Chapter 4

Define True North

Therapy feels like an introvert's hell. Which Izuku can identify as after taking an enneagram test per Uravity's insistence.

Apparently, he's a 5 wing 6.

A 5 is apparently extremely introverted.

So, when the therapist cracks open the door and pins Izuku between him and Uravity with a smile and a calmly extended hand and a "Nice to meet you, you can call me Corvan," he immediately feels like he's trapped.

"I'll see you later Izuku!" Uravity smiles and wriggles her fingers at him.

"Ah-Ah- Right," he stutters and smiles back at her, mimicking her little wave with his own hands.

She heads back down the hallways, looking totally at peace between the soft couches and the little decorative bowls of apples and abstract art. Maybe it's the way her sweater hangs off one shoulder and shows her collarbone or the way her jeans fit in a way that makes Izuku's chest feel a bit too hot.

He isn't sure.

Corvan doesn't seem to mind his silence. Corvan also doesn't seem to mind how he stands a step past the threshold. Instead the man simply closes the door, softly and gently before moving across the space.

It's not set up like he would have thought it would be. Not that Izuku's ever been in a therapist's office, but he thought it would be more… clinical.

Inside, Corvan's office is set up like a miniature apartment. A soft gray couch on crème carpet with a dark wood coffee table. There's a chair across from the couch, and a little kitchenette in the corner by the door. If Izuku hadn't made sure this was the right address, and verified that Corvan Freed Velvatear was a certified therapist and apparently had done great work on the process of regular Hero emotional and mental care, he might not have believed this isn't an apartment.

"Would you like anything to drink, Mr. Midoriya?" Corvan asks calmly as he moves about the space, a careful shift in his steps and a fluidity that isn't found in what Izuku would classify as civilians.

Corvan- despite his words on getting a drink- stops by the couch, eyes on Izuku as he waits for a response.

"Uh- tea-" Izuku pauses and glances at the clock. 11 am. Mr. Compress didn't drink tea in the mornings. No one in the League did. It was fine. "Tea. If that's alright."

"Green or?" Corvan asks as he frees his hands from his pockets- producing two tea bags in each hand. It's a trick that has Izuku blink and reconsider the man.

"G-green," Izuku mutters as the man heads across the room to the kitchenette.

The room is quiet, but it's a gentle quiet interestingly enough. One where Izuku takes a spot on the couch and watches Corvan brew a kettle of hot water and set a pair of cups on a tray. Izuku notes that he puts three cups instead of two, and that two of them are Western cups, a delicate handle as opposed to the ceramic mugs most often used in Japan.

Corvan doesn't make a comment on it as he returns and sets the tray on the table between him and the couch. He takes a seat in the chair across from Izuku, pouring water into the teacup before looking to Izuku.

It takes a moment for him to realize there's a silent question attached to it.

"Ah- this one," Izuku says, tapping the Japanese cup. Corvan pours in the hot water without comment, adding in the bag for green tea before setting the kettle back down.

"I grew up in the UK- Leeds- if you can believe it," Corvan says, picking up his cup and bringing it to his lips, "so I actually prefer English tea, Earl Grey and whatnot, but most of my clients still like the traditional ones."

"Like the teacups," Izuku guesses, glancing at the third disused one. Corvan nods.

"So, I offer them the option," Corvan explains with a smile. He cradles the cup in his hands, letting the warmth soak through the ceramic before putting it back down on the table between them.

"I've never actually been to therapy, how does… how does…" Izuku starts because he is unsure if Corvan is going to. He trails off though when the man looks up- eyes attentive and interested in him as he speaks.

"Wherever you're comfortable," Corvan replies. "I'm a therapist yes, but I'm also supposed to be someone you talk to. If I'm pulling conversation out of you every time you come here, then I don't think I'm doing my job well."

Izuku supposes he can't really deny that sort of logic. He isn't really sure what else to say though, so instead the quaint little apartment lapses into silence again.

Corvan breaks it this time though, "Tell me about which movies you've watched."

Izuku blinks and stares at the man. Movies? "I never really got the chance to watch movies. There was always something they were making me do."

Corvan makes a face. "What genre do you like?"

Again, Izuku doesn't know- it's been far too long for him to remember his preference- so he shrugs as a way of answering. Corvan hums, considering for a moment before pulling out his phone. He tabs through a few different things before looking back up at him.

"What are you doing Thursday night?"

Staring at the wallpaper to try and decide if he was a good or bad person.

Possibly arguing with himself via Twice.

"I don't think I'm doing anything." Izuku allows.

