I was minding my own business at home. Playing some games. I went down to the closest store for some soft-drinks. When I left the store…

The scene replayed. Severed head, still alive. Body mutilated. It shocked me. I ran.

Something was chasing me. It was Berserker. His sword, cutting me in half.

When I came to, I was fine. I looked around. I was at Ryuudou Temple.

I saw the King of Heroes, in his armor. His Gate of Babylon aimed at me. Before I could be hit, Saber showed up to protect me.

My relief was momentary.

Mud seeping from the ground. Engulfing Saber. It was leaving me alone. Both kings disappeared.

The curse of the Grail went as quickly as it came. In its place I saw the most gut wrenching sight before me.

Artoria wearing heavier black armor, her complexion paler, eyes colored in yellow and colder than the south pole. She hides her anger and disgust in a mask of aloofness.

Before I could say anything or process it. Excalibur has already impaled me in the stomach.

"Weak." She said."It was frustrating to protect you all the time!" She yanked it out.

I fell to the ground.

I cried. I pleaded. I don't want to be in this horrific nightmare anymore.

I just want to be home. Let someone competent take my place.

I woke with a gasp. Drenched in sweat. I sat up to check my stomach. Nothing.

Just a nightmare…

Saber by now was at my side, concerned.

...It's funny...I was actually hoping the last 24 hour were a lucid dream.

"Aaron are you all right?"

I was rubbing my eyes. "I'm fine...just some stupid nightmare."

I looked her in the eye.

It turned yellow for a split second.

I shook my head. I shouldn't let it get to me.

Now that I look at her. She wears the same outfit that she wore in the anime. White shirt, blue skirt.

"Wow, that suits you perfectly," I blurted out.

Did she blush a little? I dunno, my head wasn't still in the right place.

"Please don't change the subject. Are you sure you're fine?" She prodded.

She gives me a feeling that if I tell her everything will be fine. Is this Charisma in play?

... No, I don't want to burden her with it. Besides it's just the stress.

However…

"No...I'm not." I sat at the edge of the bed looking down at my feet. She sat down next to me, giving me space. If I don't let at least some things out she will only be more concerned for me.

"I was kind of hoping the last day was a fever dream," I muttered. "I'm confused and scared," I admitted.

Let's see what I have to deal with on the top of my head. There is a cursed grail, Medea and his Assassin. Golden Ego and Mapo Tofu, Sakura's living hell (Though if this is Fate route, maybe she never had hope so she won't flip?), Artoria's dream, and probably more that I forgot.

"I'm scared because I know exactly the situation I'm in… I'm a coward. Even now I want to just leave all this and let someone else deal with it," I said self-deprecatingly.

"Then why won't you?"

"Because I wouldn't be able to look in a mirror for the rest of my life otherwise."

"Hmm, I believe you mistake fear for cowardice. You have yet to make a cowardly move, Aaron."

I snap my head to her so hard, I almost sprain my neck. Kind eyes are looking at me. "You fear because you value your life. That is not a cowardly thing. If you're so convinced you're a coward, then why did you try to save Shirou?"

I see before my eyes, teachers ignoring troublesome students. They used me as an outlet for their shitty situations, sometimes physical and sometimes mental. Others knew but never tried to do anything.

That's when I developed a philosophy. I wouldn't stoop down to their level!

"If you know something bad is going to happen to someone, but won't even try to prevent it, you're guilty of it. That's my outlook. So you see I just wanted to avoid having guilt."

Saber stayed silent for a moment. "I must say, that is indeed an unique way of calling it helping others," she mused. "Even still, it is natural to have those feelings. I won't regard you less because you have them."

That...was indeed comforting. "Thank you, Saber." I manage a small smile.

A sound drew my attention to the door. Archer casually reappeared in the doorway. His gaze locked on me.

"I want to have a word with you."

Really, dude? Urgh, fine.

Saber looked hesitant. Before agreeing I asked. "Is Rin listening in?" He shook his head.

"Alright," I agreed. "Could you leave us alone, Saber?" I asked my Servant politely. She seemed ready to argue for a moment, but reluctantly voiced her agreement.

When she left, He did not beat around the bush. "You know who I am."

I simply nodded. "How?"

"...I already said I won't be giving an existential crisis to anyone, Emiya."

"You're about one eternity too late for that." Snarky bastard. My eyes twitched.

