"So, are you staying at my house for Christmas or what?" Bella asked as she piled eggs into her mouth... in a very unladylike fashion I might add! I didn't register her words at all. My thoughts were a million miles away, and the sheer amount of eggs entering her small mouth was all I could compute in the present.

I was sitting at the Slytherin table as usual. It was funny to think that only a few short months ago I considered what I had with my parents to be family. No, the people sitting with me now were my true family.

Not long ago I would have been ashamed of myself. Blood purity had meant nothing to me for the first sixteen years of my life. I had written it off as unimportant; as something not even worth considering. How wrong I had been to do so.

The traditions of wizidering kind were absolutely important. Take away the fabric of our world; of that which set us apart and defined us- and who would be then? Why shouldn't we be proud? The Ministry no longer seemed to think we had anything to be proud about, their policy everchanging to be more pro Muggle and Muggleborn at our expense.

We had to fight for each other, and protect our way of life. And I would do just that- fight.

The larger part of my mind turned over a more immediate problem: Evan. The days had continued to pass, and I believed each morning would be the start of THE DAY. The day that Evan would finally make a move, but it never happened. We continued as we started- we were together whenever possible. We touched one another with casual ease (handholding, hugging, resting a hand on a leg or arm). We had romantic conversations with our eyes. But it never went any farther than that.

"Joe! Are you even listening to me?" Bella asked as she waved her hand in front of my face from across the table.

"What?" I asked a bit dazed, and made an effort to pay attention. I knew she would be a bit miffed at having to repeat herself, so I just sat there smiling sheepishly at her.

"I asked if you were coming to my house for Christmas break." She repeated. There was a trace of annoyance in her tone just as I knew there would be.

"If it's alright with your parents…" I trailed off nervously looking down at my breakfast.

"I've already asked them, and they said they'd love it if you came."she replied.

"And the Blacks always come to my parent's Christmas party." Evan smiled from beside me. I was unaware that he'd been listening. Usually if there was food in front of him, the rest of us would have to wait. Food took priority over conversation according to Evan.

"Party?" I asked nervously. They didn't seem to understand that the bulk of my clothes were at my parent's house, and since I no longer associated with my parents (not that they were aware of this break in ties), I had nothing to even wear to this so called party.

"Yeah Joe, party. It's this thing where a large group of people get together and dance, and do other-"Bella tried to sarcastically comment.

"Shut up Bella, I know what a party is. I've just never been to one that wasn't something for my parent's jobs, nor do I have anything to wear." I said, and explained my clothes situation; unless they wanted me to wear my school uniform to the party-Bella looked scandalized by the suggestion.

"You can borrow something of mine." She told me as if it were that simple.

"We are not the same size, nor do we have similar coloring. I would probably look ghastly in one of your dresses." I pointed out. There was no way we could wear the same clothes. Not to mention that neither Bella nor I were particularly gifted with fitting charms.

"You can borrow a dress from me." A dreamy voice answered a couple of seats down. The speaker was of course, Tony Lestrange. She was dark headed, but not nearly as dark headed as Bella, and her pale complexion was closer to my own. We were about the same size, which was sad considering I was three years older than her.

"Really? You wouldn't mind?" I asked with uncertainty.

"No, silly. It's just a dress." The younger girl shrugged.

"Thank-" I began, but was cut off rudely by Bella.

"It's settled then. Besides, my parents are dying to meet you." She told me casually, however her words sent me into a nervous frenzy.

"It's going to be fine." Evan whispered softly in my ear. I looked up to meet his gaze, and felt much better already. As if he were an oracle, and his words were more fact than wishful thinking.

"I know." I smiled, and he wrapped his arm around me. I sighed silently; why couldn't we move onto something more? I loved his arms around me, but they were kind of a tease; reminding me that the person they belonged to wasn't mine, and at this rate might never be.

"I can't wait until Christmas break." Sky whined, looking at Evan and me. His smile wavered for a moment, but it was back so quickly I wondered if I'd imagined it. "I'm tired of classes."