"Great, we're going to see a movie. Six o'clock. Want to meet here around five thirty?" Corvan proposes it easily. Like he isn't suggesting a movie with an ex-villain.

Izuku isn't truly sure what to say. So he says yes.

The movie isn't bad. Corvan introduces him to romance of all things first, the man covering the cost of the movie and the two drinks he'd bought on a company card. He cites it all as a 'client expense, don't worry about it,' despite Izuku's protests, before ushering the confused greenette into a seat.

Movies on Thursdays seems to be a repeat thing however, as Corvan suggests it at their next session after they finish discussing the plot and relationship of the characters.

It's something that Izuku adds without complaint to his routine. He has no reason to argue with the addition, as it gives him something to discuss in the sessions, and it allows him to banter with Uravity when she (regularly) appears in his walks around the city.

It is something that Izuku notices Corvan using to his advantage though. Case in point…

"Is he really a Hero if he murders the villain at the end?" Corvan mutters, catching Izuku's eye from across the room.

"I think it's kind of interesting that the Hero chose to kill the villain though," Izuku protests, nursing his cup of green tea while Corvan enjoys his own cup of Earl Gray.

Something twinkles and shines in Corvan's grey eyes as the man replies with a casual, "Oh? Why is that?"

Izuku hums, caught by the quick observations of a man he's starting to understand is just as intellectually intelligent as he is emotionally. "Well, I think there's always that same issue with these kinds of Hero movies- the villain comes back. The Hero never finishes the job, and the Hero always has to fight them again because they've escaped, or they snuck out or because the Hero was too injured to arrest them."

Corvan nods, considering it before he sets down his tea. "Okay, so let's shift that into the real world where it's not so cut and dry. Lots of villains these days are a result of poverty or career choices not turning out. What about those? Would you still kill villains like that?"

Izuku has an answer until he opens his mouth to consider it. His mouth snaps closed with a click, and when he meets Corvan's eyes the man is smiling- soft and gentle.

"Every person has their own story," Corvan explains, "it is our job, as both Heroes and therapists, to understand it and redirect it. Just because someone is a villain doesn't mean they want to be one. You know that better than anyone."

It's a staggering line, but it's one that Corvan doesn't dwell on for too long before he's moved past it- letting it soak in just long enough for Izuku to remember it before he's offering him an olive branch.

"Refill?"

Usually they drink two cups in their hour-long session, and the back ten minutes are usually spent figuring out which movie they want to see next.

"Please," Izuku agrees, watching with some interest as Corvan picks up the kettle and moves it under the table.

His Quirk is something amazing, and a concept that Izuku couldn't quite understand but accepted nonetheless as Corvan sunk his hand elbow deep under the table. He glanced over, watching as Corvan's hand and forearm appeared out of a shadow by the sink. He set the kettle down, flicked on the tap, and filled it.

The kettle was then set on a burner, and Corvan pulled his arm free from the shadow.

"Really is no limit to that?" Izuku asks, eying the appendage that just traveled through a shadow.

Corvan shrugs. "Size of the shadow determines volume as far as I'm aware. Deep shadows are easier to use as portals as opposed to shallow ones-" He gestures around the rest of the room- where the shadows are dulled by the overhead lights or the sunlight coming through the windows. Truly the only deep shadow is the darkness underneath the tabletop.

"What about you- what's your limit?" Corvan turns the question back on him. But it's a casual inquiry instead of a forceful one- and it's accented by the fact Corvan isn't staring at him.

The man's grey eyes are narrowed as he watches the kettle on the stove, fingers lingering near the table edge as if afraid he'll have to plunge them through the shadows there to rescue the pot from boiling over.

"Right now, I have ten," Izuku says. "Four from the League, most of the others were attached to the copy I got."

Corvan hums and nods, already familiar with the fact Izuku had a copy of All for One and not the original Quirk. He hadn't questioned that either, simply accepted it and moved on. Izuku wondered what sort of information the man knew but decided that for a man like Corvan- who could travel through nearly any shadow at his whim- picking up information was probably easier than walking to the grocers.

"Any issues with them?" Corvan doesn't seem phased by the admission. Ten Quirks all housed within one scrawny little man, and yet the therapist simply cocks an eyebrow at him.

Izuku shrugs. "Touya Todoroki's Quirk- Cremation- burns all the time. Like a sunburn." It had taken him weeks to figure out how to even describe it.

Corvan frowns at that, "Have you talked to Shoto or Endeavor about that? I feel like they might know how to deal with fire Quirk related issues."

