A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing!

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When they arrived in the dining room, the table was set. Apparently on tonight's menu was an assortment of pizza, breadsticks, and salad. He hadn't thought of pizza, but he grinned as he realized the house must have sensed this was her desired dinner. It was peculiar, and he still hadn't quite figured out how that worked...or why the house might be responding to her desired meal choice instead of his own. Maybe it's because after all, she was his guest- and he wasn't entirely opposed to pizza.

He pointed to the chair to the right of his at the head of the table. "Sit."

"You could try not ordering me around."

"You're in my house!"

"Because you made me stay here!"

He waved his paws in front of him. "Fine. Will Princess...what's your first name?"

She rolled her eyes. "Agent!"

He scoffed, which came out like a low growl. "Will Princess Agent Lisbon please afford me the luxury of taking the seat presented, if it suits her highness's fancy?"

"Now, you're mocking me with a sentence that, frankly, makes no sense. You really know how to make an impression, don't you?"

"I always aim to please!"

She cocked her eyebrow. "Well, you clearly failed to please someone to end up in this predicament."

"Predicament?"

"Your curse."

"They weren't supposed to tell you! Which one told you? I bet it was Rigsby, wasn't it? He talks. A lot!"

"Did you not think I'd find the talking objects odd and maybe ask some questions? Or did you just want to jerk me around a bit before asking for my help?"

"I don't need your help!" He roared. How dare she?

"Well, it's been two months. Just how long do you plan to stay like this?"

Interesting. She didn't seem to know about the rose, so they didn't tell her everything.

"I'm going to figure it out! I just need time to think about it."

She glared at him as she ate her pizza. On the first bite, she hummed. Apparently, she was angry but still hungry. "Ok, then, why do you need me here?"

"I suppose it's to teach you a lesson about not trespassing."

She shrugged. "We have courts for that. You could call my superiors and file a complaint. No need to resort to kidnapping and false imprisonment."

"Please! I've seen your superior. If that fumbling oaf is in charge, I can see exactly how the state tax scheme is highway robbery. We wouldn't leave him in charge of anything at the carnival, much less let him carry a gun."

Her eyes filled with hurt. His earlier assessment was correct. Minnelli was someone important to her.

"Even for a beast, that's a cruel thing to say."

He sighed. "I guess so. But to your question, it is nice to share a meal with someone else, isn't it? I doubt you share many meals with anyone."

"Please! Like you're one to talk with that attitude! Don't your other guests have dinner with you?"

"Apparently, they can't eat, which has really not gone over well with Rigsby."

"So you're not trying to seduce me over dinner. You don't need my help. What do you want to talk about? How the Bears are doing this season? I have to tell you it's not great."

She must have realized the irony of what she said to him because wrinkled her nose before she broke into a light chuckle, making him laugh. "Ah! So you do have a sense of humor?"

She tilted her head slightly. "Well, I do actually like the Bears."

"You like football?"

Her eyes lit up. Maybe that's not something others often picked up about her or asked her. "It's my favorite sport. Do you?"

"I mean, I know the sport. I can't say that I like it as much as you seem to love it-but I know the Bears haven't been a great team in years. No, they must be a favorite because...Chicago is your hometown."

Her face was blank for a moment, hard to read. Then, she tilted her head and spoke to him in a mocking voice. "Do you know that because you're psychic? Did one of my deceased relatives reach out to you with an important message for me?"

"Let's get this straight. You and I both know there's no such things as psychics. You're much too intune with things, shall we say, to believe that psychics exist."

"Sure. I'd also say none of this could exist, but I get your grift if that's what you mean. Don't you tell people you're a psychic? Don't they pay you for that? It can't be good for business…"

"Oh, it's great for business!"

"I'm sure desperate people love hearing whatever makes them feel better, whatever they need to hear, even if it's bullshit. Right?"

He averted his eyes as he paused for a moment. He wasn't entirely sure why he felt a sudden stab of guilt. It's what he'd always done, ever since he was a boy. The marks gave him their money, and he gave them what they needed to hear. It was a simple exchange really. Only, the marks were people-often people who were hurting. That's what made them so desperate in the first place.

