Trigger warning for just about everything throughout this chapter, but to be more specific: trigger warnings for child abuse, domestic abuse, drug abuse and alcoholism, suicidal thoughts, odd sexual fetishes, and non-typical gore. PM me for a summary of this chapter if you think you may be triggered or if you just don't want to read it because it's disgusting, though beautifully written if I do say so myself.

IV. THE BLOOD QUEEN

It's my party and I'll die when I want to
Die when I want to, die when I want to
The monster you've made is wearing the crown
I'll be the king and you'll be the clown
I'll take the blame, parade it around
You've made me the villain you can't live without

COUNTESS "TESS" ST. CABERNET
DISTRICT ONE

She's in bed with Lily the morning before the reaping.

She occupies the left side of the bed whilst her darling perfect angel is on the right. Lily's fast asleep, her beautiful brown eyes closed, yet she's still smiling. Tess strokes her lover's long blonde hair, she thinks to herself, how could anybody be this exquisite?

But of course the girl next to her is nothing short of brilliance. She's Lily after all, and Lily's well, she's everything to Countess St. Cabernet.

(And Tess is everything to her.)

She presses her lips against the girl's shoulder. Her skin is so soft, so smooth… it's perfect. And even though Lily's still in her sleep, Tess knows that she sent shivers down her perfect flower's spine with just the slightest of a kiss. It's what she does to every girl she meets, but then again, Lily's different.

"Mommy's got something she has to take care of," She tucks back a strand of Lily's hair and whispers into her perfect little ear, "I'll be back soon though," Tess lowers her voice, "Mommy loves her pretty girl."

Tess could've sworn she saw Lily blush.

She covers her girl with the velour white blanket that once cloaked them both and carefully tiptoes out of the bed as to not disturb Lily.

"Shit," Tess feels the rubber texture of her phallic strap-on device on the ground dig into her heel as she tries to find the clothing she threw across the room the previous night.

But she quickly shuts herself up. She can't wake Lily from her precious slumber.

It's fine, I'll see Lily later… after the Games… Unless Mai's easy enough that Tess can sneak another visit with Lily in after she's done with her work.

Tess is only fourteen when she meets Hana Svarovsky.

And Hana is fourteen too. She's on the shorter side and has neat black hair cut into a bob, but more importantly she has the most gorgeous smile Tess' ever seen.

(Not the most beautiful smile she'll ever see though.)

And Tess is infatuated.

She always sees Hana at her mother's charity and Tess is enamored with her. She's shy, yes, but she comes undone so easily and so beautifully whenever Tess speaks to her.

"I like your barrette," Tess flirts with Hana one fateful day, "It really brings out the color of your eyes."

The barrette in Hana's hair is pink and her eyes are a deep shade of brown, but it's the thought that counts. She hasn't gotten that amazing at compliments yet, but Hana's easy to please.

"You really think so?" Hana's face turns red without much time passing. She's just so easy like that.

"Of course I do."

"You're really something, Countess."

"I keep telling you, you can just call me Tess."

Hana Svaorvsky is the sort of girl who cares about everybody, and perhaps that's what initially drew Tess to her. She helps all the animals at the Du Mortain Shelter, especially the bunnies, and lord it's just so darling to see the way Hana handles each critter like they're the most important thing in the world. And she's just as kind to the people she helps. Always cares about them, ensures they find the best possible pet for their lifestyle.

Tess wishes Hana could care for her the same way but —I'm unloveable. I've been it my entire life and whenever Hana's nice to me she's just lying. Everyone is if they say they love me, dammit. I don't deserve love, don't deserve affection, and I certainly don't deserve Hana Svarovsky. I don't deserve anything… I'm unlovable.

(If that's what Tess' father says then it must be true, right?)

They have their first kiss in the supply closet while Tess is helping Hana find colored bandanas to give to the perfectly groomed puppies. They're surrounded by bottles of shampoo and the smell of dog food is in the air, but at that moment, they're perfect. Tess' never kissed somebody before, and now that she's tasted Hana she doesn't want to stop.

So she doesn't. She doesn't stop even when she brings Hana back to her room in Elysium.

It's awkward, as most first times tend to be, but still Tess feels alive. Her skin's warm when it's rubbed up against Hana's and the hitch in her breath, the whimpers going "Countess…" She's never felt so alive.

Tess discovers too that she likes it rough. She likes it when Hana's strapped against her bed frame with her belts and she's at her complete and utter disposal. Hana seems to like it too. She calls Tess pretty, calls her ethereal, says that she loves her, as she shoves her fingers deeper and deeper inside of her.

(But Tess doesn't believe it. Why would anybody love her? She's unlovable, remember? Hana's just lying to her. She's not actually that nice. She can't be that nice. And there's so much life in Hana's eyes and all Tess has seen is death; she just refuses to believe such a pretty little thing could be attracted to her. Besides, Hana's so innocent, and Tess? She's unlovable.)