Izuku grunts and nods to that, "I… I might."

Corvan laughs and shrugs back, reaching under the table again. He pulls the kettle out this time, refilling both their cups before setting it on the tray. "It's a suggestion Izuku, you don't have to."

It's a good idea. Izuku just isn't sure if he's ready for it or not.

"What else is bothering you?"

"Toga's. I'm starting to think this is what a vampire feels like. I was going to give the Quirk to Stain, but…" He trails off and shrugs.

Stain probably won't be the best idea given the man was already dangerous enough. The last thing he needed was a Quirk like Toga's- making him impossible to track. There was just that blood-relation in the Quirks.

"Why not someone on death row?" Corvan suggests it easily and it makes Izuku wonder who this man is to make such a comment. "If the Quirk is such a discomfort for you, I imagine it's in your power to get rid of it. Transplant it into someone else or remove it entirely."

He picks up the refilled teacup, dunking the bag carefully into it a few times to try and disperse the flavor of green tea thoroughly through the water. It gives him time to think.

Not just about Corvan's curious mannerisms- how there nothing about him seems to be jerky or sharp for some reason. He is tall and thin and lanky like an afternoon shadow; a descriptor that only sticks all the more given his Quirk.

But Corvan had asked a question, and Izuku refocuses on the man's grey eyes and considers it.

The thought had occurred to him- to eject the Quirk or transplant it into someone about to die.

It still felt wrong though. On some fundamental level it felt wrong to give someone a Quirk that Izuku himself did not want. Not only an invasion of their being, but also a corruption of who they were.

"I don't… I don't want to give someone these Quirks without their consent." Izuku mutters.

Corvan smiles, nodding into his steaming teacup. "Then you already understand something most cannot." And he slurps his tea a bit sharply before elaborating. "Consent."

And it's only for a fraction of a second but red bleeds across the man's irises, the grey melting into scarlet before blending back to normal. Corvan doesn't comment on it. And Izuku decides it might not matter yet.

Therapy is not always a walk in the park. And it's not because Corvan is rude or forceful about anything. It's an infuriating fact that Izuku notices after storming out of their next session to clear his head.

He rests in the hallway. Heaving out his next breath before curling his fingers into his palms. It's stupid.

He shouldn't get upset.

Corvan is right.

He is.

On some level Izuku knows that. He does.

It doesn't make it any easier to accept that fact however.

"Fuck." He snarls the curse, tromping down the hall just a bit farther before stopping suddenly.

Leading down the hallway is a set of stands, mixed in with a few chairs and such for patients. One two of the stands are glass bowls, green and red apples poured into them. Izuku pauses, reaching out and picking up a green one.

He rubs his thumbs over the skin, pursing his lips.

He takes a bite. Chews it thoroughly before swallowing and considering the rest of it.

Uravity… Uraraka… trusts him to continue down the right path. She trusts him even after he broke her ribs with that first kick with Toga. She trusts him even after he dropped a building on her head and trapped her and her friends. She trusts him. He hurt her boss and so many of her friends... after everything that he had done- she still trusts him. Somehow.

He takes another bite of the apple.

It takes a moment to grasp Twice's Quirk. To flex it just enough to produce a double that gives Izuku a cross look as soon as it fully manifests.

"I'm being ridiculous," Izuku says to his double.

"Corvan would argue you're just struggling with accepting the emotional trauma you've received," his double says carefully.

"I have to work through both the trauma and the leftover emotional scarring in order to get a better grip on myself," Izuku murmurs, drumming his fingers carefully on the apple.

His double takes the fruit from his hands, rolling it around before taking a bite. "We knew it was a long road. Knew it would be hard. We call ourselves a monster. What kind of human recovers from that after a few therapy sessions?" His double smirks, and then tosses the apple back.

His double is the one that pushes Izuku back through the doors, much to Corvan's surprise.

"He just needed a moment," the double excuses himself, shutting the door just before Izuku deactivates the Quirk.

Corvan looks at him, then takes a sip of tea with an amused look. "So… you just gave yourself a pep talk," he finally says.

"It's not so easy facing your sins and being willing to move on from them," Izuku finally says.

Corvan nods again but fixes him with a smile. "We'll work through it. You have me. You have Uravity and," there's a twinkle in his eye when he says that 'and' and it gives Izuku a sick feeling in his stomach, "if I recall correctly then she convinced you to meet some of her coworkers a few days ago. And given that you're still here and no one is in the hospital- I take it it went well?"