He wanted to yell at her, question how she could say such a thing to him, but he looked into her eyes. Though they held an earnestness, he could tell she'd seen some of the harshest realities the world had to offer. He wasn't overcome with an urge to tell her everything, but he could tell she would listen to whatever he had to say. She wanted to rile him up to get him talking as cops did, but she would actually hear him.

"Maybe it's not a great business. I do have a gift of sorts, I suppose."

"This man wanted you to use your...gift? Which is what exactly?"

He shrugged. "I can read people."

"Oh really?"

"So I know you're from Chicago. It's not just your favorite football team, but you also have the attitude."

"The attitude?" Maybe he could return the favor and rile her up a bit.

"A big city lady, but also a bit soft around the edges. You wear that cross around your neck. I'd wager you had a rather religious upbringing. You're also used to being in charge. It's why you're a bit bossy. Though, you faced some kind of childhood trauma, maybe the death of a parent. It's why you square up when scared but also why you're fiercely loyal to Minnelli. He's like a parental figure to you. How am I doing?"

She stared at him with pursed lips and still eyes. She didn't have to confirm anything for him. He knew he hit his target. Now, he only needed to know how she would react. After a few moments, she grinned slyly.

"Some of that might be true. I don't see how it's relevant, and I don't really care how you know. For all I know, you googled me."

"Googled you? I don't even know your first name." He held his paws up. "Nor can I type with these things."

"Please! You have a magical house. You think I could believe all of what I'm seeing right now and still believe you could only come by information on me in only conventional ways? Do you want to know what I know about you?"

He laughed in amusement. "Oh do tell!"

"Patrick Jane. Self-proclaimed psychic, but really a fraud. You live in this huge mansion all alone because you want to give the illusion of your success. But also, it's a safety net-not that you'd admit it. You've been homeless before. You were transient for some period of time. You mentioned the carnival. Was that it? Born into the carnival? Maybe spent some time in foster care? You want the security of home. You feel safest here. It's why you invite marks over and also why you holed up here instead of actively seeking someone to help you. Well, that and you're much too proud for help. It's why you've dodged me every time I've brought up that curse. Now, how am I doing?"

She dabbed the corner of her mouth with her napkin before placing it on the table. A princess indeed.

"You may be onto something. Did you google me?"

"As if I'd need google, I am a detective. I do detect things."

"Hmm. You do the detecting; I do the insulting. What a pair we make!"

She laughed loudly. "I can tell! So are you going to tell me what's going on or what?"

"With your assessment of my background, you don't think I'd really trust a cop do you? You'd just as soon call animal control on me or whatever."

That didn't even phase her as she failed to miss a beat. "Yet, here you are with me."

He sighed. She had a point there. He still had no reason why he kept her here. He could have just easily trusted the Hightower woman, but she didn't seem to know what was going on either. Maybe it was just a fresh set of eyes that he desired on this.

"There's not much to tell really. A guy showed up. Said we'd make a really good team, but I declined. He was a bit...well, I'm not into what he's into. I just got this bad vibe from him. I may not be a psychic, but I can read negative energy. Next thing I knew, he decided to place a curse on me. He said that since I know so much, I could figure out how to break it and find him when I did."

"Find him?"

"He said that once I broke the curse, I'd be ready to join him. I don't want to join him, but I will find him." He couldn't help it, but he let out a low growl. "I will have justice!"

"You mean revenge?"

"Same difference!"

"Vengeance is never the answer!"

"Look at me! Look at the people who suddenly turned to objects!"

"Help them all get back to their lives and get back to your own life. You do not have to play whatever sick game this creep has in mind because you have to know vengeance won't be that easy. Don't you think it's more of an affront to that guy to break the curse and go about living a happy life as a human being again? You'd get to be a hero instead of caught in some game that, by your own admission, you want no part in."

She probably had a point, but he wasn't going to tell her that. He needed to find a way to break this damn curse. Then, he'd find that man and break him.

"Whatever. Are you going to help me or not?"

"Are you asking?"

