You know I adore you, I'm crazier for you
Than I was at sixteen, lost in a film scene
Waving homecoming queens, marching band playing
I'm lost in the lights
xxx
Gina Porter was never one to believe in fairytales. Except she was. At least when she was little she was. As it usually happens it started with her parents, well more specifically her dad. She was just the tender age of ten when she first learned what it meant to be connected to someone through matching words on skin, or matching tattoo designs.
Gina's father loved the idea of soulmates, he told her about all these stories of how they came to find each other and what they would mean to one another. How every single soulmate pairing was different. Ms. Porter wasn't always a fan of her husband telling such tales. She would always leave the room, roll her eyes, or show some kind of distain toward the entire thing.
The story of how her mother and father fell in love was a short story from how Gina knows it. They met in college, mom wanted to focus on her studies and dad wanted to start a family. He was the softness that perfectly fit her mothers otherwise jagged edges. Gina had always assumed her parents were soulmates.
Denver, Colorado
October 16th 2014
1:15pm
When she met Ricky she thought maybe fairytales could be like real life.
That she could be like princess Tiana and that her frog prince would just take a little time to warm up to her.
Ten year old Gina Porter wanted to tell the soft boy, his face littered in freckles, with caramel skin and dark brown curls that she was his soulmate. Ricky Witter was one of the smartest kids in the class. He always had his hand raised and the right answer for what ever the teacher asked. He even helped her with a couple of math problems when she asked, all with a smile. He was calm, shy and quiet and everything ten year old Gina wanted in a soulmate.
(Even though her mark hadn't shown up yet...maybe someday it would)
Maybe he just needs to kiss me for it to show up? Like when Tiana and Naviene kissed in the princess and the frog?!
Only Gina had learned that day (life would soon remind her, more than once) that life isn't a fairytale.
Recess was one of her favorite parts of the school day. The greatest feeling in the world was probably swinging on the swings. The feeling of wind blowing in her hair, the instant feelings of simultaneous relief and freedom with a taste of excitement. Gina can't help but go higher and higher. She's taught from an early age by her mother to want more, more, more while her father does everything in his power to work against that.
She sees him in that moment. Gina later realizes she will always look back at it as one of the most impulsive things she's ever done in her life because she jumps off the swing set, runs to the corner of the playground where he's quietly reading and kisses him. Just a small innocent peck and that's all it takes.
Now I'm feeling hopeless, ripped up my prom dress
Running through rose thorns, I saw the scoreboard
And ran for my life (Ah)
It's all it takes for 5th graders to be 5th graders and nearly the entire playground to begin their cooing and hollering. Ricky stands in an instant his face now beating as red as his caramel skin would show, he shoves Gina a few feet away. "W-What are you doing?"
The giant smile on her face falls, I didn't feel anything.
The curly haired brunette could see it in his eyes as they were reflected in hers. The starling disappointment at the lack of spark; even ten year old Gina Porter knew she didn't feel like she should've if they were really soulmates.
"I-I'm so sorry Ricky." The curly haired girl lowly says to her shoes, Gina feels the eyes of everyone in school on her back and already hears the muted chuckles, snickers and whispers teasing her rejection. "Did she really think he was her soulmate? "I thought she didn't have a mark?" "Didn't she get here like a week ago?"
"Haven't we talked like once? I don't even know you, Just leave me alone you freak." Ricky's voice is cold and nothing like the voice she remembers when he helped her.
The tears are falling down her face faster than she can stop them, she nods and runs far from the cruel whispers, the laughter, and her false soulmate. Gina's still new to the school but thankfully she doesn't have to do that much fast paced wandering around the building to find an empty space behind the stairwell. She finally lets herself release a sob as her mind plagues her with regret and frustration.
Now no one will ever talk to me. Great. Nice going Porter. She thinks wiping her tears and shaking her head at her rash decisions.
That was so stupid. Seriously princess and the frog?! Of all the craziest ideas you've ever had... Gina scoffs to herself, at the logic of her plan or lack thereof. I can't believe my first kiss went like that.
eww
The sentiment is all too relatable to how Gina's feeling. It's only after a minute she realizes the thought isn't hers. Gina's eyes suddenly widen at the realization. Recess isn't out for another 20 minutes, and the staircase remains solitary as the brunette looks around for the voice responsible.
"Hello?" She calls out to the empty space, and nothing calls back.
weird
this is weird
OH MY GOD Hello?!
Hi?
What is happening right now?! Am I going crazy.
