mother and pretend to be surprised Georg is here for my birthday."
She hoped that did not sound too rude, but ever since Georg left Berlin Palace, it was not as though he was far away, and yet every visit was treated as though a second coming of Christ. She supposed it was to be expected. He was eldest and only son of the Kaiser. He was going to get a special treatment by the Junkers and nobility that surrounded the family.
In spite of this treatment, Georg was a relatively well adjusted, and wasn't big-headed. Perhaps a little arrogant at times, but it came from being the socialite he was. To Alexandrine he was an annoying older brother, and she was endeared to it. He had also in recent months stepped up as the face of the family. Father's health wasn't the greatest, and it hadn't been for a while. It was good that her sibling was taking some of the burden from him. Father needed all the rest he could get these days.
"He is holding back Cornelia from bursting into your room at seven in the morning to celebrate her little sister's birthday. The Empress thought you should sleep in a bit." Marta explained between the brush strokes.
Alexandrine smiled as she imagined her adult half siblings fighting over her. Well, not fighting. Cornelia wasn't the best with boundaries and Georg, ever the eldest brother had to intercede.
Her father, Louis Ferdinand had been married to the modest Countess Donata of Castell-Rüdenhausen. The union was a simple one; and filled with a special sort of love that came from falling for a friend. With how large a family Grandfather Louis and Grandmother Kira had, neither of them ever expected to be thrusted into the role as royal heir by her Grandfather, Kaiser Louis Ferdinand.
Unfortunately for father and Donata, love was unlike fairy tales, and suddenly real life and real constraints seeped in. The marriage fell apart shortly after the birth of Cornelia. Donata feared her husband inevitable position of Kaiser, and after it became clear that Cornelia had Down's syndrome, she wanted a husband at her side to help nurture their special needs child, and place her needs above everything else. She did not want a Kaiser for a husband, nor did she want the constraints of being an Empress Consort.
Thankfully for all parties, it wasn't a brutal break up of a family as what happened to their British counterparts. They simply drifted apart do to an irreparable difference. As terrible as it must have been for Georg and Cornelia, Donata and Father remained lifelong friends even after the divorce. He never shirked his duties to his family, and he was there for every challenge thrown at Cornelia even after he was named Crown Prince. It was just that marriages failed. It was part of life.
It was June 1986 that the newly redubbed Crown Prince Louis Ferdinand had gone to a state visit to Sweden. There amongst his well-wishers was an auburn haired, blue eyed Countess named Eva Marie Löwenhielm, who was almost two decades his junior. The sparks flew as they did, and the next thing they knew the two were seeing each other and married about a year later. It was a bit of a whirlwind, and the age separation was questioned, but the love was there and it was strong even to this day.
Unlike Donata, Mother was ready to accept her husband as a Kaiser. It was not because of the perks. She was well aware of the burden placed on those on the throne. She was ready to play a second place to father's first wife – Germany - and the protection of the state from the Wehrmacht. Alexandrine always thought it was so unfair it had to be that way, but not once did her mother blink, or was phased. She understood the duty and the sacrifice it took to be in the positions they were.
As for Donata and mother, the two were not adversaries. They instead quickly became each other's confidants. Donata confessed her personal triumphs and setbacks as a mother to a special needs child, Mother would unwind about the challenge of having a marriage in the constant spotlight, where father's focus was directed to state affairs. Donata had even become sort of a second mother to Alexandrine, especially when mother and father were on a state trip which they could not bring her.
Donata taught her about life outside the gilded cage, how to be an independent person. She was the first person Alexandrine told about her dreams to apply to the naval academy and serve in the Kaiserflotte.
It was the newest branch in the Wehrmacht with the least political ties to it. They had a singular purpose: to smash the geth fleets and gain a foothold in quarian space, deterring the Council races along the way. It would not be long before the Kaiserflotte operated outside of safe quarian patrolled systems and moved deep into new regions of the galaxy, both populated by other races and uninhabited.
She was not interested in serving on a combat vessel - she would if she was called to do so – but instead her interests laid in the exploratory units meant to seek out and discover new habitable worlds for colonial efforts. Germany was crowded and the world didn't want another expansion of Germany through conquest, so why not direct it to other worlds.