"Since when do you go to classes?" I asked slyly. His soft blonde hair shook slightly as he laughed loudly.

"Just the same, I'm ready to get out of here. And just so you know, skipping class IS tiresome work. What would you even know about it?" He teased.

"I feel that." Bastan moaned as if he thought the prospect of a week more of classes was too much for anyone to handle.

"Quit your whining. I'm tired of hearing it." Bella snapped harshly.

"Whoa, someone is touchy this morning." Sky replied before downing half a glass of orange juice in one large gulp.

"Must be that time of the month." Reg smiled mischievously at Sky. Rod glowered.

"Shut the hell up." Bella said scowling in a tone of warning. I looked at her face and couldn't help but notice for the first time, the worry that lay beneath the anger.

"What's got your knickers in a twist this morning? Seriously, you've been off since you got up…" Lucius asked with mild concern.

"I got a letter from my mother last night. I'll show it to you when we go back down to the common room." She hesitated, "you'll don't have plans today do you?"

I thought about it- today was Saturday and as such my only plans were to laze around with Evan.

"No," I replied. And I wasn't alone in this response; everyone agreed to head back down to the dorms with Bella. I could tell I wasn't the only one concerned and curious to find out what was going on.

"Be right back. Meet you in the boy's dorm in a few?" Bella asked, as her eyes darted to the girl's dorms where her letter sat on the nightstand.

"Sure." I said nervously. Bella turned and rushed up the stairs. I was beginning to feel a bit jumpy. I reached out to take Evan's hand, his large warm one wrapped around my small bony one, and gave a gentle squeeze.

"Come on." Rod motioned to the boy's dorms. His eyebrows were pushed together with worry. I wanted to comfort him; before I could, Cissy was rubbing his back as we walked up the stairs.

The boys were surprisingly neat. Nothing appeared to be out of place, every bed was made, there were no clothes littering the floor or food wrappers half stuffed in draws. Everything was perfectly clean. We girls were slobs by comparison.

Evan and I were still holding hands as he pulled me over to ( what I assumed was) his bed. I felt the bed shift as everyone piled on it. There was no space to breathe, but I was okay with that. It felt nice to feel their closeness as they took each other's arms, leaned on one another, and otherwise made themselves comfortable.

The blissful feeling of closeness couldn't last forever though. The door swung open and a troubled looking Bella rushed in (her letter clasped firmly in her hand). She made her way to the closest bed opposite ours. Taking a deep breath and without missing a beat she began to read:

'My darling daughter,

I hate to write this in a letter. I had hoped to wait until you were home for Christmas Holiday when we could sit and talk it all over face to face. But more and more of your letters involve the older Lestrange boy. I fear you are losing sight of our ways. I hope that if these tidings are unpleasant to you, at least you will have time to accustom yourself to them sooner and allow yourself a merry holiday. You're seventeen now, and I can hardly believe it, much less understand where the years have gone. Your father wanted to make a marriage match for you years ago- as is the custom of all purebloods, but we agreed to hold off; to let you be a child as long as possible. Those days are done though. You are nearly out of school, and getting ready to join the adult world. However much I hate to admit it, since you're my baby, it's time. I know this topic won't come to you as a shock, as there are many girls your age that have been betrothed for years. Still, it falls to me to inform you that your father is already considering a match for you. A few families of good breeding have already stepped forward to express interest in you. You don't need to be anxious about it, as he has not committed you anything. He loves you, and of course will value your opinion on the matter. You always knew this day was coming, and while I understand you're in a committed relationship, I need you to be circumspect about this relationship and understand that it is subject to end at any time. The Lestrange's are good people, but they have not made an offer on your behalf. Of course, we don't expect you to get married right out the graduation line, but a betrothal needs to at least be in place before then- soon!

On another point of your ending childhood- a war is brewing (as you well know) and no doubt you will be joining it yourself. It's time to look to the future.