My school nurse says I'm not and I guess that means you aren't either.
Gina's head quite literally feels like it's spinning at the invasion of foreign thoughts but for some reason apart of herself welcomed it and was comforted by the new voice in her mind all the same. School? Who are you? She questions, as she dries her eyes.
I'm your soulmate I guess
Hi?
You're my soulmate? She huffs at the introduction.
You have really great timing, Gina remarks to him sarcastically.
Huh?
Sorry I um thought my soulmate was someone else and I just did something totally embarrassing in front of the whole school.
oh...Did you..Kiss him?
How do you know? Gina panics a bit. If theirs gonna be a person in her head from now on she needs to set some serious boundaries for future completely embarrassing and humiliating moments in her life.
well you mentioned something about kissing
but you were also kind of sad too
are you okay?
Gina sniffles and really thinks about the question before she breathes out and responds, yeah it's just always hard with new schools and stuff I only got here like a couple weeks ago. which is when school started but still...
it sounds hard, I've never had to move before
I've never had to kiss anybody either
It sounds kinda gross
Gross? She questions, again only this time she's confused yet amused at the same time. A soft chuckle rises from within her.
Yea I mean your like putting your face holes together and like tongues get in there and stuff
Ew dude you make it sound so gross
it kinda is
Yea I guess it is , the school bell rings a startling sound interrupting her next thought. damn, Gina curses checking her watch: 1:55pm. The young brunette has to get to class soon but before then she has to ask him what she's been dying to ask him all along.
Hey I gotta go but umm before I do,
what's your name?
Gina doesn't hear from him for another month.
xxx
Ricky Bowen was a bit of a hopeless romantic. It's not his fault entirely because the thing is Ricky's life sort of starts out as a fairytale. Until it's not.
He remembers his life kinda being like a fairytale until he remembers those moments where his parents are fighting in the kitchen after they've tucked him away into bed. Away from the whispered yelling and beady eyes, open glares that's usually muted when he sat down at breakfast. Of course life isn't always a fairytale.
His mom forgets him at baseball practice and dad rips her a new one, then she mentions the trash he forgot to take out that week and it practically becomes a cycle till Ricky wakes up in the middle of the night and then its not so bad. They also make pillow forts together, make cookies, and watch reruns of Family Matters together until his mom falls asleep on his dad's shoulder then all is right in the world again. Ricky's life isnt perfect but he loves his parents more than anything.
In those moments when he see's his mom fall asleep on his dad's shoulder it reassures the fact that they're soulmates. That thing that everyone at school is always talking about now. He knows that just like those books his dad was always reading to him at night, his parents were meant to be together because Ricky learns from a very young age that love is never easy.
His parents fight about whether to tell him about soulmates too. It's not like its something they can stop I mean everyone in 6th grade knows you've got a soulmate. Someone made for you so you won't be so lonely in the world.
Ricky thinks this is a real cool idea because even though he's got Big Red, Nini, Ash, even Kourtney and his parents, he's always wanted a sibling. Whether it was older or younger Ricky always wanted someone else around the house, someone to turn to when life wasn't really a fairytale.
Jefferson Middle School
Salt Lake City, Utah
October 16th 2014
1:21pm
Lunch at Jefferson Middle School is never quiet. Long blue tables are filled all around the room as chattering students talk of the latest episode of "Sam and Cat" or South Park if you didn't get caught by your parents (Ricky wasn't always so lucky), Marvel movies and of course, soulmates.
Eleven year old Ricky Bowen (still mark-less) is definitely not trying to steal glances at Nini Salazar Roberts from across the room. Because as half the table agreed "girls are lame" the only protest to that being the disagreeing frown on Ricky's face while Red verbally opposes saying "That seems a little misogynistic." They're eleven so the conversation shifts like a mile a minute after that and the last Ricky checked they were all talking about Power Rangers before he got sucked into the void that was Nini.
Ever since last year Ricky's realized Nini is kinda pretty whenever she's climbing the monkey bars on the playground at recess or a lot of the time and not just then. She also smiles at him a lot more than she used to, definitely more than back when he used to melt her barbie dolls. She smells really good too.
Hanging out with Kourtney, Nini, Ashlyn and Red during recess was starting to become one of the best parts of his day. He's known them all forever of course in that way that everyone in elementary school knows everyone but it's only just recently Ash starts inviting them over because Red says her mom makes the best snacks. They watch movies together, have burping contests (which Nini laughs at despite her nose scrunched up in disapproval while Kortney looks on in disgust), and pull pranks on teachers and other adults all laughing at the results.