"Like it or not, I won't be telling Tohsaka why his Servant ceased to function." I won't budge on this. Just take my freakin knowledge already! I think the "what" part of it is the only thing you should be concerned with.

"I can already see you're way over your head."

"With that deduction I'm starting to think you're Sherlock!" I can be an asshat too.

"Sarcasm is unbecoming of you."

"Well that makes two of us."

I took in a deep breath to calm myself. I look out the window, next to the bed. It's in the afternoon. 14:00 I'd wager.

I decided to break the tense silence.

"Your dream isn't a mistake," I tell him. Archer is a good guy. He has to deal with shit I couldn't even fathom.

"...What?" There is an edge to his voice.

"I know, this is hollow coming from someone like me. Who had an easy and privileged life so far. But maybe, you're looking at it the wrong way." I tried my best explaining.

He is silent.

"Most of your versions that survive the war don't become you. In one you pursue your ideal until you're in Avalon. In another you confront your future self and pursue that beautiful dream acknowledging it as impossible, without becoming a Guardian. The last you forsake your ideals for one person."

…

"That's only three scenarios in an endless ocean, what about the rest?" He dismissed, expression unchanging.

"...I did not want to bring it up. I'm already overwhelming her, but yesterday with Berserker…" I hesitated. "We were too late."

Another silence, I think he is digesting.

He got the message. "That was a good call on your part," he admitted, "so when do you plan to reveal it?"

"Not today, that's for sure."

"One more thing...What was that about calling me the devil?" His eyes were twitching.

I looked away with sweatdrop. "Let's just say that there's a version of you people who are a bit...Fucking crazy. Even to this situation."

'I have a feeling this is a hell I shouldn't walk into' Archer, satisfied with his reasoning, dropped the topic.

He turned around.

"I'll think about what you've said."

That's the best I could hope for. He went to spirit form.

As I exited from the room, Saber waited for me. She didn't ask about what went down between me and Archer.

"I trust you slept well?" Rin asked me out of courtesy.

I shrugged. He took me to the dining table. It seems Archer is cooking-

Wait! I can taste THE food!

Rin probably asked him to make western food, because I did not have to use any chopsticks! Phew, crisis averted.

I can't describe the sight before me accurately. The smell alone makes my stomach want to leave this unworthy vessel to dig into everything on the table. There were many delicacies. From potatoes, to rice, from chicken to salad.

I took a bite and- BUSTER BRAVE CHAIN CRITICAL!

Maybe the Holy Grail was the food he made along the way.

I looked at the empty seat, and Saber couldn't avert his eyes from the food. Oh!

"Come on, Saber you should eat too, this is amazing!"

She tried to deny it. "As a Servant I don't need food."

I swallowed the food. "You won't get another chance like this, Saber. Besides, this should also help recover some mana, right?"

She looks pensive as if she doesn't deserve this luxury.

I turned dead serious. "Don't make me use a Command Seal."

She looked aghast. "You would waste it for something so trivial?!"

Rin looked like she had a hard time deciding between being amused and face-palming.

With a rare smug expression I looked at her. "There could be worse use of it."

Oh no! She is giving me the "smile".

"What was that dear guest of mine~?"

I saw death itself. "N-nothing!"

Looking at Saber I sighed. "I wasn't joking yesterday, you know. Every Heroic Spirit deserves it, for the shit you've been through."

Saber relented. "Very well." She took a seat.

You know it is surreal seeing someone vacuuming food from a plate.

And I thought my brother had a black hole for a stomach…

When it was all said and done.

"Man, I'm stuffed. That was very good." I praised Archer.

"Indeed." There was a small blush. Probably because she realised how much she ate.

Seeing how content she became from a decent meal...

…

I need to learn how to cook.

Rin snapped me back to reality. "By the way, you haven't reported to the church that you are a Master, correct?" I nodded. She let out a sigh of frustration. "Alright let's go, I'll take you there."

"Do we really have to?" I whined. No, I don't wanna see the hollow lived bastard!

"Yes, you have to, it is the rule. Which admittedly this fake priest invented." She wasn't thrilled that she had to go back. "Now stop complaining and get dressed. We washed the blood stain from your jacket. It will get dark soon."

I once again showed my gratitude to Archer.

Saber grabbed a coat matching the color of her shirt.

The sky already had an orange tint to it.