"I. I guess." Damnit. Could have just walked out and left Corvan and seen him a week later. Would have been fine. Had actually happened before, when Corvan brought up Izuku's self-deprecating comments and general self-loathing.

Which.

He'd been right about. But that didn't make it pleasant to hear.

"You have friends," Corvan reiterates. "Don't shut them out just because you're scared. If they're your friends, then they already know what you did- Hero ones especially. Let them in, and they'll keep you on the right path."

There's a fragment of a memory that tickles in the back of Izuku's mind of a blonde-haired boy with frightening red eyes and a snarl. "Will they fight me?" He isn't sure if that's the right phrasing, but it comes out all the same.

"Only if you're being an idiot," Corvan replies evenly. "I will fight you if you're being an idiot," he adds helpfully.

It doesn't settle Izuku's nerves, and Corvan must have sensed that because he reaches out across the table, curling pale fingers around Izuku's scarred ones.

"Listen." And Izuku is forced to look away from his hands and at Corvan. "Friends fight. Yes. They disagree and argue and sometimes they even don't talk for a bit. But they shouldn't hurt you. Ever." He stresses that word with an amount of familiarity that gives Izuku pause.

"Do you… Have you…?"

Corvan offers a sad smile. "My Quirk gives me a mild aversion to sunlight, I was quiet and wore all black in school, and I wrote poetry in high school. Take a guess."

Izuku doesn't have to, and instead he smiles and thanks the man. Unsure of what to do with that addressed. Unsure of where this session is going or where it might lead. But willing to at least meet the man halfway.

"How are you and Ms. Uravity?" Corvan transitions topics easily and without remorse.

His brain registers the 'Ms.' in front of Uravity's name roughly the same time it registers that it's a question about their relationship. He blinks, staring at Corvan for a long moment.

"Friends," he replies.

"You have dates," Corvan suggests shamelessly.

"Her agency is right across from my apartment."

"You have four other Heroes living around your apartment, and I don't see you meeting up with them," Corvan replies with a grin.

Izuku has a feeling this is something he's not going to win.

"Uraraka wouldn't be interested in a man like me who's basically an ex-villain."

"Uraraka would likely be interested in a man that displays values similar to her own, and one that wants to help people as she herself does," Corvan counts easily, leaning back in his chair.

Izuku purses his lips, giving Corvan a look. "Please do not turn this discussion into one about my love-" he stops, swallowing before changing the phrase, "my relationships."

"Just one thing then," Corvan pushes on anyway, and Izuku can feel a tick of annoyance burning in the back of his mind.

It's something he's noticed there as well. Annoyance brings out the burn of Cremation. He tempers it, exhaling softly until there's a puff of smoke and he can feel the temperature dissolve.

"Of course," Izuku allows, because after a dozen sessions with Corvan, and just as many outings with the man, he realizes he is nothing if not intelligent and observant.

"In order to truly love someone," Corvan starts, hands splayed open and unassuming, "then you must first learn to love yourself. If you can't do that, then you are bound to mix up what love and what possession are. And possibly more importantly, if you cannot define what loving yourself feels like, you will never be able to define what being loved by someone else feels like."

Izuku scowls, unsure how to respond to that, so instead he looks up at the clock, checking to see that it's the end of their session before getting up. "A pleasure as always, Dr. Velvatear," he grumbles, sweeping out the door.

Izuku's early, but he doesn't care as he pushes through the door and immediately drops onto the couch. "Okay so Uraraka's seeing someone. And that's fine. And I realize that it's fine, because I know that's fine and she's her own person- but DAMN if I don't feel something about it!"

He sighs, collapsing back into the couch and staring up at the ceiling. "And I know it's fine," he adds softly. "I didn't say anything about being interested in her, and I didn't say anything about her seeing this guy, but I guess I just thought that…" He trails off.

One hand reaches up, tangling into his green locks and threading through them. "Okay, so I should have said something. Communication is the foundation for any relationship, and you said that if I was interested then I should have said something. But you also said I needed to learn to love myself first and I don't know how to do that when I'm still-" Izuku cuts himself off, staring wide-eyed at the person sitting in Corvan's chair.

The woman blinks, cocking an eyebrow at him as if surprised that he stopped. She splays her hands for him to continue, but he's too shocked at her appearance for him to do so.

For one, white hair is not something that anyone sees just out of the blue. And it's certainly not something that's normal when the person sitting in the chair is calmly spinning a disc of ice on her finger tip.

"Who are you?" He launches himself off the couch, flames bursting to life at his fingertips.