Now no one will ever talk to me, the thought enters his mind with no consequence but his confusion and panic.
woah, Ricky thinks to himself, as he looks around the table.
His table of very male friends with prepubescent voices sure but no voice as soft and as pretty as this. or as sad either.He shakes his head of the foreign thought that invades his mind and tries to finish the last of his potato chips in peace. Well as much peace as you can get in a middle school cafeteria.
Seriously princess and the frog?!
It's like a floodgate, the thoughts keep coming.
"What the hell?! The princess and the frog?!" Ricky breaks and finally responds out loud, a little too loudly. The entire table looks to him and blinks. Two tables over he can see Nini look to him with doe brown eyes in concern. Now it's not so strange anymore but it's scary because the voice is in his head and he doesn't know where it's coming from or what it means. Only that the feeling that comes from it isn't all too foreign but kinda warm and welcoming, its the only thing that keeps him from screaming for help at the top of his lungs in the middle of lunch in the Godforsaken cafeteria. Other than complete humiliation which he's just now managed to attain for himself.
great, the curly haired boy thinks to himself sarcastically, wondering when the thoughts would cease.
"Hey man are you okay?" asks Red slightly concerned, as Ricky's cheeks begin to burn at the sight of the minimal spectacle he's now become. He knows he's only asking because Red wants to be a good friend so he can then ask Danny with a non-guilty conscious what happened in the latest episode of his favorite Power Rangers series. Ricky decidedly rather than lie tries to put his head down instead,maybe now it'll leave me alone.
I can't believe my first kiss went like that.
eww kissing?
This is the last straw, Ricky's head pops up at that last thought as he drags Red up from his seat along with him and away from the cafeteria.
"Woah dude! Danny was just getting to the good pa-"
"I keep hearing thoughts in my head and I don't think they're all me dude!" Red blinks at this interruption and they're suddenly walking down the hallway toward the familiar path, to the nurses office.
weird
this is weird, Ricky thinks exhaustingly.
"Mr. Bowen, Mr. Red, What is it now? Let me guess another stomach bug?" The nurse acknowledges them both, setting down her pen on her desk to properly greet the boys. Ricky doesn't even register he's made it there until Red guides him to a seat and tries to explain the situation to a skeptical nurse Henrietta.
"Yeah I don't know what's really wrong with him today either." Red says to her as they move closer to the door, presumably out of hearing range of Ricky. Presumably.
Nurse Henrietta sighs, "This better not be part of some type of elaborate joke or prank young man. Now go off back to lunch I'll take care of your friend." Red spares Ricky another look. "I'll be fine dude." Even though I'm losing my mind, he says that last bit in his head and hopes he doesn't hear a response. Red hesitantly walks back toward the cafeteria.
"Okay so your friend told me a little bit about what's going on. But I wanna hear it from you. What seems to be the problem Ricky?" Nurse Henrietta asks sympathetically, sitting down at her desk.
Ricky fidgets a bit in his seat. "I um...I swear I'm not going crazy but...I keep hearing all these thoughts in m-my head. But..the thing is they're not all...mine?"
The nurses face changes from one of simultaneous sympathetic skepticism to wistful amusement. "Do these thoughts sound like another voice? That's not like yours?"
"Uhh yea."
"I'll need you to answer this honestly Ricky, so I can know for sure okay?"
"Okay yeah." Please don't let it be an alien inside me please don't let it be an alien, Ricky thinks as his breath hitches in panic. Red would think he was the coolest person on earth to be a human host for an alien. But it's completely invasive, he doesn't want anything non-earthly swimming around his stomach.
"Did the voice sound familiar to you at all? Did you feel a little at ease with it even?"
"Well I felt kinda warm for a second like in the pit of my stomach and it does sound kinda familiar I guess." More than just familiar it felt like it was a voice that's been there his entire life only now he could finally hear it and the whole thing was overwhelming to say the least.
"Well Ricky it's safe to say that you're not going crazy."
"Oh god I knew it...it's the aliens isn't it. They're inside me?!" Ricky nearly yells, touching his stomach.
"Aliens?" Henrietta laughs standing from her desk to get to her file cabinet, "No hun, this is your soulmate talking to you."
"M-my soulmate?" Ricky asks more confused than before, I think I liked it better when I had an alien baby. Nurse Henrietta squints in concentration as she scans the file cabinet for Ricky's file once more, only to come up empty.
