Author's Note: I've been asked why I just don't post the entire story at once rather than posting chapter by chapter. For those not familiar with the process, each chapter takes approximately 5 minutes to upload. This story has over 45 chapters which means it would take more than 3.5 hours to upload all the chapters at once. Therefore I do it one at a time when I have a few minutes to spare. If you'd rather wait until the entire story is uploaded, I respect your choice.

Chpt. 3 APOV:

"Ms. Steele, can I speak with you a moment privately?" Mark asks as soon as I arrive and check in.

"Ummm…I need to meet Christian in 5 minutes," I say quietly.

"It won't take long, but I'll text him and let him know you're meeting with me," he assures me.

Although I've been given a brief introduction into punishments in this lifestyle, I prefer to avoid them at all costs so I prefer not to be late to my sessions with Christian. The last two days I have arrived exactly five minutes before each schedule start time as he indicated I should. I've been in the room waiting when Christian arrives on time. The last two days have focused on furniture, even though Simpson and I had already practiced on most of them Christian thought it might be different being naked. So I've been strapped to the St. Andrew's cross, a spanking bench, stocks, cross bars in different positions and restrained from the ceiling. I thought doing this would be humiliating, especially in front of Christian. But…it wasn't. I certainly didn't enjoy it and wouldn't say it was comfortable, but he made it tolerable. He hasn't touched me since the first day, other than to strap me to the different pieces of furniture. I didn't tell him, but being naked on those pieces of furniture was different than even just being in my panties and bra. I felt more exposed, vulnerable even.

Most of our sessions are in the late afternoon/early evening hours so I've spend my mornings researching BDSM at home. Even though Mark warned us not to, I couldn't help but google BDSM. The videos of scenes I saw were…interesting. Some seemed tasteful where you could actually see that the dom cared about the sub, but others….were downright disgusting. Some doms treated subs as if they were nothing more than a body for them to fuck or use however they saw fit. Even though everything I've read and been told stresses that scenes are between two consenting adults, I have a hard time believing that someone would want to be treated like some of those women in the videos.

I don't know what our sessions will entail from day to day, but each day is definitely a learning experience. Following Mark down the hallway I realize I'm more comfortable than during my first visit here when I had no idea what was behind any of the doors. I still haven't seen much, but at least now I know enough to know what to expect when a door opens.

"Please take a seat," Mark gestures to the empty chair in his office where I first sat a month ago when Simpson and I first started training here.

"Thank you," my eyes naturally keep to the floor which has become nearly instinctual from the moment I arrive at the club each day.

"I wanted to talk to you about Christian," well that has my eyes up and my back straight. He must sense my reaction, because he holds his hand up for me to not interrupt him. "I know you were…hesitant to be trained by Christian but now that you've had three sessions with him I thought this would be a good opportunity to see if you were still reluctant?"

"If I…was?" I ask.

"I have another dom who would be willing to train you for the next week or so until we bring you and Simpson back together," he explains.

I don't know what to think. If he would have offered this to me three days ago I would have jumped at the opportunity; anything to have not been in the same room as Christian. Now though, I don't know what to think. I wasn't expecting any other option, so I've sort of prepared myself for seeing him every day. Although I still hate his guts for what he did to me 10 years ago, he's respecting me by not bringing it up since our first sessions together. I wouldn't say I trust Christian because I don't know that I'll ever be able to trust him, but the thought of starting completely over with someone new is frightening. I've gotten to know Christian's tendencies in the room. I like that he explains things to me before he does them even though I know eventually that's going to stop. What if the next person doesn't do that from the start? How do you walk into a room and have a scene with someone you've never met before? That's the part of the lifestyle I just don't understand. I don't know that I could do that.

"I don't know," I answer honestly.

"That's fine," he smiles but I have no idea why. "I have a meeting with Donaldson at the end of the week to update him on your progress. How do you feel your sessions with Christian are going?"

"Good I guess," I shrug not really sure how to answer that.

