AN: Trigger warnings to things are present. Don't like don't read.
I don't own Rizzoli & Isles. I just borrow them and some dialogue at times.
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Jane slammed the phone down on her desk as she tried to reign in her panic. She hadn't heard from Maura for hours now and none of the family had gotten through either. She hated Dean and his impeccable timing as he leaned his hip against her desk, his arms crossed over his chest smugly.
"Still haven't found the doc?" He asked casually.
She glared up at him, "Leave before I throw you out."
He chuckled, "Let me take you to dinner and make it up to you."
She stood quickly, sending her desk chair flying backwards. Korsak and Frost stood promptly and moved towards him instantly, but she shook her head, "Never going to happen. Maura and I are getting married and so help me, if I find out that you are the reason she's missing, I will kill you myself."
He held his hands up, shock prevalent on his face, "Hey it was worth a shot."
She glared at him, "Korsak, Frost, escort him back to the elevators."
He grimaced at her, "Don't be like that."
She shook her head, "Get out."
As Korsak and Frost followed Dean out of the bullpen she growled in the back of her throat as she hunted down her chair and sat back at her desk. She hated not knowing where Maura was, and it didn't help that she knew the woman was keeping something from her.
They hadn't kept secrets from each other since their first fight. Maura had been more than hurt in that argument and Jane had felt like an ass, but her jealousy was something that she had been trying her whole life to overcome. It had exploded just as her mother said it would, though she was reluctant to ever admit that out loud.
She wasn't sure how long she had been staring at her phone when it buzzed on top of her desk and Susie Chang's face appeared on her screen. She frowned at the image of Maura's lead lab tech and quickly answered the call, "Have you seen Maura?"
Susie chuckled, "No but I have good news. I just got off the phone with her, and I'm curious as to why Agent Dean looks petrified."
She frowned as she found her keys in her top drawer, "No idea but as long as he stays away from me and Maura, I'm happy. Thanks Susie. Now where is she?"
"She's heading home Jane."
Frost exited BRICK, "Jane her phone is back on."
She grinned at the younger man, "Thanks Susie and you know that's puts at number two, right?" She laughed as she heard Susie's shouted, "YES!" in the background before she hung up the phone.
She turned to Frost, "Where?"
"The townhouse." He eyed her with confusion.
"I'll see you tomorrow." She said quickly as she headed for the elevators.
She sped across town using her lights and siren. Her only thought was of Maura and where the hell the woman had been without telling her. She parked on the street and hurried up to the front door, pausing at the sound of silence she heard. She used her key to push the door open and frowned when she was met with darkness, not a single light was on.
She shut and locked the door behind her, placing a hand on her gun as she checked the living room. She looked at the top of the stairs before she took the as quietly as she could, her hand still on her gun. A soft glow was emanating from their bedroom and hesitated for a moment before pushing the door open.
Maura spun around to look at her, a soft smile on her face. The glow of the candlelight around the room flickered off the blonde's hair making it look as if it were shimmering. Her breath caught in her chest as her eyes took in the woman's half naked, toned body.
She knew firsthand what those legs felt like around her neck, how strong those thighs really were. She knew what that skin felt like under her hands, her scars causing the blonde to moan louder as they brushed across her sensitive areas. She knew how firm and pliable Maura's breasts where when touched and how the woman's nipples tightened at just the thought of her going near them.
Her eyes jerked back up to Maura's face as she cursed her one tracked mind, "I've been looking for you most of the afternoon. Why didn't you answer your phone?"
Maura smiled widely at her, excitement dancing in her shinning hazel eyes, "I have some news for you."
She frowned at her fiancé, seeing the tears that brimmed the woman's eyes, "I know you've been sick but why didn't you tell me?"
Maura cocked her head at her, "You knew?"
She nodded as she entered the room fully, "You don't vomit that quietly babe."
Maura laughed, a full laugh as the tears slid down her cheeks and she couldn't take the separation anymore. She took a step towards her fiancé but froze when Maura stepped away from her, "Jane I have something I have to tell you and I don't know how you are going to take it."
She frowned, her fingers twitching at her sides, itching to touch the woman in front of her, "Well just tell me." At Maura's hesitation she groaned, "Maura, you're scaring the hell out of me. Just tell me please."
Maura took a deep breath, "Let me ask you this first, do you want kids?"
Her eyes tracked Maura's movement across the room, "With you? Of course, I do. I mean we haven't talked about it but it's something I can see us doing. Why?"
Her heart skipped a beat as Maura turned back to face her, quickly unhooking her bra and letting it drop to the floor. The smile Maura gave her was breathtakingly beautiful with the flames making her glow.
Glow?
She gasped as the realization hit her and she moved across the room without another thought, "You're… How? I mean… How?"
She couldn't think straight as the excitement coursed through her body, adding to the arousal that was already charging the air around them. Her heart swelled larger with love for her fiancé that was not only in love with her but was…
She kissed the woman deeply, their tongues meeting without asking. They needed the connection with each other and when she pulled back, she couldn't stop the smile from pulling at her lips, "Say it."
