Anyone else notice that in the beginning of Nathan's paperwork with Bill to adopt Allie that Colleen was going by her maiden name, not her married name? He called her a Grant not a Parks. Things just keep getting curiouser and curiouser!

Chapter 4

If Nathan's Protective Side is the Size of Canada, Ruth's is the Size of the North American Continent!

The day of Allie's adoption ceremony was bright and clear. The Grants were all dressed nicely. Lee had driven them into town to drop them off at the Judge's Office. Allie's friends were all lined up early and dressed in their Sunday best. There was a large supportive group of happy kids watching and waiting for Nathan and Allie to go through the ceremony.

Bill started the ceremony with obvious pride at being the one to be the official judge in this case.

Nathan had promised to never abandon her, like she had requested, and it was the easiest promise he would ever make, because that was part of his life's purpose. When the ceremony was done, everyone cheered and embraced the new father and daughter.

"We've closed the café for everyone to have tea in celebration of your new status. It's Clara's gift to you both," Bill said loudly. The student's cheered loudly.

"Thanks, Bill," Nathan said as he shook Bill's hand.

"This has been my favorite day on the job so far," Bill admitted with a large smile.

Nathan and Allie both smiled.

"Come on, Dad," Allie said happily as she pulled on Nathan's arm.

Hearing Allie call him "dad" made this the best day in Nathan's life so far.

Bill, Archie, and Ruth all saw his reaction and all were laughing at him.

"You better go, or Allie is going to be angry at you, Dad," Bill pointed out as he teased Nathan. "We'll get Ruth to the café."

Nathan nodded in thanks, as Allie dragged him out of the door.

"This is my Dad!" Allie would greet anyone who they passed on the street.

Nathan was becoming more and more embarrassed by the attention, but he didn't say anything, because Allie was this excited.

Elizabeth was holding Little Jack in her arms and standing on the saloon boardwalk as Allie and Nathan had passed. Jack waved in greeting to them. Allie waved back lightly, with much less enthusiasm than was normal for her. They walked inside the café and were greeted by a chorus of cheers.

Ruth and Archie followed slowly behind them. Bill stopped in his path on the way to the café to stop next to Elizabeth.

"How are you doing?" Bill asked after he took Jack into his arms for a moment.

"It's hard to not be in there," Elizabeth admitted softly.

Bill nodded knowingly.

"I figured you would struggle with it, but you're doing the right thing by staying away...for now," Bill said.

"How was the ceremony?" Elizabeth asked, desperate to know something.

"As wonderful as you can imagine," Bill said as he passed Jack back before walking to the café himself.

Later that night, Rosemary was in her kitchen catching up with Elizabeth.

"I'm glad that you've stuck it out this long, Elizabeth. We all thought you would cave after a few days," Rosemary said.

Elizabeth gave her a glare of reprimand.

"How are you doing?" Rosemary asked.

Elizabeth sighed.

"It's hard to not be allowed in their lives. I want to know what's going on. And I get the feeling that Mrs. Grant doesn't like me," Elizabeth said.

"Have you met her officially?" Rosemary asked, taking a sip of her tea.

Elizabeth shook her head.

"No. Not officially, but when she arrived she stared me down when Igot involved in a fight between some of my students," Elizabeth said.

"Well, can you blame her? She's obviously going to take Nathan's side in this. To her you're just the woman who broke his heart...and Allie's heart…" Rosemary stated dramatically.

Elizabeth gave her a look again.

"Sorry, my dear, but from her perspective, that's what you are. And she must know how deeply he and Allie feel. Nathan was truly shocked that she came out for the ceremony. Her health and mobility is just as poor as everyone always said, she wouldn't have come out just for a two hour celebration. She's here because she wants to protect them," Rosemary pointed out.

"Protect them?" Elizabeth asked incredulously.

Rosemary nodded a few times.

"Nathan will always be her little boy, just like Jack will always be yours. How long would you allow someone to keep toying with his emotions before you got involved?" Rosemary asked as she pointed up.