Tess discovers too that she likes it when she snaps Hana's neck and comes as the life leaves her body. She loves the thrill of it all, the way she's never felt such power in all her years, but now she's become a god in Hana's eyes. She's become Hana's savior even if she doesn't know it.

Hana was too good for this world, it was only going to destroy her, and now Tess' saved her from what would only cause her pain.

(She had too pure a heart.)

Murder and sex makes Tess feel alive, and oh how badly she needed to feel alive again. She's allowed to blossom now; she's allowed to be powerful, and unafraid of the fact she's powerful. She felt bad at first, but the memory of Hana slowly fading because of her is soothing now.

And training has a purpose now. She loves the new things she learns about the blades and the devices, and she begins to like herself. If she wasn't so unloveable then she'd love herself too.

But she does love Voitke Niyazova, or at least she loves the idea of her.

She meets Voitke at a bar when she's fifteen and Tess loves her energy, her spontaneity. She loves the way they can drink, smoke, and have fun together. And of course, of course, Tess loves that as much of a brat Voitke can be, she'll always be the one in charge in the bedroom. She'll always be powerful.

But lord, Voitke is so insolent. She's a slave to her own pleasure and she keeps spiraling too. Addiction, recovery, addiction, recovery, addiction, recovery… it just goes on and on and on. And she can't shut the fuck up either.

"We're going to have so much fucking fun tonight," She screams as they're leaving their third bar of the evening, grabbing Tess' ass, "I heard you got a strap-on!"

Tess is embarrassed. She laughs though, because she's above Voitke and her abusive cycles. Her destruction.

(And she does the ass grabbing, not the other way around, damnit.)

She's a celestial force. She's all the stars in the sky, the heavens too, and all Voitke is is a small speck of dust in the wind.

When she forces Voitke to overdose she justifies it like this— She was going to die anyways. Her addiction was bound to get to her eventually, and all Tess did was accelerate the process. If anything, she helped Voitke.

Tess enrolls in Elysium when she's just eleven years old. Just like any kid from District One who wants to make it somewhere. No, Tess needs to make it.

(She loves the routine Elysium offers her. At home, all Tess can do is suffocate in the fact she's unlovable.)

Still, Tess fades into the background, ignores everything around her. Ignores the crying boy called Lavish Tarro who she'd maybe be able to save in another life. Because it's better that way. People can't hate Tess if they don't know her.

She's better than these feelings of misery anyways. Countess St. Cabernet can't feel depressed, she can't feel pain. She can't feel at all. She's better than feelings.

(The first few years at Elysium are bleak. She hates the routine and she hates that she's become so pathetic, so shameful, so mortal.)

Her father wouldn't like that very much now would he? She went to Elysium to escape him, yet she still feels compelled to please him.

Yet she's consistently reminded that she's unlovable.

Daria's made Tess a flower crown.

Her hands are nimble as she weaves stems of sunflowers together in the shape of a circle. It's perfect, well, pretty damn close to perfect.

Tess thinks, Is she really my perfect girlfriend?

The lovers that came before Daria Makrain, too innocent and too insolent. But Daria's possibly perfect.

"For you," Daria's honey-colored eyes gleam under the sunlight of the field, "Do you like?"

Her hair's neatly styled into two braids, but her smile's the real thing that draws Tess' attention to her. Daria looks so happy, the corners of her lips making dimples on each of her cheeks.

And Daria's face is red, as it often is when she's around Tess. She takes it as a compliment even if she's used to making girls blush. It never gets old, not even when you're Countess St. Cabernet.

"I love it," Tess grabs Daria's hands, their pinkies intertwined as she kneels down, allowing the shorter girl to place the flower crown on her head.

"I love you," Daria opens her heart and Tess lets her. Things are moving too fast for Tess' liking, but in a way it's charming of Daria, the way she's come undone so quickly, and just for her.

Tess lifts her fingers and adjusts the crown's positioning on her head, "Mind giving me a kiss while I'm down here?"

As typical, Daria complies, still needing to adjust herself on the tips of her toes a bit before pressing her lips to Tess'. It's a soft kiss, their hands finding each other, but it's still tender.

Tess thinks she could live in that moment forever, just her and her perfect little sunflower.

Later that night they have dinner and Tess doesn't enjoy it. Daria divulged herself to her, told Tess about all her problems.

Her dad beat her, her mother left. And her ex girlfriend never really loved her. She was too prideful, that's what Daria told her. Said she was blinded by her own pride, took it out on Daria.

And as much as Tess feels sorry for the girl, she now knows that Daria can't be her perfect girlfriend. If Daria was her perfect match, she wouldn't be weighed down by all this baggage that's too heavy for Tess to lift.

It's a shame, much like Hana and Voitke, Daria's a flawed being. She thinks back to her cottage, the ice cold room where Hana's heart and Voitke's ass are stored, preserved until it's time for them to become part of her perfect darling baby angel.

They could use some smooth skin to bind them together.

Tess really does hate to do this to her, but Daria is too traumatized. Just as she promised the girl, Tess lights candles in her room and lays petals on her bed.