"Dr. Snow Velvatear, pleased to meet you," the woman responds, flexing her fingers idly before giving him a look. "My husband has been telling me about a fantastic patient of his."

Izuku is not convinced, and instead settles in his stance, feeling out his Quirks for a moment before the flames disappear. Fire would be too destructive. Rivet Stab however…

"Snow are you causing trouble again?"

Izuku halts, finding Corvan giving the woman a disapproving look as he comes in through the door. "Who is this?" He demands.

Corvan sighs, "My wife." He gestures, "Meet Snow Velvatear, also licensed therapist. We discuss cases sometimes- without details, but usually considering treatment methods." He gives his wife a cross look. "And I do believe that we agreed Mr. Midoriya would not react well to your appearance."

She smiles and laughs, light and easy. "Well I wanted to see the man you thought could be such a powerful Hero." She offers that before getting out of her chair. "Oh!" She pauses on her way to the door. "And I think Ms. Uraraka is in fact not dating someone." She offers that tease before leaving, kissing Corvan on the cheek before sauntering out.

Corvan sighs, easing across the room and picking up the kettle and teacups. "How do you feel about lunch Izuku?" He moves the kettle to the counter, setting the teacups back on a shelf before giving the man a pleading look.

His left eye is scarlet, even if his right is not. Does that… does that mean something? Izuku isn't sure.

"I… I suppose?" Izuku shrugs, unsure where this is going.

As it turns out, it's not very far, and the walk to a sandwich shop takes only fifteen minutes to get there, get seated at a table outside and order. Corvan sips a cup of hot tea slowly, enjoying the flavor of it before he sets it down.

"So."

"So." Corvan mimics the word.

"What are we discussing today?" Izuku pushes, but Corvan's eyes aren't on him. Instead the man is focused on the street by the table, peering out to it and examining the passing cars and pedestrians.

Silence encompasses the table for a time; Izuku unwilling to ask again and Corvan apparently unwilling to break the peace between them. Cars roar past, rubber tires squealing against hot asphalt before they grind to a halt with the change of a stop light.

"Tell me about what you want to do," Corvan says it suddenly and without reference and there is a deeper tone in his voice as he suddenly turns back to him.

Izuku stirs the straw around in his drink, staring out at the cars instead of meeting Corvan's gaze. "I… I dunno."

"Tell me what you wanted to be," Corvan suggests, and that is just as uncomfortable.

"As a… As a kid," Izuku starts, stalls and idles as the thoughts circulate through his mind. But Corvan of all people is understanding- allowing him to stew in the silence as he organizes the thoughts and gives space to find words to convey emotions. "I wanted to be a Hero," he mutters. "Like All Might."

"Ambitious." Corvan usually muses words like that- a habit Izuku's picked up after nearly two months of talking with the man once a week. This time however he… snorts it.

Odd.

Izuku shrugs both the comment and the tone off and continues, "I used to stay up late, sneak into the computer room and replay this one video over and over again. It was his debut- the- 'I am here!'" The words trickle out of his mouth now, a little shaky and usually punctuated by a nervous laugh, but Corvan's easy gaze and hum makes it… makes it not so hard.

"When Father took me and Mom away… I guess that dream never really changed?" He doesn't know. Hasn't had time to think about it before.

"Well you still cared about people. Even when acting as Page, you never put any civilians in danger, or killed any Heroes," Corvan reasons and the tone from before is gone- normalcy eager to replace this unknown disruption in his therapist's speech patterns.

It's true, but not quite true. Working as Page he ran roughly fifty-seven missions, give or take a handful that he didn't classify as missions, and ran into an assortment of Heroes nearly that number, some repeats. Three of them had to take sabbaticals or extended medical leave after his fights with them, one retired, and two more quit outright to choose a less extreme career.

Not that he would blame any of them.

"I don't think it's reasonable to be a Hero after what I've done," Izuku replies.

"I think that depends on who you ask," Corvan brushes away the self-deprecating comment (because that's what it is and even if Izuku can't dismiss it- he can at least acknowledge what it is now).

"The public," Izuku grumbles back, glancing out into the cars again.

The stoplight triggers, but with it comes a Hero swinging across the intersection, tape spitting from his elbows and looping around streetlights. The Hero swings across, waving a bit as he does so, before shooting out another line of tape to the next hold.

"I used to like analyzing them too," Izuku suddenly recalls. "Making notes on Quirks, abilities, all sorts of things." He smiles at the memory, then frowns as he considers where the last of those notebooks ended up. Floating in the top of a koi pond.