"Do you feel more prepared to go undercover than you were a few days ago or do you think it that hasn't changed?"

I pause for a few minutes to think before I answer his question.

"I feel like….I think I'm more prepared," I answer honestly. "I've been focused more on my own reactions, remembering what you and Christian told me about how that will give me away."

"That's good, really good," he says. "If you can, try to truly embrace your inner sub. Then those reactions you're worrying about will disappear. Your body's reaction will be true to the situation, not forced."

"I don't think…I mean I'm not a sub," I point out.

"You are, you just haven't embraced it yet," he argues. "When you do, you'll find yourself wanting to please your dom. Then there will be no thought of arguing or asking questions or wondering what he's going to do next, you'll trust him completely."

"Trusting someone that fully…." I say aloud not knowing how to finish the thought.

"It's frightening," he finishes it for me.

"Yes," I agree.

"But when you do, when you trust someone so completely like that, it's unbelievable," he sighs.

"I guess," I don't admit that I can't see myself ever trusting someone that completely. Even with Kevin, and any other guy I've dated, I find it hard to fully trust. I still don't think I have an inner sub but I can't fathom how someone trusts another person so completely that they let them do whatever they want to her without questioning or wondering about it.

"I'll walk you back to your room, Christian is waiting," Mark says essentially ending our conversation.

"Oh…thanks," I reply.

"I'll touch base with you in a few days," he adds before we step out of his office. "And Ana…this is none of my business, but I've known Christian a long time. One day, when you're ready, you should really ask him what happened all those years ago. You weren't the only one who-"

"No," I quickly end that. "You're right, that's none of your business. I'm glad you and Christian are friends, but don't pretend for a minute to know what happened between us."

"I've actually heard his side of what happened, so I know more than you think," he glares at me as if he has some right to be mad. "Perhaps you should do the same before you pass judgement. Things aren't always what they seem."

When Mark opens the door, we turn to go down the hall where Christian is coming from. His eyes jump from me to Mark obviously wondering what we were meeting about.

"Ana, go to our reserved room and get into position. I'll be there in a few minutes," he says glaring at Mark who is glaring right back at him.

CPOV:

"What the hell was that about?" I ask before slamming the door behind me.

"Not that I need to justify my actions to you, but I'm the one the FBI is contracting with these two agents' trainings. I have a right to question either of them about how their training is progressing and if they feel more prepared to go undercover."

"And? What did she say?" I immediately ask.

"She said she was beginning to feel more prepared," he answers.

"I still don't get why the FBI is sending in two inexperienced agents-"

"They're both not inexperienced," he interrupts. "Simpson has actually been undercover numerous times from what I understand."

"Really?" that surprises me.

"They're both inexperienced when it comes to BDSM but that's not really a surprise," he chuckles. "But Simpson has had many successful undercover missions, he's just struggling with this one because he is not dominant in the bedroom."

"I didn't think he had been undercover," I say.

"He has, trust me I asked as many questions as I could about this mission before agreeing to train both of them."

"How is his training going?"

"It isn't," he sighs. "He's too hesitant and has absolutely no confidence in his ability. If anyone gets them called out during this mission it will be him. I had hoped that separating them, and working more one on one with him would make a difference but this morning I had him work with Leila and she was able to top him almost five minutes into the scene."

"Fuck," Leila doesn't usually try to manipulate a dom so for her to get away with it so quickly means she must have sensed his lack of confidence and control.

"I have a call with Donaldson at the end of the week," he adds.

"What are you going to tell him?"

"I'm not sure. I'm hoping Simpson improves between now and then so I have something positive to report. Right now, focus on Ana. Early next week we'll bring them back together and see if where they're both at."

"Will do," I nod.

I head back to the room where I now Ana is waiting for me. The last 3 days have been hell; I've left here every night, gone home and jerked off in the shower at the memory of the scene. Each day is torture; each day she has been naked, bound and open for me yet I can't do a fucking thing. She refuses to talk about what happened 10 years ago even though I know it still weighs heavily on her mind. If I didn't think it would fuck everything up, I'd ask her to ask me about it every day. But I know if I fuck this up she's just going to be trained by someone else which means she'll have someone else touching her.