As for telling Donata, it came as a shock, and after the initial fear she felt for Alexandrine, she seemed to accept there was a passion of the girl, and that passion was all she needed to see for Donata's unconditional support. She even took Alexandrine undercover to see a recruiter.
It was a weird little family that they had, but she was old enough now to see how terrible it could have been. It could have easily ended up like the Windsor's, where Elizabeth II had to watch her children's marriages fall apart and the wives detailed horror stories of life in the royal family. Poor Diana – a frequent guest in the Hohenzollern home, who would take Alexandrine out on some of her missions when Alexandrine was old enough – had relocated to Germany and was working full time for a charitable NGO. She only returned to her home country to visit her children.
"I wouldn't mind it if Cornelia barged in," Alexandrine found her voice. "If she wants to see me, please always let her."
Marta did not answer with more than an affirmative hum. Cornelia was an important part of her life. While her family loved her, there were plenty running the same social circles that had… preferences in favor towards her elder brother Georg. She was simply not German – Prussian - enough to any of them for more than the basic of courtesies. Georg was established in their circles and a well-loved charmer. There were times in which she felt he didn't know when to be real or genuine.
With Cornelia, Alexandrine found nothing but unconditional love. To Cornelia, Alexandrine was her baby sister and she would protect Alexandrine no matter her own personal obstacles. Unconditional love was such a rare thing, and Alexandrine cherished when it presented itself. The loyalty shown by Cornelia was returned by her just as freely.
Her musings about family were interrupted by a small black box with a little blue ribbon covering that was slipped on to the table in front of her. She turned back and noticed Marta, looking casual, like she hadn't just gifted something to her charge.
"I know you don't like presents, but I had to get you something for this special occasion." Marta said as Alexandrine opened the box.
Pulling off the lid, Alexandrine found a simple silver necklace. There were no thrills, no special markers; it was exactly the sort of thing that she would wear in her day to day. She looked up to Marta and smiled for her, the box clutched tightly in her hand.
"It's beautiful, Marta," she effused to her friend. "You really didn't have to get this for me. You have given me so much already."
Marta smiled and took the gift box from Alexandrine's hands.
"Perhaps, but you have always gone out of your way to treat me on my birthday," She reminded the Princess. "It was time that I returned the gesture properly."
Marta took it out and, pushing Alexandrine's smoky chestnut toned hair to one side as she slipped the necklace around her neck. Gently, Alexandrine touched the necklace and looked at it in the mirror. It was perfect.
"Thank you," Alexandrine sincerely spoke. "Thank you for everything you've done for me."
Alexandrine stood and pulled her Matron and friend into a tight hug. After a moment, Marta pulled back and smiled, her hands clutching Alexandrine's
"I know you have plans tonight with your friend, 'Drina. Have fun… safe fun, but fun." Marta said knowingly. "Frankly you need it."
There was a small knock on the door frame of her bedroom.
"I should hope you do get to go out tonight and celebrate," Alexandrine heard a man say in barely more than a whisper behind the pair. "You're only 18 once, you must cherish it."
Marta and Alexandrine's relaxed banter collapsed as they turned to the weakly spoken suggestion offered by the man standing there in her doorway. It was her father, Kaiser Louis Ferdinand II. Father was dressed in a conservative suit and tie, his jacket was left open. One hand clutched his cane; the other was buried in the jacket pockets. There was a great deal of personal pride as he examined his daughter.
As warm as he smiled, Alexandrine could sense the total pain he was in. She knew how brittle his bones were, even if the adults in her life tried to downplay his illness. She knew that he was one bad fall away from losing natural function of his legs. There were implants, but the doctors did not believe his body could handle such an invasive surgery. He was supposed to stay off his feet as much as possible.
"I'm going to go have a drink with Michael father… Father, what are doing out of bed?" Alexandrine chastised him. She did not mean to sound so mean about it, but it simply out of concern for him.
As Father stepped gingerly closer to his daughter, Alexandrine stepped past Marta and went to her Father's side. Her arm wrapping around his waist and slowly she walked her father to take a seat on the loveseat opposite her bed.
"This is my home, I am the Kaiser, and I wanted to see my youngest on her birthday," he reminded her, a trace of good humour slipping into his words as he held her hands. The Kaiser looked to Marta, who looked close to tears and added. "Marta, dear, could I have some time with her?"
Marta nodded sharply and stepped back from the father and daughter.