"I'll have to head to the administrative office to find your file. Ricky I need you to remember to stay calm if you get anymore thoughts from your soulmate okay? They're not here to hurt you."
"Okay." Ricky replies, already playing with his hands to keep calm.
Am I going crazy, the thought startled him in the newly solitary room.
My school nurse says I'm not and I guess that means you aren't either.
We're in eachothers heads now because
I'm your soulmate I guess
Hi? Ricky awkwardly introduces himself.
You have really great timing,
Huh? What do you mean?
Sorry I um thought my soulmate was someone else and I just did something totally embarrassing in front of the whole school.
oh...Did you..Kiss him? Ricky oddly feels a spark of jealously at the question in his mind.
Why is his soulmate kissing other people?
How did you know?
well you mentioned something about kissing in your mind, well my mind,
but you were also kind of sad too
are you okay?
yeah it's just always hard with new schools and stuff I only got here like a couple weeks ago. which is when school started but still...
it sounds hard, I've never had to move before
I've never had to kiss anybody either
It sounds kinda gross
Gross? Ricky finds himself smiling at the tone of her question. I think she's laughing. For some reason Ricky just feels like he's accomplished a goal, and it makes him feel that warmth in the pit of his stomach again.
Yea I mean you're like putting your face holes together and like tongues get in there and stuff, he keeps trying to make her laugh because Ricky kinda likes the warm feeling, so he chases it and hopes that maybe he could someday hear her laugh in real time.
Ew dude you make it sound so gross
it kinda is
Yea I guess it is, Ricky smiles again and is about to ask her the million dollar question when Nurse Henrietta walks in with his dad in tow.
"Dad!" Ricky excitedly springings up from his seat to give his father a hug.
"So you're having alien babies? Aren't you a little young?" Mike Bowen asks his son, with eyes jokingly squinted in question. Ricky laughs at his fathers off hand attitude on the situation and he suddenly finds himself in his dads truck being driven to the only home he's ever known. After talking to his soulmate he's grateful.
Mike Bowen carefully regurgitates the information given to him by Nurse Henrietta to his son on this rare type of connection that exists between soulmates that can talk to one another telepathically. How it can be fragile, one-sided at times or even in nature. Ricky wants to ask if he's ever talked to mom in her head but his gut tells him not to and he listens. Instead Ricky looks out of the rear door window and closes his eyes.
Hi again umm it was nice talking to you
I was gonna ask
What's your name?
Ricky only half hides his disappointment when she doesn't respond right away. Or at all.
xxx
Denver, Colorado
November 7th 2014
3:15pm
she's so pretty
Whose pretty?
Gina next step on the wooden dance floor falters that the sudden foreign thought. She hadn't heard his voice since she first met him (sort of) and now the first thing that she hears is him talking about someone else. She's a bit breathless and it's not all because of the routine.
Hello? She tries to speak to him again like the countless times she's tried to over the last month but it seems to be no use; Gina just can't get a hold of her soulmate.
She sighs and lets her body relax as she walks to the tan wooden bar. Her arms touch the handle, centering herself. Raising her head after a couple of deep breaths she sees the clock positioned overhead. Then Gina remembers, it's friday, and she smiles. It's her dad's turn to pick her up today. The curly haired 5th grader books it to the dance studio entrance.
"How was it today princess?" her father calls to her as she makes her way to the passenger seat, her seat. Gina looks at her dad and softly smiles because he's helped her learn to love the little things. Like the fact that he asks her about her whole day in general not just school because if anyone knows how hard it is for Gina it's her dad.
"Alright look old man I know you're only asking for the gossip, so let's keep our interactions straightforward shall we?" Gina replies, raising an eyebrow.
It's not the same when her mother picks her up. She asks her if her techniques gotten better, or if she's been putting in the same amount of hours as the other girls in the studio, then if it hasn't been a stressful day at work will give her a small smile and let her play whatever she wants on the radio. With her dad she's too caught up in the gossip, laughter, and telling each other about their days that it's hard to pay attention to the oldies playlist her father usually listens to when coming home. Sometimes they sing along.
Her father sputters jokingly while he drives past the studio and an endless stream of cafe's. Gina tries to keep her smile from growing. "Okay so I've been caught, What's the 411 Gigi?"
"Aren't you a little old for tween gossip?"
"Aren't you a little young to be questioning your father? Don't think I let that old man comment slide, you're going to pay for that later when I whoop your sorry behind in Mario Kart."
"Oh so the old man has jokes now." Gina responds amused.
"The old man wants to hear about his daughters day thank you very much."
