Silent Afflictions

Breaking into Silence

Rose went to her room, shutting the door quietly behind her, leaning against the solid surface as she shut her eyes, fighting her emotions back once more; she needed a distraction.

Looking around, she found her room in a brilliant mess and felt her lips twitch, threatening a smirk at the work she had to do, focusing completely on making everything completely straight and tidy, almost to an OCD level as she tried to make the most work out of what she had.

After a while though, she lay back on the now clear and made bed, looking up to the ceiling, her emotions still running wild and she had done all the work she could possibly do on both her bed room and the little bathroom, having moved on to it once her room was done.

Trying to block out the thoughts that were circling her mind, only getting darker as time went by, she felt her fingers twitch slightly; she was desperate for a cigarette. No, she thought fiercely, she wasn't going to let one bad day ruin all the hard work she'd put into quitting.

All she needed was a damned good distraction…

Less than a minute later she growled out a groan, pushing herself off her bed to pace across her room, back and forth like a caged animal as her eyes darted around for something to do. She was too agitated to keep still so drawing was out, she didn't want to listen to her music. Her conclusion brought her to a pause as she glared slightly at the thoughts before grinding her teeth, continuing her pacing again.

She needed a case - and she really did sound like Sherlock.

Unfortunately, as they'd just finished a big case - that involved a fair bit of travel as well - they wouldn't take on another one until tomorrow at least. So, for now, she was stuck. And she didn't like it.

Sighing heavily, she cast her mind about, trying to think about what needed doing around the flat. They had food so she didn't need to go shopping, but the thought of leaving the flat for a little while caught her interest. Grabbing an old worn hoodie, she decided she'd just go for a walk instead.

Slipping the old material over her shirt, she was reminded of the walks she used to take back in Wales under very similar circumstances; when she was upset or agitated, desperate for a cigarette and needed to blow off a little steam. Old habits are hard to break, I guess, she thought.

She picked up her phone, knowing she should take it, but right now, she didn't want to talk to anyone. She'd be back sooner rather than later, nothing too horrendous would happen in that time, she was sure of it - mostly sure, anyway. Tossing the small devise onto her bed, she pulled out a few notes from her purse and slipped them in her pocket, just in case she needed them.

Heading for the door, she zipped up the baggy material as she hung her head in thought.

Letting her feet guide her where ever they fancied going, only paying enough attention to not walk into anyone, Rose thought about the argument, knowing she needed to work through it before going back to the flat.

She still didn't know why they were there. A part of her wanted to say that her parents just wanted to stir trouble, but she didn't really believe that. Maybe they really did want her to go back to Wales, maybe they could have gotten along again and everything could have been alright. She knew it wasn't like that though, just a naive childlike hope that they could have been a normal, happy family; either way it wasn't going to happen now, she'd made sure of that.

As she turned over the thoughts of her screw ups, she barely noticed as the skies opened up, dark clouds hanging over London as a cold rain fell onto the sad and broken young woman.

Rose wondered what her brothers would say when they found out about her latest argument. Would they be proud that she'd stood up for herself... or disappointed and ashamed that she'd behaved in such a manner? Everyone else seemed disappointed in her after all; she couldn't do anything right when it came to her family she felt, ducking her head against the rain, trying to tell herself that it wasn't because she was fighting back the tears that threatened to join the drops of rain that fell across her face.

It wasn't long though before they spilled over, salt water mixing with the cold rain. Anyone who walked past didn't notice, too busy trying to get under cover to notice the red rimming her eyes, the way she shook slightly that had nothing to do with being cold.

She hugged her arms around herself as she had done so many times, trying to calm herself down before she made a complete fool of herself. Turning a corner, she slipped into a deserted alleyway, the rain coming down harder as she lent against a wall, the shadows keeping her hidden from the odd car that drove past.

All she ever wanted to do was make her parents proud, she just wanted to make them happy, but nothing she ever did was good enough; she had always been a disappointment.