As we walked, I had to ask Saber. "So Saber, since the Grail is cursed… What will you do?"

After taking a moment she answered. "The oath I swore is still in effect, I just have to hope I get summoned into another Grail War to fulfill my wish."

I winced. Of course it would be unrealistic to expect to drop the dream. Damn, how will I save her?

As we continue in silence Rin decides to break it. "So Aaron, what do you usually do, any hobbies?"

"Nothing really interesting. I'm an introvert who is philosophical from time to time. Freshly graduated and have yet to find a job." I shrugged.

"What do you philosophize about?" She inquired. Guess she wants to try to start a conversation.

…

Man will this sound emo or edgy?

I let out a long sigh. "You look around in the daily news, what do you see? Injustice left and right, bad news making headlines because good just doesn't make good coverage . You look around and ask yourself. "Why? Why are we like this? Why can't we help each other? Wouldn't that be better for everyone?" I ask these questions and I look for my answer."

She looks at me funnily. "Nope, I'm not a psychopath or sociopath," I deadpan. "Anyway, I never really had friends, so this was what I had. Well, back on topic when I got my answers, you can say I realized I'm just not fit into the world. I can't really handle the cruelty and I'm weak. I'm not complaining, I accepted that fact, yet I also know it could be worse. After all, I have a supportive and welcoming family at home," I said the last bit with a small smile.

She stopped walking and turned to me with a glare. "How?...How can you say all this like you're talking about the weather!?" She's upset.

I snorted. "Because I did a lot of introspection in my short life. Do I like it? No, but I had to accept it. Better than living your life in denial. I'm way too pathetic as it is,"

I abandoned the notion of fitting in with others. Like I did with finding a girl who will actually love me. Holding me tightly. Although deep down I still yearn for it. In the world, if you are a male and don't hide your emotion you're simply not acknowledged. You're a little bitch and you have to 'man up', something that I just couldn't do. I was ridiculed for it.

"So don't pity me. Life can always be worse, and I haven't suffered like Saber, Archer or you for that matter."

She turned around with a huff. "Like I would with an idiot like you." I didn't realise it, but from this point on she decided to try to be a friend to me. Maybe because of the secrecy in her life she doesn't have to be lonely anymore.

Saber was silent throughout the exchange. Maybe she wanted to say something to me, but didn't know how to word it.

The rest of the walk went in awkward silence.

The sun is going to set soon.

Standing at the gates of the church, I feel uneasy. Will Gilgamesh be in there? Do I really want to speak to Kotomine?

Maybe I should use a Command Seal to annihilate this place… They would never see it coming. It would be their Last Surprise! Haha!

"Aaron." I didn't respond.

I was still deep in thought. 'Why shouldn't I? The bastard used so many orphans as mana batteries.'

"Aaron!" Tohsaka snapped me out.

"Sorry, I was spacing out." I sheepishly scratched the back of my head.

She rolled her eyes. "Anyway, we'll wait for you here until you finish registering."

W-wait! "Alone?" I asked. Please tell me this is an out of season April fools joke!

"What? You're older than me and afraid to register?" She teased.

"No, I just don't think they would appreciate an atheist sullying their precious holy ground," I lied through my teeth.

"You faced a demi-god yet you deny the existence of gods?" She deadpanned.

"...Touché"

Rin's patience thinned and shoved me through the gates. "You monster!" I cried.

"No, I'm the devil, now stop wasting time!" She said with a tick mark on her forehead. "Besides, I already told him I won't meet him till the war is over! How would that look if I marched back to him the next day!"

Did, did she just quote Broly? Oh well guess she has a point.

Accepting my destiny of meeting with Black Keys-san I march forward.

Here I come. Yorokobe Kurva anyád! (Son of a bitch)

Hyped up, I marched to the front door and opened it.

"Ah, a guest. Tell me child, what brings you to the house of the Lord?" Kirei welcomed me.

Seeing him in real life sends me shivers down my spine.

However there is a third person in the room. Gilgamesh is sitting in the middle of a pew to the right with palpable boredom.

Shit.

Okay, let's get this over with before they get interested in me… However unlikely that is.

I showed the back of my hand. "I'm the Master of Saber, I came to register."

The priest 'smiled'. "Oh, so she found a Master."

Gilgamesh looked at me. Not good.

I was starting to get pretty tense. Fuck it, first sign of danger I call Saber.