"Analyzers are a valuable asset to Heroes," Corvan offers it casually as the waitress swings by, setting their food onto the table and drifting away without refilling their drinks.

"So are other Heroes."

"Then why not be one?" There's the shift in his tone again. Sharper and rougher, like an accent shift.

It's a revelation that Izuku feels like should be had at the coffee table, over their usual tea and talks; not over Corvan's burger and his fried rice. Especially not while Corvan meets his gaze (his eyes are scarlet?) and nibbles on a french fry.

"I couldn't be."

Corvan smirks slightly on his next bite and the red drains out and is replaced by grey.

"Well the person you look up to is one. Why not just follow in her footsteps."

"Person I look-" Izuku frowns and scowls. "I don't look up to Uraraka. She's just-" He stops, biting his lower lip.

"If you say friend; I will dump the entirety of your rice straight into your boxers, and I will not feel bad about it." There's a disturbing amount of calm in Corvan's threat and it makes Izuku wonder if the man's actually done that before.

He never did specify which shadows were and weren't out of his reach…

Izuku huffs, leaning back in the seat. "So I like her."

"So she likes you," Corvan shoots back, and it makes Izuku glare at him. "She does. Communicate that. If nothing else then ask her to see a movie with you. Ask her what she thinks you should do."

"Why?" Izuku feels like there's a hidden motive in all of it. Something up Corvan- or perhaps even Uraraka's- sleeve that he doesn't know about and it's coming to bite him in the ass.

"Because I think she'd make a good guide for you. Something to help set you on the right path. You're starting over from fresh Izuku. You need a role model, someone to be your moral compass when your own has been so corrupted and twisted you can no longer trust it." Again, this feels like a conversation that should be had over tea and in the cleanness of Corvan's office and not in a restaurant as Corvan cuts his burger in half.

Izuku picks up his chopsticks, eating a few bites before. "A moral compass?"

Corvan shrugs. "You have a strong one, don't get me wrong. Yours just need a little straightening out is all." He takes a bite and chews it thoughtfully.

Izuku nods, and they eat in silence for a minute and it isn't until Corvan finishes half his burger and Izuku most of his rice does the silence break.

"Did you really call Uravity my moral compass?"

"Did you really have to think about calling her Uravity instead of Uraraka?"

Point.

Izuku pushes his rice around the plate. Shuffling the vegetables to one side, the grains of rice to another, and the bites of salmon to a third corner. It's a mind-numbing action, but actually something Corvan mentioned could help busy his body while his brain sorts itself out.

He also cautioned him about doing it too much but-

Baby steps.

"Why did you want to be a Hero?" Corvan jumps back to their previous topic before Izuku can propose a new one.

He grimaces, wishing he could change it- but the steely look in Corvan's eyes assures him it's not going to happen.

"I…" He shrugs helplessly- unsure what to even say. "I wanted to be a Hero that could make sure no one got hurt." There's a pause as he takes a bite and chews. "Someone that people could look to and acknowledge as a Hero instead of as a…"

"Villain," Corvan finishes when he trails off.

He glances out to the street again and Izuku follows his gaze. Someone is running through the crowd, and it takes a moment for Izuku to pin the man down in the tangle of limbs and the shove of tight bodies that is the sidewalk.

A man, mutant Quirk given the scaling around his eyes and hands. There's a purse in his hands that Izuku doubts belongs to him, one hand holding it tight to his chest while the other is used to shove pedestrians out of the way.

"Where do you think you start?" Corvan asks, unperturbed by the act of crime across the street.

Izuku rises from his chair, something in his bones willing him to act- willing him to do something. Legally he knows he can't. But after hours of talking with Corvan, with Uraraka, it feels like even he- someone so terrible and cruel- has a duty to do something to stop it.

He had been given power after all.

It was his choice what he did with it.

"Now?" Izuku suggests, taking a step forward.

The concrete falls out from under him, and it's a tumble into darkness as he falls through his shadow, passing through something thick and inky before being spat back onto the concrete in front of Corvan.

"Ah ah ah," Corvan childes softly, his gaze unwavering from the robbery. "You're not licensed." But there's a crooked smile on his lips and one of his irises has turned red.

"We're going to let it happen?" Izuku demands, surging to his feet and planting them firmly on the ground.

Corvan cocks an eyebrow at him, something swimming through his mismatched eyes before he responds with. "Why wouldn't you?" It's a challenge- something designed to get a rise out of Izuku in exactly the right manner he wants.

Izuku has started to discover that sometimes therapy is just as much manipulating the chosen words- or forcing specific phrases- as it is identifying them and working through them.