They wouldn't want to patch things up, not now. And she knew they were too stubborn to listen to her even if she tried. No, it would be years until they spoke again in any manner.

She frowned slightly, blinking the tears from her eyes; did she even want to fix things? Her parents hadn't changed a bit, always interfering, but…

She remembered the look her mother had given her; like they were equals again.

She'd missed that more than anything. Before everything kicked off at home so very many years ago, Rose had been very close to her mother. But over the years, as the girl grew into a young woman, her ideas and thoughts were dismissed as childish too many times, so she just stopped sharing her life with her parents. Her mother had insisted something was wrong, but instead of letting Rose speak in her own time, she assumed and guessed, trying to figure it out.

It had only pushed the young woman away even more until Rose was sure her mother wouldn't even recognise the person she was today.

Rose wondered what would happen if her mother got to know who she was now; would she still be disappointed?

Probably, she thought, she was so stubborn. Rose's mother, while very smart, sometimes just couldn't see what was staring her in the face, even when it was her own daughter.

She held back a slight sob at the path her thoughts were taking as she brought her hand over her mouth, as though she could physically hold them in. They're right… I am a disappointment. A runaway living with two older men with no plan for the rest of her life; who could be proud of that? At the end of the day, she was nothing special; just another commoner, used to being rough and crass. She didn't even have that many friends; Ethel, a few friends from Wales, maybe Lestrade, and then her flatmates.

Even then she barely spoke to anyone anymore, and not about anything seriously personal. The worst part was that Rose didn't really mind so much. Even with the worst days on the job and not talking about it with anyone, she didn't mind at all.

Her mother was right about that too; she had become so cold. Rose frowned, tears having stopped for now, though the rain poured heavier still, soaking through her hoodie. She tried to pin down when she'd become so cut off from everyone else and couldn't even remember when it was different.

Suddenly the entire alleyway flashed brightly as a rumble echoed around her, snapping her attention to her surroundings immediately. The light dying down as the thunder rolled away, she realised it had just been lightning. It was a shock enough to bring her out of her thoughts though.

Heaving another sigh, the troubled young woman pushed off the wall again and made her way back to the main street. However, when she got there, she frowned, only just realising how dark it was getting.

The rain was still coming down strong and her clothes were starting to stick to her, making her a little uncomfortable and more than a little cold. Not having bothered to put her hood up her hair was now stuck flat to her head, a few locks having come loose in the wind, sticking to her face. Brushing them aside, she frowned deeper, wondering where she had actually walked to. Looking up and down the street, she saw no cars at all, and no one she could ask for directions.

"Bugger…" She muttered to herself, annoyed that she'd let herself wonder so much away from her familiar streets. Wondering what the time was, she patted her pockets looking for her phone before remembering she'd left it at home. "Shit…" Just another thing she'd managed to mess up.

Stuffing her hands in her pockets, she turned to try and find some form of main road - mind on a taxi and the notes that brushed her frozen hands - but before she got ten feet, a light flickered on above her head. Squinting upwards in the rain, she saw it was a street lamp that had just come to life. Must be gone six then, she thought, just then realising how long she'd actually been out. Ducking her head once more as the icy rain came down, she started walking again, this time thinking that she should probably get back to the flat.

Another flash of lighting filled the street around her as she frowned deeper; she really should be getting home again. At the thought of going back to 221B she sighed and started walking again. Thinking about the flat only saddened her, remembering the last time she was there. She didn't really want to go back, but knew she also didn't really have a choice; she had to go home sometime.

It wasn't long though before a sleek black car pulled up next to her, speed dropping as she took a few more steps forward, not realising it was for her. She frowned as the window rolled down, pushing her drenched hair out of her face as she tried to make out who it was.

"A bit cold, my dear?" Came a familiar voice as she realised who it was.