His lips curled upwards. "You're in luck, Kirei. It seems this won't be as dull as I expected."

"Indeed, I have to admit I had also felt disappointed when her last Master quit so quickly. Knowing we have a full roster of Masters and Servants is reassuring." 'Reassuring?' You're just glad you have more unwitting players on your sick stage, bastard. "I'm Kotomine Kirei. the designated overseer of this war. May I have your name for the record, young man?"

"Aaron Eagle."

"Hmm, not a name I recognize." Seems I disappointed the Mapo Tofu enjoyer. "Are you a mage or simply someone who got dragged into this Grail War?"

"Civilian."

"I see, that's unfortunate." Did he… just write me off like that? "Seeing that you knew to come here, you must be aware of the rules, or at least some of them." Rules? That's an interesting way to say 'lightly worded guidelines'…

"Yes. A few friends of mine explained what they could and Saber filled in the rest," I shrugged stiffly. "Seven Masters and seven Servants. Kill the other pairs in secret to claim the Grail and a wish, right?"

A part of me wanted to ask why the heck wasn't Shirou protected as a resigned Master. Was it because he left the church? If so, I would just make a fool of myself if I did point it out.

"While that's a rather brief and crude summary, that would indeed be the gist of it." His 'smile' became even more amused. "I trust your Servant to have explained the code of conduct, but if you have any questions about the finer details, don't hesitate to ask."

"I'll manage, thank you," I quickly shook my head in denial.

"Hmm, if there is nothing else our business is concluded. You are now officially registered as the new Master of the Saber Servant." Thank goodness Kirei doesn't find me interesting enough to keep grilling me.

I nodded silently at them and turned around to leave. My footsteps echoed painfully in the spacious room, which didn't help my rising anxiety one bit. As I was about to step through the exit, Kirei's voice froze me in my tracks.

"I'll look forward to how you will perform in the coming weeks, young man. Being a Master carries its own hardships and obligations that you must endure and uphold. You need not look further than your own predecessor to see what happens when one neglects that duty."

...

I stepped through the door and quietly closed it behind me.

I wiped a bead of sweat from my forehead.

Walking through the front gate I could see Rin was concerned.

"You look rather pale."

I glanced at the church again and then back to the two girls. "Later. Can we go? this place gives me the creeps."

Rin nodded in understanding and we walked away.

Back in the church, the King of Heroes was amused.

"That mongrel recognized us."

"With how tense he looked, I suspected something along those lines. Do you want me to have Lancer deal with him?"

"Perish the thought, he kept my Saber in this world, so as a generous king I shall let him be for now. Furthermore, he does interest me," he smiled.

"Oh? Might I ask why?" Now Kirei was intrigued as well.

"Out of boredom I peered into his past," his smile widened, "except I could not see further than yesterday."

Let it be known it was not easy to surprise Kirei. But for someone so ordinary to be basically immune to Archer's Noble Phantasm...

"It seems he is more than meets the eye."

"Indeed, only time will tell if he is more than a mere cur."

It was already dark. we were walking back on less populated streets.

"I'm thankful Rin, but don't you think six bags of clothing a bit much?"

"Hell no! You think I will let you be all gross with that one set of clothing you have?" Rin said like I was a lunatic.

"Oh sorry, next time I will prepare in advance for being randomly thrown across universes!" Sarcasm is very healthy. "Why do you have to act like I'm a hobo you took off the streets!?" I asked with annoyance.

"Can you say something to contradict that statement?" She asked rhetorically with a smirk.

...I walked into that one.

Satisfied with her victory, the twin-tailed girl led the way.

Taking a detour, we found a board with a map of the whole city, the kind they place for foreign tourists.

She proceeded to explain the general layouts of the city. Miyama is the sub-urban district where she lives, while Shinto is the modern part of town. She also went over things like Homuhara, the academy she goes to, and Mount Enzou.

With that little pitstop out of the way, we continued back home.

"..,I'm telling you all this so you won't be dilly dallying when I need help against an enemy Servant!" She crossed her arms.

"Why do you feel the need to justify your actions?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

Oh, she was embarrassed! Hey, what goes around comes around.

"T-that's-!" Her was cut off. I felt a very strange feeling. "A Bounded Field?" Her eyes widened, and Saber's narrowed.

We heard a womanly scream.