"Not long," Elizabeth admitted in the hypothetical situation.

"Nathan has to get his protectiveness from someone. I would bet it is Ruth," Rosemary added.

Elizabeth nodded in agreement.

That same night in the Grant house, Ruth had given Allie her mother's charm bracelet.

"This was mom's?" Allie caressed it in reverence.

Ruth nodded.

Allie was looking down at the charms: a book, a pen, a dog, a heart, dancing shoes, a few things that Allie couldn't quite identify.

"This is beautiful, thank you," Allie said gently.

"Colleen never took hers off. Even when people claimed that she had outgrown them. She argued loudly that it didn't matter. She was beautiful inside and out. And you're just like her in the best ways," Ruth said as she held Allie's face.

"Do you think I have my biological dad in me at all?" Allie asked with worry.

"Everyone is a certain combination of their parents, so I'm sure you are. But I also know that you are the best pieces of Grants, and you officially have the name to prove it," Ruth said reassuringly. Allie smiled before yawning.

"You should go to bed. It's been a long few days," Nathan said as he watched her struggling to stay awake.

Allie nodded and said good-night and kissed them both before going to bed.

Ruth looked at her son for a long moment.

Nathan looked back at her.

"I also have a gift for you. It's some of Colleen's things," Ruth said as she pulled out a large envelope. She pushed it over to Nathan, who was looking at her in surprise.

Nathan just pulled open the envelope and found one of Colleen's journals, but this was one she had made specifically for him.

"Colleen's journal of big sisterly advice...just in case," Nathan said with tears in his eyes. "I thought I had lost this."

"I figured I would give it to you when you needed it, but I forgot that you don't share your issues with the rest of us since Colleen," Ruth said with a hint of admonishment.

Nathan shrugged but took the journal and flipped it open and looked back at the long neat cursive of Colleen's handwriting.

"Go ahead and find a place that's private," Ruth said.

Nathan smiled in thanks. He grabbed his coat and walked out into the night air. Without thinking about it, he walked to the fishing hole and sat down to read.

Colleen had created a table of contents for the different sections of the journal. She had advice for a lot of life's big events. Graduating. Opening Up. Getting Married. Becoming a Father. First Heartbreak.

Colleen had written them when he went off for Mountie Training, and she knew they weren't going to see each other everyday. It was her way of protecting him if she couldn't be around.

Nathan flipped open to the First Heartbreak section and started reading;

First of all, how dare she? How dare this female think that hurting you... YOU! Is okay. Let me know her name so that I can find her and give her a piece of my mind in person! I truly hope you never have your heart broken so badly that you need to read this, but I also know that you are the most understanding, kind, and generous person I know. It will take you a while to get there, but I know that when you fall in love, it will only be once. So, I truly do hope that she realizes how stupid and crazy she is for letting you go. And if she doesn't, I hope that I am wrong about you only falling once, and that the next woman is everything you've ever dreamed about in a wife. I also know that you may want to keep the possibility of this love strong and open, but know that it's okay to leave and close off that relationship. But also know that it's nothing about you, and everything about her.

Nathan laughed through some of his tears at the intro. Colleen was more protective than he was. She had felt that since he was the quiet one, it was her duty to speak up for him.

He then flipped to the Becoming a Father.

Nathan, as much as I would like to think you're first child will be yours naturally, and I will be a happily doting Auntie to your scores of children, I also know you well enough to know that getting married for you, isn't exactly on the forefront of your mind or goals, so you're not exactly trying, which means that your fatherhood will come about as a result of you raising my children. So, I'm sorry for any of my future husband's issues becoming a problem. But I'm also quite certain that my children are in the best hands. You'll love them and protect them the way I would have. Please know that I can't thank you enough for being that person. It is not what you had planned for yourself. But I do think you're going to be amazing at it!

Nathan sat as he processed his sister's words, written out even before she had met Dylan Parks, long before any of their adult suffering. She just knew him well enough to guess and predict his habits, even back then.

