"Subaru." Emilia was so happy. Subaru returned and the first thing they did was go in a "deeto" in the capital. They walked through the market, bought a few apples from Kadomon, visited the loot house in the slums… The sun was setting, so they went to a high place to observe it before going home. It was one of Subaru's ideas, and she accepted immediately.
"Yes, Emilia-tan?" At the mention of his name, Subaru perked up and looked at the girl in his right.
"Subaru. Every day I've waited for you to return. You make me soooo happy when you're near. I love you Subaru." She blushed. She finally said it! The words she wanted to tell him so much.
"Emilia-tan…" Hearing those words, Subaru was dumbfounded for a short moment. He recovered quickly and, looking at her straight in the eye, he said with a smile: "I love you too, Emilia."
Both youngs were blushing so much you could have mistaken both for walking tomatoes. As the sun was finally setting, both approached the other. Subaru hugged her, and moved his lips to hers…
Emilia woke up, flushed and with the sheets all over the bed. She usually had trouble waking up, but that dream…
"Subaru…" Touching her lips, she whispered his name. She missed him so much. She worried endlessly those past five months and, at the same time, wondered what they would do once they were together again. She finally was sure of her feelings. It wasn't the sisterly love Garfiel and Frederica had. Or the friendship between Petra and Meili. Or the relationship Julius and Anastasia had. Or even the familiar love between her and Fortuna or Puck. It was a different type of love. She still wasn't sure but it was but… she loved Subaru. She was certain of it.
She had been so close to telling Subaru how much she loved him, but he disappeared. However, he was coming back. Yesterday, Ram told everyone at breakfast that, for the past few days, she could feel Rem closer and closer. She said nothing about Subaru, but Beatrice was sure he was returning too. "My contractor would never leave the sleeping maid alone, I suppose." she said, before bursting into tears, repeating how much she failed him and how she was a worthless spirit over and over.
That same night he asked Ram and Frederica how to tell Subaru how much she loved him. Ram suggested meeting at night in her room, dressed in her nightgown, and that Barusu would know what to do. Instead, Frederica told her to go in a "deeto" with him and say the words at the end.
After that, she had trouble falling asleep. She kept thinking about what to do and when she finally fell asleep, she had that dumb dream. Remembering what had happened, she blushed again and with a surge of confidence, she left the bed and started dressing for the day. She had a "deeto" to plan, after all.
Not long after dressing up, Ram knocked on the door. She said that breakfast was ready and that a new Royal Selection meeting had been scheduled 10 days from today. Just as she was going to ask about Subaru, someone tugged at her dress. Looking behind her, she saw a small blonde child, dressed with a simple cloth and with a smile that showed teeth that reminded her of Frederica.
"Huh? Who…" Before she could finish, she heard Ram running away. "Ram!?" Not sure what to do, she grabbed the child, who did not refuse, and ran behind her. Turning a corner she saw her outside of Rem's room. "What was she doing here? Louis slept with me last night…" she thought.
Neither oni knew how to react. The blue oni was on the floor, sitting with her legs crossed up, her hands trembling. She was confused, that woman said a few words and now she was in a different place. She didn't have time to think about it or even explore the room, as the door burst open and someone stared at her. She was ready to use her morningstar but stopped when she saw who was watching her. She looked just like her, but with pink hair instead of blue.
It had to be her. But that was impossible. The mansion was a few days away. And a few words from that woman sent her here? That was impossible! As her twin did nothing but stare at her, she decided to take the first step. She gulped and said:
"H-Hi, uh, sister. You might not remember me, and I don't remember you, but Subaru has to-"
"What are you doing here, Rem? Go back to the dining room. Breakfast is ready."
"Huh?" Dumbfounded, Rem just stared at her sister. "What did she just say?"
"Didn't you hear me, Rem? Breakfast is ready. Pick up Louis and go to the dining room."
"Huh? But, sister, why… why aren't you happy? Why…"
"Ram-san? Why did you run away? Ah, Rem-san, were you searching for Louis? She sneaked into my bed tonight. Geez, that's the fourth time this month." Emilia appeared from the corner of the hallway carrying the blond girl in her arms.
