"Derek, Derek, Derek!" Meredith said tapping his shoulder.

"Hmmm..."

"Derek, your mom is here."

"I'm tired..." He moaned.

"She is in the foyer with 3 of your sisters so you need to wake up."

Derek fluttered open his tired eyes and Meredith smiled at him. He tried to sit up a little bit but he had become even weaker overnight so Meredith helped him.

"How do you feel?"

"Tired and pain."

"I think Dr Swender is coming in soon for your discharge so she'll talk to you about it."

"What time is it?" He asked.

"10am, you've been asleep for 14 hours!"

"Wow!" He laughed quietly.

"I love you." She said leaning forward and kissing his on the forehead.

"I love you too."

Mark walked into the room beaming from ear to ear with Dereks Mom/Mark's adopted Mom, Kathleen, Nancy, Lizzie, Amelia and Addison following shortly behind him.

"Derek." Mom breathed.

"Hi Mom."

He tried to sit forward but he couldn't so she went over and hugged him.

"How are you feeling?"

"Awful." He sighed.

"Oh, dear can I get you anything?"

"No thanks mom."

"Hi Derek." Lizzie said smiling.

"Hey."

Nancy and Kathleen were both shocked and silent which wasn't very often. Dr Swender walked into the room and walked straight over to Derek.

"Well, you've got a large family haven't you!" Dr Swender laughed.

"Yes, Mom this is my oncologist Dr Rebecca Swender."

"Nice to meet you." Dr Swender said shaking her hand.

"Same, I'm Carolyn."

"Are you staying for a while?"

"Until he is in remission." She said looking at Derek smiling.

"Okay, how are you feeling today Derek?"

"I'm okay, do I get to go home?"

"Yes, well I have to talk to you first but then you can."

"Okay."

"So on Tuesday you need to be here at 7am sharp and we will get you checked in so you can have your first treatment at 8:30 and we have to place a Hickman line beforehand. We can then give you any meds if needed. I need you to try to sleep and eat as much as you can so your body will have energy for then. You need a T-shirt that will be okay for your Hickman line."

"Okay."

"Dr Bailey is waiting outside at the moment so that she can do a quick ultrasound while I do your discharge papers."

"Thank you." Derek said.

Dr Swender left the room and Bailey walked in with an ultrasound.

"Good morning Derek."

"Morning Bailey, this is Dr Miranda Bailey, I've worked with her closely since I came Mom."

"Oh nice to meet you Dr, what is your specialty?"

"General." She said.

"Wow."

"Can you lift up your shirt Derek?"

Derek did as told and laid back against the bed. He gasped slightly when he felt the cold gel on his abdomen and when she pressed down on his aching stomach.

"All looks okay but I want to redress over your incision because they look ver sore."

"They are." He laughed.

Kathleen and Nancy had left the room with Mark and Meredith to get some coffee and go sort out their car. Bailey redressed over the scar and said bye to him. Dr Swender came back in the room smiling slightly,

"So your okay to go." She said helping him sit up.

"Where's Meredith?"

"She's jobs to the car dear, she'll be back in a minute why don't we just meet her there?"

"Okay." Said Derek

"Let me go get you a wheelchair." Addison said.

"No I can walk Addison."

"Derek, you need to keep any unnecessary strain on your body at a minimum, let Dr Montgomery get you a wheelchair." Rebecca said.

"Fine."

Addison reappeared a few seconds later with a wheelchair. Dr Swender and Amelia helped him onto the wheelchair, Lizzie helped him get his coat on him and Carolyn grabbed his bags.

"See you on Tuesday Derek."

"Thank you, see you Tuesday." He smiled before Amelia wheeled him out of the room.

They all walked down the long corridor and into the elevator in silence. As soon as they got out of the elevator, Mark, Meredith, Nancy and Kathleen were waiting to go up for him.

"Erm...hello?"

"Hi."

They got out of the elevator and started to go for the exit.

"One minute." Derek said abruptly.

Derek stood up grabbing hold of his mom when he started to go dizzy.

"What are you doing dear?"

"I just wanted to get a drink from the vending machine." He sighed.

Meredith walked over and grabbed his arm, she knew how hard this was for him and how he still needed to do little things like grabbing a soda from a vending machine. They started to walk towards the machine but his legs buckled beneath him, Meredith tightened her grip and they continued to walk over. As soon as they reached the vending machine Derek grabbed hold of the side to balance himself.

"What do you want Der?"

"A soda and a candy bar."

"Okay."