"Alright, Alright so remember how I told you a couple of weeks ago how that blonde popular girl that goes to the high school, Amber was dating Jonah Beck again?"
"Yes of course. Those two were a disaster, They work much better as friends" Her dad responds, shaking his head.
"I know right! Anyways..turns out that's old news because she's actually dating Andi Mack. They found out they were soulmates just last week."
"No! Really? Those two?" It kinda makes sense, Gina thinks to herself as she notes her dad's widened eyes at the news yet he looked pleased too. Like he knew something that Gina didn't see before she told him about it. Dad said gay rights!
"Yep that was my thoughts exactly when I heard Iris Feldman talking about it in the bathroom."
"You know honey you could always try... and get this type of information first hand by actually talking to people rather than just over hearing everything. Might make your source stronger, I don't know." Andrew Porter softly notes to his daughter.
Gina's smile drops a little, and her dad takes his eyes off the road for a second noticing her change in mood, "Anything else happen today hun?" He swiftly changes the subject.
Shes so pretty, the thought comes back to the fore front of her mind as she recalls what her soulmate said today. She doesn't really know what bothers her more the fact that he's thinking of somebody else that way, or that she's never met him, or that she doesn't even feel like she has a right to be mad at her soulmate for thinking of someone else. It might just be the fact that he didn't respond and doesn't ever. Gina frowns at the thoughts swirling in her mind and her father notices.
"Well, I got a thought from my soulmate finally. But I don't think he meant to talk to me and I tried to talk to him but I got nothing back...as usual."
"You gotta be patient with these kinda things, Gina" Her father responds as he pulls into their small driveway. She knows it's serious because he calls her Gina instead of princess or Gigi.
"I know Dad." She replies, unbuckling her seat belt ready to call the conversation in.
"You shouldn't give up on them so early in the game." She doesn't know why but in that moment Gina loves her dad more than she loves most things in the world, even dancing.
xxx
New York City Charter School of the Arts
December 13th 2015
10:35am
"She took that role from you cause she's a heartless bitch."
Gina Porter is practically a master at overhearing things. The untamed loud shrill of New York, the cop cars, ambulances and construction are no match for her hearing. Especially with the acoustics in the bathroom. She recognizes the voices speaking before she sees them.
They whisper in the hallway, "She's a bad, bad girl" (Okay)
The whole school is rolling fake dice
You play stupid games, you win stupid prizes
It's basic bitch number one and her not-so-loyal minions, Gina thinks to herself in the stall. She resists the urge to roll her eyes before she reveals herself to them. One of them is crying because she didn't get the part of Clara for the very highly anticipated production of "The Nutcracker". Gina was going to be the very first "African-American" female lead for the production in the school's history.
"I mean like she isn't even as good as me you know." Basic Bitch otherwise known as Emily cries out.
"The only reason why they casted her is because...well you know." Basic bitches minion whispers the last part of her sentence like she's inciting some kind of curse. She did not just say that. Gina figures it's as good a time as any to make her appearance.
Nearly kicking the stall open all three girls jump at the sudden startling noise. Gina makes eye contact with all three of them; shaking, as they should, and moves to wash her hands in the porcelain sink.
The bathroom is silent, all that's heard is Emily's sniffles, the tap water running and the impatient rap of nails from one of the minions on the sink. "Ugh would you just leave already." One of them snaps, Gina's pretty sure it's the one who made the blatantly racist comment. She turns off the water ever so slowly and turns to her. Emily and her other follower next to her look a little unnerved by the entire situation but the one in front of her wishing her to leave looks like she's fuming. Madison, Addison whatever the fuck her name is, was done for.
"What exactly are you gonna do if I don't?" Gina responds, arms crossing. "Better tell daddy to buy you a new school to go to because I'm not going anywhere." Gina almost never says she's going to stay somewhere, even more rarely does she promise it because of the constant movement her mother's job entails but in this moment she means it more than she's ever meant anything else she's ever said.
"And if you have a problem with that you can kiss my "role stealing" ass." Gina sharply directs that last part to Emily and her little friend now cowering in the corner of the bathroom and takes her stormy leave.
She's a heartless bitch, echoes in her mind as she makes her way back to class. So what if I'am. She was used to comments like this everywhere she went, her walls followed her everywhere. No matter how many times her dad told her sometimes they were better down.
Before she knows it Gina's in her seat learning about Confucianism and looking out the window waiting for the day to end. She wants to groan when she looks at the clock and sees its only eleven.