Maura smiled back, "I'm pregnant. We're pregnant."
She gripped Maura's hips and pulled her tight against her body, "Again."
Maura laughed, "Jane, you got me pregnant." She groaned with happiness as Maura gripped the front of her button up blouse, "I'll buy you a new shirt."
She frowned in confusion for a split second until Maura ripped the front of her shirt open, buttons flying in every direction. She smirked at the woman, "Impatient Doctor Isles?"
Maura grinned wickedly up at her, "I'm pregnant Jane."
She growled as she crushed her mouth to Maura's, need and desire and excitement overwhelming her every thought. She lifted Maura off the floor and moaned into the kiss as the blonde wrapped her legs around her waist tightly. She loved the feel of Maura around her, consuming her, invading every single one of her senses.
Maura's head fell back as she laughed, "This is how we got here to begin with Jay."
She chuckled as she nipped at her lovers' neck, "I don't see you complaining." She carried Maura towards the bed but stopped to ask, "Should I stop?"
Maura gripped a fistful of her hair with a deep growl that was uncommon for the petite quirky Medical Examiner, "Stop and you'll sleep on the couch for a month."
She laid her lover on the bed and hovered over her mouth, "Your wish, my command baby."
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Jane slammed on the brakes in front of the Dirty Robber, the pub that Korsak had bought the year before. Her heart was racing as she flew out of the unmarked cruiser and sprinted into the dimly lit pub. Her eyes scanning the entire area for the woman that she was here for. She found her mother standing behind the bar, eyes swollen and puffy.
"Ma!" She called out to the woman as she approached the end of the bar, "Where?"
Angela hurried around the bar and rushed towards her, "She had to go visit her attorney's office. She didn't say why."
She frowned as she eyed her mother carefully, "You sure it was her?"
Angela crossed her arms over her chest, "Really? When were you going to tell us, that Maura was pregnant?"
Her eyes widened as her heart sped up. The only way that her mother would know that was if it really had been Maura. She hadn't told anyone except Agent Dean when she had been hammered two years ago on the anniversary of Maura's disappearance.
She felt her heart sink slightly, "Maura was really here?"
Angela nodded, "He looks so much like you Janie."
She felt the tears burn her eyes, "He? We have a son?"
She didn't want to get her hopes up. Until she saw Maura with her own eyes, she wouldn't believe what she was being told. Everything felt like she was in a dream, so unreal. How could Maura just be here after all these years? How could their child be alive after all this time? Why hadn't she heard from them yet?
She frowned at her mother, "Why didn't she come to me first?"
Angela shook her head, tears filling her eyes again, "She didn't know I worked here and stopped in to get them lunch. She's looking for a place for them to live Janie. She's back for good."
She collapsed on the empty stool at the counter, "Is she coming back?"
Angela nodded, "I told her I get off at five and she said they'd be back. She didn't want to disturb you at work."
She couldn't ignore the pain in her chest that she had missed the woman, the mother of her child. She silently cursed Boston traffic but took a slight comfort in the fact that Maura would be back. She wanted to wait, to sit right at this bar and stare at the door until the woman in question walked in. She would do it too if it weren't for Korsak.
He frowned at her, "We have to get back to the station. I'll make sure you get off early so you can be here when she gets back Jane."
She felt her shoulders slump as her eyes drifted to the door as if willing Maura to walk through them at that moment. After a moment she nodded, "I'll be back at five. If you leave before I get here Ma…"
Angela nodded, "I'll let you know, and I'll take her straight to the house."
She pushed herself off the stool and dragged her feet as she left the pub. She didn't want to go back to work, which was a first for her in the last five years. She had thrown herself into work, so she didn't have to constantly be reminded of her missing half, her missing unborn child. She didn't want to see the pity in everyone's eyes. The sorrow in her families faces as they watched her every movement, judged her every decision.
She hated her family trying to force her to sell the townhouse but when the house, the home, that she and Maura had wanted to buy together came up after the buyer fell through, she didn't hesitate. She used all the money from the townhouse sell to purchase the house with Maura in mind.
She would have given everything up, all the money, if it meant that she could have Maura by her side again, but it hadn't worked out that way. She was forced to sleep alone, forced to remember what Maura smelled like by using the same shampoo that Maura had used. It had taken everything in her to even look at their photos when she was alone and could let the grief consume her.
She would never let anyone see the pain that she had suffered. The pain that would take her breath away in the dark. The pain that would tighten her chest when Maura's scent filled her mind at inopportune times, like when chasing a suspect through the mall. Her head would swivel in hopes of seeing her blonde Medical Examiner, but it had never happened.
She entered BPD with Korsak and remained silent as her mind swirled with questions. Where had Maura been all this time? Had she been okay? Who had she been with? Had she began seeing someone else? Even as she shook her head at the last question, she still felt heartache. She couldn't bear it if Maura had been with someone else, had fallen in love with someone else. It would end her after all this time.
She sat at her desk and stared at the blank computer screen, vaguely aware of the conversation going on around her. Frost's voice coming from his desk in front of hers, "What's up with her?"