I can't even think about that fucker Kevin touching her at night. Every night this week he's been waiting for her in the parking lot, no matter what time we finish our sessions he's there at our scheduled end time. It's taken everything in me not to ask her about him; he doesn't seem like a bad guy, but fuck I don't want to think about her lying in bed with him every night. I don't want to think about him touching her, seeing her beautiful body…the body that I was the first one to touch.

Before I know it I'm outside the door to our room, I take a deep breath before opening the door and entering the room. Immediately my eyes find Ana, naked and kneeling on the floor waiting for me. For the last two days, I've tried to detach myself before walking into this room. I've tried to convince myself that it isn't my Ana from 10 years ago that's here. That she is just an FBI agent that needs training to go undercover for a mission. No matter how hard I try though it doesn't change anything; every time I walk in here it's always Ana waiting for me.

Today is no different and knowing what I have planned for today makes it nearly impossible to detach myself.

"Stand," I command when I walk into the room. Her response is immediate with no hesitation.

"Today's session is going to be tough and probably uncomfortable at times," I explain. "You have your safewords to use if you feel the need to however, I don't believe it will get to that point. Do you remember your safewords?"

"Yes sir," she answers quickly.

I take her hands and raise them above her head, quickly attaching them to a restraint that hangs from the ceiling. With a click of a button the restraint raises, just enough to force her to stand straight up but not on her toes. I leave her and walk over to the chest of drawers; I already know what I want but I take a few extra minutes pretending to look through the drawers as if I'm not sure what I'm looking for. Instead I'm giving her time to worry, to wonder what I'm going to do. When she doesn't question me, I put the few items into a cloth bag and return to where she is waiting for me. I place the items on a table just behind her; I know she wants to look, to see what we're going to do today but I have to give her credit, she doesn't move. Her eyes remain glued to the floor as she waits for me.

"Very good," I praise her knowing how it wasn't easy for her.

I place a silk blindfold over her eyes and tie it in the back. I could have and probably should have left the blindfold off for the session. It would help prepare her for needing to do this in front of an audience when people will actually be watching her. It's something I've thought about nearly all day today. The only result was me dealing with an almost constant hard and the inability to focus on anything all day. Roz even snapped at me during a meeting because I had no idea what was going on. Even though I know I should remove the blindfold, I leave it on. Eventually it'll come off when we do a scene like this, but for her first time I expect Ana will be more comfortable with it on and therefore will be more likely to truly submit to what's happening in the scene.

"I'm going to need to touch you today," I warn her. "Do you understand?"

"Yes sir."

I take her breasts in my hands, causing her to gasp as her body tenses. I wait, expecting her to tell me where to go or ask what the fuck I'm doing. But, she doesn't; instead only a few second pass before her body relaxes…not completely but enough that someone not touching her wouldn't be able to tell.

"You're doing great," I whisper to her, assuring her because I know that wasn't easy for her.

I tease her nipples, rolling them between my thumbs and fingers until they're hardened. Keeping my hand on one, I reach into my pocket and pull out the nipple clamps that I grabbed earlier. I met with Mark the other day and received a list of exactly what they're training had consisted of for the last month. While she's had her nipples clamped, they had only used them once but they kept the bite very minimal. My intention is not to cause pain, but she needs to be prepared for clamps with a tighter bite. Not all places stock clamps that have an adjustable bite. When her nipple is perfectly hard, I cringe just before putting the clamp on her. She hisses and groans as her body tenses; I watch her slowly force herself to relax as she blows out the breath she was holding.

She tenses once again when I reach for her other breast, this time though I don't think it's because I'm touching her but rather because she knows what's coming. No matter how much teasing I do, her nipple doesn't harden enough for the clamp to hold without hurting her. I know it's because her mind is focused on the pain that's about to come and not what I'm doing.