"I could command it."

"I could tell you to go to hell."

God, it grated on his nerves how she saw through him. It had been a very long time since he faced resistance like this. Usually a quick smile, or more like a roar these days, and people would do what he wanted. She was making it clear that she would absolutely not do what he wanted without him giving a little. As frustrating as she was, it would be a complete lie to say he wasn't a bit taken with her. What made Agent Lisbon tick?

Sensing she wouldn't back down, he gave a little. He spoke in a low voice. "Will you help me?"

She nodded as she reached her hand out across the table in what was an obvious gesture of goodwill. He held out his paw, and she placed her hand on top of it.

"I will help you break this curse...as your partner."

Her hand was very soft as she shook his paw. "Partners."

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It was well after 2am when Minnelli finally returned to the CBI Headquarters in Sacramento. Though he led the Serious Crimes Unit, he had no idea who he could call to come help Lisbon. He sat in his office for a moment, trying to come up with a game plan. He should call his agents! Because of the late hour, no one answered his calls.

Well, that and he wasn't completely aloof: most of the punks didn't even respect him enough to answer his call. He'd heard their whispers in the hall with jokes about how he couldn't tie his own shoes without Lisbon's help. Clearly, they were jealous because she was his obvious favorite. He couldn't help it that she was one of the only agents left around here with a head on her shoulders. Unlike others, Lisbon wasn't looking toward the next thing. She was just looking to do the job.

As he drifted off to sleep at his desk, he decided he would gather them all after they arrived at 8am. There wasn't a moment to lose!

Early the next morning, he ran to the bullpen. "Everyone, I need your attention right now!"

Ray Haffner was here. Good. He might help if he knew Lisbon was in trouble. He seemed fond of her. "What is it, Agent Minnelli?"

"Agent Lisbon is in distress at a house in Malibu."

Haffner looked up from his papers and raised his brow. "Huh?"

"Did you just say Agent Lisbon is in distress?" Agent Pike of the FBI came walking around the corner. Funny. He distinctly remembered banning him from the building, but he would take all of the help he could get at this point.

"She is. We were in a house in Malibu, and she's been taken!"

"She's been taken?"

"Yes! I need a team to go out with me to get her back. She's in trouble. I can lead us there, but we need to get moving. Now!"

Pike and Haffner shared a look. He knew how this all sounded. It's why he left out the part about the beast and moving objects.

"Did you not sleep well last night, Agent Minnelli?" Pike feigned concern.

"I didn't sleep well because I have an agent in distress! I'll prove it! She gave me her phone and car to get back because my car died." He pulled out Lisbon's phone and keys.

Haffner narrowed his eyes. Finally, he was getting it! "Why do you have Lisbon's phone and car? Did something happen?"

"Yes! I just told you she's in distress. We need to move before it's too late."

Haffner whistled as he looked at his watch. "Well, Lisbon is usually a few minutes late, but she's never this late. I say we wait a little longer, and I will talk to her when she gets here to make sure she's ok."

"I'm telling you she won't be here! We have to go…"

"Just calm down, Agent Minnelli. Let's get you to your office." Pike had his hand on his elbow. He wanted to deck him.

"Why would I have her phone and keys if she's just running late? I'm telling you something is wrong. We need to go get her. It may already be too late!"

Haffner sighed. "Minnelli, come on! She's fine, unless...wait. Did you do something to her? Did something happen? Is that what you're trying to tell us?"

Pike's grip on his elbow tightened. "Well? Did you harm Lisbon? Is that what this is?"

Haffner pulled out his phone. "Director Bertram, I think we may have a situation down here with Agent Minnelli. I think we should get a car to Agent Lisbon's home and we need to search her car. I'm afraid something may have happened to her."

He stared at Haffner in disbelief as he continued talking on his phone. They suspected he had hurt Lisbon, when he was telling them exactly where she was! They needed to get to that house before it was too late.

"Right. See you shortly." Haffner hung up his phone. "Director Bertram said to put Agent Minnelli in his office and keep an eye on him for now."

"We need to go get Lisbon! I can take you to her!"