Giving her Kaiser a curtsey, Marta stepped back and turned to leave. Father remained silent, clutching Alexandrine's hands. She could feel his hands quaking. Alexandrine ignored the overwhelming dread she felt thinking about her father in his condition. She tightened her hands around his until the quaking stopped.
"Father, I appreciate you seeing me, but you could have summoned me," she gently spoke. "You know I worry for you."
"I am not summoning my daughter on her birthday to my room. I am going to see her, because she is worth the effort," he spoke lightly. A smile crossed onto his lips as he added. "Please don't fret on this day, dearest. It's a good day for me, my girl. I promise you it is."
She did not believe his assurances, but she was unable to find any words to refute him. Instead Alexandrine simply nodded and leaned in to rest her head on her Father's shoulder. She felt his arms, once so strong, now was barely there attempt to wrap around her. She felt his lips touching her forehead.
As much as her rational mind told her that he should have remained in his bedroom, every other instinct she had was just glad to have him here. It felt like sort of like other birthdays of the past. Where he would set aside a whole day to her to do activities she was interested in at the time.
"I see you got the journal," Alexandrine heard father say over her head as his body bent forward to scoop the book up. "It's not expensive trinket, but it is a rich."
Alexandrine pulled back from her Father's arms and looked at journal his father had written when he was still a baby. Wiping her eyes, she nodded. She was trying to repress the growing dread.
"Thank you for the gift, father," Alexandrine spoke up, struggling to hold a steady tone. "He was very… colourful in his writing. He wrote like it was a story he was telling. It's a strange way to journal."
A small chuckle was emitted from her father. He seemed to understand where she was coming from.
"Your Grandfather was a strange man," her father agreed as he opened the book. "He always was a bit of a jack of all trades. He felt it was important to journal the events of the day, and to pass along his thoughts and observations in the least boring ways he could for those who followed him. He had hoped it would inspire his descendants to pay attention rather than fall asleep reading tedious little factoids. By the end of his reign he had a hundred of these journals filled. Most of the men and women in those books are dead now… but it is still go insight into understanding how he acted."
The idea of writing that much sounded daunting, but she could not deny she was interested in what he observed. The observations of Elizabeth and George VII were a nice insight; Elizabeth especially. She had never imagined a time when Elizabeth was still just a young Princess.
"For years my mother, my siblings and I would watch him write in these journals. He never spoke of the contents, never shared a single detail. Yet… on the day you were born, he gave me this exact volume," he shared to his daughter, placing the journal in her lap and placing an arm around her shoulder.
Father trailed off, and Alexandria watched as a strange wave of nostalgia and regret wash over her Father's already pained face. His mouth opened and shut slightly as he shook his head, as though he could scarcely believe what was on his mind.
"My God…" he said, struggling to retain his composure. "It's been 13 years, and I still miss the old man like it was just yesterday…"
Alexandrine felt her stomach lurch as she watched her father feel grief for a death that occurred nearly two decades. The terrible thought that she tried block from her mind was wondering if the pain of loss could ever really go away. Judging from her father's reaction to the mere thought of his father, Grief was not something that vanished.
Father turned to her, his free hand lifting her chin so that she was looking at him.
"Obviously I was confused when he gave me this," he continued, patting the journal face. "This man never shared any of his writings with anyone for nearly 40 years. That was the day he confirmed upon me Crown Prince…"
Father trailed off and finally looked his daughter in the eye.
"I still remember his words when he handed me this journal." Father said, staring strangely into Alexandrine's eyes. "He told me: 'Louis, the thoughts, fears and aspirations of a Kaiser should not be shared so openly. This journal contents are one Kaiser's thoughts, shared for the next.'"
It did not take long for her to understand what he was saying. Alexandrine sat there as a cold shock ran up her spine. The journal her lap slipped off her lap and landed on the floor. Her breathing slowed as her eyes slowly widened. The young woman looked to her father as though he was in the midst of pranking her. This wasn't happening.
This couldn't be happening…
"What is this…" she hissed lowly, her voice quavering as she felt like she was about get sick. "…What are you saying, father?"
Father didn't need to say it, she already knew. Years of anger suddenly, pooled through her defenses. He spent years downplaying it, lying to her about it and she always accepted the lies because it was just so much easier to do.
"The cancer has started metastasizing into my organs-" he started to speak.