Tohsaka ran ahead towards the back alley where it came from. I dropped the bags and ran ahead with Saber in tow.

Catching up with Tohsaka, I saw Rider holding a girl around Rin's age.

"Ayako!" Rin shouted with concern. Saber quickly moved in front of her and materialised her armor.

The enemy Servant gently put her down on the ground while licking the blood on her lips.

"Who would have thought we would meet here, Tohsaka." Slimy voice, arrogant attitude, yep Shinji Matou came out of the shadows.

However, in his eye there was something I haven't seen before.

A sense of determination?

"Feeding on the mana of bystanders? For the Matou to sink so low…" The heiress did not hide her contempt.

"Shut up! Not all of us are so lucky to be born with Magic Circuits!" Shinji shouted, but then he grinned. "That must be your Servant, isn't it? I will forgive you if you team up with me."

"Some of us have standards, Matou," she retorted. Ouch! "What are you hoping to achieve with the Holy Grail anyway?"

Shinji was seething. "Recognition, what else! Or at least that was the case until this morning."

His expression turned somber. Why would-

"!"

I looked at Tohsaka. She won't be ready for this!

"We may have not been friends anymore but he certainly did not deserve that. I will gather enough mana to destroy whoever did this injustice!"

You know, a part of me is glad that he is this upset by Shirou's death. But he would most likely kick his ass for doing these things in his name!

Her patience was getting thin."What are you rambling about?!"

I decided to step in front of her.

Shinji finally took notice of me, it wasn't an honor.

"Ho? And who might you be?" He asked with disinterest.

"A competent Master? Someone who can actually supply their Servant with magical energy? Take your pick," I shrugged. It is amazing how he can get gut reaction burns from people.

He was grinding his teeth in anger, but stopped with narrowed eyes. "Master?...Wait are you-"

I showed him my command seals.

He grinned and took out his book. "Wonderful, get him Rider!" He sicced his Servant at me. But unlike yesterday I wasn't scared. Easiest answer would be: Shinji. But I'll elaborate all the same.

Even Saber, under contract with Emiya at the time, managed to curb-stomp Rider. I can provide her with Mana.

Do the math. Plus I did face the monster that is Heracles yesterday. Compared to that this is nothing.

It went as well as anyone would expect. Rider used her chains to try to rope Saber, but she pulled a "Get over here!" and nearly cut her in half with her sword. Her body flew past Shinji and crashed into a few boxes which cushioned her crash.

"Huh?" stopped working.

"Amazing." Rin was awed by her strength. Seeing how powerful she is when not trying to kill her.

I calmly walked past Saber.

Shinji turned to Rider. "Get up!" he ordered.

Rider was electrocuted. It did not last long. Because I throw the best right hook of my entire life, right into Shinji's face. The book fell to the ground and he got knocked down to his ass.

I eyed the book. If I could get a few moments with Rider…

"You!" He was glaring at me.

"Wanna know why I've won?" I asked.

"Gloat, why don't you! Just because you have a Saber servant."

"Class doesn't have anything to do with it. Rider could have given Saber a run for her money."

It was true.

"Huh?"

"As a Master it is your responsibility to establish a connection with your Servant and level the playing field from the sideline," I lectured. "The fact is there are no bad Servants. There are bad matchups for sure. and there are bad Masters."

"Master, I would appreciate it if you'd not advise the enemy." Saber said while coming to a stop next to me, her eyes never leaving Rider's form while Rin went to check on her schoolmate. Well she is right, this will most likely be a waste.

I crouched down to pick up the book.

As soon as I picked it up, I quickly had to throw it away because it combusted into flames.

Rider went into spirit form.

Damn it!

"It seems you have lost, Shinji." That voice… Oh that bastard decided to show up!

Zouken Matou in the rotten flesh.

"Grandfather!" Shinji said with trepidation as he crawled back to him.

This drew Rin's attention too. "Zouken."

"What a pathetic loss, my grandson." He then looked at me. "It's your victory, Master of Saber. The Matou will retreat from this war, all I ask is to leave this sorry excuse to live."

I clenched my hands into fists, I wanted nothing more than to blast him to pieces! But It wouldn't accomplish anything. His soul is within Sakura.

I looked at Shinji. I both hate and pity him. He is a victim too, but it doesn't excuse that shitty behavior.

"After I have a little talk with him I will let him go. He will go home in one piece."