Meredith put 2 dollars in the machine and pressed the buttons. Derek bent down to pick up the goods when they dropped but he couldn't due to the pain. Meredith did it for them and helped him back to his chair. They had all left and started to make their ways to Meredith's house except Mark, Carolyn and Addison. Derek flopped down on to the chair putting his head in his hands. Meredith wheeled him to the door and stopped the wheelchair, he walked in front of Derek and stroked his hair.

"Come on then." Meredith said holding his hand tightly.

Addison took the Fanta and candy bar off him so Meredith could help him to his car. Derek stood up weakly and took a few steps forward towards the exit but stopped. Once the room stopped spinning he continued walking to his car with Meredith stood right behind him in case he fell. He managed to get outside to the bollards but then the dizziness took over and he grabbed hold of it.

"I've got you." Meredith said grabbing him tightly.

He immediately leant back into her and sighed with relief. They continued slowly to the car and Derek was exhausted already. He sat down in the back of the car behind Mark who was driving.

"You okay?" Meredith sighed.

"No."

Derek could feel his eyes slowly shutting until there was nothing but darkness.

"Derek, we're home baby." Meredith said hugging him.

Derek opened his eyes groggily and smiled at her slightly. He grabbed her hand and squeezed it tightly.

"Tired."

"I know."

His mom and Addison had already gone inside to meet all his sisters but Mark was waiting outside to help him. Derek weakly stood up out of the car and Mark quickly grabbed his arm.

"Let's get you inside." Mark said.

Meredith stepped out of the car, locked it and held his other arm. They walked straight inside,

"Bed or couch?"

"Bed, couch later." He sighed tiredly.

Ignoring everyone they walked upstairs to the bedroom. Derek laid down on the bed and fell asleep instantly. Meredith wanted to stay with him but she had 6 strangers downstairs in her house and it was lunchtime so she had to make something for them.

4 hours later Derek stumbled down the stairs barely conscious, he had tried to shout for Meredith but his voice and throat were dry and raspy. He staggered towards the lounge when Nancy came out of the kitchen looking for the bathroom.

"Derek!"

She quickly grabbed hold of him and walked him into the lounge where everyone was sat talking and laughing.

"What happened?" Meredith said rushing over to him.

"He was trying to get here I think, he was in the hallway."

Meredith quickly sat him down on the sofa where she was sat and he groaned quietly in pain.

"Mark, can you get me the Demerol off the counter and a glass of water?"

Mark quickly obeyed as Meredith continued to hug him and comfort him. He came back in and gave it to Meredith who placed the pills in his shaking hand. He placed them in his mouth and swallowed them using the water. He sighed and sat back against the comfortable couch.

"Do you want that candy bar?" Addison asked breaking the awkward silence blanketing the crammed room.

Derek nodded slightly and everyone went back to their conversations. Addison came back and gave him the candy bar. Mer opened it for him because his hands were too shaky to do it and then passed it back to him. He slowly but surely he ate the entire candy bar and then took a sip of the soda. He knew something was wrong. His chest felt tight, it was becoming harder and harder to breathe and his palms went sweaty. He closed his eyes and tried to take a few deep breaths. Meredith caught on and looked concerned.

"Derek, why don't we head outside for a little bit?"

He could barely hear what she was saying, just his heart beating and his chest tightening by the second. Meredith pulled him up and walked him outside. She sat him down and rubbed his back to try calm him down but it wasn't working.

"Just breath, your having a panic attack, breathe with me, in and out."

He was listening to her and took deep breaths with her. After 10 minutes he'd calmed down and was fast asleep on Meredith's shoulder. Carolyn walked out to see what was happening and sat next to Meredith.

"What's happened dear?"

"He had a panic attack Mom."

"He's had them since his dad died, was this a bad one?"

"He was hyperventilating, I've never seen him like that."

"I think he's hurting more than he is saying, mentally and physically."

"I don't even know where to start to try help him,"

"Let me talk to him dear."

He started to wake up once again, everything hurt and he was exhausted. He rubbed his eyes and sat up leaning forward immediately, putting his head in his hands. Meredith looked at Carolyn and walked back inside leaving the 2 of them alone.

"Derek." She breathed.

He looked up at her with tears rolling his eyes and looking sickly. She pulled him into a tight embrace and stroked his curls with her pale hand. She could feel his shoulders shake with every sob that took over his body.

"I'm sorry Mom." He sobbed.

"Why are you sorry?"

"Because you came out here and had to drop everything."

"No Derek you looked after me, the whole family and now it is our turn to look after you. You can push everyone away like your doing or admit you are depressed or even how much pain your in. You are safe Derek. I love you so much." She said trying not to cry herself.