The Dark Lord's recruiters will be at the Hogshead this coming Sunday. They have been charged with the job of administering the aptitude test to the future death eaters at Hogwarts. The positions available in The Dark Lord's army are as follows:

-Soldiers rank 1 (special ops)

-Spy

-Healers

-Soldiers rank 2

-Government infiltrator

- Soldiers rank 3 (foot soldiers)

-Scouts

I listed these in order of the top rank to the lowest rank. The recruiters will ask you a series of questions and write down your answers, the second part will test your knowledge on the theory of magic and how well you perform it in general. The results of your test will then be sent to The Dark Lord, and he will decide your rank. During the Christmas break, he will meet with each of you, to discuss your results. The student with the highest rank will be the officer in charge at Hogwarts. Do not fret if you do not get Soldier 1, you can always move up the ranks. A word of caution- you can also move down. Whatever position you receive I will be proud of you; proud that you are willing to fight for our people, some of whom are too old or young, or fragile to fight. You and Cissy make me and your father so honored to be your parents. I love you Bella. Give your sister my love as well.

Mother'

We were all silent as Bella folded the piece of paper up. So many emotions were welling inside me. Fear that I would make the lowest rank (Scout) because I was a Hufflepuff. Anxiety that I'd be meeting The Dark Lord in person in a matter of weeks. But mostly depressed.

My father was a blood traitor as was my mother; no one could call us a 'good family' And who would arrange a match for me anyway? I had disowned Father, and even if I hadn't I couldn't picture myself going to him and asking him to perform such a duty. Without a doubt he would refuse; that just wasn't how things were done in the social circle my family was part of. Arranged marriages were simply not a thing.

I might not have been born into the life my friends led, but I had picked up enough to know that us girls were dependent on the man of the family. For me that was a laughably bitter joke. What were my options now? Never marry?

I spiraled further as I came to terms with marriage pureblood style, and Evan's reluctance to take things to the next level was thrown into new relief and took on a more obvious meaning.

Rod cleared his throat and we all looked at him as he got off the bed and walked over to sit beside his girlfriend.

"Bella?" He asked calmly, looking into her eyes as though it were just the two of them in the room.

"Yes?" Bella asked softly, looking back into his stormy eyes.

"I love you. I will love you forever and ever and always no matter what. Do you feel the same way?" he asked seriously.

"You know I do Rod." She murmured and blushed. Rod took both of Bella's hands in his own.

"Then agree to marry me." He demanded. "I will write to your father, and put myself out there as an option. And you know he will say yes to the engagement when he knows it's what you want too. "

"You mean it?" Bella asked. Rod nodded. She threw her arms around him and buried her face in his neck, all the while making the strangest noise… It sounded like sobs, laughter and choking all at once.

I hadn't noticed my own eyes tearing up until Bella broke the kiss, and smiling a watery smile, looked over to where we were all sitting. Her eyes met mine and she asked:

"Be my maid of honor, Joe?"

I was surprised that she asked me and not Cissy, and my eyes shot to Cissy's unsurprised face and back to Bella's large brown eyes.

"I'd be honored." I told her enthusiastically.

"Tony, Cissy, you guys will be bridesmaids right?" Bella asked.

"Of course I will darling." Tony smiled. However she wasn't looking at Bella; her eyes were locked on her brother and her joy was a real and tangible thing. "We're sisters now."

"I'm your sister too, if you didn't ask me I'd be insulted." Cissy teased.

"She is going to be unbearable now. I just know it! Everything out of her mouth is going to be about this wedding." Lucius groaned, and Sky gave him a commiserating look and a slap on the back.

I was nothing but happy for them, however, the selfish creature that I was, I couldn't stop worrying about what my own future would look like with this new knowledge. I had chosen what life I wanted to live, and yet this single obstacle threatened to thwart everything. I had pictured fighting alongside my friends- still possible. But I had also pictured life when all the fighting was done, and that life included a husband and children- two things that were no longer possible apparently.