But what she doesn't tell Daria is the fact she's got a jar of tracker jackers in the closet, and when she spreads pollinated honey down her back, she'll be able to get her. She'll show Daria how badly she needs to love herself.

"The honey's sweet like you," She'll tell her darling as she massages her back, "Though nothing will ever be truly as sweet as you."

She lets Daria into the room, the girl undressing immediately and lying flat on the bed.

And she looks so peaceful, so peaceful that Tess almost feels bad. But Daria Makrain is too traumatized for her.

Daria flinches when the jackers penetrate her flesh, she cries a bit. So Tess closes her eyes. She can't bear to watch it happen.

(Daria always said she didn't think she was good enough for the world, Tess is just helping.)

Through her torture, Tess is able to show Daria Makrain that she's indeed enough.

And the honey just makes her skin even softer.

She has a cigarette in her mouth as she watches Mayuko Aoi beat up some punk Chevalier in the back alley behind the weight room. The girl's got a wicked look in her eyes, Tess notices.

She sees something in Mai, no, Countess St. Cabernet is eighteen and she sees everything in her.

Maybe she's met her match. Mai fights the same way Tess does, she's got the same brute strength and edge to her, and Tess admires her for it. The kid she beat had a black eye and three chipped teeth by the end of Mai's takedown, and Tess is oddly intrigued by her.

"What you looking at?" Mai notices and scoffs.

"Nothing," Strangely, Tess is almost nervous around her.

But then Tess keeps noticing Mai more and more along the halls of Elysium. She notices her pointed jawline, arched brows, eyes so black she can see her own soul in them. It seems that wherever Tess goes, Mai is sure to follow her.

"What are you looking at?" Tess finally confronts her after a few weeks of this following, "I know you've been watching me."

"You've been watching me too," Mai points out and Tess almost blushes.

"So?" She keeps her cool though, "Maybe I just want to train with you?"

And Mai agrees to Tess' proposal. She agrees and she's lad to the wrestling room. They change into spandex outfits and hell Mai looks so fine, the tight fabric perfectly accentuating her thighs and her stomach and her ass and her breasts and… shit. Tess focuses on the task at hand, on the wrestling. No better way to seduce a girl than to beat the shit out of her in a formal setting where she's practically asking to get her shit rocked.

Mai puts up a good challenge for Tess though. They're both ranked high in their class and for good reason. Mai's a bit robotic with her movements though, even if her punches hit hard and her kicks bruise deep.

Tess' movements are more fluid, more natural. She hits Mai where it hurts and by the end of the match they're both covered in cuts and scratches and bruises. Mai looks good when she's hurt.

"Nice work, St. Cabernet," Mai compliments her as she blots away the blood from one of Tess' scratches, "We should fight again sometime."

"I've got a better idea," She winks and less than five minutes later, Mai is stripped naked in a supply closet and laughing as Tess leaves new cuts and scratches down her stomach, a small knife in between her teeth.

Mai takes pleasure in the pain Tess causes her, she even encourages it. She's turned on when Tess purposely uses her hand with acrylic nails on her fingers to penetrate her, even though it hurts.

And Tess? She's fueled more than ever before as Mai screams her name again and again, begs "hurt me," but then laughs whenever Tess does inflict pain. And it causes Tess to laugh too, well not laugh, but cackle at the way she's taken control over the girl who was trying to break her limbs less than an hour ago.

Nobody takes control over Tess, and Mai knows that now. Mai knows it and she enjoys the pleasure in her pain.

When all is said and done, Mai leaves the supply closet horny and covered in so many marks that somebody would think she's dead, and Tess leaves feeling like she's been reborn a queen once more.

When all is said and done, it's now Mai and Tess against the world.

Tess is fifteen when she sees Viridian Albane steal a glance at her in one of Elysium's changing rooms.

"My eyes are up here," She notices where their eyes have wandered and places her finger under their chin, "But hey, I'm glad you like what you're looking at."

Viri just blushes, smiles and says, "Has anyone ever told you that you're beautiful?"

(Of course, many people have.)

"You're welcome to be the first," Tess lies.

They bite their lip ever so slightly, "You're beautiful."

So Tess moves her body closer to her fellow Chevalier. She lets her nipples rub against Viridian's shirt, doesn't even flinch when they instinctively grab her back and repeat themself, "You're beautiful, Tess."

She moves a strand of Viri's black hair behind their ear and leans down to kiss them ever so softly. Are there other people watching the two of them? In that moment, Tess doesn't really care. All she can think is Viri, and how much she loves kissing Viri. How much she loves sliding her tongue in between their teeth and watching them shiver with even the slightest of touches.

And Tess begins to love the way Viridian attaches themself to her. She loves the way they need her love, need her kisses and touches. She loves the way Viri wants to love her so much until it hurts.

