Thx Flora. ;)

Chapter 4

The happiest, most emotional day of my life was when my daughter was born. The tiny princess brought unparalleled joy into my world. Joy and diapers. And spit up. And an astonishing lack of sleep. Yes, so, babies are hard. Even though we were fully grown adults with more than enough 'aunties' ready to leap in and help with her, my tiny, precious, perfect daughter utterly wrecked my wife and me at first. It is quite an adjustment.

However, I knew none of this as an arrogant college student who assumed everything would come to me as easily as school did. I thought taking care of a baby could be nothing but silly faces and cuddles and walks with a stroller.

Oh, the hubris of youth.

But, I'm getting ahead of myself again.

It started with a Cardian attack, although at the time I hadn't known to call them that. Monsters, I suppose. And what monsters - attacking tiny babies at a local daycare center!

I just happened to be there - right place, right time I suppose - to hear the screams and the panic. Odango Atama was already there, somehow I didn't even question it because of course she'd be here too, why wouldn't she? She was everywhere. It was her thing.

"Call an ambulance!" I cried, and Odango Atama's friend ran into the center to use their phone to call emergency services.

"They'll be here soon," she said when she returned, and I realized with a start it was the same girl from the bus stop a few days ago. But there was no time for that now, it was a blur of checking pulses and helping the barely conscious teachers and workers to sit up.

"Oh…," Odango Atama cried, and her friend and I ran over to see her lifting an infant into her arms. "She seems okay…? But her mom needs medical attention now!"

"Manami…," the daycare teacher murmured, while I was taking her pulse. (It was faint but getting stronger.)

The baby seemed bigger in Odango Atama's arms - she was so young herself, standing wide-eyed and wary like a babysitter in a horror movie.

"Mamoru…," Odango Atama said, looking at me at a loss. I looked at Manami, little bobbing fists and big, innocent eyes.

Finally, finally we heard the sirens.

I still don't know why they let us all in the ambulance with baby Manami and her mother, but I was glad. I didn't want to let Manami out of my sight.

Looking back, I'm sure I could psychoanalyze my attachment to Manami as related to my own lonely childhood, along with the emptiness and lack of purpose I didn't even know I was feeling since I was involuntarily 'retired' from my Tuxedo Kamen gig.

And that must be part of the reason why I ended up volunteering to take care of Manami while her mother recovered.

"I'll help you!" Odango Atama chirped from beside me. She'd picked up Manami and held her close. "Ami too!"

The friend, who earlier had introduced herself as Mizuno Ami, shook her head. "Oh, I wouldn't feel right crowding you."

There was some paperwork and other hoops to jump through to become an emergency foster for Manami, and to her credit Odango Atama patiently entertained Manami while I filled out my information.

The baby seemed to like her, reaching chubby little fists toward her hair, even grabbing and pulling a pigtail toward her mouth in a way that must've hurt, but Usagi just laughed. "I don't think that would taste very good," she said, giggling. "Do you want a bottle?"

I helped her untangle the strands of hair from Manami's strong grip but the baby was determined, and yanked again - hard. To her credit, Usagi cringed a little but kept her gentle hold on Manami.

"Guess she wants odango," I couldn't help saying and Usagi made a face at me. I finally got her free, and without thinking brushed the lock of hair back behind her shoulder. It was damp with baby spit and a bit tangled, but still awfully silky.

I suppose it's no secret that - even when we first met - no matter what I told myself I thought of her, or how much I teased her about it, that damn hair made me weak. Always had. Always will. But, ahem, I digress….

"We'd better get her home," I said, gathering the baby bag and stroller. "She's probably getting hungry." She'd just been fed a bottle before we left, but don't babies need to eat every few hours?

When we came to the intersection outside of the hospital, I turned right and Usagi turned left. "Um…?" she said, looking confused. "Aren't we going to my house?"

I felt affronted. I was the one who had volunteered to care for Manami, we were going to my apartment, thankyouverymuch.

By the time we got Manami settled in my place, it was early evening. And though she'd been perfectly happy during our walk, she was now starting to fuss - unhappy whines and a few cries peppered in.

"No worries Mamoru! I will find out what's wrong!" Usagi declared, pulling a book out of Manami's baby bag and flipping through it. At the time, I didn't know her well enough to remark on how it must be an emergency if it got her to crack open a book. (I still mourn that missed opportunity. Don't tell Usako.)

My silly faces and plethora of toys I'd dug out from the bag seemed to make the baby happy, and then suddenly Odango Atama was next to me, also making faces and cooing and Manami belly laughed.

I felt an irrational jealousy. She'd made Manami laugh?

"Okay, you can go home now, Odango Atama," I said. I picked up the baby, who looked distressed for a moment when Usagi was out of her view. Uh. Ouch. "I'm the one who volunteered to help with her, so I'll handle it from here. Get going."

I was able to make Manami giggle, and I heard Usagi huff and stubbornly she sat next to me, clearly not planning on going anywhere.

