Not sure how many of you were confused about my last update, but that entire chapter was a flashback, and this chapter will pick up in the present time with Olivia and Fitz meeting.

XXX

The clock now read 7:58. She had two minutes, maybe even three or more depending on Fitz and his slow driving.

Olivia was a nervous wreck, she'd been practicing what she'd say all night, "I love you. I was an idiot and killed our baby but I love you", she thought, then she shook her head. God no, she couldn't say that. That was too harsh to sympathize with. She grabbed the wine bottle and poured herself a generous amount before knocking it back in one gulp, then she got ready to pour herself another.

"Whoa there. Olivia, slow down." The voice behind her softly said, and it immediately gave her skin goose pimples. She didn't even hear him come in! When did he get in?! She felt embarrassed and she eyed the clock on the kitchen's wall. Eight o'clock. He's right on time. "Sorry. I- I- I'm just-"

"Hey, sit down. Calm down, Liv. It's just me and you tonight. Whatever it is, that's so bad- we can get through it." Fitz said reassuringly as he guided Olivia to the table to sit, then he rolled up the sleeve on his white dress shirt and went over to the stove to make their plates.

There was so much food that it actually took Fitz a lengthy amount of time to prepare both of their plates. "Damn, Liv.. Weren't you just expecting me tonight, and not Jesus and his twelve disciples?" Fitz teased as he glanced over his right shoulder at her, then he heard her snort with laughter, which of course made him smile in return.

"You church boy! You and your churchy jokes. So corny." Olivia giggled. God, he was so perfect for her. Why must he be so perfect? Even when she felt like shit- worthless even, he had the power to make the corners of her mouth turn up to a smile and make her genuinely laugh.

Olivia felt like an idiot for doing what she had done. He didn't deserve the blow that was coming, and she didn't feel worthy of his forgiveness, if he did decide to ever forgive her. She half-smiled at him as he placed her full plate of food in front of her.

There's no way she's going eat all of that. He thought.

Fitz took the seat at the head of the table with Olivia at his right side, and like always they each took time to pray over their meal, but Liv asked the heavens to bless more than just her food, then the eerie silence set in as the two started to eat their dinner.

"Carter is at your mom's house tonight, correct?" Fitz asked with a cheery smile to break the silence, yet, he was pretending.

He felt sick inside, he wasn't aware of the reason he was here, but he knew it wasn't good. When he walked in and caught Olivia indulging in that much wine he knew he would have to be the strong one for whatever reason.

So many times he'd left her alone, leaving her to be the strong on her own, but for tonight, he'd have her back. At least he thought he would.

"No, he's actually with both of our moms. You didn't get my text or Carter's call? Apparently our mothers decided to leave town for some weekend convention and they're staying at some hotel near the beach, and they took Carter with them. He, of course was happy to go when he called to make sure if it was okay with me, as if I actually have a say-so when those two women are around. I told him to call you too."

Fitz laughed, he knew it was true. Neither him or Liv had a say-so when it came to Emma, Maya and their son. "They might've called the office when everyone was out, or could've been when my cell died. I'll give him a call later."

"Haven't I told you to keep that device charged, mister?" Olivia asked as she narrowed her eyes at him and Fitz chuckled, maybe he shouldn't have said that. Fitz had a horrible habit of letting that thing die and it truly irked Olivia's nerves.

Besides, she was always on her cellphone so she kept hers charged religiously. And that irked Fitz's nerves.

When it came to social media or technology period, they were completely opposite. Fitz was a wee bit behind.

Dinner between the two went surprisingly well, and once all the leftovers were stored away the two cleaned the kitchen then moved towards the living room. They sat on opposite sides of the couch and were once again consumed by silence yet both of their young minds were running.

They'd both played a good game of ignoring the real reason for Fitz's visit, but now it was time.

Fitz cleared his throat which immediately drew Olivia's attention. She had a worried look in her eyes as she looked at him. "Just spit it out, Liv. Please. I can't- I need to know. No more pretending."

"I'm so sorry, Fitz. If I could take back what I did that day I would. That day was so bad, we'd been arguing so much and I just-"

Before Fitz knew it he was up on his feet and looking down at Olivia with hurtful eyes. Was she admitting to cheating on him? That's why she wanted him gone? "Did you cheat on me, Olivia? Is that what you're sorry for?" He asked with his voice slightly raised. Olivia shook her head and wiped her tears before she stood too.

Maybe that wasn't the best way to start it off, she thought.

"No, Fitz. That's not it. Just- just try to listen to me, with no irruptions. Please." Olivia gestured for him to sit back down and he did, but she remained standing. It helped her get her words together. Always have.

"I'm afraid that what I did was- is possibly so much worse than that.. It was around the time that I wouldn't stop telling you how sickly I thought Carter was. We'd been arguing about that nonstop and about how you were always so busy with work.

I don't really know what possessed me, but I allowed my anger, desperation and pain to drive me into doing something so ridiculous and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't regret my choice-"

Olivia stopped pacing and took a deep breath, tears were running down her face as she remembered the day she sat in that cold dark room all alone after the deed was done. And athough she felt lightheaded from the retelling of her story, she pressed on with Fitz listening intently with a racing heartbeat.