But she doesn't love how desperate Viri is. They're quite pathetic, really. And isn't Tess pathetic too if she kills everyone who tries to love her? Isn't she also pathetic, also desperate? She's unlovable, remember. She always will be and it'll be even worse when Viri finds out that three girls are six feet under because of her, the serial killer who yearns for love. It's a cliche and it's so fucking pathetic of her. It's ridiculous. Yet Viri still follows her around like a lost child in a museum.

Viridian is Tess' mirror, scared of getting close to anybody enough to care for them, yet now they're dependent. And Tess likes when people are dependent on her since it makes her feel less dissatisfied in her relationships. Yet with Viri she feels even more unloveable. Only the broken like her and what does that say? Only the broken need her.

(Tess is broken just as bad if not worse, but she doesn't need that pain in her lovers.)

She almost feels like she has Viri permanently tied to her on a string which is why…

But she settles their nerves first. Injects morphling in their veins when they're tied up against the bed frame for a night of loving, and Viri's nervous at first, they ask, "What's this, Tess?" and their eyes are like puppies.

"Morphling," She acts like it's no big deal because it truly isn't, "You've tried it, right?"

(Tess hasn't, but she knows what it does to people. And she lusts for what it'll do to Viri.)

"Of course I have," They try to sound all cool which doesn't really work since Tess'll always see right through them.

"Good," Tess presses the syringe deep into their thigh, "I can't wait to see how pretty your moans sound when you're high."

She eases into it though. She kisses Viri where she knows they'll whimper and she squeezes onto their skin with a firm grip, traces one hand down their arm while the other is inside of them. And Tess is so gentle with it too, so gentle that Viri doesn't even notice it when… snap!

And Tess nearly moans at the sound of Viri's humerus popping out of it's socket.

Viri does whimper though. They've learned to like it when Tess causes them pain with her touches.

"You're so good," Tess whispers as she kisses their ears, "I love how much you love me."

(She doesn't.)

But she does love the way she's able to render Viri immobile, the other humerus dislocating with ease and then their elbows popping too. She lives for the autonomy she has when she's in control of them.

Viridian's her doll now.

The metal loops penetrate their flesh with ease, and the string too. Tess works quickly with her torture. Maybe it's because part of her doesn't want to hurt them.

But the other part of her has fun when she's pulling the strings and making them dance, making them wince in pain and pleasure.

She has fun when the song is over and she sticks her knife at Viri's throat, whispers in their ear, "You don't need to be desperate for anybody else now."

If she plays with Viri's life (and death) then she can pretend she's not being dramatic for the sake of hiding her own insecurities. She can pretend she's fearless.

But she can't pretend she has no use for Viri's bones.

At sixteen her love for Clio St. Francis comes and goes.

While Viridian was clingy, Clio was so independent, almost too independent. She can't hear, and part of Tess likes that, though it really is a shame since her moans are so beautiful.

It seems that Clio's independent from her senses too.

She certainly doesn't when Tess cuts out her tongue, sprays acid up her nose, gouges her eyes and skins her hands. She pours molten aluminum in her ears, but she couldn't hear anyways.

It's a nice break from Viri's clinginess but ultimately she's too much of an individual and there can only be one, damnit.

Though Clio had the prettiest ears.

Madison Saros always overworked herself at Elysium and Tess notices it.

"You okay?" She asks the day after killing Clio when Maddie is panting by a knife station.

And Maddie just breaks… she's like a voice of melancholy. She's anomic and she hates herself and lord Tess sees herself in her. She sees the fact she'll never truly escape anything, never truly escape her father.

(She's so empty, Tess is.)

And when she loves Maddie she's reminded of everything. She's reminded of how she's so empty and how much she hates her home and how she's broken and how it all just hurts.

It's like a mask, where Tess has to pretend she's alright, she's fine for Maddie.

(But she's so damn empty.)

She can't even bear to see Madison's face when she closes the doors of the iron maiden she built. Because Maddie reminds her too much of herself, so Tess doesn't even feel excited when she kills her. She just feels like she's helping Maddie by killing her since she really had no use in life. Maybe death will help her be somebody's muse, somebody's rose, but Tess doubts it. Maddie's just as empty as she is.

Tess even cries when she buries Maddie in the woods around Elysium, leaving her to suffer and slowly bleed out. She even looks beautiful with all the holes in her body, and Tess sticks her finger in one before kissing the wound and trying to say goodbye to the girl that was too much like her yet so utterly different.

It wasn't worth it, building an iron maiden was too difficult for a kill that Tess took no pleasure from.

(But maybe Maddie's happy in death.)

(Tess'll never admit she'd also be happy.)

Tess was born with the world in her fingertips. The daughter of One's treasurer and the owner of an animal shelter, she was born with everything. She was born in a mansion with gold plated walls (that couldn't block the noise of shattering glass) and creme molded ceilings (that couldn't stop the shaking from the stomping), and each room was more extravagant as the last.

The St. Cabernets had everything. They had vacation houses around the District, they had forests and lakes to their names. They had everything.

And Tess looked up to her mother Marchioness when she was young.