Haffner's eyes shifted to Pike. "He said we should also make sure Minnelli has access to a union rep and lawyer if he requests them. Minnelli, did you hurt Lisbon? Is that what you're trying to tell us? I have to advise you of your rights…"

"You're not hearing me!"

"I think we have heard you, and I'm quite worried about Lisbon now. We're going to search for her. Do you want to tell me where she is?"

"I've told you! We need to get to her in Malibu!"

Pike gritted his teeth. "I don't think you have. If you're having some sort of episode, we can get you help. Right now, we need to find Lisbon. Until you're ready to give us some straight answers though, you're going to your office."

Minnelli let out a deep sigh as Pike led him away. If only they would listen!

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When she retired to the guest room the night before, she realized Jane did not lie. When she opened the doors of the armoire to find something to sleep in, she saw an assortment of Bears jerseys. She hummed to herself and grinned when she pulled out an oversized Walter Payton jersey. She definitely slept in that.

Most of the next day was spent with Jane going through what the man who placed this curse on him and the others had to say.

"So he just showed up and cursed you?"

"That's what I said, isn't it?"

"What did he want you to help him do?"

"He said with my skills and his own, we'd become one of the powerful duos California had ever seen. He didn't exactly expand on that, but I could tell it wasn't anything good."

"Obviously, someone with good intentions wouldn't curse you."

He waved his paw. "That's what I'm saying!"

"It's just weird that some guy would randomly curse you, especially this way." She laughed. "Surely, there are better ways to punish someone."

"Oh, well, why don't you call him up and trade ideas with him?"

Cho started ringing. "Here they go again!"

Cho, Rigsby, Van Pelt, and Hightower all joined them and watched as they broke out into bickering on several occasions. Honestly, she couldn't tell if he was goading her sometimes or if he was just actually this annoying.

"I'm just pointing out that this makes no sense."

"Has any fairy tale you've ever seen make any real sense? Did some random guy finding Snow White in the forest make any sense at all? It's supposed to teach me a lesson."

"Well, what about all of these other people? What lessons could he have possibly wanted to teach them?"

"I don't know. Maybe he decided I needed ringing, flamboyant, twirling friends with a spy in our midst."

"Hey! I'm not a spy! I was hired to do a job. Maybe you should be less of a repugnant person." Hightower had clearly had enough of this.

"Hightower, it's ok. I will deal with him."

"Yeah. Why don't you go make me some tea?"

Hightower laughed darkly. "Why don't you say that to me when I have hands again?"

Though he didn't speak, she noticed he swallowed thickly. Good. He had a lot of bravado, but he wasn't stupid.

"Jane, maybe you should practice a bit of empathy. Let's not taunt people who are going through the same thing you are right now. She's not seen her kids in months, and the others have families who are worried about them as well."

"I want to show you something. Follow me." She cleared her throat. She'd been clear the night before about how far his commands would get him. He huffed. "Will you follow me please?"

"Sure."

She followed him back to what looked to be a library. Near a window, there was a rose that appeared to be slowly wilting in a glass case. They stopped in front of it, and he stared at it for a moment before speaking.

"You know, I don't take pride in being like this."

"Like a beast or your naturally charming self?"

He scoffed. "I can't help that I'm charming and that not everyone appreciates my charm. I...I wish I could have stopped this. I wish those other people weren't stuck here with me. They don't deserve it, but I probably do."

She went rigid for a moment. Why would he think he deserved this? "What could you have done differently?"

"I could've done what he wanted. Why did I choose that moment to have principles? I mean, you called me on it the day you met me. My only principles are tied to money that I have nothing beyond this house to show for."

She drew in a deep breath. "I don't think that's true. Not entirely. We all spend a lot of time thinking about the 'what ifs.' What if I'd done what that man wanted? But how do you know the result would be any different? You said no because you sensed there was a clear and present danger. You may take people's money by giving them false hope, which is something, but that's a far cry from being an actual monster."

He spoke softly. "He didn't seem to think so. I'm not sure I do either. You're right. They all have lives that they can't live because of me."