He laughed at Shinji's misery. "Well, I made my case. It seems I can't do anything to stop him." With that his body turned into worms and left. He gave up suspiciously easily. Maybe he knows I won't hurt him?

No, he must think that by letting me do whatever I do with him, it would make manipulating Shinji or Sakura easier?

I pulled him by the scruff of his jacket and whispered to his ears. "If I find out you hurt Sakura in any shape or form, I will kill you."

This is the only form of warning he will get from me. Why don't I kill him? Victims tend to develop an attachment to their abuser. If I kill Shinji, Sakura will definitely become one with the Shadow by tomorrow night.

Yeah, that is a can of worms I'm not prepared for. I don't know if she had hopes for Shirou or if she is at the edge already. Shirou was the one last hope keeping Sakura together.

I let go of him. But he was enraged. "Sakura, Sakura, SAKURA! Why is she always getting the attention! What makes her so special?!"

I decided to ignore it. "I pity you."

"...What?" He asked with dead calmness.

"Me and Tohsaka, find you pitiful at best. Right at this moment Sakura is the only one who still cares about you." I turned my back on him. "Not to mention you cater for the attention from someone who'll never acknowledge you."

I left him there stunned. He left without a word. I went to Rin who was still checking on Mitsuzuri.

"Other than minor blood loss, she's fine. She'll recover," she said, observing the wound on her neck.

"That's a relief," I sighed. "So, where do we bring her?"

"The church, Kirei can treat her." Rin had a headache already.

"You will do the explaining," I blurted out.

"...I suppose that is fair," Rin conceded.

Well, I can't ask her or Saber to carry her.

"I'll give her a piggyback ride," I volunteered.

And so we went to church, at least Rin decided to carry the bags we left.

After we dropped her off, Kirei was positively amused. Rin not so much. Thankfully it was only a few minutes. Gilgamesh wasn't there thankfully. I was already feeling drowsy. it's probably past 10 by now.

We were crossing the bridge to Miyama town.

"It was strange," Rin muttered.

I perked up. "What's on your mind."

"How Shinji acted. Who do you think he was rambling about?" Her eyes narrowed. "And what was that about Sakura?"

…

I can't stall this much longer. She will go to school tomorrow, won't she? His death will certainly be common knowledge by then. FUCK!

And Sakura… I have to leave the Shadow out of it. She will insist on killing her then no matter how much it would fuck her up mentally.

Will the Shadow even appear? I mean, isn't Forest of no return exclusive to the Fate route? Doesn't that mean she won't break then?

...As much as I hate it I can't jump the gun. I hate it but with Caster, Berserker and Gilgamesh, Sakura has to fade into the background until the Shadow is active. The only thing I can hope to do for her, is to convince Rin to be the big sis she was meant to be for her.

But how do I rip the band-aid off?

"Would you answer me before dawn?"

"Rin," I said her name with the most serious tone I could muster. "The only thing I can tell you is to prepare emotionally."

It won't do much. But at least maybe she won't turn into a wreck.

"Is it that serious?" She asked.

"When we get back," I said with finality.

Saber was beside us, once again wearing regular clothing.

"I can recount the tale if you need me, Aaron." She was trying to be supportive.

"That is not the only thing that needs to be addressed," I muttered.

We dropped the bags into my room. I was preparing myself mentally to break this news. Rin won't budge anymore. While it is more merciful now than tomorrow, learning from school. Now I was about to tell that his crush was crushed.

God damn this war…

We're sitting in the living room opposite of each other, Saber's beside me.

"With Berserker, we left out a crucial detail for a reason," I started explaining.

Rin was silent and listening. "When I met Saber without a Master I instantly recognised who was in danger."

Rin froze, starting to piece it together.

"I was trying to prevent it but we were too late."

She was trembling.

"Yesterday, Shirou Emiya died."

Beta: The Royal Protector

Cliffhanger. Yes I'm an asshole.

I could have gone the easy way with Shinji like many other authors. Just put him down, and kill him. But there is a human aspect to his character. From the wiki I read "he hates injustice (if he is not the one who does it)" So I'm pretty sure he would mourn Emiya especially since he did not know he was a Master. When someone dies who was once close to you, even friends, the good times are the first thing that comes to mind. In this case Shinji actually partly blames himself for his death, because he put him to work on cleaning the club.