"I love you mom," She would say every night before bed, "Thank you for taking care of me."

(She always said thank you, because Tess was so thankful for the life she had.)

Yet her mother would say nothing in response. She would just mumble something and Tess would leave her chamber feeling like she didn't mean anything to her mother. Like she was an accident even if Marchioness swore up and down that she wasn't.

But at least Tess had Regina. Regina her nanny who cared for her and loved her and ensured that she was happy. Regina, who played dolls with her, showed her cooking for fun.

(Her fondest childhood memories were never meant to last.)

Penelope Priestly is supposed to be a one night stand, Tess reminds herself this and laughs when she knocks on the door of the circus performer's house once more. She was never supposed to see her again after the night they met the previous week when Tess went to her show to get away from her negative feelings about Maddie, yet here she is, in front of Penny's house for the third time this week.

"Back for more, I take it?" Penny giggles when she opens the door to see Tess standing in front of her with a smirk, "I can't say I blame you… they say that I have the best puss—"

"Please," Tess cuts her off and then whispers, "Cute of you to act all confident though when we both know who's going to be moaning who's name in a bit."

Maybe that's why Tess keeps coming back to Penny. She likes her energy, lives the way she does everything for the thrill of it all. She's so reckless, and beautifully so. So daring, and well the whole circus thing definitely helps in the bedroom…

(She hates the way she'll never be as free as Penny. She'll never get to be that vibrant.)

"You make good points m'lady," Even if she's flirting, Penny still sounds sarcastic.

"I always do."

They don't talk much longer after that. Penny just leads Tess to her somewhat messy bedroom with flannel sheets and clothes sprawled out all over the floor. She sort of enjoys fucking her there, all her previous encounters have been in the privacy of her own small house near Elysium, so this is a new thrill she enjoys. Penny makes her enjoy these sorts of differences, these changes in scenery.

And foreplays always been fun with Penny, because again, she's damn flexible, and that's worth something. She bends physically and mentally at Tess' will, arching her back so she could be kissed along her stomach, Tess' lips trailing down her thighs, her fingers light against her core before Penny allows her tongue to enter.

She tastes better than all the rich Elysium girls, Tess'll give her that. There's something gritty to her… gives her flavor.

Penny's tender too… Tess' strap-on fits inside her with ease and her hips sway back and forth, small gyrations that cause the girl to scream, moan Tess' name like it's the only thing capable of leaving her lips.

But she's so reckless, and so daring… and Tess is so jealous that she can't be as reckless and daring. She'd never scream during sex because damnit, that's not very ladylike of you. And she prefers her lovers' screams more anyways.

(I'm not supposed to be jealous… I have nice things and a nice life and gosh being jealous is a horrible feeling… I hate it. I hate it, and I'm unloveable and that's why I'll only sleep with Penelope. That's why I'll never be able to love her, I'm not daring enough, not adventurous enough to have fun with her outside the bedroom. I'm not enough for her… and because of that she'll leave. I can't have a lover with no strings attached)

Penny decides to show Tess how she swallows her sword at the circus. She eases it down her throat and laughs, her naked body still sprawled out on the bed. Tess would never do such a thing… too dangerous. And too risky, dammit Tess can't take risks. She's too precious for risks. And she's jealous that Penny's allowed risks.

As it turns out, swords can also be swallowed by other holes.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Is what Penny asks when Tess removes the sword from her mouth and aims it at her pelvis, "Where are you fucking putting that?"

Tess doesn't allow herself to speak. She just… goes.

The circus girl is so tender…

At times, the St. Cabernet house can be like a circus. At times, Tess can't sleep because the yelling is too much.

She's barely five… she isn't supposed to be familiar with the sounds of bones cracking, the sounds of her father Sultan's voice screaming at the maids as he breaks them down one by one.

"You're scum, you're whores," He says at night, and Tess cries as he yells, "You're not fit to work for us."

And then comes the sounds of more bones cracking, "You don't deserve the accommodations our family provides."

More cracking, sounds of maids apologizing to him. Tess' thoughts drift and she hopes and prays that Regina isn't one of those pleading.

Then the sound of her mother, "Sully, please."

Her father: "Sultan," the crack of a whip on somebody's back.

Tess can't see it yet she pictures it in her head. She pictures the tears in her mother's eyes and the evil look on her father's face.

She's glad she doesn't talk to him all that much. She's glad he ignores her.

"I'm sorry," Again, her mother pleads, "Please stop hurting these people."

"I hurt who deserves to be hurt. They don't deserve to be alive anyways."

More screaming, more cracking. It's another sleepless night for Tess.

Cecilia Perdanez is Tess' rival, a girl who always sneers at her in the pool when they're swimming laps, always scorns at her. She tries to rile Tess up when she's seventeen, but Tess doesn't have it. She thinks it's funny, almost. Funny that Cel even dares to rile her up, of all people.