"Christian!" she gasps when I take her nipple in my mouth and suck on it. She tries to arch away from me, but I wrap an arm around her waist and hold her firm. The restraint on her arms doesn't give her much ability to move anyway.

It's been more than 10 years, but I still remember how much she loved having her nipples played with. The very first orgasm she had was when I did nothing but play and suck on her nipples. It kills me remembering that day, remembering any day before I left because I remember how happy we both were.

It only takes a few minutes or so for her to relax, for her to go from arching away from me to arching into me. I suck and gently bite at her nipple, remembering all the things that turned her on all those years ago. Her breathing is quicker and I can smell her arousal in the room; it nearly kills me. I'm dying to know if she still tastes as good as I remember she does. Of course I'll never know because I won't take advantage of her to find out but it doesn't stop me from wondering.

"UGH!" she screams out when I place the other clamp on her nipple.

"Very good, you have no idea how beautiful you look with your nipples clamped," I tell her and watch as the blush spreads down her chest as she takes in my words.

"How does it feel?" I ask.

"It fucking hurts," she hisses. "Sir."

"It's uncomfortable, but give it a couple of minutes and the pain will become more of discomfort than actual pain."

If the blindfold wasn't on I can picture her glaring at me, in her head calling me all sorts of names right now. I lower her arms a little and leave her to try to adjust to the new feeling.

"Spread your legs apart a little," she hesitates only a brief second but does what I request. "Now bend over at the waist."

This time there is no hesitation; she's immediately in the position I asked. I put a little lubricant on my fingers, I wrap my opposite arm around her waist knowing she's likely going to want to move away from me before running my fingers along the seam of her sex. She gasps at the sudden touch, but surprisingly doesn't pull away. I ease her into getting used to my touch, while forcing myself to not think about how when we were together she would always arch into my touch. How her body would melt into mine the moment I just kissed her; how she responded to my every touch and how she was always ready for me.

Today is different and I don't have to pretend to understand why. Not only does she hate me, but I'm not the guy who takes her to bed every night. I'm the guy who broke her heart 10 years ago. I'm the guy who is training her for a mission; a mission where her fucking coworker will be touching her like I am right now.

She eventually begins to relax; she allows the restraints above her head to take some of her weight, letting herself simply hang in place. Her body slowly begins to respond to my touch, even as I'm sure she's trying like hell to fight it. When I slip a finger inside of her to test her readiness, I can't help the groan that escapes me at her how fucking tight she still is. Whether she didn't hear me, or was choosing not to acknowledge me, I don't know.

When she's wet enough I put a small amount of lubricant onto the balls that I have waiting. The ben wa balls are very common in BDSM; it will drive her insane with need but it allows her dom to determine when she will come.

"Relax for me," I say as I remove my finger from her now throbbing sex and place one of the balls at her entrance. She tenses for a moment, but quickly forces herself to relax. I push the first ball into her before pushing the second one in; she gasps at the sudden intrusion. I adjust the balls to ensure they're in deep enough that they won't accidently fall out but not in too deep to cause her any discomfort.

"Have you been spanked before Ana?" I ask even though I know the answer to the question.

"Yes sir," she answers immediately.

"Have you been spanked for pleasure before?" I ask.

"N…No….sir," she's confused by my question which doesn't surprise me. I knew there were spanking scenes in the books she read and the movies she watched, but as I told her the first day reading/watching these things and experiencing them are two very different things.

"I want you to count each one for me," I instruct. "You are not to come though, understand?"

"Yes sir," she replies.

I know right now she's likely thinking I'm crazy for assuming she would come from a spanking. I know she doesn't expect to enjoy what's about to happen to her. With her hands above her and her body relaxed, I stand next to her and rub her firm ass.

"One, sir!" she gasps in surprise when my hand first hits her ass cheek. I immediately rub the site where my pink handprint still remains.

"Two sir!" Another one

"Three….sir," her breath is heavier as the ben wa balls move within her with each slap.

"Four….Ohhhhh….sir," another one.