Instead of getting to finish explaining his terminal prognosis, he watched Alexandrine daughter scoop up the large journal and launched it at her dresser mirror as hard as she could. The mirror did not shatter, but it fractured. Fuming, Alexandrine rounded back to her Father. The only thing that held back the tears was the utter rage she felt. What exploded was the brewing anger Alexandrine had buried as deep as she could for the past two years.
She was not stupid enough to believe that her father wasn't seriously ill, but the extent of which was constantly downplayed from the doctors, to her adult family, right to her father. She trusted his word, and he took that trust and used it to trick her.
"You SWORE up and down to me that you were getting better!" Alexandrine shrieked at her father in English in case anyone in the household would hear. "You lied to me, and you knew I would accept anything you said!"
Her father stepped forward, his arms held out. She shook her head and moved away faster than he could approach in his state, unable to look her dying Father in the eye. She didn't want to touch him; she didn't want to look at him.
As heartbreaking as it was to Alexandrine to have to listen to her Father discuss his own finality so resolutely. There was a far greater fear that was brewing at the implication he had just made. What drove her mind to such lengths of terror was why it was that he told her that story about the day he was named Kaiser in the first place.
The cage that ensnared her father, destroyed his first marriage and committed him to a life he never wanted was coming down on her next.
"My girl… my precious girl, come here," she faintly could hear her father say.
This time, Alexandrine did not resist her father as he wrapped his arms around her. That was all it took for the young woman to break down in her father's arms. She clutched him tightly, sobbing as her head buried into his chest.
"We're not the Windsor family. I want you to feel however you wish to feel," Father spoke, above her, his chin resting on her head, his voice steady and unafraid. "Cry, be mad at me, as long you say it to me. I don't want these things eating away at you. Repressing yourself will break my heart more than any angry words you say ever could"
There was no response that Alexandrine could muster, so instead they stood there in silence together. Father was silent and motionless as he allowed his child to sob into his chest. She felt sick as her brain struggled to process any of this. She wondered why she had been so certain that he could recover. It was all so obvious now to her.
"I am so sorry that I did not burden you with the truth," Father broke his silence. "I was in as much a delusion as you were in ignorance. I wanted to beat the cancer, or at the very least fight it to a remission. I did, over and over, yet it always came back. And I can't keep this up much longer."
Alexandrine shook her head.
"Just go back to bed…" Alexandrine breathed into his chest, her words a near slur as she pleaded to her father. "I-I'll…I'll take care of you… I don't want you to go…"
There was a strained laugh above her and she felt her father pull her back. She softened her tight grasp on his suit grasp on him and looked into his eyes. They were warm, and glazed from the pain medication coursing through his body so that he was capable of meeting her here.
Father took her shoulder and sat her down on the edge of Alexandrine's bed. He took his youngest hand into his.
"I do not need another caretaker, Alexandrine. I will continue to fight for as long as I possibly can to have you at my side," Father tried to reassure her. "However, it is time for you to start thinking about a life beyond my presence; and it's time for me to name an heir, and I want it to be you."
Alexandrine could not look her father in the eye as she shook her head. She didn't want it, she didn't want the burden. She… she had a life she was planning for.
"I... I can't…" Alexandrine spoke in a slow and low voice. Her chest hurt as she struggled not to hyperventilate. "Ask Georg… I can't reign… Everyone knows him. Everyone loves him."
The bitterness was boiling over. Alexandrine loved her brother. She genuinely did. Georg never treated her with any less love because they did not share mothers. He was the first to stand by her side when they found themselves in social situations with the sons and daughters of the Junker and Militarist class – the ones who spat on her because her mother wasn't Prussian or even a German. He fought for her honour and was the first to dry her tears. He introduced her to much of the social circles outside school setting she was friendly with now. He took her on the outings with foreign royals, introduced her to life outside the spot light.
And yet, as much as Alexandrine adored him, there was still a lifetime of… smothered resentment that crossed into her heart. The world she knew adored the first son, a son of marriage that was celebrated. Neither the country, nor the state wanted a half German girl from a second marriage. It was not his fault and that was the worst thing about it, this was entirely a complex of hers.