(But at night, the two of them are lovers. At night, Tess has Cel in chains tied to her bed and she's hitting her back with a paddle. She's laughing at the fact she doesn't even need to blindfold Cel the same way she did her other lovers since the girl is blind and already can't see all the pain Tess loves inflicting on her. It's hateful sex, but that doesn't mean Tess can't live for it.)

"Think you can swim faster," Cel crosses her arms after a particularly successful lap and Tess just has to laugh.

"I know I can," She rolls her eyes and dips her feet into the pool, "Want to watch… oh wait."

"Only I get to joke about that."

"Please, I'm hilarious."

Tess wishes Cel could see how beautiful her face looks when she's moaning her name.

Tess loves the way she forces Cel into submission so easily, the way she snarls and writhes and she's humiliated by Tess, coming undone so easily under her touch. And Tess knows all her insecurities, and she uses them against her, she says "You're not good enough?"

And Cel nods, "Why did I tell you that?"

"You can be good enough if you stay still and let mommy do her work for a few minutes," Tess hits the back of Cel's clit with her ring finger, "Don't make any noises and then you'll be good enough."

"I'll try…" Cel is deadpan even during sex because lord she's so arrogant and domineering. So stuck up and inhibited and so prideful. So frustrating at times. Tess remembers when she was the same, yet she's the one who discovered feeling alive during murder, not Cel.

Cel has so much still… she has her family, people who love her, people who want her even if her image is tainted, and Tess… has nothing, ungrateful bitch.

She doesn't need her eyes anyways. Tess repeats that to herself as the scalpel in her hand hits the ciliary muscles on Cel's left eye. Her hand is on the lens yet Cel doesn't even notice. She's too trapped under Tess' spell to notice what's happening to her.

And her optic nerve is easy to cut through. Easy for Tess to make a clean incision and dig a bit inside the retina, screw up her vision a bit more. It's a soft texture, Cel's eye. Almost silky like a blanket, and oh so removable. It's a clean drag of the scalpel along the back of the eyeball that allows it to pop out of the socket with ease and onto Tess' hand.

Fragile like glass… fragile like how I'm supposed to be.

(And she's still so fragile.)

"Open," Tess taps Cel's lips.

Cel opens immediately and Tess inserts the eyeball in between her teeth, "Chew."

"What is it?"

"You'll like it."

"Why did my eyes hurt?"

"You said it yourself, your eyes are broken."

Her second eye is even easier. And as Cel chews on the first it's like she's finally swallowing her pride, which should have been in her stomach months ago. Maybe then Cecilia Perdanez wouldn't be so bitter.

And when Cel bites, Tess touches her. Yet she doesn't let her moan, she just lets her enjoy the taste of her own terribly broken eyes.

Cel's always had a stick up her ass too. The Chevaliers all mock her for the way she's so entitled even though she's so clearly broken, worthless despite the fact she acts like she's queen bee. Only one is worthy of the title.

The stake fits up her ass even without lubrication. It's symbolic, and Cel doesn't understand what's happening to her. She just laughs and laughs in delirium.

Blood is on Tess' hand but she doesn't care, her stake's almost reached Cel's colon.

And she's glad she kept one of her eyes.

Six. That's how old she was when Marchioness stands at the foot of the door and announces, "I've had enough. I'm leaving."

So Tess goes to hug her mother yet she's immediately prevented from doing so, "I don't want anything to do with this family anymore."

There's a bruise on her eye and Tess can only assume her father gave it to her, but in reality she's better off pretending she has no idea.

"You're sick," Sultan speaks with spit in his throat, "You never deserved my love."

And all Tess can do is cry. She'll never get to know her mother now, and that very thought hurts her. She just wants her back, just wants to get to know her behind her cold exterior, yet she now fears she can't.

(Maybe in another life they'll be reunited.)

Tess is convinced that Vi has to be perfect for her. Sure, she said the same thing about Daria, but she was fifteen then and she's seventeen now. She's learned about love, she's learned what she likes and what she doesn't. And Vi (who's too perfectly pathetic to be a Chevalier) is the best mix imaginable of Viridian and Daria.

She's nurturing like Daria and she's in awe with her like Viridian, but she's not toxic like the two of them. At least that's what Tess thinks before things go on and Tess realizes Vi is just too pathetic. She's always on her hands and knees for Vi, so obedient, so submissive.

(Part of it reminds her of the way her mother was so submissive to her father, so obedient until she wasn't.)

Tess hates that parallel and as a result she starts to hate Vi.

She hates that Vi represents the way she feels dead inside. She's just a husk of somebody, and so weak. Tess can't be weak and she grows afraid that she'll be more like Vi if she continues to spend more time with her. So she gets antsy. Because she could become so pathetic and well… that's not Tess. That's the furthest thing from Tess.

The maggots eat through Vi's flesh so beautifully. Tess is giddy as they tear through Vi's labia, enter her insides and bite at her clitoris.

(Vi's so pathetic that it makes her moan.)