"Mama!" Seeing Rem, Louis jumped from Emilia's arms straight into Rem's. She caught her without problem, she was used to it after all. Both faces were full of confusion. Why were they acting like that? Judging by what Subaru told her, her sister should be hugging and telling her how happy she is she's awake, even if she has no memories. And the silver-haired half-elf, she must be Emilia. Why was Louis with her? What was happening?
"Mama...sister… not happy?" Pointing at Ram, Louis repeated what Rem just said.
"Not happy? Of course I'm happy. My wonderful sister is here and that disgusting man is not here to taint her. He must be cheating on Emilia-sama now that she-"
A loud sound echoed through the room. A gasp was heard from Emilia's now covered mouth. Ram's right cheek was red, her eyes slightly wet and looking at her sister.
"Don't say that Subaru! You… you don't know all he did to make sure I was safe! And why are you acting like that!"
Touching her cheek, Ram couldn't stop thinking "Why?". Why did her sister slap her? She made fun of Subaru but she knew she didn't mean to hurt. It was just a way to cope with her absence, and Rem knew it. She would never admit it, of course, but she missed the boy. His antics breathed life into the mansion, a life it desperately needed. And what did she mean by "acting like that"?
"Rem… What do you mean? As Ram was still confused, Emilia was the one to ask.
"As if I've been here! I've wanted to meet you for so long and this is how you act!?"
Louis left Rem's arms. She was getting heated up, and she perfectly knew what happened when she got like that. She didn't want to be nearby but also wanted to be with her in such a confusing situation, so she jumped into the bed. Or tried, at least. She was too strong to free herself from her grip.
"So long? I-I don't get what you're talking about Rem-san. You woke up five months ago and have been here since then."
"Huh?" Confusion clearly displayed in her face, Rem wondered what she meant by that. Here since then? She had been in Vollachia since she woke up! "That can't be! I've been with Subaru since I woke up!"
"With Barusu? Rem, did you hurt your head?" Ignoring the questions in her head, Ram questioned her. She wanted to know why she was acting like this. She had been cautious at first, not remembering even her own name. But she had grown since then. Her attitude right now made no sense to her. However, as much as she wanted to know, clearing her misunderstanding was more important right now.
"Th' hell is my amazin' self ding' here!?"
"Garfiel!?" That way of speaking was unique. There was no way she would confuse him with anyone else. "He's here too?"
" I reeeally don't get what you're saying, Rem-san. You and Garfiel are good friends, so why…"
"Emilia-sama. We should fix this misunderstanding at breakfast. It will be cold by the time we arrive if we lose more time here."
With those words said, everyone went to the dining room.
The ambient in the room was tense, to say the least. What was supposed to be a regular breakfast was quickly turned into an interrogation session. To one side, Rem and Garfiel were acting weird, talking about things that never happened. The other side was confused, everyone else was acting as if they had been there instead of in another country.
"THIS MAKES NO SENSE, I HAVEN'T BEEN HERE FER THREE MONTHS!" Garfiel couldn't keep his head cool anymore. He left three months ago to rescue his Cap'n, so why were they acting like he didn't? Or as if Rem and Louis had been there ever since they came back from the tower?
"Calm down Garfiel. This might be an illusion made by that woman." At this point, Rem was tired of repeating the same over and over. They thought they had been here for five months, and even heard the rumors about the mysterious Pleiades, Vincent's strategist. However, they hadn't heard anything about Gorgeous Tiger, the brave warrior who fought at his side. She was thankful for Subaru's decision to not let her fight unless necessary, she didn't want to have such a pitiful name. Being named "Blue Crusher"... The vollachian soldiers sucked at naming people. A fact she learned the hard way. She had been quick to… silence them.
"The only one who could make such a powerful illusion is long dead, in fact." Mother was the only one skilled in magic to be able to make an illusion like this. So, what was happening then?
"Your memories muuuuust have been tampered with." With his usual creepy smile, Roswaal told everyone his thoughts. Memory manipulation was an extremely rare ability. Gluttony possessed it, but it couldn't have been them, no one had been eaten and it was impossible for someone to be eaten anyways, Ley was dead and Roy was jailed. The Divine Protection of Mind Changing might be the cause, but to his knowledge no one possessed it right now, or in the following years. His own Divine Protection never told him about someone with such a powerful ability.