"Georg is a good man, a wonderful son, whom I love and an excellent brother to Cornelia as his grandfather was to his sister and your namesake: Alexandrine," Father said, breaking through her silent fuming as he spoke about her Great Aunt. "All those merits – as admirable as they are - do not make him a Kaiser."
Alexandrine looked up and met her Father's gaze. She was stunned by what he had suggested. Georg had all the makings of a Kaiser. He was his father's son. Yet to her father it seemed as though that was what troubled him.
"There is too much of me in him, and sacred Germany requires a better guardian guiding her than I could be." Father admitted to her. There was a strange shame crossing into his voice.
Admitting a personal weakness was never easy. For him to say that out loud to her… he must have been desperate for her to agree, to voluntarily fall into the trap.
"What if I say no…" Alexandrine asked, staring ahead at the broken mirror. She could see her father shift in his seat.
Father remained silent as he gazed inquisitively to his child. It was as if he was trying to determine just how much of a threat she had issued really was. He wasn't looking at her like a Father at the moment. He was looking at her like a Monarch.
"If you say no, I will go to Georg and decree the title to him," Father answer her after his prolonged silence. "I am sure he would make a fine Kaiser; it's just that Germany requires a trailblazer, not a caretaker."
His words broke the unflinching stare she held. She turned to look to her Father, who had turned his head to face her. She did not understand why he was holding her to such high esteem.
"I have been watching you, Alexandrine, even when you thought I wasn't, even when you thought my attentions were on your brother," he spoke to her gently. "Yes, compared to Georg, you have been quiet in the background…yet you have impressed those who take the time to notice you and not simply flock to your brother out of assumption – and I assure you from the conversations I have had, they are impressed."
The praise of others did not matter to her in the slightest. She didn't want this; she didn't deserve this burden…
"Do you realize that if you… if you were to... if you…died tomorrow I would be the youngest Empress since Victoria?" Alexandrine pointed out, her voice filled with total distaste. "Jesus Christ Father, we even share the same first given name, slight variation but's still there!"
She ignored the blasphemy. She would atone later. The idea repulsed her, placing herself in Victoria's shoes as a brood mare to a generation of royal families. She would never submit to that sort of misery the woman let herself endure just to build that dynasty.
"Fate is a funny thing," Father pointed out, ironically without any inclination to humor as she gave him the observation.
"Fate is a funny thing…" Alexandrine repeated highly. "Except they're not going to look at me like I am the next Victoria aren't they? No, they're going to look at me like I'm a second coming of Wilhelm II. Like… some… half-breed Prussian who'll drag the state… no, the world, into the quarian war."
She felt her father wrap her in his comforting arm. She wanted the embrace, but the anger in her refused to accept it. She pushed it off him and continued to glare ahead.
"Wilhelm could have been one of the greatest, but he squandered the potential of his rule with the animosity that grew from his disability, and worse, a lack of understanding of love and empathy given to him by his parents," Father answered her fears with the same uncomfortably steady voice he held. "You are healthy, and you have the unconditional love of a family. Everything else you lack, you will learn from educators who elevate you. I promise you that."
Alexandrine exhaled. She knew what this was now. She knew why Father actually wanted her. Somehow it made her even angrier.
"You want someone sufficiently uneducated in the role," she hypothesized, emotion drained completely from her voice. "Georg has a life, and he's too clever for you to trick into this life and do as you wish… you want me because I can be trained like some… circus show."
Father did not reply. He did not deny it.
Suddenly, Alexandrine felt everything around her go into a haze. Father's lack of denial left Alexandrine both horrified and satisfied she knew the truth.
It was the last straw. She stood up and bolted to the bathroom adjacent to her bedroom and vomited into the sink. The nausea was overwhelming as her head pounded. It has all suddenly gotten so very real to her. Her father wasn't talking hypothetically. He wanted her to serve for real.
The worst part… the absolute worst part was that she felt her resistance to what he wanted slipping. He was dying; to deny him this… this was unthinkable. Yet what it was he wanted was just as unthinkable to her. He was using his own mortality to loop her in, and the worst part was it was succeeding. How could she refuse someone a last request – especially when it was her father?
Alexandrine could make out his footsteps as she ran the water the wash the empty bile down the sink drain and washed her mouth out. As she brushed her teeth, she felt his hand rub against her back.
"I'm sorry for that, Alexandrine," he spoke to her, rubbing her back as she spat a mouthful of spit and toothpaste into the sink.