And her skin is disappearing as the maggots begin to spread. They work their way up her stomach, her sides, the flesh rotting until Tess can see Vi's hip bones peaking out. Such pathetic and weak hips… she doesn't mind as they disintegrate. She doesn't mind how slimy Vi's intestines are once the maggots gnaw through her pelvis. Tess claws at them. She enjoys their texture even though it's clear Vi is already dead.

Because Vi is so fun to break. Her jawline too… so pathetic and delicate. So fragile, so easily severed with a sword. Her hyoid so tender, the flesh around her neck made to be destroyed. When her larynx is sliced, Tess doesn't find that she misses Vi's pathetic little voice, her fragile little pleading.

And so the knife reaches the other side of Vi's neck and Tess brings her head to her lips, biting at them delicately even though blood from the incision is dripping onto the bed and her eyes are rotted and rolled over.

She runs her finger over the head's eyelids to close them, and even then, Vi looks pathetic.

Tess is on the roof with Mai when they talk.

In just a few days, the two of them will fight for the first time since that one time as Elysium decides which of them should be chosen to volunteer for the 94th Annual Hunger Games.

Tess wants the Games more than anything. People are beginning to know bits and pieces about her and they deserve the full story. They deserve to hear about how she rose to the occasion after her household of hellfire tried to burn her, only for her to rise from the ashes as the blood queen.

She laughs at the headlines too…

"You better throw the match," Tess says in between kisses, her hands scratching the back of her head, fingers intertwined in locks of hair so black and shiny.

Mai pulls away, "Fine."

And maybe it's because they've gone through so much together or maybe it's actually love that leads Tess to believe her.

Padma Youssef is even more prideful than Cel, if that's even possible. Yet Tess is seventeen and loves her anyways. She loves that she acts like she's an alpha when Tess is. And she lets Padma act like she's in charge because she thinks it's funny.

But Padma always wants more, and her desires are never-ending.

(Tess always wants more, and her desires are never-ending. She won't admit it.)

And Padma acts like she's so morbid. Like she knows the best way to torture somebody into submission.

She learns she's wrong when she chokes on her own tongue.

(Her mouth is so sharp.)

Elysium doesn't do a thing about it… two titans gone, Padma and Cel, that only makes decisions easier down the line.

She chooses to let Mai accompany her for her next murder.

They've been dating for a few months, Padma's been dead for a few more, and it's time for a fancy dinner held in Elysium for the graduating class as the year of training begins. It's cold that January, but the way Mai's been moaning her name again and again makes Tess feel warm.

"And you're sure we're going for Alcraiz?" Mai asks, giddy about this little adventure for the two of them.

"Positive." Tess licks her lips, knowing Maeve will probably arrive in the bathroom soon.

Maeve Alcraiz's spirit was something that always bothered Tess. She's authoritative, a pain in the ass, and all bark without bite. She's similar to Voitke though, fun to play with, fun to put in place when her and Mai need a third.

But she's ultimately too much.

Maeve enters the bathroom to see Mai and Tess undressed so she smirks and says, "You two want a quickie?"

Tess looks at Mai deadpan, "Go."

Mai runs at Maeve and presses her to the ground. She's short and feisty but it's still quite easy. And Maeve doesn't get it, she just laughs, "Usually Tess is the more dominant one of you two, no?"

(Tess is familiar with the sound of cracking bones.)

(Maeve's are no different.)

And Tess wants to wring her out, drain her of her energy, of the spirit she doesn't deserve to have. What struggles has she even faced?

Mai props Maeve on the sink as Tess inserts a needle into her arm. At first it's slow when the blood drips into the basin, so Tess squeezes and more of Maeve spills out.

And as Maeve screams, Tess and Mai rejoice. They kiss in front of her, make pictures on the mirror with her blood and laugh at the fact they have a new dressing for the steak they'll eat later.

They're euphoric together, just Tess and Mai and their first shared victim… It's proof Tess has found her soulmate.

(Maeve's hair was so soft when she dropped to the ground.)

She feels a myriad of things when Mai beats her in the match and is chosen to volunteer, and she lets the feelings spiral for a bit. Lily is good to her, Lily helps her the previous night.

So on the morning of the reaping Tess knows what she has to do.

One night, it is in fact Regina's bones that Tess hears break.

She asks her father the next morning, "Where is she?"

And Sultan just shrugs his shoulders and says, "She wasn't fit to work here anymore."

She lost her mother just a few months ago and Tess can't deal with the loss of the only person who cared.

She screams at her father but he just steps on her foot, "You don't understand, Tess. You'll get it when you're older."

"Get what?"

"Some people are better off dead."

Maybe Mai didn't realize that the Games meant so much to Tess, that they meant reclaiming the life Sultan stole, but that doesn't change the fact that it feels so personal to Tess.

"You said you didn't want to Volunteer," Was what she said to Mai after the match, "Why did you fucking ruin my chances?"

And Mai had just smirked, "It wasn't personal. I just felt like it."

(Maybe Mai would have let her volunteer. Maybe she wouldn't stop her because the Games meant nothing to her. But still Tess was embarrassed, even if Mai's just like that, just does whatever she wants without giving a damn. Tess is hurting, she's betrayed.)