"I had been feeling nauseous for quite some time and I knew something wasn't right, so I took a pregnancy test. I didn't suspect that I was pregnant, and I was right, the test read negative. I was relieved because we weren't in a good place in our marriage for a baby. However, the sick feeling never went away, so after taking Carter to school a few following days and you were in the office I'm sure, I went to the doctor for a second opinion and turns out I was pregnant. Five weeks to be exact. Shortly after finding that out, we had another one of our arguments about Carter and you working so much, so I scheduled an appointment for the baby and I...

However...Um, it wasn't to see how well the baby and I were progressing or anything, it was to terminate the pregnancy. I had the procedure done, Fitz, and I've hated myself for it every since. I'm so sorry, Fitz."

—

Complete silence. Well, besides the sobs of Olivia's crying. Fitz had left after hearing Liv's truth– well, he left after raising all hell in that house. Pictures and glass was nearly shattered everywhere. He went absolutely ballistic, yet he never raised a hand at her.

Thankfully.

Fitz was a loving, gentle, kindhearted man but he certainly had a temper, and Olivia, she'd witnessed it a few times but never was the wrath of his words or anger aimed at her, until now. She broke that mans heart and wasn't so sure if she could put the pieces back together. Now or ever.

She stumbled into her bedroom with a pounding headache, blurred vision, and a tight chest. She had only enough strength to hit press the 'lock button' on the right side of her iphone a few times for the Emergency SOS to dial 9-1-1 and alert the people in her emergency contact list before she blacked out, barely making it on her bed.

XXXX

Fitz sat in his dark home. Night fell many hours ago when he was over at Liv's place and it was a miracle that he even made it home safely. He drove back with a blurry vision from his own tears.

He cried for his child that wasn't given a chance at life, and he cried for himself and Olivia's marriage. After all of that, he still loved that woman with everything in him, but he wondered how could he- or how could they possibly move on from this? Or if he even wanted to? Would love be enough?

He was confused. Hurt. Angry. And most of all,he felt guilty. He felt as if he'd failed as a man, husband and father. Fitz knew he had screwed up, but he didn't suspect that it was this bad that she had to go and abort their baby without even so much as discussing it with him or thinking about how it would affect their relationship and their families.

If she wasn't ready he would have never pushed her to keep it anyway, or maybe-, but that was besides the point- she'd taken away his voice. She'd lied to him for years. For years he thought he was the problem and wasn't worthy of her love. If this was so easy for her to do in a moment of dispute- what else was she capable of doing when they weren't seeing eye to eye?

He had more questions than answers, and he could only think of one person to call.

"Mom, she- she killed our baby. She aborted my fucking child, mom." Fitz sobbed the moment he heard the "Yes, dear?" from his mother's sweet voice.

"Fitz? What? What are you talking about, son?" Emma asked with furrowed brows. Her heart already aching from the sound of her boy's cries and disbelief from his words. Thinking maybe she'd heard him wrong. "Come again, Fitzy?" She reframed.

"Olivia, mom! She told me why'd she wanted me gone! It was to push me away because she aborted our child!"

Emma sat quietly on the phone. What could she possibly say to this news? The long winded woman had nothing to offer but her silence.

Her heart pounded as she glanced in her dearest friend direction with teary eyes, Olivia's mom, Maya.

She knew all along huh?

Before Emma could muster up any words to calm her boy and herself, she felt her phone buzz in her hand and against her ear at the exact time Fitz's and Maya's phones chimed.

"Just- just a second, mom."

His mother waited on the line and checked her own incoming messages as Fitz sniffled and went to his unread thread. He had half the mind to ignore the message once he realized who it was from, but his curiosity and his heart wouldn't allow that.

Wife's Cell: "Emergency SOS:

Olivia Pope-Grant has made an emergency call from this approximate location, (Home). You are receiving this message because Olivia has listed you as an emergency contact."

Nothing else mattered to him in that moment. Not their big fight and not even the "baby". His stomach dropped as he heard his mother and mother-in-law through the phone. He knew they'd received the message too.

"It's Olivia! Something's- something's wrong, Em!" Maya cried as she rushed to Emma's side.

They'd been sharing a hotel suite together with their grandson. And although it was late in the night, the trio wasn't letting the time stop their card game.

Poor Carter jumped up at the mentioning of his mommy's name and "something's wrong", for him, those words were never supposed to be in the same sentence. Ever.

"Mom? Is my mommy ok, grandma?" He asked with a worried look as he slowly walked over to his grandmothers.

And unbeknownst to the trio, his dad was well on his way to find out as they were updated with a new message on Olivia's whereabouts.

Fitz knew the route and so did Emma and Maya. She was being transported to the hospital.

X

A lot to unpack. Hope you enjoyed, and send well wishes to Olivia!

— A

Also, women, your body is just that, yours.

No abortion shaming / judgement here!