She turned to face him, unable to conceal the betrayal she felt as she looked into his empty eyes.
"It is true that I have another reason, and it is a practical one," her Father admitted to her. "This decision wasn't out of maliciousness. I was too old, too influenced by my father to be an effective Kaiser. You could be a successor who is still young enough to learn, to grow and to be flexible enough to change as the situation does. I need an heir who can learn from others and grow to become a war time Empress which this nation will need."
Silence fell as Alexandrine absorbed the pragmatism of her father. He was always a sentimental man, so to hear him speak like this disturbed him. He seemed steadfast in not allowing his heir to end up as he had. That was what horrified her most… he was arguing from a position of reason.
"I know that this is a burden that I ask you to undertake," Father pressed on firmly, breaking her thoughts. "This family has lived in the spectre of Wilhelm II for too long. We were taught to fear the power it had… I feared it terribly."
A smile formed on his expression. Through the pain her father was enduring, Alexandrine saw something approaching hope. He placed his clammy hand against the side of his daughter's face
He… had hope in her.
"But you… you don't have to fear it," He continued, his words optimistic and shining. "You will learn how push aside that fear bred into you, as well as the historical temptation to exploit your position, and instead use it responsibly as our family was ordained by God to do the day the German states unified."
Father exhaled unsteadily.
"Whether you accept or not, our nation will be facing a war that will be unlike anything it has seen before. This is a war which will involve hardship, suffering and likely terrible loss. This is a war where if our government flinched, it would give the wolves in the Wehrmacht Council the excuse it needs to simply assume direct command over the state," he warned her. "The government and the people need a beacon, a great defender of the State; they will need you as the first soldier of the Fatherland."
Alexandrine nodded, not agreeing, but indicating she was listening. She might have been out of the loop, but she was well aware how willing the Council was to expand their power base. War brought an opportunity to return to a strength not seen since the end of the Second Germanic-Soviet war.
"It's just… I had… plans, I suppose..." Alexandrine spoke at long last. The words had been directed to herself rather than to him.
The self-pity was starting to wash ashore in her mind, and as bad as usually felt about falling into that, this was just… different. Most people would be pleased to be asked to be a Queen or Empress… and most people never got to see what it did to the people placed in that position. The strain, the private wars waged between crown and council… You would have to be mad to simply accept it.
"Your mother informed me you applied to the Navy… to the exo-planetary exploration branch, no less," Father disclosed to her. He smiled brightly as he stroked her cheek. "My daughter, the explorer… I should have known you would have such lofty ambitions. I was so proud to hear of that. I am so proud, and so very ashamed that I ask to chain you to this responsibility."
Alexandrine looked into her father's expression. She did not doubt how much he seemed to regret he felt at the idea he was going out of his way to destroy a future she envisioned for herself.
"What happens should I accept?" Alexandrine spoke up, ending her long silence. Her tear stained face looked up and met her father's narrowed eyes.
Her father was gone, the Kaiser was back and he was not about to mince his words.
"Your personal life ends, your goals and aspirations are replaced with a duty until the end of your days. You lose your individuality and become the embodiment of the state and over 120 million souls will look to you for guidance," Father informed her, taking her hand without any resistance. "But in this loss of freedom, you will be their voice, you will be the strength of the nation, you could shape the relationships of our global neighbours, you will be the chief mourner when the geth conflict begins… and ultimately, you will be the first human to represent our species to the Citadel Council when we make ourselves known."
Meeting the alien races on their Citadel station… that alone perked her interests. Her entire left, she spent learning about what was outside the Solar system: the species, the settled worlds, the seemingly infinite undiscovered worlds and wonders. If she could not be an explorer, what was stopping her from leaving Earth to venture out there as a diplomatic envoy of sorts?
"For now, I have gathered all of the instructors you will need to be successful," Father continued, bringing her interstellar aspirations back to Earth. "Diplomats to teach you about the relations we have with our global neighbours, socialites to teach you how to comingle with the politicians and exploiters you will have to wine and dine, educators to maintain your education and enhance it should you wish to pursue a post-secondary education. It is important that you retain some of your aspirations, even if it may be a shadow of what you wanted."
There was a strained pause, as if her Father was figuring out how he wished to word the next part.