And on the morning of the reaping, Tess breaks her bones.

Mai doesn't even stop her, because Mai likes it. She just laughs, makes snarky comments, "Hurry up, the reaping is soon," as Tess destroys her.

It's like when they killed Maeve together… it's fun for them somehow.

(Secretly Mai's always wanted to die even more than Tess. She's giving her salvation.)

Mai's not like the others… but Tess is angry still because Lily's better and Lily's not like Mai.

It feels wrong, she's joking as she kills her, making her taste her own blood. She covers herself in it too, makes it a fun addition to her reaping outfit.

She can't think… she can't feel… she's just breaking.

It's not satisfying when Mai finally dies and Tess just feels conflicted. Because the cleanup's easy and Mai's staring back at her in a glass display case.

(Mai who was supposed to be her soulmate. Mai who enjoyed thrill and terror and death as much as she did. Mai who still betrayed her.)

And again, Tess is unlovable…

(Unloveable without Lily.)

Does she care?

…

Ha.

"This is why nobody loves you," Sultan screams as he hits Tess' back with the same whip that struck Regina, struck her mother, "You're too stuck up."

It's been like this for years and Tess is so broken down. She doesn't understand what she did wrong to him. Doesn't understand why he takes so much pleasure in hitting her, hurting her.

Tess remembers how he said pain is beauty.

She'll be beautiful someday too. And she'll spread that beauty to others.

Hana Svarovsky, too innocent.

Voitke Niyazova, too insolent.

Daria Makrain, too traumatized.

Viridian Ahane, too clingy.

Clio St. Francis, too individualistic.

Madison Saros, too melancholic.

Penelope Priestly, too willful.

Cecilia Perdanez, too prideful.

Vi Voclain, too pathetic.

Padma Youssef, too irreverent.

Maeve Alcraiz, too spirited.

(And Mai's too much of a traitor.)

But together they can be perfect.

Hana's heart, Voitke's ass, Daria's skin, Viridian's bones, Clio's ears, Madison's musculature, Penelope's vagina, Cel's eye, Vi's head, Padma's mouth, and Maeve's hair. Tess kept them all over the years and now she'll make them into something beautiful.

These girls were her seeds, they were petals… but never a fully bloomed flower. Never somebody without flaws, somebody who would love Tess unconditionally even though she's unlovable.

Together they can be perfect.

Together they can blossom.

She works hard when she stitches them together. Tess handles the best parts of her previous lovers with care. She does it with love… since she loves these parts of these people and she wants them all together. Of course one plaine person wasn't good enough for Tess, of course she needs a whole bouquet of a person who'll love her.

She needs perfection because she's everything but.

She needs Lily.

Lily… that's what she names the girl that's forged from her previous darlings. And she's perfect. She's everything Tess' ever loved in one.

And she'll never leave Tess either.

She'll never be too innocent or insolent or traumatized or clingy or individualistic or melancholic or willful or prideful or pathetic or irreverent or spirited or traitorous.

Lily is perfect. She's cultured, refined. She'll never leave.

Which is why Tess pleasures her, worships her.

She kisses her skin which is still so smooth and her hair is so delicate. And Lily loves her too. She's still smiling as Tess rides her, still so perfect, so angelic. She's at peace when Tess fucks her.

She's at peace when Tess thrusts inside her with the anger she has for Mai, apologizing immediately after, "Sorry if that was too rough, love."

Lily doesn't respond because she's happy with Tess.

And Tess is happy with her.

"You're such a good girl," Tess tells Lily again and again as she consumes her with love, "You're everything."

It's the best Tess has ever had.

She loves Lily more than she's ever known love before.

And she needs to give Lily the world, even if it means seeing Mai's blood splatter.

Everything she does has to be for Lily.

And so the night before the reaping, Countess St. Cabernet goes to bed with Lily.

She goes to bed with Hana, Voitke, Daria, Viridian, Clio, Madison, Penelope, Cecilia, Vi, Padma, and Maeve, too.

Necessary Evil by Motionless in White

For the record, I don't know what the fuck y'all just read either. But yeah, meet Tess. She is kind of iconic, you have to admit it, but also holy shit if you are afraid of her, I can't even blame you because she sure is something. I had a blast writing her though and if you've made it to the end of this intro I hope you're okay and I hope you enjoyed reading it too. For the record, I doubt all the other intros will be this long and rambly, but who knows? They very well could be! I adore this cast more than life itself. I just thought many words were necessary to understand Ms. Countess St. Cabernet, so hopefully you do. She still has a few secrets though, so those shall be revealed in due time, let's just say that.

By the way, thank you to Dawn for this absolute demon and thank you to Haiden for helping because yeah, she sure is a special one. I hope you enjoyed her intro!

That's all I'll say for now but yeah, Lavish's intro will come eventually, probably soonish, and it will be less traumatic than this one.

Fuck this shit, I'm out,
Linds