Once we got to the hospital Tara went to the nurses station to check in "Abel". I had carried him in from the car; Nita offered but holding him distracted me and calmed my nerves. I had to keep my composure while we were in public. Morrow's didn't break down, didn't show weakness in front of others.
I only gave Abel to Nita when we got to the exam room.
"Put this on and then the sheet over your lap on the table." Tara said, handing me the paper gown.
"I need help with my top." I said, looking at my feet.
"Oh, right."
Tara took my shirt off and undid my bra clasp. She was trying, and failing, not to stare. I could hardly blame her, I was covered in cuts and bruises.
"Can you tie the gown?" I asked her once I put it on.
Once that was done, I pushed my skirt and underwear off my hips and stepped out of it. She helped me onto the table and laid the sheet over my lap. She picked up my clothes and took my boots off for me. She pulled over her table and stool, then put on her gloves. I closed my eyes trying to block out everything that was about to happen. Ha, if only. My life was never that easy.
"Can you put your feet in the stirrups and lie back?" She was at my side and guided me back onto the table.
"Okay. I have to tell you everything that's going to happen and get your verbal consent for each step. If you change your mind just say something and I'll stop."
"Okay."
"Okay, first I have to…" I couldn't listen to her. Hell, I didn't even want to do this, but I knew I had to. I definitely didn't want to know what she was going to do. I was starting to panic so I just closed my eyes and nodded.
"Is that all?"
"Yes. Are you okay with this?"
"Yes. Do it."
I was starting to sweat, I couldn't breathe and my chest was tight. Then I felt pain, again. I bit my lip and screwed my eyes shit, trying desperately not to scream.
"Are you okay?"
It was too much. I couldn't take anymore. I felt like I was back in that place and their hands, oh god I could feel their hands on me.
"Amelia?" Tara reached up and grabbed my hand. I gasped and covered my mouth so I wouldn't scream.
"You're okay. You're safe now. You're okay."
"No, I'm not. I'm not okay and I'm not safe. I'm vulnerable and vulnerability is a liability. There's no room for it in this life, this family. That's what my mother always says, she's right. There's no place for liabilities and that's what I am now. A goddamn liability."
"That's not true. You got hurt, but you will recover. You will still be the same badass biker princess you've always been."
"I don't think I'll ever be the same again." I could feel the tears welling up. I could not cry in front of Tara, I was already humiliated enough. "Let's just get this over with, okay?"
"I'm almost done actually."
"Goody." I said with an eye roll.
"Why do you do that?"
"Do what?"
"Anytime you show any kind of emotion you immediately shut down and become a real bitch."
"I don't care for heart-to-heart conversations. Plus, I would especially not like to have one with you staring at my pussy while I'm trying not to panic."
"Alright Gemma." She said under her breath.
"I heard that." It actually made me smile.
Once the exam was over she grabbed my hand to help me sit up on the table.
"You have a number of small tears internally, but those will heal on their own. 'M gonna take some blood and run a full panel for all STDs, but these are the pills for gonorrhea, clamidia, and Plan B."
"Mhmm." She handed me water to take them with as someone knocked on the door.
I looked up shocked and she pulled the curtain closed before opening the door.
"I need to talk to her." It was Wayne.
"I don't think-"
"Let him in." She stepped aside and he moved the curtain back.
"Oh, sorry." He turned his head, seeing me in a thin paper gown.
"What is it?" I asked after rolling my eyes and hitting his arm.
"Clay and Gemma are here."
"What?!" I hit his arm harder that time.
"Will you stop that. I told them you were in a car accident."
"Wh-what?"
"I ran your Caddy into a cement barrier." He looked at both of us. "Shoot me if you must, I just didn't see another way to explain your injuries… And there's one more thing. Jax and the guys are here, all of them."
"Jesus Christ. Is there anyone you didn't tell?"
"I'll go handle it." Tara said. I glared at her, to which she added, "I won't tell them anything."
"I don't want to see him yet. Tig. I can't- not yet."
"Alright." They both went to leave, but I grabbed Wayne's arm.
"This wasn't about me." I whispered. "What those animals did. They did it to hurt dad, the club. Anyone finds out… they win. I can't let that happen."
"Who's they sweetheart?"
"That don't matter." I looked down at my hands and rubbed my wrists. The bruises from the handcuffs were already forming. Wayne left and all I could think was 'I'm glad I wore long sleeves.'