Korsak frowned, "Angela said that the Doc had been at the Dirty Robber."
Frost's chair snapped forward as the man sat up straight, "What? I thought the phone…"
Korsak shook his head, "I don't know why the phone was on Jane Doe, but Angela was adamant that it was the Doc. By the time we got there Angela said that the Doc had to visit her attorney and would be back at five."
Frost shook his head, "Then why is she here. Shouldn't we be looking for Maura?"
She finally brought her head up and faced her partner, "How? We don't have a number for her, and I doubt…" she trailed off.
She couldn't voice it yet. She couldn't ask if her son even knew how to use a phone. Her heart clenched again at the thought of her son, their child that had grown up with Maura. Would he even know who she was? Would he be afraid of her or was he outgoing?
Her mind spiraled deeper and deeper as she began to rub her scars, a habit she picked up long ago. A habit that only Maura had been able to stop her from continuing. Maura had always taken her hands in hers and rubbed them gently, massaging them tenderly.
She stood suddenly, "I can't do this. I have to find her Vince." She moved towards the elevator knowing that using his first name was the only thing that would make him understand.
"Go wait at the Dirty Robber. It won't be too much longer until she heads back there. I'll talk to Cavanaugh for you." The older man spoke even as he walked towards their captain's office.
She entered the elevator her heart racing faster than ever. She felt like she was beginning to lose it, unsure whether her mother had actually seen Maura. It just felt too good to be true. After all this time why did Maura suddenly reappear?
She hurried down to her unmarked cruiser and slid behind the wheel, gripping it tightly as she took slow deep breaths. Could she afford to believe her mother now? After all the tips that she and the rest of BPD had investigated over the years, her pain had only increased every time they turned out to be nothing.
Her heart constricted, the memories of all the tips they had received passing through her mind. The times when she had felt like she was getting closer to the truth. All of it had amounted to nothing. The hope that she had been holding onto over the years had slowly been eating away at her. Chipping away at what had been left of her when Maura had vanished. She started the car after noticing that an hour had passed already, letting herself hope one more time. Just one more time she would hope that this was really Maura.
She drove with her mind blank, the silence of the car giving her a moment of respite. When she parked in front of the Dirty Robber she could only stare at the building, seeing the dark windows that she and Maura had spent dozens of nights looking out of while they chatted and ate.
How was she supposed to face the woman? She was the best Detective that Boston PD had ever seen and yet when her own fiancé had disappeared, she couldn't find her. She had searched everywhere, followed every lead, never gave up. Still, she hadn't been able to save the woman.
She exited the car, adjusting her black blazer so she still had access to the gun and badge on her hip. Pushing through the doors she felt the familiar burst of cool air from Korsak's brand new air conditioners that he had installed over the summer. She caught her mother's eye and nodded towards her usual booth in the back corner of the bar.
Angela held up a beer and she nodded, she defiantly needed a drink while she waited. She sat on the edge of the seat keeping her eyes locked on the entrance. She didn't want to miss the moment Maura walked through those doors, her hope beginning to consume her. Which she knew was a bad idea because she had been consumed by hope before and it had all ended in pain and suffering.
Angela sat across from her after sitting a Heineken on the table, "She'll be here Janie."
She frowned at her mother as she gripped the glass bottle in her hand, "And you're sure it was her?"
Angela eyed her with a look of understanding, "I spoke to her for a while Jane. It's her and she'll be here soon."
She downed half the bottle as her eyes returned to the door. Her heart thumped in her chest painfully as the blood rushed through her ears. She needed this more than ever before. She needed this to be the one time that everything worked out for her.
She finally looked back at her mother, "It's so hard to believe it Ma."
Angela nodded, "I know. All the times we thought a tip was credible and they turned out to be nothing."
She nodded, "Exactly. This just doesn't feel real."
Angela frowned as she looked out the window, "When it first happened, I said the same thing. I didn't want to believe that Maura, sweet Maura, could have something like that happen to her. It's not fair, to either of you. You had a future together but," Angela glanced at her before smiling back out the window, "Now you have a new future together."
She frowned at the wide smile her mother sported and she turned her head to look out the window. Across the street a cab pulled away from the curb and her heart slammed into her throat. Maura hitched a black strap over her shoulder, the duffel bag large but not completely full. A small boy with black hair smiled widely up at Maura before taking her hand and pulled her towards the crosswalk, causing Maura to laugh.
She couldn't take her eyes off the two as they crossed the street and disappeared as they neared the door to the bar. She held her breath as the doors opened and suddenly, she was staring into Maura's hazel eyes as a voice shouted, "Mama!"
She broke eye contact with Maura as the boy ran forward, heading straight for her and she quickly knelt beside the table, holding her arms open wide. The boy launched himself into her arms and she stood holding him, tighter than she probably should have as she felt the tears flow down her cheeks. The boy's arms and legs wrapped tightly around her neck and he buried his face in her neck.
Her eyes met Maura's again and she could see the tears that the blonde was quickly wiping away, but the woman hadn't moved away from the door. The fear that she could see in Maura's eyes broke her heart as she continued to hold her son for the first time.