"A little." She answered, keeping her voice light as she peered through the downpour, making out the suited man in the back seat. "Lovely weather to come home to."

"If you like cold, dark rain…" Mycroft answered with distaste, obviously not a fan of the weather. He just got a shrug in response. "You could always get in the car."

Here we go again, she thought tiredly, raising an eyebrow at him. "Going my way?"

"Eventually." He replied; she swore she could see the smirk, even in the dark car and through the heavy rain.

She let out a deep breath as she frowned at him. "I'll soak your nice car."

"Water dries." He told her, trying not to roll his eyes. The woman thought more about his car than herself.

As she debated the idea, another flash of lightning lit up the sky, her head snapping upwards at the loud thunder that rolled around the air.

"Well?" Mycroft called getting impatient.

Looking back to him, she gave him a grateful smile before running around to the other side and getting in, trying not to squeak too much against the dry leather of the interior. "Thanks Mycroft."

"Well, I can't leave you to freeze to death." He said, brushing off the unusually kind action; he didn't do kind.

Rose just lifted an eyebrow once again. "Worst thing that would happen is a cold; hardly life threatening."

"Still." Mycroft argued. "What sort of gentleman would I be if I let a lady walk in the rain?"

Rose held back a laugh. "I don't know; when you find a lady, you should ask her."

Mycroft let out a rare laugh at her reply; she certainly didn't act like any lady he knew. Laughter dying down he looked her over properly. She was completely drenched, hair sticking to her head flatly, clothes creased and stuck to her skin looking rather uncomfortable. But it was her face that he took true notice of; eyes red rimmed, the tired bags under her eyes from a long job away, the way she wasn't smirking as she did so often. The lack of smirk always troubled him somehow. "You look dreadful."

"Thanks..." She accepted with a confused frown. With a long walk in the rain and the stress of her parents - their words still cutting deep, even now - she didn't imagine she looked anything less than awful.

Seeing her lack of a fight though - as well as her lack of wanting to go home - he hummed in contemplation as he considered the offer of taking her back to his; he was on his way home from work after all when he found her. It truly had been a coincidence, but one he'd like to take full advantage of.

Seeing the cogs turning, she gave him a playfully suspicious look, keeping her privately dark thoughts hidden carefully. "What?"

"Oh, nothing..." He told her, knowing well the game they played.

She wasn't having it though, letting out a tired sigh as she pulled her arms around her, trying not to shiver. "No, come on now, I'm too cold to play; what?"

"I was just thinking…" He said innocently, ignoring her apparent lack of playing; she always played.

"Anything interesting?" She asked, knowing that if it was in his mind, it would be. The Holmes boys never wasted time on anything, whether it be their actions or their thoughts.

"Only whether you'd accept an offer..." He said lightly, looking away from her, knowing her curiosity would get the better of her. It was why she worked with Sherlock after all, she just couldn't resist it.

Rose grew wary then, wondering what the genius mind could have come up with. "Depends on the offer."

He looked up to her then, eyes meeting as he stared into her deep blue eyes. "A roaring fire and a strong drink?"

"That sounds very tempting…" She trailed off, wondering if she should be getting home; but she really didn't want to yet and the thought of a nice fire to warm her up a bit was very inviting.

Seeing she needed only a little push, Mycroft added, "Even a chance to get out of those wet clothes."

Raising an eyebrow at the things he hadn't said, she smirked at his choice of words, not believing him to be so forward without provocation. "Oh, really?"

Letting his lips curve into a slight smirk, he sat back, knowing her decision. "You can put dry ones on as well if you'd like, but that's your choice."

This is why she got along so well with Mycroft; he had the intelligence to keep up and frequently out do her, and the class to make him all the more appealing, but when it came down to it, he was just another man with one thing on his mind. Just like the rougher blokes she used to hang around, he didn't try and be something he wasn't.

"Ever the gentleman." She responded with a small smirk, sarcasm running through her words as they drove off.