"Someone needs to stop him."

"A Hero needs to stop him," Corvan counters.

Izuku turns, gritting his teeth as he looks back to the mugger- who ducks into an alleyway. He fumbles for a name, rushing through his mind. Who swung across the intersection a moment ago? Tape tape tape…

But there's no time. The perp was already getting away.

"Please," Izuku finds himself saying. A phrase that no one in the League would have listened to. A word that fell on deaf ears when Toga got a new knife, and a sob that Dabi would always laugh at as he heated his palm up once more. "Stop him." And there's an unspoken- or I will- attached to that neither of them needs to hear.

Corvan reaches across the table, picking up a fork and twirling it through his fingers. He meets his gaze for a moment, and then he slams the fork down.

It's a small thing.

The shadow cast by his hand onto the wooden table.

But the fork disappears through it, as down a portion of Corvan's hand.

Izuku whips his head around to check, sees the robber suddenly jerk and stagger, clutching his thigh. At the same time, Cellophane whips back around the corner.

Corvan pulls the fork out of the shadow- the prongs tinted with red- before he wipes it off on his napkin. "Tell me," he says as he sets the fork back down, "if I wasn't here- would you have stopped that mugger?"

Izuku can see Cellophane wrapping him up, thick ribbons of tape coiling around the man before he drops to the ground in a heap. A dozen people in the crowd stop to take pictures, more stop for autographs or a selfie. But Izuku stares at the Hero, watching the man bypass the coverage as he pulls the purse out, holding it up and searching the crowd.

It's a small thing. But it's a meaningful one as he wades through it, helmet visor pushed back as he finally seems to have found the woman it belongs to. He gives it back to her by hand, and even across the street Izuku can see the smile the woman gives him.

"Everyone deserves a Hero," Izuku repeats, because it's easier to say that then what he means.

Unfortunately Corvan has adjusted to his semantics, figured out his ways and blown through his coping mechanisms.

"Then it sounds like you need to start training to be one."

Izuku freezes, frowning as he looks back at his therapist that- given he just stabbed someone through a shadow, his eyes and tone sometimes change color, and Izuku's 90% sure the man can jump to anywhere he wants- is looking more and more like a soldier than a doctor.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean it sounds like you have some training to do if you're going to be a Hero," Corvan says without sarcasm or disdain. He says it calmly, like he's informing him he's going to lower the dosage on his anxiety medication or have him fill out another questionnaire for his emotional state or psychosocial condition.

Izuku blinks.

"Did you- How can- you're not- but-" Izuku fumbles to a stop before coming to a conclusion he should have reached long ago. "You're not a regular therapist, are you?"

Corvan chuckles and winks at him instead of giving him a real answer. "I didn't say I was a regular therapist, now did I? I specialize in interesting cases, rehabilitation and Quirk-resolution therapy."

Quirk-resolution therapy is a phrase he's only just discovered, but it's an interesting one nonetheless. It was for Quirks like Dabi's, or even Toga's where either the Quirk didn't agree with the person, or the person had a hard time controlling the Quirk. Izuku hadn't heard of a therapist that specialized in it, but then again…

"How…"

"Just trust me, Izuku," Corvan says, stretching his limbs as he finally rises from the table. "I am many things," and he gives him a look that lasts longer than it should. And it takes him a moment to realize that it's a dramatic pause because the red in Corvan's eye has split. No longer one singular pupil but a dozen all housed and crammed in- blocking out the sclera. "But I am a therapist first above all these." The red eyes dancing through Corvan's left pupil suddenly slam all back together, the color draining out before returning to it's steely gray.

"What the-"

Corvan chuckles as he brings out his wallet. "I'll show you what that means another time. How about we wrap up for today, and meet me at the office early Thursday morning to start training. We can discuss it then."

It answers none of his questions and instead only raises more- but it's- well. It's everything at once and Izuku has no idea where to even start with it. For one- his therapist could definitely kill someone with that Quirk way too easily. Second, he's training to be a Hero? What? Since? But?

"I need to call my mom," Izuku reasons out loud.

"Already knows," Corvan replies as he finally pulls a handful of bills out of his wallet and sets it on the table. "You, my friend, have a lot of eyes on you." He pauses again, before looking up.

The intensity of the moment is lost though, because Corvan's smile turns into something soft and amused as he closes up his wallet and waves at someone behind Izuku.

Izuku has a feeling who it is, because Corvan gives him a look and he just knows. It's humiliating how fast the blood rushes to his cheeks with the thought.