"What is it, cousin?" Bella asked. I should have hidden my distress until later. Until Bella and Rod, and all our friends felt the full measure of joy this betrothal called for.

"I want to get married one day." I replied uneasily.

"Alright… and I am sure you will... " Bella said with no little confusion in her voice.

"My father is my father, and no good family would want me when he's a blood traitor." I mumbled as clearly as I could manage. Bella's jaw went slack. She hadn't thought about what this information would mean to me; understandable considering her own situation and the previous five minutes.

"I will write to my mother, surely there is something that can be done." Bella hastily replied.

"I'll marry you." Sky smiled at me, and all three of my cousins scowled at him as if he'd made a tasteless joke. Even I felt like that might have been the case. "No seriously, I will. If it is for you Joe, I'm in."

"Please!" Cissy snorted humorlessly. "An Avery marrying a social nonentity? And not just any Avery. You're the eldest son in the wealthiest branch of that family. No offense to Joe, but yeah, sure, that's happening" she said sarcastically, while looking at me apologetically. I nodded bravely, but flinched inside nonetheless. "Reg and Joe are related, but not so closely as to cause a scandal…" she continued seriously.

"No." Evan all but growled.

"Why not? Were you planning to ask her?" Reg asked sharply from the far right corner of the bed.

"I just think we should write Mrs. Black, and see how she says to proceed." Evan answered. My heart fell a bit at his words. I would have given anything for him to fall on one knee, or take my hands the way Rod had taken Bella's.

"It's settled then, I will write to my mother." Bella told us with intense determination on her face as she left the room.

"That's a good idea Bella." Evan called after her with more force than necessary.

"I am just trying to help." Sky told Evan in a quiet voice. And though he spoke to Evan, his eyes never left my face.

"I understand that, but Bella's mom will figure it out. So there is no need for you to sacrifice yourself for Joe." Evan replied stiffly.

"Sacrifice?! Are you implying that anyone who married me would be sacrificing their future?" I asked, my embarrassment coming out as anger.

"No, of course n-"Evan began to stammer, but I was too upset to let him finish his sentence. Not to mention I didn't want to have this conversation in front of all our friends.

"Can I talk to you for a moment? Alone." I cut in sharply. He nodded and stood up and I followed him out into the empty common room. We sat on one of the squishy couches, Evan looking quite unnerved.

"What's up?" he asked, looking down at my face when I didn't say anything.

"I think you know. You haven't stepped up to be my knight in shining armor- and that's completely okay. I don't want you to be, if you don't want to. But why are you getting all angry at Reg and Sky? Reg never agreed to anything; Sky has put himself out there, for no other reason then to help me. And you're acting like I am some terrible burden on them." I fumed.

"You want to marry him, don't you?" Evan accused heatedly. When my brow creased in obvious confusion, he continued more specifically. "Sky is good looking for a guy, I guess. All the girls love him; you've been a witness to that. Why wouldn't you want him?"

"I never said I wanted him." I replied coldly, running my hand through my blonde curls. I couldn't believe we were having this conversation. I had always made my feelings plain, what more did he need? A list of everything I loved about him with hearts decorating the parchment?

"Well do you? It seems that way. You didn't exactly turn down his proposal. In fact, you didn't say anything at all." Evan replied impatiently.

"I may not want to get married tomorrow, but I do want to someday. And if Sky is willing, even knowing what my parents are, then I don't see why not. This situation is weird for me. This isn't how I was raised to go about marriage, but I'll adjust." I hissed in irritation.

"You would marry someone you don't love? Or do you actually love him?" Evan asked with the same irritation as he crossed his arms tightly across his chest.

"I love him as a friend. And apparently a lot of pureblood women marry men they are not in love with." I told him in a matter of fact fashion, as I too folded my arms across my chest.

"What is so wrong with me looking out for your best interests?" He ignored my comment altogether.

"And what are my best interests?" I asked him seriously.

"Marrying for love, like Bella and Rod." He answered.

