Chapter 4: The Kiss of Life

The hotel was plain and simple, what else was there to ay about it really. The sheets were white and crisp and the room had that generic chain hotel feel about it when you enter with the condiments on the side on a small desk. Carla chucked her bag down on the floor by the desk and immediately worked on making a brew for them both not that it would be up to much of a high standard. Peter sat comfortably on the bed and Carla smiled at him as she hung her leather jacket up on the pegs on the back of the door, she beckoned with her hand for Peter to give him his jacket so she could do the same.

He just stared her down and if he was honest to himself he was amazed at how much she changed, she had that spark back but it wasn't the one when he first fell in love with her all those years ago. It was odd to consider her changing when she had very much been the same throughout their relationship together and this was almost shocking to him, a welcome distraction though.

Carla placed the cup of tea in his hands and he smiled gratefully before watching her slide her boots off and sit up against the headboard, she smiled and pat the bed beside her and soon enough he got the message that he should do the same. They just sat there and didnt say a word, she knew Peter was struggling and she was the one who wanted to give him the opportunity to talk knowing he needed her to listen to make him feel better.

"Here," he says passing her a photo, she frowns slightly and takes in the image "You should probably know the truth"

"I don't understand," she says quietly looking down at the picture, Peter smiles and tilts his head to the side "You got married?"

"Yeah" he smiles slightly, she looks up at him and raises her eyebrows, "You told me to move on with my life remember and I did except it was all a lie to help me forget you, the marriage broke down as a result"

"So what? Where...I dont understand" she says looking at the image

"She was just some girl in Portsmouth. After I came out of prison I was hated, ironic really considering we didnt do anything did we?"

"Yeah, I guess" Carla shrugs passing him the photo back, he smiles passing her another one "Woah hold on-"

"Look before you freak out," he says taking her hand, she groans in annoyance pinching the bridge of her nose "She died"

"What?" Carla exclaims before Peter shakes his head

"Not her" Peter groans looking at the photo, he pulls out the previous one he showed her "Her..."

"Oh" Carla frowns still kind of confused "But...I dont understand, what was her name?"

"Who?" he chuckles slightly looking at both of the photos, Carla points to the one of Peter and his ex-wife "Anna, it moved too fast, I was trying to get over you and she knew that. She was your age as well it was just another substitute no matter how wrong that was"

"That is wrong" she confirms with a nod, she picks up the other photo "But this one?"

"My daughter" he states, Carla shakes her head getting up and pacing the room "I know this is hard to comprehend Carla"

"You're telling me!" she scowls slightly, she wasn't sure if it was jealously or grief but she was sure her emotions were going to boil over now "So where then?"

"With my dad" he states, Carla clenches her jaw and glares at him

"I dont understand what you want from me"

"When Anna passed away, it was tragic Carla, I wasnt in love with her as I said but we were friends, I grieved for her. Turned out during the accident she was pregnant, almost six months, she didnt look it but it was her first baby they said and sometimes you dont show. They operated and the baby survived, Anna didnt, her body never recovered, she had no family left and that was the appeal I guess and thats so wrong for me to say"

"So you have the baby girl you always wanted then," Carla says, Peter nods slowly "How old is she?"

"Five months old now" Peter smiles taking his phone out, he swipes through the photos and passes them to Carla who smiles slightly

"What's her name?"

"Anna never wanted kids" he admits, Carla nods slowly sitting on the edge of the bed "I didnt really know what to call her if I was honest but my dad he helped, we eventually settled on Isabella"

"Thats a sweet name" Carla smiles still looking at the photos "If you have all of this in your world Peter how do you feel so low, I don't mean to be judgemental when I say that but..."

"Sometimes you sit back and look at your life and think...why did I do the things I did and that maybe if I did them differently I wouldn't have ended up where I was today. You learn to cherish the good things in life, a new baby, a son who finally sees you for the man that you are and more importantly love but no matter how hard I tried Carla I couldnt do that because you were in my head. Isabella and Simon are my world, they always will be but even that isnt enough sometimes"

"I love you," she says looking into his eyes, he frowns "I do"

"All I want to do is feel like me again Carla," he says quietly, she nods slowly and bites her lip "Will you help me?"

"I don't see how I can," she says "I'm not a professional am I?"

"I just need someone who understands me and you know me inside and out, I just need someone to cry with, to share the good times with and more importantly I need to feel alive again so I can be the father I deserve to Simon and Isabella"

"I want to be that person but..."

"But what?" he questions, she sighs and shakes her head "Baby, please don't bail on me now"

"I just..." she trails off, she knew she needed to be honest because Peter was fragile right now "I don't want to hurt you"

"What do you mean?" he asks cupping her face in his hands, she looks downwards "Baby"

"Ok" she breathes out ignoring her instincts to be weak and back out, Peter's feelings were more important right now "I'll help you"

"Thank you" he whispers resting his forehead against hers, he lets out tears and so does she, it wasn't long before his lips were on hers and they were undressing and touching each other's bodies in the way they had craved ever since they had gone to prison that one time, this really was the kiss of life...