She isn't even as good as me
Words like that from others don't normally get to her like they used to because Gina had developed thick skin, her mom made sure of that. What those words did remind her of was her mother in general. The simple questions she would ask in car rides home when dad was too busy working that would set her on edge because all her mother would ever want from her is more, more, more and never enough.
I'm not gonna break down in tears while learning about ancient china, please. Gina thinks to herself, looking down at her notebook feeling the heavy weight in her eyes.
Ancient China?
Gina nearly drops everything on her desk on the floor with how startled she is by the thought. The person to the left of her gives her a look before going back to taking notes while she readjusts herself.
Man why does he always listen to the weirdest thoughts.
Why do you always have the weirdest thoughts?
Gina swears she can feel his amusement increase with every word. That alone gives her the strength to blink her tears away. She thinks of the times she's heard an array of random one-sided thoughts from him ranging from koala bears to teenage mutant ninja turtles. All of them usually super late at night but for some reason Gina doesn't really have the energy to tease him about it right now, even if this is the only chance she'll get for a while.
You doing okay?
I feel like you ask me that every time we talk
well this is only the second time we've talked like this
I'm gonna be okay just under a lot of pressure right now
Well my dad's always tells me when in doubt, make no sense
What does that even mean?
I have no idea
Where'd he get that from?
An ancient chinese proverb I think
At the last thought Gina let's a chuckle slip and forgets she's in the middle of history class. Mr. Miller spares her a glare while some of the students grant her either envious looks or disdainful ones. Just like that her guard is back up, and she matches them with looks of her own. This is New York of all places, nobody's gonna catch me slipping.
Hello? Gina stares back out the window and hopes this time is different from the others but all she gets is silence.
It takes her a second to realize that maybe she can't have it both ways. Can I?
xxx
The Bowen Residence
February 12th 2017
6:13pm
Leave it to Mr. and Mrs. Bowen to argue two days before Valentines Day. As if Ricky wasn't stressed enough with what to get Nini for their first Valentine's Day as a couple. Now he had to hear the "standard of love" themselves argue over who left the back door unlocked (as if anyone would try to break in). Actually I hope someone does maybe it would save me from this screaming match, the thirteen year old groans as he falls on his bed.
Will the fighting ever stop?
His eyes are closed and he wishes he could just block the noise out.
I guess it's my turn to ask if your okay
Ricky nearly falls off his bed, he's so startled. With his arms extended to save him from his fall, he pushes himself back onto the comforter in his bed and breathes out, surprised.
Yea no I-I'm fine just my parents arguing again
it's not big deal
Oh...
Yeah they tend to do that sometimes
Or all the time just without all the yelling
Sometimes I think that's worse
Ricky doesn't really know why he's telling her all this. He thinks maybe it's because she only pops up in his head like once a year and she's not someone he's not directly gonna confront at least not for a long time at this rate. He's not sure he even wants to if they'd just end up like his parents, so at this point he just goes with it.
Must be tough dealing with all that and not being able to get the teletubies theme song out of your head
Ricky Bowen is about to lose his Goddamn mind, He verbally keyboard smashes in real time. If he didn't already collapse to the floor at her first thought he's about ready to now. He takes a pillow and covers his face in embarrassment. The urge to smother himself rises.
OH MY GOD You did not hear that coming from me I-
And then there was that feeling again, the warmth that didn't wanna leave the pit of his stomach. That feeling of assurance he got when they first met (sorta) because he was pretty sure he made her laugh.
Well it wasn't me
It was ONE TIME that was like months ago
How do you even remember that?
I don't know I guess your really random thoughts kinda stick
Ricky adjusts his position on the bed and now he's laying down, gathering some of his covers over himself. He let's himself forget that Ashlyn was supposed to text him the rest of the algebra homework. Or that his parents went silent down stairs which could only mean his dad went out or that Nini was in need of a seriously cool valentines day gift in two days time. Ricky just breathes.
Thank you
For the record I'm glad it's you
whoever you are
It's you and me, there's nothing like this
Miss Americana and The Heartbreak Prince (Okay)
We're so sad, we paint the town blue
Voted most likely to run away with you
xxx
Washington Heights, New York
April 20th 2017
8:28am
Andrew Porter dies of lung cancer when Gina is just twelve years old and she's not quite sure how to deal with her favorite person just being gone. Sometimes she wakes up crying and she doesn't really have an explanation why. Then there are days that go by where she doesn't talk at all. Or want to leave her bed.