"Oh, and where is this man? Not one who just wants to sleep with me, but loves me?" Evan flinched, and I willed him to take the bait. To admit he loved me; something I knew to be true. He didn't.

"You seem to want to settle for less. And I am damned if I can figure out why." He replied. His expression was casually irritated, but I didn't look at that. I watched his eyes; eyes that were intense and reaffirmed what I already knew. He loved me. And yet he wasn't going to do anything about that.

"If you don't understand why, then I am not going to bother to explain it. You'll just argue every point and be willfully obtuse." I huffed.

"You are so selfish! You're only thinking of yourself, and what about Sky? Doesn't he deserve to marry for love?" Evan asked. I felt immensely guilty at once. He was right; I was taking advantage of my friend's kind heart just to help myself.

"You're right." I sighed and deflated. Righteous anger forgotten. "I hadn't thought of that." I muttered guiltily.

"Look, don't worry about this anymore Joe. It will all work out, I promise." Evan whispered as he pulled me into a tight hug.

"I know." I lied, and hugged him back just as tightly.

It was Sunday. Today was the day. I was so nervous that I didn't respond when Mrs. Black's answering letter was dropped in front of Bella, who told me we'd read it later that night, I merely nodded.

I looked around and noticed that I was not the only one not eating. I was sure they were all worried about the test too. I looked around the great hall and noticed couples pairing up in preparation for their day in the little village of Hogsmeade; blissfully unaware of the test and trials I and my friends would be going through.

"I think we better get going." Bastan said nervously, and we all stood up silently and followed him out onto the grounds.

"Is anyone else feeling a little sick?" I asked after a few moments. I had to say something; the tense silence was driving me crazy.

"I am." Bella whispered as she put her arm through mine. I looked up and noticed she was pale, and I wondered if I looked just as ghostly.

"We'll get through this." I said trying to be brave for her.

"I know we'll live, but I want a good rank. I know my parents said they'd be happy with anything, but if I make a low rank I think they'd be secretly disappointed." She confessed.

"Maybe," I conceded, "However, they'd love you the same and you could always move up."

"I know. But still, I have really high hopes for today." She whispered hoarsely.

"I think I'm going to do horrible." Cissy said from behind us.

"Why? I'm sure you'll be brilliant. You go to all your classes." I answered.

"I go to all my classes because I'm lousy with magic." Cissy whimpered.

"Nonsense, you'll do fine." I said, scooping her arm up with my free one.

"What rank do you want?" Bella asked her sister with a raised eyebrow.

"Anywhere in the top three ranks would be good." She muttered.

"I feel that." Evan grinned, he seemed to be the only one unaffected by the pressure.

"And you think you'll get it?" I asked him, smiling at his radiant confidence.

"I don't see why not." He replied smoothly. "Doubting me, Joe?"

"Not at all, I have the utmost faith in you." I said, beginning to relax.

Our little group lapsed back into silence as we made our way through the small village. With every step my nerves eased a little. Mainly because I knew that this day would come, and we should have been happy for it to be here. All around us the Ministry of Magic was making laws that helped everyone that wasn't a pureblood. It was clear the Ministry wanted purebloods to die out; why else would our taxes be higher than those of impure blood? Why should they get a break for marrying muggles or half-bloods? The government even now was twisting our customs, making them look taboo and grotesque. The Ministry was trying to push us out, but we'd push back.

"And what rank do you want, Joe?" Evan asked.

"Oh, the best rank available of course." I said grinning.

"And you think you'll get it?" He asked, repeating my earlier question.

"I don't see why not." I winked.

"Touché" He laughed.

As we rounded the corner Hogshead came into full view. I felt butterflies in my stomach, but it stemmed from my excitement. Today was the day that would leave our lives forever changed. I was ready to fight, and somewhere in my mind I knew that no matter what anyone thought, it was the right thing to do. Someone had to look out for us purebloods, and it was clear we purebloods were the only people who would.