"Memory manipulation?" Emilia had a bad feeling. She was not sure of it, but she felt like she was involved in some way. "Who did that woman look like, Rem-san?"
"Emilia-sama." Calling her Emilia-sama felt wrong. Serving her? Someone who looked like the witch the cult adored, the same cult she used to hate? While true, it was hard for her to believe that. The differences between her past self and new self grew bigger every day. No wonder he sometimes looked so sad when peeking at her. "She was a short woman with platinum hair."
"Was she dressed with a cloth?" She ignored Rem calling her Emilia-sama. Knowing the truth was far important.
"Yes. Why do you ask, Emilia-sama"? Tilting her head, Rem wondered if the half-elf knew that woman. Her question was quickly answered by the ice that suddenly extended throughout the entire room, threatening to freeze everyone present. "EMILIA!" She didn't add the "sama", as she quickly approached the half-elf and took her out of her trance.
"Uh?" Looking around the room, Emilia saw the repercussions of her short outburst. The table was covered by a fine cape of ice, and the food leftovers had been frozen. Ram was quivering in the spot, while Beatrice and Roswaal remained still, apparently unfazed by the cold. Garfiel and Frederica, however, were surprised by Emilia's "accident". Frederica because she never expected Emilia to express such a massive degree of hate, and Garfiel was amazed by her power. "I'm sorry!"
"I take it you know who that woman was, I suppose."
"I wooooonder who she might be for Emilia-sama to hate her."
"Pandora." Emilia revealed her name. Beatrice and Roswaal froze in place, while the others didn't react at all.
"Impossible I suppose! She already died! Mother told us!" Beatrice pointed at Emilia, shaken by the revelation, her voice slightly cracking.
"That woman shouldn't exist anymore." Said Roswaal without his creepy accent, gazing at Emilia.
"She changed my memories of Elior Forest. Thanks to her, I wasn't able to finish the trials until Puck left me…"
"I don't understand what you're talking about. But that woman changed my sister's memories, right?"
"Or it could be us." Added Frederica.
"It's ya! We've been telling ya!"
"Can she really change people's memories? Our memories look real..." Rem pondered if that woman truly had the power to change all of her memories and make her experience five fake months without anyone realizing.
"But ours do too, Rem. We do our chores around the mansion every day, then you teach Petra how to cook…" A shame neither Petra, Meili, or Otto were here. The three of them went to Arlam Village, Petra took a small vacation to see her parents and Meili accompanied her. Otto had business to do in the capital, so he took the opportunity and went with the two small girls.
"But what chores do we do, sissy? And what dishes have I taught Petra?"
"We… we… I… I can't recall."
"And Petra-chan has only done the few dishes I taught her…"
"So it's our memories which have been tampered with, not Rem or Garfiel. How disgusting." Roswaal clicked his tongue at the thought of Pandora being alive and having tampered with his memories. Could she have toyed with him, too? Was his goal impossible from the start, and had he been playing in her hand all along? Those thoughts plagued his mind, horrifying him. But, even if all he did had been planned by that woman, he must keep going. His sins were too great to ever atone for them, so he had no other option but to keep going. The metal of his pendant felt colder than ever.
"Told ya!" Shouted Garfiel, earning a punch from her sister.
"Don't shout like that Garf!"
"Then, Rem-san, you reaaally were with Subaru?"
"Yes, E-Emilia-sama." Said Rem, slightly scared by the cold look in her eyes.
"Did you do anything with my Subaru?" Inquired Emilia with cold eyes. Subaru had told her that Rem loved him before falling to Gluttony. Now that she was awake, she had to make sure her Subaru was hers and only hers. She was finally sure of her feelings, she won't allow anyone to steal him from her now! After all, Subaru was a wonderful person, so she might have fallen for him again.
"Your Subaru?" Replied Rem, her voice slightly cracking, rage starting to boil inside her. At the sight of Rem slowly walking towards Emilia, Garfiel did the only correct choice: Grabbing Louis and attempting to leave the room. He only saw her like this once, but it scarred him for life. However, his poor attempt at escaping was frustrated by Frederica. Finally, in front of Emilia, Rem continued: "Do you think you're worthy of him!? You, who spent an entire year thinking of an answer!? He's done so much for you, so why can't you do the same?"