But he turns all the same, forcing a shaky smile to his lips as he finds the woman Corvan had only just told him might serve as his compass. As someone steadfast and strong that he could… not follow… but help reconstruct his compromised morals with.

"Heyya there, Izuku," his space princess says, her smile dazzling as she steps through the table. "Dr. Velvatear texted me earlier that I could pick you up here?" She looks at the man, "Is he free?"

"All yours," Corvan replies, and the heat on Izuku's cheeks burns all the more with those two words.

Damn it.

All too much, all too fast.

"I'm walking you home right?" Uraraka says, jerking her head back towards the sidewalk.

"Uh- yeah- right," Izuku stumbles over his words- as he often finds himself doing now- as the anti-gravity Hero that saved him picks him up from therapy.

"Well- let's go. Ryukyu is starting to figure out I'm using patrol time for this and boy is she not happy about it." But Uraraka flashes a grin at him that makes his heart squeeze and ache in ways he can't describe.

"Right!" She takes the lead, and he follows beside her, a half pace behind as they go down the sidewalk.

In the back of his head he reruns the conversation he had with Corvan about this particular woman. How she was already something of a guiding light to him, a tentative friendship that has somehow forged itself into a… a compass to help him get back to what he was… hoping… to be.

A Hero.

Izuku hums at the thought, content with leaving it there at least for the moment as Uraraka breaks into his internal monologue. A story about something her and Froppy did at UA, something that gets his laughter peeling out of his lips and a smile back on his face.

She laughs and smiles with him. Her eyes full of stars as they weave down the street. He wonders if she knows it. That she's someone he wants to keep around. If she knows just how much he's trying to be a good person for her- and his mom- because he knows he really isn't. He knows he's a monster. The only difference is instead of being caged up and controlled, she set him free. She was his light at the end of the tunnel.

He swallows, "U-Uraraka-san." He breaks into her story suddenly, but she freezes and let's him speak all the same. "Do… do you think I could… I could maybe…" He trails off and shakes his head.

It's a stupid thought and one that is fueled by the strange comments of Corvan and derived off his childhood dream. He knows it's stupid. There is no chance for him to be one.

"What is it?" She doesn't sound impatient or annoyed. Something Mr. Compress always was when he suggested something.

She isn't angry like Dabi or Toga either. She folds her hands behind her back, cocking her head to the side to consider him. They even stop in their walk back to his apartment.

"I… no… it's stupid. Really."

She shakes her head, and he wonders if she knows that doing that makes her eyes look like they're filled with shooting stars and streaking comets. "If you have a question, please ask it."

"It's… it's dumb though," Izuku mutters. He can't say it. It would hurt too much to hear her say no. But it would be what he deserved, and just a reminder of the truth spoken to him over and over again by Shigiraki and the others.

She frowns at that, pursing her lips. A single step takes her into his personal bubble, her hands coming around as she raises one up.

"OW!" He whines when she flicks him in the forehead. "What was that for?"

"Being dumb," she informs him with a smile. She dances back a step, "Just ask the question, Izuku! I'm your friend. You don't need to be scared."

Friend.

He stares at her for a moment, mind whirling as his thoughts focus and reconfiguration on that word.

Friend.

She was his friend.

And…

"Do…"

How many crimes has he committed?

"Do you… think…"

How many people has he hurt on her watch?

"That maybe I could…"

How many times has he hurt her? He broke her ribs. He dropped a building on top of her. And that didn't even include what he did to some of her friends.

The words catch in his throat. She smiles at him again.

Like she'd wait there forever. Like she already knows the question and has the answer he's been hoping to hear from anyone other than his mother (his sweet kind loving mother who would never tell him no).

"Do you think I can be a Hero?"

She doesn't hesitate. There is no shock or look of horror. There is no disgust in her expression. She just nods her head. "Of course!" Like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "And I'll be here to help you get there!"

Izuku thinks that it starts raining. Droplets of water pinging off his shirt and splattering on his shoes and the concrete between them. But when one finally hits his wrists he finds that it's warm instead of cold.

That thought connects and it makes his knees buckle. The denim of his jeans dulls the bite of concrete, but that flash of pain does not quell the tears spilling from his eyes. The palms of his hands do not either, even as he mashes them into the sockets and tries to stuff the tears back where they were.

There's a soft cooing and a gentle touch on his shoulder, but still it feels like it's impossible for him to stop. The tears turn into sobs and they wreak his body even as Uraraka's hands run smooth over his back and around his shoulders.

"I believe in you," she assures him, and he wants her to know that it means more than he can express in words.