Drives to school with her mom feel suffocating and in the car. They don't speak but they can't let the music play either because then if it's one of her dad's favorite oldies hits that comes on, Gina breaks down into tears now that her singing partner isn't here anymore.
Today is one of those days she doesn't want to leave her bed.
When she wasn't looking a thought sneaked into her head, Hey haven't heard from you in a while.
I hope your okay
Gina buries herself in her covers and doesn't want to come out. She hears her door creak open and feels the dip in the bed, the weight of someone sitting beside her laying there. Mrs. Porter lays her hand on her daughter's forehead brushing away her curls as she adjusts herself to her daughters bed. Gina sobs when she realizes it's one of those days for her mom too.
(Ricky gives up after a couple of months)
xxx
Washington Heights, New York
July 12th 2018
10:08pm
"Your father and I weren't soulmates. People like us don't get happy endings." Grace Porter had just about enough of her daughters attitude. After months of hurting, grieving and eventually coming together. Mrs. Porter was proud to say that she and her daughter had gotten much closer. Partly because of the fact that they would have to walk on egg-shells around one another and the other part because they were Porter women, they just had to keep going.
"What?" Gina can't hear herself say the word, emotion too thick in her words. Her mother is all jagged edges now and her father isn't here to heal the cuts made by the sharp heed of her words. No no no.
"No it's not true! Dad would never lie to me like that!" Gina says her voice raising by the minute.
"He didn't lie to you." Her mother responds calmly to her, her eyes closing in frustration.
"S-so what he just didn't tell me the truth? Is that it?"
"Yes." It's a simple three letter word, an answer to her question, and it unpacks and unravels years of lies. Gina's face crumbles, because her mother is all she has now and she has no choice but to believe what she says.
"Baby, its complicated. I knew he shouldn't have filled your head with all those stories about soulmates and fairytales." she sighs, as she sits on the dining room chair. Her head is in her hands now and she knows she can't put this conversation off any longer.
"Mom what are you talking about?" Tears are streaming down Gina's face and she's still standing in shock, her head spinning at the news.
"Come on honey there's quite a bit I gotta explain to you." Grace says, tiredly sniffing.
"Your father and I weren't soulmates. The truth is I never had a mark neither did your father but we were still content anyways. We had you. And yes we had our disagreements but they were always about the same thing: what we would tell you about soulmates. I wanted to tell you about the Porter curse right away but your father..."
"The Porter curse? Mom that sounds crazy. What are you even talking about?" Gina can feel a headache coming as her mind reels at the onslaught of information.
"Soul mark's making any type of appearances in our family have always been bad omens. The Porters for generations have always had one sided soulmates. Either you're the only one who has the mark, or you fall in love with someone's soulmate but their not yours in return, or you do find your soulmate and they die when you meet. It's a cataclysm of potential disasters."
The curly haired fourteen year old nodded, her mouth agape at the information, it makes sense now. Why her mother was always teaching her about wanting more, about hardening up to the world. Because someday someone would become that world and it could all come crashing down. It could destroy her if she wasn't strong enough.
"I never knew who my soulmate was because I never got my mark and I hope I never do because this kind of curse is not for the weak, Gina and I'm...I'm afraid that's what I might be." Gina's eyes immediately widen at the statement, the dried tears on her face illuminated in the soft golden light.
"Mom no don't be crazy you're one of the strongest people I know." She hesitates before she takes both of her mother's hands in hers, and for the first time in a long time Grace Porter softly smiles, tears trekking down her cheek.
"I know I can come off a bit cold sometimes baby but I need you to know it's because everyday when I'm out there helping people and we're on the move I see the real world and it's not always so kind to people who were like your father." Gina's eyes glisten, nodding.
"And you did everything you could to make sure I wasn't like that." The tears fall despite her best efforts but she can't seem to look away from her mother.
Ms. Porter sighed, "I failed...but I'm glad I did. You're the best parts of him. I think he knew that."
Gina hugs her mother and she can tell it catches her off guard because there is a beat of hesitation before her arms wrap firmly around her, she feels safe. She's going to rebuild those walls, and try her best to forget about soulmates, forget about fairy tales, forget about all of it. This is reality. This is the reality for people like them.
xxx
Bowen Residence
June 3rd 2019
7:19pm
For the first time in a long time it's quiet when Ricky comes home from the skate park. It takes less than two minutes to see the reason why, when he sets his things down on the couch and puts his skateboard away. He sees his dad fidgeting with a bottle of beer in his hand.
"That skateboard better not be on the ground." Mike Bowen says to his son, his back still turned to him as he sits on a stool in the kitchen.