"I love you too Mom."

They sat hugging for another minute or 2 before Derek pulled back and rubbed his eyes.

"So... you are going to bed while I cook a family dinner, we are all eating around the table tonight. You can have probably 2 hours sleep before tea."

"Okay."

Carolyn stood up and helped Derek up. They walked back inside straight upstairs to Derek's bedroom where Meredith was doing laundry. Carolyn helped him onto the bed and he fell asleep in seconds, Meredith hugged her 'Mom' before Carolyn went and cooked. She laid down on the bed next to him and hugged him tightly before falling asleep herself.

Carolyn sighed shutting the door behind her as she left her hurting son's room. She had already decided to cook for everyone. She knew that it wouldn't happen again for a very long time, thanksgiving was probably out of the window and Christmas too. Carolyn walked down the stairs into the lounge where her daughters, adopted son and her ex-daughter in law.

"What happened Mom?" Amy asked.

"He had a panic attack, he is sleeping now but I'm going to cook for us all."

"Okay, do you need any help?" Nancy asked.

"Mark?" She sighed.

"Coming."

They both walked into the kitchen and Carolyn put on an apron, Mark did so too. Whenever he was around her, he did exactly as said. Both of them cooked for the next two hours, they had made baked tomato pasta with salad and garlic bread. The sisters and Addison moved the couch and made the long table only ever got out at Christmas or thanksgiving. They were all sat around the table waiting for the dinner as they were all starved.

"Mark dear."

"Yes?"

"Can you go wake up Meredith and Derek?"

"Okay."

Mark took off his apron and ran upstairs. He could hear a noise as he walked up the stairs, the bathroom door was open and he walked in. Derek was dry heaving into the toilet with tears rolling down his face whilst Meredith rubbed his back and played with his dark black loose curls. After a few minutes he finished and stood up off the floor. He walked over to the sink and washed out his mouth and then washed his pasty face.

"30 minutes he was like that Mark." She whispered in his ear.

"Derek, mom's serving dinner now are you up to it?"

"Yes." He sighed.

Derek quickly brushed his teeth and walked towards the door.

"Can I get changed?"

"Of course."

Derek walked into his bedroom slamming into the wall on his way, he swiftly changed into a pair of blue and white pin stripes and a dark blue shirt. He put on a black fleecy jacket and a pair of slippers. He opened the door and Meredith grabbed hold of him because he looked as he was going to collapse.

"Let's go down baby."

They walked downstairs where Mark was preparing the table.

"Hi Derek." Mom said smiling at her sickly looking son.

Meredith helped him sit down before sitting down next to him. Just the smell of the strong garlic or the even stronger cheese made him want to heave up his guts. He took a small deep breath and swallowed down the rising bile threatening to expel itself.

"Eat up." Mark laughed sitting at the other side of Derek.

They all started to eat and laugh. Derek took a single piece of garlic bread and a small spoon of pasta and placed it on his plate. He managed to eat it all slowly, taking minuscule bites. Meredith must've been starved as she cleaned off 2 large servings of pasta. Around 10 minutes after Derek had finished he felt the nausea increasing at a rapid pace. He took a strong deep breath and tried to swallow sharply but its effect was non-existent.

"Sorry, excuse me." He said standing up and placing the napkin from his legs to his plate.

Derek swiftly walked upstairs with his mother following shortly behind. He was scared to even breathe by the time he sat down on the cold floor. Carolyn walked into the room and quickly sat down next to his shaking body.

"Your okay, just take some deep breaths."

As soon as he did he bolted forwards and threw up the small amount of foods he'd just had. Carolyn rubbed the side of his arm whilst reaching up to get a glass of water for him. After maybe 5 minutes he collapsed back onto his mom. She tried to wake him up but it was very unsuccessful. Derek was beyond exhausted, he hadn't felt so tired since intern year, he felt as if he could sleep for an entire week straight. She placed his head on the floor and ran out of the bathroom, down the stairs into the lounge where everyone were still sat around the table.

"Meredith, Mark?"

"Yeah." Mark replied as she stood up after seeing how worried his mom looked.

"He's collapsed."

Mark and Meredith ran upstairs as fast as they could to the bathroom. Carolyn followed but grabbed a blanket and some pillows first. He was fast asleep covered in sweat snoring ever so slightly. His mom placed the pillows under his head and blanket over him while Meredith sat with him.

"You guys go, I have him." Meredith said.

"Are you sure?" Asked Mark.

"Yes."