Hearing Rem's words Emilia was left speechless. She hadn't expected her to explode like that.
"Rem. What happened with Ba-"
"Not now sissy." Rem cut her twin short. Noticing the rage behind her eyes and how she wouldn't budge down from this, she left the two of them to discuss. And so did everyone else.
"Not worthy? What do you know about Subaru!?" She started quietly, not louder than a whisper, just to steadily increase in volume until she was shouting at the blue-haired girl in front of her.
"More than you! I know how much he tried to protect me, who did nothing but hurt him from the very start, and Louis, who he hated so much! How hard he fought to help someone he didn't care about in a stupid campaign for a stupid throne of a stupid country! All of that just to be with you again, a woman who doesn't even know how she feels!"
"I know how I feel! I love him!"
"You don't! If you truly did, why didn't you do anything!? He's been waiting so long for an answer!"
"I was going to answer him!"
"Then do it! Maybe then he'll be happy and stop hurting himself." At Rem's words, Beatrice perked a little. "So she knows." she thought. "It's been so long, it'll be weird if she didn't, I suppose."
"Huh? Hurting himself?"
"So you don't even know!? About all the nightmares he has at night? About how he can't sleep if no one is holding his hand!?" She started shouting louder. "About all the scratches I heal at night, just to appear again a few days later!? About his low self-esteem, that makes him risk his life in each of his dangerous plans!?" A few tears started running down her cheeks. "How can you wish to be queen if you don't even know about how your knight's suffering?" Rem couldn't stand seeing the man who helped her so much despite the pain she inflicted on him, the man who told her everything about her forgotten family, being treated as property by someone who didn't answer his feelings.
"I…" Averting her eyes from the wrathful blue-haired girl, Emilia couldn't stop thinking about that revelation. Subaru hurts himself? Nightmares? She had no idea about that… Puck told her that she shouldn't interact with those who do that, but Subaru was a good person. Was Puck wrong? And what made Subaru do… that? Was it her? Or all the horrors he experienced for her?
"He shouldn't have met you. He would be happier that way." Moving away from the half-elf, who just started sobbing at her incompetence as a friend, lover, queen, and anything, Rem was met with a purple crystal in front of her face.
"That's enough, I suppose. You spill Betty's Subaru's secret and now you dare to say that he shouldn't have met the half-elf, in fact. Then Betty would have never met her contractor, I suppose."
"I-I'm sorry, Great Spirit-sama." Rem had seen enough powerful persons to instantly recognize the aura of danger surrounding the little girl. Surrender or die was the feeling she got from the spirit.
"Don't mention that ever again, I suppose. Look at what you've made." Looking around, Rem saw the repercussions of her wrathful outburst. Garfiel had erupted into tears in her sister's chest: the revelation of his Cap'n suffering so much and not noticing despite being at his side was too much for him. Ram had a complicated expression on her face, she often belittled the boy and the revelation of his self-harm made her wish to go to the past and prevent herself from doing so. Perhaps her constant insults, even if she never meant any of them, made his self-esteem low enough for him to do that.
Louis, finally free from Garfiel's ironclad grab, extended her arms towards Rem. Recognizing the action, she grabbed the child and pulled it towards her chest, like she was used to.
Roswaal seemed unfazed by what happened, but his thoughts were another thing. "I must keep going on. Even if my goal was futile from the start and I've done nothing but pain to others, I must keep on. It's too late to be forgiven." As much as he wanted to force the man to reset, it was pointless without the young here. Speaking of which, where was he?
"Beatrice… Did you know?" Emilia asked the spirit while sobbing. Looking down, tears leaking off her eyes, she answered.
"Betty… Betty knew, I suppose."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Betty's Subaru doesn't want to, I suppose! Every night he has nightmares and Betty doesn't know why!" She started crying. "Betty found about the scratching and called him for it, but he kept begging Betty to let him keep hurting himself! Begging for the nightmares to stop, in fact!" Her eyes were tearing so much they looked like waterfalls. "Betty wants to help her contractor, but Betty doesn't know how! Every week Betty heals the scars on his arms, but they're there again the next day!"
"Beatrice…" Emilia pulled the spirit into a hug, and both kept shedding tears for the one they cherished. They were like this for a few minutes, until Roswaal intervened.