"Five! OH GOD!" she comes just as I knew she would when the final smack hits her a little harder.

I place my hand against her throbbing sex, holding the balls inside of her. While the first orgasm was expected, now the real training begins. A good sub knows how to control her orgasms; she knows that her orgasms belong to her dom. Coming without permission, without asking for permission, will raise a red flag to anyone who has spent time in our community.

"Stand up," I order. When she stands her breathing is still heavy as she tries to recover from her release. I remove her wrists from the restraints, rubbing the redness from them.

"You were told not to come," I let the dissatisfaction come through in my voice even though I'm not really displeased with her.

"Yes sir, I'm sorry sir," her response is briefly delayed as I'm sure she tells me in her head to go fuck myself.

"Today we're going to focus on orgasm control," I explain. "I'm going to bring you to the brink several times, only to stop. You'll need to bring yourself down before we start again. Orgasm control and orgasm denial are common in our lifestyle. Your orgasms belong to your dom; he is the one who determines when and how you come. Although you'll question it, remember he does this with your best interest in mind. Sometimes it's because he wants you to have a stronger orgasm, one that can only be built up over time. Most of the time though it's to help you give up that control that you so badly want to hold onto even though part of you wants to desperately let someone take that control away from you. At times, orgasm denial will also be used as a punishment to remind you of who has that control. You'll need to force your mind to focus on something unpleasant or try to think of something that can hold your attention. Understand?"

"Yes sir," she gulps.

"You'll need to ask permission to come," I reminder her. "I know this is new for you and will be something you struggle with. You need to trust m-" I take a deep breath forcing myself to change what I was about to say. "You need to trust your dom to know when you're getting close to coming, only to stop. To know when you're approaching your limit, to know your body and it's responses."

She shakes her head.

"Would you like to ask a question?" I offer.

"I don't know that I understand how that can happen when the dom and sub don't know each other," she asks quietly. "How does she trust someone she doesn't know? How does he know her body's response so thoroughly if they've haven't scened together before?"

"She trusts the lifestyle she has chosen to embrace," I explain. "She trusts that the dom she has chosen to give to submission to during that scene will honor the lifestyle and the rules of it. The dom only focuses on her during the session, quickly learning how her body responds to his touch. With minutes of a scene beginning he should know what turns her on the most, what turns her off and after a little bit longer how her body tell him she is going to come. Not every scene involves orgasm denial, but every scene requires orgasm control. Only when the sub gives up control of her own orgasms, does she truly submit to the dom she is with."

When she doesn't say anything, I can only hope she's processing my words. She has every right to be concerned; she doesn't trust Simpson and doesn't trust our lifestyle yet. Her hesitancy is just one of the many things that concern me about sending her in undercover. She'll only have someone who barely has confidence in his own ability to gain her trust. Whoever thought that he would be a good dom for this mission is a fucking moron.

"I understand sir," she says quietly, pulling me from my thoughts.

"Let's begin then," I say firmly letting her know the time for questioning is over and the scene has begun.

She gasps when I gently tug on the chain connecting the nipple clamps, urging her to move forward. She doesn't realize it, but by not taking her hand to lead her I'm forcing her to trust me to guide her around the room, around the many pieces of furniture in here safely. When we reach the cross, I turn her around and guide her onto the steps. I strap her in before leaving her there for a few minutes while I cross the room to get a crop.

Walking back over to Ana, I try like hell to forget that it's Ana on the cross in front of me. But just like any other time, it's impossible. I run my hand over her back, smiling when she doesn't tense from my touch. I'm not stupid, I know it doesn't mean she trusts me, but only means that she was expecting me to touch her. However, for some unknown reason it still makes me smile.

"Oh!" she cries out when the first slap of the crop hits her ass unexpectedly.

I slap her ass and the tops of her thighs quickly several times, giving her little down time between each one. The slaps aren't hard, but it's enough to turn her beautiful pale skin pink, leaving small imprints of the crop wherever it lands. With each slap, her body moves back and forth against the cross which in turn move the balls within her, hopefully driving her crazy with need.