"It's not it's in the ottoman. I'm not in the business of nearly killing you pops. Speaking of which, where's mom?" Ricky slyly asks, opening the cabinet to find Doritos.
"Not funny and she's up stairs, she's getting ready for a trip." His father replies sardonically, finishing his beer.
"A trip? Where is she going?"
"To Chicago, for work." They share a look, and Ricky makes his way upstairs to find his mom settling the suitcase in front of his parents bedroom door.
"Hey sweetie I didn't hear you come in." Lynne Bowen slightly gives a nervous smile, opening her arms to hug her son.
"Your leaving?" Ricky says lowly, in half-disbelief and half-discontent, he hugs her back.
"Oh honey it's only for about a couple of weeks nothing too crazy. I'll be going back and forth for a bit especially during the fall but I should be here for most of the summer." This isn't making any sense, mom never travels this much for work.
Suddenly Ricky's throat feels tight and there's a lump that won't leave because this feels like more than just a business trip. He clears his throat and hugs his mother again, "I love you mom. Safe travels." It's too quick of a goodbye because it's all too painful.
"Oh I'm not leaving no-" Ricky slams the door to his bedroom shut before she can finish. He rubs his face with his hands and sighs.
He wants his mom to let him eat all the cookie batter before she puts it in the oven, He wants his dad to make an awful Steve Urkel impression and for his mom to die of laughter like she usually does, he wants the feeling of home again. Ricky is more than anything not just hurt but angry it's gone. So angry he could punch a fucking wall.
Because there was yelling then there wasn't and everything's shit now.
Soulmates are such bullshit. Ricky thinks as he sinks into his mattress, he hopes his covers could envelope him better than his problems do.
(it might just be the first thought she's gotten from him in two years, It stings when it first reaches Gina's mind but then she realizes he's right)
It's a bit too early to call it a night but with the day he's had Ricky's calling it. He especially wants to call it when he hears the front door open but he can't bring himself to get up and actually say goodbye to his mom for now. He wishes she could just leave. But he also wishes she would take those step toward him give him a kiss on the forehead and stay. Instead he hears hesitant steps leaving his room and a deep sigh.
He wishes the door would just close. He wishes everyone would just leave him alone. He wishes he slept through this non-fight of all fights.
xxx
The Bowen Residence
October 1st 2019
7:50pm
"So that's it you're just gonna give up on this? On mom just like that?" Ricky feels his voice rise and the tears threaten to fall as his voice nearly cracks. He blinks them away and clears his throat wishing this conversation would end or keep going just whatever it took to get his sense of normalcy back.
"Ricky, it's not that simple. It's never been that simple and you know that." Mike Bowen pointedly says to his son with a tone of finality foreign to him. He says it like he expects him to just know why this is happening. Yes they argued and fought but love is never easy right? Ricky and his father don't really argue. Lynne Bowen leaving seems to have shaken things up in more than one front and Ricky doesn't like the change.
"Your mother found her soulmate in Chicago." His father says, he can't look at his son in that moment.
"God...It's always soulmates isn't it." The statement rests bitterly on his tongue as he shakes his head incredulously. Ricky is just about fed up with the entire night so he races up to his room.
"Ricky-" He hears his father start exhaustedly, if there was anything Mike Bowen wanted for his son it was faith in things like this. Something bigger than him that could bring people together rather than tear them apart.
Falling on his bed, eyes closed his thoughts race. He wouldn't know what to do with himself if a thought from his soulmate just popped into his mind so he takes out the ultimate weapon of distraction (not a blunt, maybe later), his phone. He mindlessly (not so much) scrolls through instagram and stumbles upon her.
She's beautiful. Yea what else is new.
Then all of a sudden it's decided. Ricky can't give up on her just yet, Not like dad did with mom. Just like he did when he started the play to begin with, He did it to win her back. Marks on skin don't decide the fates of hearts people do. Maybe I should...do it?
Ricky thinks back to just two days prior after coming back home from the skate park after waves of foreign (and maybe not so foreign, if he doesn't try so hard not to remember) feelings washed over him after that conversation with Gina. The idea just falls right into his lap when he can't get her words (or her if he's being honest) out of his head. Outsiders gotta stick together right?
So maybe that's why a newly determined Ricky Bowen sits straight up from his bed and sends a few messages on twitter that change everything.
I think you should come home
And I'll never let you (Go) 'cause I know this is a (Fight)
That someday we're gonna (Win), I just thought you should know
xxx