She leaned her head on my arm, and the sudden warmth and scent of vanilla shampoo made me glance over in consternation. I honestly remember my main thought process being something like: Huh?

Usagi blushed violet and shifted over, clearly incredibly embarrassed. She started babbling about my place being tidy and then Manami started crying and my brain had to switch on again.

"Maybe she wants her bottle," I said, and Usagi - clearly still trying to prove she could be a help - snatched the formula and empty bottle from my hands.

"I'll handle this!" she triumphantly claimed, and disappeared into the kitchen. Manami kept crying, no matter what I did to comfort her. And when Odango Atama reappeared from the kitchen…. Well, I think more of the formula got on her than in the bottle.

But, the baby didn't want to eat. "What could be wrong?!"

We were both guessing, although I tried to make it sound like I knew better - throwing out suggestions about bottle temperature and diaper changing in cool control while Usagi flitted around on the verge of panic.

Still, it had been nice to have the company. I found that out at night, when Manami woke every two hours, hungry and confused and definitely lonely for his mother.

Oh yes, I said 'his'. Odango Atama discovered - much to her extreme surprise - that Manami, despite his feminine name, was a little baby boy - complete with little baby boy parts. Her shriek of "she has a pee-pee!" would amuse me for weeks to come.

But I am, yet again, getting ahead of myself.

My pretend confidence in babycare at least fooled someone, because Usagi was duly impressed. "The way you understand babies is so amazing!" She'd said as Manami enjoyed his first bottle at his temporary home.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see her looking at me intensely. "So, do you have any babies of your own?" It was absolutely an accusation.

"Have you lost it? Of course I don't!" What did she think? Did she know me at all?

She giggled apologetically but didn't, actually, apologize.

I turned my attention to the baby, who seemed easier to understand than the whims of my co-babysitter. "This is 'milk'," I told him, as he emptied his bottle. "Try saying it."

"Oh come on! Manami is still just a little baby! He won't be saying anything anytime soon, he's way too young!" She was lecturing as if she'd spent years studying early childhood education and I couldn't help the fond amusement rising in my chest.

She was distressingly adorable.

But it was pretty funny watching her encourage Manami to walk, holding him up and then letting go - only for him to plop right back down on his diapered bottom, looking at her with the most banal expression.

"Obviously, the little kid can't stand on his little legs yet," I said, mirroring her lecturing tone, totally amused. "All he can do is crawl! Asking him to walk is just out of the question."

"Well then I guess when it comes to babysitting, I'm just useless!" Usagi burst out, and again - as was happening more and more with her - my brain short-circuited to just: huh?

"Hmpf!" She turned her back on me dramatically. Seriously? She was here to help with the baby and instead she's acting like one!

"Look, Odango Atama, we are good here. Just go," I said, picking up Manami. It was getting dark anyway.

"Don't have to ask me twice!" she snapped, grabbing her things.

I conjured barely enough strength to avoid pointing out that, actually, yes, I had had to ask her twice.

"Bye, bye Manami," she coo'ed, running a finger down Manami's chubby cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow."

She left without saying goodbye to me.

Which was fine. Now I was finally left alone to take care of the baby by myself.

Yes. Hubris.

So that's how I found myself exhausted to the bone, wearing my carpet down as I walked a circuit around and around my place, dodging diapers and toys and spit-up covered clothes (both his and mine) scattered everywhere. Formula residue was all over the counters - and not just from Odango Atama's disaster, but my own mishaps while struggling to make a bottle while a baby wailed and thrashed in my arms.

Still, now he was dozing heavily on my shoulder, and I felt more peaceful than I remember feeling in a long time. "I'm sorry you don't have your mother," I murmured to him. "Hopefully I'm an okay substitute."

"Well, not just me," I added, softly. Manami sighed in his sleep. "I know Odango Atama has been a handful but you sure seem to like her, don't you?" He stirred and I realized I'd stopped walking. "Oh, sorry." He settled back down as soon as I was pacing again.

"I mean, I like her too, you know?" I kept murmuring. My voice seemed to soothe him as well as the movement. "She can be a handful… and she's so… weird." I kicked a pile of dirty bibs aside with my foot, crossed into the kitchen. "I don't understand some of the things she says. She hates me, then she claims she loves me, then she's indifferent to me, asking if I have kids?"

Manami's pacifier moved in his mouth as he dreamed. "I just don't get her. I don't understand how I'm supposed to relate to her."

"Did you know her name is Tsukino Usagi? Her full name. Rabbit of the Moon. I mean, she's… something else."

I realized I'd stopped moving, and Manami hadn't woken. The digital clock by my bed said 3:46am.

Slowly, sloooowly, as if I was defusing a bomb, I put Manami down in his bassinet, holding my breath until both my hands were free and the baby rolled to his side and stayed asleep.

I fell onto my bed and I think I was asleep before my head even hit the pillow. I slept heavy, without any dreams, until Manami woke with the first rays of sunlight at dawn.

tbc! (obvi!)