"We'll keep taaaaalking about this later. We have duties to attend to, after aaaaaaall." I need to think about my next actions were his thoughts while saying that. He never expected anyone to do anything, that revelation shook even him. That disgusting woman... Teacher made sure that Beatrice and the first Roswaal knew about how dangerous she could be, but all of them relaxed after rumors of her death.
They were too disturbed to refute the lord of the mansion. Everyone left to do their duties: Studying, training, or chores. Rem was unsure of what to do until Ram called out to her.
"We need to talk, Rem." She said while eyeing the blond child in her sister's arms.
After saying that, the three of them left the dining room and walked towards Ram's room, roaming the hallways in silence, except for Louis's guttural noises.
"What do you want, sissy? And shouldn't you be working?"
"Frederica will understand. I'm finally with my sister again, so…" Sensing impending danger, Louis obeyed her infantile instincts and jumped onto the bed. Before Rem could react, Ram hugged her, her eyes slightly wet.
"I'm sorry Rem… I forgot about you, my sister…" Both twins hugged the other for a long minute. When they separated, Ram continued: "I always blamed Barusu, that man of good timing."
"He truly has good timing when it matters, doesn't he?" Rem chuckled a bit.
"Good timing for everything. For getting Emilia's insignia. For the mabeast invasion. The White Whale and Sloth's attack. On Sanctuary. Priestella. The Pleiades Watchtower. But for all his good timing he never got in time to save you. I always blamed him for that. But after observing him next to you, every night, talking to you and wishing for you wake up, seeing how much your stated troubled him, I… I couldn't. He cared about you as much as I did."
Rem just stared at her sister, her jaw slightly open.
"I always hated the cult for destroying our home. But after Gluttony erased you, I wanted nothing else but to see his mutilated corpse. And I did. I killed him, Rem. But your memories and name never returned.
"Garfiel was surprised to see me awake…"
"So we never knew you woke up. How disgusting. Erasing you from everyone's memories and not even returning your name when dying. And now whoever that woman was changed our memories."
"I was so excited to meet you, sissy. But, when I did, you…"
"Don't say it Rem. That never happened, got it? Let's start again as sisters, shall we?"
"Yes, sissy!" Both sisters smiled and hugged a second time. Louis was lying in the bed, with a wide smile, as if watching the two sisters reunite again was her only objective in life.
"So, who is she? All I remember about her is that she appeared at the tower at the same time you woke up, but that's fake." Said Ram, referring to the sleeping girl in Rem's lap. The two of them had been talking about trivial stuff for an hour, and at some point Louis fell asleep with a smile in her face. "What a disgusting ability."
"I… I don't know." Evading her gaze, Rem lied to her sister for the first time.
"Rem, remember how I was teaching you how to properly use synesthesia just a moment? I can tell you're lying through it."
"Huh? You can?"
"Sorry, that was a lie. I can't. So, who is she?" Cleverly tricking her sister, she asked again for the child's identity. The way she looked away was too suspicious.
"Subaru said you would be angry if you knew, so I can't tell you."
"I won't get angry at a child."
"Forgive me for this, Subaru." With a sigh, she continued. "The third Archbishop of Gluttony."
"..." Rem expected murderous fury when her sister learned of Louis's true identity. She was not expecting her to freeze in the spot. Panicking, she continued:
"B-But she's not evil! She's a good child, eats her vegetables, goes to bed when asked to and-"
"Rem. I trust Barusu has made the right choice forgiving all her evil deeds." Walking towards the door, she stopped midway and turned back to add. "But make no mistake. She might act like a child, but if she ever returns to how she was, I'll make sure to make her pay." She opened the door. The conversation was over and she had work to do, there was a limit to how much Frederica could do alone. If Petra was here then she could slack, I mean talk to her sister for longer. In truth, she just wanted some time to think alone. However, she was interrupted.
"She's not acting. And he hasn't forgiven her. Sissy, when I woke up and had no idea who or where I was, the only ones near me were Subaru and Louis. I… almost choked him to death." Ram raised a brow to that. "She smelled like evil and wanted to leave a child behind… If I knew the truth I wouldn't have done that. Even then, he tried to protect me, but his hate for Louis never disappeared."