"I also managed to secure a Heer Generalmajor to mentor you. Or, at least I will once you go to his home and prove you would be worth his time," he said as he stepped out of the bathroom, Alexandrine close behind him. "He's on the Wehrmacht Council, and is risking a career by simply entertaining being a teacher to you. Impress him, and you will have an inside look at the Council and the Wehrmacht apparatus as a whole."
He trailed off and examined her.
"Of course this is all stipulated on if you want to accept your role as the Kronzprinzessin." He finished.
Alexandrine stood there in silence, her head bowed as she finally heard the title spoken freely by her father: Kronzprinzessin… Crown Princess… She did not reply to her father. She didn't want to say it. She felt sick even do it, but slowly she forced herself to nod.
She glanced to him and noticed as her father looked somewhere between thrilled and upset.
"Don't pretend you're shocked that I will," Alexandrine muttered mutinously. "I can't… say no to you. It wouldn't be right when you're…"
Alexandrine trailed off; still she was unable to finish the words she dreaded to speak. Her father seemed to understand the plight. Of course he did, it was not that long ago since Grandfather approached him and told him his life was effectively over. He stepped forward to face her, his fingers touching her chin to lift it.
"I'm a manipulative bastard having come here in my condition on your birthday no less," the Kaiser spoke, his voice trembling with apparent regret. "I should have told you sooner, but you were still so young when the prognosis worsened. I… held out for as long as I could; that perhaps I could fight my cancer back to a remission and give me enough time to warm you to the throne; but the hour is drawing near now, and I cannot leave the throne without someone I believe in."
Pulling away from her father's hand, Alexandrine properly looked at him on his own accord. Her mouth was pursed together as she struggled to say the words that sickened her to say, yet knew she would inevitably submit to. She breathed unsteadily, her hand pushing through the length of her hair.
"If I do it… You have to make me a promise," Alexandrine's hoarse voice finally spoke up, catching her father's attention fully. "Promise me that you'll fight, that you'll fight to live every day; and when I turn 25, you can abdicate to a quiet life."
With only a moment of hesitation, Father leaned in and pressed his lips to his daughter's forehead. It was a fanciful dream, but that was it. He could not help but laugh slightly.
"I… can't promise you that," Father answered her request as he pulled back. "I will… I will promise you though, that I shall fight for every day that I can to provide you with enough time to learn."
Alexandrine knew it was delusional, but she had to try. She stood there in a state of silence. With Father standing there, Alexandrine fell onto her knee, her head bowed for a moment before she finally nodded to him. It was not enough for the Kaiser. His hand fell onto his daughter's shoulder.
"I need to hear you say the words, Alexandrine," Father requested, searching her face for any sort of faltering. "I need you to tell me you take up this task. Will you be the heir to the throne? Will you be the protectorate of this nation and her people when I am gone?"
With another wave of nausea washing over her, Alexandrine lowered herself down onto her knees and bowed her head to her father and Kaiser. She noticed the Kaiser's hand outstretched to her waiting for it to be taken. She took it into hers, and with a moments more reluctance, she kissed his hand.
"As you wish…. I'll be your Crown Princess, your majesty…" she murmured, her voice deadened and drained.
And with that, Crown Princess Alexandrine's fate was sealed; forever chained to the throne and to the Fatherland.
…
…
One thing that stresses me out is writing about prominent people who are still alive. I wrote about the Elizabeth (who is an institution at this point, and Phillip (who died only in the last month or so long after I wrote it. I don't know, time has lost all meaning this last year)
Louis Ferdinand II died in 1977 in a Bundeswehr training accident. With no Bundeswehr and a crown in place, children of the Kaiser are generally watched over a little better. Donata, Georg Friedrich and Cornelia are real people as well. I do not know how much I will write about them. They are all alive as of 2007 and while I think I can gauge a decent writing for Georg and Donata only they are more public citizens then they are in our timeline, I feel wholly underqualified to write Cornelia who does have Down's syndrome. No matter how much I look into interviews with people with the impairments, studies about the impairment I don't want to make it come off as cheap or token, or whatever.
Creating an original heir gives me room to develop a character that doesn't stretch living people into something they aren't. That was one of my issues with the original attempts. The Kaiser character would be real and that didn't sit right with me.
Alright, That's it for what I have fully completed. I'll be back soon with one more that is nearly done then I'll be working on the next batch.