They had been best friends. They were each other's rocks in a tumultuous ocean of unfairness and pain. Then she died. Dylan had proved what a worthless coward he was by taking off. Nathan had to admit that taking in Allie, was the only reason he was still alive, especially right after her death. He would have focused on his work, and that would have put him in more danger.

Nathan took a few moments to collect himself before going home.

It was a few days later that Ruth was actually in and around the town to help Allie buy things and pack for their trip. Allie had agreed to stay that summer for a little while and see how she liked it.

Ruth was using a cane to shuffle along on. She was going to the library in order to return Allie's book. She had been looking down as she shuffled inside and closed the door behind her, when she heard a soft feminine "oh" of surprise and looked up.

Elizabeth Thornton stood next to a shelf and had been reading to her son.

The woman looked at her in surprise and hope.

Ruth glared at the presumption.

"It really is quite impossible to go anywhere in this town and not run into you or Bouchard in some way," Ruth said stiffly. "I realize that you're on summer break, but doesn't he have two jobs? Shouldn't he be AT them once in a while."

"Lucas actually works very hard," Elizabeth defended.

"I'm sure," Ruth said firmly.

"I'm glad that you came in actually," Elizabeth said.

Ruth raised an eyebrow.

"I've been wanting to meet you," Elizabeth explained.

"Why? If I were you, I would be avoiding me," Ruth glared.

Elizabeth nodded in acknowledgement.

"That's fair, but you're still important to them, and as Allie's teacher…" Elizabeth started.

"That really should be as far as you take that statement, Mrs. Thornton. I'm aware of Allie's school grades, her love of math, and her sudden need to avoid THIS library. Perhaps you should have someone ELSE run it," Ruth said tersely as she dropped Allie's library book on the table for the returns.

Elizabeth flinched as she had noticed that Allie had stopped going to the library herself and hadn't wanted to admit the truth. Elizabeth looked up the sign with the Emerson quote for some small amount of courage. Ruth followed her gaze.

"Why do you keep that up?" Ruth asked in a deadly whisper.

"It gives me strength," Elizabeth replied in a whisper.

Ruth scoffed.

"The strength to do what, exactly? Not have an honest conversation after you ran...no...no you galloped away from someone confessing to you. To encourage him for a year that you wanted him to ask, and that was all it would take for you to say yes...and when he did you said no and spit in his eye. To make HIM feel guilty about YOUR actions and YOUR bad choices," Ruth hissed in anger.

Elizabeth looked startled.

"You're lucky Colleen isn't alive. She would have had your hide when you tried to do HIS job when he was already on it. You've NEVER apologized to him. He has always been the one to do that with you. But you've been in the wrong yourself, Elizabeth Thornton. I don't much like the looks of you as you are. Nathan and Allie, and everyone else in this town, see a brave, respectable woman, but all I've seen is a coward! A coward whose way of dealing with her fears is to push them away, instead of dealing with them. So, I suggest you get rid of that plaque because it's not doing you any good, and I'm certain your beau won't be happy with displaying Nathan's work in his library. Perhaps he can order you one that's more to your ostentatious tastes," Ruth sneered as she stormed away.

Elizabeth immediately shut and locked the door behind Ruth. Then let her tears fall. Rosemary was the one who came looking for her. She knocked gently.

"Elizabeth, let me in," Rosemary asked softly.

Elizabeth didn't move.

"Elizabeth, please let me in," Rosemary asked again.

Elizabeth was still staring at the plaque.

Rosemary sighed and then walked away. She returned some time later with Bill who picked the lock easily and let Rosemary and himself in.

"Wow, Elizabeth, what happened?" Bill asked as he looked at her.

"Nathan said his mother happened," Rosemary whispered.

"Nathan got you?" Bill asked in surprise.

Rosemary nodded.

Rosemary said softly to Elizabeth, "He knew you would need someone to be there, despite your tiff."

"This doesn't feel like a tiff," Elizabeth said softly.

Bill and Rosemary both looked at her in concern and then both sat next to her. Bill let Jack sit in his lap.

"What's happened?" Rosemary asked.