"Then, why did he stand her? Just for you?"
"When… when he told me all about her, I wanted to kill her. The man that had saved me despite I trying to kill him minutes after waking up, who was forced to help to conquer a country just to return home, had suffered so much due to her. And I had been protecting her all the time… But he stopped me."
"He? Just-"
"He said there was hope, sissy. That there was a slim chance for my memories to be inside her. But I'm scared." She moved Louis away from her lap and started trembling, her eyes slightly watering. "If the old me comes back, what will happen to me? Will I disappear? I-I don't want to."
Leaving the door wide open, Ram rushed to her sister's side to comfort her. Sitting at her left and pulling her into a tight hug, she patted the back of her head. She wanted to whisper sweet words but had no idea what to say.
"And why is everything so confusing? I was forced to fight in a stupid war to return to a home I didn't remember, to a family that I hadn't met, to a sister that doesn't even remember me. I betrayed the only one who cared about me, the only one who knew who I was. Why does he still love me sissy? Or does he only love the old me? Does he hate me for not being like the one she remembers?"
"You know that's not true, Rem."
"But what if it is? I called him Subaru-kun once and he looked so hurt at that… He asked me not to call him like that, and had nightmares that night no matter what I did… The next day he told that's what I used to call him… We've talked so much, yet I can't understand the old me!" She started talking louder and louder. Hearing her tone increasing, Ram closed the door with a wind spell. The others would likely hear it anyways, but it might help. "What did he do to make me fall in love!? What did I do for him to cherish me so much!? Why did he help me after all I did to him!? The first thing I did was trying to kill him! I acted like I hated him and sent him to prison, yet he escaped and kidnapped me, which just brought more trouble to him, and all he said was that whatever you would do to him if he even dared to think of abandoning me would be far worse than anything Priscilla could do to him.
"So Barusu-like. Kidnapping someone for his own benefit, how shameful." Despite the harsh words directed at the young, all that Rem could hear was admiration for the boy's actions.
Rem chuckled a bit and followed:
"See? Always acting so reckless, does he enjoy being at death's door?"
"When Barusu first came to the mansion, he had the excellent idea of taking an almost lethal blow for Emilia-sama. In the mabeast attack he rushed head on to save the kids. In Sanctuary he planned a way to save you and the maids from an assassin attack, which somehow ended with him walking around inside a burning mansion. How disgusting, can't even keep his masochist tendencies hidden." Both laughed at Subaru's true nature being revealed.
"Rem. Do you… love him?" She stopped midway through, unsure if she should talk about it.
"I'm not sure. Every time he looks at me, I get the sensation he's looking at the past me. And I'm not sure of my feelings. Do I even have a chance to get his heart?
"You already have it. Why else would go to such lengths for you? But keep in mind, you won't win in the end. You'll always be second to Emilia-sama. I think you should move on and-"
"He said that anyone but you is allowed to give romantic advice. I don't get why, though."
"He'll only eat leftovers until he apologizes." She wished for him to be here, but now she wanted to kick his ass for that comment. Roswaal was an excellent man when not enthralled by a witch. And someone who loves a silver-haired half-elf shouldn't be allowed to give romantic advice as well. "I've warned you. That man defeated a Great Mabeast and an Archbishop of the Witch Cult just to see Emilia again. Now follow me Rem."
"Where are we going?" As they left the room, they turned left and entered a nearby room, with no trace of dust, as if it had been cleaned every single day extensively.
"Is this…?"
"Yes, Rem. This is your room. The closet is filled with clothes, so dress yourself up and get to work. As the head maid of Roswaal-sama's domains, I demand nothing short of perfection." She left the room, heading towards Roswaal's office, but turned back to add: "Unless you want to eat steamed tatoes, you should start cooking something, Rem." And then she left, leaving her sister to think about all the events that recently occurred. She needed it, too.
AN: Part 1 of Chapter 4. It kept getting longer and longer, this is 5k words and I'm somewhere between 1/2 and 3/4 done of what I had planned, so I decided to upload this. Funny note, I forgot about Otto until I was nearly done, so I add to go back and add a reason for him not to be here. But do not fear, he'll appear. One day. If I stop forgetting about him. I like him, okay!?