"I….I'm close," she pants when I slap her again.

"You're not to come," I remind her just as the crop comes down again.

I deliver five more slaps, each one placed in a different spot and although she's groaning with each one and panting heavily, she hasn't come without permission. Dropping the crop to the floor, I place my hand between her legs, letting her juices coat my fingers before I run them through her slit showing her just how much she enjoyed it.

"Step down," I instruct after releasing her ankles and wrists from the cross.

She does so immediately; I turn her around and again take hold of the chain connected to the clamps. She moans as I'm sure the slight pull of the clamps on her sore nipples goes straight to her sex. I lead her over to the spanking bench before turning her around and laying her down on her back on it. I extend the arm rests before securing her wrists to them. Her ankles are restrained at the bottom next, leaving her once again open to me. I don't even attempt to hide the groan that leaves me when I step between her legs and see her glistening sex. I pick up the wartenberg wheel and lightly glide it over her leg, starting at her ankle and going just to her thigh. I then stop and go to the next leg, repeating the process. When I reach the top of her thigh this time I continue over her hips and to her stomach. It takes a couple passes over her skin before she arching into the wheel. I watch her small imprints it leaves on her body with each pass over her skin. Although I shouldn't, I like that it's leaving my mark on her. No blood is drawn and the marks aren't permanent in anyway, but it doesn't stop me from liking that when she goes to bed tonight she'll see those marks and know that I left them on her. How fucked up is that? I want the woman who hates me the most to think of me tonight when she's lying in bed with another man.

"Please…" her whisper keeps me focused on her rather than on me.

"Do you like the wheel?" I whisper.

"Yes…sir," she pants and groans when I flick the clamp on her nipple.

"Do you want to come?" I ask.

"Please sir," her response is immediate.

"Almost," I slap her sex ever so lightly causing her to jump nearly off the table in response.

I know she's on the edge and I'm proud as hell of her because I know she's fighting it. She's taking everything I'm giving her, focusing on her body's reactions and doing whatever she needs to do to hold back the orgasm. I unbind her wrists and ankles, taking her hand to help her up. I wrap an arm around her waist when she stands sensing her equilibrium is likely off right now.

"Climb onto the bed and kneel in the middle," I instruct after leading her to the bed. Her response is immediate, without hesitation confirming that she's fully into the scene right now and likely not thinking of anything else.

"You're doing wonderful," I assure her as I kneel in front of her on the bed.

I wrap my arm around her waist, keeping her where I want her just as I apply the slightest pressure of the-

"FUCK!" she screams out when the vibrator touches her clit.

"Don't come," I remind her.

"Please…" she begs only seconds later.

"Just a little bit more," I know she's on the edge but she's not at the breaking point yet.

When I change the speed setting of the vibrator, she groans and tries to pull away. Anticipating this, I tighten my hold on her keeping her where I want. She then does what I least expect, she puts her arms on my shoulders and leans into me. It's been so long since she's touched me, so long since I've felt her body against mine even this small amount. All I can think about is letting my throbbing cock free and sliding into her, showing her just who she truly belongs to. Who she'll always belong to.

Fuck me. If I don't end this soon, I'm going to come right in my pants without her even touching me.

"Please….Oh God….please sir," she moans, her breath soft against my neck.

"Do you need to come?" I whisper already knowing the answer.

"YES!" she screams out in frustration.

"Remember what I said earlier Ana," I push her.

"I can't….oh god…..I'm going-"

"No!" I say firmly. "Not yet."

"Please sir….please may I come?" she finally asks permission a few seconds later perhaps finally remembering the conversation.

"Yes, Ana come for me baby," I apply a little more pressure with the vibrator just as she comes apart. I drop the vibrator on the bed and pull her against me, letting her body buck against mine as she rides out the waves of her release. I slip my hand between us, gently rubbing her throbbing sex before I reach in to pull out the ben wa balls.

"CHRIS!" she screams out the name she used to call me which nearly kills me.