"Ruth came in to return Allie's library book. She wasn't expecting anyone to be in here," Elizabeth said.

Bill and Rosemary waited for Elizabeth to continue.

"She made it very clear that she didn't want to be introduced to me. She also made it clear that she thinks everyone here is misguided about who I am as a person. She doesn't like what she sees," Elizabeth said with new tears in her eyes. "...and to be honest, I don't like the way she sees me either."

Bill and Rosemary both looked at her.

"Ruth, Mrs. Grant, pointed out that I haven't been fair to Nathan for a lot longer than just after the prisoner transfer went wrong. She pointed out that Colleen would have had words with me, even before then," Elizabeth said. "And, I shouldn't care about this the way that I do, but somehow not getting their approval hurts."

Rosemary pulled her into a hug.

"She said that I've always made Nathan the guilty party in our problems, and that he was the one always apologizing."

Bill nodded.

"You agree with her?" Rosemary asked in shock.

"Yes, otherwise they wouldn't be fighting right now," Bill stated. "A man can only take so much rejection and pain, Elizabeth."

"It's okay, because when I thought back to all of our interactions, and our fights and disagreements, I realized that I have never actually spoken the words 'I'm sorry' to Nathan," Elizabeth said.

"Elizabeth, you need to really think about what you want," Bill said. "It wouldn't surprise me if Ruth and Archie convince Allie to stay with them while Nathan is here waiting for a transfer."

Elizabeth sucked in a painful breath.

"Archie and Ruth are living together? I thought she was insisting on not talking with Archie?"

"This is all very new," Bill replied.

"Meaning because of me," Elizabeth shook her head. "Are they really hurting that badly?"

Bill glared at her.

"Of course they are. Nathan's in love with you and has been for a good long while. And he doesn't know how to stop. How would you feel if Jack had left you for another woman?" Bill asked.

Elizabeth sucked in the most painful breath she had in a while with that thought.

"That's how much Nathan is hurting," Bill said knowledgeably.

Elizabeth cried for a bit more.

"I'm going to take Jack and go do my own rounds. We'll let you process what you need to feel," Bill said as he stood with Jack in his arms.

Rosemary nodded as she stood up. They all said good-bye as they relocked Elizabeth into the library.

When Elizabeth felt calm enough to move around, she started to process the returned books, and discovered that Ruth Grant had dropped a journal in her anger and rush to leave. Elizabeth picked it up and opened the front to see who it belonged to.

Collen M. Grant's Journal of Big Sisterly Advice….Just in Case…

Elizabeth dropped the journal in shock. This was written by Colleen for Nathan, and that made it extra special. When she had dropped the journal in surprise, the journal had lain open on the last pages that had been used. For First Heartbreak and Becoming a Father.

Elizabeth knelt down next to the journal and edged a careful finger tip up around the pages. She read the father one first. Then after she agreed with everything on the page with what she knew about Nathan, she turned to the one about heartbreak. And it was this one that ripped a piece of her own heart into the ether.

Colleen would be angry with her, and Ruth was right in the fact that she would have had her hide. In just two entries, Elizabeth could sense the strong bond of the siblings. Colleen knew Nathan well enough, even back then to predict him decades later. Elizabeth carefully picked up the journal, grabbed some paper, and a pen and sat down.

She was going to write Colleen a letter of apology, and also return the book.

Once Elizabeth was done with the letter and had secured the journal, she walked to the Mountie Office and couldn't tell if she wanted Nathan to be there or not, but he wasn't so she put the journal on his desk and made sure to carefully shut the door behind her.

Then she walked to the cemetery and stopped by Jack's gravesite. She prayed to him for guidance. Then she walked a short distance away and found an unused spot that had a nice view. She tied two twigs together with a hair ribbon to make a small cross, and then buried the long in down far enough that it stayed.

"Colleen, I know that this is not where you're actually buried, but I think you would like the view. Please feel free to come around here anytime...which you probably already do, because your whole world is in Hope Valley," Elizabeth said as she knelt down and tied the apology letter she had written.