While that was true in part, it wasn't the whole truth. The only one truly responsible for any of this was that evil man. She could tell him that, but he needed her help, not a pity party. "Jane, why did you bring me here?"

He pointed to the rose. "If I don't break this curse before the last petal falls from this rose, we are stuck like this forever. I'm not sure how much time we have left, but I have to...I have to fix this. If I don't figure this out before then, there will be no justice. Now, do you understand the stakes?"

Truthfully, there wasn't much of the rose left. That it had survived this long was a minor miracle to be sure. Though, the rose probably preserved as much as everyone else in this house.

She took note of the fact that even though she said he had her help, he still considered this a solo mission of sorts. She wouldn't dwell on it too much, but it struck an all too familiar chord within her. Perhaps he didn't think she could help at all. And maybe she couldn't. Maybe she was here to provide him-and the others-comfort in a situation no one could change.

She nudged his arm with her shoulder as a comfort of sorts. "I've always understood the stakes. We will solve this."

She followed him back to the library. They continued running through his version of events, and she continued asking questions where she found them. Nothing made any sense about this and why this man wanted to teach him a lesson at all. What could it be?

While they talked through what Jane knew in the library, she noticed an assortment of Jane Austen novels on the shelves.

"I must admit. I didn't take you for a romance novel fanatic, Jane."

"I could say the same about you since the house clearly populated the book you would want to read."

She narrowed her eyes. "So wait. What in the house is actually stuff that was yours before the house became magical?"

"I led a rather minimal existence. You were right about the security more than flash. I had a nicely decorated living area where I entertained...clients. Otherwise, just basic furniture. I am but one person!"

She shrugged as she started to read Pride and Prejudice. She'd read it before, and liked it well enough, but maybe taking some time devoted to something else would help her bring fresh ideas to this conundrum.

He left to do something else, but funny enough, she couldn't take her mind off of him even when he was out of the room. He was a peculiar man, and by no means a saint, but she could sense he held a lot of internal conflict. Did he actually believe himself to be a monster?

She lost track of time reading. After all, it was one of her favorite stories. Eventually, Hightower and Van Pelt hopped up onto the sofa next to her.

"What are you reading?" Van Pelt started to twirl, but she almost immediately stopped herself.

"Pride and Prejudice."

Hightower raised her brow. "Really?" As Lisbon nodded her head, she whistled from her spout. "I would have never guessed that about you."

"Oh please!"

Van Pelt hummed. "Why not? It's a love story! And I think those are beautiful."

Both Lisbon and Hightower stared at Van Pelt for a moment before she broke into a grin. "Me too."

Hightower looked to her from beneath her eyes. If she didn't know any better, she'd say that look was a bit suggestive. "I think he's going to invite you to dinner again."

"Probably. He's lonely. He's also a bit dejected trying to figure this out."

The teapot lid flapped open before closing back down. "I hope you guys can figure it out soon. I'm tired of whistling all the damn time!"

"I know. We're going to get you home to your kids."

Hightower looked away. "I miss them, but I don't know how I'll ever explain this to them."

She placed her hand on the top of the pot. "Hey, we will cross that bridge when we get to it!"

"I just wish I hadn't been here. If the damn psychic…"

"He doesn't like to be called that. I know he's a grifter, but that's not all he is. I can sense he has a great deal of shame for this. There's something more there. I...I have a good feeling about him, but don't tell him I said that. He'll be absolutely obnoxious about it!"

Both Van Pelt and Hightower turned to look at her. Hightower started to speak when Cho and Rigsby joined them.

Rigsby waved his candle arms around. "Any breakthroughs today?"

"Unfortunately, no."

He sighed. "I don't want to be stuck this way forever."

She heard Cho's gears grind. Literally. "Guys, I'm sorry. Just give it a little time. I'm trying. He's trying."

She placed the book down and walked back to her room. Before long, Jane was at her door to escort her to dinner. She found that once he was able to open up even just an inch, things were a lot smoother between them. Though, she didn't fault him. She was naturally closed off as well.

Tonight, they had steak. When he grabbed his steak and started to gnaw on it, she instinctively placed her hand over his and shook her head.

Throwing the steak back down on the plate, he looked at her. "Sorry my etiquette isn't up to par, but how the hell am I supposed to eat it?"

Without saying a word, she moved his plate in front of her and began to cut his steak into pieces.

"Here you go. I know you can use that fork, so have at it!"

"I wouldn't have asked you to do that…"

"Because you're terrible at asking for help."

"But thank you." For some reason, those words made her feel warm. Earlier, she'd felt a bit useless. Right now, not so much. "Do you have plans after dinner?"

"Jane, I'm stuck in your house. What plans do you think I have?"

"I don't know. Want to join me in the library and find out?" He flashed her a rather sly grin. She had no idea what he was up to right now, but that smile told her that in any form, Patrick Jane could get into trouble.

After dinner, he walked her to the library. Only, the library wasn't a library anymore. Well, it was, but it looked a lot different than before. All but the sofa had disappeared and a large screen tv was now on the wall.

He looked at her in curiosity. "So you wanted to watch tv?"

Before she could respond, the tv turned itself on...to the game that was playing. Her cheeks reddened a bit. "Well, it is Thursday night."

He smiled at her. "I suppose it is."

Sitting on the sofa, which somehow seemed a bit tighter than earlier, she started to watch the game. He followed suit, but huffed when he realized only after sitting down that the sofa was quite small and he was rather large in this form. They sat so close together that they were touching.

He flexed his leg a bit, trying to draw it away from her to respect her space. "I'm...I'm sorry. I didn't mean..."

Even if he was a bit embarrassed, she smiled at the gesture. Most of the guys she knew never felt shame in invading her space. Besides, she didn't mind it very much. "It's ok! It's a small couch. You're fine!"

He exhaled, seemingly in a sigh of relief. "So neither of these teams are your favorite."

"No, but the Panthers…"

She started talking about their current stats and players. To her surprise, he was not put off. He actually listened intently and asked her questions about what she was saying. It was a pleasant conversation. At some point in the evening, popcorn and beer appeared as did Hightower, Van Pelt, Cho, and Rigsby. They sat on the floor and watched the game as they chatted. If not for their rather dire situation, she might joke that it was a cozy evening.

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"Director Bertram?"

"Come in, Agent Pike. Any updates?"

"No. We've not been able to find Agent Lisbon. It's like she's vanished."

The balding man rubbed his head. "There seems to be a lot of that happening recently."

Pike sighed. "I just...I'm really worried about her. I think Minnelli did something to her."

"Huh? No! I doubt it."

"Then, what do you think is going on? All I know is that she's missing! We have to find her!" After all, she was his other, beautiful half.

"I mean, Minnelli probably sent her off on some half cocked assignment and forgot. Between me and you, Minnelli was already on his last leg here. And losing an agent on an assignment like this is the nail in his coffin. I'm ready to get him out of here AND with the added bonus of saving the state from having to pay his retirement." He laughed sardonically.

"But that doesn't help us find her."

"Relax, Pike! We will find her. I'm telling you this is all probably a lot of nothing! Now, let's talk about what you can do for me."

"What I can do for you?"

Bertram nodded slowly. If he didn't know any better, he'd think Bertram was the villain in some type of spy thriller.

"Help me with Minnelli. I have a lot of what I need to get him out of here, but if you can help me make this airtight, I can help the FBI by dissolving the Serious Crimes Unit. Without him, and maybe without Lisbon, we have no unit. If we find Lisbon, I can reassign her. All of those crimes that we investigate that would otherwise go to your office? They could now come to your office. This would solve so many of our problems. Think about it."

Oh, he was definitely thinking about it. Minnelli could help him solve his problems. Of course, not the ones Bertram was thinking about.

Bertram wanted to get rid of Serious Crimes to make his solve rates better. He was a politician for sure. Though, he didn't care if they picked up those cases. But having Minnelli in his corner? Even if he didn't save him from the big bad wolf, he would be the hero when he saved Teresa. She would certainly see him in a much different light.

"Ok, I'm in."